06x20 - Triple Dip and an Overhand Grip

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Mom". Aired: September 2013 to present.*
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"Mom" follows the life of a single mother who, after dealing with her battle with alcoholism and drug abuse, decides to restart her life in Napa Valley, California, working as a waitress and attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
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06x20 - Triple Dip and an Overhand Grip

Post by bunniefuu »

Here you go.

Yeah, I used to clap
like that for cocaine.

Mmm. I started thinking
about this during the meeting.

Was it while this one was sharing?

'Cause I was thinking about sloppy Joes.

Are they really sloppy? And who's Joe?

That was a really
heartfelt share, you guys.

Oh, honey, I listened.

Yeah? What was it about?

You...

[clears throat]: and pain and...

how glad you are to be sober.

You were listening!

- Hey.
- OTHERS: Hey!

- You're back!
- How was prison?

Well, I got to bring
a sandwich and leave,

so way better than last time.

Tammy did a great job

making amends to some
of her fellow inmates.

And I totally lucked
out, 'cause two were dead.

One natural causes;
one shanked in the yard.

Man, I do not miss
those volleyball games.

MARJORIE: Yeah.

Well, she's gonna make a donation
to charity in their names.

Yeah, you said that a lot in
the car, but I never agreed.

Yeah, she's big on charities.

I went to make an
amends to a dry cleaners,

but the shop was gone. Next
thing I know, I'm writing

a check to save a bunch of
animals I used to wear as coats.

And how did you feel afterwards?

Light as a feather. Shut up.

So, who's next on your list?

Oh, the foster parents
Bonnie and I lived with.

Yeah, I-I keep pushing it down,
but I think I got to do it.

Oh, honey, you're ready.

I don't know. Bonnie, when
you did it, how'd it go?

Classic amends.

Start out awkward,
push through the pain,

end it with hugs and tears,
and afterwards I felt...

How did you put it, Jill? It was so apt.

Yes. Light as a feather.

- Too much detail. She's lying.
- Mm-hmm.

Never snitch on the family.

Oh, Bonnie, you got to make amends

to your foster parents.

- They were there for you when...
- Back it down, mouse.

Wait, it's perfect.
You can come with me.

We'll do it together. Amends buddies.

That's a great idea.

Is it, Marge?

You should do it.

I mean, what else have you got going on?

Well, aren't you full of
opinions with your messy mouth.

Ow. Ow!

Stay still. You dipped
your napkin in my water.

Well, I'm still drinking mine.

This is so weird.

[laughs] It looks exactly the same.

Oh, my God, check it out. I'm shaking.

Can we agree this is 20 minutes maximum

unless there are snacks?

- Works for me.
- Uh-huh.

Wait, what are you doing?

I'm just making sure
they still live here.

Here we go. Electric
bill to Claire Dickinson.

All right, this is really happening.

Think she wants this
Bed Bath & Beyond coupon?

I need towels.

We're here to make an amends.
You're already stealing?

It really is like old times.

Can I help you?

Mrs. Dickinson, it's us.

We used to live here.

Bonnie and Tammy?

[gasps] Oh, my goodness.

You remember?

Of course I do!

You're the tallest girls I ever saw.

Come in, come in.

She got old.

- We got old.
- Not that old.



Sorry, ladies, no bistro for us tonight.

Marjorie got tickets to
a show and invited me.

Oh, well, doesn't that sound like fun.

I'm sure there's more
tickets if you want to come.

The Napa Valley Retirement Home
is doing The Book of Mormon.

We don't need to do
everything as a group.

All right, Wendy, we better get going.

Curtain's up at 6:00.

Have fun.

Yeah, so I guess it's just
you and me at the bistro.

- Yep. The cool kids.
- [chuckles]

And that's not just what I call
us... I've heard other people say it.

Oh. [clears throat]

What?

Those two guys are staring at us.

Oh, now they're coming over
here, they're moving fast,

and here they are.

- Hey!
- Hey.

Um, really liked your share. Mark.

Christy. [chuckles]

I don't even know what I said.

Whenever I share, I sort of black out

and then come to when I sit back down.

Well, you were talking about your mom.

Yep, that sounds like me.

[clears throat] Christy, we should go.

- Well, Dane and I were...
- [loudly]: I'm Dane.

Hi.

We-we were wondering if you'd
like to get a coffee with us.

[loudly]: We've been
wanting to ask for a while

but we're scared of Marjorie.

You're doing it again.

Um, we usually grab a bite after
the meeting at Duke's Diner.

- Oh, we wish we could, but...
- Sure! Why not!

Why in the hell would you say yes?

I thought it'd be fun to
be spontaneous for once.

Then wear something that isn't a hoodie!

Hey. Need I point out, neither
of us has a guy right now.

I don't think we can afford to be picky.

But those guys have heard our shares.

They know everything about us.

They know you're a former
stripper/gambling addict

who still lives with her mom,

and they know I've
had my teeth bleached!

Look, this is good. We don't have

to break it to them that we're in AA.

That whole, "Would you
like something to drink?"

"No, I'll have ginger ale,
'cause I'm on antibiotics."

Or, "I'm still hungover
from last night."

Or, "I might be pregnant."

Mm. Bet that guy didn't call back.

Actually, he did.

Weird.

All right, so which one do you want?

Double divorce pill-head with
kids who don't talk to him,

or heroin addict whose bottom
was waking up in a motel

with something stuck in his bottom.

He hit a bottom bottom.

[both laugh]

[sighs]

What? I still want to look good.

Just look at the two of you!

Oh, I only wish Frank were here.

He would have loved this surprise.

I know this is awkward, but is he, like,

at the store or dead... ?

He passed ten years ago.

I'm so sorry.

- He adored you, Tammy.
- Oh.

I'm sorry, too.

Thanks.

Oh! I want to show you something.

Oh...

Well, two things haven't changed...

this carpet, and she still hates me.

She does not hate you.

How would you know? You're
too busy getting adored

by dead Frank.

[laughs] Do you recognize these?

No way! I made those for
you, like, in eighth grade.

- I love them, and I still
use them all the time. - Aw.

Sweet! Do you have anything I made?

The only thing you
ever made me was crazy.

You know, speaking of crazy,
that's kind of why we're here.

Um, now that I'm sober,

I want to make an amends to you.

Um, the night you kicked me out,

I came back and I
destroyed your rosebushes.

Not a great move in shorts,
but still, I'm sorry.

I just assumed it was Bonnie.

Nope. And for the record,

Iraq... not my fault, either.

From that night forward, I just
blamed you for every bad thing I did,

and I carried that resentment
around with me for years,

but you are not responsible
for how my life turned out.

You don't know how much it means to me

that you came all this way to apologize.

[Bonnie clears throat]

Well, I've got something to say, too.

I also got sober, and I also
would like to make an amends.

I smoked marijuana in your house.

I snuck in boys.

I stole money and booze.

And this coupon.

And it was me that
planted Frank's wallet

in Tammy's backpack, which
led you to kicking her out.

Anyway...

I hope you can accept my amends

and just know that I don't
live my life like that anymore.

Okay.

How about I get us some cake?

[sighs]

I'm so glad we did this.

Well, of course you are.

"I use your potholder every day!"

- You're being so immature.
- Shut up!

- You shut up.
- You shut up.

Quit it! Stop it!

Get off me!

- Girls!
- [gasps]

Girls!

BOTH: Sorry, Mrs. Dickinson.

Well, here we are.

Oh-ho, wow!

Nothing's changed!

Yes, we've covered that
nothing has changed.

Oh, my God, I'm 14 again.

This calls for hot chocolate.

My favorite. I remember.

And I'll take one, too.

You can hear me, right?
My voice still works?

Come on, Bonnie, it's not that bad.

She didn't even acknowledge my amends.

She totally blew me off.

Well, I don't think that's the point.

I mean, I think we're
here to clean up the past,

and if we get a hug out of it, great.

Yeah, says the girl who got a hug

and a confirmed hot chocolate.

Mine's still up in the air.

I remember my first month here.

I would just stare at the
ceiling and count those dots

until I fell asleep.

All I was doing was
planning ways to escape.

Well, you did, out that
window, five nights a week.

Ah.

Hey.

There's my old getaway tree. [chuckles]

Maybe I could use it now.

You do, and I'm telling.

Yeah, you always did.

The messed up thing is,

as much as I hated this place,

this ended up being the
best part of my childhood.

Don't you wish you could go back

and tell 14-year-old Bonnie,

"Your life is gonna work out"?

[scoffs] She wouldn't have listened.

She would have flipped
me off and stolen my car.

Okay, where the hell are they?

Do you think it's
possible we got stood up?

I think it's possible you got stood up.

Which is crazy, because they were not...

great.

So, what do you want to do?
You want to stay?

We could eat like it's not a date.

You mean like chicken
fingers, onion rings

and mozzarella sticks?

Or something from the grown-up menu.

Onion rings, onion rings, onion rings!

Hey, Mrs. Dickinson.

Oh, hi. Where's Tammy?

She found her journal.
I thought I'd leave her alone

with her rudimentary
drawings of David Cassidy.

- Need any help?
- No, I've-I've got it.

You know, a couple fun
facts I didn't get to share.

I have a daughter.

She's in law school.

I have a fiancé.

He's in a wheelchair.

Yeah. I'm that good a person.

I manage an apartment building.

Wish I'd ended on
"wheelchair," but you get it.

That's very nice, Bonnie.

"Very nice"?

I'm a frickin' miracle.

You know what?

You know what, forget it.

But I got to tell you,

this is just like when we were kids.

You always loved Tammy and you hated me.

I never hated you.

Then why did Tammy get
all the special treatment?

Sit down.

I may have given extra
attention to Tammy

because she came from
such a difficult situation.

So did I.

This was my ninth foster home.

But it was Tammy's first.

And it was right after the incident.

Well, I had incidents, too.

Plenty of 'em.

Yeah.

But your father didn't k*ll your mother.

I assumed that you knew.

[scoffs]

Oh, she never spoke
to me about it either.

The social worker told me.

God.

She was so fragile when she came here.

I needed to make an extra effort

so she knew she was loved.

All this time, I thought
you just didn't like me.


Oh, I guess that wasn't fair to you.

Well, I will say, you
didn't make it easy.

Any time I reached out to you,

you had your walls up pretty high.

I eventually just made sure

that you had a roof over your head

and food on your plate and...

clothes on your back.

I'd argue with you, but I was...

well, let's say a handful.

By the time I got to you,

you just looked like
the rest of 'em to me.

Well, for what it's worth,

it sounds like

you have made a great life for yourself.

[chuckles] I am proud of you, Bonnie.

You are?

Why don't I get you a hot chocolate.

I want to take these
onion rings home with me

and do terrible things to them.

Dip it in sauce.

Which one?

All three.

- At the same time?
- Just do it.

Oh!

We should bottle this.
We'd make millions.

We'll call it ran-barbe-tard.

Andy taught me the
magic of the triple dip.

Mmm. You really liked him, didn't you?

It was the first time I was with a guy

and didn't once think about my ex.

It's been so long since I've
felt like that about anyone.

I do find it odd that you're so, so, so,

so single all the time.

I mean, you're pretty, you're smart,

you're nice.

Do you want to go out with me?

Check back in a year.

- Aw.
- Hmm.

What are you doing?

Putting it in my phone.

"April 2020.

Lesbian, question mark."

Aw.

[chuckles]

Uh, should we get out of here?

Yeah. Let's go see a movie or something.

Okay. I'll get this.

You get the popcorn.

[sighs] This turned out
to be a pretty good night.

I know. I had fun.

Screw those guys, right?

Not even if I was still drinking.

- Hey!
- [chuckling]

We're so sorry. Dane's
car wouldn't start.

- Subaru!
- CHRISTY: Uh,

- no, no, no, no, no, no problem.
- No...

Oh, my God, that was the
longest 27 minutes of my life.

By the way, nice fake migraine.

Mm. I learned that in
tenth grade gym class.

Never did climb that rope.

It wasn't as bad as I
thought it was gonna be.

That's 'cause you had Mark.

[loudly]: I had Dane!

Mark was kind of nice.

Oh, come on. He had the
overhand grip on his fork.

Looked like a three-year-old
eating pudding.

- [chuckles]
- [siren wailing]

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Well, you were speeding.

[scoffs] I'm not the
one who picked a movie

that starts in five minutes.

Well, at least I picked one.

If I left it up to you,
we'd still be sitting there.

Is this what it's gonna
be like when we're dating?

Wait, we were joking about that, right?

Mm.

[chuckles]

Good evening, Officer... Andy.

That's not funny.

Eh, I don't know. Sort of funny.

Oh, Andy! Hey.

Hi.

It's really great to see you.

Great to see you, too.

License and registration, please.

Oh. Even though we're friends?

Okay.

So, uh, how you been?

Good. You?

Good, good.

You?

Still good.

Good.

I'm good, too.

Not "I can afford a
speeding ticket" good,

but good.[chuckles]

You know, uh, you popped
into my head the other day.

I was in your neighborhood.

There was a homeless guy
swimming in someone's pool.

Ooh, I heard about that. Fully naked.

Not true. He was wearing one sock.

Strategically placed.

- [laughs]
- [chuckles]

Oh, ow.

You okay?

I think I'm getting a migraine.

Maybe if I got a little fresh air.

Would that be okay?

Sure.

Oh, thanks.

I'll just leave my door open,

in case you feel like sitting down.

[chuckles]: Okay.

Teach her your migraine trick?

Yeah. She's still working on it.

Who does "ow"? [chuckling]

May I?

- Please.
- Thank you.

[grunting]

Mother of pearl.

[muttering]: Geez. Midsize.

There we go. [grunts]

[grunts loudly]

Nice to see you.

Thanks.

Look, I'm-I'm sorry
I ignored your texts.

And phone calls and e-mails

and the Edible Arrangement.

Well, thanks to you, kiwi
is now a part of my life.

- Oh. [laughs]
- [chuckles] Yeah.

You know, I'm-I'm...

feeling pretty bad about
the way I left things.

I... I may have overreacted.

Go on.

Look, you got to understand, um...

my divorce really did a number on me.

And, uh, then you come along and...

Well, look at you.

Go on.

[chuckles]

I don't know. I guess, uh...

I guess I just... I figured
it wasn't gonna work out,

so I-I pulled the rip cord.

Maybe a little too quickly.

I think we both messed up.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

CHRISTY [over P.A.]: Kiss her.

How the hell did she get into my car?

And let me go with a warning.

All right, I got to
get her out of there.

- [siren wailing]
- Um, um, I'll call you.

- Sorry!
- Okay.

- How do I turn it off?
- [grunts] Let's just...

- I'm just gonna get out the
way I came in. - [honking horn]

Here we are.

I love this.

I had no pictures of
us when we were kids.

It's almost like we're sisters.

Yeah.

And like a sister, if
you ever want to talk...

I know. Thanks.

I mean about anything.

I'm... I'm always here for you.

Claire told you, didn't she?

I really don't want to talk about it.

That's cool.

My mom was so pretty.



Well, well, well,

Cinderella, your pumpkin just
left with his shoes in his hand.

Yeah.

We can't go to the
Tuesday meeting anymore.
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