05x06 - The Enemy Within

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Young Dracula". Aired September 2006 - March 2014.*
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Britsh children's horror drama that revolves around Vlad and Ingrid, along with their father Count Dracula.
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05x06 - The Enemy Within

Post by bunniefuu »

CACKLING

Ah, my family, my blood!

What a night for the Draculas!

Those Shadow Warriors went down!

Yes, they did. Now I want to hear all your wonderful stories

of Dracula heroism.

You mean like how I defeated one of the enemy single-handed?

Only because I distracted it.

Yes, yes, yes! I want to hear them all.

Renfield, prepare some party snacks!

It's not every day we get to celebrate such a victory.

Crunchy bug burgers coming right up.

- Dad?
- Yes.

It's good news and everything,

but don't you think you're getting a little bit carried away?

- Oh, here he goes - Vlad, the fun sponge.
- Yes.

Sally and George are really shaken up.

Just because you're not the hero of the moment.

We may have won for the moment, but Ramanga is still out there,

waiting for his chance to destroy us all.

Oh, come on, Vladdy, if we can destroy the Shadow Warriors,

we can destroy anything. Or anyone.

Maybe we should destroy all party poopers.

Vladimir... Vladdy, Vladdy, Vladdy.

When there's a reason to celebrate,

a Dracula celebrates.

Yes, well, I'll leave you to it.

I'm going to find Sally and George.

Now, then, children, prepare your tales of terror.

But first, I need to freshen up

and change into something a little more befitting the occasion.

Who are we kidding? He'll always be Dad's favourite.

I'm awake. Totally awake. Come on.

What are you drawing?

Oh, it's just an idea for that sculpture for Vlad.

Not that it'll happen now that we're leaving.

Mum, I don't want to leave, and you need sleep.

I'm not tired. I am at full zing.

Argh! Ow!

It's just Renfield, Mum.

Sorry, it's just I keep seeing those shadows everywhere.

Now we have to go. What time does the sun rise?

- Not for eight hours.
- Oh...

Found 'em. Only the crunchiest for Renfield's home-made bug burgers.

Ah, fancy giving me a hand, do you?

I'll help if Vlad does.

Well, who doesn't love bug burgers?

Brilliant! Let's make bug burgers. That'll keep me awake.

If slightly disgusted. How do we start?

Bug crusher. Squeeze out the juices and pummel the shells.

- Pig lard.
- Badger breath.

Ah, yeah.

- No, pig lard. Top shelf.
- Ah!

- You OK, Mum?
- Of course.

I am loving these little bug burgers.

I'll be sad to leave them...

in seven hours and minutes precisely.

I'm sorry, Vlad. But it's just not safe here.

I don't even want to close my eyes in case...

You should sleep. Nothing's going to happen in the next few hours.

Get some rest. Please. You've got a long drive ahead.

Ah!

- I'm fine!
- It's OK, it was an accident.

There are too many accidents waiting to happen here, Vlad.

Renfield, get rid of that rotting box.

Yes, Master. Sorry, Master.

This place is a death trap.

The sooner we get home, the better.

Oh, yes...it's just like vampire fashion week all over again.

THUDDING

What the devil was that?

Renfield!

WHOOSHING

Renfield, what was that?

I'm not entirely sure.

- Probably just the live lemmings.
- Oh.

- COUNT DRACULA:
- Renfield! Renfield! Come quickly! Renfield!

Would you mind braising the cockroaches, Miss George?

Don't just hover! Get out there!

It's not strictly my jurisdiction.

Well, I've just added

"doing absolutely everything I tell you to do"

to your job description. Now get out! Out!

Argh! BANGING

Well, well? What monstrous fiend att*cked you?

Nothing.

I just stubbed my toe. I tripped over a gargoyle.

What was all the banging about, you idiot?

What? Oh, yeah, that... It was a toad. It's asking to see you.

Oh, a toad? Oh, goodie. I haven't had a toad in years!

How very exciting.

Oh.

Hello. I am Count Dracula.

Ew.

If I have to.

Thank you very much.

Oh, thank you!

Vlad's right, you know - you should always be ready.

You never know where or when your enemy will strike next.

I can protect myself.

Sure you can.

But just in case, I'll be there to protect you too.

You saved my life. I won't forget that.

Dad's not fooled by you, you know?

Isn't fooled by what, exactly? Me saving the day?

Ever since you turned up, there's been nothing but trouble.

How long do you think it will take him

to realise that you are the trouble? You and the limpet.

Leave him out of it.

I'd hardly waste my time putting out fires I'd lit myself.

Well, I'm watching you... both of you.

Renfield! I have news!

Things just keep getting better and better!

Prepare a vat of victory potion.

And I want everyone gathered in the hall. Tell them it's important.

What day were you thinking of?

What? Today! Now, you clot!

Oh, and, Renfield, fetch the old, er...

you know, the old, er... the Empusa Goblet.

Oh...but isn't that for the most auspicious occasions?

Yes, and this is one of them. So fetch it pronto!

Yes, Master.

I don't want to go yet. But Mum won't let us stay.

George, don't stir.

She's right. It's not exactly the safest place in the world.

- Maybe you could come and live with us?
- I can't.

Why not? You're my brother, and, let's face it,

I like you a whole lot more than the people you're living with now.

There's more to it than that.

He could have my room, right, Mum?

He wouldn't get his coffin into the spare room. It's too small.

I can just imagine what the neighbours will say.

Tell him he has to.

I can't tell Vlad what to do.

I'm sorry, it was a daft idea.

No, it wasn't! You want it too.

Why don't you give us a minute?

Just say yes. It's easy.

Make it yes.

If you don't want to, it's OK.

Honestly, I understand.

No, I want to, but they're still in danger - even if they can't see it.

Ramanga could strike at any moment.

You're so brave...

and good.

You're everything I could ever have wanted in a son, Vlad.

You're an extraordinary person...

I mean, vampire....

I mean, pers-pire - that doesn't work, does it?!

All I know is, if anyone in my family is in danger,

I'll do whatever it takes.

Well, this has all the potential of being the dullest party ever.

Which means you'll fit right in.

FOOTSTEPS Ah, you're both here - good.

Master wants to see you in the hall.

He has an announcement to make.

What announcement?

Well, I imagine we'll find out, won't we?

When he announces...

..the announcement.

What about Vlad? Has he been summoned too?

Not yet, no.

- So we've been summoned first?
- Yes, but...

Interesting. What else did he say?

The Empusa Goblet.

He told me to fetch the Empusa Goblet.

Ren... What's the Empusa Goblet?

We only use it when there's earth-shattering news.

Good earth-shattering or bad earth-shattering?

Well, I think it's good.

What do you know?

Quite a lot, actually.

Spill!

Why should I?

Oh, put your fangs away, I'll tell you.

Vlad's coming to live with us.

Vlad's leaving?!

Mum's talking to him about it now.

She must have already told the Count.

So that's why he's summoned us - to announce his new successor.

I'm sure it was in here somewhere, Master. Will this do?

No, you idiot!

I can tell you now, Renfield,

if you've lost the Empusa Goblet,

terrible, horrible things will happen to you.

Ooh... Like what?

- Like that, Renfield.
- Fair enough.

What are you doing? We've been waiting for you.

- Renfield said you had some news.
- What, what? Oh, yes, yes, I do.

- I have...
- CLATTERING

Renfield! Would you be quiet?!

- I'm trying to look for the...
- Shush!

All right.

Today we have a real reason to celebrate.

A new horizon for the Draculas.

We already know. When were you going to tell us, little brother?

No. No, no, no. This doesn't have anything to do with Vlad.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yes, yes, yes - a new horizon for the Draculas...

Could you hurry this up? Someone should be patrolling.

- Oh, for suffering's sake!
- Ramanga is still out there.

I can safely say, Vladdy...

..that you are wrong.

I have news of great import - such historic triumph.

HE HUMS FANFARE

Ramanga...is dust!

Well, well, well? Oh, come on, somebody say something!

How do you know?

Dust? Do you mean dead?

I mean gone. Dust. Over. Zeroed.

That insignia, it's from the VHC, it's authentic.

- Oh, there you go.
- "The shame and dishonour of de-fanging was a blow

"far worse than any stake."

"Ramanga exiled himself to the Karakum desert.

"He walked through the night, then lay down in the place they call

"the Door to Hell.

"As the sun rose, Ramanga sacrificed himself to the agony of light."

Can I see?

Yes!

- Renfield?
- Hm?
- Have you found the old...

the Empusa Goblet yet?

Oh, come on!

If Ramanga's gone, doesn't that change everything?

Yeah. Maybe. If we're safe now, then...

Here it is! Renfield, prepare the Vamp Victory Potion.

The Draculas...are invincible!

RUMBLING

Stay down.

What is that creature?

That's no ordinary bat.

Look out!

Sorry - at least I'm trying to do something.

Yeah. And firebombing us into the bargain.

That would be convenient for you, wouldn't it?

We're all going to die! We're all going to die!

Ah! SQUEAKING

What are you doing? Now it could be anywhere.

Sorry, I was just...

I was just trying to get rid of it.

- Look, I'll go after it.
- No, Asan...

What is that?!

Ooh, I've got one too.

That blasted bat's brought in something nasty.

It's rotting us from the outside in!

There are no marks on us.

But we're getting worse. It's a vampire bat.

- We need to find it and destroy it!
- Now who's trying to be the hero?!

Why don't you just trundle off with your little breather family?

We can look after things here.

I'm not going anywhere until I see that bat finished.

Then we'll see.

Right, well, if it'll get you out of my hair, I'll find the bat myself.

- No,
- I
- will.
- No, no, no,

he who brings down the bat will have my eternal gratitude.

What if the "he" is a "she"?

Dream on. That bat's as good as mine.

Whoa! Oh, yes.

Oh, yes!

Right, start the search. We need... Really?

What?

Ugh. That is disgusting. Looks as if your hand's about to rot off.

Not as disgusting as that growth on your face, fungus features.

What?!

That bat is toxic, and I...am going to dust it.

With a slayer slingshot? Pathetic.

Anyone for tennis?

Well, that's just the warm-up.

This...will sort the bat K*llers from the girls.

There's no way you're winning. That bat is mine.

- Wow, what's that?
- It's a fire trap.

When the bat flies into it, it releases a fire b*mb.

And...bat dust! Impressive.

OK, hold on. Enough. I draw the line at expl*sives.

George, get your bags.

I'm sorry, Vlad, I know, with your family being in danger,

- you can't leave, but...
- Neither can you.

What do you mean?

No-one is leaving until we've found and destroyed this bat.

It's infected - we can't risk letting it escape.

This just gets weirder and weirder.

Ah! The horror has spread to my face -

my face, one of my best features.

Second only to my hair. My hair... My hair, Renfield!

Lead the way! I'm right behind you.

But, Master, there's something in the larder.

I know, I know, we'll use you as bat bait.

Sorry, Master?

Yes, yes, make some noise - make it, make it! Come on!

- There's something in the larder.
- Sing, sing, sing!

There's something in the larder!

Sing, There's something in the larder.


# There's something in the larder

# There's something in the larder La la la-la

# There's something in the larder... #

Shango. I'm here.

What happened? Is Father really gone?

Yes. He is.

I'm sorry, I wanted to be the one to tell you.

I was too late.

So the Draculas have won?

Don't talk like that.

We are Ramanga's sons and heirs.

We must avenge his name.

DOOR OPENS AND SHOUTING

It's too dangerous here.

We need to meet as soon as possible. You know where.

I don't know what it is, Master,

but it's been making the most peculiarly peculiar noises.

Oh, noises, schmoises, Renfield. Oh, very well.

We really don't have time for this.

- No, no!
- What is it? What's wrong, Master?

Where did you get this? You've been going through my cupboards!

And look, look! You've broken it!

No, I haven't. I swear I found it in here like this.

What is it?

It's something I've been guarding for the last years

and it absolutely cannot stay here.

And I can tell you now, Renfield,

whoever moved this does not know what they're dealing with.

It's called...

Yeah?

It's called...

Yeah?

The Magister...

Maleficorum.

Shut the door, shut the door!

THUDDING

Here, drink this. Blood-flower tea. Good for shock.

Why did he do it, Shango?

Why didn't he come and get me? Why didn't he say goodbye?

- Did I do something wrong?
- Shh. No. You did everything right.

Malik still believes that I saved him, that we're still friends.

He has no idea that we planned the whole thing.

You've done well, Asan. Everything was going according to plan.

You infiltrating the Dracula camp,

the Shadow Warriors sacrificing themselves

so you could appear trustworthy.

I just wanted Dad to be proud.

He would be proud. I'm proud in his place.

I can't believe he's gone.

It's time for you to be a grown-up. For your own good.

I hate the Draculas. I hate them.

So do I.

I'm sorry you had to hear the news from their vile mouths.

I have something for you.

Father left one for each of us.

It's so we'd never forget.

Those bat blotches are getting worse, Master.

Yes, you're right, Renfield.

Perhaps that vile creature is somewhere near.

THEY GROAN

Oh, yes, my back, my back...

What do we do now?

You need to get back in there and "celebrate" with the Draculas.

To avenge our father, we need to know how to strike at the heart

of the Dracula clan.

Just tell me what to do.

Listen, watch, absorb every tiny detail.

Find out why those breathers are there.

We need to know their weaknesses, and once we do,

we'll take every single one of those Draculas down.

But first, they're hunting for a bat.

So let's give them what they want.

I don't want to lose you too.

You don't have to.

Stay very still.

Veniat ad me vespertilionem.

Veniat ad me vespertilionem.

Veniat ad me vespertilionem.

You're a true friend.

You'll be a hero.

Careful.

Right, Renfield. We'll just pop it in here for now.

But what's it do? Is it dangerous?

No! Don't be so dramatic. Why? Why would you think that?

Argh!

Put it in! Put it in! Cover it up!

And we'll leave it in there

until we think of somewhere a little more permanent.

But it's not dangerous, you say?

Just don't tell anyone of its existence,

never come back here, and never ever, on pain of death, disturb it.

Unless I say so. Which I might have to.

Right.

Quite soon.

Ah...it's going.

- Ooh...
- Come on!

HE COUGHS

Should we be getting back to the bat hunt, Master?

Yes, yes, yes, of course, of course.

Count Dracula. I've done it.

I've destroyed the bat.

Oh, marvellous. Good work, Asan!

I didn't want any of the Draculas to put their neck on the line.

Especially since I was the one who let it escape.

Just give me the pestilent creature.

Renfield, sound the gong.

Careful!

GONG

Someone's beaten us to it.

It's good news if it means we can finally say goodbye to Vlad.

Fair play, Asan. You did a great job.

Indeed. And now that the bat's destroyed, you're safe to leave.

Have you packed yet, dearest brother of mine?

So much good news. Dad, we should start the party.

Yes, yes, yes. When I'm ready, when I'm ready!

RENFIELD CHUCKLES

The Vampire Victory Potion, Master!

What are you reading?

What? Oh, nothing, nothing, just some old folklore.

It's nonsense, nonsense really.

- The Vampire Victory Potion...?
- Hm?
- For the celebratory ceremony?

Oh, yes, yes. If you insist.

Right. We must obey the Order of Preference ceremony.

Asan, as the slayer of the bat,

you must take first sip!

And, Vlad, you're next in line,

seeing as you're heir to the Dracula dynasty.

(Not for long.)

And who's next in the order of preference? Now, let me see...

Eeny Meeny Miny...

- Malik.
- Ah!

Because of your courage in slaying the Shadow Warrior,

you are next to take a sip from the infamous Empusa Goblet.

And now, Ingrid. Last and, by all means, least.

Can I try some?

Certainly not. I don't want even to imagine what's in it.

Well, I started with a little dash of badger bile,

then a tiny little squeeze of lemming's liver...

I don't actually want to know what's in it. Thank you, Renfield.

You're welcome.

- The sores have gone.
- Mine too.

Ah, so it was the bat. Definitely the bat.

No need to look any further. Excellent.

Asan, my boy, we will for ever be in your debt.

Looks like everyone's safe now.

So I guess... Yes, I'll come and stay with you.

That might be the best news I've had all lifetime.

No, no, no, wait, what are you talking about?

Vlad is going nowhere.

Yes, he is. He's going to have my old room.

Vlad's going to live with his tutor?

Well, just for a...change of scenery.

You can come and stay too sometime. Or just write.

I'll give you my address.

No! No! Hold on just a mo!

This little sojourn of yours is quite impossible, I'm afraid.

You...you have important exams, Vlad.

And what about your Batalauriat?

I've been studying hard. I can take my exams early

and be finished in a few days.

But, Vladdy...

Dad, I need to know my human side

before I can accept my position as the Chosen One.

It's as much a part of my education as any exam.

Do you know what...

it's fine. We can stay a bit.

I can always finish that sculpture.

And I'm sure I'll learn how to sleep,

now that Ramanga and the Shadow Warriors

and the bat have all gone.

I think...I think we might need to order takeaway, though.

See, it's all working out, isn't it?

I think you're right.

- (MUTTERING)
- Where are you...?

"Due to this vast amount of evil..."

HE WHIMPERS
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