02x12 - Abducting Murphy's Law

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky ♪

♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly ♪

♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree ♪

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be ♪

♪ Whoa

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪

[metal slicing sounds]

Sigh.

Penny for my thoughts?

That's not how that works.

I'm supposed to ask you that.

You know, I try and I try, but I still can't believe we went from saving the world to, well, to this.

To spending hours cleaning alien rubbish out of dirty parking lots.

[cell phone beeping]

[Mr. Block] Sorry, boys.

Looks like there was some mix-up with your mission memo.

Turns out, it's not alien trash at all.

You've just been cleaning up regular trash all day.

We'll get you back on alien trash tomorrow.

Next week, tops.

Toodles!

You know, I thought this smelled kinda human-y.

-[shouting] That's it! I've had it! -[clangs]

I am destined for far more than this.

Well I am destined for lunch.

And I think it's high time I lived up to my potential.

Where is your ambition, man?

Or did you eat that too?

All right, fine! Penny for my thoughts now.

You keep gunning for a job that doesn't exist.

The aliens that we've met are litter-bugs, not evil tyrants bent on world domination.

There are no nut-jobbers here to fight.

The world is not currently threatened.

And you can't get promoted to

"Guy who saves the world" anyway.

That's not... That's not a job title!

-Egg salad? -No.

Think I've lost my appetite.

-Cavendish? -Scott.

Dead rat for your thoughts.

No, thank you.

Just drowning in the empty cup that I've been dealt.

Well, remember.

"Loss can lead to new adventures."

Yes, I... Wait. What did you say?

"Loss can lead to new adventures"?

Chips and kidney pie! You're right!

[giggles] How simple and yet so insightful.

You know, people don't give you enough credit because you live underground and you're, well, filthy.

But, you are wise beyond your social strata.

Thanks!

'Scuse, me. Do you have the time?

"Loss can lead to new adventures."

Huh. Okay.

♪ Loss can lead to new adventures! ♪ He's right!

I have got to stop sulking. But how?

[gasps] Great chubby-wonkers!

An alien abduction!

[shouting] Dakota! Dakota!

[excitedly] Did you see? Did you see it?

-Did I see what? -The world is threatened.

There was an alien abduction.

-I must've missed it. -This is it, Dakota!

-Don't you see? -I didn't.

I just said, I did not see...

People are being abducted.

[excitedly] The world is being threatened.

[laughing] We can save the world again. We'll get promoted!

-Ooh! -We have to tell Block.

Whoa! Well I'm not sure I should be running.

I just had all that egg salad!

[door bell ringing]

Oh! It's you. Milo's friends.

[sarcastically] Who don't get paid to hang out with him.

Unlike a certain platypus who shall remain nameless.

Perry the Platypus.

[nervous chuckle] Um. Hi, Dr. D.

Is Milo around?

I think he's upstairs.

[unenthusiastically] Come in, I guess.

[uncomfortably] Oh-kay?

[both knocking] Can Milo come out and play?

[Milo] I will be right down, friends.

Okay. We'll be hangin' with Dr. D.

Sounds like a TV show.

♪ Hangin' with Dr. D! ♪

[hesitatingly] So. Do you have any new Do-good-inators you'd like to show us, maybe?

-Why? -[whispers] I was bored!

[whispers] We were safe!

Well, I might have one or two I've been working on.

Oh! Hey, Milo.

That's my name.

Do not wear it out.

[uncomfortably] Oh-kay.

Uh, Dr. D was just about to show us his latest 'inators'.

[sarcastically] 'Cause that's what we all wanted to do, apparently.

That sounds like a great way to spend time.

[remote beeps]

[laser whizzing]

[splats and electricity buzzing]

[laser whizzing]

[splashing]

[metal clanging]

[thuds]

[machine chugging]

[groans] I'm sorry, kids.

My 'inators' aren't working like they used to.

[expl*si*n]

[hesitatingly] Or, actually, I guess exactly how they used to.

Which is... You know, the problem.

-What a loser. -Whoa, Milo.

You feelin' okay?

I'm perfectly normal and definitely myself.

You loser.

What about this one?

What about, not?

-[sighs] Yeah, maybe there's one more. -[thuds]

See, I just move this thing here like this, -[laser whizzing] -and it just... I don't know what it does.

-But I'm doing it now. -[shattering]

Oopsies!

[both] Milo!

Milo?

Guys, I am so sorry.

I knew getting out my 'inators' was a bad idea.

Almost always is.

[frantically] Where is he? Milo!

-Milo! -[Milo] That's my name.

[short circuiting] Don't we... Don't we...

Milo?

[grunts]

-[all screaming] -[electricity buzzing]

[Milo] Loser. Loser.

Loser.

Well, I definitely didn't do that.

[Brigette] Milo!

[frantically] Oh, jeez! Quick! Give me the head.

Whoa! Everybody all right?

[Brigette] What happened?

[hesitatingly] Um... Murphy's Law?

That's my name.

Don't wear it out.

[sighs] I'll call the insurance company.

You kids have fun with your debris.

What a loser.

So, wait a minute. Has Milo always been a robot?

-I like cheese fries. -[shattering]

Milo's not a robot. This isn't Milo.

But, he does like cheese fries. So...

Zack! Someone didn't want us to know Milo was gone.

[sighs] Milo's missing. Again!

Wait. Is this something that happens often?

At least once a season, apparently.

I mean, it happened this past fall.

And now it's happening here in the winter.

All right, 'inator' man.

If that thing can talk, maybe it can answer a few questions.

Get re-wiring.

I can do that. I can do that!

[Block] Look. All alien ships that enter Earth's atmosphere are required to notify us when they're abducting people.

I would certainly know of any unauthorized abductions

-before the two of you would. -But... But, sir!

Dakota, did you see this

"abduction"?

I was actually eating at the time.

Was it something so large it covered your eyes?

[hesitatingly] No, no. I was like 20 feet away, but if he says he saw--

Cavendish, maybe you're just working too hard and seeing things.

[sighs] Why don't you take the afternoon off?

But, sir!

What about the poor unknown person who was abducted? Who's going to help him?

[chuckles] Not you.

But, only because there was no abduction.

Toodles!

Yes, sir!

Come with me.

I need to look like I'm going somewhere.

[bells jingling]

Ah, you know. What does he know?

He's... He's just a boss person with, you know, meetings, memos, and one of those little putting greens in his office, -I assume. What? -Maybe, you're right.

Maybe we don't need his permission.

Wait, wait, wait. No, I did not say that.

-Yes! -No, no.

[stammering] Whatever I said that motivated you to put our jobs at risk, I take it back, right now.

-Backsies. -Too late!

Okay. I take back everything I've said since we met!

[beeping]

Can you hear us?

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

And where's our friend?

Which question would you like me to answer first, loser?

Wait, wait. Hold on a second. Let me turn the sass down.

[grunts] There you go.

Robot Milo, where is Milo, Milo?

Abducted.

Who took him?

Aliens.

Ready, boy? Go fetch!

Well. This is a new one.

[screaming] Whoa!

That's not Murphy's Law!

[whizzing stops]

But, that is. [screaming]

Oh, yes!

Oh, no.

Oh. Uh, hello.

[voice shaking] Uh, welcome to Earth!

Egg salad?

Aliens?

Yes. I am an organic android grown from a tissue sample of Milo's unique DNA.

I was substituted to delay your discovery that Milo had been abducted by aliens.

Where are they taking him?

What are their plans?

[sarcastically] Oh, sure.

Like they are going to share that information with an android.

[electricity buzzing]

Ma'am, do you think it's wise bringing him aboard?

We have no choice here. He's the one.

Uh, ma'am, Are you sure?

Considering what happened with the ship

-on the re-con mission-- -[groans]

Why did this company stick me with

-such a cowardly crew? -[tearing]

That better not be one of my throw pillows.

So, what's this about?

What can I help you with?

[shouting] And hey, where's my backpack?

Backpack will be just fine.

Provided you cooperate.

What exactly do you need from me?

You are here as our [buzzing] meal.

[shouts] What? You're gonna eat me?

No, no, no. What I meant to say is, you are [buzzing] the buffet.

The negative probability ions are causing the translation device to malfunction.

What I'm trying to say is that you are [buzzing] delicious.

[screaming] [buzzing] Appetizing.

[buzzing] Scrumptious! [screaming]

No, no. The Commander is trying to say that you're the [buzzing] white meats, the dark meats, the neck, and the gibblets.

[screaming]

[alarm blaring]

[frantically] This is what we warned you about, ma'am.

He's [buzzing] calories!

[hesitatingly] I mean. [buzzing] Dibs on the feet!

-[screaming] -[shattering and alarm blaring]

[screaming] I'm so hungry!

[shouting] Yum, yum, yum! Tasty!

[shouting] Fried!

Put it on a stick!

[short circuiting]

The human ran off!

Oh. Now the translator works.

[Cavendish] Look. I'm telling you I saw that abduction and I will track down that ship.

But, I can't seem to find even one entry for a ship like the one that I saw.

You said it was like, wearing a jacket or a coat, or something?

[laughs] Cloak? Right! Yes! Cloaking technology.

I wonder maybe, if it doesn't even show up on their radar, at all.

Maybe, I suppose.

But, are you really positive you saw what you saw?

I mean, we were out in the sun. You got all worked up.

Of course, I am sure that I saw what I saw.

None of this is helping.

We need to take action!

Not conduct research.

Wait. What kind of action?

Cavendish, are you just gonna keep running away from me without explaining what you're doing, all day?

'Cause it seems a lot like calisthenics.

Just so you know, this isn't my running tracksuit.

This is my eating tracksuit.

Okay. He's hiding somewhere in the ship's vents.

But, our sensors are still malfunctioning so we can't pinpoint him.

Oh, man. He'll destroy the ship from within.

I think this was his plan all along!

I heard humans can spit acid that can burn through the hall.

Enough! That is nonsense.

Now, we're just gonna have to send you brave men into the vents to find him.

Capture him alive!

Report in.

This is Cone near Core Extraction.

This is Beek reporting near Life Support.

[Alien 1] This is Mantle reporting in from Gravity Control.

This is Lowe reporting in from Engineering Section.

Uh, sir, there's a lot of tunnels here and, uh...

[Lowe] I'm lost.

-[Beek] Yeah! Me too! -[Cone] Why are there so many vents?

[Bleek whining] And they all look the same!

[alarm beeping]

Lowe. The power systems are malfunctioning.

He must be in your section.

I can't get a reading. My scanner's not working.

[gasps]

He was here.

I don't know where he went.

He's right there. Behind you.

[electricity buzzing]

-[Lowe] That was him. -[radio static]

I'm running but the...

-[radio static] -No escape.

-[radio static] -Cut me to pieces.

-[radio static] -[screaming and radio static]

Well, it used to be a shenanigans tracker, or a Shenanigan-ator.

But I've rigged it into a negative probability ions tracker.

That means Milo and his Murphy's Law should set it off.

Okay, but wait. Doesn't stuff just go wrong around you too?

Yeah. Won't that throw it off?

Well, actually, the stuff that goes wrong around me is different.

[hesitatingly] It's caused by my...

Stupidity?

Incompetence?

[sighs] I was gonna say poor planning, but thank you for that.

[machine clanging]

[barking]

Ooh! It looks like it's working already.

And according to these Murphy's Law readings Milo should be walking right through that door

-right-- -[chuckles] Hi, kids, I.

[all booing]

All right, then. You can get your own snacks.

[door slams]

[whining] No, no! We'd love some snacks!

Okay. So, wrong Murphy.

Maybe I can't do this after all.

No, no. You can do it.

You're a great inventor.

You made us float upside down, you turned apples into ice cream, and most importantly, you saved Zack's life.

-Whoa, Whoa. What? -After you turned him inside-out.

[shouting] Wait, what?

And erased his memory of the whole event., and the point is, you Milo-d up and now we need to do it again.

I appreciate that, but in order to make it more specific, I would have to have a sample of Milo's DNA.

[gasps] Wait a second!

[shouting] You turned me inside-out?

This robot was built using tissue samples of Milo's DNA.

If I connect it to the Shenanigan-ator, it should be able to pinpoint exactly where Milo is.

Well, duh!

Wait. I thought I turned down your sass.

Come on.

What did I look like?

Inside-out? You looked great.

-Really? -No, not really. You were gross.

[Beek on radio] It's moving! It's coming right at me!

[shouting] Beek! Beek! Report!

Oh, no! Ripped to shreds!

[screaming]

Life Support seems to have stabilized for the moment, ma'am.

How could I have been so wrong about this human?

First, Murphy att*cked Lowe, then Mantle, and now he's gotten Beek, too!

What is happening in there?

If I may, ma'am, and please excuse my crude drawings.

This is our best guess.

The human's likely taken him to his newly-constructed web-lair in the vents and feeding him to his hatchlings.

[Cone on radio] Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

I'm still in here.

So, if you wouldn't mind, just go ahead and hit the mute button the next time you guys are gonna do a super-horrifying update on what's going on.

Cone! Get out of there! He's...

[Commander, voice shaking] They're everywhere!

-[beeping] -His hatchlings.

-Cone! Head to the core control room. -[shattering]

-It's straight ahead. Fifty meters from-- -[Cone] Help!

So many... [wails indistinctly]

[screams] Melting!

Spits acid.

[shattering]

[radio static]

Okay. That's enough.

We're going to core control and end this, once and for all.

This is one of my throw pillows.

Let's go!

[chuckles] So, the gentleman came up to me and I clarified, "But I said pistachion, not mustaches on."

[all laughing]

You Brits cr*ck me up.

Crumwell's knickers! Look at the time!

Anyhoo, we just need to you know, empty the rubbish from your impressive armory.

You're not on the list but you did make me laugh so go right ahead.

Mustaches on.

[chuckles] You trash agents are a riot.

[giggling]

I am a naughty boy.

Oh, look! You'll do nicely.

Dakota, look at all of this great gear!

Yeah, yeah. But what are we doing here?

Well, isn't it obvious? We are heroes!

We're going to borrow these weapons and do the right thing.

Rescue that abductee.

Come on, partner. It's up to us.

We have to save the day!

Cavendish, wait. I think maybe we shouldn't be doing this...

-Thing. -Are you kidding?

You're the one who's always wanting to break the rules.

Yeah, but that was when I could go back in time and fix things. We're stuck here now.

We live here now.

And we have to keep our jobs and pay rent.

[gasps] You don't believe me!

I didn't see what you saw, -no, but... -I see how it is.

But I believe that you believe.

Yes, well, that's not the same thing.

That's like saying, "I believe that you're hallucinating."

[shouting] All right, then.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

Cavendish, hey. Hey, man! Just wait.

[shouting] Hey! Hey, Cavendish!

Cheerio!

Hey.

Why is your hilarious partner in such a hurry?

[hesitatingly] Oh, um...

[nervous chuckle]

[hesitatingly] Um, mustaches on?

[rattling]

Don't sh**t! Don't sh**t!

It's us. We're okay.

It's okay, sir. Milo here's been helping us.

-What? -When I was moving through engineering Milo's negative probability ions were affecting the system.

[shouting] Oh, no! It's the emergency bulkhead.

I'm running, but there's no escape.

Any one of these can cut me to pieces.

[screams]

Are you okay?

Also, please don't eat me.

And after Lowe here explained the malfunction in your translators, and that no one was gonna eat me, we moved right along and ran into Mantle.

[screaming]

[screaming]

♪ You're just what I needed ♪

♪ Right about now ♪

♪ I can finally say ♪

♪ After all this time ♪

♪ I see an open door ♪

♪ Right about now ♪

♪ We'll find a way ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪ But, how are you able to deal with all those negative probability ions?

All it takes is a little elbow grease and the right attitude.

But, I am sorry about all the malfunctions.

[alarm blaring]

One of the power conduits fused to our warp engines has melted, ma'am!

These jumper cables might do the trick.

[sings] Ta-da!

[all cheering]

He's even more impressive than we'd observed.

He's the one.

Our only hope.

We need to get Milo Murphy to the other side of the universe.

[sarcastically] Well thanks for the help back there.

And I meant that sarcastically, in case you didn't get that.

I am going rogue.

Do you mean that sarcastically?

Look. I'm sorry I didn't believe you in the way that you wanted me to.

It's too late for all of that, now.

[stammering] Okay, look. We've had our differences and arguments.

But, at the end of the day, we always patch things up.

And then it's Team Davendish, or Team Cavota, or...

No one calls us that.

But, the point is, we work it out. We're a team.

Not this time. Not anymore.

Wait. What's with the memory eraser thing?

It's safer for you if you don't remember what I'm doing.

Good bye, old friend.

-[shouting] No, wait! Cavendish! -[laser whizzing]

Okay. What?

Wait. What happened?

Cavendish?

Cavendish?

So, where we headed?

We are taking you to Octailia.

Our home planet.

[hesitatingly] Well, tonight is a school night.

-I don't think-- -Hey, I'm glad we're all buddies, now but you need to stand away from my console.

Uh-oh! Uh-oh, what?

[all screaming]

It's his negative probability ions.

[shouting] We're headed back to Earth!

[chuckles] Well, that's good news.

[shouting] On a collision course!

That's less-good news.

[shouting] Do something!

Do I look like I'm on vacation?

Maybe I can help.

[shattering]

[shouting] Murphy! No!

That's it! I'm activating the escape pod.

[shouting] No! Not yet!

[machines whirring]

If I can just reach...

Huh. Guess I must've used it all helping those guys fix their ship.

[wheels squeaking]

Follow me!

Milo!

Milo?

[machine whirring and beeping]

Oh, that doesn't make sense.

According to these readings, Milo should be right here where we're standing. No one's standing on there, right?

[barking]

-What is it, boy? -[Milo] Hey, guys!

[shouting] Incoming!

We need to catch him!

We need balloons!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

-[pops] -Oh! That one broke. Hope this is enough.

[frantically] Better be enough!

[shouting] There's no way that's enough!

[screaming]

Huh. I guess that was enough.

And that's how I got here.

[giggles] Any idea what they wanted?

Well, me, for some reason.

At first, I thought they wanted to eat me, Which wasn't true.

But, I got the impression there was something else.

Well, hopefully it's the last time we see those particular aliens.

[laughs] I wouldn't be so sure.

[sighs] Penny for your thoughts?

Oh, hey, Dr. D. I...

I think my best friend just used the memory scrambler and left me.

Really? Well...

I just found out mine was getting paid to hang out with me.

-Ooh. Ouch. -Right?

And today I spent the entire day trying to find Milo 'cause he was missing.

He went missing last season, too.

Last season?

Yeah. In the fall. It was a big hullabaloo.

Pizza roll?

Don't mind if I do.

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I'm not sitting here Watching the world turn ♪

♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪