03x23 - The Sleepover

[bunniefuu]

Well, there's my ice
Fisher-man and Fisher-woman.

This sucks on a historic level.

I can't believe
you're making us go ice fishing.

Yeah, I don't even
like fish.

I don't even like ice.

For the last time,
this is for grandpa, all right?

He loves ice fishing,
and he loves his grandkids,

and you never go with him.

this is just one
of those things you have to do

to be loving and generous.

That is exactly why.
Thanks, C.J.

You're welcome.
Why the hell do I have to go?

'Cause grandpa
loves all his grandkids.

You should hear that old coot
htalk in his sleep.

He's not that fond of me.

Well, g*ng,
we all raring to go?

Whoo!

I'm so excited!

I'll bet with my grandkids
with me this year,

I'm gonna nab big daddy.

I hope he's talking
about a fish.

I'm gonna go get
the rest of our gear,

and then we're on the road,
just me and my g*ng.

Look how excited he is!

He's like a little kid.

In a -year-old body.

You know, mom, if this
is so important to you,

why don't you come?

Well, I wish I could,
but it's staff-and-faculty day,

and I have to be at school.

Look, I'm not
gonna say it again.

This trip with your grandfather
means the world to him.

The one chance to get out
of this crazy nuthouse alone,

and my damn grandkids
want to go with me.

Well, I can't tell them no,
hstinky.

I mean, they're all excited
to be with grandpa.

Well, of course I love them,
but I just wish this morning

they'd have woken up
with food poisoning.

Hey, there's
my little fishing group.

Yes, sir.
Yeah. Hi.

I was afraid you guys
were gonna back out on me.

Are you kidding?
Not us!

We loves our fishin'.

All right,
have a great time!

Oh, yeah!

Good morning, Margaret.

Nurse hennessy.

You know,
you could call me Cate.

I prefer keeping things
on a professional basis.

In fact, I'd be
much more comfortable

if you called me
miss brandenbauerbern.

You let ed
call you Margie.

What principal gibb chooses
to call me has no bearing

on what I prefer
to be called by you,

which is
miss brandenbauerbern.

All right, then, miss...

That.

I was wondering
if I could go talk to ed.

Principal gibb
is extremely busy.

Perhaps I could help.

Well, it's not a school matter.
It's more personal.

Oh, so that's
how you want to play it.

No, I don't want
to play it at all.

I would just like to talk to ed
for a few minutes.

Nurse hennessy...

As principal gibb's
administrative assistant,

it is my job to protect
his valuable time.

It is I to whom he confides
every detail of his life,

hwhich means
it is I who will determine

whether or not it is worth
han interruption.

Fine.

Then tell him congratulations
for getting on the list.

What list?

He was named one of the top
high-school principals

in the state.

I didn't know about that.
How did you know about that?

He e-mailed me at home.

Hoh!
So that's your game.

This is ridiculous.

You can't go in there.

Principal gibb is in a conference
and cannot be disturbed.

He was adamant.
Principal gibb!

Margie.
Hey, Cate, what a nice surprise.

Come on in. I got a bagel
with your name on it.

Thanks, Margie.

Yeah.

You were voted one of the topte,
high-school principals deal.

In the state.

It's a big deal.

Yeah, but I was rd.

If it was a horse race, they'd
still be nailing my shoes on.

Ed, you are too modest.

All right, I'll let you get
back to work.

Oh, you know, this is
my first year at the school.

What exactly do we do
on staff-and-faculty day?

Honestly, nothing.

Personally, I take a master key
and go through the kids lockers.

Ed.

Seriously, there's
a couple of meetings

and a sexual-harassment
hseminar.

We'll have your cute, little
butt out of here by : .

I'll see you later.

He can be so funny!

Oh, he's more than that.

He's witty, he's pithy,
and intellectually engaging.

You know, I'd like you
to help me out with something.

I'd like to throw him a party at
lunch for getting on the list.

You're throwing him
a party?

Hhow do you know
I'm not throwing him a party?

Never mind.
I'll do it myself.

Wait.

I'll help.

You will?

A party's actually
a lovely idea.

Thank you.

All right, then, at lunchtime,
you get everybody in here.

I'll bring him down the hall,
and we'll all yell, "surprise!"

It'll be so much fun.

In the meantime, I'll go out and
get a cake and some decorations.

Nurse hennessy, you can't just
go gallivanting around town

for cakes and streamers.

Hthis is
staff-and-faculty day.

Oh, come on.

You know as well as I do,
we don't do a damned thing.

He told you?

All right, here we are,
my little slice of heaven.

Hoh, my god!
There's a hole in the floor!

Uh, that's
where the fish are.

Didn't the unabomber
live here for a while?

Jim: All right, look,
I have baited all your hooks,

so grab a rod, stick that little
worm down in the hole,

and we're gonna catch
some bass.

Um, nothing's
happening.

Hlean over and say,
"here, fishy, fishy, fishy."

So how long's
this gonna take?

It can take all day,
but, hey, who cares?

Here we are, engaged in an epic
struggle, as old as time.

We're gonna try to capture
the wily king of the lake,

using nothing but sheer will
and superior intelligence.

Here, fishy,
fishy, fishy.

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy,
fishy, fishy, fishy, fishy.

There you are.

It was open.

I was just making sure that,
uh, uh -- what's up, Cate?

I was wondering
if we could talk.

Sure, sure.
What's on your mind?

Well, not here.
Let's go in your office.

Okay.

Uh...

These are fine.

So what's this about?
Is everything okay?

Oh, everything's fine.
In fact...

Surprise!

Oh, Cate,
you shouldn't have.

Hwell,
where is everybody?

Well, are we
in the right room?

Heverybody
was supposed to be here.

This was supposed
to be a surprise.

Oh, gosh, was
that supposed to be today?

Everyone went
to lunch and such.

Margaret.

Not much
of a party, is it?

Oh, no, no, no.
I-It's fine, Cate.

It was very thoughtful.

Hno, it's not fine.
I wanted you to have a party.

Well, we can still have
ha party.

Hey, guys,
come on in here.

We're celebrating
with principal gibb.

Y mírese tan bien
por una persona años.

W-what did he say?

He said you look pretty good
hfor .

Oh!

Oh, Eduardo,
I am not .

Oh.
Oh.

So is there,
like, a TV?

No!

Bringing a TV
into a fishing shack

is worse than bringing a --

oh, that's me.
Hey, Marissa.

No, I'm ice fishing...

So that I can spend quality time
hhwith my grandpa.

Oh, for Pete's --

this'll just take
a second.

Hey, dude, what's up?

They're selling danang pants
hat % off,

and I'm stuck in Siberia?

But loving it.

Hdude,
she is smoking hot!

Oh, for
the love of --

god, it's Chelsea.

Every time I like a guy,
she goes after him.

I don't want to talk to that
two-face backstabber again!

Well, you don't have to.

We're out here enjoying the ice,
heach other's company --

Chelsea!

You know what?

I think what they're doing
his despicable.

Here we are, trying to spend
a special day with you,

hthe beloved patriarch
of our family, and these guys --

they're just being teenagers,
hhyou know?

Oh get it!

Hello?

Do you mind?
It's private.

Quite the gentleman,
walking me to the door.

Hwell, thanks
for taking me to dinner.

You really
didn't have to.

Oh, are you kidding?

Hafter
that surprise party?

That Margaret
really sandbagged me.

Yeah,
she can be quirky.

Deranged.
Hhbetter.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Ed?

Hmm?

I had an idea.

You know, it's only : , and my
family is gone for the weekend.

And I have
a great bottle of wine.

I just thought --

hyes!
Yes, the answer's yes.

Well, I didn't even ask
a question.

Oh.
Continue.

Would you like to come in
and watch "Lawrence of Arabia"?

Hyes.
Yes, the answer's yes.

Good.

I love that movie.

Hit's -- it's like
you were reading my mind.

Well, I have it in green.
Hi have it in blue.

Her tongue stud got caught
in his braces?

Kerry: Shut up!
Shut up!

I have it in pink.

I would like to save money
on auto insurance.

What are you wearing?

I have it in,
like, an aqua.

You have an awful high voice
hfor a dude.

All right, all right!

That's it!
Give me those phones!

Come on,
give them here now!

Come on!
Okay!

Haah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!

What are you doing?!

Are you insane?!

This is the worst fishing trip
I've ever been on.

Nobody else brings
their grandkids out here.

Why did you guys want to come
in the first place?

We didn't.
Mom made us.

Hshe thought
that's what you wanted.

That's the last thing
I wanted.

She thought you wanted
"special time" with us.

Well, I don't, ever again!

Hwe're going home!
Now?

That's right.

We'll drive all night, and we'll
be home in the morning.

Should we call mom?

We don't have
any phones.

What about
your phone, grandpa?

I don't bring a phone.

I came here for the peace
and freakin' quiet!

Shut up, egan!

Up yours, reverend!

To keep receiving
quality programming

like "Lawrence of Arabia,"

please pick up your phone
and make a pledge now.

Call in the next five minutes

hand receive
"Ken burns on Ken burns,"

a -disk set.

Uh...

Hello?

Oh, my god!

Uh...

Uh, yeah, we fell asleep
watching "Lawrence of Arabia."

I'm sorry about my head
in your, uh...

Oh, no, no, no, never mind.
Hit's fine.

I'm sure you were just reaching
for a pillow in your sleep.

I'm gonna make
some coffee.

Oh, my god,
it's -- it's : .

I-I've got a meeting downtown
hat : .

Downtown?

I've got to go home
and shower.

Hoh, no,
you'll never make that.

Well, I'll just wash
the critical parts.

Look, why don't you just run
upstairs and take a shower here?

What?

I'll iron your clothes,
and you'll look good as new.

Oh, and here, here,
wear my dad's robe.

Hoh, i-i-i don't know
if that's such a good idea.

I just washed it.

Hhno, no.
I mean taking a shower here.

Oh, come on.

It's not like
we're showering together.

Hbesides, then
you'll have time for coffee

and time to make
your meeting.

Okay, okay.

I won't go through
any of your personal things.

I didn't think
you would.

Then I probably
didn't need to say that.

Oh, when you get your clothes
off, just throw them down here!

Okay!

Oh, dear god in heaven!

Oh, my -- oh!

Oh, my god.

Oh, no!

Hbridget:
He's the worst driver ever.

Oh, no!

What are you guys
doing home?

I don't want
grandkids anymore!

What?

He threw our cellphones
in the lake.

You're lucky
I stopped there.

It's : A.M. what
are you doing all dressed up?

I'm not all dressed up.
Hwhat happened?

Ah, these kids --
they can't go five minutes

without some god-awful
electronic device

stuck to their head.

C.J.'s right.
Why are you all dressed up?

Can't a woman look good
on a Saturday morning?

Whose shoes are these?

Gee, I don't know.
Why would I know?

They're not mine. I don't wear
those Nancy-boy loafers.

Why are there
two coffee cups?

You know, I was trying to decide
hhwhich one to use.

That one
is my normal one,

but then, you know,
I'm all dressed up.

I thought I'd try
the fancy one.

Mom, is there
somebody here?

Don't use that tone of voice
hwith me,

and just what exactly
are you accusing me of?

We think she gots a fella
hin the house.

That is the most preposterous
thing anybody could think.

More preposterous
than flying pants?

Well, actually,
I hired a cleaning lady

since I can't get any
of you to help.

Ahh...

I'll come up
and get the rest!

Gibb: If you come up here now,
it's at your own risk.

Gibb!

Mom?! Mom?!

Well, don't --
it's not what it looks like.

Looks like a fox got
into the hennessy house.

Hello, everyone.

I know this looks
a little awkward,

but I assure you,
it was completely innocent.

Thank you.

In time, this will become
a treasured story

shared
at family gatherings.

That's my robe.

Yes, and it's like being wrapped
in a cloud.

I'll return it
to you tomorrow.

Oh, glass!
I'm okay, though!

Who wants waffles?

I-I'll have waffles.

Mom, did you and
principal gibb have -- no.

Were you thinking about -- no.

Have you ever --
no!

Never?
Not with him!

Look, I took ed out
for an innocent dinner.

He kindly drove me home.

He graciously walked me
to the door,

and then, as a friend,
we watched "Lawrence of Arabia."

We fell asleep.

Any questions?

Are we ever gonna have
Hany waffles?

If you guys get married,
will my grades go up?

We are not
getting married!

Well, what
if you have to?

Rory!

Ew, his naked feet
were on our floor!

His naked body
was in our house!

His naked butt
was in my robe.

If this gets out at school,
we're gonna have to move.

No, nobody's gonna have to move.
Nobody has to be ashamed.

Nobody has to get married.

These are two consenting
adults -- he did consent, right?

Nothing happened!

All right, look, if I can't be
trusted by my own family,

then just forget it!

I believe you!

I totally believe you.

Let's get
that couch cleaned.

Well, hi.
Hhhi.

Why are you looking
at me like that?

'Cause you still have that glow
from...You know.

We didn't do anything.

Right, right, right.
So where are you going?

To have sex with ed
in his office.

I can't get enough.

I'm going to my office.

Ooh, want me to walk in front
of you, create a diversion?

What's going on?

Hthere's
a rumor going around.

Apparently someone saw you
and ed gibb at the restaurant.

And someone else saw the
gibbster leaving our house

in grandpa's robe.

That started
another kind of rumor.

This is ridiculous.

Come on, aunt Cate, Detroit's
a small town with loose lips

and a hunger for scandal,

and you're dishing it out
with a big, fat ladle.

Oh, please.

I'd like to see ed.

From what I've heard,
you already have.

What?

I'm in love
with that man...

And not just because
of the juice

that comes with being the
rd-best principal in Michigan.

I've always loved him,

and you come in,
and in one night...

Bed him.

Hi.

Hi.
Have you heard?

Oh, yeah.

Apparently
I bedded you last night.

Well, a friend of Margie's
saw us at the restaurant,

and it just grew
from there.

Oh, my god.

I've heard everything
from we did it at your house

to the parking lot
at the mini mart.

Oh!

What are we gonna do?

Well, we're gonna stay the heck
away from that mini mart.

You know, apparently someone
also saw you leaving my house.

That was Margie.

What?

Apparently she'd been there
since : in the morning.

I'm so sorry
about all this, Cate.

No, it's not
your fault.

I'm just saying, a -year-old
hman should know better

than to start a movie
at : at night.

You and I cannot seem
to be just friends.

What do you mean?

Well, you wanted to date me,
and I wasn't ready.

And then when I wanted to date
you, you had a girlfriend.

That all gets resolved.

We get to that nice, easy place,
and then this happens.

We get all this grief
for a sex scandal,

and we never even did
hanything.

It does not seem
fair, does it?

No.

No, it doesn't.

Here's my letter
of resignation.

It has been an honor
and a pleasure

and, obviously,
a misdirected obsession.

Hyeah, yeah.
This is what it's all about --

solitude...

And basic needs.

Ahh.

Mmm.

Yeah, man...

Nature and nothing else.

Ah, ah, ah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

All right, all right,
I'm coming.

There you go,
you rascal, you.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Darn it, you --
you son of a g*n!

I got you.
I got you.

Oh, there you are,
you rascal.

I finally got you,
you old codger!

What do you say to that, huh?