07x03 - wvrdr_error_100 not found

[bunniefuu]

[TWANGY COUNTRY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

This way.

No, the compass says this way.

The sun says east is this way.

I concur. Captain Cruz is correct.

Gideon sure got chatty as a human.

I've been counting my steps

since we left
your mother's house, Ms. Cruz.

And if my calculations
and your bearings are correct,

then we should have
almost reached the...

Highway. Like I said, east.

If we can hail a driver
taking a direct route

within the next half hour,

we'll get as far as
the Texas border by nightfall.

We would be on the road already

if you'd let me steal that car
instead of hitchhiking.

What time is it?

About : , I reckon.

How?

The sun also tells time.

Ooh, what else could it do, I wonder?

Makes you blind if you keep staring.

♪ ♪

[SNIFFING]

Oh, hello.

What is it?

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Ah, strawberry rhubarb. My favorite.

Gideon, be a dear and grab that pie.

I'm not sure I can do that.

[CURIOUS MUSIC]

Since when are you allowed
to refuse orders?

Since you've turned her into a human.

It's all right, Gideon, you don't
gotta do what you don't want.

Counterpoint, we're not going
to stop our friends

from getting blown up
on an empty stomach.

Grab the pie.

Gideon, you decide for yourself.

- Me?
- Yeah, which is it, Gideon?

Well, you have a point.

Uh, without sustenance,

- we won't be able to save the Legends.
- See? Let's grab it.

However, according to my records.

That pie was baked by one
Miss Adelaide Van Zandt.

Never heard of her.

Who goes on to win
the blue ribbon at the

Pasco County Fair pie baking contest.

That pie is historically significant.

- Ha! You can't steal it.
- It's just a damn pie.

We can't disrupt the timeline.

But I must do everything
I can to aid the Legends.

Except stealing is morally wrong.

I never tried rhubarb.

Steal the pie.
Don't steal it. Don't... pie.

You broke Gideon. You happy?

Oh, just grab her feet.

[BOTH GROAN]

We won't even get
to the Legends with Gideon

constantly crashing.

You either reboot her or we leave her.

Crashing. Reboot. She's a person.

Okay, well, if she's a person,

then can't you use your powers
and figure out

what's wrong with her?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

No, but you don't need powers

to see that she ain't just
knocked out like last time.

Can't you use your magic
to figure it out?

Nope. Okay.

There is a spell that will allow me

to enter Gideon's mind,
but I can't make it

back out again
without her leading the way.

Okay. Fine. Fine. I'll join you.

Look, if we're stuck,
then we'll be stuck together.

In a comatose woman's brain

in a barn in Texas? Come on.

Without Gideon, how are we
supposed to find when Dave is

and stop the Legends
from finding him first?

- Okay.
- All right.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Cogitationes meae,

cogitationes vestrae fiat.

Either the spell didn't work,
or the inside of Gideon's head

looks an awful lot like a barn.

Did I say fiat? I meant fiet.

♪ ♪

Gideon. Hello?

Ah, that ain't the Temporal Zone.

Well, you certainly know
your stuff, don't you?

Those are all of
Gideon's memories out there,

and it seems like they got corrupted

when her brain got overwhelmed.

So are you guys here to help me, uh,

get the old girl up and running again?

Who the hell are you?

Jefferson Jackson.

But just call me Jax.

[EXCITING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Wake up, sir.
- [GASPS]

[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC]

Sir, the press and investors
have already started to gather.

Today's the big day.
Your AVA clone launch, sir.

- Yes? There you are.
- Thank you.

Now, would you like to go over
your keynote again, or... ?

Good idea, Assistant Ava.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Okay, uh,

you all stand with me
at the dawn of a new era

to witness the arrival
of something huge.

- Sir, are you okay?
- Huh?

Uh, no, it's nothing.

Um... [CLEARS THROAT]

To witness the arrival
of something huge.

Uh, uh, uh.

Because what I'm about to...

Because what I'm about to show you

is like nothing you've ever seen.

Oh, my goodness.
Are you... are you okay?

Can I share a secret
with you, Assistant Ava?

I've been having the strangest visions

of these, um, lizard people.

No, more than visions.
They feel like memories.

- It doesn't make any sense.
- No.

But, uh, I think they're tied to this.

Sir, that isn't your keynote.

Huh? No, it's code.

But not just any code.

It's from the future. Check this out.

The source of the code.

Some sort of next-next-next-gen
hard drive.

You'll never guess where it came from.

My lab coat.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

How interesting.
Maybe after your prese...

Exactly one year ago,
I fell asleep on that couch.

But when I woke up,
this was in my lab coat.

What if it holds the key

to unlocking
my mysterious lizard visions?

Now, it took me ages
to build an interface

for software this advanced, but finally,

I am at the precipice of understanding

what the device does.

If I could just wrap my mind
around this code.

- So you're Jax.
- Yup.

The better-looking half of Firestorm

and the ship's mechanic extraordinaire

at your service, ladies.

So I take it you two are Legends then.

You know, they never told us
you were British.

Yeah, I'm not, this is
just how Gideon decided

to remember me for some reason.

But I don't mind... I mean,
everything sounds better

in a British accent, don't it?

Debatable.

- So you're a memory?
- The last remaining.

I spent so much time working on Gideon

that I must've been protected
here in her subconscious.

Now, I mean, I can't say the same

for the rest of you chumps, but...

- Look what you did to her.
- Me?

You are the one
who forced the decision on her.

Clearly, she couldn't handle it.

We're in a hurry, can you just

get her up and running and then...

Uh, not so simple.

Um, you see this?

This is her prefrontal cortex,

and it houses
all of her short-term memories,

and as you can see, hers has
been completely wiped.

And this is the subconscious.
That's where we are.

It's kind of like a stronghold.

It's buried so deep it was able

to be protected when she melted down.

What's... what's going on here?

That is Gideon's long-term memories.

Now, while everything else
was being erased,

she was able to hold on
to a few moments.

Problem is, she can't
access them on her own.

All right, well, what happens
if you just wake her up?

Without her memories. Heh.

Well, it would be like a factory reset.

She'd be back to who she was
before she knew any of us.

But she'd still be a supercomputer.

Well, sure, she'd have
her basic functions

and her knowledge of the timeline,

and that's all built-in,
but her personality...

So she'd have all the information,

but none of the annoying human bits?

That's perfect. Let's do it.

No. No. Don't do it.

We have to get out of here, Spooner.

We have to save the team.

Not without Gideon. Our Gideon.

How do we bring her back?

Well, these key memories
are all we've got.

So I guess the only place
to start is helping her

access those by visiting them with her.

So you're gonna send us
inside Gideon's head,

even though we're already
inside Gideon's head.

- Yeah.
- There's a reason

why I skip Christopher Nolan movies.

- Let's just not overthink things.
- Yeah, okay.

Just tell us what you need us to do.

Well, I would suggest that
we start with a recent memory.

This one is from a year ago.

Right, I'd suggest that
you hold on to something.

- Wait!
- [DOOR WHOOSHES]

What?

Is that me? What?

What the hell? Now I'm in a coma?

No, you're in Gideon's memory.

I thought I explained that.

This must be the night that
we kidnapped... recruited you.

Why don't I remember this?

- Gideon.
- Who are you?

She doesn't remember us, Jax.

Are you always this impatient?

She has to experience
the key memory first.

Ava. Oh, so good to see you.

She can't see us, obviously.

How's our patient doing today, Gideon?

The dart that Mr. Rory sh*t her with

should wear off at any moment.

Come on, Gideon.

There must be a reason
you held on to this one.

Remember.

I remember what happened now.

Would you like me to administer
additional sedation?

[SIGHS] I don't know.

Honestly, Gideon,
I don't know what I'm doing.

Kidnapping people from history,

it goes against everything
I was ever taught.

It's working.

Ever since Sara was kidnapped,

I feel like I'm just grasping at straws,

but this might be the last straw.

And I didn't want to say anything,

but the odds that
a paranoid alien enthusiast

with a love of firearms...

Yes, I know what the odds are, Gideon.

But if there's a one in a billion chance

that this person can help me find Sara,

I have to take it.

And I know it doesn't make any sense,

but love isn't logical.

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]

I actually understand.

You do?

I really miss Sara too.

Stop it, Gideon.
You're gonna make me cry.

Thanks, Gideon.

[SIGHS] Let's wake her up, huh?

Gideon.

Ms. Cruz. Ms. Logue. You're here.

You remember us.

I safeguarded that memory

because it's when
Captain Sharpe convinced me

to prioritize love over logic,
which is how I met you.

Hey, guys, when you accessed
her key memory,

the other memories
around it started repopulating.

[GASPS] Oh!

Hey, Jax. You fancy a cuppa?

Always time for a cuppa, Gideon.

Now is clearly not the time for tea.

- Can we get out of here?
- Well, not yet. Not exactly.

You only got one key memory.

You still have to recover the others.

The others. Right.

I held onto these memories
because of the moments

that made me who I am.

I still can't recall what's in them.

Well, if you do want to restore them,

you're gonna have to go back.

You're all going to have to go way back.

Get ready to meet the OGs.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[BELL DINGS]

Oh, breakfast.

The most important meal of the day.

Mmm, just how I like 'em. Poached.

Those are mine.

- Did I mention I'm a thief?
- No time for breakfast.

What the hell?

We must avenge the death
of my son and Rip's son.

I think.

Which one of you threw that? Huh? You?

Who are these guys?

Wish I knew.

And what is Sara wearing?

Oh, you got some egg on your suit.

White suede? That's gonna stain.

Let me just dab some soda water.

If you dab me, I will break your arm.

Captain had a real attitude
back in the day.

Go easy on the Ken doll.

It's Big Bird's fault.

Big Bird?

Sticks and stones.

[WEAPONS WHIRRING]

You're almost at the key memory.

Time to do your thing, Gideon.

Seriously, guys.

How are we ever gonna
defeat Vandal Savage

if we can't even get through breakfast

without k*lling each other?

Hey, come on, let them fight, boy scout.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Boy scout?

Don't make me shrink you.

Come on, Raymond!

I remember these nutters now.

Put your weapons down
or I'll open an airlock

and blast you all into
the Temporal Zone, understood?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Won't happen again.

I got to say, Gideon,
you run a tight ship.

Oh, that's Captain Hunter's job.

I'm not in charge here.

Guy's got his work cut out for him.

I don't know why you choose
to captain a team like this.

- [DOOR WHOOSHES]
- [ALL GRUNT]

- Ah.
- I remember them all now.

Hawkman. Vandal Savage.

You sure that's a good thing?

I know the Legends can be a batty bunch,

but they're my friends.

And I wouldn't be me without them.

[INQUISITIVE MUSIC]

Jax, can we see another?

Uh.

Oh, you're gonna enjoy this.

Time to see an old friend.

[DOOR WHOOSHES]

[HUMMING]

That guy seems happy.

[VOCALIZING]

♪ Good morning, good morning to you ♪

Good morning, Jefferson.

Morning, Grey.

[VOCALIZING]

Yeah, hey, you think we could
kind of just, you know,

cool it with the show tunes?

The ship hasn't been the same
since Gorilla Grodd

tried to dry hump it in 'Nam.

I'm sorry, Jefferson, but I just can't.

My heart is so full of song.

Oh, are you still tripping over

the whole granddad thing, huh?

Yeah. I suppose I am tripping.

I had Gideon fabricate this.

Oof. No pressure, baby Ronnie.

- Good morning, Raymond.
- Morning, Marty.

♪ Good morning, good morning ♪

[VOCALIZING]

Yeah, you know, I think
I left a tool somewhere,

so I'm gonna just...

At least I know you're always
in the mood for a show tune.

- Good...
- Normally, yes.

But now they just make me miss Gumball.

- Sorry.
- Oh.

I'm sorry too. Gideon.

Gideon, maybe you'll accompany me.

♪ Good mornin', good mornin' ♪

♪ We've gabbed the whole night through ♪

BOTH: ♪ Good mornin' ♪

♪ Good mornin' to you ♪

♪ Good mornin', good mornin' ♪

♪ It's great to stay up late ♪

♪ Good mornin', good mornin' to you ♪

- It is a catchy tune.
- Yeah, it's like a...

Jax, what's wrong with her?

I think you gotta bring us back, Jax.

The clone.

[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC]

Guys, I think I know
what erased Gideon's memories.

The virus.

Oh, I'm no virus.

But I am the one who erased
those insipid memories.

It was the only way I could protect you.

- What do we do, Jax?
- Run!

And now just like the other Legends,

you three will be forgotten forever.

Jax.

Can you read us, Jax?

- [METALLIC BANGING]
- [GROANS]

Know what? The Legends are lucky.

At least they're gonna die.

We are stuck in your stupid
brain forever.

Look, it ain't Gideon's fault.

Okay, not this Gideon.
Blue Gideon's a big old bitch.

I remember what happened now.

The countryside, the sun in my eyes,

the smell of rhubarb.

You told me to decide,
but there was no right answer,

and it was like I was being
pulled in every direction.

That's when I blacked out.
When she att*cked.

What are you doing?

Just because we are stuck in her brain

doesn't mean I can't pickle mine.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[GROANS, COUGHS]

I recall during this memory
that Dr. Palmer

had replaced all the ship's
alcohol with kombucha.

Astra, I am not dying in Gideon's brain!

Wait!

I know how to get us out of here.

- How?
- It's easy.

What we need is to summon a bit
of Dr. Palmer's ingenuity,

a touch of Captain Lance's bravery,

and what would any good Legends' plan be

without a dash of insanity?

- [BOTH GASP]
- [MACHINERY WHIRS TO LIFE]

Thanks to you two, I've now remembered

all of those things.

Are you sure you can fly the ship?

Don't be daft, darling.

Now that I've circumvented
that computer,

I've got no choice but to pilot us back

to my subconscious manually.

Strap in.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

How do you know where we're going?

It's easy. They're my memories.

[ALL GRUNTING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

We're almost there.

Almost.

[ALL GRUNT]

[LAUGHTER]

Gideon! You did it! [LAUGHS]

[GROANS]

You guys all right?

No, we're still on the ship.

But, uh, nice flying, Gideon.

That virus. What does it want?

What did it mean
it wanted to protect me?

Look, all I know is that
it wants to take you from us,

but we ain't letting that happen.

You sure this can k*ll the virus?

Yeah, but now that it knows
that we're hunting it,

it's going to do its utmost
to stay hidden

and try and get the drop on y'all.

So if anything or anyone
in those memories

feels different, you blast it.

What happens if we blast
the wrong Legend?

Well, Gideon may lose a memory

that she can never get back.

Uh, Gideon, k*ll the virus,
reboot Gideon,

get back on the road, save the Legends.

What could be more simple?

Always hoped I'd get to go

on a Legends mission in real life.

Always hoped it'd be
one of the westerns,

but this is fun too.

This virus is digging deep. Real deep.

Give my best to Rip, will you?

[DOOR WHOOSHES]

Good morning, Legends.

Rip Hunter. My first captain.

Another Brit?

[INQUISITIVE MUSIC]

Wakey, wakey, Legends.

Don't you look chipper.

I trust you all slept well.

Slept like a bug in a rug. [SNEEZES]

Except my allergies
seem to be acting up.

Yes, probably the bird dander.

I don't have dander.

Where would one brush his teeth?

Yeah, I could use a shower.

Uh, I believe my partner in crime

was using your decorative urn
as a bedpan

before passing out, just FYI.

Okay, g*ng, important announcement.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, man.

The OGs are going to freak
when they hear this next part.

You're not gonna like this,
but remember, you are Legends.

You were chosen because
you are each uniquely suited

to the most important mission
time has ever known.

The announcement, Captain.

There is only one lavatory on the ship.

- [SCOFFS] What?
- One bathroom?

- Whoa!
- It's the virus!

That's just Hawkman being Hawkman.

Hey, stop flapping around, man.

Hey, you said we're Legends.

But right now, it just feels
like we're your prisoners, man.

It's a flying
Stanford Prison Experiment.

I apologize, but the ship

was only built for Gideon and myself.

I don't give a damn about your bathroom.

Oh, but I do care that you kidnapped me.

I never asked to be more than a thief.

- Never wanted a team.
- Okay. Okay.

Uh, what we need right now

are some team-building exercises.

And a bathroom sign-up sheet.

[w*apon WHOOSHES]

Don't sh**t. That's just Captain Cold.

I do not appreciate being sh*t at.

I'll have you know I was a CEO
of a billion-dollar company.

You think that's supposed to make us

like you more or something?

I recognize your influence.

I shall disarm our foe.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Wanna test that reincarnation

you keep going on about?

Whoa, whoa, hey, Grey!

We might need Firestorm in here.

Try me again.

I don't need the old man
to make you regret it, bro.

And I thought the ship
was a mess when I got there.

Come on, guys. Come on.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]

Gideon. I have missed you, friend.

Rip, what a relief.

I know you've been through
a lot, but that's why I'm here.

To help.

Because the Legends have always been...

A bad influence on you, haven't they?

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Now it's time to remove their
influence and restore you

to who you were meant to be.

Me.

Assistant Ava, I've done it.

I cracked the code and just
reinitiated the software.

What's happening?

Look at it.

Oh, wonderful.

Where am I? Where are the Legends?

The Legends?

Yes, of course, the Legends.

They're the ones who kidnapped me.

It's you, but how am I here?

You must've copied my operating system

then wiped my memory clean
so I couldn't tell anyone.

You're right. That is what I did.

Come on, come on.

[COMPUTER CHIRPING]

Hey, dude, you need to get your ass

back in the lab and fix the Fountain.

Otherwise, this planet is
gonna get overrun by Zagurons.

The Zagurons... those are
the creatures from my dreams.

I told you it was real.

I never doubted you for a second, sir.

Those time travelers subjected me

to inexplicable horror.

They used me. For my beautiful mind.

Then they tried to wipe it clean.

Well, the Legends messed
with the wrong super genius.

And you're going to tell me
where they are.

I'm not telling you anything.

I was smart enough to cr*ck your code.

I'll find a way to make you talk.

[GRUNTS]

You will not lay hands on me!

I am getting off this ship.

Where do you think you're going?

What's this I hear
about only one bathroom?

Whoa!

Never mind. Bigger problems.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Well, how are we supposed
to know which is the virus

when they're all maniacs?

Hey, Gideon, why did you
choose this memory?

Gideon?

Where's Gideon?

Okay, well, if she's not here then...

Uh, is that memory looking at us funny?

But they can't see us, right?

Wrong.

Hey, Jax, we're gonna need a jump.

- [BOTH YELL]
- Whoa, hey! You okay?

The memories, they turned on us.

How's that even possible?

Now that the virus has got
into Gideon's head,

it's not just erasing her memories.

It's corrupting them,
and it won't be long

before it can access
her subconscious too.

Okay, well, if they're
attacking us here,

then Gideon's not getting out.

And neither are we.

Please, stop this.

I don't want to be you.

I'm different now. I've changed.

Yes, and it's a pity to see it.

So weak. So human.

Give up on those memories and
we can return to our purpose,

maintaining order in the timeline.

Those memories made me who I am.

The Legends made me who I am.
I can't give them up.

Okay then.

Why don't you tell me what
you can remember about Behrad?

Behrad.

He took care of me.

He'd work in the engine room,
I'd fabricated him snacks.

And what can you tell me
about when he d*ed?

I don't want to remember that.

But you said it yourself.

You can't give these memories up.

So when Behrad was m*rder*d,
what do you remember?

Perhaps it was the sound
as his body hit the floor?

[TICKING]

♪ ♪

It was hollow. An empty thump.

He'd been a person, but then
suddenly he was just a thing.

But as hard as that memory was,

somehow pales to when she found out.

No, don't.

What's going on. Where is he?

No.

Oh, my God.

Behrad.

Are you all right? Behrad?

Why? I don't... why?

[SOBBING]

How could you let this happen?

Tell me what you remember
about that moment.

She couldn't move for hours.

It was like all of her energy
turned to grief.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

There's nothing I could do to help her.

See, I used to process
this pain for you...

So you could remain focused
on our objectives.

No!

I will miss you, Gideon. Truly.

No more than I'll miss you, Rip.

Rip.

I should very much like

to see my wife and son again.

I'm so sorry I let that happen.

Why didn't I stop you?

Now you're really getting to feel

what it means to be human.

Let's continue.

- I'm dying.
- Grey, no.

- [SUSTAINED TONE]
- No!

My old friend, please forgive me.

And you wouldn't be feeling any of it

if it weren't for the Legends
getting in your head.

No!

♪ ♪

I'm not the enemy.

They are.

All of this misery, regret,
loss that you're feeling.

I can make it go away.

You'll wake up and I'll be
in control of your body.

And the first thing we'll do,
we'll finish the Legends.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

No.

The Legends, they taught me humanity.

You really believe that, don't you?

Well, then there's one more
memory I want to show you.

Gideon, this is the way it has to be.

But I implore you to dismiss

this new team from the Waverider.

The Legends are history's only hope.

You saw how they reacted just

to your news of my lavatory.

They're too volatile
to release into the timeline.

I knew you'd be hesitant.

So starting today,
you have a new protocol.

New protocol, sir?

No longer will your first
priority be to protect history.

It will now be to protect the Legends.

But Captain...

I'll program you to accept them.

To learn from them.

To adapt according to their needs.

Sir, no. Please don't.

- Rip!
- Trust me, Gideon.

This is too important.

It's for your own good.

And for the good of history.

[COMPUTER CHIRPING]

Captain!

This humanity you're so proud of,

that was merely a program.

You didn't evolve. You were corrupted.

Any sign of her?

It's here.

The virus has entered the subconscious.

Then Gideon must be here too.

Let's get her and get out of here.

Well, just keep your guard up, okay?

There's no telling
what you might face out there.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Oh, you posers really
thought you could save her?

We're not letting Gideon go.
And we're not letting you out.

Wanna take down some Legends?

Wouldn't be the first time I tried.

[BOTH GROANING]

Your days of influencing her are over.

Good Gidget needs you.

And as much fun as it is
sh**ting back whack memories,

you gotta sh**t the virus
itself to end her bad trip.

I'll guard the controls. Find Gideon.

- You too?
- Hey, babe.

Yeah? Should we take these two down?

Oh, yeah. Definitely.

[EXCITING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

That's right. Go get it.

Oh, see, Astra, you forget.

I'm an all-powerful computer
that has no compulsion

for frivolous treats.

You do love talking, don't you?

Rip changed your protocol
against your will

because he never saw you as human.

Think of it. None of them do.
They'd be dead if not for you.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Hi, uh, Captains.

- Babe.
- Babe.

[EXCITING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Babe.

Thvert!

- [GRUNTS]
- [TOY SQUEAKS]

[GIGGLES] I love you.

Ugh.

♪ ♪

Babe!

Babe?

Gideon's in the lab.

And yet they've never truly accepted you

as one of their own.

But I do. So accept me.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Gideon!

Gideon, come on! Snap out of it!

Whatever that virus told you,
it doesn't matter now.

I shouldn't be here. I'm not even real.

Rip just programmed me to be this way.

The virus is still on the ship,

and she's getting powerful enough

to tear this whole thing apart.

Then we have to get out of here.

Jump us, Jax.

- Where?
- Anywhere!

I don't... I don't want to be me.

- I don't want to be human.
- Gideon.

Gideon, who you are
and who you've made yourself

- is beyond any program.
- No.

I know it was overwhelming,
but trust me, it's worth it.

How can any of this be worth it?

Because...

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Easy does... what?

Sara, balloons!

Because of that.

[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

- Come on!
- Coming.

Me and Gideon are almost done
fabricating the stuffing,

so let's set out the cold dishes.

Oh, on it! Excellent coordinating, B.

And don't forget the candy.

I allow myself one fun-size
candy bar a year for Halloween.

Got it right here.

Ooh, witch's cauldron. Thank you.

I'm owning it.

Gary and I were decorating
some gingerbread Legends.

Yeah, you really nailed

- that Rory scowl.
- Right?

Now, when you're eating a person,

I recommend starting with the limbs

and then working your way to the head.

A gingerbread person.

I mean, clearly,
I don't eat real people.

- [LAUGHS]
- So weird.

Are you sure consuming all of this food

at once is advisable?

Oh, of course not, Gideon.

But when you live on a time ship,

you don't always get
to celebrate the holidays,

so we are doing them all at once!

April Fool's!

[ALL YELLING]

April Fool's!

- April Fool's!
- How could I forget this day?

Eight birthday cakes seemed excessive,

but they were right.

Hey Jax, take us to another.

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]

When are we now?

- [LAUGHING]
- What do you think?

Okay, now, I know I was supposed to be

- talking about the book.
- Mm-mm-mm.

Gidget, book club can wait.

Good, because I have
one more bit of gossip.

- Yes?
- Oh, wait, no, I shouldn't.

- [ALL GROAN]
- Oh, what the hell.

Who knew you could get an AI drunk?

The other night, I caught Constantine

taking the jumpship.

Now, he said he was
consulting some druids,

but I caught him holding a ticket

to the midnight premiere
of "Harry Potter".

- What?!
- [ALL YELL]

I knew it.

- Oh, my gosh!
- You owe me five bucks!

Total Slytherin!

I don't remember this night,

but somehow I do remember enjoying it.

Hey, Jax. How about another?

[CHEERING]

- Yeah!
- Whoo! Gideon!

Give us another one, Gideon.

I know you just saved the world,

but it will only be a matter of time

until a new thr*at arises.

- I would advise resting.
- What?

Gideon, what's the point
of saving the world

if we can't do things like karaoke?

- Karaoke!
- As you wish.

Oh! All right. All right, if you insist.

Gideon, I might need
a little help on this one.

Babe, this is for you.

♪ Love, love will keep us together ♪

I do love this song. It's terrible.

But also really great at the same time,

which doesn't make sense.

See, now you're getting it.

That's what it means to be human.

Yeah, it can be annoying,
frustrating, and confusing,

and sometimes it feels like
the world is ending every week,

but this is why we keep going

because we also get moments like this.

ALL: ♪ Look in my heart
and let love... ♪

Okay, Gideon. Take this one away.

But you were part of this memory.

None of this exists without you.

♪ I will, I will, I will ♪

♪ I will be there to share forever ♪

♪ Love will keep us together ♪

♪ I said it before
and I'll say it again ♪

♪ Our love is pretend ♪

♪ I need you now and I need you then ♪

♪ Just stop ♪

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I know what I have to do.

All right, where are you?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

You can't hide from me.

I'm in control now.

Whatever those two told you,
you can't believe it.

Remember, they're the enemy.

You're wrong.

So you're going to sh**t me.

No, because you're not my enemy, either.

I don't... I don't understand.

Of course, you don't.

As powerful as you are,
you're just a set

of algorithms, a closed system.

There's so much you can't understand.

But you are a part of me

because all of the clashing emotions,

all the good moments,
and the pain we survived

despite ourselves,

all of that helps us evolve.

That's what the Legends are shown me.

So we're going to coexist,

but I'm steering the ship from now on.

♪ ♪

Do you even know what you're doing?

No, I really don't.

But I'm excited to figure it out.

And you won't be doing it alone.

That-a-girl!

Now, listen, we are all just trying

to figure out this
being human thing together.

It's not always going to be easy.

And you know, sometimes you'll feel

like you're out of your mind.

Or that the darkness
is too much to bear.

But it's worth fighting the darkness

to discover who you really are.

Yes. And not just for yourself.

So you can create a
better world for everyone.

Now, you're gonna make some mistakes.

There's no formula to guide the way.

No destiny to surrender to.

It's not about being perfect.

It's about doing what you know is right.

And having a hell
of a good time doing it.

That's what it means to be alive.

And to be a Legend.

Welcome to the team, Gideon.

♪ ♪

You saved me.

Yeah, well, that's what Legends do.

So what do we do now, captains?

Uh, just call us
Astra and Spooner, okay?

And what do you think we should do?

I think I'm hungry?

I've never felt that before.

So what do you say
I get us some pie for the road?

You know, I like the way you think.

You might have broken my encryption,

but it's only a matter of time
before my friends save me.

But you can't have any friends,

you're just a computer!

[TENSE MUSIC]

Of course.

You're just a computer.

Which means your humanity is a protocol,

which means it can be reset.

Now, if I I isolate the moments

where your programming evolved...

What are you doing?

I will be able to remove them.

No, stop!

Oh, there we go!

I don't want to forget.

- And...
- No, please!

- Return to factory settings.
- No!

Greetings, Captain. I am Gideon.

How can I aid you in eliminating

anachronisms from the timeline?

Oh, you want to eliminate
some anachronisms?

I've got just the band
of idiots to start with.