02x24 - Finalé Part Deux (Part 2)

[bunniefuu]

What's going on?

Bridget got suspended from
school for organizing a protest.

What were you protesting,

The lack of mirrors
in school hallways?

No, but am I the only one
concerned about that?

I mean, hello,
beauty discrimination.

Now that's the bridget I know,

Not the one who stages protests
to save frogs from getting dissected.

Okay, that's because she
didn't organize the sit-in. I did.

What?

Well, she covered for me
so I wouldn't get in trouble

And I'd be able to go on my
summer program to europe.

Well, that makes more sense...

Yet I don't feel happier.

Oh yeah, thanks
by the way, bridget.

Yeah, because of you, my
girlfriend's gonna run off to europe

And fall in love with some
fancy french guy named jose.

Jose is spanish.

You've already met him?

All right, this is it. I am going
to go down to that school

And make this right
with the principal.

Yippee, I get to
deal with him again.

That's okay. Mom, you know
what? You don't have to do that.

I can live with my punishment.

Bridget, you got suspended.

That means you're gonna miss
the last two weeks of school.

Well, you know, I get
a week jump on my tan.

And truth be told, I am
not prepared for finals.

Honey, it can affect
you getting into college.

Hey, no one said life was fair.

- You'd miss the prom.
- Oh my god,
what have I done?

Whoo-hoo!

Well, you can all
start sucking up to me.

You're looking at the new roadie
for aerosmith's summer tour 2004.

What's up?

A roadie? Isn't that the guy that
jumps in a barrel to distract the bull?

That's rodeo clown.

All right? A roadie is the dude who
moves all the band's equipment around.

Oh, much better.

That's the coolest job
ever. How'd you get it?

Last night I kinda
bumped into steve...

Steven tyler...

At his hotel. I was dressed as a
waiter delivering room service.

And I was like, "yo,
stefan, you know,

How about a little hookup
for your summer tour?"

And he was like, "sure."
And I was like, "sweet."

And the cop was
like, "I'm f*ring once."

"Sure"? That's
what he said? "Sure."

That's your job offer?

Yeah. You know, it's
gonna happen. You'll see.

Pretty soon I'll be knee-deep in
groupies rocking out to aerosmith.

Now I'm gonna go downstairs
and try on some headbands.

Oh, grandpa, we
should get going.

About a half hour before they
feed the snakes at the pet store.

I'm not in the mood, rory.

Not in the mood to see
snakes swallow gerbils?

Think you know a guy.

Dad, are you doing okay?

You... You never
miss feeding day.

Who are you?

Dad?

I'm fine. No, i...

I do have something on my mind:

Your mom called.

And she broke up with
paco and it got me thinking.

You know, maybe I ought to
give her one last sh*t at this.

Excuse me. What's with the sign?

Oh, we started a campaign to
protest bridget's suspension.

You know, some of us are writing
her in for student body president.

- You're kidding?
- Girl: no.

We just get really
upset when we think of

Your poor sister stuck at home,
suffering for her political beliefs.

Yeah, I just use 45 on my
face, baby oil on my legs,

15 Everywhere else
and then cook till done.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm... Ooh,
brain freeze. Mmm!

Cate hennessy is
here to see you.

Again? I'm really not in
the mood to deal with...

Cate! It's good to see you.

Look, I've got to talk
to you about bridget.

- You have got it
all wrong, ed.
- Apparently I do.

I never would have figured
her for an animal-rights activist,

Not with all the
leather she wears.

That is just it.

Bridget did not
stage that sit-in.

Kerry did.

Ah. Okay well, I'm willing
to admit when I'm wrong.

Carole, would you give me the forms
for reinstating bridget hennessy, please...

Thank you.

And the forms for
suspending kerry hennessy?

- What?
- Wait wait!

You can't do that. You
can't suspend kerry.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I can.

Yeah, but kerry is one of the best
students this school has ever had.

One of the best? The best.

Excuse me? Better
than min su li?

He shouldn't even
be here. He's six!

Sure... Emotionally.

Not now, sweetie.

Did you just call me "sweetie"?

Please, ed.

Look, you know, rules are rules

And i... I actually
have a meeting.

All right, well, what
could be more important

Than rectifying the
unjust suspension

Of one of this
school's best students?

Well, how about a hot-lunch
program for the poor kids?

Well, how poor are we talking?

Quite poor.

And I really am late.
I'll tell you what:

We can suspend kerry's suspension
until we figure something out, okay?

Ed, are you blowing me off?

No no no. How about
if we meet for coffee?

- Okay. When?
- Thursday.

- After school.
- It's a date.

All right. Okay, now kerry, see?

It's all gonna be worked out.

It's all gonna be worked out?

You just agreed to go
on a date with my principal!

Uh, steve, just getting the
lowdown on the roadie gig.

Need the detes, all right?

So call me. I'm here.

I mean, I'm not... I'm not
waiting by the phone.

That's desperate. I
don't... You know, come on.

I'm cool. I just... I
got some stuff going.

But seriously,
give me a jingle, pal.

I love you.

God! I hate machines.

They get me nervous.

And apparently a little gay.

By the way, steven tyler's
people called you back already.

What?

Yeah, I wrote down
the start date for you.

Well, gimme it!

Ha ha ha ha!

"March 20 never
of 2000... Suck it."

So uncool, dude.

Oh, classic.

C.j... You mind if I
ask you a question?

Yes, if it comes to that
point, I'll pull the plug.

That wasn't the question.

You've been dumped by
a lot of girls, correct?

Yeah, a few.

A few hundred, yes.

Yeah, and of those
girls, were there any

That you wanted to win back?

Yeah, uh, a few.

But they're always,
"you know, it's better

If we're friends now."

Or, "how'd you find
out where I moved?"

Or, "I'm into girls
now." You know.

That was a mistake.

Oh kerry! Oh, my goodness.

You are never gonna
believe what happened to me.

No no no, me first: mom agreed
to go on a date with principal gibb.

I did not.

We are just gonna have coffee
and discuss my delinquent children.

- He said, "it's a date."
- It's an expression.

Yeah, which means "let's date."

Okay okay, you know
what? I can handle this.

Where are you having the coffee?

- Does it matter?
- Oh, so much to learn.

Okay, if he takes you to
one of those coffee chains,

It means he's just
there to talk business

But there's potential
for something more.

And if he takes you to
an intimate coffee house,

That means he's
completely into you.

And if he shows
up 15 minutes late,

That means he's outside waiting
for you to buy your own coffee.

Don't hate the
player; hate the game.

President! Bridget was
elected student body president!

You're kidding?
How'd that happen?

A bunch of idiots wrote her in.

Well now, kerry,
you said so yourself:

There's nothing
to be jealous about.

"You know, kerry, you said so
yourself: there's nothing to be..."

President!

And do you know what this means?

She gets to go to
washington for the summer.

Oh ho ho! Come on.

Yeah, it's some "future
leaders of america" hoo-ha.

Whatever.

This is what's wrong
with democracy.

Hey, I fought to
defend democracy.

Yeah, and look at korea
now. You kicked ass.

I would like to propose a toast

To bridget, the future
leader of america.

I'm so glad I'm going to europe.

Well, before we eat, I have a
little announcement to make:

I have decided to take
a trip down to florida

To see a certain lady.

All right, grandpa. 1500
Miles for a booty call.

Who's the talent?

Your grandmother.

I got two. The good-looking one?

Well, we were together
for almost 50 years

So I think that's
worth fighting for.

And if it doesn't work out, I
can still pick up my golf clubs.

So mom, what are you wearing
on your date tomorrow?

Date? What date?

Look, for the last
time, principal gibb and I

Are just gonna have a
little talk over coffee.

You two are having coffee?

I can't believe this.

Oh, for crying out loud.

Rory!

Grandpa, you busy?

I'm just trying to
open this jar of nuts.

- Can I talk to you?
- I'm always here for you.

Here, open this.

What's on your mind?

Show off.

Do you think my mom will
meet someone some day?

Well, I think
that's a possibility.

You can't expect her
to be alone forever.

But she's not alone. She's
got bridget, kerry and me.

I guess that's not enough.

I mean, it wasn't
enough for you.

You're leaving us to
go get grandma back.

Oh, I see.

You know, even if the
old bird does take me back,

I'll still be in your life.

Yeah, I know. We'll
talk on the phone.

But we won't go to ballgames
or watch snakes eat...

All that stuff I did
with dad and you.

Now I guess I'll have
to do that with harvey.

Harvey?

The guy I imagine
mom's gonna meet.

He sells waterbeds and
drives a cutlass ciera.

He's always rubbing me
on the head and saying,

"Hey there, skipper."

Yeah, I hate that guy.

Well, you know, rory,

I've been thinking about
driving down to florida

Instead of flying...

Get out to see the country.

But those rides
get a little lonely.

You wouldn't be interested
in tagging along, would you?

On a road trip? Totally.

Mom, grandpa and me are
going to drive down to florida

When school gets out. Can I go?

Uh, I think that's a great idea.

Sweet!

I'm gonna go make a mix c.d.

Grandpa, what do you like better,
west-coast or east-coast rap?

Surprise me.

Is everything okay, sweetheart?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I just realized that...

With the kids and
you gone this summer,

I'm... I'm gonna be here alone.

And I've... I've never
been here alone.

Well, maybe a little alone
time will do you some good.

You could do some reading,
take some long walks.

Maybe you can meet
someone for coffee.

No, nah. It's way
too soon for that.

Hey, there's no rush, baby girl.

It's just when that time comes,

Stay away from
guys named harvey.

Let me just get organized here.

Is something funny?

Yeah, we're... We're
in the cafeteria.

Yeah.

We're having coffee
in the cafeteria.

Somebody pour something in
there when I wasn't looking?

No, it's just
something my kids said.

Oh, your kids... The
two hellraisers.

Well, actually, there's three.

Oh, no no no. There's a third?

Uh-huh. You'll be
having him next year.

Oh, well, I look forward
to suspending him.

Now look, about kerry...

Animal rights are
very important to her.

So I'm not surprised that she
would protest a frog dissection.

Hmm. Well, we don't
dissect animals here.

The frogs that kerry saw are
part of a senior genetics experiment.

And her anatomy
final is on a computer.

Oh.

Well, kerry obviously
didn't know that.

Well, min su li did.

Come on. You don't
want to suspend

The rare student who
actually cares, do you?

No. No, I don't. And
kerry is a good kid.

And I'm willing to see if
there's a way to let her back in

Within the rules, okay?

So I looked this up.

It says here:

"If a parent disagrees
with a principal's decision,

The parent may appeal
to an ombudsman."

Well, fine. Where is he?

Well, here's the thing:

Um, I haven't appointed one yet.

- But it's your
job to appoint one.
- Yes.

You are right. And
because of that,

I hereby appoint
myself ombudsman.

Cate, what brings you
to see the ombudsman?

This is ridiculous.

Well, I really think that's
for the ombudsman to decide.

Okay.

Would you please let
kerry back into school?

Mmm.

Okay.

God, you know, I don't remember
you being this funny in high school.

What, are you kidding?
I was hysterical.

By the way, I'm
sorry if I sometimes

Come off like a tyrant.

It's just because I realize how
important discipline is for kids,

Being a parent myself.

So you're a dad.

What's your wife do?

She mainly blames
me for our divorce.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Aw, that's okay. We
wanted different things.

She wanted somebody that
wasn't a sl*ve to his job,

And I wanted someone

That wasn't sleeping
with my best friend.

More coffee?

- Oh, no.
- What's wrong?

It's my schedule for
my trip to washington.

It's so stupid. I don't even get
to meet anybody important...

Just some secretary.

Of state!

What's she gonna
do? Make me coffee?

That's it. I can't
take this anymore...

The posters, the interviews,
the meetings with world leaders.

I am the one who
organized the sit-in.

I should be getting
all the credit.

Oh, I see. It's all
about getting credit.

And you had us all believing that
you cared about protecting frogs.

Okay, fine, I'll prove to
you that I protect the frogs.

- What are you gonna do,
kiss one?
- Oh, pff!

Oh, yeah. Oh, you kissed frogs!

- I have never kissed a frog.
- Yeah!

You wanted a boyfriend so
bad, you picked that frog up...

I picked him up, I
looked at the face...

You looked at the face
'cause you wanted to get kissed.

You love frogs!

Okay, so sue me... I
care about the animals.

I'm gonna go to school right
now and you are coming with me.

Haven't I done enough?

Nobody is there! The principal's
on a date with our mother.

Move it, c.j.!

Rough day at the cabbage patch?

We need to buy an ice
cooler for the car,

A police scanner and
a pair of fuzzy dice.

We're not leaving for a month.

While we're going to the
store, might as well get me

A bigger suitcase
for all my stuff.

All your stuff? What do you got:

Two pairs of pants, a belt
and a bag of pistachios?

C.j., Why don't you
come with us to florida?

Well, two things, hormone:

One is the frantic wind from
the hand-waving by grandpa

Behind me saying no.

I'll be with aerosmith, man.

More importantly, I'm
gonna be on the road

Setting up mikes, moving
amps, picking up panties.

It's rough work
but that's the job.

Have you even talked
to these people yet?

Not per se, but steven said...

I know what he
said. He said "sure."

But you're not 18 anymore.

You know, you can't be
sitting around waiting

For these stupid adolescent
fantasies to come true.

Eh, maybe you're right.

I mean, they haven't
responded to any of my letters

And calls and poetry.

- Your what?
- Nothing.

C.j., You are at a fork

In the road of your life.

I know. It's so stupid.

You know what? I kinda counted
on my whole summer with these guys.

You could still come with
me and grandpa to florida.

Come on, c.j., It'll be great.

Okay okay, simmer, mary.
All right, I'll go. I'll go.

Well then, let's
all go to the store.

And I'm not gonna let rory
get a pair of fuzzy dice...

That aren't big enough.

Let me get my sunglasses.
I'll see you out there.

C.j.,

I'm really really psyched
that you're going...

Really psyched.

Me too, buddy.

Now simmer.

Man: yeah, this
message is for c.j.

This is terry london,
head roadie for aerosmith.

Steven says he still wants
you for the roadie gig.

He really dug your poetry.

So if you're still interested,

Meet us at the
airport at midnight.

Bring your passport, your own
headband and some penicillin.

Come on, c.j., Let's go.

Computerized voice:
message erased.

I'm coming!

Well, I have to go.

And thanks so much for kerry.

- Sure.
- And thanks for the coffee.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

What?

Well, you know, you
might find this funny,

But my kids actually
had me convinced

That this might be
a... Well, you know, a...

Oh.

Ha! Never mind.

Good night.

Would you like to
have dinner sometime?

Excuse me?

That just came out.

It was totally inappropriate.

But would you?

No, that's right.
Don't answer. Don't!

It's just... You know,
my shrink told me

That I should try
to take more risks

And... Ha ha ha! Oh, god.

Well, now you
know I see a shrink.

Okay, well, I'm gonna
go into my office now

And stay there until I'm
pretty sure you're not here.

Whoo boy.

Wow.

All right.

What am I gonna do, paul?

This is big.

I need a sign.

And I mean biblical.

You know, like a burning bush

Or parting of the seas
or swarms of locusts.

I need something.

- Come here!
- Come!

Go. Far away, that
way. To the door.

- You're free.
- Go.

- Go go!
- Go be free.

Go go go. Shoo shoo.

You don't shoo frogs.

- Go go.
- You're free!