03x04 - Training Day

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Workin' Moms"...

- What's her actual name?
- Renya.

The subway is...

Is an underground tin
can full of perverts.

- You have been listening.
- Yes!

You're the one who never listens to me!

This place is amazing, Frankie!

The only that's missing
is you next door.

Forrest, you home?! You know
I've always wondered...

- Whaaaaaa!
- Ahhhhhh!

- Noooooooooooo!
- Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

- Oh my God!
- Oh God, Richard,

- I'm so sorry!
- Kate!

- Dad, it's okay, I love her.
- Wait, what?

On your knees, bitch!

- Oh my God!
- Okay, honey. Honey,

honey, honey, it's okay.
It's okay. I'm so sorry.

- I'm so sorry.
- What the HELL, Mom?!

Honey, we talked about
practicing street safety,

right? So your dad and I
could feel comfortable

that you would be okay on the subway.

This is not what I had in mind.

Well, I'm sorry,

but a pervert can strike
anytime, anywhere.

The most intrepid pervert
is a subway pervert.

So lesson learned.

- How long were you in there?
- Awhile.

I'm not a baby. I'm ready now.

No, you're not. Not yet.

You haven't even learned
the d*ck kick yet.

Your greatest w*apon is a swift,

strong kick to the d*ck. Let's try it.

Here? On the street?

KICK ME IN THE d*ck, ALICE!

Everything okay here?

- No!
- Yes!

Do you wanna ride the subway or not?

Fine! But can you att*ck
me inside next time?

Deal.

Is that my suit?

Oh God! It keeps slipping
out of my damn hands.

Damn! It doesn't even make sense.

Did it gain weight? Has
it been eating something?

You look so hot right now.

Okay, look, we gotta talk, okay?

I fear I may have misled you.

- What you said at your dad's...
- That I love you?

Yep. That. Um...

what we've had has been very special.

I agree. No, like I
totally agree with you.

Mm. Um, but I'm not capable
of loving anyone right now,

not even myself.

You sound just like my dad.

After you left, he lectured me forever

about how May/December
romances never work.

May/Decem...? May/July maybe.

He said I have to end things.

He did not like what he saw,
you in your... your...

Yup, no, I know, I know what he saw.

But look, he's right,
Forrest. I'm sorry, but...

there's a big old world for you to see.

You're only 25.

- I'm 22.
- Jesus Christ! Twenty...

All right, no, that's good, that's good.

We gotta pump the brakes on us, okay?

No! Okay, look, I'm gonna
have my own place,

a life plan, and my own savings account.

That's great. That is awesome.

You are gonna make some
young woman very happy.

No, Kate, I wanna make
you really happy, okay?

We belong together.

Listen, it's over, okay? We are over.

For now. But you can't put
this fire out with a hose.

That's exactly how you put a fire out.

No, not this fire. This
is an electrical fire.

- What? What're you talk...
- Or a grease fire.

- Forrest...
- We're not done.

Mm, we are, okay?

I need you and this
monster out of my office.

I think it looks dope in here.
We should just leave it.

No, we can't. The vegan
chef clients are coming in;

it's gotta get outta here.

I think the contractors left a
saw in the back, I could...

Yes, please. Would you mind?

See, Kate? You still need me.

- Mm... mm-mm.
- Mm-hmm.

22? f*ck!

Ah! Wendy! Linda! Welcome.

It's so nice to finally
meet you face to face.

Oh, same. We've been shopping
around for a woman-run outfit.

Yeah, someone who really gets
our needs as entrepreneurs

and new mothers.

New mothers? Congratulations!

Thank you. We adopted
about three months ago.

- Oh...
- She's almost one and we just,

we can't stand to be away from her.

She's our little miracle, so.

Actually, she's... she's outside
right now with the nanny.

- I hope that's okay.
- Attachment parenting.

Not a problem at all.

So, uh, look, this franchise
isn't gonna start itself.

So, uh, let's... uh, please,
let's peruse these materials.

Look, people love your restaurant,

but my goal is to help your franchise

to not only expand the
brand but elevate it.

- Oh!
- Oh...

Oh dear.

Oh, would you like to check on her?

Could we? We told the nanny to pester us

- if she got fussy, so.
- I totally get it, please.

See? I said get a mother in charge.

Other mothers get it.

I checked her diaper, it's clean.

I don't know.

Kate.

Oh! You two know each other?

Yes, we have a mutual... friend.

Well, that's fun.

I think she just needs a bottle.

Thanks, Renya, we'll be out in a minute.

'Kay.

She has such a way with Zeph.

And she reads my cards every morning!

I'm learning a lot about myself.

Oh...

- Let's dive in, shall we?
- Okay.

Mail delivery.

Oh my God, more?

Ugh, I'm so sorry.

What is this, a hiking catalogue.

Oh, that horoscope
newsletter I signed up for.

God, I wish that wasn't daily.

Oh, it's just so much!

What? What's this?

Oh my God, I've got to stop
online shopping when I'm high.

That's mine, actually.

Uh...

For this.

I've been thinking about it a lot,

and I'm gonna try and
have a baby on my own.

- Wow!
- I know, right?

- I mean, wow!
- Right?!

This is really exciting!

Well, it might be if I
could work up the guts

to, uh, stick myself.
Needles freak me out.

I mean, how am I supposed
to handle childbirth

if I can't even inject
myself with some hormones?

I know, they really are the worst.

Yeah.

Giselle had to chase me around the house

- and pin me down.
- Oh...

So what do you want, gut or butt?

Excuse me?

Do you want your needle in the gut...

Shhwwwoop!

- Or the butt?
- Oh, you wouldn't...

- One...
- Oh God... uh...

- Two...
- You are a good friend!

- I hate you!
- Three! I'm goin' butt!

Ahhhhhh!

That works.

I love where your head's at
with the suburban market.

Yeah, well, look,

hipster families are leaving downtown

and they're taking their
veganism with them.

Thank you both for coming in.

Uh, before you guys go,
I just wanted to...

I feel the need to share
something with you guys.

It's just that your nanny...

just... watch out.

That's ominous.

Sorry, she worked for us, briefly,

and, um, she stole something from me.

She stole something?

Yeah, my um... my laptop.

- Oh.
- It was my grandmother's,

and it was very precious to me.

That must've been very upsetting.

It was.

Well, thank you for meeting with us

and we'll be in touch really shortly.

Yes.

Renya, we're done!

- Hi!
- There she is!

- Hi! Hi!
- Love your bubba?

- Hi!
- How's your bubba?

Ideally, you don't wanna engage at all,

but if they push you,
you bring the pain.

- Come on!
- Get bent, pervert?

What? What is that, a question?

Okay, what do you say?

Stop or my dad'll b*at you off!

Up. My dad will b*at you up.

And still... no.

Remember, your dad is never
your dad; he is always a cop.

Now what, huh? I'm a teenage
boy with nothing to lose

and I'm moving in.

Screw you! My dad's a cop!

Better. Okay, pay attention.

You want people to come,
you never yell "r*pe",

you always yell "fire".

- Fire!
- What?

- FIRE!
- I can't hear you!

- FIRE!
- Yes!

Mom, please! I know!

Avoid eye contact, don't
respond, yell for help,

- and kick him in the d.
- Yeah?

Why are you telling me when
you could be showing me, huh?

- Oh! Ow!
- GET AWAY FROM ME!

DON'T TALK TO ME THAT
WAY! MY DAD'S A COP!

That's my girl.

Okay, let's try it again.

Toes! D! Gut!

Nose! D!

D! D! D!

D! D!

If you tell your body you're fertile,

it'll believe you.

You know, it's really
starting to sink in.

I'm gonna be a single mom.

You're gonna make a great mom.

- Even alone?
- Yeah.

I'm a better mom now that I'm alone.

I put too much into
relationships, lose myself.

You know I was somebody's dog once?

- What?
- That's for another time.

Oof... okay.

And up.

Oh.

Ooh... ahh.

That still hurts from when you
stuck me with that needle.

Oh.

You know what? Let's scrap this.

It's all about that MBN, right?

- Mind, Body, Nest.
- Huh.

Yeah, you gotta start prepping your home

the same way you're prepping that bod.

What's your... What's your
nursery looking like?

Well...

You know you're gonna have
a newborn in here, right?

It's not so bad.

Ohhhhh! Don't you just
wanna squeeze this?!

I had one just like it when I was a kid.

Eye on the prize, B. Okay?

We're thinking big picture
nursery items here

like diaper genies,
cribs, rocking chairs,

that sort of thing.

Whoa! Look at this
changing station! Sick.

Oh my God! This is like $2000 dollars.

- What?
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, it made from locally
sourced, sustainable...

plywood. Come on!

Hey, when G and I were
preparing for Rhoda

we figured a few things out, okay?

If it looks Scandinavian,

it's gonna cost you a million bucks.

Too cheap and you're gonna
be back for another one in,

like, weeks.

What you're really looking for is,

what is that called, it's...

- Oh God...
- Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong?

I don't know why I thought
I could do this alone.

Oh no, you're not alone.

Yes, I am. You're not.

You know, all your stories

about making your place
nice with Giselle

and having someone to help
you out with everything,

to carry some of the weight?

I feel completely underwater

and the baby's not even here!

If there even is a baby!

I gotta go.

No, no. No, Bianca, wait!

You know, I can't even
breathe in here, it's...

Okay, hold on! Bianca!

Bianca!

Oh, thanks, just... you just pull it.

No, you just pull. Forrest. Here.

Vegan and Sara, how can I help you?

Just... Hey, Wendy, it's Kate Foster.

Oh, hey, Kate.

Yes, look, I've been
giving a lot of thought

to what you're up against
and I think I have an idea.

Essentially...

I'm really glad you called.
I was just talking to Linda

about the whole nanny situation.

First of all, thank you so much
for being candid about that.

- We went ahead and let her go.
- Oh?

Yeah, she really made a scene.

She was crying and crying,

but we can't have a
thief around the child.

No, you can't.

We were also kind of hoping to find

a nanny who spoke
Mandarin, so... you know.

Anyways, you called us.
What can I do for you?

Yes, um, I've been thinking about it,

and I think you might get more
mileage from a combination

restaurant/takeout situation,

so people could pick up a premade dinner

- on their way home from work.
- Frozen meals.

Babe, frozen meals, what do you think?

Like Linda McCartney?

I love it!

She says she loves it.

Well, that's great news.

Um, let's connect later,
okay? Thank you. Buh-bye.

What?

Brrrrrr!

- Oh sh*t!
- Oh! I didn't mean to!

I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry!
I was being an elephant. I'm...

You got this for me?

Well, it spoke to you.

Look, it's your pregnancy.

You should follow your instincts.

I'm sorry I was pretending
that your baby was my baby

and we're not even together.

No, we're not.

And the way people were
looking at us at that store.

I was like, we are not an item.

No! Can't a couple of single lesbians

who are interested in
each other's fertility

baby-shop in peace without
being labeled lovers?! Like...

Amen! Though, honestly,

it was giving me flashbacks to my ex.

- I don't ever wanna be your ex!
- What?

No, I don't ever wanna be with you.

- I'm glad you're single.
- Yeah, so am I.

- Yeah.
- I hope you never find anyone.

- Frankie!
- Well, I mean,

you're single, I'm single...

And that's the way it should be.

- Yup.
- Drink?

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

Are your parents home?

Are... are you here alone?

HELP, POLICE!

Oh my God, owwww!

What the f*ck? Ahhh...

What's going on? What is happening here?

Your kid just kicked me in the d*ck!

She did?

He was trying to isolate me for r*pe.

I am so proud of you.

I don't, I don't think
that's what was happening.

What's wrong with you?

You're ready, kid.

- So can I...?
- Oh yeah.

There you go.

Sorry, we're teaching our
daughter about the subway.

Yes! D!

D! D! D! Yay!

So, in summary, just stay alert

and... stay safe.

Okay. This is for the way there,

this is for the way home,

and this one is in case you lose one.

Hey.

Thanks, Dad.

You got this, kid.

You let me know if you
need that ride, okay?

- Just say the word.
- Relax, Mom.

- I'll see you guys at 8:00.
- 8:00?

Yeah. Play rehearsal's till 7:30,

and I'll come straight home after.

That, that, we didn't...
That's not what we...

Okay. Okay. Okay, honey,

and if, and if you need anything,

- you can just call us, right?
- I know.

Okay. Bye!

- How're the kids?
- Yeah, fine, with my mom.

- How are you?
- Uh... fine.

- How's work going?
- Fine. Uh...

- So everything's fine.
- I saw Renya.

Oh my God.

That must've been uh... Do
you wanna talk about it?

- Not with you.
- I'm here if you need me to.

Just drop it.

- Oh my God.
- What?

- That's Jeff Allans!
- Who, that guy?

Yeah. He donated like an entire wing

- to St. Jans Hospital.
- So?

So... he's like a legit humanitarian.

He's not supposed to be
in divorce jail with us.

There's too much air in here.

I guess sometimes good
people do bad things.

sh*t. sh*t.

Kate, wait.

Hey! Um, I'm sorry. Kate!

- Can I just say...
- Your outfits are stupid.

What?

I thought it would feel
better to say that.

Listen, I'm...

I'm sorry.

I'm really...

I'm, I'm sorry.

I don't care.

I'm-I'm not here to forgive you.

That's fair. I wouldn't ask you to.

What you did was awful.

And selfish,

and mean, and small.

Do you want a drink?

- What?
- You don't have one.

- You wanna... do you want one?
- No.

You worried I'm gonna poison you?

I'm good.

Yeah, right.

I was fired today.

Yeah, I...

I told them you stole from me.

I guess you're not wrong.

- So I was...
- With him...

- Please, go.
- Yeah, I'm gonna go.

Uh, I've been thinking a lot
about what I'd say to you...

when I saw you.

I had a lot of very
mean speeches prepared.

I even fantasized about just...

hitting you over and over again,

like in the face with a
fist, the whole deal,

maybe rings...

like in bloodsport.

Now you're right in front
of me and it feels...

it feels different.

Look, were you and Nathan in love?

No.

I mean, I thought I was, but...

I always think I am at the beginning.

I promise, we weren't.

I think that we were
both just really sad.

Yeah. Yeah.

I understand if you hate me.

Maybe...

maybe I hate me.

I don't hate you.

I don't wanna feel anything about you.

Hey, how 'bout this.

I'd really like to not to
have to see your face again.

But I'm gonna make that your problem.

Deal?

Cool.

Yeah.

Hey, take care of yourself, all right?

So that I will dig it up

- Night nurse to the rescue!
- I got it, Val, I got it.

Here, I'll trade ya.

- But don't finish it.
- Oh!

Hey there...

Hey! I just wanted to see you.

Oh, I missed you today.

Oh my goodness did I miss you.

I missed you today.

Oh, I missed you today.

Oh, it's gonna be okay.

Everything's gonna be okay, my girl.

Oh... that's better.