02x05 - Isabel

[bunniefuu]

[sniffs]

[Luke laughs] Oh, God.

Thirty years in a barrel and
it still tastes like whiskey.

I'm sorry, that is
the real problem here.

You're not doing it right. You've
gotta smell it and then taste it.

See what it makes you think of.

It mostly just reminds me
of really strong alcohol.

Is this the one?

I think the one we
liked was smokier maybe?

Oh. Why couldn't you and Mal have
bonded over a perky little rosé?

[Dylan] I have to say I'm impressed.

You used to freak out about
birthdays and now you're back here

hunting down the very first
whiskey that you drank together,

to have on your wedding day.
Face it. You're a romantic.

We haven't drunk this much
whiskey since the Tech Awards.

- Were we drinking whiskey?
- You were for sure.

sh*t. Isabel. I left her off the list.

[Luke] Yeah. Isabel.
What ever happened to her?

[Dylan] I don't know.
She was always so busy

- and then I was busy and...
- Boys, focus.

Okay? We've got a lot
more tasting to do.

We're not leaving here
until I've found the one.

God, you're starting
to sound like Dylan.

I'm actually... I'm
feeling a little bit peaky.

Is it okay if I switch
up on to rosé, please?

- To take the edge off?
- [laughs]

- I'm sorry... What!
- [laughs]

I don't care. I'm doing it anyway.

We should catch the coach soon
or we'll be stuck for the night.

We don't do this enough.

We should keep hold of it. Promise me?

[sighs deeply] Right. That old dude at
the bar says that this is his favorite

and he looks like he's only drunk whiskey
for the last, like, years, so...

I think this is the one.

- [sighs] Finally!
- [Dylan] Really?

Not just 'cause we
have to catch the coach?

Yeah. This is it.

Amen to that.

- [indistinct chatter]
- _

Things like this make me
feel like... I don't know,

like I... I really don't
have my sh*t together.

Uh, you don't, dude.

[Dylan] I mean these people
might win awards tonight

for being great at what they do.

They have, like, a thing that they do,

[stammers] and they're good at
it, and they take pride in it.

Well, not necessarily.

What do you mean?

There's more than one path to a
statuette. That's all I'm saying.

To the sweet, sweet taste
of victory, dear boy.

How do you know that you'll win?

These awards are notorious for
jury tampering and corruption,

which is terrible, obviously.

[whispers] Unless you're
the one doing the tampering.

I thought we were here to
celebrate your hard-won achievement?

It is an achievement. It's
an achievement in bribery.

It's, uh... Listen, it's all good fun.

Seriously, I've schmoozed.
I've earned this.

- Incoming!
- Ooh!

It's the award for Best
Front-End Development...

In a freemium app.

- Samuels. McNeish! Mandy!
- [laughing]

Okay, everyone on your
best behavior, right?

For those of you who haven't met him,

Alexander Walker is one
of our principal investors.

- Gentlemen.
- Thank you for my salary.

- Do you want some MDMA?
- Okay, let's get you a drink, man.

Lots to get excited about tonight.

Yeah, actually, I need to, uh,
catch up with some familiar faces.

So, good luck.

- All right?
- Oh, hi.

- I'm Jonno.
- Yeah. No, I do remember you, Jonno.

I find it's fifty-fifty with people.

How's it going?

You got stuck on top of
any more hospitals or...

No, I prop open every door
now. Drives my girlfriend crazy.

Oh. Well, I'm glad you found someone.

We have sex three times a week.

Wow.

Don't always do everything.

Well, I'm... I'm glad
it worked out for you.

I was in a rut, so... I changed job,

got a girlfriend, and
now I'm winning an award.

Best Front-End Development
of a Freemium App.

I'm loving life, Edie!

- Well, it's... it's Evie.
- [sighs]

- No, no, no!
- All right, guys?

We're not your guys
anymore. We're strange men.

Strangers, Sam, it's not strange
men. But his point remains.

Jonno, you betrayed us.

You're like Judas, only much worse.

- I just took a different job.
- [mimicking]

Doing what's right for me.

Forget it, boys. He's not worth it.

- You stop consorting with the enemy.
- Sorry.

Seriously, Evie, how do
you think it makes me feel,

- seeing you with...
- [Evie] Sorry!

Unbelievable!

We've found our table. We're there.

No... that can't be right.

Check if you want.

- You all right?
- They seat the winners at the front

so people don't have to wait ages
while they walk back from the podium.

A table at the back
almost always means...

We may have a problem with the award

for Best Front-End
Development in a Freemium App.

That's the award that Jonno's winning.

Evie, speaking very slowly and precisely

with no ambiguous phrases
or foreign words...

What the f*ck?

Jonno said that he
was winning that award.

- He seemed... pretty confident about it.
- Tell me everything you know.

There's nothing much,
just he's doing all right.

- He's got a girlfriend...
- [scoffs] Yeah, right.

He likes his job...

[Samuels] Interesting. That's Wendy.

Give me more, Samuels.

- Open that beautiful mind of yours.
- She went skiing last year.

I saw it on Facebook.

She didn't like the moguls.
She strongly liked the hot wine.

A mogul is a bump in the snow.

Some people like to ski
around bumps. Not Wendy.

Someone took a photo of her
afterwards. Her dad! He took it.

He put a photo of her on
Facebook. You commented on it.

- Me? Why?
- You said it looked...

[laughs] like a bumpy ride.

He, uh, liked the comment,
uh, with a thumb up.

- Her dad's Charles Ashton!
- [gasps]

She's Wendy Ashton! [chuckles]

The fact they share the same surname
didn't help you make the connection?

[exhales deeply] Oh,
Jonno, you sly bastard.

Charles Ashton's on the awards jury.

I played golf with him
three times this month.

I don't even know how to
play golf! I made it up.

- We're dead meat, aren't we?
- No, we're very much alive meat.

- So what's the plan?
- Go and get a drink.

- I'll take care of this, boys.
- Man... with a plan.

Plan on it! Go! Drink!
Precelebrate! [chuckles]

You guys hang back.

Okay, what's the plan?
I've got literally nothing.

What makes you so sure
you're not actually gonna win?

Yes, good. You determine that.

- What? How?
- I don't know. You suggested it.

Evie, I think it's time you had
a chat with your ex-boyfriend.

Uh, no, I never actually
went out with Jonno.

Really? You sure? You never dated him?

- No. Never.
- I distinctly remember...

Okay, well, maybe now's
a good time to seduce him

and extract a little pillow talk, huh?

Well, I could just talk to him.

I don't think it will
be half as effective,

but if it's all you can offer me, fine.

Chop-chop, Dyl. We're
on the clock. Let's go.

Okay, fine. But I want you to
have really low expectations

of me actually succeeding.

They're coming down from really certain
to absolute certainty of success.

Uh, what are you gonna do?

[sighs]

Well, I've assigned all the main
tasks. I might as well go get a drink.

- [Isabel] Can I get you something to eat?
- Sorry?

People hanging around here

are usually just trying to
jump in early on the canapés.

[stammers] Oh, no, I'm just...

Uh... I'm...

There is something, though.
Could... could I just get backstage?

- That's staff only.
- Yeah, I just...

I want to sneak a look at the
award winners in the envelopes.

[chuckles]

- You're very upfront about the cheating.
- Yeah.

Have you got a bet
riding on it or something?

Something like that. Can you help?

Thanks for doing this. It's really kind.

The organizers' room has a
thumbprint ID and CCTV entry system.

- f*ck!
- Kidding. It's just a room.

[indistinct chatter]

Excuse me... uh, sorry.
Uh, can I have a word?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, no problem.

I would like to preempt any sexual tension
by reminding you I do have a girlfriend.

So... it's a no.

- Yeah.
- It's probably a no.

- Okay.
- I mean... could ask her?

Nah.

[both chuckle nervously]

How did you meet Wendy?

Classic story.

Bit of grinding at a nightclub,
Facebook afterwards. Bang. Love.

So, why did you choose her out
of all of the girls in the city?

Was there something special about her?

There is something special about her.

- Oh, yeah?
- She's kind.

And she believes in
me. And I believe in me.

And so now loads of people are on
board with believing in the Jonno.

So you weren't just using
her to get to the awards?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Are you getting on with that
fella you were hung up on?

- [stutters] What, Dylan?
- Make your move yet?

Nope. [chuckles]

- You lost interest?
- Nope. [chuckles]

- You chickened out?
- Yeah.

Being single's not so bad.
You get bought lots of drinks.

It's a free bar tonight.

I mean, generally.

You couldn't pay me to be single again.

[both chuckle]

[whispers] It will happen.

- [yawns]
- Long day?

When I do an event like this my
Saturdays are, like, hours long.

- Isn't that illegal?
- You're asking the right girl!

Or you will be.

I, uh, I'm saving to train as a lawyer.
You know, I wanna do human rights.

Uh, but to get there, first I
must trample on my own. [chuckles]

- [chuckles]
- It's fine, I can...

- I can sleep it off on Monday.
- Why not tomorrow?

Oh, 'cause on Sundays I do pro
bono work for a women's refuge.

Got to build up that CV. [chuckles]

I'm exhausted just
listening to your schedule.

Feel free to tip heavily
at the end of the night.

- [door opens]
- [footsteps approaching]

- Are we... are we all right?
- I don't want to spoil your fun but, um...

I don't think anyone cares
that we're in here. [chuckles]

[chuckles]

- We should probably get a move on.
- Yeah.

They get beady if their staff go
missing and... I need this job.

Along with all the other ones.

Yeah. [chuckles]

It's cool you know what you wanna do.

If I'd figured it out sooner, I
could have studied at uni, but...

better late than never.

- [stammers] How did you...
- Ah!

Here we are.

Yep.

And the winner is...

Not Luke.

Hey, can we get this guy
some mini hamburgers please?

And some mini quiches as well.

You know what? Just bring
him a lot of small food.

[chuckles] Yes.

We have a great developer
team, we really do.

I mean, they're... they're
very, very award-winning.

Yeah, well, we'll shortly see if other
people share your opinion, won't we?

[chuckles] That's true.

[inhales sharply] Although, you know...

to even be nominated in this
category really is a huge deal.

Right?

Yeah.

- [woman] Thank you.
- What can I get you, sir?

I'd like a beer, please.
And a lot more advice.

Oh, Dylan, I'm sorry... but
they'll get really pissed off

if I have a long
conversation with a guest.

I'd like to talk.

I really would, but um...

- What if I helped?
- If you helped?

What are you... Dylan...

I want what you've got
with your law stuff.

That thing of, you know, doing
something you really love.

That sounds great.

Okay, well, welcome to
the catering industry.

Does this feel like your calling?

[both chuckle]

[guests laughing]

- Music.
- Headphones.

- Food.
- Chewing.

- Cars.
- Pollution.

- Lacrosse.
- Lacrosse.

Sorry, lacrosse makes
me think of lacrosse.

- No thinking, no questions. Art.
- Uh, gallery.

- Hunting.
- Unicorns.

- Sorry.
- [laughs] It's all right.

[both laughing]

- Sorry. Uh, gardens.
- Lovely.

You find gardens lovely?

Yeah, the... You know, the
smell of freshly cut grass.

Things changing through the
seasons. That's... lovely.

- Have you thought about the SAS?
- [chuckles]

Or maybe just landscape gardening?

- Could I do that?
- Why not?

I'm actually really
excited by that idea.

- There you are then.
- [laughs] Could it be that simple?

Does everything have to be complicated?

- Hey.
- What can I get you?

- What are you doing?
- I'm pouring you a drink.

I find you...

very confusing.

[clears throat]

Oh. All right, guys?

So Jonno just appeared in
your life, did he, Wendy?

Like Father Christmas, only
real... and called Jonno?

- What?
- Two words for your lady.

Charles and Daddy.

Daddy's in the same industry,
so we had a lot in common.

- It doesn't add up.
- Are these friends of yours?

Oh, we're all friends here, Wendy.

We all want the same things. Love...

The award for Best Front-End
Development in a Freemium App.

I'm starting to freak out.

Wendy, far be it for me to predict
any of the night's big results,

but one hears things and, well,
boys, lay it out for the lady.

Wendy, you are linked to Charles.

Yes, because I'm his daughter.

And you like hot wine, but
not when the snow's bumpy.

- And you're a Virgo...
- Jonno used you

to get to your father
to get to the award

for Best Front-End
Development in a Freemium App!

- Dad's not on the jury this year.
- What?

I met Wendy grinding!

At a club.

It was our third date before
I realized who her dad was.

If we win it, it's
because we're good at it.

You bunch of tits!

That was a masterclass, Luke.

- [chuckles]
- We've lost.

Yeah, but the way you
handled it was masterful.

[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
if you'd take your seats,

tonight's awards will
begin in five minutes.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

- Amen to that, brother.
- I had it all planned out.

Life doesn't work that way.

I hope it gets better.

If I sit here all night, I'm gonna lose.

Luke, you have lost. Just sit down.

It's not over. There's still
one thing left I haven't tried.

[announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, take your seats

for tonight's ceremony.

[indistinct chatter]

This is great! I feel like just
going out there and, I don't know...

buying a trowel!

Yes! From one of the many late night
garden shops in the city center.

I could carry around secateurs
and get a feel for pruning.

Go. Go and find them.

Yeah, I think I might just stay, actually,
and rule out being a barman forever.

For... just a little while longer.

- What's this all about?
- Believe me, this is the nuclear option.

Hey, you can't k*ll me. [stammers]
Witnesses saw me leaving with you.

I'm not gonna k*ll you, Jonno.
It's much worse than that.

For me.

Oh, no.

I'm flattered, Luke, but
I've got a girlfriend now.

I am down on my knees, and
I am begging you to please...

let us win that award.

Yeah, when I worked for you at
Volcano Media it was always about you.

Well, tonight's about
me... [whispers] Jonno.

Not about you... Luke.

You're gonna have to deal with that.

Tonight's not about either of us, Jonno.
It's about Samuels and McNeish and Mandy.

The investors wanna make cuts.

They wanna outsource the
front-end development team.

- They're gonna get rid of them.
- McNeish called me a much worse Judas.

All right? That's not very nice.

He's angry you left
because we were a family.

I thought that if we
won the award, then...

it'd be an award-winning
team. It'd add value.

It'd keep them safe.

- Why would I help you?
- Because...

Because you're a much
nicer guy than I am, Jonno.

If you take your team
out of contention...

they might stand a chance.

[sighs heavily]

[indistinct chatter]

[crowd applauding]

Whatever happens... you
guys are my number one.

Do we get an engraved
plastic trophy for that?

Do you want one?

That would be amazing.

[announcer] Next up...

- Then yes, of course.
- we have the award

for integrated entertainment experience.

[crowd applauding]

Job well done, Dylan.

Thanks. It's been an education.

- Pleasure schooling you.
- [glasses clink]

So, do you ever think, "What the
hell, I'll just take four minutes off

to have a drink with someone"?

Yeah, it's on my to-do list.

I just think it's...
polite to sort your life out

before you inflict it on
someone else. Don't you think?

Well, um, if you'd
consider making an exception

after this is all over...

It sounds like you might
be asking me on a date.

I would've asked earlier,

but I thought I should sort my life
out before inflicting myself on you.

[chuckles] That's the
polite thing to do.

Yeah, I might find half
an hour to fit you in.

- [announcer speaks indistinctly]
- Maybe.

[crowd applauding]

[announcer] Thank you very much.

The next award this evening goes

to the Best Front-End
Development Freemium App.

And the winners are...

Volcano Media!

[crowd cheering and applauding]

[shouting excitedly]

[all cheering]

Go on then, developers. Go and get it!

Gotta wring out every drop!

[both shouting excitedly]

How did you do it?

I don't know... I took a risk.

Okay, I'll be back in a second.

We will still need to cut costs.

They're an award-winning
team now. That adds value!

One of them offered me MDMA.

It was a gesture. Unless you want some.

[laughs] It was a joke.

All right, I'll agree to support
you for another six months.

They'll make you proud. I promise.

Sure.

- You won!
- Ha!

- You didn't even have to...
- Let's not discuss that just now.

- Big night for you!
- Okay, then. All right. [sighs]

I've got to deliver some thank-yous,

then let's get roaring
drunk on free whiskey.

Yeah, okay, you're already
there. So, just pause.

How did he do it?

Well, he... said that he took a risk.

Are you all right? You do
sound pretty drunk. [chuckles]

Whoa. Uh, it's, uh...
kiss-your-friends kind of drunk.

[both chuckle]

What, is that not, um...

- [both chuckle]
- Is that not something that we do?

Not really. [chuckles nervously]

Oh, okay, um, I didn't
know there were rules.

But fine, I will just... I'll strike
it from the repertoire. [chuckles]

Yeah, maybe we should just, you know,

stick to helping each
other throw up tonight.

Yes, that is definitely
on the cards. [chuckles]

Are you all right? Do you
want me to put you in a cab?

Well, only if you're... if you're going.

No, I kind of, um... I thought
I might stay around a bit longer.

I kind of made a plan with, um...
But not if you're not all right.

No, no. I'm fine, I'm fine.
You go and find some...

equally sober people to
hang out with. [chuckles]

All right. [chuckles]

- I'll check up on you later.
- Okay.

[sighs] You're with a great guy, Wendy.

We didn't deserve him.

I wish we'd made more of
him when he was with us.

- Jonno is great.
- Anytime, Luke.

If I ever need help,
I'll know who to call.

I'll call Jonno.

- I'm Jonno.
- [chuckles]

f*ck.

[groans] f*ck, f*ck,
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

[sighs]

- Oh, hi!
- Hey.

- Nightcap?
- Absolutely.

Holy sh*t.

I got a whole case so we
can serve it at the wedding.

Uh... [clears throat]

[chuckles]

[sniffs] Whoa.

Cheers.

- What do you get from it?
- [chuckles]

A mouthful of really good whiskey.

No, what does it make you think
of when you close your eyes?

I don't know. What do you see?

[grunts] I don't know.

[sniffs]

Honey and shortbread.

[chuckles]