03x06 - Cuckoo for Talon - Fayre Game

[bunniefuu]

♪ Inspector Gadget
Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget
Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go! ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go! ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go! ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go! ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

[Maclntosh] Which apple is it, Penny?

The Red Deadlicious
or Granny Smithereens? [laughs]

- The choice is yours!
- [timer beeping]

Which one? Which one?

Isn't bombing for apples a blast?

- [laughing]
- Did someone say bobbing for apples?

Uncle Gadget, we need to...

Get as many apples as we can
in our mouths at once.

Yes, Penny, that is how the game's won.
Go Go Gadget, jaw extender!

- [barks]
- [timer shuts down]

No!

How'd you know
the key to defusing the b*mb

was grabbing both apples at once?

I may be a bad apple, Gadget,
but you're the one who spoils the bunch!

[sighs] Why wasn't I able
to disarm the b*mb?

- [mumbles]
- [rattles]

Nice work, Gadget!

You've put that rotten apple
in the compost bin we call prison.

But there's no time to rest.
Here's your next mission.

MAD's been stealing
the world's loudest bells.

HQ believes they're going
to make a bell so loud,

it could destroy a city
in a deafening blast.

And the target is London!

This message will self-destruct.

Don't worry, Chief. We'll make sure
this case will go off like clockwork.

Or it'll be clear as a bell.
Wait, which line is better?

[gulps] Let’s go, g*ng.
Today, the bell tolls for MAD!

And to let us know what time lunch is.
Speaking of which, have an apple, Chief!

[gasps, groans]

[Dr. Claw snores]

[lullaby music playing]

[air horn blows]

Curses! I've overslept again.
But this will be the last time!

Did you get the bells?

Only totally!

They're in the MAD minivan,

which is surprisingly practical
for an evil vehicle.

Excellent.

With these bells,
I'll build an alarm in Big Ben so loud,

it will flatten all of London in its wake
and ensure I wake!

Wait, this is a clock mission?
Don’t tell me I have to work with...

Cuckoo Clockmaker, at your service!

[groans]

Time to get in gear and sound
the knell for London!

Easy, Schlockmaker.

I'll be the one giving the orders
on this mish.

It's Clockmaker!
And I'm the clockface of this operation.

You're just the little hand.

Little hand?
My hand size is well above average!

- And I'm in charge!
- [groans]

I'm in charge!

Now get going and make sure the bells
wake me up by noon, sharp,

and destroy London.

- [lullaby music playing]
- But...

- [Dr. Claw snores]
- [meows]

[Inspector Gadget singing]
♪ London bridge is falling down ♪

♪ Falling down, falling... ♪
What's the next line of the song?

These roundabouts are fascinating.

Wowzers!

Londoners are very aggressive drivers.

Keep your eyes peeled.
That MAD bell thief could be anywhere.

Perhaps I should ask that man
with the swinging London haircut

if he's seen anything suspicious.

Hello there, my coiffed comrade.
Have you seen a MAD bell thief?

Hmm. That fantastic hairdo
must be blocking your ears.

Let me try again.

Have you seen a bell thief?

- Okay, those bells could be anywhere.
- [Inspector Gadget] Bell thief?

Maybe we should just stick together and...

No, wait. I'll figure out where they are.
You stay with Uncle Gadget.

Are you gonna need a disguise for that?

Hmm, maybe something with more pizazz?

Whoa. No, no, no. Less pizazz!

- And that's just weird. [chuckles]
- [whimpers]

- It's stuck?
- [buzzes]

I guess the decision was made
for us, right?

[bells jangling]

Have you seen...?

[Inspector Gadget gasps]

The bell-stealing MAD agent!

Get back here, you ding dong!

- [Brain gasps]
- Uncle Gadget, that's Brain, not...

[gasps] MAD!

[song playing over earphones]

I stole the bells, so I'm in charge!

But the bells you stole are for my device,
so I'm in charge!

- [grunts] Whoa!
- [thuds]

- A little help?
- I don't help, I supervise.

- Lift harder!
- [groans]

- [thuds]
- [groans]

Phew.

[grunts]

Time's up, Clockmaker!

You didn't really think we'd let you
flatten an entire city, did you?

You're coming with me!
Or staying here until backup arrives.

- Or maybe...
- Gotcha, Pen!

Next time, more action, less... [chuckles]
Whatever that was.

Hey, nice job almost getting caught,
very leaderly!

I was simply waiting
for my lowly lackey to...

I'm not a lackey, I'm the boss!

- Fine. Then I'm the King!
- Then I'm the King's boss!

- The king doesn't have a boss!
- Not according to constitutional monarchy!

[whimpers]

[bells jangling]

- [bells jangling]
- [whimpers]

[Inspector Gadget] Whoa! I know
you're out there somewhere, bell-stealer!

- [bells jangling]
- [meows]

You can't hide
from the sweet chime of justice!

- [bell jangles]
- [cat purrs]

- [grunts]
- There you are!

[cat purrs]

[bells jangling]

- [camera shutter clicks]
- [bell jangles]

Oh, look! A busker!

- [coin flips]
- [camera shutter clicks]

Oi! I gave you five p!

Start dancing, monkey!

- [Brain mumbles]
- [bells jangling]

[Clockmaker] At a quarter to ,

one chime will give the city
a taste of what's to come.

Then at noon,
chimes will ring so loud,

London will lay in ruin!
[laughs]

Time to escape, or contact Brain.
Oh, which one?

[bells jangling]

[scoffs] I've seen better.

- [beeps]
- [rocket swooshes]

- [Inspector Gadget] Stop, bell thief!
- [thuds]

[whimpers]

[Inspector Gadget]
The time for justice is at hand.

[bells jangling]

Hm.

- [bell tolls]
- [car alarm rings]

- [tolling]
- Ah!

[crowd screams]

What a racket you've made, Bell Thief!
Go Go Gadget, bell sil*ncer!

- [Brain gasps]
- [bells jangling]

You can ring, but you can't hide!

It works! [chuckles]

My machine works!

[coughs] Only henchmen build things.

You're the henchman!

Look, let's just MAD chat Uncle Claw
and settle this once and for all.

[MAD chat rings]

- [lullaby music playing]
- [Dr. Claw snores]

How much sleep does that guy need?

There's only one way to settle this.
A good old fashioned villain off!

The better villain gets to be in charge.

Agreed! But we'll need a judge.

[whimpers]

[boxing bell rings]

First villainous challenge...
Evil Laughing!

I go first! [clears throat]

[laughs]

Whatever. My turn!

[laughs]

You both sound like deranged clowns.
So... it's a tie?

- [boxing bell rings]
- Next category... Evil Quips!

Ugh, this is such a waste of time!

A-ha! She said "time!"
It's kinda my schtick.

Fine, then it's time for my quip,

and it looks like
you're about to get clocked!

[chuckles] Nailed it!

Pathetic! My turn.

I put the "mean" in Greenwich "Mean" Time!

And I put the mean in...
What does that even mean?

I don't need to explain my quips
to the likes of you!

- Who wins?
- Um... I don’t know.

Come on, this didn’t even make sense.

[Clockmaker] Look it up, Philistine.

[Talon] Who is Phyllis Dean?
What are you talking about?

Brain, get Uncle Gadget to Big Ben.
And hurry!

[whimpers]

[bells jangling]

The unmistakable tinkle of crime!

[bells jangling]

You're no longer the “bell” of this ball,
Bell Thief!

Go Go Gadget, hot pursuit!

[Inspector Gadget] Wowzers!

- [boxing bell rings]
- Who has the better evil eyebrow arch?

[groans]

Come... [groans] on!

Uh, this is hurting my forehead!

- [Clockmaker groans]
- I don't know. You're both such losers!

- [bell rings]
- That's it! You're both losers!

Decision, for the win!

Wait, who wins?

I do! Because the clock's run out
for both of you!

No, Penny, the clock's run out for London.

It's nearly noon.
Too little, too late. Ha!

- [gasps]
- [Inspector Gadget screams]

- [Inspector Gadget] Ah!
- [glass shatters]

- [whimpers]
- Go Go Gadget, handcuffs!

Stop, Bell Thief!

[bells jangling]

- [Clockmaker] Whoa, whoa.
- [cracking]

- No!
- [cracks]

My machine! And...

- [cracks]
- ...my spine!

Yeah, you totally m*nled those,
like a boss!

Later, leader!

[bells jangling]

- [whimpers]
- Huh? Where did he go?

That’s odd.

Congratulations, Gadget!
You saved London just in chime.

Thanks, Chief.
This calls for a celebration.

Go Go Gadget, celebratory bell ringer!

[tolls]

[groans]

That's the last time I work
with the Clockmaker.

What a gong show!

- [rings]
- Snooze!

Next chime, Gadget.

Next... [snores]

[Dr. Claw] ...chime.

[Dr. Claw] Talon!
How long does it take to go back in time

- and make me king of the world?
- Little busy here!

Hand over the Time Diamond, Talon.

I would, Pen, but you know
what they say, time flies! [grunts]

Aw! [moans]

See, Brain.
I told you chickens couldn’t fly.

Oh, hello, Penny!

Great work, Gadget!

You kept MAD from putting
the Time Diamond

into the temporal flux accelerator
and rewriting history.

I'll see that you're well rewarded
for this!

Keeping history safe from MAD
is all the reward I need, Chief.

But a party wouldn't hurt.

And speaking of safe,

we should really hide this Time Diamond
someplace where MAD can't get it.

Ah, perfect!

[Penny] Uncle Gadget!

[groans]

- [Inspector Gadget] Whoa!
- [Brain] Ow!

- [Penny] Aw.
- [Talon grunts]

Wowzers! The Chief wasn't kidding
about a reward.

[Inspector Gadget] He's thrown us
a Renaissance Fair theme party.

- Come on, Brain!
- [whimpers]

Where... I mean, when are we?

I know. It's the time I made you
ancient history. Ha!

Got it! See you later, Pen.
Like, a million years later!

Ah!

I hereby decreeth yon glorious gem
shalt be the prize in my Royal Tourney.

All Hail King Dinkledorf the Serious!
Huzzah.

- [groans]
- Uh.

Hmm.

Terrible hygiene,

hand-dug latrines,

miserable peasants that smell of hamsters
and elderberries?

These actors have really done
their homework!

But there are a few oversights
that can't escape a middle-aged

Middle Ages buff like me.

For instance, I happen to know
they didn't use crutches back then.

Hey! Ho! [thuds]

These ropes
are historically inaccurate too.

Luckily, I have the fix.
Go go Gadget, rope rejigger!

[screams]

[whimpers]

Evil! Dark magic!

Burn him at the stake!

Burning a steak is evil dark magic
no matter what era you're in!

What knight shalt steppeth
forward to risk life

and limb for King Dinkledorf's,
and only King Dinkledorf's amusement?

Me! Ow! Watch the hair.

Me too!

The squire with the bewitched bangs
shall be allowed to compete.

Ha! In your futuristic face, Penny!

What about me, your Kingliness?

[chuckles] Women aren't allowedth
to compete.

'Tis unladylike for the weaker sex.

[laughs]

Oh, the things they were allowed
to say in this age.

[thuds]

You are mistaken, sire.
I am no woman, for I wear no dress!

Hm. 'Tis true, thine pants are manly.

But what of thine feminine pigtails?

What pigtails?

- Verily, thou art obviously a boy.
- What?

For no lady knoweth how to don a helm.

My bad.

Are you for real? She's totally a...

You dare contradict Dinkledorf?

Totally a boy. And I can't wait
to get medieval on "him."

There is one more contender!

- Huh?
- What?

My undefeated champion,
Sir Ticklesworth, The Jubilant!

[laughs] More like
Sir Loserington the Lameyloser.

[groans]

Um... That's Sir Ticklesworth,
The Jubilant? [chuckles]

[all shouting]

Thank you for allowing me to examine
your pitchforks in such close detail.

They seem quite authentic,
unlike that pyre.

This is late-early
Middle Ages workmanship.

Whereas, you should be going
for middle-late Middle Ages.

You really need to pay more attention
to the details, people!

- [whimpers]
- [villager] Ready the pyre!

Now that sounds much more like something
a medieval mob would say.

Now try, "Burn the evil to ashes!”

- Burn! Burn! Burn!
- Great!

This theme party is getting
more realistic by the minute!

[sighs, gasps]

[blares]

Let the Royal Tourney
for yon enchanting gem begin-eth!

Ye Olde Archery!

Where's the trigger?

[groans]

Ow! My nose!

No wonder everyone in the past
is such an uggo.

Ha! Watch and... [grunts]

learn.

[swooshes]

[man screams] Mine buttock!

- [blares]
- Ye Olde Axe Grinding!

Anyone with a passing knowledge
of modern physics

knows this is the best angle
for max sharpness.

Whoa!

[man screams]

Mine other buttock!

Sorry, Penny. Guess you're not
the sharpest axe in the...

[screams]

[blares]

Ye New Stonechuck!

[grunts] Shouldn't it be
Ye Olde Stonechuck?

Why? 'Twas invented yesterday.

[grunts]

[chuckles]

[groans]

[groans]

[thuds]

Dinner and a tourney?
Ooh! 'Tis good to be the king.

And 'tis nearly time to award yon gem.

But first, a duel!

- [groans]
- [Penny and Talon whimper]

- [villager] Burn him! Burn him now!
- It pays to be the guest of honor.

They've given us wonderful seats!

Burn! Burn! Burn!

[yelps]

These actors are terrible
at lighting fires!

We should help them out
so they don't get embarrassed.

Go Go Gadget, fire starter!

[cheering]

- [villager laughing]
- You're welcome, everyone!

[grunts]

Hey! Um, how 'bout we team up
and split the prize?

I just need to hold the Time Diamond
for a sec!

Ow! [groans]

Ouch. So, just you and me, huh?

Ah! Uh! Take that!

[Sir Ticklesworth groans]

You wouldn't hit a teeny, helpless,
wittle girly-wirly, would you?

Huh?

[grunts]

- [groans]
- Didn't think so.

But I am starting to think that helmets
are an essential fashion accessory...

for fall! Ha!

Well done, boy!
Now cometh the last event, jousting.

The winner lives!
The loser? Not so much.

Now that's my kind of event.

I look even more handsome in a saddle.
Bring on the horses!

Horses? Nay!

Thou shalt joust upon these.

[neighs]

Fine. I'll take this and this,
and... this!

Eat my stone-aged dust!

Hold, boy!

Dinkeldorf the Serious commands thee
to taketh thy noble steed for yon chase.

[whimpers]

Rideth like the wind, boy!
Like the wind!

- [villager] Burn! Burn! Burn!
- [sniffs] This roast smells delicious.

[barks]

- [villager laughs]
- You're right, Brain.

We could use a little more entertainment
at this feast.

And I have something ultra-authentic.

Go Go Gadget,
one man medieval band!

Whoa! The witch hath strapped a dragon
to his buttocks!

Run away! Run away!

Looking for this?

Yeah. Bring it!

[shouts]

Your helmet’s not gonna help you
this time! Oh!

- [screams]
- [thuds]

Forget diamonds.

- Helmets are a girl's best friend!
- [groans]

Thou hast won. Well done, boy!

Thank you, sire. And here's something
to blow your medieval mind.

I am not a boy!

'Tis true! Thou art a man, now.

[whimpers]

And by royal decree,
I have decided to keepeth thine gem.

Because I can.

Hey! I won that ye olde gem
faireth and squareth!

Telleth that to Sir Ticklesworth.

- [chuckles]
- [clanks]

- [Inspector Gadget] Wowzers!
- [thuds]

- [groans]
- Nice helmet, Penny.

It looks much more authentic
than that ridiculously unauthentic king.

Unauth... unauth... Seize them!

[all shouting]

Time to put the past behind us.

Yes, thanks for the wonderful theme party.

I'll just get rid
of these few last historical inaccuracies

for the next guests.

- [Talon] Aw!
- [Brain] Oh!

[Dr. Claw] Talon, how long does it take
to go back in time

and make me king of the world?

You know, it's time I get going.

Great work, Gadget!

You kept MAD
from putting the Time Diamond

into the temporal flux accelerator
and rewriting history.

I'll see that you're well rewarded
for this!

The Renaissance Fair
was reward enough, Chief.

In fact, it was so much fun,
I should give you a reward!

- How about these?
- Uncle Gadget!

- [Brain yelps]
- [Chief shouts]

I hope time heals all wounds.