04x02 - There's No I in Team, or Whatever

Episode transcripts for the show "Legacies". Aired: October 2018 to present.*

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Series spin-off from the "The Vampire Diaries" and "The Originals" has a new generation of protectors in the infamous town of Mystic Falls.
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04x02 - There's No I in Team, or Whatever

Post by bunniefuu »

CLEO: I will never forget this day.

(GROANING)

CLEO: It is the day I learned of magic.

Our greatest warrior
had been poisoned in battle.


The only solution
was a powerful transfusion ritual


to magically transfer the poison

into someone who had been
exposed to it before.


Someone immune.

Da Ina.

♪ ♪

Lati Ina Si okunkun.

(GROANING)

Lati Ina Si okunkun.

Lati Ina Si okunkun.

(SIGHS)

HOPE: Cleo showed me that memory
for a reason.


If we can find a way
to replicate the spell,

then we can transfer Malivore
out of Landon.

If you're all cool with that.

Yeah. Since when are you
all about collabin'?

Since MG pointed out that Malivore's
been trying to splinter us.

Solid.

Look, I know that I sometimes
like to call the sh*ts.

Um, well...

- Right.
- Okay. Okay.

All the times, but I can adapt.

There's no "I" in "team,"
or whatever. Right?

Uh... right.
Lizzie and I are on Team Hope.

Same. So I assume
that the "yeas" have it?

JED: Yeah. I mean, yea.

Did Cleo also muse you
the blueprints for this braid?

No. No blueprints.
We're just gonna have to figure it out.

Together.

"No blueprints."

Anything for my boy Landon.

But are we even sure
he's still in there?

We don't know for sure.

I have to believe that he is.
Either way, I need Malivore out of him.

Then there's only one thing left to do.

We need, like,
a catchphrase or something.

Uh... Super Squad on three?

One, two...

What's in the box?

(SIGHS)

You're not gonna like the answer.

Yeah, I don't like
a lot of things right now.

Like how I just straight-up lied to Hope
about Landon.

A necessary evil. Here.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- What's this?

"Movie in the Square"?

Our school still owes community service

for last year's football fiasco.

So it's time to pay the piper.

I'm gonna need you to supervise
our students while we set up the event.

No. The-the Squad just came up
with a plan to help Cleo and Landon.

Hmm. Lonely Club, remember?

That doesn't just mean keeping secrets
and drinking my bourbon. No.

It means we have to do the things
that no one wants to do.

Yeah, well, this definitely qualifies.

(CHUCKLES)

Don't worry. You'll have backup.

LIZZIE:
This shirt is not working for me.

I've tried dressing it up,
going casual, but it's useless.

I still look like a volunteer.

Which you are.

I need to be a cute volunteer
so that when we're done setting up,

Ethan and I can enjoy the movie.

Do I even want to know what that means?

Get your mind out of the gutter.

I just want to get to know him better.

All I know about Ethan
is that he likes football and he's hot.


But I don't even know if Ethan
is epic romance material.

Which is why I have compiled
a helpful checklist.

Videt.

JOSIE: "Holds doors open.
Plays guitar. Speaks French"?

Oui.

"Willing to risk his life for me
at the drop of a hat"?

Is that so much to ask?

JOSIE: That sounds perfect for you.

HOPE: That looks perfect.

Why doesn't our transfusion braid
look like that?

Uh, they recommend lion's hair.

And what did you use?

Shoelaces, mostly.

But we'll make it happen, Hope.
We promise.

WADE: Have you figured out who we'll be
transferring Malivore into yet?

I'll give you one guess.

You're being discharged.

- Congratulations.
- (GROANS)

(TOILET FLUSHES)

(SIGHS)

Don't forget your bill, Mr. Clarke.

_

Wait. This must be a mistake.

It's not.

Speaking of debt,
about that favor you owe me.

(DISTANT SCREAMING, FLAMES WHOOSHING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS CONTINUE)

(CRYING)

(SOBBING)

(GROWLS)

(SHOUTING)

(CRYING): No.

Please!

I cannot watch them die anymore.
End this now.

I will give you what you want.

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

I do not have the answer as yet,
but it will come in time.

Just end this suffering.

I'm sorry.

(SCREAMS CONTINUE)

I can't.

I'm not Malivore.

Landon Kirby?

I know we've never met before,

but if you were about
to give Malivore what he wants,

we need to get you out of here.

Now.

Sorry, Hope,
but this conversation is over.

I beg to differ.

Consto.

(GROANS)

Would you stop magic-ing me?

Sure. Once you remember
that you owe me one.

Look, you're Malivore's son,
just like Landon is.

That makes you the ideal host.
If we put him inside of you,

then there's far less chance
of rejection.

All my father's ever done is reject me.

Do you even have a way
to get Daddy dearest out of me?

It's a work in progress.

But if Landon and Malivore
have been sharing a brain,

then Landon might know a way
to put an end to your dad for good.

Might?

Why would I put my new
and amazingly fragile human body

at risk for a plan
you so clearly lack confidence in?

Because being human
means having a conscience.

Besides, if you help us
put an end to Malivore,

then you can finally have your freedom.

And you know,
you won't have to live with the guilt

of knowing that you let us all down.

Trust me, it's the worst.

Well, look, I'm grateful.

I'd gladly dog-sit for the weekend,
even help you move,

but I am gonna draw the line
at becoming a skinsuit for my father.

I really am sorry.

I guess I'm still a mud guy after all.

_
- (LIVELY CHATTER)

ETHAN: I'm really glad you came.

But I'm hoping that our next date
involves less manual labor.

_
- If there is a second date,

maybe we can do something
that we both enjoy.

Not a problem. Josie said that you
are also a secret comic book nerd.

_

Is your arm okay?

Oh, yeah. Um...

Still a little sore from tossing
the old pigskin around the other day.

That's another thing we have in common.

Hey, can I get a program?

Thanks. You've done more than you know.

So, who's your favorite superhero?

By the way, I think it's really cool
that you're into all this stuff.

_

Hard to say. It's a long list.

ALARIC: This is pointless.

If we don't have Clarke,
we don't have a host.

He'll show. He's different now.

He wants redemption,
even if he won't admit it.

Oh, I see. So this plan hinges
on Clarke being a good person?

He'll show.

Mm-hmm.

You wanted salt, right?

This is all the salt.

You know where we can find
great salt? Italy.

Where you should go. With me.

Dreaming big, huh?

I've never even been to Florida.

It's not just a dream.

I talked to my mom about you,

and she said that we could
visit her in Europe over the break.

If you'd want.

Let me get
the rest of the supplies first.

Sweet braid work, bro.

Thanks, bro.

And thanks to Grove Hill
for having a zoo.

This lion's hair
is so much easier to work with.

HOPE: Team update. How's everyone doing?

We're just about ready for you to put up
the anti-magic barrier.

Uh, no. That'll block the transfusion.

We need a dark object,
something that'll contain him.

Oh, I'll get a black candle.

Although I hate having my life
depend on wax.

Oh, relax. This spell isn't happening.

I'll be damned.

Probably.

Especially if you're assuming
I'm here to help you.

Then why are you?

Well, because I don't have $ , . .

Wait. You want money to do this?

I don't want to do it at all.
But Hope's right.

The human health care system
is criminal. (LAUGHS)

And if there's one thing I've learned
from my father and Triad,

it's that I hate debt.

ALARIC: Well, lucky for you,

we still have a little bit
of that leprechaun money left over.

W... Huh?

- Don't ask.
- Fine.

But there is one more thing I'll need.

LIZZIE: He passed the test.

I mean, he's only taking
first-year French,

but Ethan likes the same things I do,

he's attentive, he even speaks
the same love language.

Words of affirmation, obviously.

He's totally epic romance material.

So why don't I feel anything?

Are you serious?

While you're over here trippin'

because football dude
don't get your pigtails twirling,

the girl I dig is trapped
in a hell dimension.

And instead of rescuing her,

I'm stuck here,
shilling popcorn to townies.

How do you think I feel?

We are here so that Hope
and the team don't have to be.

So maybe just think of this stupid gig
as us doing our part.

Which, speaking of, I'm gonna need
one tiny other thing from you.

It's gonna annoy me, isn't it?

Oh, darn. I'm such a klutz.

Oh, here. Let me help.

Sorry, Kaleb.
We'll be finished cleaning this up

by the time
you get back from your break.

- Thanks.
- Of course.

MG?!

Shh!

(WHISPERING): Keep it down.
She'll hear us.

(LIZZIE LAUGHING)

You just won't die, will you?

Oh, on the contrary.

I've never been more alive,
and I'd like to stay that way.

But there's this thing
Hope wants me to do.

All right, well, tell me what it is,
and I promise you'll be free.

Oh, that's a promise you've made
and broken too many times.

Fool me once and all that.

Fair.

(GRUNTS)

I've definitely made some...
controversial choices as a father.

And why is that?

You created me to serve you.

That's what I did.

I never failed you, never let you down.

Until you did.

Well, after centuries
of your disinterest.

All I wanted was some indication
that you gave a crap about me.

I don't understand
why that was so hard for you to give.

You're right.

I created you so I could become you,
and that didn't work.

All I could see were my own failures.

I should have been better with you.

I'm sorry.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, that's all I needed to hear.

You can come in now.

You were right. He's nervous.

He's so worried about what
you're planning, he'll say anything.

- Hmm. So you're in?
- Oh.

I'm in.

You weren't wrong. Guilt sucks.

But revenge?

That's another story.

Lati Ina Si okunkun.

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

How's he doing?

Not great.

I'm trying to ease his pain,
not that he deserves it.

(GROANING)

Yeah, Clarke's in a bad way, too.

And werewolves
don't have fairy dust, so...

(YELLING)

Hope, hurry.

If I go any faster, I could cause
permanent damage to Landon.

I get that, but we need
to complete the transfer before...

(GRUNTS)

...that happens.

How'd it go in there?

Judging by the look on their faces?
Even worse than last time.

HOPE: Let's run it again. From the top.

Hope, you've already done it ten times.

And we only get one chance at this,
and we have to do it for real.

Maybe you messed up
Professor Vardemus's instructions.

JOSIE:
Or maybe we're doing something wrong.

JOSIE: You can't do this.

You can't be the one
that's in control of the spell.

Because when Landon's life
is on the line,

you don't exactly think clearly.

That is why the simulations
keep failing.

What do you want me to do...
just sit back and watch?

Do you know how hard that would be?

Probably about as hard

as pulling a maniacal mud man
out of your best friend's boyfriend

without k*lling him
or losing her forever.

We all have something at stake here.

We all care about Landon.

And we all care about you.

So you can play the whole
"There is no 'I' in 'team'" thing,

but you are the one person
that we all go to when things get rough.

You think you can do it?

Only if you can take a step back
and trust me.

KALEB: Okay.
You got some explaining to do.

I am just looking out
for my friends, okay?

From a cutout of Nosferatu?

The human and the supernatural worlds...
they don't mix, okay?

And when they do,
it never ends well for the human.

I don't need Ethan
to get in the mix with that again.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, come on, man. You're just jealous.

I am an evolved, st century feminist

who... is... also a little jealous
at this moment, yes.

Ah, now we're getting somewhere.
Come on, brother.

Go on and cozy up to Dr. Love
and tell him what's on your mind.

Everyone else has today.

(SIGHS)

Lizzie and I have grown a lot this year.

Sometimes we've grown apart,

but I always thought
that we'd come back together

when the timing's right.

Oh, if that time is not now,
why are you stressing

over her going on one date
with your ex-Boy Wonder?

'Cause what if their time is now?

And our time is never?

CLARKE: Whoa. Wait.
She's doing the spell?

This wasn't the deal. She hates me.

With good reason.

HOPE: Clarke, you have my word.

I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you,
okay? Not even him.

Hope, what if the sleep spell wears off?

Bro, stop manifesting, okay?

HOPE: It won't. And even if it did,
he's in a binding circle.

Are you gonna put this on,
or do we need two sleeping spells?

Fine, but I want double.

Oh, this isn't about money.
We both know that.

Okay, ready when you are.

Taking a step back, remember?

I mean, don't you need
someone to siphon?

No, I got that covered.

Oh.

Go team.

You sure you want to do this again?

Only if you promise
not to make me soup again.

Incendia.

(SIGHS)

So, I'm just gonna ask.

What does Malivore want from me?

He wants to know
how to k*ll the Tribrid, which I...

Don't say another word.

Malivore and I share a mind,
so anything that I know...

He knows.

Then we share a predicament.

For Malivore need only concentrate
on what he wishes to know,

and I will inspire him to realize it.

In time.

I've been doing my best
to think of anything else,

but the longer I'm in this place,
the more likely I will fail.

I mean, I'm-I'm pretty rusty
at conversation,

but I can try and help you
take your mind off of things.

What shall we discuss?

Uh, my go-to is generally Star Wars.

What is Star Wars?

What?

Okay, um, how about we go deep?

What is going deep?

Well, I-I ask you a question,
then you answer it honestly,

and then it's your turn.

That sounds uncomfortable.

Therefore, mentally engaging.

Uh, have you ever been in love?

Once. His name was Leonardo da Vinci.

Wait. The Leonardo da Vinci?

He was not the man the world now knows.
Back then, he was a boy.

(GIGGLES)

With a brilliant mind,
an insatiable thirst for knowledge,

and the kindest eyes I'd ever seen.

Sounds like we've both experienced
epic love.

(SIGHS) Yes.

And it is probably best
that I never do so again.

The stronger my feelings
are for someone,

the more powerfully I inspire them.

My love for Leo helped change the world.

He advanced art and science
so profoundly

in the time we were together, but...

had he been any less of a man,

I shudder to think
what would have happened.

I shudder when I think

about how becoming the Tribrid
could change Hope.

Change the supernatural world.

For better or for worse?

Well, if I knew that, I'd shudder less.

A Tribrid does sound quite terrifying,
now that I think of it.

The Tribrid.

The first of her kind.

An immortal, unstoppable force of nature

who just so happens to be my girlfriend.

And the daughter of one of history's
most ruthless K*llers.

Sorry. Um, we shouldn't even
be talking about Hope.

It is too late.

(GASPS)

Because I've just had an idea.

The idea.

I know this isn't easy for you,
watching the people you love in danger,

because of a decision you've made.

I've been there more times
than I can admit.

How do you deal?

Bourbon mostly.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

And belief.

I try to remind myself
that there's a reason

why I trust these people
in the first place.

HOPE: None of them would have
to go through any of this

if I just became the Tribrid.

Hope, we've been over this.

You don't want that.

None of us want that.

I know.

What I don't know
is if it's the right decision.

I used to think
that I would do anything for Landon,

but why not that?

Uh, I think he's coming out of it.

Don't know how.
I dosed him with enough fairy dust,

he should be high as a kite right now.

Wait, wait.
Landon's body can't take this.

We have to stop the spell now!

No. We need to go faster!

Yara lati Ina Si okunkun.

Yara lati Ina Si okunkun.

(GASPS)

It's done.

I think we earned that trip to Europe.

ALARIC: The question is, did it work?

I don't think so.

I'm still me. Nothing happened.

Oh, and I'm still me.

But something definitely happened.

(CLICKING)

WADE: This seems bad.

(ROARING)

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

(YELLS)

ALARIC: Jed!

What did you do?

LANDON:
The hardest thing I've ever done.

I made him useful.

Thanks for that.

It's nice to stretch my legs
every once in a while.

What did you do to Clarke?

Well, thanks to our friendly
neighborhood muse,

I figured out your plan.

So instead of transferring myself
into Clarke,

I offered up an alternative.

A dybbuk.

You know,
I wanted a more interesting monster,

like a dragon or a kraken,

but Clarke's human body
couldn't handle that.

ALARIC: Dybbuk. It's a parasitic spirit
of Jewish folklore

that imbues its host
with supernatural strength.

But wait. It gets better,

'cause I told the dybbuk
how lovely Movie in the Square

is this time of year.

Don't worry too much.

k*lling a dybbuk is relatively easy.

All you have to do is k*ll the host.

Dr. Saltzman, wait.

Happy hunting.

Tribrid.

(WOMAN SCREAMING ON SCREEN)

(GORILLA CHUFFS)

You know what would make this
even better?

A Peanut Butter Blast milkshake.

ETHAN: Yeah, I'll go grab one.

No, I got it.

Well, hurry back.
It's almost to the good part.

(DRAMATIC MOVIE MUSIC PLAYING)

(GORILLA ROARS)

LIZZIE: Ugh.
What else could go wrong today?

(GROWLING)

MG: Lizzie said she's not into Ethan?

Oh, my God, yeah, so just, you know,
stop stalling and take action.


Tell her how you feel or whatever.

Ah...

After the movie.

(CHUCKLES)

I've waited for long enough.

(DRAMATIC MOVIE MUSIC PLAYS)

Where'd she go?

I don't know what happened.

(NECK CRACKING)
I remember the... transfusion failing,

and-and then I was here.

(CRACKING, GROANING)

(GROWLING)

MAN (ON SCREEN):
Ladies and gentlemen, look at Kong,

the Eighth Wonder of the World.

(GROWLING LOUDLY)

Crap.

(GROWLING)

Leave her alone.

While I do find your bravado very sexy,
you need to get out of here.

I know that you can handle yourself,

but I also know a bully when I see one.

(LOW GROWLING)

A very weird, misshapen bully.

No. Wait.

(YELLS, GRUNTS)

(LOW GROWLING)

HOPE: Put that down.
We can't k*ll Clarke.

Oh, I will if I have to.
If it's necessary.

What's necessary is saving his life.

I gave him my word
that I wouldn't let anyone hurt him.

And I respect that.
But what if he hurts a lot of people?

You know, we're supposed
to be working as a team.

And I'm the headmaster.

If it comes between Clarke
and one of my students or my daughter,

there is no decision to make.

There has to be something else
that we can do.

Well, if you think of something,
let me know.

In the meantime,
someone has to make the hard choice.

You're right. Ad somnum.

And that someone is me.

This isn't good.

You get him back to the school.
I'm gonna track down Lizzie.

Wait. Shouldn't I track down Lizzie?

I don't care which hero move is mine,
MG. We just got to move.

You go after Lizzie.
I'll get Ethan back to the school.

When he wakes up,
he's gonna have a lot of questions.

He deserves to hear the answer from me.

Let's get it.

CLEO: Oh, do not go.

If you figured out a way
to k*ll the Tribrid,

you need to get away from me
and out of Malivore, fast.

How does one escape the darkness?

Speaking from experience,

there are doors
that lead you back to our world.

You just have to find one.

That is not enough information
for me to go on, especially alone.

Cleo.

You're a muse.
Stop worrying about other people.

Inspire yourself for a change.

Good luck to you, Landon Kirby.

Cleo?

It was nice to meet you.

Wish it could have been
under different circumstances.

Then maybe we shall meet again.

(GROWLING)

Given my luck today, I'm going to assume

you didn't bring me here
to fix the office photocopier.

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

Let me guess. Witch barbecue?

(GROWLS)

I should warn you. I'm a worrier,
so I'll probably be really stringy!

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTS)

Nobody's eating nobody.

(GROWLS)

Kaleb, Ethan's hurt.

Yeah, I know, I know.

MG's already looking out for your boy.
His boy.

Kaleb!

Oh.

(GRUNTING)

(GROWLING)

I'm really sorry
for what I have to do to you.

But I made a promise
to the body that you're in,

and I don't like debt
any more than he does.

(GROWLS)

Yara lati Ina Si okunkun.

(GROWLING)

Yara lati Ina Si okunkun.

(GROWLING)

(LOUD GROANING)

(SIGHS)

Hell of a first date, huh?

Honestly,

almost getting Filet-O-Saltzman'd
by a roid rage monster

was a lot better than how it started.

If we're talking fish metaphors,

you do know that there are plenty
left in the sea.

But Ethan really came through
in the end.

And I know I should probably
be more progressive than this and all,

but him coming to rescue me like that?

Epic.

He damn near got his ass k*lled.

Exactly.

And I still wish
that he could play guitar

and speak the language
when he takes me to Paris,

but a girl can't have everything.

Right.

And I'm only able to go
because you helped save me today.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Hope saved you.

I barely got the assist.

Your dad...
he'd have known exactly what to do.

Well, he wasn't there.

But if he had been,
I know what he would have said.

That I should probably hit the gym more?

No.

That you helped keep everyone safe,
including his daughter.

And that's what he cares about most.

(GASPS)

(MONITOR BEEPING)

(PANTING)

I thought I was done for.

And you were
till I pulled the dybbuk out of you,

which left you so porous,
we had to give you vampire blood.

Kaleb's. Not mine.

Aren't you worried
I'll jump in front of a bus

and become an immortal badass?

I figured you'd already
been down that road before.

Well, that was before I knew
how much being human sucks.

But still, I got to say,
uh, beats being a monster.

Thank you for keeping your promise.

I'd be a hypocrite

if I expected you to make a sacrifice
that I wasn't willing to make.

Oh, not another bill.

The opposite.

It's the money we owe you
and a... a ticket out of town.

Seriously? You're letting me go?

Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna do
that transfusion spell again.

My friends and I
will figure something out.

Are we friends?

Close enough.

So here's my friendly advice.
k*ll my father while you can.

I know he's in the body
of someone you love,

but the longer you leave him in there,

the more of a chance
Malivore has to win.

I've been thinking about that
a lot recently.

I've been wondering...

what do you think it looks like
if Malivore wins?

I think, uh, it'll start with revenge.

Against anyone who's ever wronged him.

It's a long list,

most recently made longer by you
and everyone at your school.

And then the hunger will lead the way.

An eternal, bottomless well

that can never be filled
but must be fed.

And not just on monsters.

He has a taste for humans now.

And those he devours
will be lost from memory forever.

Legions of lives
consumed into the blackness,

erased from existence in an instant.

Yeah.

Pretty much what I thought, too.

Well, at least
it's not your problem anymore.

I can take it from here.

You've earned the right
to be your new human self in peace.

Have a nice life, Clarke.

Uh, actually, uh, my name is Ryan.

Then have a nice life, Ryan.

Uh...

Wait, I don't know
if I should tell you this,

but when I was under that spell,

there was a moment where I had a window
into Malivore's mind.

You should talk to Dr. Saltzman
about Landon.

He's gonna be okay.

I think that he's slightly concussed,

but he won't need any vampire blood.

And there's Boswellia
in the witches' garden.

That'll reduce his swelling.

Great.

Well, he can sleep it off until then.
Lead the way.

Actually, would you mind doing it?

Something's going on with Finch,
and I think that there's

some unresolved things
that I need to deal with.

I'm on it.

And after today,
at least one of us should get the girl.

You just can't stop yourself
from saving people,

can you, E-ssential?

LANDON: Help!

Is anyone there?

Please... help me!

(CHAINS JANGLING)

Someone...

get me out of here.

Help me!

Hey. I was wondering where you were.

I'm sorry. Today got intense,
so I picked up a shift to clear my head.

I'm sorry.

So, it wasn't about the Merge?

♪ I want to believe that... ♪

I knew that there was something wrong.

Can you blame me?

I know it takes some time
to open up in a new relationship,

but I feel like,

"I have a - chance
of surviving my early s"?

You know, that might have been
good to know before we started dating.

I know... it's hard.

That's why I didn't tell you
in the first place.

And you're right.

The Merge might be what kills me.

And I've made peace with that.

I guess all I can do
is just hope that you can, too.

There's nothing peaceful

about counting the days
until you lose someone you love.

♪ Tell me where's the magic
in the madness ♪

Trust me.

Did you just say...?

Not on purpose.

♪ Keep threading the needle ♪

♪ I'm a spinning record... ♪

I don't know if I can do this, Jo.

♪ If I give up my possessions ♪

♪ Will I find the answer
to the question? ♪

I'm sorry.

♪ Flowers in a grove ♪

♪ Magic in the madness ♪

♪ Should be lovely,
instead it's tragic ♪

♪ Tell me where's the magic
in the madness... ♪

ALARIC: He just left?

- I've been looking for him everywhere.
- Oh, man.

I'm adding this to the list of things
I'm never telling his mother.

Found him.

Humans. So gullible.

(ETHAN GASPS)

So fragile.

Don't hurt him.

You're in no position
to be making demands.

Let me go, or he dies.

(GUTTURAL GASPING)

KALEB: Doc had no choice, Hope.

He chose to lie to me, and so did you.

After how hard I'm trying
to work as a team,

and now I can't even trust you.

What happened? What's wrong?

Malivore escaped.

Actually, I let him go.

And why the hell would you do that?

I will tell you everything.

But first I should start
with what I know about Landon.

You're gonna k*ll me, right?

I mean, that's what supervillains do.

Not this one.

I'm just looking to hitch a ride.

Well, why don't you just take my truck?

Seriously, man. It's no problem.

Who said anything about a truck?

(MUFFLED GROANING)
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