04x12 - Harmageddon - Do No Arm

[bunniefuu]

[wails]

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

This is Wendy Windley
reporting from SPACEA.

Space rocks rock!

Old salty for life! [grunts]

That's right, Old Salty's on its way.

The massive comet will be making
a close fly-by with Earth later today.

As it streaks across the sky,
remember to wish upon this sh**ting star.

[Dr. Claw] You want me to wish? Very well.

I wish the comet was headed
right for Earth,

extinguishing everyone
and everything I dislike.

Metro City, Gadget, sardines,
people who pronounce vitamins "viti-mins."

Yeah. Aren't you forgetting something?

Uh, don't worry, you're on that list too.

No, you're forgetting something
even more important.

Wishing upon a sh**ting star
is complete baloney.

You're baloney! Wishes are real!

Now go to SPACEA, steal a rocket,
fly to Old Salty

and steer it right into Metro City for me.

Yeah, that's a great plan.

Except how do you expect me
to steer a comet?

With a steering wheel? [scoffs]

Exactly!

- [computer bleeps]
- The Comet Wheel is the latest technology

for driving comets,
meteors, and asteroids.

Sure, fine, steering a comet
will be pretty wicked awesome.

But, quick question,

how will I get off the comet
before it crashes?

[stammers]
I... I totally have that part figured out.

- But it's, um, a surprise!
- [laughter]

[Penny] When Old Salty does its fly-by,

- I'll be like hi-guy!
- [Brain sniffs]

- Way up-high.
- [whimpers]

Relax, Brain, science can predict
Old Salty's exact orbit.

And the odds of it hitting us
are lower than Talon's IQ.

- Probability burn.
- [Inspector Gadget screaming]

Brain, did I just hear someone say,
and I'm paraphrasing,

"Fiery rocks are coming from space
to incinerate you into doggy dust?"

Well, not to worry,
because I'll protect you.

With my go, go Gadget,
meteor-proof umbrella.

[yelps, screams]

Wowzers!

- We were worried about falling stars...
- [groans]

...when we should've been worried
about falling Brains.

[sighs]

- [glass shattering]
- Chief!

I always knew looking at your face
was like peering deep

into the wonders of the universe.

Thank you, Gadget.

But there will be no one left to wonder
about anything if MAD has their way.

- [grunts]
- [farting sound]

Oh.

HQ believes MAD plans to steer
Old Salty towards Earth.

If they succeed,
humanity will join the dinosaurs,

woolly mammoths and dial-up modems
in the Halls of Extinction.

Your mission, stop the meteorite
from becoming a meteor-wrong.

This message will self-destruct.

You can count on me, Chief.

But if I'm going to stop this comet,

I'll need my special space boots,
my comet repellent, oh, and doggy bags.

Comets, may be space garbage, Brain,

but that doesn't mean
you use them as a bathroom.

- [groans]
- It's okay, Brain.

You help Uncle Gadget find his gear.

I'll get a head start
and stake out SPACEA.

No time to waste. The ice comet cometh.

Now, hold this
until we cometh back, Chief.

[gasps]

Go, go Gadget, take me to the place
that has all those things I said I needed.

[beeping]

- [Chief Quimby screams]
- [thuds]

[Inspector Gadget screaming] Wowzers!

[grunts]

[grunts, exclaims]

We'd better find that gear fast.

Who knows how long we have
before Old Salty hits?

Come on, Brain, help me look.
Is it under this? No.

- [screams]
- Under here?

Negatory. Here?

Nope!

[sighs]

Hmm, it seems like I'll have to take
the finding of our gear up a notch.

Go, go Gadget, take things up a notch.

- [grunts]
- [clangs]

[sighs, exclaims]

[clangs]

[sighs]

[Dr. Mathperson]
With these new solo rockets,

we've finally made space travel
as lonely as space itself.

What I wouldn't give to ride one.

[Penny] Rockets!
[chuckles]

[clears throat]

- But I'm here to stand guard against MAD.
- Oh, don't worry.

The only person with access to them is me.

- And my new best friend, the janitor.
- [Talon whistling]

Mr. Handsomeface McPerfecthair.

Hate to break it to you,
but your janitor is a MAD agent.

[gasps] Mr. Handsomeface McPerfecthair,
is this true?

No, I'm totally a janitor.
Just watch me take out the garbage.

- [Talon grunts]
- [Penny groans]

[grunts]

Why did you lie to me
Mr. Handsomeface McPerfecthair?

- [tire revving up]
- After all we shared!

Why?

Dr. Mathperson,
are any of these spacesuits in my size?

Who cares?
Mr. Handsomeface was my everything.

[sobbing]

Okay... This one looks fine. Bye.

[Penny] Woo-hoo!

- [ground grumbling]
- Wowzers! An expl*sive rumbling?

That can mean only one thing.
Old Salty's hit.

Brain, you're finally awake.

The bad news is Old Salty
destroyed the earth.

The good news is we're the last
two living beings on the planet.

[exclaims]

[whimpers]

Ah, ah, ah, Brain.

- No digging.
- [thuds]

That's all that stands between us
and the remains of the outside world.

Go, go Gadget, dog kennel!

- [yowls]
- Oh, don't be such a worrywart, Brain.

I have a plan.

We're going to repopulate the earth.

- Together!
- Huh?

By using all the junk in this room
to make a time machine

to go back in time and stop the comet.

- [sighs]
- It shouldn't be too hard.

[clanging]

- [cat shrieking]
- ♪ Trapped in a room with my dog ♪

♪ While trying to build a time machine ♪

♪ La te dah doo dah day ♪

[sighs]

[muffled voice] Uncle Claw.
Wishes do come true.

This rocket is fly!

[Dr. Claw] Stop wasting wishes, Talon.

There's only one wish
that's going to be granted

and that's total global destruction.

Oh, and if you don't make it back
from Old Salty,

there's something
I've always wanted to tell you.

Oh?

You're the worst. Claw out!

- [thuds]
- [shrieks]

[laughs]
Houston. We have a nerd!

[muffled voice] Hey,
you'll always be a space-cadet, Talon,

even after I bring you down to earth,
the fast way.

Oh, yeah? Comet get me! Ha!

[chuckles] Huh?

Hunk of space junk,

get ready to meet another hunk
of hunktastic hunkarificness.

[engine idling]

[laughs]

Now, this is power steering.

Oh, Penny, don't try to be a hero.

[g*nf*re]

[Penny shrieks]

- [expl*si*n]
- [Penny] Oh, boy.

Nice work, Talon. Now we're stranded.
On a comet. Just the two of us.

Maybe forever!

But I guess it's better than the world
being blown to smithereens.

- [screams]
- Gravity's a harsh mistress, Pen.

- [Talon] See you around!
- [Penny] Yes, you will!

[Talon groaning]

[both grunting]

[Talon] I am not spending
the rest of my life

stuck on a comet with you.

- [thuds]
- [man screaming]

- [grunts]
- [gasps]

[Penny] Why did you do that?

You just doomed the Earth. And us!

Nah-uh, I'll just jump off the comet
right before it hits the ground and...

Oh, wait. [screaming]

[whistling]

[Penny]
Brain, Old Salty's headed for the Earth.

Goodbye, old friend.

I can't believe we're not going to see
the finale of Uptown Tabby together.

[whimpers]

[sobs] In the words of the Earl
of Puddle-boots-Upon-Cheeseburg...

[sobs]

[both] Meow!

[barking]

We can't save Penny from a comet

by watching old videos
of Penny on a comet, Brain.

We need to finish our time machine.
Go, go, Gadget, finishing touches.

Huh?

Now, be a good Brain
and maybe after we save the world,

we'll go back in time to visit the time
when dogs were actually important.

[whining]

Go, go, Gadget, time machine starter.

- [clicks]
- Wowzers!

I'm too young to be destroyed.

For once, I agree with you.
This really is the end of the world.

[both screaming]

Hold me.

[romantic harp music]

[Inspector Gadget whistling]

[gasps] The machine must be working.
Look how many time zones we're crossing.

[Brain whimpering]

- [barking]
- [whistles]

[all screaming]

- [screaming]
- [Inspector Gadget] Wowzers!

- [shrieks]
- Congratulations, Gadget.

- You saved... [groans]
- [Talon grunts]

There's no time for kudos, Chief.

I've come from the future
to stop the comet.

Go, go, Gadget, old salty stopper.

- Uh...
- [Penny chuckles]

Whoa. [screams]

[barking]

Oh, I'm glad to see you too, Brain.

I thought I was gonna be stuck with a jerk

in a tiny confined space
for the rest of my life.

- Glad that didn't happen.
- [barks, yowls]

We did it, Brain.

And a good inspector
always keeps his promises.

To the past, where dogs were important.

- Go, go, Gadget, time travel.
- [Brain screams]

- [Talon screaming]
- [thuds]

- [shrieks]
- Ouch! [groans]

You failed again, Talon.
Wishes are baloney.

Wait. MADcat, are you eating
sardines and viti-mins?

I mean vitamins!

[yowls]

[Dr. Claw] I feel like I don't even know
who you are.

- [yowls]
- Who are you?

[Dr. Claw] Who are you?!

- [lazergun f*ring]
- [bird whistling]

[evil laugh]

[grunts]

Time to clip those wings.

- [bird whistles]
- [zaps]

[grunts]

And that's how you hit
two birds with one... laser, I guess?

Booya!

[groans]

Wowzers, Brain,
who knew the Mariana Trench

would look so much like Metro City?

The ocean really is full of wonders.

- [groans]
- See that, Brain?

I just went ten rounds with MAD's
most dangerous agent

and came out without a scratch.

It's official, nothing can harm me.
I'm invincible.

High five! Ow!

[groans]

Penny, this x-ray shows your shoulder
has grown a broken leg.

- That can't be right.
- Exactly, because I'm invincible.

- [cracks]
- Ow!

Actually,
it seems you're quite "vincible."

Maybe even "extra-vincible."

The doctor and that x-ray
are overreacting. [chuckles]

I'm fine. See?

- [cracks]
- Ow!

Let the doctors do their job, Penny.
They're very good here.

They're always sending flowers
to thank me

- for all the people I send over.
- Oh?

Speaking of which, looks like
it's time to take your medicine.

- And it's a bitter pill to swallow.
- [Penny] Chief Quimby?

Yeesh, you look like my arm feels.

And by that, I mean great!

- [cracks]
- Ow!

Gadget, you've got a mission.

We have reason to believe

MAD is conducting maniacal
medical experiments in this very hospital

Who knows what Dr. Claw's diseased brain
has come up with...

Your mission:

remedy MAD's medical malfeasance
before it goes viral.

This message will self-destruct.

MAD? Here? Awesome!

What? Now I can kick butt
without leaving the hospital.

Nah-uh.

Sorry, Penny.

You're staying here
while I write Dr. Claw a prescription.

- For justice!
- [whines]

Oops. Almost forgot
your medicine ball, Chief.

Here you go!

[gasps]

Nurse! [groans]

Ooh, ooh!

My leg is as good as new.
Thank you, Dr. Gorgeousman.

How about you thank me by using
that thing to march on out of here.

Seriously. b*at it.

Uncle Claw,
I am so sick of playing doctor.

If these bandages
are supposed to control people,

when do I get the joystick
to control them?

My bandages don't need joysticks.

The semi-intelligent bio-circuitry inside
hijacks the patient's limb.

and makes the appendage
do only what's best for MAD.

Isn't that right, MADcat's tail? [laughs]

What's best for MAD?
What about what's best for me?

[groans]
All right, who's the next sicko?

Penny? [laughs]
No way!

This is one examination
she's totally gonna fail. [laughs]

[elevator dings]

Huh? Only MAD would take
a biological experiment

and make it bio-illogical.

And by that logic, their experiment
could be anywhere in the hospital.

Even inside that guy!

Huh?

Go, go, Gadget, examination kit.

[screams]

Someone is running a fever.
And running away.

[screams]

Oh, sorry. It's like my leg's
got a mind of its own.

- [yowls]
- [man] Help!

- [groans]
- [grunts]

It seems the MAD medical experiment
is none other than a limb controller.

- [gasps] And Brain's legs are infected.
- Huh?

Don't worry, sir,
I'll quarantine that canine.

Go, go, Gadget, hermetic dog seal.

[whimpers]

Come back here, Brain, I'll be gentle.

- [man screams]
- I promise.

This is the worst.
I should be out putting the hurt on MAD.

Hello. Penny, is it? [chuckles]

Like the worthless coin?

Seems like you've got a lame arm
and a really lame first name. [laughs]

Don't worry,
I'll fix you up real good. [scoffs]

The arm, I mean.
I can't do anything about the name.

- [chuckles]
- Hey! Ow! That feels...

...amazing? Thanks.

My pleasure.
Enjoy it while you can. [laughs]

No. I mean, I'm being paged.
Emergency nose hair extraction. Gotta go.

Uncle Gadget was right,
the doctors here do great work.

Huh?

[sighs]

Mustn't. Unleash. Uncommon cold.

[gasps]

[barking]

Wowzers, I would've expected
a MAD-controlled Brain

to be better at hiding.

- [sighs]
- Go, go, Gadget, dog kennel.

Sorry, for interrupting you, my good man.
As you were.

[groans] Oh, no!

Huh? [sneezes]

Brain?

Brain?

- Huh. Weird.
- [man groaning]

Come on. Can't you just send down
some henchmen to finish the job?

No, you nincompoop!

Keep bandaging till your limbs break.
Otherwise, I'll only have a MAD battalion.

And that has none
of the delightful wordplay of "arm" -y.

None!

But I've already bandaged HQ's top agent.
What more do you need?

- [gasps] You finally got Gadget?
- What? No.

I'm talking about his niece. Penny.

Gadget doesn't have a niece, you nitwit.
But if he did, I bet she'd do her job.

Now, get back to yours.

[groans]
I'm starting to lose my patience.

[Penny] Just now?

I figured a doctor with your brains

would've lost all their patients
in med school.

Bam! Someone call a real doctor
'cause that burn was sick.

Also, did I hear something
about "HQ's top agent?" 'Cause...

I think you need to see a doctor
to get your ears checked, Pen.

But don't worry, it won't hurt a bit...

[beeping]

[groans]

It'll hurt a lot.

[yelps]

I know MAD's controlling your legs, Brain,

- but you have to fight it.
- Huh?

- Whoa!
- [man grunts]

[grunting]

- [barking]
- Oh, no!

- They're controlling your arms now, too.
- [yelps]

And your mouth.
Is there no end to MAD's evil?

[whimpers]

[laughs]

What?

Huh? [laughs]

- [gasps] But this is my good hand.
- Not anymore. Ha!

Ow! I'm gonna grab whatever it is
you're using as a controller,

and ram it somewhere
the surgeon will find hilarious.

- [laughs]
- [shrieks]

I think my hand just wedgied me.
[groans] Yep.

- [beeping]
- [panicked barking]

You're only making this harder
on yourself, Brain.

- [gasps]
- Whoa!

- [grunts]
- Whoa! Hey, now...

[screams]

MAD's making you violent, too.

Curse you, Dr. Claw!

Wowzers. You people need to get back.
I've got a MAD dog here.

Go, go, Gadget, people mover.

[whirling]

[all groaning]

How could Brain pummel
all these poor defenseless people?

He's more dangerous than I thought.

[wheels screeching]

Think you can escape?

Go, go, Gadget, hot pursuit.

- [wails]
- Wowzers!

- [laughs]
- [glass shattering]

[grunts]
This is almost more than I can...

- [Talon laughing]
- [Penny groans]

...handle.

- Yeah, it's "arm" -ageddon. Ha!
- [grunting]

You know,
I was about to finish my mission,

but who needs to build a MAD army

when I can watch the bandage
destroy Penny instead? [chuckles]

Mm. [chuckles]

Yeah. So much better
than doing Uncle Claw's dirty work.

I don't know [grunts]
what he's gloating about.

He'd have the whole mission sewn up
if he just did his job and...

Wait.

You think Talon's smug, lazy,
and totally bad for MAD too?

So, how about we call an armistice?

What's the hold up, Limb-burger? [laughs]
Use some elbow grease.

The only grease here is the stain
you're gonna leave on the floor.

I'm armed and dangerous again.

[screams]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!

- [grunts]
- [screams]

[grunts]
You may have the upper-hand, Pen,

but you're about to be "defeeted!"
[laughs]

I think you already grasp
where this is... [screams]

[Inspector Gadget] Stop, Brain!

MAD may control your limbs

but I know justice still controls
your heart and mind.

[grunts]

Go, go, Gadget, dog catcher.

I'm free...!
To put Talon in a world of pain.

Sorry, Pen, but I'm strictly hands off.

See you!

[whimpers]

Congratulations, Gadget.

You gave MAD a taste
of their own medicine.

Sorry, Chief, but it's not over yet.
I still have to cure Brain.

Go, go, Gadget, anti-mad dog cone.

[shrieks]

[grunts]

You failed me again, Talon.

But I'm not going to punish you this time.
You're going to punish yourself.

No, no, no! No! No! Ow! Why? [grunts]

Next time, Gadget! Next...

Stop hitting yourself, Talon.

Stop hitting yourself. [laughs]

- [screams]
- [Dr. Claw] Stop hitting yourself.

Stop hitting yourself.

- Stop hitting yourself. [laughing]
- [Talon screaming]