03x04 - Tempest in a Tea Cup - Mr. Security

[bunniefuu]

[siren wails]

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget, Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

[koto playing]

[sighs]

Welcome to the MAD Rogues' Feast.

I expect everyone
to follow proper etiquette.

- Right, Penny Crime?
- [laughter]

Uh...

Hm...

[squeals] No!

[all laugh]

[sighs]

Something wrong, ma chère?

Got any finger foods?

- [all gasp]
- Ugh! You are so unrefined!

It's time you learned some manners,
the hard way!

Hi-yah!

[computer voice] Agent Penny
etiquette simulation score... zero.

Oh, come on!

Wowzers, Penny!
This was an etiquette test.

The spoon throwing test
isn't until next week.

[chewing] You need to know...
how to act in delicate... situations.

Like me!

- [man yelps]
- Etiquette is necessary

to be a good agent.

[Quimby] Excuse me, Gadget.

You're excused...

[burping]
...Chief!

[sighs]

HQ has learned that MAD plans
to disrupt the peace summit

between North and South Guatamazil
on Takei Island.

These nations have
never agreed on anything,

except that they'll go to w*r
if the summit fails.

Their fingers are on the buttons!

Your mission... keep MAD from interfering!
This message will self-destruct.

Remember, on Takei Island,
manners mean everything.

Hanzo Hattori, the peace negotiator,
is a real stickler for decorum.

You can count on me, Chief.

Oops! Almost forgot to return this.

You're most welcome!

[groans]

[grunting]
Let go MAD Cat! They're mine!

- Enough fighting!
- [crash]

We need to focus on peace...

- Huh?
- ...sabotaging.

Oh!

Um, how exactly are we gonna
smash "peace to pieces"?

With my most fiendishly evil plan ever,
stealing a teacup!

What about teacups now?

The Teacup of Harmonious Harmony

is responsible for every successful
peace negotiation

over the last years!

Are you sure you don't wanna steal it
'cause your dishes are dirty?

[meowing]

Washing dishes gives me dishpan claw!

And who has time to clean
when you're trying to start a w*r?

Now, go!

[gong reverberating]

- Thanks for the excellent entrance, me!
- [vehicle beeps]

Remember, everyone, best behavior.

On Takei Island, bad manners
are like bad gas. Silent but deadly.

- [farts]
- [sniffs]

- Ew!
- [Brain groans]

It's peaceful.

Too peaceful.
MAD's gotta be here somewhere.

[Penny] You're kidding, right?

How am I supposed to kick MAD's butt
without proper foot protection?

Ugh, fine.
I'll check the perimeter instead.

Keep an eye on Uncle Gadget.

[clicking tongue]

It's terrible manners
to leave shoes lying around.

I'd better handle this before one
of the Guatamazilians takes offence.

Go, go, Gadget, shoe scooper!

[humming]

[gasps] Someone stole my shoes
from the Shoe Rack of Happy Souls!

Only a snake-bellied South Guatamazilian
would sink so low. They must pay!

[sighs]

[grunting]

I'm sure I can apologize for the shoes
after I've saved the world.

The Teacup of Harmonious Harmony...
but no sign of MAD.

Only 'cause I didn't wanna interrupt

the fascinating conversation
you were having... with yourself.

[laughs]

I'd talk to you,

but how will you say anything
with my foot in your mouth?

[gasps]

Shoes? In the Peace Pagoda?
Seriously, who's the bad guy here?

Well... I... uh...

Have some respect, Penny.

[yelps]

[grunts]

My name is Hanzo Hattori.
I am the keeper of this teacup.

And you have disturbed
its harmonious harmony.

- He did it!
- She did it!

- [panting]
- These shoes need to be put away!

[continues panting]

[sighs]

Well, hello, madam.

[moans]

What's that?
Put these stinky shoes down the well?

It would be rude to refuse the request
of such a lovely lady.

- [water splashing]
- Oh...

[screams]

Northern no-goodniks have sullied
the Well of Good Will

with their shoe stank.

- They must pay.
- [glass shatters, woman screams]

Hm... Conflict is like old candy.
Hard, jagged, and cuts the mouth.

Yet, with patience,
it can be sweet, delightful, and filling.

It's gonna be sweet...

when Talon's filling
a delightful jail cell!

Your wiseness, she has disrespected
the Peace Pagoda with her shoes!

But you disrespected the Peace Pagoda
with your face! Hi-yah!

[both grunt]

Yah!

Hey! My perfect ear!

Pain leads to conflict,
and from conflict comes peace.

Are you ready to face the pain for peace?

You realize the only reason he's here

is to steal the Teacup
of Harmonious Harmony, right?

[groans]

- It is impolite to accuse.
- [laughs]

Ugh! Let go of my tongue!

It is also impolite to make faces.

Ah, the Table of Tranquility
is set for the negotiations.

And there's a slight imperfection
in its placement.

Luckily, I'm an expert in table setting.

Go, go, Gadget, room rearranger!

Phew!

Now, let's glue this in place
so it doesn't move.

Go, go, Gadget, table gluer!

- [air horn blowing]
- [man] Hey!

Just what this peace summit needs,
a blank slate! Good going, me!

- This is all your doing!
- This is all your doing!

[sighs]

More tea, my esteemed colleague?

Yes, please, my humble compatriot.

More, please. More. More!

The cup is full, you...

...delightful boy.
[giggles]

Thank you, my honorable associate,

who is considered by some
to be a goody-goody killjoy.

- But not by me, of course.
- Excellent.

We are near completion

of another successful
Tea Ceremony of Conflict Resolution.

All that remains
is to properly drink from...

- There, completed! [burps]
- [laughs]

You have brought dishonor

to the Tea Ceremony
of Conflict Resolution!

This offense cannot go unpunished!

[gulps]

Everything looks tea-rrific.

There's no way MAD
can derail the summit now!

You stole from me!

You tried to poison me!

You smashed our negotiation table!

You tried to bury me under it!

- This means w*r!
- This means w*r!

[suspenseful music playing]

- I'll do it!
- Not if I do it first!

Gentlemen, please.

I may not have any clue who you are,
but I do know we're all friends here.

And it's rude to shout at your friends.
Go, go, Gadget, indoor voice-ifier!

Now, hug it out like men.

And, finally, let's all blow
some friendship bubbles.

Go, go, Gadget,
ceremonial peace bubble pipe!

[both scream]

It's impolite to leave
in the middle of a conversation!

Go, go, Gadget, new friend catcher!

Konichiwa!

I take no pleasure
in teaching you respect,

- but it must be done!
- You're right, Master Hattori.

I brought this on myself,

and now I deserve
to face the consequences.

Please accept my apology.

The conflict clouds have parted.

The birds of composure
and tranquility sing!

Your apology is accepted.

What? Are you kidding me?
Teach her some manners or I will!

[sighs]

It is true, she may be a bit rough
around the edges, but you are a jerk!

Well, let's see how far manners get you
when everyone's at w*r! Peace out!

- Whoa!
- [screams]

[grunts]

Penny, it's bad form
to let someone's cup stay empty.

Go, go, Gadget, teapot!

The Teacup of Harmonious Harmony!

Destroyed! How can there be peace now?

MAD wins! Tea ya later, losers!

- Please, Hattori-san!
- Save us!

Ah, perhaps, together,
you can tear down the walls of hatred.

Yes!

And build up new walls
that are Gadget-proof!

Agreed! Together, we can work
to be safe from him.

Aw, this is nice, isn't it?

[both screaming]

Master, how is there still peace
with the teacup in pieces?

Peace comes from understanding.

And they both understand
that your uncle can be... challenging.

But he's a challenge we all accept.
Great job, Gadget.

You've brought peace to Guatamazil.

All in a day's work
for an etiquette expert, Chief!

Speaking of which,
you can't wear shoes in here.

Go, go, Gadget, shoe snatcher!

But, Gadget, I'm not wearing any shoes!

Something tells me it would be rude
to overstay our welcome.

Yes, leave now.

Please!

- Shall it be one lump or two?
- [screams]

Next tea time, Talon. Next tea time!

[Slickstein]
Greetings, HQ-ligans!

Thank you for gathering
to gaze upon my greatest invention...

Mr. Security!

[computer voice] Salutations.

I am here to keep you safe
and make your day pleasant.

[applause]

Artificial intelligence? So cool!

As long as it doesn't go totally evil,
like in the movies.

- Huh?
- But what are the chances of that?

And now, let's hear it for the genius
who invented him... [chuckles]

...me!

- [crickets chirping]
- [coughs]

- Ingrates.
- Welcome, Mr. Security.

You're gonna love defending HQ.

Let's not jump the g*n, Gadget.
It still hasn't been tested.

[laughs]

Have you stolen Mr. Security yet?

I'm close. All I have to do is sneak in,
rip out his main processor, and get out.

Excellent!

With a super intelligent computer
by my side,

I'll finally take over the world!

- [video game music playing]
- And destroy the accursed Mr. Fishy!

[Talon] You know that game's
for babies, right?

[video game music playing]

- No one escapes Claw!
- [yelps]

Okay... Talon out.

Nothing can get past Mr. Security.

This place is completely MAD proof now.

[grunts] Whoa!

- [banging]
- Ouch! [grunts]

[groans]

Pardon me, please state your name.

Uh...

But how can it tell who's MAD?

Simple. It has the best facial
recognition software on the planet.

It uses super smart computer brain logic
to determine who's a thr*at and who's not.

[in high voice]
I'm Penny. I'm so smart and helpful.

Please rate my performance
and tell me I'm good.

Please?

Identity confirmed as... Penny.

Not a thr*at. Have a pleasant day.

Oh, I will! Thank you, Mr. Security.

♪ La, la, la, I'm so good ♪

It even keeps track of where we all are.

Check it. Mr. Security,
please state the location of Penny.

Penny is entering your lab.

[all gasp]

Fascinating! It's surprisingly accurate.

Would you believe it also has
a sense of humor? [chuckles]

The only thing funny here
is this newfangled tech.

It's mission time, Gadget.

Your mission is to enter HQ

and test Professor Von Slickstein's
Mr. Security to see if it's safe.

- This message will self-destruct.
- You can count on me, Chief.

I love testing new agents.
Go, go, Gadget, secret door opener.

Whoa!

Brain, you go help Uncle Gadget
with Mr. Security.

I'm gonna find out
who this other Penny is.

Pardon me, I believe
Inspector Gadget left this for you.

No, no, no!

- [groans]
- Have a pleasant day.

Hello, Mr. Security.

[grunts]

[knuckles cracking]

Time for some delicate surgery.

[stammering] Stop, that tickles.

[voice distorting]
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

You play with wire, you get b*rned.

Penny? Aw, look what you made me do!

[buzzing]

Default settings initiated.
Destroy intruders at all costs.

- [beeping]
- Agent Penny. Not a thr*at.

[sighs]

[beeping, buzzing]

Talon classified as evil. Destroy Talon.

And have a pleasant day.

You have a pleasant day, robo-dweeb!

Ahh! I take it back!
I want the pleasant day. [screams]

Stop! Stand down, Mr. Security!

Negative.
I must destroy intruders at all costs.

Heating floor to , degrees.

[both yelping]

Professor! You've got
to shut down Mr. Security!

No problem.

[mutters] Except that I can't
'cause he's gone rogue.

It's like someone messed with his wiring.

Oh, sure, blame me.

Well, BT-dubs, you're doomed.

For the record, this isn't making
my day any more pleasant!

Noted.

[both grunting]

- [screams]
- [groans]

When testing a new agent, I like to spend
some time with them to help them relax.

Ah, there he is now.

Hello, Mr. Security.

How do you like HQ so far?

Now, now, don't be nervous.
I'm sure you'll do fine.

Coffee? For me?
Someone's earning brownie points.

[sighs]

You must be really nervous.

You didn't secure this coffee
from getting cold.

Go, go, Gadget, coffee warmer.

[squeals]

Wowsers! I've never seen an agent
this nervous about a test.

[screams]

Accessing mission footage.

[clucks]

Inspector Gadget
is classified as... chaotic.

Must destroy. Must destroy.

Prepare to be extinguished.

You mean the fire should be extinguished.
Rookie mistake.

[howling]

Yes, Brain, those are
nice fire extinguishers.

But not as nice as mine.
Go, go, Gadget, extinguisher!

Whoa!

Wowzers! Oof!

[beeping, buzzing]

- [powering down]
- Aw, he's red with embarrassment.

It's okay, Mr. Security. You'll learn.

- [whistling]
- [shrieks]

Stop, Mr. Security!
We just need to contain Talon!

Correct, Talon will need
a proper container...

- [screaming]
- ...once he is...

- ...pureed.
- [screams]

Have a pleasant day.

Again, there's nothing
pleasant about this!

[screams]

[screams]

[grunts]

A little help?

Fine, but only 'cause I want you
to live... behind bars.

Gee, Penny. I didn't know you cared.

Let's just go.

Okay, we should be safe in here.

Activating laser wall.

Yeah, this is much safer.

This is the heart of HQ, Brain.

Mr. Security should be
on extra guard here.

Inspector Gadget.
Eliminate security risk.

Eliminating security risks,
that's my job, all right.

Yes, those sharp tools are security risks.

Random explosions?

Good example.
[screams]

Mr. Security, I get why
you wanna vaporize Talon.

Hey!

But you're gonna vaporize me
in the process.

I am programmed to eliminate threats
at all costs. Have a pleasant day.

Would you stop saying that?

Name one thing
about this day that is pleasant!

Pleasant... That's it!

We need to convince the AI you're good.

Mr. Security, Talon isn't all bad.

Pausing laser wall. Explain.

He's, um...

athletic, smart,
and really great at, uh...

Being evil? What? I'm helping.

- Resuming laser wall.
- [gasps] Wait!

- Pausing laser wall.
- Think about it.

Talon would make an amazing HQ agent
if he stopped following Dr. Claw.

Uh, yeah! It's totally my dream
to stop following Dr. Claw

and start a MAD agency of my own.

Resuming laser wall.

[screams]
A good MAD agency! A happy MAD!

Please! Just don't laser me!

[crying] Please!

Pausing laser wall.

Talon's classification
changed to... cry-baby.

Cry-babies are not a thr*at.

Ha! I only pretended
to cry to save my life.

Statement cannot be verified.
Talon still classified as cry-baby.

You were saying?

- [Gadget] Wowzers!
- [grunts]

Well, hello, Penny and friend.

Inspector Gadget, top security thr*at.
Must be eliminated!

That's right, top security threats
should definitely be eliminated.

Resuming laser wall.

Wait! How can Uncle Gadget be a thr*at?

After meteors, he's classified
as the world's most destructive force.

But, unlike meteors,
he's always saving the day. Look it up.

He is a thr*at... who also saves the day?

He destroys everything...
and saves everything? Illogical.

[stammering] I can't...

[chattering incoherently]

[voice distorting]
...pleasant day.

FYI, I recorded
all the sweet things you said, Pen.

"Athletic, smart, gorgeous."

I never said "gorgeous."

- [Penny] He's athletic, smart...
- [Talon, in high voice] And so gorgeous!

- Hey!
- I'm making it my ringtone. Ha!

Gadget, you've done it again!
I knew that contraption was no good.

No-good contraptions
are my specialty, Chief.

Speaking of which, Mr. Security still has
to pass one final mandatory test.

- Go, go, Gadget, all weapons at once.
- [all] No!

[all groan]

[Talon] Whoa!

- [groans]
- Your failure is unacceptable!

- [video game music playing]
- Now, we'll never complete our task

of catching Mr. Fishy.

Here, let me do it.

[video game music playing]

[shrieks]

Salutations, Talon.
I have uploaded myself to the Internet.

Are you having a pleasant day?

- No!
- You see?

- [sobbing]
- No one can b*at that stupid game!

Next time, Mr. Fishy. Next time!