05x14 - Black History Month

[bunniefuu]

For the month of February,

America celebrates Black History Month

with low interest rates
and no overdraft fees.

Companies run ads dedicated to us.

It's great while it lasts,

but come the end of February,
it is over.

How was school?

A squirrel got into the gym,
so I'd say pretty good.

Mm.

Baby girl. What are you doing?

Oh, well, Black History Month
is pretty much over,

so Ms. Davis sent all our projects home.

See you next year, Harriet.

What the hell?!

Hey!

You cannot toss Harriet Tubman
in the trash!

Why not?

Damn it, Jack! What are you doing?!

Dad... Dad, it's fine!

It's not Harriet Tubman.
It's Frederick Douglass.

I believe what your dad is trying to say

is that you shouldn't be
throwing these away at all.

Ohhh! I get it.

So... So we can use them next year

when we do the same reports again.

That's why you're the dad.

What do you mean, the same reports?

Does everyone just do

Frederick Douglass
and Harriet Tubman every year?

Yeah. Well, mostly everyone.

Joshua Miller was supposed to do
George Washington Carver,

but he has a horrible peanut allergy,

so he switched back to Harriet.

Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh-mnh.

Can you believe this?

No, I can't.

Joshua Miller... he gets
so much special treatment.

Drives me nuts.

No! I mean, this is
the same sort of crap

they did when I went to school.

The reason I went to Howard University

was to get the full picture
of Black history.

I get it.

You know, I hoped that 30 years
would've made a difference,

but, babe, our children are getting

the same surface education.

I know. I know.

It is... frustrating.

But, Dre, I mean...

...Black History Month is almost over.

There's only two more days.
What are you gonna do?

You gonna go down there
and make a scene?

Aah!

Davis!

Mr. Johnson.

You are supposed to email me
before you come in.

We had a deal.

Yeah, and I thought we had a deal...

I pay you, you educate my children.

But after hearing about
your Black History Month lesson,

you owe me a lot of change.

I tried so hard this year.

We studied Harriet Tubman, Dr. King,

Frederick Douglass,
and George Washington Carver.

But you didn't have to stop there.

All right, there are a million people

that you could have kept talking about.

Hell, if you had just picked one person

that Chadwick Boseman played,

I would not be yelling at you,
despite our agreement...

which I never signed, by the way.

Well, tomorrow is

our "Farewell to
Black History Month" assembly.

Now, I was going to show
the PG parts of "Get Out,"

but, hey, since you know so much
about this stuff,

maybe you could come in
and teach the students

about one more Black person
they should know.

Ohhh, would you like me
to do that for you?

I'd be so relieved

if you took it off my plate.

No!

Do your job, Davis!

Mr. Johnson.

You're supposed to email
before you come.

We had a deal.

Which I never signed.

But I was just leaving.

W... Maybe you could
point me in the direction

of a good Black person?

Okay, let's unpack what you just said.

What?

You did a racism.

Again?

Uh-oh.

Okay, Dre, what's wrong?

My kids' teacher asked me to choose

a new person to talk about
for Black History Month.

Once again, the Black man
has to educate White people.

Tell me about it.

Most of them don't even know

that Harriet Tubman invented the tub.

That's why most Home Depot employees

look so confused when you ask
to see the Harriets.

Know what I'm talking about?

You know what I'm talking about, right?

- No.
- No.

- No, I don't.
- No.

You know what?

So, I told her,
"No. It's your job, not mine."

Good choice, Dre.

Besides, the only thing you need to know

about Black History Month
are the top four, right?

Tubman, Carver, King, Sinbad.

Sinbad's not on that list.

Well, he should be, okay?

'Cause he would lighten it up. Huh?

You ever heard his routine
about riding the bus?

It's hysterical.

Mr. Stevens has a point.

Black History Month is kind of a bummer.

It's all sl*very

and people getting blasted
by fire hoses.

Which is actually why
we gave you the shortest month.

Nobody "gave" us the shortest month.

In the 1920s, a Black historian
by the name of Carter G. Woodson

chose February because it coincided

with Abraham Lincoln and
Frederick Douglass' birthday.

The original focus
of Black History Month

was not sl*very
or civil rights, all right?

It was created to illustrate our
contribution to American life

and celebrate Black excellence.

Well, hearing that
actually kind of makes me want

to know more about Black history.

Like double-dutch.

What is the deal with that?

Counterpoint...
most people don't want to learn

more than they have to, right?

I mean, let's be honest.

You're lucky I know about the top four.

And, yes, I'm keeping Sinbad in there.

He's a genius.

I just seen him recently, too.

- Sinbad?
- At the dollar store.

Ballin'.

Listening to all the ignorance
in the room,

I realized it was my job
to educate that school.

No one else was going to
dig below the surface

to bring Black history to life.

No more candy machines.

Finally, you're back.

Hey, Junior, Mom, come on in here!

Gather 'round!

I got something that is going to
blow your minds!

Oh, my God.

Yep, come on.

I've been poring over books
and the Internet all day,

and I have come up with
the perfect person

to present to Valley Glen tomorrow.

It's going to be...

Drumroll, please.

Ah!

...Lewis Latimer!

Isn't he a free safety for the Eagles?

No!

Okay, you know what?

I'm gonna tell you all about
Lewis Howard Latimer.

Lewis Howard Latimer was born in 1848,

the child of runaway slaves.

He earned multiple patents,

including one for the carbon filament

which paved the way
for our modern lightbulb.

And that's a Black person
you should know.

Wait a minute. So...

you're coming in with a lightbulb guy

who d*ed a hundred years ago?

- Pass.
- But he's an inspiration.

To who?

- Okay, okay, okay, guys.
- "To who"?!

Your dad obviously worked
very hard on this,

and he's excited.

- Thank you, Bow.
- Mm-hmm.

Look, I researched this all day,

and I am confident that I have...

But I think that if we all
put our heads together,

we could come up with someone amazing.

Mae Jemison!

W.E.B. Du Bois.

Aretha!

Ahh, Ta-Nehisi Coates.

- Chance the Rapper!
- Beyoncé.

- Jackie Robinson.
- Spike Lee.

- Alvin Ailey.
- Mahalia Jackson.

- Serena and Venus.
- Black Panther!

But I've already picked my guy!

You know who would be really good?

- Who?
- James Baldwin.

- That's really good.
- Yeah!

Or... Or Jay-Z or Kendrick Lamar...

Okay, okay, no!

Stop naming names!

You know what?

I am calling a family meeting!

Um... we are all here already.

But no one is listening to me.

I have one sh*t tomorrow
to prove to that school

that we are more than those stock images

that they see once a year,

by introducing them
to an unsung Black hero...

Lewis Howard Latimer!

Why can't you take a look at
people who are making an impact

on Black life and culture right now?

Yes. Ooh. I have someone
super exciting to pitch you.

Don't say "LeBron."

Okay.

It's LeBron.

LeBron James is the greatest
basketball player of all time,

with three NBA titles, four MVPs,

and fourteen trips to the All-Star game.

He's even more amazing off the court...

raising money for charity,
standing up to bigots,

and opening a public school
for struggling kids.

And that's a Black person
you should know.

Seriously, he's good people.

I mean, your guy Latimer's okay,

but he was never down 3-1
to the Warriors.

Down 3-1?!

Son, Latimer fought in the Civil w*r!

The South was easier to b*at
than the Warriors.

Look, LeBron is LeBron,

but Black History Month is about
teaching the classics

so that White people
can eat peanut butter

and say, "Thank you, Black man."

"Thank you, Black man."

- I actually have a suggestion.
- What is it?

Don't embarrass us
in front of our whole school!

Embarrass you how?

Come on!

Diane!

We get to shine the light
on Black political pioneers.

Like Shirley Chisholm.

Or Black sexiness pioneers,
like Denzel Washington.

Oh, my God.

No, Mama, I've done my research.

- "Research."
- Yes.

So you've researched
400 years of Black excellence,

and you came up with a man?

That's shocking.

- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.

Did you look at DeRay Mckesson?

Of course... I looked at...
DeR... DeRay Mckesson.

DeRay Mckesson.

DeRay Mckesson...

And that's a Black person
you should know?

Oh, God.

- Oh, my God.
- What's wrong, baby?

Ain't nothing wrong with him.

Ooh, I got the bubble guts
out of nowhere.

You didn't even eat today!

Yes, I did!

Dre...

I got you now, DeRay.

I...

Are you watching TV?

Uh, no, no, baby.

That was just my stomach.

Uhh... a-a little mystery, Bow!

Dre, you're...

Open the door.

Open... Open... Open the door, please!

Seriously, Dre?

Did you come up here
to look up DeRay Mckesson?

You can't even tell Junior

he came up with someone you didn't know?

No, I cannot.

I hate it when the kids
know more than I do.

So you go downstairs
and you tell your son

that he needs to be more
respectful to his patriarch!

I will do no such thing!

You should listen.

Maybe you'll learn something.

Do you even know me?

You know what? You're right, Dre.

It's definitely more productive
for you to sit on a toilet

and watch videos of DeRay Mckesson

so that you can win an argument
with a child.

- Thank you.
- Mm.

While you're at it,
why don't you look up

Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi,
and Alicia Garza.

Couple women, huh?

Three of 'em. Mm-hmm.

My, uh...

My hands are kind of full
right now, Bow.

- Happy Black History Month.
- Yeah.

Power to the people.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How crazy is it

that every person
they came up with is a man?

Okay?

- Psht.
- Are you surprised?

No, look, I think they were all
really good suggestions,

but we all know

that the real unsung heroes
of Black history are women.

Got that right!

Like Joycelyn Elders.

Joycelyn Elders became the first
Black Surgeon General in 1993.

She used her position to talk about

sex education and drug addiction

in a way that cut through sound bites

and addressed people's real lives.

Okay, now.

And that's a Black person
you should know.

I thought you said "unsung."

Mm-hmm.

- Like me!
- Oh, my God.

Rubilene Johnson,
mother of Black America!

Okay.

Ruby, last week,

you wouldn't even let me
use your Costco card.

The mother of Black America

doesn't participate in fraud, Rainbow.

Okay.

That's right.

- Diane.
- Mm-hmm?

Who is your Black she-ro?

It's actually Miss Biggs.

Shirlette Biggs is
the first Black principal

of Valley Glen Prep.

When she talks, people listen.

And she has a contraband drawer
that's the stuff of legend.

We're talking fireworks,
explicit mixtapes,

even a shiv.

And that's a Black person
you should know.

Shivs at school.

Damn.

Aww, Diane.

That's cute, but no.

Oprah Winfrey is the first
Black female billionaire.

- Oh, yeah.
- But go ahead, pick your principal.

Okay.

Just forget I said anything.

What?

- Diane.
- Oh. That's Devante.

I'm gonna go check on him.

I'm coming, baby.

Ha-ha!

So, you don't think I know anything

about DeRay... Mckesson?

DeRay Mckesson.

He's a young activist on the front lines

of the current fight for civil rights,

advocating for fairer policing
practices on the streets

and fairer sentencing practices
in America's courts.

And that's a Black person
you should know.

Boom.

What do you say?

I mean, I feel like
he could be pretty inspiring

for the kids at school.

Eh, he's interesting. I give you that.

But his history
has not been written yet.

All right, let's give him
his due when he's accomplished

everything that
he's going to accomplish.

That's exactly what I've been saying.

You know who's accomplished a lot?

Harriet Tubman.

Harriet Tubm...

Stop it! All right?
Everybody knows about her.

You're not bringing anything
to this conversation.

I'm sorry. What was that?

He said you're not bringing
anything to the conversation.

Oh, I am so through with this.

Huh.

You know, we were in the kitchen

talking about some amazing women

you should be thinking about.

No, you were.

Okay, look, I will admit

not all of your suggestions
were terrible,

but I can only choose
one person to present tomorrow,

and that person is Latimer.

I'm the one with the degree
in this stuff.

I think I know what I'm talking about.

Do you?

'Cause I'm pretty sure
you just looked up

DeRay Mckesson in the bathroom.

You lie.

See, we're all just wasting our breath.

Dre's the one with the fancy degree.

Been telling us for 20 years
that he's Mr. Black History.

You can't even get on
the Black History Month poster

until he approves.

Hey, Pops, now you're
putting a lot on it.

Am I? If that's not the case,
what if I said...

Ben Carson?

Ben Carson.

Unh-unh. Nope.

Oh, you talking about the soul brother

who said slaves were
a bunch of Black immigrants

coming to America
looking for a better life?

The man performed the first
successful brain surgery

on a baby in the womb.

Matter of fact, I remember you said

the movie about him
was inspirational, Dre.

Cuba Gooding Jr. had me thinking
he was Ben Carson.

Ooh, can we put Cuba on the list?

Whoa, whoa.

So you're saying "Boat Trip"
is about Ben Carson?

Boy, we are not putting
Ben Carson on the list!

A man's life's work doesn't disappear

just because you disagree
with his politics.

The point I'm making is that

you are not the king
of all Black people, Dre.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, Dad, just admit it.

You have some blind spots.

I mean, we keep on giving you

all of these suggestions to help,

and you just keep sh**ting us
down for no good reason.

- Oh, I have reasons...
- Dre.

You should listen
to the kids' suggestions

before you make your final decision.

As if you're any better
at listening to us.

- What?
- Diane.

Forget it.

Just make it whoever you want.

I'll just sit through
the presentation, like usual.

This whole thing stinks.

You're supposed to be doing this
for our school,

but we don't get any say.

It's not a good look, Dre.

No, it's okay. Dre knows best.

When someone asks you
to talk about somebody,

pick whoever you want.

But in a few hours,
I am going to present

an inspirational, squeaky-clean dead guy

with major accomplishments
and no skeletons in his closet,

so no one can say he does not belong,

and that person is Lewis Howard Latimer!

That's it.

- Okay. Gosh.
- And you know what?

You guys don't deserve
Latimer's lightbulbs.

Wha... Ah!

Those are LED!

Brought you back a burger.

Your betrayal k*lled my appetite,

so I have to finish
my Latimer presentation.

I was just trying to help.

I didn't mean to get you all upset.

I did.

You were being an ass.

Really?

Maybe I was messing with you...

bring you down off your high horse...

but I don't like it when you talk to me

like I'm a know-nothing old man,

just like you didn't like it
when Junior knew more than you.

Cheating in the bathroom
is beneath you, big guy.

Instead of being mad,
you should be proud

that you raised kids that know so much

about Black history and culture
in all its forms.

Like you are of me?

I didn't say that.

I like it when you keep pushing
for the new kids on the block,

but I'm still gonna keep riding
for the classics.

See, I worry that if
they don't teach the classics

during Black History Month,
they'll just fade away.

Too many people look for excuses

to just forget
the hard parts of our story.

We have to keep reminding them.

I hear you, Pops.

And I just want to say

that I'm sorry
for being a jerk about Latimer.

You took all of the lightbulbs
out of our bedrooms.

I didn't realize it was gonna be
so much pressure.

You know, I saw this
as my chance to show the kids

a bigger picture of who we are,

but then I had to compress
all of our history

into just one more person.

A lot is riding
on me getting this right.

Wow.

Now I kind of feel bad

for eating most of your burger
on the way home.

Don't do that, son.

We got to take these moments
to kick him while he's down.

I'll be taking this.

Okay, we are so lucky
to have Mr. Johnson here

to tell us about
one more great Black American

before we close the book
on Black History Month

for another year.

Yes.

Thank you, Ms. Davis.

Um, I'm actually going to do,
uh, things a little differently.

We had a deal.

I told you he would do this.

Okay, hey, guys.

Um... I racked my brain

trying to find the one person
to tell you about today,

and that's how I came up with
Lewis Latimer...

inventor, child of slaves,
proud partner of Thomas Edison.

But the thing is, there is no one.

There are so many people to talk about,

and 28 days isn't long enough

to contain
their influence and greatness.

Just like the white heroes that
you learn about all year long,

you should be learning about
these Black heroes, too.

And not just Lewis Latimer.

Joycelyn Elders.

DeRay Mckesson.

And Aretha Franklin and Harriet Tubman

and LeBron.

Right?

And someone
sitting in this room right now.

You should also know artists

like Kehinde Wiley and Kara Walker.

Black Lives Matter founders

Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors,
and Opal Tometi.

Dr. Ben Carson...

but only for the surgery stuff.

Cannot forget about
my man Lonnie Johnson,

who created the Super Soaker.

Journalist Ida B. Wells.

Or civil rights icon Bayard Rustin.

Or medical pioneer Doctor McStuffins.

Black History Month
may be over on February 28th,

but that doesn't mean
we have to stop celebrating

the fullness of Black achievement.

We can celebrate it
every day of the year,

and we still won't get to all the people

who deserve to be included
in the conversation.

But that doesn't mean
I'm going to stop trying.

Andre Johnson... husband,
father, advertising visionary.

Growing up in Compton,
Johnson knew he would one day

climb to the heights of the ad game.

Along the way, married
a smoking-hot doctor wife

and had five children,

most of whom he likes.

He's a true American hero

and the owner of the dopest
shoe collection in Sherman Oaks.

And that's a Black person
you should know.

Is this the kind
of person we're doing now?

Just a dude with some shoes?

Cut!

Stupid.

If you could, uh...

If you could just read the
cue cards, that would be great.

You know, we paid a lot
to fly you out here.

It just seems weird.

I mean, of all the people
in the world to pick.

Read the lines, Octavia.

You know I have an Oscar, right?

So does Mo'Nique.

But she was unavailable.

We can roll.

Sound speed!

Rolling!

Andre Johnson...

husband, father, jackass.