02x16 - Ruthless

[bunniefuu]

Welcome
to the LAPD g*n Buyback Program.

$100 to $500 per g*n.

No questions asked.

It's raining g*ns out there.

I told you, man.

- Don't ever doubt me.
- You know what?

I'm finna call an audible.
Y'all strap up.

We going shopping.

No, wait, wait, wait.

The plan is, we wait till dark, man.

I got a new plan.

Yo, Carlo, there's way
too many people out here, man.

Hey, who say we go right
now? Show of hands.

Sorry, you been outvoted.

I have... three bam.

Man.

Seven cr*ck.

Ah-ah.

And that is what we call in the business:

mo-jonga!

Mah-jongg, and mah ass.

You're cheating.

Oh, come on, Ruthie,
don't be a sore loser.

Uh, I haven't been called
a sore loser since '87.

And lesson learned:

never challenge Don Henley to lawn darts.

Now, give me the boot.

Go on.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

What kind of schlemiel
cheats at penny mah-jongg?

The kind who's tired of losing
five nights in a row.

- Want to make it six?
- You're on.

But it's your night for food.

None of that spray cheese
crap you made me eat.

No spray cheese, no alcohol?

You're just a barrel of fun,

aren't you, Ruthie?

Oh, uh, I got to take this.

What? I'm right in the
middle of something.

Son of a...

Because I told him that bef...

I've already...

You know I already talked
to him, right? I...

Last week.

Okay. Well, how much?

That's more money
than I've seen in my life.

This is extortion.

No. The hell I will!

I said, the hell I will!

Everything okay?

Depends how you look at it.

I... I got to take off.

See you tonight?

No, Marty.

I-I mean, I'm taking off.

Taillights by sunset.

Wait a minute, you're leaving?

Hey. Who was that on the phone?

Oh. It's no one.

Just, um, I got to, you know,
I... just time for me to go.

I-I don't like staying in
one place for too long.

Roamers gotta roam, huh?

This is, you know, good news for you.

You're gonna get your view back.

Oh, no, you slept down here again?

What? No.

I'm just, uh,

folding up laundry, you know.

And, uh, tidying up my pillow,

- as one does.
- That's called denial.

It's been five nights in a row.

Look, whatever's going on
between you and Mom,

apologize already.

There's nothing going on.

Really?

You two are barely talking,
you're sleeping on the couch,

and your toothbrush is always downstairs.

You know what? You're brainwashed.

You sound just like your mother.

- That's your mother talking.
- No.

This is

their mother talking.

Riana, RJ, dismissed.

No, Riana, RJ, you don't
have to go anywhere.

We are captains of our
own ships in this house.

See ya, Dad.

- I'm out.
- Mm.

Trish.

Good morning, Roger.

And, uh...

how did you sleep last night?

Right in the middle of the bed...

spread out.

Roger.

Is there nothing you want to say to me?

Actually, there is.

Have you seen

my, uh... keys?

They're in your hand, Roger.

No, no. My, uh...

other...

keys.

The motorcycle.

- You are not...
- Oops.

Ha! Found 'em.

Good for you.

- I'll be out there poppin' wheelies.
- Eh.

What the hell are you doing?

Hanging up my helmet.

You know, when I talked to Trish,

I-I thought maybe
she was overreacting, but...

You talked to Trish?

That is an unbelievable betrayal.

Eh, she calls, I just
don't want to be rude.

You ignore my phone calls all the time.

- You want my advice?
- No, I do not.

Apologize to Trish and move on.

You know, look, I-I-I've been playing

a lot of mah-jongg lately.

Mah-jongg?

- Let me guess. Ruthie?
- And what I've learned

is that you got to play the
tiles you've been dealt.

I've got excellent tiles.

You're overplaying your hand, Rog.

- It's a schmuck move.
- Did you just say "schmuck"?

Am I supposed to take advice

from a guy who's dating
his 86-year-old neighbor?

We're not dating.

Okay. Bumpin' uglies.

And she's not my neighbor.

Anymore, anyway.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that.

Don't worry, you'll find someone else.

There's a retirement community
just up the road.

Bowman, is it too early in the morning

to punch Rog in the face?

Don't answer that.
It's not a real question.

So, someone ripped off our g*n buyback?

That's got to be a first.

They got a truck filled
with 400-plus weapons.

Officers were ambushed

by masked gangbangers.

One of whom decided to stick around.

Well, it was decided for him.

- Did we sh**t him in the back?
- Wasn't LAPD.

Eyewitnesses all say
the same thing, though.

Someone on his own team took him out.

Imagine?

Getting to the point where you'd
sh**t your own partner in the back?

Oh, yeah, yep, I could see that. 100%

== Re-synced by MaxPayne ==

Avery, we have a development.

Good, because we can't let
a truck full of g*ns

get taken under our noses...
please tell me you found 'em.

The g*ns? No.

We have a barely reliable eyewitness

who saw some g*ng ink on a suspect.

Riggs and I are heading to Crenshaw

- to investigate the lead.
- That's the development?

What? No.

I'm talking about
a development with Trish.

This morning I sensed a
ready-to-cr*ck vibe from her.

So I think if I can just wedge that...

I'm gonna have to stop you
right there, Rog.

I-I'm gonna have to recuse myself.

Trish called today looking for an ear,

and I feel like I should
remain a neutral party.

First Riggs, now you.

She's employing the isolation method.

It's like Sun Tzu says.
Chapter one, The Art of w*r.

If your enemies are united, divide 'em.

You're reading The Art of w*r?

She's a master strategist...
I need all the help

- I can get.
- Roger...

you need to apologize.

End this. She is not ready to cr*ck.

I've done nothing wrong.

And this wouldn't be an apology,

it would be a surrender.

Do that, then. That's a great idea.

I thought you were a neutral party.

And I am neutrally telling you

that Trish is way out of your league.

You won the lottery;
don't throw away the ticket.

Well, you've made your side known.

There's no sides.

In w*r, there's always a side.

Sun Tzu.

A doughnut without a hole...

is just a Danish.

That's Caddyshack.

Doesn't make it less true.

You're about to get it.

Hey, Riggs.

What the hell was that?

What was what?

The spit.

When you passed me on the 10, you spit!

Nah, that doesn't sound like me.

Yeah? Then explain this.

Oh. Maybe, uh...

- windshield wiper fluid?
- You know that would require

you to wash your damn windshield.

Look, we could do this all day.
Why don't we split up

and try to find the bang sticks?

Yeah.

And who sh*t his friend?

- Maybe I can get some tips.
- Uh-huh.

Whoa, 305 V-8.

15-inch radials with spinners.

You are one hot

piece of American pie.

Why, thank you.

I was talking about the car.

I know.

I like a man who appreciates
the classics,

even if he is a cop.

You the owner of that fine-ass Harley?

You don't ever own a Harley.

The Harley owns you.

Heritage Softail.

Twin cam engine.

Dark, slim and smooth.

Huh. Just how I like it.

Uh, yeah, um...

getting to the point.

Uh, you might know something
about some stolen g*ns?

Ah. You want to talk to Booker.

Ever since Carlo got got,
he's the man in charge.

He over there.

Hey! This looks like fun.

You guys mind if I play?

Uh, sorry, buddy, this game is full.

Oh, that's all right. Look, I, uh...

brought my own tiles.

- Oh, there we go.
- What the hell is this?

Coming up in here
dropping Chinese Scrabble.

No, that's mah-jongg.

Fun as hell.

My man knows what's up.

Man, this dude's a cop.

LAPD must have lowered the bar
on that entrance exam, huh?

Yeah, well, it is multiple choice.

Right?
One gets lucky.

Well, Officer,

if you plan on arresting us
for betting on dominoes,

can you do it now?

'Cause I'm up, like,
50 bucks on these fools.

Look, I got a bet.

I bet you know where I can find
about 400 stolen weapons.

Can't help you there.

All right, let me double down.

I bet that 9mm you're holding

matches the w*apon that sh*t Carlo.

What's he talking about?

Oh, wait a minute.

You-you didn't tell these guys?

Oh, look, here's the thing.

I... I don't fault the impulse, okay?

That, I get.

But sh**ting him in the back...

Dang, bud, that's cold-blooded.

Oh!

Hey, man.

Hey, look...
the g*ns are secure, all right?

I'm a cop.

You're a cop?

Not so loud.

Look, you are messing with
a federal operation.

There he is.

Here, quick, just hit me.

Wait, wait a minute. What now?

Hit me, man. To protect my cover.

And make it look good.

- Oh! Huh.
- Oh!

- Came out of nowhere.
- For real?

- Good job, Rog.
- Hey.

Aren't you gonna give me your number?

My number, baby?

Mm-hmm.

911.

How many times do I have to say it?

We're not gonna put
a hard number on that, are we?

Nope.

I sh*t Carlo because
he was about to sh**t a uni.

You know what, you're welcome.

- He's a nutjob.
- Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's delightful.

But the g*ns.

Where are the g*ns?

You will get the g*ns
when I'm done with the op.

Now, if you keep me here,

a major arms dealer

is just gonna skate away.

Right, 'cause you're an "undercover cop."

I'm A*F.

Hmm.

Now, do you need me
to spell that for you?

Wow. All right, that's the
best alibi I've heard all day.

You win the coffee.

A*F.

Nobody's ever come in here
and sat down and said that.

Ugh, man.

Precinct swill.

It's off-brand Maxwell House.

It's the cutbacks of 2016, right?

And I think I believe him.

Because he smelled the coffee?

He knew about the cutbacks of 2016.

There's always cutbacks.

Look, buddy,

I've seen undercover.

I know undercover.

You are not undercover.

Be right back.

I got a call. He's A*F.

Oh, he's A*F.

But posing as a g*ng member.

What do they call that again?

I just don't understand how I missed it.

- Undercover!
- Well, undercover or not,

stealing g*ns from
our backyard, not cool.

The A*F's gonna hear from this guy.

Undercover's supposed
to smell undercover.

My compass must be off.

- What's he babbling about?
- Just don't.

Just... no, don't-don't ask.

Oh, no. Really?

Rog, have you ever been undercover?

Not just undercover.

Deep, deep undercover.

It was two weeks.

Undercover as what?

Randy Drexler,

a journeyman used car salesman.

The youngest of six children.

Randy grew up poor

in a cabin built by his grandpappy

just outside of Reno.

Created a whole character bio.

For two weeks, we had to call him Randy.

Yeah, because I was Randy!

A gifted salesman with
questionable moral judgment.

You know, Randy took down

an entire criminal enterprise.

It was a chop shop in El Monte.

And helped a certain unnamed actor

win his second Academy Award.

Denzel went on a ride-along with Randy.

Mm-hmm. Yep. But he didn't

even thank Randy or I at the Oscars.

What's he doing?

I don't know.

Hopefully a sequel to Glory.

Not Denzel.

Bowman, what are you doing?

Ah, there you are.
I got that name for you.

- The one harassing Ruthie.
- He's still seeing Ruthie?

Yeah. I think it's purely sexual.

- Ugh.
- Uh,

his name's Teddy Malkin.

He's a repo man.

Ted Malkin?

Is this your car?

Take it up with your bank, pal.

Two steps back
or we're gonna have a problem.

Yeah, this is not my vehicle, Teddy,

but we do have a problem.

See, you been hunting
down Ruthie Krumholz.

I need you to lose her paperwork.

Ruthie Krumholz?

You're talking to me
about Ruthie Krumholz?

I don't like the way
you keep saying her name.

Mom, where do
you find these guys?

What are you... let me
guess... spoken word poet?

What did you just say?

Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to offend.

Twig furniture maker?

Wait, Ruthie's your mother?

She never mentioned she had kids.

Makes it easier to pretend she doesn't.

So, you called her this morning

and you're the one that freaked
her out. What was it you said?

My mother uses my mailing address.

Every collection agent, IRS auditor

that tries to reach her finds me.

I called to tell her that
the City of I.A. sent a bill

for 1,800 parking tickets.

I asked if she needed money.

Money?

I know. I'm a real d*ck, right?

How long you known my mom?

Two or three weeks.

Two or three weeks?

So you overheard a phone call

and then took it upon yourself
to trace the number,

track me down,
and confront me all because...?

I didn't want her to leave.

Wow.

Dude,

if you're holding on to her that tight,

I think I just met the one person

more dysfunctional than she is.

Brooks Avery, the
disappointment of Delta Tau.

Blum.

You're still with the A*F?

Try newly appointed special
agent in charge of Los Angeles.

You didn't read about
it in the class notes?

The alumni newsletter?

Yeah, no, no one reads that.

Where's Booker?

I want my guy back.

I want my weapons back.

The weapons LAPD lost?

The weapons A*F stole in some
half-assed undercover operation.

The A*F

doesn't sanction covert
robberies of the LAPD, okay?

There was no undercover operation.

Your-your guy Booker said...

My guy is a lunatic.

He said he's been undercover,
chasing some arms dealer.

Luther Strickland.

It was only supposed to last six months.

Then Strickland sh**t Booker's partner.

Booker then goes off the deep end.

I can't control him.

And now it's like he's his own boss.

And since then, the job has been...

Yep. Been there.

Please.

You have no idea
what it's like trying to manage

a certifiable maniac for years.

Trust me, I do.

I have a stress-induced hiatal
hernia the size of a melon.

My chiropractor says
this job is giving me

the posture of a 16th-century serf.

I'm growing a hunch.

My guy's worse.

I'm gonna get a character witness.

Hey, Bowman!

Send Murtaugh in here.

Can you hurry up, dude?

I do have places to be.

It's possible that you have not torpedoed

my entire operation yet.

There is no operation.

You want to help me,
tell me where the g*ns are.

My God, man, are you really back to this?

You just spoke to my handler, right?

Yeah, we talked.

As a matter of fact,

he's here now to take you in.

Please, Blum is...

Come on, let's go.

Look, did he tell you that
Strickland k*lled my partner?

He did.

And I'm sorry.

I understand why you went off the rails.

Been there myself.

But it's over.

Your only play is to tell me
where the g*ns are.

Looks like I got a couple of plays left.

Everybody stay back!

Stay back!

Oh, my good God.

Stay back!

Put the w*apon down!

Booker! Move!

- Booker.
- Everybody calm down!

Roger, you okay?

Fine. Why do you ask?

You be smart, Booker.

You should think about what you're doing.

You know, if I thought about it,
I probably wouldn't do it.

Undercover life.

Every day's an adventure, am I right?

Booker, stand down.
This is not gonna end well.

Surrender that w*apon.

What the heck's going on?

His lunatic took Murtaugh
hostage in the elevator.

Who is that?

My lunatic.

Well, Booker,

I know you're not gonna sh**t a cop.

So what's your plan?

I don't know.

What would you do?

I don't know. Me, I'd probably...

climb down, turn myself in.

Yeah, you know what,

I don't think you would.

And I don't think I will either.

Riggs!

Figure you got about

30 seconds to save your partner.

Well, look who decided to drop in.

Everything all right with Ruthie?

Would you like to talk
about this now, or...

I'd like to talk about
this in the break room.

If you could just...
I don't have the key.

I got a key. Watch your eyes.

Come on, Rog.

You know what?

If Trish calls tonight,

you might not want to mention this.

Yeah.

Yo, Dad, this is the
best macaroni and cheese ever.

Well, it's the breadcrumbs.

Your mother doesn't seem to like them.

But in this house, we are all

- captains of our own ship.
- Captains of our own ship.

- Got it.
- Very well said, son.

Good, very good.

Here. Take these.

- Why, aren't you the sweet one?
- No.

You are. You're giving them
to mom when she gets home.

Why, pray tell, would I do that?

'Cause this has gone on long enough, Dad.

Okay, look what you're doing to RJ.

He's having two dinners every night.

Wh... you've been eating
with your mother, too?

Don't drag me into this.

Mm-hmm.

I'm only here for the free food.

- Judas.
- Dad.

You left your bike in the
middle of the driveway.

You're trying to provoke her.

No, I'm trying to set an
example for my children.

There comes a time when
a man must plant his flag.

And he must hold firm to that flag,

consequences be damned.

I think Mom just ran over your flag.

You m*rder*d my bike.

You hit her on purpose.

Roger, it was dark,

and you left it in the
middle of the driveway.

Vehicles belong in the driveway.

That is why they're called "driveways."

It was an innocent accident.

Oh, was it?

Art of w*r, chapter 11.

"Destroy that which
the enemy holds dear."

Oh, so you think this is a w*r.

Who's winning, Roger?

You know what? The joke is on you,

because when I report you, and I will,

your insurance rates are gonna go up.

I can afford it.

Martin Ellis Riggs, what the
hell is wrong with you?

That's not my middle name.

You booted my RV.

No, you booted your RV by not
paying those parking tickets.

You know, when the cop told me

that a mustachioed detective
ratted me out,

I-I figured, sure, another one
of Tom Selleck's pranks,

but no, it was you.

Why?

Vehicular truancy is a serious offense.

You had 1,800 parking tickets.

What am I supposed to do with that?

How'd you find out about that?

A concerned citizen.

- A concerned citizen?
- A concerned citizen.

Who would even know that I...?

Oh, my God. You...

You talked to my son?

Okay. How'd you find him?

I would love to tell you that,
but, technically,

that would be a violation
of the Fourth Amendment.

You had no right to do that.

- Look, I thought you were in trouble.
- Okay?

So you tried to keep me here with a boot.

Look, I-I didn't know.

I thought you were in trouble,
okay? You-you were scared

when you came in from that phone call.

I'm not scared, Marty, you are.

Scared of what?

That when I go, you'll be all alone.

- All right.
- And on those quiet nights,

in that empty tin coffin,

you won't have anybody or anything

to keep you from falling off the wagon.

Or worse.

I'm not your crutch, Marty.

I wasn't put here to save you.

I never asked you to.

Good.

Because some people are beyond saving.

one the
ancients called "The Fighter,"

is one who not only wins,

but excels in winning with ease.

He who knows when he can fight,

and when he cannot...

...will be victorious.

Murtaugh, how's the stakeout?

Did Blum's tip pay off?

He who is prudent lies in wait.

For the love of God,

when are you gonna be done
with that book?

I think Booker just led me to the truck

from the g*n buyback.

Any g*ns in that truck?

No idea, but the truck's on the move.

Any word from Riggs?

No, not yet.

You know what they say.

He who is pru...

Yep. That's Riggs in a drawer.

Did you not believe me?

I thought you were trying
to trick me down here

for a birthday party.

Can you both please shut up?

Did you sleep in here?

This is a new low.

So many health code violations.

This is for a college
friend to settle a bet.

What are you do... shut the drawer.

Murtaugh's looking for you.
He's following Booker.

He may have a lead on the g*ns.

Oh, that is not formaldehyde.

Riggs, are you drunk?

Not at the moment.

Should I be worried?

I mean...

It was on purpose, wasn't it?

Excuse me?

You hit Dad's motorcycle on purpose.

You aimed for it, maybe even sped up.

What? No.

I-I didn't see it. I tried to stop.

Then where are the skid marks?

Riana, I'm telling you...

No. Let's go out into
the driveway right now.

You can show me

where the skid marks are
from where you braked.

There are no skid marks.

- I didn't brake. I hit it on purpose.
- Why?

Because he knows he's not supposed

to be riding that motorcycle.

He knows, and he won't
listen to words, so...

Mom. What are you guys doing?

You guys? No, not "you guys."

I'm not the one acting...

Listen, I have been very rational.

Oh, oh, besides the whole driveway thing.

You know what? He's the one digging in.

- You're both digging in.
- Your father started it.

Do you hear yourself right now?

Listen, you don't understand.

When you're married, you will.

There are lines that are crossed,

and you just, you got to dig in.

Fine, Mom.

Even if you're right,

what happens if you guys dig in so far

that you can't make it back?

You getting ready to take
those back to the LAPD, right?

What are you doing here, man?

You're gonna mess this up for me.

Just walk away.

I ain't going nowhere without you, baby.

Is there a problem, William?

Nah. Ain't no problem
at all, Mr. Strickland.

Yeah, just give us a
second to sort this out.

All I'm saying is your Glock 19

will take your Glock 17 magazines,

and not the other way around.
And I think that

that should be reflected in the price.

William.

You didn't tell me
you'd be bringing someone.

Who's this?

Who am I?

You want to know who I am.

Mr. Strickland, who are you
that you don't know me?

I'm the broker, baby.

I'm the man.

I'm Randy Drexler.

Is that right?

He's with you?

Hell yeah.

It's Randy Drexler.

He's my broker.

I don't leave home without him.

Fair enough.

That's so next time...

you tell me when you're bringing someone.

Get your partner here inside,

Randy Drexler.

Let's do some business.

All right, this is a bad idea.
You should wait for backup.

Avery, would you please
take this guy to school?

They don't wait for backup.

We don't know what Strickland
has planned.

This could be an ambush.

Could be, but it's probably not.

Probably not?

You're gonna let him risk
his life on "probably not"?

I don't "let him" do anything.

He just sort of does it.

Yeah. Booker, too. It's infuriating.

Sometimes I fantasize about
getting hit by a bus.

Not enough to k*ll me, you know,

just enough to put me in a coma.

Yeah. For me, it's a train.

A train's interesting.

You-you know I can hear you both, right?

What's your plan, Riggs?

You can't just walk up
and knock on the door.

Uh, you're right.

I'll ring the bell.

- Oh. He's gonna ring the bell.
- It's nicer.

Club's closed.

Oh, I'm not here for the party.

I have a meeting with Strickland.

I'm representing Carlo Gutierrez.

Carlo's dead.

Ah, well. All the more reason
he needs representation.

Who are you?

Me? I'm, uh...

I'm Randy Drexler.

You're Randy Drexler?

Yeah. Named after my grandpappy

who built the cabin I grew up in.

Really special man.

Randy Drexler.

Strickland's definitely
gonna want to see you.

Ah, beautiful.

Arms up.

Randy Drexler...

...meet Randy Drexler.

Hey.

Small world.

Microscopic.

What are the odds?

Two Randy Drexlers in the same club.

Like Drexler and Drexler.

This sounds kind of like
a law firm or something.

- Funny. Well, I'm in sales, so...
- Funny.

You don't look like...

a Randy Drexler.

Funny. That's not what Denzel said.

I signed an NDA, so I shouldn't
really talk about it,

but he loosely based
one of his characters on me.

Denzel played you in a movie?

I've said too much already.

What do you think, William?

You vouched for one Randy.

What about the other?

I ain't never seen that dude
before in my life.

Good.

Then you won't mind if we k*ll him.

Look, come on, man.
You ain't got to sh**t this guy.

Oh.

I'm not gonna sh**t anybody.

You know, I... You-you get me wrong.

I don't care if there's one Randy Drexler

or two or 12.

I just don't like cops.

- Who said anything about cops, baby?
- I did.

Me.

That's who. And I think you might be one.

Now, I'm more than happy
to be proven wrong.

Go on, take it.

sh**t him.

Hey, look, this... this wasn't
part of the deal, man.

Oh, well, I could k*ll
all three of you instead.

That's your call.

Or...

we could let him go

and make him live in the shame of defeat.

Ooh, that would be cold-blooded.

You don't come back from that.

Mm-mm. You sh**t him.

Or he sh**t you.

Come on, Randy.

You don't have much of a choice.

It's all right. sh**t me.

You want me to sh**t you?

Yeah.

I want you to sh**t me.

- Just-just sh**t me.
- This is...

Randy, it's okay.

Some people...

they're beyond saving.

Let's go. It's now or never.

Let's go, Randy!

sh**t! On three. Three...

- two...
- sh**t, Randy!

sh**t! - Do it!

What?

You thought we'd give you a loaded g*n?

But you did good, Randy.

You did real good.

Now take him out back and do it right.

You sh*t at me!

You told me to sh**t you!

You were supposed to sh**t over me.

- Or sh**t the bad guy, something!
- How was I supposed to know that?

Listen, I was very clear with my signal!

You suck at charades.

Besides, I knew it wasn't loaded

'cause I could feel
the weight of the g*n.

Lies.

How? What-what lies?

A b*llet weighs ten grams.

I'm an industry professional.

I know my tools.

Hey, speaking of tools, mine's empty.

Yeah. Me, too.

Hey, Randy?

Yeah?

Been nice working with you.

You, too, Randy.

LAPD! Hands in the air!

- On your knees!
- Hands in the air!

Put your weapons down now!

Stay on the ground!

Hey, Cap.

What took you guys so long?

You're right.

Train's faster.

You're serious? Rog, I am just dying
to see this magical skill of yours.

So you choose the w*apon that's unloaded,

and I'll sh**t myself in the foot.

I don't want to.

- Because you can't. Admit it.
- I can.

- You got lucky.
- Uh, hey.

How's your shoulder?

- It's about as good as this coffee.
- Mm.

Hey, listen, man,

I need to apologize for the other day.

- The elevator.
- Hey, forget it.

Undercover life, right?

Every day's an adventure.

Yeah, well, you saved my ass,
Randy Drexler.

- You're welcome.
- You're welcome.

What?

This g*n. That's the one.

- Oh, is this it?
- Yep.

You know, it doesn't feel like it.

Yeah, trust me.
All right, I'm gonna sh**t.

- One, two, three!
- Ah!

You're right.

- Your lunatic's worse.
- Thank you.

Let's go.

What was that?

Rog has a special skill.

He can determine
if a w*apon is loaded or not

simply by putting it in his hands.

Yeah, my hands are like scales.

Really? Can they also deliver
wine, flowers...

...and a romantic
apology weekend for your wife?

I don't need an apology weekend.

Oh, you and Trish made up?

Even better. She screwed up.

She ran my motorcycle over on purpose,

but now she feels really bad.

She's called me twice already.

Solved like adults. What did she say?

I didn't even pick up the phone.

I'm milking it.

For the first time,

I have the upper hand in
the relationship.

You don't have the...
you've got pocket threes, Rog.

- At best. You should fold.
- Yeah.

- You should fold. Fold.
- It's like Sun Tzu says. If you...

What he said.

I see you took care of your boot problem.

Well, a couple of shotgun shells

will pretty much take care of anything.

Let me guess.
Charles Bronson taught you that?

Ricardo Montalbán's stableboy.

So, uh...

what are you still doing hanging around?

Well, you know, wanted to say good-bye.

And, uh...

you know, something maybe
in the apology arena.

Uh...

you didn't come home last night.

Thinking I was maybe a little too harsh.

Not the worst thing in the world

to have someone look out for you, is it?

Maybe you could change your mind.

Stick around for a little while.

Wish I could.

I'm not built to stick around.

Not like you.

I never did figure out
how to put down roots.

Roots?

Lady, my house has wheels on it, too.

Wheel. One wheel.

Yeah, the left one had some life in it,

so I took it in case I need a spare.

The point is, Marty...

...don't be so afraid.

Uh, what-what am I afraid?

To put roots down? Is that it?

I think you're afraid
'cause you already have.

I'm out of wisdom.

That's... Don't have
anything else for you. Oh!

And this.

What am I supposed to do with this?

Find someone to play with.

See you, Marty.

Hey.

Where is everybody?

Hey. Um, they're out.

Uh, I was thinking
we could have dinner and talk.

- Mmm.
- Baby...

...we're a team.

And I was thinking...

About running over my motorcycle.

Don't even worry about it.

You're forgiven.

- I'm forgiven?
- Mm-hmm.

I did park haphazardly

- in the middle of the driveway.
- That's true.

Mm-hmm. And it was dark out,

- so you probably didn't see it.
- It was dark.

And probably for the first time

in the history of a*t*matic lights,

yours automatically

didn't come on,

- 'cause sometimes...
- Roger, Roger.

I'm sorry...

that I ran over your motorcycle.

And I'm sorry
that I said that I'm over it,

and I really wasn't over it.

And I'm still not over it,
but I'm getting over it.

And... it's done.

Done.

- You sure?
- Mm-hmm.

Good.

Fresh start?

Yeah.

- Hmm?
- Oh, baby.

What's going on?

- Um, your father and I...
- No, outside.

We got a new car?

What? No. No, no, no, no.

- We didn't get a new car.
- Well, actually,

we kind of did, you know?

I bought it from a friend.

It was a... what do you call it...

a impulse purchase.

Got kind of crazy.

Okay, so, your father made a mistake,

but we are adults, and we will discuss...

"Mistake"? I don't think it
was a mistake.

Hmm.

Come in.

I, uh, may have...

overplayed my hand.

Hmm.

Hmm.

All right, come in. Sit down.

The game is mah-jongg.

Ten-dollar game.

- Ready?
- Mah-jongg? What? This is like...

What do you want to play,
shuffleboard after that?

Maybe some horseshoes?

You want to sleep out in the sand?

- Okay.
- Yeah.