02x06 - The Mile

[bunniefuu]

And so, if we've got
a binomial with two terms,

we use the FOIL method
to simplify the equation.

Gabby Duran!

Care to explain why

you're a full minutes
late this morning?

Funny story actually.

I was hurrying to get ready for
school, when my phone rang.

It was the mayor,
and she wanted me to...

Let's not do this.

Do you at least have
yesterday's assignment?

I think we both
know that I don't.

Not the best time, I know,
but I really should take this.

Just... go to
the principal's office.

Already on the way!

Gabby.

Principal.

Shall we jam?

Let's jam.

Mm! What about this?

The cafeteria does Taco
Tuesdays on Wednesdays.

And what do we do on Tuesday?

Also Taco Tuesday!

Ah! I'll tell the lunch staff

to double our queso fresco budget.

Well, I should jet.
Thanks for the jam session.

Anytime.

Why did you come in here again?

Can't remember!

I'm sure it wasn't
important though.

Later, Jam‐broni!

Later, Jam‐broni! Ah...

Mm...

It's good being friends
with the principal.

Theme song playing...

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I do normal like a fish
rides a bicycle ♪

♪ Fit in like summer
and an icicle ♪

♪ Don't fight it,
just be an original ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I roller skate
outside the lines ♪

♪ When I try to stay in,
it's no surprise ♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay,
I'm one of a kind ♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind ♪

♪ So anytime I feel
some type of way ♪

♪ Don't understand
the human race ♪

♪ So what, so what, so what ♪

♪ I do my thing,
I do my thing ♪

♪ You do your thing,
You do your thing ♪

♪ When we don't fit in ♪

♪ We stand out in the crowd
and we shout it loud ♪

♪ I do my thing,
I do my thing ♪

♪ I'm the one and only,
I'm the one and only ♪

♪ Don't try to fit in,
Don't try to fit in ♪


- Wes,
- Huh.

we've got
a situation on our hands.

The Congressional Fitness Test?

What's the big deal?
We do it every year.

That's the big deal, Wes!

They added a mile run this year.

A mile... run!

You're gonna have to
spell it out for me.

Sweating, cramping,

getting somewhere
unnaturally quickly.

It goes against
everything I stand for.

You know
who likes running? Freaks!

- That's who.
- Uh‐oh!

You guys see this?!

Someone's gonna
get his run on! Oh!

I should whip up some of
my homemade energy drink!

See?

I'm getting out of this test.

Well, good luck.

Personally, I'm looking
forward to the CFT.

It allows me to showcase my
one truly elite athletic skill.

The sit‐and‐reach.

The sit‐and‐reach?

King of the Exercises?!

You sit down and reach
as far forward as you can.

And you're good at this?

No.

I'm great.

The sitting,

the reaching, it hits
all my strong points!

And this year, I'm gonna...

And you're not listening
to a word I'm saying

'cause you're just
coming up with ways

to get out of this run,
aren't you?

Yeah! I bet Swifty would
let me outta the test.

Good idea, Wes.

Some days,

I'm not sure what I'm getting
out of this relationship.

Absolutely not.

Wait, for real?

Why not?
It's just a dumb test.

It is not some
"dumb test," Gabby.

It is the Congressional
Fitness Test!

How else could we
quantify your capacity -

For push‐ups, pull‐ups,

and the King of Exercises,
the sit‐and‐reach?

Come on, Swifty.
We're Jam‐bronies!

I am your Jam‐broni, yes,

but I am also
principal of this school.

And as principal,

I need to ensure that
every student complies

with the statewide
fitness standards.

Including you.

By making me run around
in a giant pointless circle?

I'm sorry, Gabby,

but I have to put my foot down.

You are taking this test.

You're dirty, you're loud,

you smell like an old tent,

and I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I need your help.

I'm listening.

The Greater Havensburg‐Area
Geography Bee is coming up,

and there are certain

members of my family that are...

invested in me winning it.

Winning my county Geo Bee was
the proudest moment of my life.

The other kids called me
Queen Bee, and when you win,

that's what I'm gonna
call you.

We're gonna
be a pair of Queen Bees! Yes.

So, win the dumb geography bee.
What's the big deal?

The big deal is I have
crippling stage fright!

It's haunted me my entire life.

But you seem to have
no problem looking like

a complete fool in front
of just about anybody.

I don't know who this
"Just About Anybody" is,

but he's really
starting to tick me off.

See? Exactly!

Teach me your wisdom.

I don't know.
What's in it for me?

The grand prize includes
a gift certificate to Tropics,

that island‐themed
restaurant downtown.

‐ Help me, and I'll spl...
‐ I'm in.

Just picture it.

Me, relaxing in the sandy booths of Tropics...

Taking a drink from the shell of one fruit...

Holding the juice of
a different fruit...

Hey!

We don't have time for
your weird fruit fantasies.

You're right.
Let's cure that stage fright.

Gabby Duran... is here by...

excused from the...
Congressional...

Fitness Test! Please...

do not... follow up.
Yours truly,

Principal...
Principal? Swift.

Mr. Bevelaqua,
your gym teacher,

brought it to my attention.

He assumed that
I had hit my head

in some sort of
boating accident.

That took me so long
to cut together!

This isn't a joke, Gabby.

I gave you direct instruction,

and you deliberately
ignored my authority.

It's... inexcusable.

I'm going to give you
one more chance.

Take the test,
and all will be forgiven.

Absolutely not.

Then, the Jam‐bronies
are no more!

You have broken
the Circle of Crust!

Fine.

But I want my
huckleberry jams back!

Oh... Some of those were mine!

And then he says
I have to take the test.

Can you believe that?

You think you're
friends with someone,

and then they go
and make you run a mile.

I'd never make you run a mile.

See? And that's
why we get along.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Sorry! Sorry!

Still a work
in progress.

So, uh, what are
you gonna do?

Oh, don't worry about me.

If there's one thing
Gabby Duran knows how to do,

it's getting out of
taking a test.

Thankfully, my gym teacher

isn't the sharpest kickball
in the bag.

Fooling him will be no problem.

Attention, students!

I will be personally

filling in as your gym teacher

to ensure that every student

is prepared for tomorrow's
Congressional Fitness Test,

regardless of whatever
clearly fake reasons

they may have
for getting out of it.

Oh, come on!

Let's begin with lunges.

Shall we?

The best way to cure
your stage fright

is to just throw you
into the deep end.

Interesting metaphor.

So, you're saying I have
to face my fears head on.

Force myself to confront
the stage fright.

Uh, no. I'm saying I wanna
throw you into a pool,

but whatever.
We can do your thing.

Stand up there.

Okay...

If you can recall dumb map facts
in front of a holographic crowd,

then you can do it
in front of real people.

Name all the countries in the
range of the Himalayan Mountains!

Nepal.

You're bad at geography!

Hey, people are mean.

Uh, China.

Boo! I don't like your voice!

Uh, Pakistan?

Get off the stage, poser!

Where was I? Uh...

Brunei? Um, I mean Bhutan.

How's my Queen Bee?

Ah! I can't! I can't!

Honestly, this is going
better than I expected.

Hey, Wes! Excited to run?

I only have eyes
for one exercise.

The sit‐and‐reach.

Oh, eye of the tiger.
Me, too.

That's why I made
a big ol' batch

of my homemade energy drink.
It's got, like,

tons of electrolytes,
plus honey from bees

- that I spent the whole summer volunteering...
- Gabby!

- ...to repopulate.
- You made it!

For sure. No doubt.

I actually wondered
if you would try to pull

some stunt to get outta this.

You know, I'm proud of you.

It takes a big person
to suck it up,

admit they were wrong,
and just... -

Uh... hello?

Wessy boy!

How are you doing this?

I decided to have Fritz
build a Gabby‐Bot

to run the mile for me.
What do you think?

It's so life‐like.

Stop that.

I don't know. Maybe,

I just wasn't meant
for the high‐stakes world

of competitive geography.

Well, I'm not giving up.
If we don't figure this out,

we'll never get
to eat at Tropics,

and we'll be stuck at dumps like
this for the rest of our lives!

You heard me! Dumps!

Do not. Badmouth.

The restaurant. You get me?

Sorry, sir.

Think, Olivia. There's gotta
be some way to b*at this.

Well...

there is this one thing.

‐ When I was a kid, I...
‐ You're, like, .

Yeah. And when I was ,

I had this character I would
do whenever I felt scared.

Barbara from Brisbane.

How does that work?

You know,
she's tougher than I am,

so she can be brave
when I'm not.

Also, she's Australian.

Wait.

Do you think Barbara
could help us

with my stage fight problem?

Only one way to know for sure.

You're right.

Oi!

Ask me a geography question!

Uh, what's
the capital of Taiwan?

Taipei! You hear that,

you rowdy bogans?

- You're doing it!
- I'm doing it!

We'll never have to eat
at this dump again!

We'll never have to eat
at this dump again!

Okay.
Now you need to leave.

You ready, Fritz?

- Let's do this!
- Let's do this.

Reach...

Oh!

- Oh...
- Reach...

Oh.

Mm‐hmm, ha, ha.

Reach...

Good work, Wesley.

A new personal best!

Hm.

Till next year, old friend.

The next segment of
the test will be the mile!

Everyone, to the
starting mark, please.

Gabby‐Bot
is working perfectly, Fritz!

I'm just happy you're happy.

I am happy.

Hey. Make me dance.

No problemo!

Look at him
over there, thinking he broke me.

Sorry, Swifty.

You can't break a Jam‐broni.

Sorry, Gabby!

Okay...

Weird reaction...

Uh, Fritz?

What's going on, buddy?

That energy drink shorted out the control board!

How many electrolytes
are in that stuff?!

Oh, thank gosh. It's rebooting.

On your marks, get set...

go!

Rebooting.
Accessing previous command.

Break a Jam-broni.

Jam‐broni acquired.

Oh, Gabby, you really...

Oh...

I'm starting to think Gabby-Bot

wasn't such a good idea.

Now, Gabby...

I know you didn't
want to run the mile,

but v*olence is not the answer.

- Oh no.
- Ah!

Ah!

Gabby‐Bot!
It's gonna k*ll Swift!

Also,

how have you gotten
so freakishly strong?!

I'm coming!

Oh! Ah! Hammy!

No, hammy! Oh!

I sit‐and‐reached too far!

Gabby-Bot's gone rogue!

It's stuck in a terminal
programming loop!

Well it's about to put Swift
in a terminal death loop!

How do we stop it?

Uh, uh, okay! Okay!

There's an electromagnetic
pulse device

that will shut down
Gabby‐Bot's circuits!

It's in the box
under my desk!

It's just full
of pictures of me!

The other box!

Disk‐looking thing
with a big button on it?

That's it! Get it here
as soon as you can!

Don't worry, Swift!
I'm coming!

I... really hate... running!

Ah...

Hey! Gabby‐Bot!

Huh?

Pick on... somebody...
your own size.

G‐Gabby! Wh...

What is going on?!

Explain later. I ran here.

Over a mile. It was the worst.

But... I brought this.

Oh, come on!

Break Jam‐broni.

No!

No!

I'm okay! I'm okay.

But, Gabby‐Bot? Not so much.

I know it looks bad,
but you're...

you're gonna laugh.

Olivia Duran?

Step forward.

That's my daughter.

Yes.

Have they started yet?

I think I'm more
nervous than she is.

Are you ready, Olivia?

It's Barbara from Brisbane.

Oh. Hm...

My information says
Olivia from Havensburg.

Hey! Enough yacking!
Bring on the geography!

Okay...

That's a tad aggressive.

Kinshasa is
the capital of which

African nation?

That's cake!

The Republic of the Congo!

Sorry, dear.

The answer is

the Democratic
Republic of the Congo.

You may sit down.

That ain't fair, mate!
You tricked me!

I'm sorry?

Um, those are the rules.

Rules? In the Outback, there are no rules!

- Please sit down.
- Back off!

Gimme another question,

or I'll tear your face
off your face!

Oh! Help!

This ain't over!

You messed with
the wrong Sheila!

I'm sorry, Mom.

I don't know
what came over me.

I know you wanted
to be Queen Bees together.

I hope you're not
too disappointed.

Are you kidding me?

I've never felt closer
to you in my life.

Have I ever
told about Masha from Moscow?

She's helped me sometimes...

when I am feel overwhelmed.

Well, it seems like
everything worked out.

Now what do you
say we celebrate

with a nice
island‐themed dinner?

So, this feels like it calls for

a little more than
my standard apology.

A k*ller android
who wanted to snap my spine?

Yes! I should say so!

I am sorry though.

Think I got so used
to us being friends

and doing whatever
I wanted that

I just couldn't handle it
when you put your foot down.

I guess I took the whole
Jam‐bronies thing

a little too far.

It's okay, Gabby.

I realize the nature
of our relationship

can lead to some... confusion

regarding boundaries.

Although, you will have
to take a makeup test.

Of course. You know,
running all that way

from Fritz's lab to school

made me realize
running isn't that bad.

Really?

No! It's the worst!

But, sometimes you just gotta do
stuff you don't wanna do, right?

I'm glad to hear
you say that, Gabby.

Gabby! Is! A robot!

Be careful!

A little late, Wes.
We already took care of that.

Yes, get it together, Wesley.

Oh... Cool.

So, what do you say?

Shall we jam once more?

Let's do it, Jam‐broni.

- Oh!
- Ah.

Next time on "Gabby
Duran and the Unsittables"...

This is your first overnight
babysitting assignment.

- You told your dad I know about aliens.
- Yes, Wesley.

What if your dad hates me?

Swifty, relax!
Everything's gonna be fine.

Wesley, relax!
It's just a dinner.

- What do you mean you lost the house?!
- Ah!

This night is getting
really outta hand.

Gorgeous!