03x07 - Picnic Pests - Talent Show Off

Episode Transcripts for the TV show "Inspector Gadget". Aired January 2015 - May 2018.*
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When Dr. Claw returns, Inspector Gadget is brought out of retirement to defeat him again, now with Penny and Brain's open participation.
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03x07 - Picnic Pests - Talent Show Off

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget
Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

[laughter]

It's true. Uncle Claw still gets Nana
to cut his food for him.

His big metal fingers can't hold
the tiny metal utensils. [laughs]

Grrr! Who told you that?

[stutters]

[Dr. Claw] HQ? Of course!

[both sigh]

[Dr. Claw] They would be spreading
my deepest secrets...

Uh, I mean, these totally false rumors.

Yeah. HQ. "Rumors."

This is evil high school all over again.

So, if they're stealing my secrets,
I'll steal theirs.

By reading their agent's diaries?
I call Penny's.

No, you fool! With the Digi-Mole!

[beeps, whirrs]

[screeches]

[Dr. Claw] It's the top of the line
in intelligence gathering technology.

When the mole's secretometer
collects enough information,

it will transmit all its data to me.

That's... a surprisingly solid plan.

And I'll finally find out exactly
what they're saying behind my back.

Like how your claw's made
from second rate tin?

- It's made from first rate tin.
- [MAD Cat shrieks]

Now take the mole
and get me as much gossip...

uh, intelligence as you can.

Second rate tin...

Argh! Curses!

Go now!

[pants]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Sorry, Brain,
but I need to be in top shape

if I'm gonna continue my perfect streak
of winning every single trophy

at the annual HQ company picnic!
Booya!

- [clears throat]
- [Brain whines]

You know, Pen,
the picnic isn't about winning trophies.

It's really about... my potato salad!

Ta-da!

[scoffs] That's second place talk.

After all your hard work keeping the world
safe from MAD,

you all deserve some fun,
relaxation, and...

Get to the competition already!

Easy, Penny. Like I was saying,
today's about fun, relaxation, and...

[Gadget] Wowzers!

[Chief grunts]

I've gotten a bird's eye view
of what might thr*aten our picnic.

So far there's a medium chance
of showers

and high chance of MAD!

The entire area has been secured, Gadget.
You can relax.

Oh, I'll relax, Chief...

When all evil, everywhere,
is finally brought to justice!

[sighs]

I was really hoping
I wouldn't need this today.

We have a special mission for you, Gadget!

HQ is having our annual company picnic.

Your mission is to capture... every moment
as the official picnic photographer.


Photography?

Why that's super secret HQ code
for surveillance.

Nothing will escape my keen
photographic eye, Chief!

Go, go, Gadget,
surveillance machine!

- [camera clicks]
- Aaah!

I'll sh**t every inch of this place.

MAD can't hide from surveillance expert,
Inspector Gadget!

[beeping]

- [explodes]
- [groans]

Let the HQ Company Picnic begin.

Woo-hoo! Bring on the winning!

[beeps]

The mole is activated and planted.

- Mission accomplished.
- [Dr. Claw] Fool!

Nothing's accomplished until the mole
transmits HQ's secrets.


Stay put until we know everything.

[grunts]
The only thing worse than this mission

is Uncle Claw's
"secret" poetry collection.

[beeps]

I mean, uh... [chuckles]
Don't steal my secrets, steal theirs.

- [camera clicks]
- Oh!

- Oh!
- [gasps]

You're hiding somewhere, evil doers.
I know it.

Ah, Gary!

HQ's undercover secret agent

- that's secretly inside MAD.
- [beeps]

- [shushes]
- You're right, Gary.

My mission to spot hidden MAD agents
is hush-hush.

MAD can't suspect I'm surveilling them.

The trick is to make them think
I'm taking photos

of something non-MAD related instead.

And that cute mole
will make a perfect decoy

to keep my super secret surveillance
super secret!

Go, go Gadget, rodent retrieval!

Time to get back to surveillance, Gary.

Enjoy your ultra-top-secret-deep-cover
HQ mission to Neptune next week!

[beeps]

Time to put the mine,
in the Mine Field Sack Race.

This is just for ultra-funtimes,
remember, Pen?

You can chillax.

Oh, I'm totally gonna chillax...
on my giant couch of trophies.

[whistle blows]

Eat my shrapnel, runner-ups!

[grunts]

[Kayla] Ow!

Argh! [grunts]

Boo-ya!

Congratulations, Penny!

- In your face!
- I'm okay.

[clears throat]

I mean, thanks, Chief.

I know I'm supposed to stay put,

but Penny's just begging
for a little unhealthy competition.

Okay, Mr. Mole, keep being adorable
and distracting MAD.

I'm sure I'll capture them
soon enough. [gasps]

Someone just slipped something
into the potato salad.

Come on, Mr. Mole.

- [gasps]
- Liquid anchovies?

So that's your salad's secret ingredient.

[beeps]

Shh! Keep it on the d-low, Gadget.

If word got out, no one would go
near this dish... except Quimby.

That man will eat anything.

Not to worry, Professor,

your secret's as safe as the top-secret
anti-Claw device you're working on.

You know? The one that will destroy MAD
as long as they never find out

it can be deactivated
by burping the alphabet.

- [beeps]
- Gadget! That's on the double d-low.

You're double-do-right,
MAD could be listening.

Better take as many "pictures",
which is code for surveillance, as I can.

Just getting a sh*t of this mole
by a salad.

If I was a MAD spy
I'd take this opportunity to sneak around.

Wink, wink.

Hmm... it's not quite bright enough.

Go, go Gadget, brighter bulbs!

[whistles]

Oh, well, no MAD agents hiding here.

- Better keep looking. Bye, Professor.
- [bombs whistling]

[whistles, explodes]

[gasps] The salad!

[cries]

Ugly cry.

I am so gonna own the Bobbing
For Mission Balls event.

Boom-ya!

You know what? I quit.

You are way to cray about winning, P.
Real talk.

Uh-huh.

Looks like I'm competing against myself.

Finally, some real competition.

[whistle blows]

I lost? To who?

[groans]

You mean "to whom".
And the answer is to me.

Talon! I should've known.

- Hey! This guy's a MAD agent.
- He can't be a MAD agent, Penny.

He's wearing a tie and sunglasses. Duh.

You are such a sore loser.

[grumbles]

Time to win all your lame events.

Oh, if they're so lame, doesn't that make
you double lame for wanting to win them?

No, it makes you triple lame
for losing to me. [laughs]

- Race you to the next round.
- [grunts]

Hello, Brain!
Would you hold my mole for me?

I need to add surveillance notes
to my notebook of HQ secrets.

[beeps]

Most of these pages are already filled
with helpful reminders

of where all of HQ's secret locations are.
See?

[beeps, zaps]

- [barks]
- Brain! Bad dog!

If you scare the decoy away,
MAD will be onto us for sure.

[clanks]

Close only counts in horseshoes
and hand grenades.

Which happens to be the name
of this game. Ha!

[chuckles]

- [zaps]
- Ahh! Not my hair! [grunts]

Even a worm like you can't get low enough
to b*at me.

- Boo-to-the-yeah!
- [grunts]

This next contest will decide
today's grand victor

in a winner-take-all-mishmash
obstacle-course of-every-event-so-far!

Oh, Pen, not only are you gonna lose,
you also let me steal all of HQ's secrets.

Double loss!

Wait... What was that about secrets?

- [whistle blows]
- Hey!

[screams]

Whoa!

- [laughs]
- [zaps]

[chuckles]

- Ahh! Oof!
- [laughs]

[groans]

[grunts]

Ah! Phew.

Bad dog! Stop chasing my mole.

[gasps] Secrets!

That's no mole.
That's a MAD secret-collector.

Wowzers, Brain.

Catching you is tougher than remembering
HQ's defense system

can be deactivated
with the secret code word "Pajamas"!

[beeps]

[machine beeps]

[sighs]

There's always next year.

[beeps]

[gasps]

[Penny grunting]

[Dr. Claw] What happened to my digi-mole?

Not now, I'm about to win.

Ha! You lose. In your face.

Who's the all time winningest winner
of Winlandia?

Me! Booya! Booya! Booya!

Hey, Uncle Gadget, shouldn't you get
a pic of this year's champ?

Great idea, Penny.

What this sh*t really needs
is my decoy mole.

There we go.
Go, go, Gadget, ultimate picture taker.

[screams] I hate this...

I guess that makes him a very sore winner.

And a bruised winner.

And a second degree burn winner too.

[laughs]

Congratulations
on actually rooting out MAD, Gadget.

I don't know how, but you were right.

Yes, I was, Chief.

Crime never stands still...
except when it's posing for a picture.

Let's celebrate with a group sh*t!

- Say mole!
- [all] No!

You simpering baboon!

The mole only transmitted one secret
before HQ destroyed it

and it had better be a good one...
for your sake.

[grunts] The only thing worse
than this mission

is Uncle Claw's "secret"
poetry collection. I mean...


[gasps] It was you!
You've been spreading my secrets!

It wasn't me! Seriously!

Next time, Gadget! Next time!

[upbeat music playing]

Have you got what it takes
to take what you've got...

- and flaunt it... for all of Metro?
- [burps]

Then you might be right
for Metro City's Really Talented!

Hosted by someone who's actually
really talented, me.

Nigel St. De La Peppertone!
You're welcome.

You watch talent shows now?

[Dr. Claw]
They're the modern day gladiator battles.

And the winner will be Metro City's
mayor for the day.

That's the prize?
Yeah, who cut their "sponsorship."

Fool! Don't you see?

All I have to do to take control of Metro
is win a simple talent show.

Then I'll destroy the city!

And build my MAD-themed
abusement park in its place.

[Dr. Claw laughs]

Right. So what's your talent?

Chair sitting?
Desk pounding? Plan failing?

My talent is controlling people
with talent.

And I have a world class talent
right here.

Ah... What can I say?

- MAD Cat!
- MAD Cat?!

Since when does that flea magnet
have a talent?

Since I discovered she could do this.

Behold!

[yawns]

She's the only cat on Earth
who won't chase a laser!

Whoa. It can't be.

That cat isn't chasing the laser.
My mind is blown.

Life will never be the same again.

Lame!

- What about my talents?
- Your talent is being a lackey!

So you'll be MAD Cat's assistant.

[stammers]

[grumbles]

Ah, nothing's as enjoyable
as checking the mail.

It's like our very own tax-funded
Santa Claus!

Did we get anything good?
C'mon, shipment of science textbooks!

Nope! Just crammed with junk mail.

Ow! It's me, Gadget!

And I have a priority package
for delivery.


HQ's received a tip that MAD

has infiltrated
Metro City's Really Talented.

If they win, Dr. Claw will control
the city for a day.


As mayor, Claw could do anything.

Electrify the streets,
flood the sewers, or just level the place.


And it would all be perfectly legal.

Your mission, go undercover
and make sure MAD doesn't succeed.


This message will self-destruct.

You picked the right man
for the job, Chief.

My talent is delivering justice...

- Express post!
- [beeps]

[groans]

Demolitions expert, no.

Master of a thousand languages, nah.

We need an agent with the right talent.

Precisely, someone with stage presence,

natural star power,
the ability to hold onto sparklers...

You're right, Brain.

That someone has been right in front
of us all along.

- Penny!
- Me?

- Huh?
- Sure, I'm talented,

but I'm not sure
I'm talent show talented.

Nonsense.
You're good at everything you try.

Why, I bet you could even balance
on a ball.

While hula hooping.
And doing jazz hands!

- Ahh!
- [thuds]

Well, Brain, if the prize was for
sniffing other dogs' behinds,

you'd be a shoe-in.

But we need someone with actual talent.

Ahh!

Okay, Penny, show us what you got.

[grunts]

- Ahh! Fire in the hole!
- [beeping]

Huh?

[yowls]

Brain, if you wanna watch,
you'll have to keep it down.

- [whimpers]
- Very good, Penny!

You just need a little more zazz.
And razzle-dazzle.

If only I could show you what I mean.

Not now, Brain.

I'm trying to think of an example
of showmanship for Penny.

- [grunts]
- [computer] Combat simulation activated.

[grunts]

Bravo! We found your talent.

- Martial arts?
- Modern dance.

I can't wait to see your routine.

- Neither can I...
- [whimpers]

[Talon] Ugh, who knew
you'd be such a diva?

- [glass shatters]
- Oh, wait, everyone!

This is officially...

The worst mission ever.

All right, Penny,
let's see what you've been working on.

Music!

- [music playing]
- Hmm... blooming onion.

Giraffe playing tennis.
Concrete golf shoes.

- [Penny grunts]
- Zombie in a blender?

[yelps]

Oh, I get it.

You're pretending to be terrible
to fool the competition.

- Pretending?
- Huh?

Keep it up, while I go undercover
to hunt down MAD.

Go, go, Gadget, clever disguise!

An inspector disguise?

It's so obvious,
MAD will never suspect it.

Brilliant thinking, me.

Brain, you help Uncle Gadget.

I'm gonna try to, I dunno...
get this right?

[sighs]

[grunts]

[beeping]

So? How's my talented princess?

There's no pleasing that furball.

I've given her everything
except the hair on my head.

Then what are you waiting for,
you inept buffoon?


Get shaving.

Penny's here? This is bad.

- [yelps]
- [laughs]

Really, really bad! [laughs]

So, Penny. You think you can dance?

Wait 'til MAD wipes the dance floor
with you.

HQ's tip was right.

MAD hasn't just infiltrated
the talent show, it's overrun it!

[gasps] That MAD agent's
smuggled in a w*apon.

Go, go, Gadget, w*apon confiscator!

Wow...!

Wowzers!

MAD's cloning kung-fu
fighting peacocks now?

Diabolical!
Go, go, Gadget, bird cage!

- [whimpers]
- [screaming]

Brain, what are you lying around for?

Can't you see there's a throng
of MAD agents over there?

Go, go, Gadget, mass MAD takedown!

[all gasp]

- [elephant trumpets]
- [people screaming]

[applause]

Hello, Metro City!

Give it up for your really
talented host, me! Like to dance?

Then get ready to bust a move
with our first contestant.

[gasps] I'm first? Okay, you can do this.

- [Nigel] Here's Talon!
- Huh?

Oh, good, it's Talon.

Wait. It's Talon?

[cheering]

[applause]

I have to compete with that?

That's right, folks.
You can't spell talented without Talon.

- I guess spelling isn't your talent.
- [crowd gasps]

Looks like we have a dance off!

[crowd cheering]

No... We have a dance battle!

[grunts]

[grunts]

- Hiya!
- [audience screams]

[crowd booing]

Aw, too bad. Metro City has spoken.

You are both... talentless!

[buzzer]

- At least I stopped MAD.
- Technically? Not yet.

It's time for MAD Cat's "purr-formance".

Let's see if our next contestant
has what it takes.

[crowd cheering]

- [yawns]
- [cheering]

It can't be.

That cat isn't chasing the lasers?!

My mind is blown!
Life will never be the same again!

- [crowd cheering]
- Exactly what I said. Wait, what?

This is bananas! She's a cat!

There are lasers! She's not chasing them!

- I've never seen anything like this!
- [crowd cheering]

- MAD is going to win?
- I know, right?

Uh, I mean, in your face!

Wowzers! MAD is attacking that poor cat
with lasers.

Don't worry, kitty. I'm here to help.
Go, go, Gadget, cat cover.

- [zapping]
- [crowd screaming]

- [screeches]
- [shrieks]

[crowd gasping]

MAD Cat is disqualified
for leaving the stage,

and also for destroying the stage.

Was that rule not clear?

- It seems we have no winner tonight.
- [crowd booing]

Don't blame me!

All the other contestants
were mysteriously injured before the show.

You've done it again, Gadget.

MAD didn't win and Dr. Claw
will only be the Mayor of Failure Town.

Not a problem, Chief.
I'm just glad Penny found her real talent.

Taking Talon down.

Modern dance.
I can't wait to put her in lessons.

Wait! Is that dog putting out fires?

- What a talent! He wins!
- [crowd cheering]

Sorry, folks. He's not a contestant.
He's just an untalented dog.

Oh, then I declare myself the winner,

since I'm the only
truly talented person here.

For my first act as mayor,

I'm turning Metro City
into an amusement park!

[applause]

- Well, he's certainly got my vote!
- [grunts, groans]

It seems I've found a talent
for you after all, Talon.

As my abusement park test rider.

- I call this one "The cr*ck of Doom!"
- [beeps]

I hate this ride!

[laughs]
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