03x11 - Dial M for Murtaugh

[bunniefuu]

Listen man, I know you got a job to do.

But I shouldn't even be here.

You have the wrong guy.

My men says otherwise.

Start talking.

Any topic in particular?

Or it is a more of a blue sky situation.

This isn't a joke Mr Murtaugh.

Lives are a stake.

Now... start from the begining.

Well the begining is

I should've never gone
in that damn vacation.

♪ Keep on movin' till ♪

♪ The first rays of dawn, keep it on... ♪

Ok Murtaugh family vaction on three.

One.

- Two..
- Baby! the lens cap.

Do you even know how to use that thing?

Well, is new. I'm learning on the job.

(TRISH CHUCKLES)
Maybe you can learn later.

- After we check in, okay?
- (SHUTTER CLICKS)

- All right, let's look.
- Oh perfect.

If we drop Harper at the kids club now,

we can still make the
nature walk at 9:30.

Can I just hang at the pool?

We will, look, "Relax at
pool, 10:30 to 11:00.:

Not that I don't appreciate
your hard work, mom,

it's just you seem a little wound up,

and it's not, it's not you.

Yeah, it's more like Dad.

Rianna, let's try and
attitude adjustment.

You told me that I had to come,
not that I had to like it.

Aw, poor you, got caught
drinking at a dance.

And your punishment is going
to a resort with your family.

ROGER JR: Oh I think it's.
I think it's great that we're

here together. Relaxing,

Keeping an open mind about new things.

Thank you R.J. All right
clock is ticking, honey?

Let's go check in Roger.
We wil be right back.

Wow, you're such a kiss-ass.

Look, I just want them to be in
the right mood when I tell them.

- All right?
- That you're rising money

to open a weed store?

No, small-batch premium dispensary

And I'm waiting for
the perfect moment, okay?

All right, well, hurry up.

I want to go back to being the good kid.

Can you believe it? They stuck us

in courtyard views.

- Courtyard.
- TRISH: Baby,

we're gonna hardly be in the room.

It's no big deal.

You're right. I'm fine.

I'm not gonna let anything
ruin this vacation.

COLE: I'm gonna stop you there, Roger.

That's not the beginning.

You got to go back
further, to the lean-in.

I'm in the middle of a story here.

What lean-in?

- I thought I told you.
- No.

- Huh.
- I would've remembered the lean-in.

Gentlemen, you, uh,

you want to fill me in here?
What exactly is a lean-in?

Do you mind?

Well, there's this new deputy D.A.

We've been on a bunch of cases together,

working really hard,
burning the midnight oil.

(ERICA LAUGHING)

- No, hear me out.
- Cole, you are crazy.

- It's a solid movie.
- You need a doctor.

- It's super underrated.
- You need help.

Cole, no one on the planet
likes Die Hard 2

- better than Die Hard one.
- Well, I do.

I saw that movie with my mom

when she was on assignment in Dresden.

It was my birthday,
I didn't know anybody,

so she let me play hooky.

It's dumb, but I grew up

wanting to be John McClane.

Well, you kind of are.

So where does Mama Cole live now?

Actually, she d*ed

- a long time ago.
- Oh, I... I'm so sorry.

I-I didn't know.

She wasn't also in the...

CIA? No. Photojournalist.

Oh, badass. So you guys were close?

Yeah, very.

It was the two of us for so long.

She knew me better than anyone.

How 'bout the senator?

Are you guys close?

Let's just say it's complicated.

But she is in town this week.

Visiting her daughter. That's nice.

That would be nice.

No, she's sponsoring a big climate bill,

so she's here to speak at a summit.

I'm just an afterthought.

After is better than none.

Mm, not always.

She wants to come here
to see what I do all day.

I think she just wants
a photo op with a cop.

- Mm. I'm happy to oblige.
- No.

No way. You're not going
anywhere near my mother.

Mothers love me.

Everyone likes you, Cole.

You're very likeable.

What are you doing?

Oh, I was just, I was reaching
for the pad kee mao.

It's right behind you.

Cole, you were leaning in.

No. I wasn't.

I know a lean-in when I see one.
That was a lean-in.

Erica, I promise you.
I was reaching for the...

Pad kee mao, you said.
Uh, this is wildly off-topic.

It's important for context.

So what happened

- next?
- Nothing.

She pretended to get a phone
call and then she left the room.

Right, but between us,

you're just playing it cool

'cause you got rejected, but...

I wasn't rejected
because I wasn't leaning in.

The case. You said this
was about the case.

I was getting to that.
Geez, relax, buddy.

You'll live longer.

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

Hey, Bailey. What do we got?

Victim's a John Doe. No ID.

Car reported stolen two days ago.

Is that cocaine on the dash?

Yeah, sure is.

- Looks like he had a hell of a night.
- That's not all, though. Look.

Holy Christmas! His pants are fully down.

- Really didn't need to look.
- I'm talking about

the stiletto in the passenger seat.

Yeah, that's not
what caught my eye. Okay.

So John Doe goes partying, crashes,

lady friend takes off.

But the car's barely damaged.

My thoughts exactly.

The airbags didn't even deploy.

This dude was dead before the crash.

I'm thinking Cinderella took him out.

Boom. Already got a suspect.

Hate to say it, guys, but without Roger,

- we're moving like lightning.
- Ah, it won't last.

I'll give him 24 hours before he
gets bored with his vacation.

But he was so excited.
All that stuff about sipping

- from a coconut.
- It was all talk.

He doesn't know how to take time
off. Last year he worked

- through a family trip in Hawaii.
- It's true.

I got an e-mail from him
at midnight on New Year's Eve.

And he once called me
from a massage table.

Wow. That is...

Not as bad as it seems.

My masseuse has a very light touch.

COLE: Well, if you knew
how to take time off,

- you wouldn't be here.
- I love

vacation. Wh-Why does everybody

- think I don't?
- Who's everybody?

Baby, all I'm saying is

taking time off isn't your forte.

You tend to gravitate toward stress.

That's Detective Murtaugh's stress.

Right now I'm Mr. Chillaxamoto.

Hey, Dad, RJ knows a great
way to reduce stress.

- Really?
- Tell him.

Do I look like the kind of guy

who cannot relax?

(CHUCKLES)

Look at me. Right now I have it
made in the shade. (LAUGHS)

Just promise me you won't let
work intrude on our vacation.

Sweetheart, for the next three days,

the only mystery I'm interested in

- is by Mr. Thomas Clancy.
- (CHUCKLES) Okay.

Is that rum?

You know you can't have rum.

Wait, why can't Mom have rum?

It's fine, honey.

- Relax. It's not rum.
- Okay, okay.

Okay. Wow. One little adjustment.

Oh, my gosh. Roger, sit down.

But my extremities
are exposed to the sun.

I can't relax if I'm getting skin cancer.

Be-be careful, that thing's heavy.

And you guys say that I can't relax?

Roger, sit down.

I'm simply going to slide
my chair into the sh...

Aah!

TRISH: Roger!

- Ooh!
- Roger, oh, my gosh.

Oh, my goodness. Is it your back?

It hurts.

Okay, I-I-I'm sorry.

You two are responsible
for millions in damages,

dozens of lives in danger,

and multiple breaches
of national security.

How is any of this relevant?

Well, this is just the beginning.

COLE: Anybody else hungry?

Maybe we should get some menus.

- (GROANING)
- Hold on.

Don't worry. All right, slow.

Slow. Roger, slow.

Use your muscles. Use
your stomach muscles.

- MURTAUGH: Stomach?
- TRISH: There you go.

- Oh... all right, all right.
- (GROANING)

- I can't believe you threw your back out
- Come on, baby.

30 seconds into vacation.

(GROANING) Gentle, gentle.

Does this mean that we can go home?

No, it doesn't.

Okay, the resort doctor said
that as long as your father

rests today and takes
his muscle relaxers,

that he'll be fine tomorrow,

so plenty of vacation time left, okay?

- (PHONE BEEPING)
- Oh!

Oh, sh**t, paddle boarding in 15 minutes.

But, you know, we don't have to go.

No, no, no, no. Go.

- Okay, thanks, Dad. See you. Bye.
- Okay, feel better, Pops.

Okay...

They're gonna put us
in a home, aren't they?

Big time. (CHUCKLES)

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- You okay?

How c... how can I be Mr. Chill

if I'm stuck in a room?

Mm, read your book.

Huh? And...

learn how to use your camera,

and enjoy the view, honey.

Of a courtyard.
Wait, where-where you going

in that outfit?

Guess what, you get that back together,

and I'll take it off for you.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Let's see.

How hard can this thing be to use?

Mm.

Crystal clear. (CHUCKLES)

(GROANS)

Let's see.

MURTAUGH: Oh!

Must be newlyweds. (CHUCKLES)

Can't wait another second, huh?

I respect you, sir.

What else do we got here?

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

BAILEY: You're free to go.

- Thanks for coming in.
- Looks like my mother

picked an interesting day to visit.

Yeah, sorry. They're witnesses
on the John Doe case.

The senator's really here?

ERICA: Yeah. She asked me to find her

loose-leaf jasmine tea,
in a police station.

Check Avery's desk, bottom drawer.

- (CHUCKLES)
- You didn't hear that from me, though.

Thank you. Whatever they're
paying you, it's not enough.

Are we having a party?

- Funny.
- What do you got?

Our John Doe's GPS indicates
the last place he visited

was on Santa Monica and Highland.

Solicitation central.
John Doe was with a pro.

And she might've k*lled him.

The cocaine found on the dash
tested positive for ricin.

Ricin? Any of these ladies
see anything suspicious?

One of them saw a girl

who was on the corner
in a bright pink wig.

Well, I'll help question the rest.

- Go twice as fast.
- Okay.

Well, there's some call girls
in the other room,

if you want to take a run at it. Hello?

Good morning.

I just want to start by saying

that this is a judgment-free zone.

I have absolutely no problem
with what you do.

Oh, uh, thank you.

- And you are?
- I'm one of the detectives here.

Now, I don't want to take up
too much of your time.

I know how hard you work out there

all day, pounding the pavement.

It can be a challenging profession.

Everybody's got to make a buck.

Actually, most of us
aren't in it for the money.

It's more of a calling.

That must be why
they call you call girls.

I'm sorry, what?

That's not the preferred term?

I'm just as happy
to call you a prost*tute.

ERICA: Cole!

What are you doing to my mother?

Your mother. The senator?

- Not a...
- prost*tute. No.

You want to tell me why you'd assume

my mother was a prost*tute?

Not really. It's possible
that I got the wrong room.

So this is Detective Cole.

Mom, can you give us a minute?

Of course. If you need me,

I'll be outside,

rethinking my entire wardrobe.

Sorry, Senator.

(WHISPERING): Moms usually love me.

This is about the lean-in, isn't it?

You're trying to get back at me.

I wasn't trying to get back at you,

because I wasn't leaning in.

Fine, Cole. Whatever you say.

I just want to forget this happened

and go back to being
professional colleagues.

Can we do that?

Of course. That's what I want, too.

Good.

MURTAUGH: So you were lying.

No, I meant it.

Erica and I are just co-workers.

My God, will one of you please
get to the point?

Well, I guess not everybody appreciates

the nuances of character development.

Murtaugh, what happened next?

I assume you didn't spend all
day spying on hotel guests.

Well...

♪ She the devil, yeah ♪

♪ Like that, like that, uh ♪

♪ She the devil, yeah ♪

♪ Dressed like that ♪

♪ Aw-aw, yeah... ♪

MURTAUGH (LAUGHING): Hey, hey.

Give you this much, buddy,
you've got confidence.

You shouldn't, but you do.

Oh!

Ow.

♪ Two balls and the batter
like to hit a home run ♪

♪ Slidin' up to girls
like it's home base ♪

♪ Lookin' so sweet ♪

- ♪ Yo, I got to get a taste ♪
- (GROANS)

♪ Lockin' up lips
like we both got braces ♪

♪ Lookin' to poker
with a pocket full of aces... ♪

Let's check on the newlyweds.

Well, still at it.

♪ Oh, yeah, put 'em up
like you don't care... ♪

Oh, now that's a family. Look at that.

Happy together.

I bet they would never abandon
their crippled father.

- ♪ Shake your derriere, shake it ♪
- ♪ Yeah, we in there ♪

♪ Shake your derriere, shake
your derriere, shake it... ♪

What did we order for lunch today?

(SHUTTER CLICKING RAPIDLY)

(MUFFLED g*nsh*t)

(DIALING)

Hello?

Bailey, we have a situation
at the Malibu Winds Resort.

Send everyone.

Told you. That man doesn't know
how to take a vacation.

Gentlemen, it's my understanding

that after what you saw in room 437,

you asked a detective from RHD
to investigate.

And what did she find?

You know what she found.

BAILEY: Nothing.

No evidence of any altercation.

That's impossible.

I know what I saw.

You saw a family getting lunch.

Grace and Stuart Stevenson,

from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Their kids,

Jimmy and Kelly, all
present and accounted for.

What about the muzzle flash?

It could have been light
reflecting from the tray.

I saw them raise their hands and back up.

To avoid a juice spill.

- I checked the stain myself.
- No.

No. I know what I saw.

How many of these pills
have you been taking?

'Cause you know it screws you up, right?

Hey, it is not in my head.

I-I sent you photos.

These photos?

I'm still getting used to the camera.

Mm, clearly.

Trish, you believe me, right?

I wish I could.

Look, if something is going down,

- Capitol Police will find it
- Capitol Police?

They're like the Secret Service
for senators.

They're here prepping for
Senator Malick's climate summit

- tomorrow.
- A climate summit.

That can't be a coincidence.

That's what this is all about.

How?

I don't know yet.

Okay, okay. Thank you, Bailey.

My husband needs a little rest.

Trish, there's something
fishy going on here.

I agree. You promised that you would
take time off from work,

and on the first day of vacation,

you stumble onto a case.

What, do you think
I'm making this all up?

(CHUCKLES): Oh, gosh,

I think you need to stop
mixing Tom Clancy

with muscle relaxers.

So, I am going to go snorkeling
with our kids,

and you are gonna let this go.

Okay? Mwah.

Let it go.

That's not a snorkeling outfit.

It's in my bag. (LAUGHS)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

What the hell you looking at?

But you didn't let it go,

despite having no evidence of wrongdoing.

Oh, there was evidence.

Now he's gonna tell you
about Tonga Ted's.

It's not evidence, Roger.

Men have been convicted for less.

They definitely haven't.

All right, I'll bite.

Tell me about Tonga Ted's.

It's the restaurant downstairs.
I called the maître d'.

The Stevensons had
a lunch reservation an hour ago,

and they never showed up.

Who comes to a four-star resort

and doesn't leave the room?

Someone who lost a fight to a pool chair.

- (SIZZLING)
- Oh, crap.

Listen, here's what I think:

someone infiltrated the family.

They're impersonating the father,

and they're forcing the others
to play along.

Why would someone infiltrate
a family from Iowa?

I don't know.

But I bet there's evidence in that room.

I need to get the family out

so I can get in there and look.

(SMOKE ALARM WAILING)

Wh-What's going on over there?

Nothing. Just, uh, b*rned
a burrito in the toaster oven.

Not a big deal. Set off the alarm.

Fire alarm.

(GROANS)

(ALARM WAILING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(GROANS)

(EXHALES) Nothing.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

(g*n COCKS)

- Who the hell are you?
- Capitol Police.

You're under arrest. Get him up.

Wait, wait, no, wait.

Roger, the fire alarm. We came back to...

Roger. Where's your father?

Where's Dad?

(ALARM CONTINUES WAILING)

I-I think I found him.

What?

Aah! Oh...

- And now you're here.
- Yeah.

With a slipped disc, probably.

You can thank your
storm troopers for that.

Which leaves you, Cole.

Care to explain how a John Doe case

led to a thr*at on the senator's life?

You say thr*at, I say a funny story.

Actually, it started right before

Roger called about Tonga Ted's.

Burrito time. What's up, Bailey?

Turns out one of our call girls
knew our John Doe.

He was a regular. d*ck Murphy.

Defense contractor at Northrop.

So d*ck had access to weapons
and m*llitary secrets.

Could be why he got k*lled.

- I'll head over there now.
- Five minutes?

- That's way too long.
- Thanks, Bailey.

But I've been heating up
burritos my whole life.

BARRETT: I know the rest.

What happened at Northrop?

When I got there, I found out
that somebody had swiped in

using dead d*ck's security badge.

The guy was still there when I arrived.

Hey, d*ck, is that you?

I thought you were dead.
You look fantastic.

The SR60 Advanced-Combat Humvee.

Fortitude of a t*nk,
horsepower of a Mustang.

Now, of course, this is just a prototype.

We're still working out the
kinks with the braking...

COLE: Stop! Police!

Down!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(PHONE RINGS)

MALICK: Let's keep this
Northrop Davis visit brief.

I want to get back to the
hotel to work on my speech.

Copy that. Ma'am, someone
pulled the hotel fire alarm

and broke into a room.

He's in custody, but we may need to find

a new location for the summit.

No. The optics would be a disaster.

I want you to talk
to this guy personally.

Find out what he's up to.

Yes, ma'am.

Look out!

- Out of the car!
- Out of the vehicle!

Hands where I can see them.

AGENT: Cover the driver's side,
he's coming out.

AGENT 2: Don't move!

Detective Cole.

I'm starting to think I may not
be making the best impression.

(DOOR OPENS)

BARRETT: Thank you for your
explanations, gentlemen.

They were... colorful.

COLE: Then can I go?

I got a date with a bad guy
on a stolen motorcycle.

BARRETT: I just got off with RHD.

They found the bike dumped
on an overpass in Tujunga.

Your story checks out.

What about my story?

Stevenson's an imposter, right?

Well, I ran a background check.

Stuart Stevenson owns a
chain of soup restaurants,

treasurer of his Elks Club.

- Former Eagle Scout.
- So he can tie a knot.

That doesn't make him any less dangerous.

I have men everywhere.

Metal detectors at every entrance.

No one's getting anywhere
near Senator Malick

without being vetted.

Wow. A lot of people must
really hate Erica's mom.

Her climate bill hasn't made her
any friends in the oil industry.

But I can assure you, the
chowder king of Cedar Rapids

isn't at the top of our list of concerns.

Yeah, well, maybe he ought
to be. Tell him, Cole.

Go ahead.

Tell him you believe me.

Well, Roger, I believe
you think you saw something,

but as far as facts go...

Facts? Here's a fact.

You're my partner.

You're supposed to have my back.

I want to, but there's
not even a sign of a crime.

I, on the other hand, have a
legitimate crime to solve.

A legitimate crime to solve?

(STAMMERS) Say that again.

- You and your Tom Clancy
- What's so different between...

- Tom Clancy is a great writer.
- Enough!

Cole, you're free to go.

But the senator's asked for a word.

Good, someone's in trouble.

- Real mature.
- Murtaugh,

my men will escort you to your room.

And if I see either of you again,

I will have you both
arrested for treason.

- That clear?
- Treason.

Who doesn't understand treason?

Dude, I can't believe
you still haven't told Mom.

What? I-I-I didn't have a window.

All she's done is complain about Dad.

Yeah, when she's not making
digs about me drinking.

She's been so intense.

Well, don't piss her off more.

I-I'm still looking
for the perfect moment.

I hear you. Thank you so much.

Yeah. Bye.

You believe this?

Four hours, and they are still
holding your father.

He just couldn't let it go.

And now he's gonna be on his back

for the rest of the vacation.

Well, if Dad's out of commission,

then why don't we just go home?

Riana, you're the one who chose
to drink hard lemonade, not me.

So I don't want to hear your attitude.

- My attitude?
- ROGER JR.: Oh, uh,

what about pot stickers
for the, for the table?

- Who's in?
- You've been crazy this whole trip.

And you're so worried

we're not having fun
that we haven't had any.

First of all, that's not true.

Mm.

I-Is it true?

Oh, my God.

You're right.

I just wanted to make memories
with our family,

and now I've screwed it up.

Mom, I'm just saying that
you could loosen up a bit.

WAITRESS: Drinks for the table.

- Here we are.
- Thank you.

Oh. Excuse me, I didn't order this.

It-it has rum.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'll grab you a new one.

Okay, no, you know what? (CHUCKLES)

Second thought, leave the drink.
(LAUGHS) Thank you.

So, why don't we just, um...?
To vacation.

- All right.
- All right, let's, let's loosen up.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

Detective, thank you for taking the time

after such an eventful day.

I would apologize, but
I wouldn't know where to start.

Well, that's not necessary.

From what I gather, you're no stranger

to eventful days.

My service record.

You pulled it. I was curious about

the man who's so taken with my daughter.

If this is about the lean-in,
let me explain it.

There was some pad kee mao...

Your résumé is impressive.

From what I can read of it.

Most of your file is redacted.

I'm curious, where were you
from 2007 to 2009?

Nowhere I can talk about.

Got it.

And what, exactly, were you
doing in Busan?

Officially? Backpacking.

And Somalia,

Karachi...

Tbilisi?

Something tells me
you already know the answer.

You chose a noble path, Cole.

But I don't need to know
what's under these black marks

to know the baggage that comes with them.

With all due respect, Senator,
you don't even know me.

Neither does she.

And if this file is any indication,

she never will.

So, what do you want me to do?

You have a daughter, don't you?

If someone like you came into her life,

what would you want him to do?

(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Erica.

Were you waiting for me?

What? No. What?

I was just finishing
some important depositions

on the, um...

Yeah, okay, I was waiting for you.

Oh. Okay. Why?

Cole, there are 938 deputy D.A.s in L.A.,

so don't you think
it's a little strange that

I keep working cases with you?

Maybe we're just lucky.

Cole, I pick my cases.

Okay.

Why are you telling me this?

Because I screwed up.

- When you leaned in, I panicked...
- It wasn't a lean-in.

Just shut up.

I pulled back because I was scared.

I don't date at work. I don't date cops.

But all I wanted was
for you to make a move.

But you don't even really know me.

I want to learn.

Like, what if I were

to just lean in right now and

ki...

Oh, I... okay.

- Listen, it's not you.
- Oh, uh...

No, uh, that's... that-that's fine.

- It's okay, it's good.
- Erica.

- Erica.
- This is humiliating,

so I'm gonna leave now,

and we're never gonna talk
about this again.

(SIGHS)

(CAMERA WHIRS)

(SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh...

Good morning.

(WEAKLY): It's not a good morning.

(COUGHS)

Oh, my God, last night did I...?

Yes. The kids told me everything.

Gosh. The kids?

All right, what time is it, Roger?

The zip line is at 8:45.

They already left.

Zip-lining seemed like a bad idea

for you and everyone below you.

Oh, my God, baby, my brain is on fire.

I told you about the rum.

See, the lesson is:
always trust your husband.

(CHUCKLES)

Roger,

what are you doing with that camera?

(LAUGHS) Nothing.

You're still drunk. Go back to sleep.

Tell me you're not still
watching that family, Roger.

Of course I'm not.

I'm-I'm watching the honeymooners.

You know they still haven't
come up for air yet.

Reminds me of us.

You see, you are unbelievable.

You got arrested

and you still haven't let it go.

Because that kid over there needs me.

He told me. Really? He told you?

Yes, with his finger.

Roger... no more pills.

No more spying.

You have got to stop this right...

Oh, my God, not again. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Okay, well, you're gonna
probably want your privacy.

- (RETCHING)
- I'm just gonna

go out and get you some ginger ale.

And some mouthwash.

(RETCHING CONTINUES)

The sole fingerprint left
by the intruder at Northrop.

Guess what, I got a hit.

I thought there were no matches.

In the LAPD database maybe.

But I cross-checked
with customs records, and...

Meet Adrian Sokolov.

Former FSB agent. Filed a work visa

through Russia's state-owned oil company.

Good work, but we still need to find

the call girl in the pink wig.

Way ahead of you.

Okay, or he had an accomplice.

Either one's a possibility, really.

Is that your new girlfriend?

No, unless you're jealous.

I'm not.

So I think I know why our
suspect broke into Northrop.

Our dead guy d*ck was working
on a prototype

for a 3-D-printed plastic g*n,
and now it's missing.

SCORSESE: So the former FSB agent's

trying to sneak g*ns into
a place that doesn't allow g*ns?

Right, to evade metal detectors.

Could be sneaking onto
a plane, in a courtroom...

No. It's a hotel.

(PHONE RINGING)

What do you want?

I need your help.

You mean, have your back?

No can do. I'm on vacation.

Roger, you were right.

Say that again.

I'm pretty sure
that a Russian oil company

is trying to take out Senator
Malick at today's summit.

Guess who's got front row seats.

Stuart Stevenson.

I know. He's picking up
his security badge.

I'm thinking somebody's
holding his family hostage,

trying to use Stuart to get access.

I knew it.

I mean, nobody believed me.

This is what I was saying all along.

Roger,

you can gloat later, I promise.

I'm on my way, but right now
we got to stop Stuart.

- I'm on it.
- (PHONE BEEPS)

WOMAN: Just sign in here...

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

- (g*n COCKS)
- Don't move.

You're the guy who's been watching us.

You called the police.

I am the police. You're under arrest.

No, you got to let me go, please.

I appreciate the please, but no.

You don't understand.
They've got my wife.

They're gonna k*ll her.

Well, if they have your wife,

then who's that woman in the room?

STUART: I got invited to the summit

as a donor to the senator.

So we decided to make it
a family vacation.

But when we got here,
these bellhops showed up,

man and a woman.

- And the g*nsh*t?
- A warning.

Then the man took my wife Grace.

Said if we didn't go along,
they'd k*ll her.

Now I'm supposed to pretend

that woman, Eve, is my wife,
get her into the summit.

MURTAUGH: I bet she's gonna take a sh*t

during the senator's speech,
make a statement.

- We got to stop the speech.
- You can't.

They'll k*ll Grace.

COLE: Then we have to find her first.

Any idea where they took her?

Close by. When he left to check on her,

he was back in ten minutes.

Then she's still here.

Somewhere no employee would ever go.

Like a honeymoon suite
with the curtains drawn

for two days?

No one has stamina like that.

Okay, check it out. Mr. Stevenson,

go back to your room,
pretend everything's normal.

And what are you gonna do?

Excuse me. Excuse me.

(METAL DETECTOR BEEPING)

- Sir, you need a security pass.
- LAPD.

I have intel on a credible
thr*at to the senator.

We can't move until a hostage
is safe, but...

I got a LAPD officer here.

- Says there's a...
- Wow, really?

You Detective Cole or Murtaugh?

Cole. Is that Barrett? He knows me.

It's Cole. Should I hold him?

We'll handle this, sir. Wait here.

LAPD. Anyone in here?

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

You're okay.

- I'm here to save you.
- (MUFFLED SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(BACK CRACKS)

My back. You fixed it!

You, sir, are a miracle worker.

Let's get you out of here.

MAN: Senator Malick, this way, please.

WOMAN: Senator Malick, over here.

Detective. He's on the move.

- MAN 2: Senator, will you support...?
- Excuse me.

Senator.

Cole, what are you doing here?

Stand down, Detective, we've got
the situation under control.

Two former FSB agents
working for Russian oil

have infiltrated the hotel.

An imposter's here
to try to take you out.

I don't understand.

Cole, what are you talking about?

She's going by the name Grace Stevenson.

If you walk through that door,
she's gonna k*ll you.

Barrett, is there any legitimacy
to this thr*at?

No, nothing this man says is legitimate.

Good. Keep your men on alert.
I'm not letting this fall apart

- for nothing.
- No, Senator, you're making a mistake.

Sorry about this, guys.

(GRUNTING)

Sorry, Senator. You're coming with me.

- What?
- Cole,

are you seriously kidnapping
my mother right now?

Technically, yes.

Hey! Hey, hold it right there!

I can't believe that this is happening.

This is insane. You're insane.

- No one believed me.
- What choice did I have?

You could not kidnap a senator.

Detective, never in my life...

Sorry to interrupt you, Senator,
but when these doors open,

somebody may be there to arrest me

or sh**t me. Either way, Erica,

you may never want to talk to me again,

so this is my last chance.
There's a few things

that I want you to know.

I was in the CIA,
did a lot that I'm proud of,

and a lot that I'm not.

I have a daughter that I love

more than anything in the world,

an ex that I have some history with.

Let's see, what else?

Sometimes I snore.

I always leave my door
unlocked accidentally.

Never been in a real
long-term relationship.

And I hate mushrooms on pizza.

Why are you telling me all of this?

I don't know. Guess I'm leaning in.

- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
- Hands up now.

Senator, come with me.

(g*nsh*t)

Move,

or I sh**t through you.

Get out of here! Go!

Go!

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(g*nsh*t)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

I'll just take the next one.

I should get going.

Barrett gets pissy
when we're behind schedule.

Honestly, not our worst visit.

Far from it. And you really
dodged a b*llet with that Cole.

Yeah, he's a lunatic.

What was all that stuff about
in the elevator?

Oh, that was probably for my benefit.

When I spoke with him... Wait.

- You spoke with him?
- Only on your behalf.

I know his type. He's not for us.

Mom, that's a total violation.

You are my daughter,
and you should be thanking me.

He is troubled,

- reckless...
- He saved your life.

And I think he was going
for a big gesture.

Oh, please.

That may work on other girls,

but my daughter is far too sensible

to throw her life away on a gesture.

Now walk me to my car.

Okay.

I-I can't believe they kicked us
out of the hotel a day early.

Well, apparently your mother

made quite the impression last night.

- Okay.
- (LUGGAGE SLAMS)

Oh, my gosh, please, my skull.

I'm sorry.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(CHUCKLES) Roger.

But, Dad, you saved a senator's life.

Yeah, you're like
a real-life Tom Clancy hero.

Yeah, well, you're right, son,

but, uh, it seems the manager
cares less about that

and more about his carpets.

TRISH: Okay, listen.

I just wanted to make memories
with my kids

before they leave me forever.

Is that too much to ask for?

Mom, if last night is any proof,

we're never gonna stop making
memories on family vacations.

ROGER JR.: I mean, yeah, you still

have to plan 'em. We're hopeless.

You're just saying that.

No, like, I-I can, I can barely,
uh, do my laundry, actually.

Yes, I've seen the
skid marks to prove it.

Wow, you gonna, you gonna
bust me out like that?

(LAUGHING): Come here.

I love my hopeless kids. I really do.

You know what, it's a shame
that we're finally excited

about vacation, and it's over.

Yeah, well, it doesn't have to be.

Baby, we've got nowhere to go.

Oh, maybe this, uh, hero

could save the day once again.

("HEAVY" BY BIRDTALKER PLAYING)

Pool side service.

Is no paddleboarding but I'll take it.

Thank you for letting
us, crash your pool.

We are partners Roger. Partners have
each other backs.

Yeah. Just like you should've
had mine at the hotel.

Because, I was right.

Yeah, like that is never get old.

You said I could gloat.
I'm going to milk it.

Hey, you better get that.

And if you need me, I got your back.

Just like you should've
had mine, but you didn't.

Yeah.

Erika. Hey

Do you have the incident
report from the hotel?

I need it to complete the case file

Oh, so that is why you're calling.

Why else I would be calling?

In the past two days you
callled my mom a prost*tute,

kidnaped her, ran her over,

and confessed some intimate,
confusing details.

Any sensible person would
run the other way.

So, I don't know why I'm here

Breaking and entering.

I could arrest you for that.

No. Some idiot in the elevator

told me he forgets to lock his door.

Hmm. So this isn't a bussines visit?

Mm-mm.

Good. Then, for the record...

use this as a lean-in.

Hey, Dad. I was waiting for
the perfect moment to tell you,

but I met some growers in Costa Rica,

uh, we want to go into bussines.

All right? You know,
actually we-we have a plan.

- He is opening a pot shop.
- A what?

No wait. Hold on. I wa...

I was waiting for the
perfect moment to tell him.

You weren't supposed to say anything.

Roger.

(ROGER SCREAMS)

- Who was that?
- I don't know.

I'm gonna close the curtain, though.

Who knows who might be watching?

Is that camera still on?

No, I think he turned it off.
Man that guy sucks.

I know, Capitol Police?

- Was the Forest Service not hiring?
- Right?

(DEEP VOICE): "My name is Barret.

I wear a black suit, so
people take me seriously"

"My tie is too long"

"Yeah, and my face always looks
like I smelled a fart."

"Yeah I am Taye Diggs' sexy grandfather."

(BOTH LAUGHING)

MURTAUGH: You got to say
it with the sexy voice.

It is all.