03x14 - Influence

[bunniefuu]

[thunder rumbling]

[Superman] I'm not seeing or hearing any survivors under the rubble.

And the deceased are all Thanagarian.

No Parademons. [Talak] Parademons?

[scoffs] There's no evidence this was done by any Apokoliptan ka'kash.

[laughing] Yeah, the ring won't translate that last word, but...

I can tell you what it means. I got the gist. Thank you.

Commander Talak, this Nth metal refinery fits the profile of other facilities raided by Parademons on several planets.

Yet the att*ck pattern here is different.

I don't see the usual evidence of Parademon weapons fire.

And the Javelin detected no trace of Boomtube activity in the area.

I assume your scans confirm the Nth metal stockpiles here have--

Been stolen, yes, Lieutenant Thal.

But the theft of a common element is the least of our concerns.

Sir, uh, Nth metal is only common on Thanagar.

And thus Apokolips checks another rare, raw material off its grocery list.

As I said, Captain Hol, there's no evidence this was an Apokoliptan att*ck.

Our scans have only detected Earthling bio-signs.

But fortunately for your friends, not their bio-signs.

You've been scanning us?

[chuckles] Smart. Trust no one.

Certainly not Earthlings.

Sir, we sent you the evidence.

Earth meta-humans are being kidnapped off-planet for use by Apokoliptan forces.

The metas are mind-controlled into violent action. We've seen it.

Then perhaps, we should send a Hawkfleet to quarantine Earth's populace, since the task is clearly too difficult for certain officers and their human sidekicks.

Don't call us sidekicks.

[Wonder Woman] Respectfully, the Justice League has been traveling the galaxy in peaceful cooperation with--

Yes, yes, you've sung this song before, during your first-contact apology tour.

You claimed then that you and Lieutenant Thal were mindcontrolled into violent acts on Rimbor.

Thanagar is still working to repair our reputation from that.

And now that Thanagar itself falls victim to human att*ck, look who shows up to sing a reprise.

Commander-- [Talak] You're done here.

Dismissed.

[blows raspberry]

[chuckles] Who's the ka'kash now? [all] Guy!

Relax. While you were squawkin' with Commander Bird-Brain, I did some scanning of my own.

Boomtubes may have left no trace, but I found an ion trail from the attackers' ship.

They flew away on their own power.

Meaning, they screwed up, and we have a new lead.

You kinda wanna kiss the ring now, don't you?

A little bit kinda wanna kiss the ring?

Come on! Somebody kiss it.

Kiss it! [mimics kissing] [all] Guy!

[theme music playing]

Mmm.

[Violet] I cannot believe this is your first breakfast burrito.

An entire meal wrapped in a warm tortilla, pure enjoyment for mouth and hands.

[Brion chuckles]

My sister and I were raised in a castle where eating with one's hands was not encouraged.

[chuckling] I'm guessing you only ate with those silver spoons you were born with, huh?

Hmm. And your life with your eminent scientist father was one of economic hardship?

Uh, no.

[d*ck] Maybe this would be a good time to get to it.

Listen, you've all reached a crossroads.

Vic, you have your own decisions to make, but Brion, Tara, Violet, Forager, we feel the four of you are ready to work with the Justice League's covert-ops team to help mankind.

But being a hero isn't for everyone.

This is a choice you each have to make for yourself.

And the decision you make now doesn't have to be a permanent one.

[Artemis] Uh, no judgment from us either way.

You've already risked your lives for each other and for the meta-teens we rescued in Bialya. That's enough.

I've made my choice.

And Bialya has proven I made the right one.

To protect the innocent, no matter the danger.

But facing danger isn't a mandatory part of our mission.

Troia of Themyscira and Garth of Atlantis both left the front lines.

Now they fight the good fight inside the system as ambassadors to the United Nations.

And you need to know there is no shame in leaving this life behind.

A few years back, I quit the Team with Wally West, [clears throat]

The first Kid Flash.

We went to college, rented an apartment.

We had a life together.

[d*ck] And then Wally, my best friend, came back to the Life and sacrificed everything, so we could all be here today.

At the ruins of our former headquarters, our former home.

Another sacrifice made for the greater good.

So, the three of us live with the consequences of these sacrifices.

We stand for those who have fallen, and we fight for those who can't.

That's our choice.

But it doesn't have to be yours.

And today's the day we are to make this important life decision?

Yeah.

Today's the day.

[music playing on cell phone]

[Aquaman on video] After extensive investigation, the Justice League discovered that the entertainment device known as Goode VR Goggles is part of a major meta-human trafficking chain.

These devices secretly test users for the meta-gene.

Subliminal messages in the Goggles' content direct victims to discreet locations for abduction, meta-gene activation, and enslavement.

New Meta-humans are then trafficked and traded on the black market by criminal organizations.

To save lives placed in immediate danger by this scheme, the Justice League took swift action to shut down these trafficking centers.

Those rescued will be counseled and rehabilitated here, at the S.T.A.R. Labs Meta-Human Youth Center.

The Justice League now calls upon the governments of Earth to investigate Goode World Studios for their role in this heinous plot against humanity.

[Lex] Yes, the League saved a few kids, which they've since dumped in Taos.

But since these "heroes" failed to coordinate with local authorities, the big players in the meta-trafficking game vanished into the woodwork, further antagonizing national and international governments, with whom the League should be cooperating.

Yes. Cooperation, folks.

That's how a society achieves justice. [cymbals clanging]

The people demand it!

Social media demands it!

Foreign governments demand it while threatening sanctions.

[buzzer sounds]

Even Gotham City Police Commissioner James Gordon, no relation, has shut down the infamous "Bat-Signal."

A clear good riddance to the ex-Leaguer.

With me today is the latest target of the Justice League's att*cks, a close, personal frenemy of this show.

Please welcome Gretchen Goode, the pop culture icon known as Granny Goodness.

Thank you, G. Gordon.

Your flair for drama is always the perfect spoonful of sugar to choke on after the medicine goes down. [laughs]

[laughs] You get me, old girl.

You really do.

What I "get" is the gravity of the League's accusations against my company.

Just as I get my responsibility to own up to our mistakes.

Why, Granny, I expected a denial, a counter-att*ck!

But a mea culpa?

Yes.

I'm afraid one of my closest friends, Jaqqar Marlo, Director of Goode R and D, betrayed my organization, my customers, and my trust.

He perverted our goggles without my knowledge or permission.

Sounds like you have the evidence to bring this scoundrel to justice.

I do, and I would.

But Mister Marlo was found m*rder*d this past August, likely by the same villains with whom he did business.

Then, perhaps justice has been served up, not by the League, but by karma.

No, G. Gordon.

True justice will be served up by your dear old Granny.

All of my faulty devices have been recalled.

I'll soon be offering new and improved technologies for the people's entertainment.

And Goode World Studios will continue funding the Meta-Human Youth Center for families harmed by Marlo's betrayal.

So you can rest assured, Granny will make everything right as rai-- [turns off]

[girl screams]

He took my purse!

[growls]

[girl gasps]

[screams]

[roaring]

[yelping]

[gasps] Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! You're Garfield Logan!

[exclaims excitedly] Thank you!

[camera clicking]

The behavior of our stars reflects on this studio, and you are [sing-song] trending!

Excellent work, Garfield.

Your mother would be so--

Don't even mention my mom!

And cut the Granny gimmick.

I know what you are, Gretchen.

You really have no idea what I am, so mind your manners, child, and your elders.

Bring it.

♪ O', the nebula clouds 'Round Oa ♪

♪ Such glorious, Beautiful gas ♪

♪ And the luminous ring Of Mogo ♪

♪ 'Tis a vision That's just world-class ♪

♪ But when 'ere you cross the galaxy ♪ [Wonder Woman sighs]

♪ The sight none Can truly surpass ♪

♪ Is the sunrise Over the gentle curves ♪

♪ Of Guy Gardner's Shapely a-- ♪ [turns off audio]

Ka'kash.

Two years in space and I have not missed Themyscira more than at this very moment.

Great Scott! Up ahead.

We're coming up on some kind of asteroid base.

One that's easily twice the size of the Watchtower.

[M'gann] It's not every day the Team recruits a new member.

Today I'm happy to welcome four.

Terra, Geo-Force, Halo, and Forager.

Your new teammates, Wonder Girl, Blue Beetle, Kid Flash, Static, and Thirteen, will be glad to have reinforcements.

And, personally, I'm thrilled we have another alien on the Team.

And two more girls.

We're keeping pace.

More girls...

I have given thought to this.

Despite my outward appearance, I do not know that I am a girl or a boy as Earth languages define the words.

Uh, but your soul, it's from a--

A Motherbox.

An approximate English translation of the New Genesian word for what I was.

But what I am now is just me.

Is that okay?

Beyond okay.

Oh, but I'm sorry.

I interrupted your briefing.

[M'gann] It's fine.

I'm truly thrilled you're discovering who you are inside.

Plus, there's more good news.

Superboy and Tigress are rejoining the Team.

Keeping an eye on us?

Spending more time with my fiancée.

[computer] Recognized. Beast Boy, B-One-Nine.

Garfield. You sure you've thought this through?

Yeah. I want back on the Team.

We were just noting the buzz online.

Gorilla heroics got the itch scratchin', huh?

It's more than that.

I put Gretchen Goode on notice.

She might have me locked into an acting contract, but she doesn't control my off-hours.

And I'm here to help take her down.

We don't have any leads on Goode yet, but you're always welcome on the Team, little brother.

Can't send you on every stealth mission, your powers are too recognizable.

But I'll juggle assignments to keep you as busy as you want to be.

Looks like your Team just doubled in size.

Good. We need all the help we can get.

[beeping] Oh, speaking of help.

Troia and Catherine are taking a fight public again.

Despite Lex Luthor's short-sighted views the Justice League must maintain its autonomy.

Decisions by political committee take too long and could cost lives.

Behind us is the former site of the Hall of Justice.

It's been two years since the Hall was destroyed by alien att*ck, and the committee to renovate the site is deadlocked on how to proceed.

Now, imagine this process...

Luthor's process applied to the life-and-death missions of the Justice League.

Really, Lex Luthor, how do you find the time to be a leader of nations and the "super-villain" the League frames you to be?

[Lex chuckles]

It is exhausting, G. Gordon.

Honestly though, I have grown weary of these tit-for-tat public statements.

Certainly the League sees the difference between autonomy and oversight.

We need accountability and transparency.

That's why the U.N. has had a satellite parked near the Watchtower for the last two years.

So, we watch the Watchtower, but who watches the watchmen?

Even your own Lexcorp has oversight, correct?

Of course.

To avoid any conflict of interest with my current duties, I placed Lexcorp in a blind trust.

My sister Lena now runs Lexcorp.

Miss Luthor recently made headlines by pledging Lexcorp funds to the Meta-Human Youth Center.

Are you saying you had nothing to do with Lena's charitable grandstanding?

Why, G. Gordon, I'm not saying anything at all.

[Barda speaking alien language]

[Hawkman in English] The ion trail leads directly to target base.

[Granny Goodness] An ion trail?

But, my dear Barda, that cannot be correct.

Not when we have a clear policy of boomtubing back and forth from all raid sites.

I was laying a trap for these vermin.

The time to hide is over.

Now we can fight--

[groaning]

What has Granny Goodness taught you, child?

[Barda continues groaning]

[gasps]

We serve only Darkseid.

[groaning] And through me, His will be done.

Granny will choose the time for conflict.

[laughing evilly]

And to be clear, that wasn't t*rture, Desaad.

It was discipline.

I love Barda enough to punish her for her own good.

But you'll see t*rture soon enough.

[Wolf howling]

[Brion] The Watchtower is very crash.

Never in a million years did I think I would travel into space.

Victor, maybe next time you can--

No, no, no, thank you.

Uh, despite appearances, I'm not the Watchtower-Super-Hero type.

I'm getting my old body back.

And the only "space" I need is my own room.

If I have to hear your phone chime another text from Violet, I may go all Fatherbox on you guys. [phone chimes]

[Wolf howling]

It is from Violet.

How did you-- Please.

She's always texting you.

[chuckling] Yes.

I suppose she is.

Hmm.

[Violet giggles]

[dishes clattering] [Lian] Not me!

[Artemis] Violet! Lian spilled her juice.

[Lian] Not me! Not me! Coming.

[Artemis] Tara, it's time for Brucely's walk.

Oh, you got him. [chuckles] Thanks.

Full house, huh? Yeah, yeah. Never a dull moment.

But the girls pull their weight, so we make do. Caffeine me.

We'll be right back after I clean up this juice monster.

Not me!

You've built a home full of love, William.

It is nice to see.

Helga? I...

I feel so useless.

Helga-- Hear me out.

You've all done so much for these children, yet I also wish to contribute.

Victor refuses to return to his father or S.T.A.R. Labs.

And I believe I could be of service to him.

But I would need a fully equipped laboratory to provide any assistance at all.

I realize it's a lot to ask.

But how else could I repay the kindness you've shown me?

Big Barda, open fire for Granny.

Hail, Granny Goodness!

Hail, Darkseid!

[grunting] Apokoliptan cannon fire ain't no joke.

You're lucky I'm here to cover your butt. Returning fire.

m*ssile's through their shields.

Hitting target...

Now!

[Barda] Cursed Hawks gave them Nth metal missiles.

The impact triggered a decompression in Section 16.

No, it hid an incursion.

Or failed to.

Barda, summon the Furies.

At last.

Huh, underwhelming security.

Stay whelmed.

We're not out of this yet.

Stay what? Oh, uh, guess I picked that up from-- The children...

I think we found them.

The missing eight from Markovia?

[Wonder Woman] No.

All of them.

The end point of the Light's trafficking of meta-humans to the forces of Apokolips.

[Hawkwoman] That may not be the worst of it.

Look at the size of this thing.

Scans read all of the stolen elements within it.

Can you tell what it's designed-- [Barda] Furies!

att*ck!

Stop! We don't want to hurt you.

Good.

Makes it easier to hurt you!

[grunts] [groaning]

[grunts] Whoa.

Enough, Desaad.

I know our Master's machine isn't ready.

But if the Earth heroes destroy the device, will you explain to Darkseid?

[grunts]

Hmm. I thought not.

[all screaming]

Mmm. Their pain. [Desaad laughs]

So excruciating. So glorious.

So instructive.

[Superman, echoing] Everyone, out!

[screaming continues]

[grunting]

You saved me.

[groans] [Superman panting]

Wonder Woman, Hawkwoman.

Catwalk above... their leader.

Go!

[all gasping]

Showboats.

Always leaving the hard work for ol' Guy...

[Granny Goodness] True justice will be served up by your dear old Granny.

All of my faulty devices have been recalled.

I'll soon be offering new and improved technologies for the people's entertainment.

And Goode World Studios will continue funding the Meta-Human Youth Center for families harmed by Marlo's betrayal.

So, you can rest assured, Granny will make everything right as rain.

[theme music playing] [snoring]

[door opens]

[door closes]

[urinating]

[toilet flushing]