02x16 - Let it Flow

[bunniefuu]

This is an abomination.

Look away, Mary Louise!
Look away!

- I can't.
- No!

I can't!

I can't!

♪ Tear it down ♪

Can you believe the nerve
of Theresa Larson?

- Why can't she pump in private?
- Seriously.

Flashers get thrown in jail for it.

Why should it be any different for her?

She's doing this to spite me.

She knows I'm $ , short
of my boob job.

♪ ♪

Wow. The wig makes him
look so presidential.

- Is she here?
- No.

Finally, we can sit in peace without
the sounds of a cow getting milked.

What are your classes
selling for mini-society?

- Necklaces.
- Bracelets. You?

- Trail mix.
- That you're currently eating.

What can I say?
I believe in our product.

I really want my kids
to win the pizza party.

They're such hard little workers.

They remind me of my
Grandpa Wolfgang Adler

who worked on the Chrysler assembly line

for over years.

- Wow. years.
- Mm, yeah.

Until management fired him and
outsourced his job to Mexico.

He tried to get it back but d*ed broke

when a Mexican mule
kicked him in the head.

- Talk about insult to injury.
- I'm so sorry, Deb.

But as far as the pizza party goes,

I'm pretty sure my class
will be winning.

- And why is that?
- The Watson family

has always done well economically.

Back in the s,
my great-great-grandfather

bought up all the railroads
and broke the back

- of organized labor.
- So he was like Mr. Monopoly?

Yeah, they actually modeled
the character after him,

but they added the monocle.

My family's still upset about it.

Well, I will take honest workers

over blue bloods any day.

Hey, guys. I have big news.

I got the Helen D. Beaumont Art Grant!

Now I can buy more supplies
and build the art program.

Cecelia, how many times
do we have to tell you?

No one cares about art.

♪ ♪

Oh, Patty. A purple banana.
Very outside the box.

Trey, I love that you gave
your apple a face and a...

Is that a machine g*n?

See? Children can express
all their complex emotions

when there's funding for the arts.

Yeah, but I'm gonna miss painting

with leftover condiments
from the cafeteria.

If I got hungry before lunch,

I could just lick
my students' art projects.

Bruno Chiclet, how are you doing?

Mm, I don't know.
I've never painted before.

Well, let's see.

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]

Oh, my Gaia!

This is beautiful.

You're a genius.

Dang! That's like hotel art.

This is the power of the assembly line.

Made in America. Yes.

Mrs. Adler, can we
please take a break?

- My hands are getting tired.
- We can't.

Now, pick yourself up by your
bootstraps and power through.

We've got to work hard like my grandpa

- to put pizza on the table.
- I don't have bootstraps.

- I have sneakers.
- Just work, Amanda.

And that's why the American dream

is to create multiple streams of income.

Now, Davis, let's say that
Delia F. in Ms. Spencer's class

wants to borrow
Fillmore bucks at % interest.

Would you give her the loan?

Yes, but with interest
compounded weekly.

Excellent.
And we do that so we can...

ALL: Drain her dry!

[LAUGHS]

I'm so proud of you, Davis.

- I knew you'd be in here.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- I was just about to...
- Whip out your giant gazongas?

- Have you no shame?
- What are you?

- A full D?
- Excuse me?

Your tits, Theresa.
Don't play dumb.

Okay, I really need to pump, ladies.

It's called formula, Theresa.

It's the modest woman's choice.

Breast milk is much healthier
for children.

Well, then find another way
to squeeze it out of you.

Because this disgusting display

is no longer welcome
in the teachers' lounge.

Yeah, go milk yourself
in the handicap stall.

That's what they're there for.

Look, ladies, I'd love to have a chat

about the politics of public
breast-feeding another time,

but right now, I really need to pu...

- [GASPS]
- [GASPS]

Ah! Aah.

How many calories
do you think were in that?

Babies grow really fast.
So probably a lot.

Oh, damn it, Theresa!

- Oh, wow.
- Oh!

[SIGHS CONTENTEDLY]

♪ ♪

Ms. Cannon, I just
got off the phone

with one of our parents,

- Suzie Takamura.
- The art critic

- from the "Chicagoland Gazette"?
- Yes.

She was dropping off
her daughter's lunch earlier

when she noticed
Bruno's work in the hall.

She was so impressed,
she wants to do an article

- on you and Bruno.
- Girl!

You're gonna be in the "Gazette"?

That's like Chicagoland's "Vogue."

Wow. I can't believe it.

Since it seems like a good opportunity

to get some pro-Fillmore media exposure,

I offered to hold an art show
here this Thursday night

to showcase Bruno's work.

[GASPS]

- His first opening.
- Bravo, Ms. Cannon.

Even though I've never
acknowledged you before,

you have truly elevated the arts
program here at Fillmore.

Please let me know
if you need anything at all.

You have my ear.

- Ah!
- Did you hear that?

Dude, you just made Pearson your bitch.

It's just so nice
to finally get recognized.

I know. When Principal Pearson
gave you that grocery cart

instead of a classroom,
I was like, uh, seriously?

Yeah, I was so outraged.

Even though I didn't say anything.

And I've always thought
you were cool, Cecelia,

despite the fact
you believe God is a woman.

[ROCK MUSIC]

You can have full use
of my classroom all week.

Anything to help the art program.

But what's your class gonna do?

Who cares? They can play
freeze tag in the cafeteria.

Geniuses take precedent.

Just so nice to see art finally getting

the respect that it deserves.

But you said no one cares about art.

Oh, no, you misunderstood me.

What I said was that no one
cares about art more than I do.

And even though peer pressure
forced me to circulate

that petition to try and get you fired

and use the extra money
for Friday staff barbecues...

- What?
- I want you to know

that I am happy to do
the "Gazette" interview on your behalf,

since you'll be so busy
with Bruno Chiclet's show.

- It's "Chiclay" now.
- Mm.

- Bruno "Chiclay."
- [GASPS]

And thanks for the offer,
but I'm actually excited

to do the interview.

Okay. Well, just...
just think about it.

[GASPS]

An abstract.

You've just transcended
an entire century of art history

- in a single morning.
- I decided to paint

from my imagination.

I want to paint what excites me.

- A true visionary.
- I want to make

a whole bunch of paintings
like this one.

Ooh, a series!
This is so exciting.

Keep up the good work, "Chiclay."

Us artists need to stick together.

Artists?

Clearly, you don't appreciate
my contouring.

[PLEASANT HARPSICHORD MUSIC]

I don't get it.
My kids can't work any harder,

and you're outselling us ten to one.

How's that even possible?

Uh, by embracing capitalist values.

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

Maybe people just don't like necklaces

as much as they like bracelets?

I warned you.
Money's in my blood.

Maybe it'll k*ll the herpes virus.

You know why my class is doing
so much better than yours, Deb?

- Hmm?
- Because they're being taught

by someone who valet parks at the gym

and wears pearls on the elliptical.

Your class is being taught
by someone who lives

in a tiny house and has to shower

while they sit on a toilet.

I am teaching my kids
that if they work hard,

- one day...
- They won't sell any necklaces

and end up broke?

Tell you what.

when I win, I'll give you
a slice of pizza.

Oh, we will destroy you, Richie Bitch.

Because the universe rewards hard work.

With a kick in the head by a mule?

[GASPS] I will shove
your dead grandfather's monocle

up your tight, perfumed ass!

He didn't have a monocle, you rube!

Oh, look!

A sex show...

right here in the teachers' lounge.

If you're gonna act like
a topless dancer, Theresa,

then you should be paid like one.

Wait, that was a . Give that back.

Yeah, we were just trying
to make a point, Theresa.

- [GASPS, SCOFFS]
- Come on, Mary Louise.

I'm gonna need to borrow bucks.

That was my lunch money.

[PLEASANT MUSIC]

Hey, Cecelia.

I think it's great,
the difference you're making

- in these students' lives.
- Thanks.

You know what else
would make a difference?

You telling Principal Pearson
my class' necklaces

would be a great gift to give
the faculty this Christmas.

Okay.

So...

see you later.

Girlfriend. [LAUGHS]

♪ ♪

Hey, chick-a-dee!

Are your ears burning?

'Cause everybody's talking about you.

- Need some help?
- You want to help me?

I can't believe you're hanging posters.

You should be out
discovering more geniuses.

Or asking Principal Pearson
to allow lunchtime prayers.

[CHUCKLES]

Why don't I go hang these up for you?

♪ ♪

- Hey, dog.
- Hey.

This is so weird.
Everyone's being so nice to me.

It's not weird.

Hey, I went out and grabbed you a sub.

You got me a veggie sub?

Sure did.

♪ ♪

Oh, you know what I was
thinking could really

help students artistically thrive?

Mandatory afternoon siestas
and Doritos breaks.

Just something to keep in mind
next time you talk to Pearson.

♪ ♪

[ROCK MUSIC]

Chop, chop, Leo.

Remember, the student
who makes the most bracelets

wins a pretty sticker.

- But where is Ms. Fischer?
- She's getting

a well-deserved massage on me.

So I'm your boss...

preschool teacher now.

Now get back to work, everybody.

- You're outsourcing?
- What?

No. They love doing this.

[SCOFFS] I was going crazy

trying to figure out why we were losing.

It's not because you're better than me.

It's because you're cheating.

Being intelligent and finding
a way to bend the rules

is not cheating, Deb.

It's called working the system.

Grandpa Wolfgang d*ed
because his job was outsourced,

and I am not gonna
let that happen again.

I will avenge you, Grandpa Wolfgang!

Ugh. The working class
is so dramatic.

♪ ♪

Nice try, ignoring
my exposed breast, Theresa.

I'm not ignoring it.
I just didn't notice.

[GASPS]

How dare you insinuate
that I have small breasts?

That is a personal att*ck.

- No, I didn't mean...
- Yes! How dare you?

They're not small.
They're petite and perky.

Unlike your big, full, round, giant...

- Mary Louise, you're not helping.
- Sorry.

You've awoken the beast, Theresa.

This is w*r!

♪ ♪

Art isn't a subject
or a thing or a way of life.

- It's a feeling.
- It is.

It's a feeling.
That's what I always say.

You know it's art
when you feel... it's art.

- That's right.
- Absolutely.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.

Before I discovered Chiclet,

there were many other discoveries.

A bird feather floating
across a morning pond.

ALL: Ahh.

A muddy footprint in the middle

of a white sidewalk.

- Yes.
- Oh, I see that, yeah.

A plastic bag floating in the wind.

Like "American Beauty."

I don't watch movies.

Never mind.
I am an uncultured idiot.

- Please continue.
- All of these discoveries

helped prepare me
for the creation of Chiclet.

- You created Chiclet?
- In a sense.

I created the context in which
his artistic bud could blossom.

- Ohh.
- Bud blossom.

[LIGHT APPLAUSE]

[CHUCKLES]

[MONEY COUNTER WHIRRING]

Thank you.

- Good.
- [MONEY COUNTER WHIRRING]

- There's the cheater.
- Oh, please.

Caroline... Ms. Watson...

it has been brought to my attention

that you've been outsourcing.

And that is not what the founders

of the Fillmore
mini-society had in mind.

- Seriously, Toby?
- I'm sorry.

- You have to start over.
- [SCOFFS]

Please don't hate me.

Huh. Now that the playing
field has been leveled,

we're gonna win this thing
the good old-fashioned way.

- Through hard work.
- Good luck.

Loser.

Okay, everyone,
we can't outsource anymore.

So it looks like we're gonna have

to make the bracelets ourselves.

No way. You said
manual labor was for chumps.

We're not making bracelets.

[JAZZY BASS MUSIC]

Turkey roll-ups?
Damn, art is fancy.

Which publication are you with?

- Uh, I'm Kirby's dad.
- Okay. Who here is press?

Anyone?

I'm so impressed that you
hung the series yourself.

- I wanted it to be perfect.
- Can't wait to see it.

- Ms. Cannon.
- Suzie Takamura!

It's such a pleasure
to finally meet you.

The Chicagoland
art community is all abuzz.

Everyone is looking forward to the show.

You won't be disappointed.

Chiclet is a visionary genius.

Bonjour!

Before unveiling tonight's masterpieces,

I'd like to take a moment
to recognize the woman

who made all of this happen.

Ms. Cecelia Cannon!

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Whoo!

Ms. Cannon, we'd like
to present you with this gift.

It's a golden art cart! Yay!

[GASPING]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Oh. Thank you.

Art is vital to our students.

I cannot stress that enough.

Art is vital

to our students.

Without further ado, I present...

Chiclet!

[CROWD GASPING]

- What?
- Oh, oh, my God.

- Oh!
- What the hell is this?

I don't know.
Chiclet hung these by himself.

- Did you pose for this?
- No! Oh, my God, no!

I've never seen them put together.

I'm pulling the "Gazette" article.

- No!
- Wait, please!

I have other talented students!

Chiclet!

This is what was in your imagination?

Uh-huh. I painted
exactly what I saw.

I knew we should've traded you

for those Friday staff barbecues.

No, Deb, I didn't pose
for these, I swear.

I've always said art
is for deviants and pedophiles.

- Toby!
- You don't get

to call me Toby anymore.

[ROCK MUSIC]

I spoke with Chiclet, and he admitted

that you hadn't seen the paintings

put together until the show.

He also confirmed that
you didn't pose for him.

Although that doesn't make
his work any less disturbing.

From now on, I'll make sure
the grant money is used

- for more school-appropriate art.
- Oh.

No, there's no grant money anymore.

- Wait, what?
- Suzie Takamura contacted

the Beaumont Foundation,

and they've rescinded your grant.

You need to return all the money.

I can't!

I spent the last of it
on turkey roll-ups.

Well, lucky for you, someone offered

to buy Chiclet's piece last night.

Really? Who?

Mr. Spinnoli.

Apparently, he's a puzzle enthusiast.

♪ ♪

Thanks for sharing your winnings, Deb.

Mmm. This is delicious.

Next year, I'm not gonna eat
all my students' product

and just hold out for the pizza.

I'm glad you could all enjoy it.

Grandpa Wolfgang would be so proud.

Where were you last night?

You missed a scandalicious art show.

I was up all night making bracelets.

My students refused to do manual labor.

They won't even carry
their own backpacks anymore.

You were right.

The values I taught them
turned them into monsters.

I'm sorry, Deb.

I'm sorry for saying
that I hope you choke to death

- on your silver spoon.
- You never said that.

Oh, I guess I must've
just thought that one.

Anyway, I'm sorry too.

Attention, everyone.

- Here we go again.
- Since Theresa Larson

won't stop exposing herself,

we've created a breast pumping
station for her

in the utility shed behind
the playground equipment.

You can do there
what you do here, Theresa.

Except there, you won't
ruin people's lives.

- Breast pumping is normal.
- No, it's not.

- It's disgusting.
- No, you two are disgusting.

I'm really disappointed in both of you,

and I never care about anything.

Yeah, get over your bullshit

and start acting
like normal human beings.

- But don't you think that it...
- No.

- But aren't breasts...
- Just leave.

- Where are we supposed to go?
- Why don't you go to your shed?

[GASPS]

Thank you.

- Hey, Ms. Watson.
- You can't be in here.

Relax.

The boys and I were talking,
and we want our own pizza.

Davis, these are Fillmore bucks.

And here's a little
something extra for you.

Pick yourself up
a new headband, sweetheart.

- [SIGHS]
- I feel terrible.

Me too.
We should apologize.

No. About my breasts.

Chelsea, there's nothing
wrong with your breasts.

But then again,
I only saw the right one.

Maybe show me the left one?