03x21 - The After Party

[bunniefuu]

I'm gonna go
to Billy's after party.

His father went back
into rehab.

Oh, no, you're kidding.

Oh, but it'll be
unsupervised.

No, it's been canceled.

What? Why does everything bad
happen to me?

Hey.

We better get going
if we're gonna skip history.

Hey.

No, I am not giving you
any more tongue depressors

so you can fling spitballs
hat people.

That's not why
I'm here...

Although I am out.

No, I'm here because some
of the boys in class

have come to me
with something

because I'm cool
and I have all the answers.

So you came to me?

Exactly.

Prom is right around
the corner,

and traditionally that's
a big night for us fellas.

But there's
one particular item

that the boys
have to come prepared with

if the night
is gonna go well,

if you know what I mean,
and me thinks you do.

Me thinks
I'm in the ballpark.

Go on.

There's a lot of questions
about this item,

like "where do you get it?"

"What size?

What are good colors?"

And frankly a lot of boys

don't even know
how to put them on.

And they want me to help?

Yeah, it's quite a job.

I still can't put on one

without jabbing myself
with a pin.

Are we talking about

what I think
we're talking about?

Yeah, corsages.

Or...

Oh.

What?

Yeah, put some pepper
hon that.

Okay.

And slice some onions.

All right.

Yeah, and lots and lots
of garlic powder.

Do you want to make this?

I don't know how to cook.

So, what'd you guys think

about my article
in the school paper?

Wow, well,
it was very good.

Yeah, mm-hmm.

You didn't read it,
did you?

Of course we read it,
and it was provocative.

As usual.

And insightful.

As always.

So, do you agree
with my position?

Well, when it started
I didn't,

but by the end -- whoo! --
You really had me.

You know what?

Hit's okay
that you didn't read it.

Why should you care about issues
that I'm passionate about?

Kerry, I didn't know
you were a lesbian.

What?!

Give me that article.

I'm not gay.

The article is about
gay couples at Liberty high

who feel unwelcome
at the prom.

I was just trying
to open some minds

and offer some support.

Anyone with half
a brain could see

that it was written by
a straight person.

Extra, extra --
kerry likes the ladies.

Who's Nikki alcott?

Oh, Nikki alcott
is a very attractive senior

who dates a lot of boys.

So she puts out.

Hyeah.
Why is she calling here?

Rory, it's Nikki alcott.

Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!

I was wondering if you wanted
to go to the prom with me.

Yes, yes!

Give me the phone.

Uh, Rory, I don't know
if it's such a good idea

for you to date Nikki alcott.

Have you lost
your mind, woman?

Uh, anyway, let me know.
Hbye.

H
mom!

Give the boy a night
in the big leagues, huh?

He knows right from wrong.

Oh, all right.

But what's a senior want
with a freshman anyway?

She's probably worked her way
through the other grades.

Not helping.

Nikki? Ahem.

Hey, Nikki,
it's Rory hennessy here.

Just wanted to call
and let you know

that it looks like I'm free
for prom night.

What's up, players...

And grandpa?

Well, Rory just got a date
for the prom.

Nikki alcott.

Nikki alcott.

Oh, congratulations, aunt Cate,
you're gonna be a grandmother.

Hey, I am nervous enough
about this prom.

Oh, speaking of the prom,
you're right.

The guys in my class,

they weren't talking
about corsages.

They were talking
about prophylactics.

How'd you figure it out?

They set me straight
when I told them

most girls like to wear them
on their wrists.

You know what I can't wrap
my brain around?

When did proms
become "r" rated?

You know what I can't wrap
hmy brain around?

When did he learn
the word "prophylactic"?

Hi, honey.

Hey, guys.

Um, mom, can I ask you
a question?

Sure.

You trust me, right?

Why?

Well, don't just jump
to something being wrong.

I just want to know
if you trust me.

Yes, I trust you.

Why?

Okay, just hear me out.

I want to throw
a completely safe,

halcohol-free,
after-prom party in a hotel.

It would end at dawn

so that kids could drive home
hhin daylight

after eating breakfast,

the most important meal
hof the day.

No.

Mom, come on.
I'm responsible.

Don't you have confidence
that you raised me right?

No.

Don't you think this is one
of those opportunities

to prove what a responsible
hperson I've become?

Bringing the car home
with a full t*nk of gas

or not letting
the house burn down

when you make a grilled
cheese sandwich --

those are opportunities.

Can't we just discuss this
ha little bit more?

No, there is absolutely
no way you are throwing

or attending an after-prom party
at a hotel.

Ugh, my life is so unfair!
My life is so unfair!

Doesn't she have to pay
a royalty to kerry

every time she says that?

Can you believe her?

Don't you think you were
a little hard on her?

No, I think
I was just hard enough.

That's what they need
to save them from themselves.

I don't think she needs
all that much saving.

I mean, she's
a really good girl.

Yes, she is.

She's also a teenage girl.

And I was one, and I know
what they're capable of.

Hyeah, well,
I had two teenage girls,

and I think I know
what they're capable of.

Oh, yeah?

You want to know what we did
on our prom night?

I do know.

The gym floor opened up,
you fell in the pool,

and you spent four hours
hdrying off.

I bought it then,
and I buy it now.

Kerry?

Hi, I'm Monica.

Oh, you play lacrosse,
hright?

The enforcer.

That's me.

You're really good.

Listen, I read your article
about gays and the prom,

and it really spoke to me.

Thank you.

It's something
I'm passionate about.

Me, too.

So, about the prom.

I was wondering if you wanted
hto take the next step,

turn a few heads
for the cause.

Are you asking me
to the prom?

Yeah.

What do you think?

Oh, my god,

what a statement
that would make.

Is that a yes?

That's a big yes.

Great.

Cate: Hey, honey.

Oh, hey, mom.

This is Monica.
She's my prom date.

People are gonna be talking
about that, aren't they?

I think they will.

Hi, Monica.
Nice to meet you.

You, too.

Have her home by
midnight.

Hi, honey.

Whatever.

What was that about?

My mom won't let me throw
the after party.

You mean you asked her?

I had this stupid idea
that she might trust me.

We better get going
if we're gonna skip math.

Hey, Rory.

Tell me this is one
of your teachers.

Mom, I'd like you
to meet Nikki alcott.

Oh, sure, Nikki.

Nice to meet you.

Hi hear you're taking
my little fella to the prom.

Yeah, I sure am,
and I can't wait.

Nurse hennessy, where have
you been hiding him?

Cub scouts.

Bye, mom.

Hey.

Now I'm thinking the guys
were talking about corsages.

What?

Someone said you have
to refrigerate them

to keep them fresh.

That's got to be flowers.

I don't know, C.J.,
but, you know,

this whole prom thing
is really getting to me.

Oh, that's right.

I heard you put the kibosh
on Bridget's big after party.

Yeah, you're darn right
hi did.

You can slow these kids down,
but you can't stop them.

It's like spraying deodorant
on a cockroach.

What's that
supposed to mean?

It screws them up at first.

They're like, "uhh!"

And then...

Pretty soon they're doing
their cockroach thing again.

The point is these kids
are gonna have a party.

You might as well

just rent the hotel room
for them yourself.

Are you kidding?

Hthere's no way
I'm renting them a room.

If you don't get them a place,
someone else will.

Attention, students.

After the prom,
this year's safe and sane

but fun, fun, fun
school-sanctioned after party

will be held at the home

of Bridget, kerry,
and Rory hennessy.

So, let the alcohol-free
good times roll.

Oh...

My...

God.

Sweet!

This is the coolest party
I've ever been to!

Why do I believe that?

Listen, here's
my adrenaline sh*t

just in case I go crazy
and eat a peanut.

Ooh, party on, Duane.

All right.

Hey, gramps.

Hi, sweetie. Hi.

Hey, gramps.

Good lord, son,
is that Nikki alcott?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

I'm just so damn
proud of you.

Pot sticker?
Shrimp puff?

I don't have those.

They're just nicknames
I made up for you two.

We're fine, C.J.

I'm gonna grab a drink.
Do you want something?

Oh, no, I'm good.

C.J., you should've
seen us tonight.

The minute we walked in,
everyone was buzzing.

Well, why didn't you bring
that punch bowl to this party?

No, I'm being serious, C.J.
we really made a difference.

I see you brought your date
hto the after party.

Hooh la la.
I know what that means.

There's no ooh la la.

We're making
a political statement.

Hno, the prom was
the political statement.

The after party
is ooh la la.

And you know what?

I think Monica
might wanna-ca.

No, she won't.

Hope you're right,
shrimp puff.

Oh, I love this song.

Let's dance.

Really? Didn't we make
a point at the prom?

Hyeah.
This is just for fun.

Ooh la la.

Hi, honey.
How was the prom?

Fine. How's your lame
after party?

It is not a lame party.

Everybody's just starting
to get down wit' it.

I'm gonna go to bed.

I don't want to be seen
at this freak show.

It's not a freak show.

What's your favorite thing
about potato chips?

Cocktail wienie?

Stop calling me that.

C.J., is this party
a total failure?

No, not at all.

You've discovered
the cure for fun.

Bridget is acting like
I ruined her entire life.

No, just her social life.

Well, I don't care.

I did what I thought
was right.

And her reputation
and her prom night.

Well, I didn't mean
to do all that.

And her chance to be in
peanut boy's snack-umentary.

Maybe there's something
I could do to cheer her up.

Take her to the
"heffalump" movie.

I laughed start to finish.

All right. I'm just
gonna go talk to her.

You know what?

She's not that anxious
to see you now.

Why don't you let her
hcool off,

and then I'll go test
the waters in a while.

Thanks.

I don't know why
I like potato chips.

I just like 'em.

Great party.

Yeah.

Bridget?

Bridget?

Aha.

All right,
you want to mope.

I get it.

Not much of a way to spend
your prom night, though --

in the dark with the sheets
pulled over your head.

Although that's pretty much
how I spent mine...

Except I was hog-tied
in the back of a pickup truck.

Ever been left for dead
in Tijuana?

Hcome on,
that's kind of funny.

Look, don't be like this.

Come on, get up.
Your mom --

uh-huh.

Okay, now, this is exactly
like my prom night.

You lied to your mother,
you borrowed my good wig,

and you made me share

a painful memory
with a volleyball.

Where are you?

I'm at the after party,
my after party.

You're not gonna tell mom,
hare you?

No, not if you get your butt
back here right now.

I can't really
come home right now.

Things are a little
out of control.

That's not your problem.

You're right.
It's yours.

I booked the hotel
under your credit card.

What was that?

Someone moving
the coffee table,

making room to dance.

Where'd they move it to?

The pool.

You know what?

You tell those hooligans
to stay put

'cause I'm gonna get down there

and deal with
those kids C.J. style!

Drop me, you hooligans!

Ow, no pinching!

Put me down!
I'm serious!

Put me d-- aah!

Aah!

Dude, get a room.

We did.

Get another one.

Hello?

Aunt Cate.

Why are you calling?

You went upstairs
to check on Bridget.

I haven't seen you since.

Oh, Bridget's fine.

She's in really good hands
hright now.

Oh, I'm not worried
about Bridget.

She had a good head
on her shoulders.

So, where are you?

Uh, I'm in Bridget's room.

No.

I think I'm in trouble.

Yeah, you sure are.

Aunt Cate, seriously --
I think I'm in trouble!

Guys!

Hey, gramps.

Hi, sweetie.

Well, how's your political
statement going?

Great, great.

Not so great?
Hhnot so great.

It's starting
to get complicated.

Monica may be getting
the wrong impression.

I think she likes me.
I don't know what to do.

I always felt when things
got confusing between people

you just tell the truth.

I don't want
to hurt her feelings.

You can do
what I used to do.

Just tell her you already
have a girlfriend.

Grandpa.

There you are.

I brought you your drink.

Yeah, well, I think
I'll leave you two.

I promised Duane I'd give him
my thoughts on ranch dip.

I think we really
shook them up tonight.

Yeah, I think everyone's
a little shaken up.

I'm having a good time.

Kerry, you're a really
special person.

Um...monica, look, I want
to be straight with you...

Which brings me
to my next point.

As two gay women,

how do you feel
about pretzels?

I'm not gay.
She's gay.

I'm not gay.
You're gay.

No, I'm sure about this.
HI'm not gay.

Why did you ask me
to the prom?

To support the cause.
Why did you say yes?

To support the cause.

Wait, then if we're
not gay,

what kind of statement
are we making?

Do you think you guys
could kiss?

I promised the a.V. Club
I'd come back with something.

Want to sneak up
to my room?

Rory, I know I have
a reputation.

I haven't heard anything.

The reason I've gone out
with so many guys

is because I was searching
hfor something,

but now my search is over.

Really?

Hbeing with you,
it's made me feel something

I never thought
I would feel before.

I feel the same way.

I'm gay.

Me, too.

What?

Well, when I saw kerry
and Monica tonight,

it all made sense,
you know?

They inspired me
to be true to myself.

Well, that sucks.

I mean, for me it sucks.

Listen, you will always be
the one who made it clear

that I never want
to be with a guy.

That really sucks.

I mean that if I can't be
hattracted to a guy

as sweet and cute as you,

then I'm definitely
not attracted to guys.

I guess that makes it
a little better.

Anything?

Um, Rory, would you mind

if I talked to kerry
for a little bit?

I think there's something
you should know about kerry.

Hwhatever it is,
I'll discover it on my own.

Fine.

All right, this party is --

all right,
this party is --

all right, where the hell
is this party?

Mom?

I told you
not to have a party.

Now, where is everybody?

It got out of control,
so I shut it down.

I was just cleaning up.

Oh, I'm so glad!

You cleaned up after the party
I told you not to have.

Bridget, you are in
so much trouble.

I know. I'm sor--

don't argue with me.

I told you
not to have a party,

and you disobeyed me.

You wouldn't even
give me a chance.

I don't want to talk about.
I lived it.

I was a teenager once.

I know what goes on.

I know about the drinking

and experimenting
with dr*gs and sex...

Which my friends did
while I watched, horrified.

Mom, I don't drink,
I've never done dr*gs,

and I'm still a virgin.

I'm not you.

I never thought
you were.

Okay, maybe I did.

All right, I did.

Mom, look,
you taught me well,

and I listened.

I just wish you'd listen
hto me more.

Well, I do.
I want to listen more.

When you tell me
that you're gonna have

an after-prom party
in a hotel,

all I can think is that
you're gonna overdose on dr*gs

and have indiscriminate sex.

Is that what being
a mom is like?

Yes!

It's the voices,
the constant voices of doom.

Well, how about the voices

hthat say Bridget
is student-body president,

Bridget worked
really hard this year?

I know you have, honey.

It's just that those voices
get drowned out

by me thinking that you're
gonna do what I did

when I was a teenager.

Okay.

But if you knew I wasn't me
hbeing you back then,

only me being me
right now,

would you have let me
thrown this party?

Would you have let
the responsible Bridget

throw the party?

Have you seen the
"heffalump" movie yet?

What?

I think it's time
we go home.

Yeah, you're right.

Now that we've
settled this

and your anger
and disappointment

is punishment enough.

Nice try.

How long?

A month.

Well, there go
those crazy voices again.

Oh, no, the crazy voices are
saying to lock her in a cage.

Hey! Hey!

Come here!

Help me!

Hey!

Eh, still not as bad
as my prom night.