02x01 - The Phineas and Ferb Effect

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Milo Murphy's Law". Aired: October 3, 2016 to May 2019.*
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"Milo Murphy's Law" follows 13-year-old Milo Murphy, the fictional great-great-great-great grandson of the Murphy's Law namesake.
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02x01 - The Phineas and Ferb Effect

Post by bunniefuu »

So, let me get this straight.

There are Pistashion monsters and they're bad.

You, went back in time to 1965, and found out that one of them had taken over some TV show.

And when you got back to the present, those same plant monsters, had imprisoned everyone, in a lard-themed amusement park and replaced them with plants wearing rubber human masks.

The only way to fix this is with a time machine.

Ours is broken.

And you're looking for some guy named "Professor Time," to help you.

So, in a nutshell, what you're saying is...

You're not the pizza delivery guy.

No, we are not the pizza delivery guy.

All right, well, I'll let you out then.

[all grunt]

♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky ♪

♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly ♪

♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree ♪

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

[Cavendish] Professor Time, I am beyond pleased to meet you.

Balthazar Cavendish, big fan.

You, sir, are my idol.

[stammers] Are you talking to me?

Yes. You're Professor Time, you're going to invent time travel and change the world.

Really? And on what exactly are you basing this assumption?

Ooh, it's not an assumption. We are from the future.

Fifteen years from now, you invent time travel.

You are the great Professor Time.

You know, my name isn't Professor Time, it's Doofenshmirtz.

Yeah, we're pretty sure you change your name.

For branding purposes.

♪ Time chips Don't share with a friend ♪ Those are mine.

I have branding in the future?

Well, of course you do. T-shirts, hats, I'm wearing your underpants.

Well, not your underpants, they're Professor Time brand.

They have your picture on them, do you want to see?

Uh... No.

This is bad, Melissa. They've got half the town in here.

And no sign of Milo.

We gotta figure out a way to escape.

[Buford] Yeah, good luck with that lady.

Well, what are you guys doing?

-Recon, duh! -Whoa!

Would you turn around, please? We have been studying the Pistashions' movements, but I still cannot deduce the purpose of the giant MULCH device.

Whatever it is, they've sure got a lot of guards around it.

-[grunts] -And, so, what's your deal anyway?

You two a couple or something?

-[both exclaiming] -No!

Wait! You are Zack Underwood of the Lumberzacks!

Hey, somebody recognized me.

Yeah, in plant jail. I'll take what I can get.

I have your CD, I carry it with me always.

Oh yeah, Chop, Chop, Chop.

I remember that. I even heard one of the guards singing it earlier.

[Melissa] One of the guards? That gives me an idea.

This might be the perfect diversion.

[music playing]

Hey, that's Zack Underwood of the Lumberzacks.

We should get his autograph now, before... Well, you know.

Ugh. Stop foreshadowing, Bob.

♪ I know you're pining ♪

♪ But every cloud Has got a silver lining ♪

♪ The leaves are parting Now the sun is shining ♪

-♪ And you're in my arms ♪ -♪ So the planets are aligning ♪

♪ My heart is strong like a tree ♪

♪ And you belong Baby you belong with me ♪

♪ Without you I'm tied to the ground ♪

♪ And if I fall Do I even make a sound ♪

♪ Chop chop chop Chop away at my heart ♪

♪ I can feel it falling And I will never part ♪

♪ I know you You've been there from the start ♪

♪ So baby chop chop chop Chop away at my heart ♪

♪ Na na na na Na na na na na na na ♪ Mr. Murphy? Quickly, over this way.

I never realized that Zack was the Zack of the Lumberzacks.

Yeah, I know, it's a big shock. Now stand over here, next to this lard goat.

-Now what? -Uh, I'm not exactly sure.

So, what am I doing here?

I was hoping for a little Murphy's Law.

That's not really how it works.

[grunts]

[screaming]

Well, I guess, sometimes it works like that.

Run!

[struggling]

Oh, no!

Get out of here, Zack, go find Milo, run.

We'll come back for you.

And now my arm is under a pig.

♪ Professor Time's building recently Renamed for branding purposes ♪

[Cavendish] So, basically, we need you to invent a time machine.

Well, it just so happens I've already built a time machine.

Behold, the Time Travelinator!

-Fascinating! -It looks like a taco.

I'm gonna be someone important in the future.

Me, who would've thought, right?

Right?

Why you talking to Milo's dog?

-[panting] -[stutters]

I'm sorry. Force of habit, I guess.

You mean, he's not the...

You know, with a little hat, part of a secret organization?

-None of that? -No. He's just a dog.

Yeah, as far as you know.

It's essential that we get back to 1965, as quick as possible.

Oh, 1965, that's where I wanted to go.

I wanted to pick up some Wyattburp orange soda there.

It was discontinued in the '70s for destroying the environment...

And you still wanna drink it?

Oh, sure. I mean, I'm not the environment.

Perry the platypus...

Whoa, what's that?

It's Perry the platypus, I just said that.

[Dakota] He's wearing a hat. And he's a platypus?

And his name is Perry... It's like I'm not even here.

[computer] Attention! Top priority message from OWCA, attention.

Doofenshmirtz, old-timey guy, other oddly dressed people...

[chuckles] "Old-timey guy"! I heard him.

Sentient pistachio plants are taking over...

-Yeah, yeah, we already know... -No, but...

Here's the problem... No, wait, wait, no, no.

All right, here we go. So, I've built a time machine, but it will not work without an element I call "time juice."

Which has not been discovered yet.

It'll probably be on the periodic table down here next to Pizzazium Infinionite...

The time juice is an element in the future.

It made extremely accurate clocks possible and eventually led to time travel.

So that's why the Pistashions in the future were rounding up all the clocks, so no one can get the time juice.

Wait a minute. I have one of the clocks.

-Dakota gave it to me. -Yeah, I did.

Look at me thinking ahead, mention this time juice and that.

It's in my room back at the house.

What, it's not in your backpack?

Who keeps a clock in their backpack?

[chuckles] That's just weird.

Don't worry guys, I'll just go back to my house and get the clock.

-[all gasping] -Now it looks like nachos.

My time machine!

Oh, and the ductwork too, that was still under warranty.

How peculiar. Oh, I'm a Murphy, that's just Murphy's Law. Right, guys?

[all] "Murphy's Law"?

Anything that can go wrong near me, usually will.

That's a law? I've had that my whole life. [gasps]

Maybe we're related.

Well, can it be rebuilt? We need this.

I don't think I can rebuild the ductwork, I need a ladder bigger than a...

Oh, you mean the time machine. Yeah, I can rebuild that.

While you guys fix this, I'll go home and get the clock.

[muttering]

He's either saying he's going with you, or he regrets the impulsive mistakes of his youth. I'm not sure.

[uptempo music playing]

-[Milo] Diogee, we're going home. -[yelps]

[shushes]

Oh, uh, hi!

[both] How has your day been progressing?

Back! He's loaded.

[grunts]

[groans]

[yells]

Got the clock.

[groans] They're getting away!

-[grunts] -[snarls]

[Milo cheering]

-[jetpack sputtering] -Murphy's Law, here you go.

[Milo] Remind me to wipe the dog slobber off that clock.

[gasps] Quick, mister, you've gotta get out of here.

There's a bunch of Pistashions after us.

Oh, I know. I sent them.

[Buford] Oh, no, we're surrounded.

Wait a minute. Who are you?

Let me set the stage for you kids.

Imagine a young plant who wanted nothing more than to impress his father.

[yelling]

But he was knocked off a time limo and set adrift in the time stream, until he landed in 1955.

His father had always told his kids...

Now, if you get separated what do we do?

[all] Find an adult, impersonate them and take over the world.

[King Pistashion] So, naturally my first step was to infiltrate Balsawood Studios as a low-level intern.

And with that disguise, I was soon able to replace the great Orton Mahlson himself.

Which would put me in charge of the Doctor Zone empire.

Uh, what's Dr. Zone?

[sighs in exasperation]

♪ If you're looking for a good Show, watch Dr. Zone ♪ No? Nothing?

[sighs]

Apparently, I was better at stealing identities than running a TV show.

It was canceled after two episodes and no one even remembers it anymore.

And this mask is so uncomfortable.

[straining]

Pardon me, I've been wearing this mask for 50 years.

[yells]

Oops, probably should have taken it off when I was sleeping. [chuckles]

I do like the chin though.

So, I spent the last 50 years building mask factories and replacing Danville citizens with my own Pistashion army.

And at 4.30 today my master plan will...

Oh, where'd they go?

Ugh, too much exposition.

Yeah, that's probably why your show was canceled.

-After them! -[growling]

OMG! That was totally embarrassing, sorry.

Hey everybody, we're back. And I've got the clock.

Ah, cool. Give me.

This is an historic moment, Dakota.

Who knew the first time machine would also be a taco stand?

Yeah, you know, you said it looked like a taco before, it got me thinking... It's not too much, is it?

Not as long as you can take us back in time, to 1965.

And get Orton his show back.

And defeat the Pistashions and save the world...

Yeah, no pressure.

-I'm gonna go back to talking to the dog. -[doorbell rings]

Just a minute.

-[growling] -[shrieks]

Sorry, I'm in the shower. Come back later.

Egads!

Go, go, go, everyone into the time machine.

Quick! Start it. Let's get out of here.

What does it look like I'm doing, making chalupas?

Although this is the same machine I use to make chalupas, so I understand the confusion.

Go. I'll lead them away.

Hey, over here nut-jobbers.

"Nut-jobbers"?

Well, it does kind of describe us, but it's still rude.

Now, that was cool.

Maybe that's the kind of hero Dr. Zone should be.

[snarling]

[growling]

[exclaiming]

[chuckling]

Mm?

[groans]

[Cavendish] I was afraid of this.

We only have enough time juice to get into the time stream, but not out.

An old bunch of floating clocks.

[Dakota] Yeah, time's screwy in here.

Sometimes you're in the stream at a point before I put the clocks in it.

I don't know how that works.

So what does this mean?

Without juice from those clocks, we'll be stuck here forever.

"Forever"? Now I really regret not putting a bathroom on this thing.

Plus, all I serve is Mexican food, so you do the math.

Oh, no! End of the line. [grunts]

Is it okay if I start squealing in fear again?

[video game beeping]

Oh, hi guys.

[screaming]

You do not know her, she can be very intimidating.

Candace, what are you doing here?

I'm playing Ducky Mogo.

[video game beeping]

Yeah, yeah! I got the chartreuse one.

Why, what are you guys doing?

Uh, running from those guys.

-[growling] -[screams]

-What are those? -Don't worry, I got a plan.

Here, we offer our nerd, in sacrifice.

Buford!

[growling]

[screaming]

Looks like it's time to whack some weeds.

Well, somebody's chatty.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to say that?

No, by all means.

It's just that it's been a long time.

Yes. Yes it has.

[snarling]

Hey guys, need a hand?

Oh, I get it, it's an actual hand.

We got it, Buford.

I never thought I'd be glad to see one of your big crazy contraptions.

We have you surrounded, meat bags.

"Meat bags"?

Well, it does kind of describe us, but it's just rude.

-[Phineas] Service... -[screaming]

Now, this is gonna make a racket.

[Buford] "Racket," I get it. Using an actual...

[Baljit] We get it, Buford.

Who are you guys?

That's Candace, Buford and Baljit.

I'm Phineas and this is Ferb.

Well, I'm Melissa and this is Zack.

And why do you have a giant tennis racket machine?

[Phineas] We'll be working to build another one and play tennis from opposite sides of the city.

-Oh, hold on. -[screams]

But then, hello, Pistashion monsters. [chuckles] How weird is that?

Only slightly weirder than a giant tennis racket machine.

This could help us storm the compound.

Half the city is locked up back there.

[Phineas] Don't worry, Ferb and I have been working on some pretty cool stuff back at our hideout.

We'll grab some gear and mount an offensive.

-[alarm ringing] -That's weird.

Both the primary and backup hydraulics are out.

And that never happens.

-[robot powering down] -[all groaning]

What are the odds?

-Hi guys! -Better than you think.

There he is. Cool-looking robot thing.

Who are your new friends?

I'm Phineas and this is Ferb.

Milo Murphy, nice to meet you.

This is Candace, Buford, Baljit.

Oh, hi guys. Sorry about your machine breaking down.

I don't think you had anything to do with it.

Well, stuff like that happens around me. I'm a Murphy.

[rumbling]

-Murphy's Law? -Bingo.

Warthog, waxwing, weasel, weaver, weaver finch, wildebeest, yak, yellow jacket and zebra.

And those are all the animals in the African Savannah section of the zoo.

Now, on to the rainforest section.

-I think it's the agouti, the anaconda... -[Cavendish groans]

Oh, will you please be quiet!

Well, you won't let me sing the zoo song, and I gotta do something to pass the time...

But that's just it. We're in the time stream.

Time doesn't pass.

So how come we got these beards?

-Because he made us wear them. -[Dakota] Oh, that's right.

I was trying to lighten the mood, and nobody wanted to wear the funny glasses.

I've already got glasses.

I don't know what everyone is so gripe-y about.

Perry the platypus and I are having a grand old time playing Go Fish with hot-sauce packets.

So, you got any hot-sauce packets?

[growling]

Yes, yes, I do have a hot-sauce packet. There you go.

I'd deal you guys in, but we've only got the one hot-sauce packet.

[groans] We will be here for all of eternity, if we don't get our hands on some time juice.

[Dakota] Hang on kid, I got you.

Hey it's us, from earlier.

[grunting]

It's when I clobbered that guy and put all the clocks in the time stream.

[gasps] We've got to grab those clocks and get that time juice!

Just grab one. That one, that one...

-I can't reach! I'm trying. -...or that one!

We're too far away. And they're getting further.

Wait, I got an idea. Somebody give me a leg up.

-Get up there, get up there. -I'm going, I'm going.

Be careful.

[grunting]

Be careful. Hurry!

"Careful," or "hurry," choose one.

Hurry!

[yelling]

Got it!

-[screams] -[splotch]

Oh, man!

-There you go. -[ticking]

And we're here. 1965.

Wait a moment. Why are we at the Wyattburp soda factory?

I told you, I wanted some orange soda.

Don't worry. The TV studio is right around the corner.

This is a day later than we were sh**ting for.

We've lost the element of surprise.

[stammers] I, you know, I can't pinpoint a specific date, I didn't have room.

-What do you mean? -Year, month, cup-holder.

I needed a cup-holder there.

And yet you had room for false beards?

What kind of a scientist are you?

All right, anyone who built a time machine today raise your hand.

Yeah, I thought so.

You get what you get, and you don't get upset.

Okay, with any luck we will get there right before Evil Orton takes over the studio.

[Dakota] Looks like we're a little late to the party.

Hey, look, they're over there now.

Get them!

And now, they see us.

[yelps]

[Melissa] So, where are we?

[Phineas] This is one of our satellite workshops.

Not the one that's an actual satellite.

We've been working here since the Pistashions started taking over.

If we're gonna defeat those nut-jobbers, it's gonna start here.

Wow, this is pretty neat. What's this for?

We find that this set-up helps us think.

What's this?

This little beaut is a neutron disrupter.

But I don't think it'll work on plants.

How are you at building safety gear?

[screams]

-[car honking] -[cat screeching]

[car alarm blaring]

Uh, well, maybe Milo isn't the best guy to have around since we have to, you know, save humanity? No offense.

None taken. That's a good point.

I cannot believe that Milo's mere presence can affect the probability of events around him.

That violates every known law of physics.

What about Murphy's Law?

Nobody's really studied Murphy's Law.

Maybe, if we analyze it, we could use it to our advantage.

You mean weaponize it?

I think the simpler thing would be to ditch the kid who makes bad things happen.

No, Candace. We need all the soldiers we can get.

But there's gotta be a work-around for this Murphy's Law effect.

Well, what do you usually do when things go wrong?

We have no frame of reference for that.

Well, I do. All you need is a little persistence.

It's like my dad always says, when life crushes your lemons, stitch the rinds together to make a helmet.

Mm. Lemony-fresh.

Don't even worry about it. Cavendish and Dakota are probably back in 1965, easily defeating those Pistashion monsters as we speak.

Looks like we lost them.

Where the juice is Doofenshmirtz?

How long does it take to get some orange soda?

Well, this is the 1960s, life had a slower pace.

[screaming] It's a trap! It's a trap!

Run! Run! Run!

Uh-oh... Like we're running again.

[growling]

[grunts]

[sighs] You know, sometimes, it's not even worth getting out of the garden each morning.

Way, to bring down the room, Sean.

Okay, look, everybody. A lot of gear got smashed in that Murphy's Law incident.

If we're gonna have any chance of rescuing our parents and our friends, we're gonna have to rebuild.

So, everybody grab a station, and start working.

[upbeat music playing]

[yodeling]

Listen, Milo. I have nothing against you and I know Phineas wants to include everybody.

But don't you think, it'd be best if we removed you from this rescue mission?

So that everything that can go wrong, doesn't?

Well, I guess that is a good point.

Let's find you a good place to hide out while they're trying to fix things.

Hey, where is she taking Milo?

That is weird.

Wait a minute. What do we really know about her?

She could be a Pistashion spy!

Of course, how did we not see it? No human being has a neck that long.

Come on, we've gotta go save Milo.

Hey, where are those two going?

Called it! They're a couple.

[humans screaming]

Argh! Get off me! Now is not a good time!

Listen, Milo. What I'm trying to say is, you hanging around with us is not going to help stop these plant guys.

Ooh, thanks. I just got my hair done.

And also, it isn't gonna help us save our parents from that plant prison in Lard World.

[growling]

[groans]

Oh, thanks. I didn't see that coming.

'Cause we're already up against impossible odds without all the chaos that surrounds you.

[growls]

[tires screeching]

Hey, sometimes Murphy's Law can be totally helpful.

Okay, maybe not totally.

Look, I was right!

Candace is a Pistashion, and she's trying to get Milo!

Let go of him, scrub-head.

-Yeah, what she said! -Ow!

How come this mask won't come off?

Because it's my face!

Stop, guys! She's not a plant.

Really? With that neck?

What's wrong with my neck?

Oops, sorry. Honest mistake.

I would've never tackled you if I knew you were human.

You should be ashamed.

Ow!

Look, we shouldn't be fighting each other.

He's right. We need to work together.

Even if some of us mess things up, sometimes.

Sorry. I was talking about me.

We need this guy around. Come on!

[car honks]

[crash]

[alarm blaring]

[Milo] My bad!

[Candace] We still need him.

So, how far back should we go, 15 minutes?

No, it's year, month, cup-holder.

Fine, then. One month.

But that Pistashion had already been there for ten years.

But we don't wanna go back too far.

We'd... We'd have to get jobs and apartments.

We can all live together like a '70s sitcom.

In the '50s.

[announcer] Four Men and a Platypus is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

But I digress.

Hey, who wants orange soda?

[all exclaiming]

Uh, sorry. This is like another sitcom.

[announcer] That Darn Doof.

And that's why we use a cup-holder.

[all screaming]

[exclaims] I'm gonna hit the emergency escape button.

[Doofenshmirtz screams] We're in mid-air!

We're going to hit that island.

[all screaming]

[all groaning]

Well, that was extraordinarily...

[all grunting]

All right, we're back in the present. But where are we?

This is your fault.

Now, we're stranded here.

Hm, stranded on a desert island, now, that's a sitcom.

[announcer] Doof Island was filmed in front...

No, no!

You've ruined everything!

You were supposed to be this genius who was going to save us.

But no! "I want orange soda!

"I don't want to put a day setting on my time machine because I want a cup-holder!"

Is that supposed to be me?

Yeah, that's you. Your voice is really annoying.

You are the biggest disappointment since...

Well, since, him!

Wait. What did I do?

Look, I don't know how time travel is supposed to work.

When I hit that escape button, I was pretty sure we would just explode.

You're the one who says I'm some time-travel hero in the future.

This is on you, buddy!

And let me tell you, I know when I'm not wanted.

Is it... Is it now?

It's now, right?

Fine!

Okay, now that's environment.

No wonder they banned this stuff.

Oh, it's you.

Come to mock the great Professor Time, Dr. Zone?

Oh, hardly. I know exactly how you feel, actually.

It's strange knowing that you were destined to do something great.

With no idea how to do it...

Oh, look! A ukulele.

Oh, so you're just gonna play a... Okay.

♪ They say I'm gonna Have a big hit show ♪

♪ With a legion of super-fans ♪

♪ Or be an icon on the modern television ♪

♪ Sure, writing was my goal ♪

♪ But I'll be honest, I was making back-up plans ♪

♪ 'Cause they say write what you know ♪

♪ But all I knew was the Zoning commission ♪

♪ And it should be nice to know ♪

♪ That everything will work out fine ♪

♪ And I'm gonna be a national treasure ♪ Apparently.

♪ But now, there's all these Expectations that I'll just ♪

♪ I'll have to realign ♪

♪ And there's a future self Up to which I have to measure ♪

♪ It's just a lot of pressure ♪ Yeah, yeah. You know, you think you've got it bad?

You got nothing on me, buddy.

Listen.

♪ So apparently I'm gonna be the one Who'll finally figure out time travel ♪

♪ Now, that's a ton of Scientific mysteries ♪

♪ That I'll have to somehow unravel ♪

♪ They'll call me Professor Time ♪

♪ There'll be statues of me On every square ♪

♪ So no matter where I go ♪

♪ Oh look I'm already there ♪ Is that what I look like from this angle?

Hmm.

♪ And it should be nice to know that Everything will work out fine ♪

♪ And I'm gonna be A national treasure ♪

♪ But now there's all these Expectations that I'll just ♪

♪ Have to realign ♪

♪ And there's this future self Up to which I have to measure ♪ Oy-vey!

♪ It's just a lot of pressure ♪

♪ Yo, yo and who knew we'd be essential ♪

♪ That we'd have so much potential ♪

♪ We could be so influential, Our actions consequential ♪

♪ Without any real credentials I can tell you confidentially ♪

♪ That you and me might have the quality To achieve a high degree of notoriety ♪

♪ Yes, our names on the Marquee of high society ♪

♪ And I know now We seem like idiots ♪

♪ But in the nitty-gritty It's so fortunate we're witty ♪

♪ It's gonna make us giddy And we're someday sitting pretty ♪

♪ But we should be working steady ♪

♪ Getting sweaty to get ready For a future that's so heady ♪

♪ It's a daunting proposition To be in this position ♪

♪ Where we heard this premonition Of our future self's condition ♪

♪ So I'll make this one admission though The b*at is never slowing... ♪ I... I forgot where I was going with this.

[whispers] "It's a lot of pressure."

Oh, yeah.

♪ It's just a lot of pressure ♪

Apparently, the locals are not music fans.

Where the devil did they wander off to?

We need to find a way off this island.

Uh-oh.

Uh... Wrong way!

Go, go, go, go.

Uh, look a caterpillar.

Really, where?


Ooh! Look, that cloud looks like a horse, you see it?

What the devil are...

What the...

How could there be another you?

And another and another and another.

Dozens of you!

I'm getting to the bottom of this.

Cavendish, wait... Oh! Fertilize me.

[Candace] Guys, I was wrong about Milo.

He's resourceful. We need him.

I saw Murphy's Law defeat a Pistashion.

We need to figure out how to use it to our advantage.

All right, I will set up some tasks.

[crash]

♪ You can analyze probability ♪

♪ Or organize a form of inquiry ♪

♪ You can hook me up And scan my alpha waves ♪

♪ You can ionize me, hypnotize me ♪

♪ Oxidize or digitize me ♪

♪ See how this phenomenon behaves ♪

-♪ Everybody look right ♪ -♪ Here I am ♪

-♪ Everybody look left ♪ -♪ There goes my jam ♪

♪ You know I'm standing right here and Still the cause is not quite clear ♪

♪ How does it happen ♪

♪ I'd just like to address ♪

♪ Some questions about process ♪

♪ Listen closely While we go through it ♪

♪ How does it happen ♪

♪ Guess there's something That we've missed ♪

♪ Some chemical catalyst ♪

♪ Got to be some science to it ♪

♪ People wanna know, How do I do it ♪ Well, I certainly hope all of this destruction was helpful.

The data shows that Murphy's Law is much more of a force of nature than we thought previously.

Like, gravity, a universal constant.

And I can back that up. I did tons of research and calculations, trying to understand Murphy's Law.

Research? Calculation?

Ha-cha-cha!

-Sorry, dude. -We're not a couple!

In any case, if my calculations are correct.

The force of Murphy's Law is in direct opposition to what I would now like to call, "the Phineas and Ferb effect."

Say what, now?

You mean, Phineas and Ferb have an effect on probabilities like Milo?

Exactly, just like Milo.

Their presence in a location seems to skew energy fields, affecting probability.

Milo towards things going wrong.

And Phineas and Ferb towards everything working out.

So, I have an idea. Allow me to explain.

[typing]

These are the negative probability ions emanating from Milo.

And these are the positive probability ions emanating from Phineas and Ferb.

So, here's what I find interesting.

Negative and positive probability ions cannot occupy the same space.

So, if we surround Milo with Phineas and Ferb, we can push the negative ions in a desired direction.

You mean, we can aim Murphy's Law?

Exactly.

What did I tell ya? Weaponizing.

Montage time!

[upbeat music playing]

Presenting the Murphy's Law suit.

[Phineas] All right, here goes nothing.

[Milo] Fire away!

[all cheering]

What the deuce is going on here?

[Dakota] Well, I'm no expert, but from the looks of it I'd say, several hundred me's are making orange soda.

I demand an explanation.

Yeah, well, it's a... it's a funny story. You're gonna laugh.

-Probably not. -You're gonna laugh.

[stuttering] You d*ed a couple of hundred times.

And each time, I'd change the time stream to come back and save you.

And each time that has created another Dakota. And since there's...

There's only supposed to be one of us in any one timeline, the extras had to go somewhere, so...

We found this island.

Look, it's Cavendish!

Cavendish, wow! Is it really him?

[Dakotas exclaiming and chattering]

Hey, check out my tattoo of your hat.

Try some orange soda.

You... You really sacrificed yourself hundreds of times for me?

Yeah, what are you gonna do? You're Cavendish.

[grunts] My dear Dakotas, I want to thank you for what you all have done.

[all] What are you gonna do?

Now, ahem, has anyone seen Professor Time?

Present and accounted for.

[laughs] Come on, guys. Joke's over. Let him go.

[grunts]

Hey, it's my orange soda. Where'd you get this?

That's how we run our economy. We manufacture lace-less shoes and this.

It's been banned in most of the free world, but we export it, what?

Wait, doesn't that destroy the environment?

Yeah, I'm not the environment.

Great, bring me all you got.

We're gonna need a lot of cup-holders.

Well, the suit-test was a success. Let's gear up, and we can storm the compound.

Time to exterminate some garden pests.

[growling]

Quick, get to the robot.

Oh, no!

Ah, maybe I shouldn't have been live-streaming this.

Well, this stinks like yesterday's shorts.

Wait a second. Why haven't they replaced us with plant replicas?

Oh, we don't need to do that anymore.

You're going to be mulched.

[in sing-song] Bam-bum-bum.

We're on in five, people.

And five, four, three, two...

Hello, humankind. It's time.

Time for a change.

No longer will we be wearing silly rubber masks.

Prepare to fall before my MULCH machine!

Which stands for, "Machine Used for Literally Converting Humans..."

To plants.

What about those last two letters?

Yeah, shouldn't it be "Mulch-te-pah"?

[shouting] The "T-P" is silent!

Wait! You don't have to turn us into plants.

There's gotta be a way we can coexist.

I mean, haven't you seen the bumper stickers?

Yeah, I promise, I'll never eat at a salad bar ever again.

You never do, anyway. Yeah, but they didn't know that till now, Mr. Blabby McMouthinson.

That is not my name.

Let everybody go!

And we'll, you know figure something out, together.

Start with him.

Uh, sir, we're gonna need another minute.

We had to switch over to the HDMI cables when we sh*t that video.

But now, we're gonna need to hook up a...

Oh, for plant's sake. Okay.

In five minutes, you're all plants.

We will stop you!

Oh, yeah? You and what army?

That army!

Whoo-hoo!

So, here's what I figured out.

I'm not the environment, but you are!

See? See, because you're plants, our orange soda repels you.

The power of Monsanto repels you!

The power of... [stutters]

It's too long for a catchphrase.

No, cut! This is all wrong.

Whatcha doin'...

All tied up like this?

Isabella! Oh, I'm glad to see you.

Get them!

[all shouting]

[screaming]

[growling]

Hey, don't do that.

I don't have the time machine to go back and un-die you.

And if you get hurt, I don't have one, either.

Oh, that was touching.

Don't mess with Dr. Zone.

[Orton] Who's Dr. Zone? I'm not Dr. Zone.

Murphy's friends? What are you doing here? Where's Milo?

He got separated in all the confusion.

[growling]

You! You humans, there! Well, you haven't won.

In fact, your doom is at hand.

A really big hand.

[snarling]

[all screaming]

Yes, crush them. Crush them!

Hm?

Hmm...

[stuttering] What have I become?

What? So much fighting...

What are you doing?

Hurting people. [stammers] What is happening?

Have I been chained up underground for so long, I've forgotten compassion?

Huh? What are you...

I've gotta make up for this. Go up from here.

Walk the land. Help people.

Fine, go. Who needs you? We're gonna win this without you.

You ingrate! At least I still have these humans here to...

And they're gone too.

Great. Real great.

Fire the machine!

Yeah, yeah, three minutes, tops. There's an adapter we needed.

[Isabella] Hey, Phineas. Whatcha doin'...

Without your super-suit?

[Phineas] Oh, thanks, Isabella.

-[Milo] Look out! -[growling]

Oh, hey, Perry.

That's my pet platypus. He doesn't do much.

Thanks, Diogee.

Aren't pets great?

Woof!

Time for some Murphy's Law and order.

That's what I'm talking about.

Nice.

[growling]

Eat probability, nut-jobbers.

[screaming]

-[Milo] Whoo-hoo! -[laughs] Yes!

[screaming]

Look out, Cavendish! Not that way!

-Guys! -Just need to jiggle this wire.

Let's go. Showtime!

Blast them!

[screaming]

[laughs] Yes! Yes! It's working! Next!

[growling]

[Milo] There's the MULCH-er.

Here we go... Oh!

What was that?

-[alarm beeping] -The power-pack's been breached.

Quick, turn the head around.

Whoops! That's a little too much Murphy's Law.

Boy, what do you think, Ferb?

What do we do now? We don't have an extra power supply to fix this.

No, we can think of something. It's like you told us.

When life crushes your lemons...

That's it!

The acid in a lemon can act as a battery and power up the suit.

Okay, but we'll need a lot more juice than one lemon.

I have a whole bag of 'em.

Better. But we would need like, over a hundred thousand...

How about this radioactive watermelon?

Huh!

Yeah, that works.

Ferb, lock it in.

Hey, could you guys use a blowtorch and some peanut butter?

How can we not have met before today?

You'll never stop me!

[laughing evilly]

When life crushes your lemons...

Use a radioactive watermelon to recharge your exo-suit.

[groaning]

You think you've beaten me?

Your family and friends are now mine!

Plants, forever!

-[Milo] My parents, Sara! -[Phineas] Isabella, too.

I can't fire at them. Please, everyone, it's us. Please, stop!

[grunts]

Ferb, disconnect the arm.

Incoming.

Time to bail!

Milo, Grab my hand!

Hey, it's the delivery kid.

Hey, look, it's Vanessa's dad. You remember him.

Milo, look out.

[screams]

Thanks, Orton.

No! This is a dead end. Go back down.

[Phineas] We can't!

We're cut off. And they're coming.

Looks like we're out of time.

No, I am Professor Time.

And we are not out of time until I say so.

-But... -Not now, Dakota. He's having a moment.

And the day may come, that we fall.

But today is not that day.

I believe in you.

This is gonna be great in my memoirs.

I would read that.

[gasps] Oh, that's it.

I've got it! All I have to do, is remember to...

Ah! Hey, look! I remembered.

[Orton] It's you, from the future.

But... But how did you know to come...

I read about it in your memoir.

Well, I'm certainly writing that down.

[gasps] Professor Time!

Hey, long time no see, Cavendish.

[squeals] He knows my name!

Another time machine?

Well, that's impossible.

Come on, it's time for you and me to live up to our destiny.

Time for danger!

Time for action!

Time for Dr. Zone!

Oh, in 50 years, you gotta give this letter to Melissa and Zack, last week.

It'll make sense later.

What? No, stop!

Yes. I can continue my father's work here, in the past, starting a 50-year plan to replace every human with plants and rubber masks.

[Orton] You're the Pistashion that started all of this.

Time is not on your side!

Yeah, have some orange soda. On the house!

[grunts] No. Can't be.

It was working. We had won!

How could it all go so wrong?

That's Murphy's Law for ya.

[screams]

Freedom!

There you go, sir. You have a wonderful day, now. Oh, what in the...

Wait a minute. Why am I still part plant?

Orton! And Professor Time!

They did it! They must've made it back to 1955, and stopped it all before it started.

Thank you, Dr. Zone.

And, thank you, Professor Time.

Oh, yeah and thank me, too.

Ah, well, we won another one, partner.

Although, I'm not sure Mr. Block is gonna see it that way.

But... But I'm still part plant.

Unauthorized time travel. Changing the space-time continuum.

Hundreds of rogue Dakotas.

We're going to be in serious trouble, aren't we?

-Yeah, you guys... -[all talking indistinctly]

Well, I think that went pretty well.

My building!

[groans]

Can I crash on your couch?

Remember Time Ape, persevere and seize the day.

And I'll see you all, in the future.

[all cheering]

[Milo] You know, it's always great when you get to help create the show you've loved all your life.

What do you mean, "always"? That never happens.

When in the history of the universe, other than this time, has that ever happened?

Nice to meet you guys.

And remember, we're just on the other side of town.

So, feel free to crossover, any time.

We will. See you soon.

[Professor Time] Hey, ah, where do you guys keep the extra toilet paper?

I'm asking for a friend.

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I'm not sitting here Watching the world turn ♪

♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪
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