01x07 - The Barter Economy

[bunniefuu]

Oh, my God.

- It's pretty late... it must be...
- Cut the sh*t.

Okay. [nervous chuckle]

I'm here to give you what you want.

[clears throat]

Is this a bad time?

No, it's just, uh...

I didn't expect,

you know, any...

Give me a second, so I can...

What are you doing?

Oh, there's... You know, nothing.

It's, um... on the nose,
is a chick in a towel.

Kind of, the mystery is kind of, um...

kind of, uh, gone...

I'm afraid.

Just give me one second,
if you don't mind.

- I didn't expect...
- Take your time.

[sighs] Okay. Okay. Okay.

[exhales] Okay.

Sorry. This bra is such a nightmare.

Just give me one second.
It's cute, but it's...

[quietly] Okay.

Just one second.

[nervous chuckle]

Hi.

Come here.

Okay.

What do you want me to do?

Up to you.

Do you want me to...

...take my clothes off?

Didn't you just put them on?

Um, yeah... but...

Yeah, I did.

I put them on so that
we could take them off...

- Hmm.
- ...if that's what we... how this...

I wouldn't say no to that.

Okay, so I...

Do you want me to take them off?

Should I take it off?

I'm not uncomfortable with the idea.

No, that's clear.

But I just... I thought maybe...

I think I was like... You know...

Like a firm yes or no.

But whatev... You know, we can...

I'm... not...

uncomfortable with the idea...

...Chris.

- [knocking on door]
- Woman: Room service!

[exhales] She'll be gone in a second.

[knocking on door]

- [knocking on door]
- What should I do?

Whatever you want to do.

- That's all right...
- [knocking on door]

It's all right.

- What?
- Uh... Oh.

Ice?

Should I get a second bucket?

Uh... Uh, thank you.

Thank you.

- You want a drink?
- No.

I've had my fill today.

My God.

Can we please talk about
what's going on right now?

I don't know what's happening.
Can we...

Can we just...

Can we just take a second and talk
about what's happening right now?

I thought I was here to obliterate
the walls of your desire.

- [chuckles]
- Well...

You wanna have some kind of a...

deep kind of...

late-night... heartfelt talk

like a couple of college kids?

What do you want to know?
You wanna know about me?

You wanna know about, uh...

You want to know about my childhood?

You want to know
who my first crush was?

Oh, my God...

I know what.

We could, um, go out to dinner.

We could go out to dinner and, uh,

we could talk about art.

Oh...

I could tell you what I know.

- Oh, my God.
- [chuckles]

We could talk about the
Andalusian myths of paradise.

Or, um...

we could discuss, uh...

rare tools from the American West.

- [exhales]
- You know what?

Mmm. What?

I don't think you wanna know
a f*ckin' thing about me.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

- What is it? What?
- Oh, it's nothing.

What's... What's...

- It's nothing.
- What's up?

This feels so weird.

Doesn't this feel weird?

Is it your husband?

I mean, it's, like, a part of it.

Yeah, it's okay.

I know. I get it.

- You do?
- Yeah. I do.

- Okay.
- I get it.

Okay. [nervous chuckle]

- All right.
- And so we...

We spoke.

Who spoke?

Who spoke?

Sylvere and I, we... we...

We spoke.

Wait.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Where?

At your house.

About what?

About...

About this.

[chuckles]

What did he say?

What exactly did he say?

He said,

"I want you to f*ck my wife."

Uh...

[chuckles]

He sent you here to f*ck me?

He sent you here to f*ck me.

So you guys... You had a...

There's a deal?

You guys had a deal about me?

Is that what went down? You traded...

He traded me like
a f*cking baseball card?

Like a f*cking farm animal?

- That's not how it went.
- Oh, it's not?

So how did it go down?

How did it go down?

What did he say, "I'll give you
two of my best milk cows

for a chance to bone my wife"?

We had a couple of drinks...

Stay away from my husband.

[both stammer, mutter]

Okay. Well, yeah.

Okay. This is getting exciting.

Oh, don't pull that
condescending sh*t with me.

That whole John Wayne "you're pretty

when you're angry, missy" bullshit.

I thought that was your thing.

You have no idea
what the f*ck my thing is.

Yeah? Yeah?

Well, the feeling is mutual.

Get out.

Get out!

- Look, Chris...
- Get the f*ck out now!

Whatever you want, lady.

[exhales]

♪♪ [guitar]

Long time no see.

You gotta look at this.

- Toby's gone viral.
- What do you mean viral?

She did some performance
protest at the Man Camp.

Man Camp?

What was she doing at the Man Camp?

Take a look for yourself.

It was some type of, like,
conceptual art piece.

Offering her body...
Like, instead of pipelines

going into the land,
it's going into her body.

The pipeline is going inside her...

- Metaphorically.
- I know. I get that.

- She's hard core.
- It's a stunt.

Yeah, well, not really.

[door opens]

- Hey.
- Toby Willis has gone viral.

Come here. You gotta see this.

Ooh, working in the body art tradition.

And what are all these
little dancing heart things?

Those are eyeballs, pupils, corneas.

The whole world
is frickin' seeing this.

Half a billion people
were watching this?

- Can you blame them?
- Holy sh*t.

Yo, is it cool if I get my thing back?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

See ya.

- [door opens, closes]
- That piece didn't come through.

Oh. Wow. Who?

Laura Aguilar.

The donor thought it wouldn't
resonate well with our collection.

Wow. Cool.

Hmm. Cool?

You don't even care, do you?

It's not the end of the world.

Unbelievable.

Your indifference is staggering.

I don't even know why I bother.

I've had offers from DIA, MOCA, NCA.

What the f*ck am I even doing here?

Paula. Paula.

Paula. Don't go.

You don't want me to go?

No.

I don't want you to go.

I have waited so long
to hear those words.

Because?

I'm gonna go.

You can't f*cking go!

I know.

But I am.

I'm gonna go.

It's yours, okay?

It's all yours.

Take it.

I mean, nobody comes here anyway.

How many people come here a year?

Maybe ?

And Toby f*cking Willis

has half a million people watching her

sit naked

on Mount f*cking Livermore.

Nobody cares about this place.

Nobody gives a sh*t,
so, please, take it.

Take the building. Take the name.

Use the name. Don't use the name.

Because...

Because...

I'm out.

I want out.

I need...

...out.

♪♪ [guitar]

Can't be I had to spend
bucks to get us out of jail.

I can't wait to take a shower.

I feel covered... in desert... crunch.

Yeah.

I have dirt so deep
in my junk right now,

it's like I was wearing pants.

Want some Bon Ami?

Just, like, take showers,
get some Bon Ami.

Uh...

Hey, uh, Devon.

What?

I mean, like, low key.

Just...

[chuckles]

I just, um...

I think I need a...

just, like a little downtime,

like a, just, a minute.

Your possessiveness is a lot.

And I feel like it would
just be good for both of us

to have a second to check
in with ourselves.

I don't...

Does... Is that fair?

Sure.

♪♪ [Ethnic]

♪♪ [continues]

♪♪ [ends]

[train whistle in distance]

[door slams]

How long did it take you guys
to barter my p*ssy?

- It wasn't like that.
- No?

Was it just like...
"f*ck my wife, please!

"Please! Take her off my hands!

f*ck my wife!"

- We talked about other things.
- Oh, good!

Oh, good. Oh, I'm so glad.

It sounds like a really fun afternoon.

Did you put out snacks?
Did you... Were you a good host?

'Cause you guys must
have gotten famished

after all that f*ckin' horse trading.

Actually, we pretty much
drank our dinner.

Were there stipulations on the f*cking?

Were there any, like... "Don't do it.

"She doesn't like a**l.

"Just dog... Doggy style is preferable.

No eye contact."

Did you give him any pointers?

Were you like...
"Uh! She gotta pee beforehand.

"Make sure she gets a chance to pee.

Be easy on her nips, man,
'cause she'll freak out."

How the f*ck did I get
to be the bad guy?

Huh?

You wanted my permission.
I gave it to you.

I did not ask for your permission!

What the f*ck are you talking about?

You gave d*ck f*ckin'
permission to f*ck me!

That's what happened!

So did you do it?

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Did you do it?

No!

No, I did not f*ck d*ck! No!

Well, are you going to?

Are you?

Oh, my God.

[shouts]

Where are you going?

- Where are you going?
- I gotta get out of here.

I'm going back to New York.
I gotta keep this sublet.

I don't know.
I've gotta get out of here!

- [muttering]
- That's not gonna...

- You have too much in there.
- f*ck!

Please get the f*ck away from me!

Just please get the...

I could do it myself!

Oh, my God!

You f*ck!

Oh, f*ck me!

Okay.

- I can't...
- [zipping]

I thought this is what you wanted.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

[water bubbling]

♪♪ [Spanish guitar]

♪♪ [woman sings in Spanish]

♪♪ [continues]

♪♪ [continues]

♪♪ [ends]

[laughter]