06x03 - Feminisn't

[bunniefuu]

DRE: The 2016 election awakened
a sleeping giant.

Across America,
women mobilized to protest,

protect each other,

and elect more
female members of Congress.

Bow was one of the women
out there on the front lines...

marching, phone banking,
knocking on doors,

and she had her new activist
ride or die, Abby, by her side.

They were changing the world
one issue at a time.

- ♪ Girls ♪
- Ah!

- Yo, yo, yo, yo!
- Hello, hello.

You are never gonna believe
what Abby and I did!

- What?
- Sherman Oaks Women Making A Difference

met with Congressman Lopez
about repealing the pink tax.

And we were so convincing

that he is on board with our bill.

It was actually all because of you.

- Stop.
- Yes!

No, you're the one that brought it home.

- Okay, well, we're both amazing.
- We're both amazing.

I don't even know what a pink tax is,

but you guys seem happy, so I'm happy.

When they stop taxing
menstrual products,

it will be feminism: 1,
and patriarchy: 0.

Oh, so you scored feminism's
first point?

Good job.

Well, it wasn't... you know
what I... it wasn't the first...

- Babe.
- Yes?

- That was great.
- Thank you.

Dre, don't encourage her.

- What?
- The two of them feed off praise

like hyenas off a carcass.

Don't mind her. She's old.

Mm-hmm. Bye.

- Bye, sweetheart. That was so fun.
- Incredible!

- We did so good.
- So fun.

- See you guys.
- You did good!

Rainbow, you need to tell
these children the truth.

Feminism is for white women,

like your friend
who don't want to wear a bra.

Um, feminism is for everybody.

And that is why I raised strong,

opinionated, feminist children.

Mm, speak for yourself. I'm good.

- What?
- Come on, Rainbow.

You know I'm not a feminist.

N...

Huh?

♪♪

What do you mean you're not a feminist?

I don't know.

The word just doesn't work for me.

I've known I'm better than boys
since the day I was born.

- Yeah, she has. Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

And it seems like a lot
of people protesting

and going to these marches are
just doing it for the 'Gram.

- Hashtag activism is really a problem.
- Yeah.

- Mom.
- Me... For me?

♪♪

I am not doing this for the 'Gram.

And Abby and I are doing all
of this for the right reasons.

What's the right reason
to stop shaving your armpits?

Okay, listen.

Sweetheart, after the election,
I felt really helpless.

And then I met Abby
and found that women's group,

and all of them,
they felt the same way I did.

And then I was able to turn
my feelings into action.

Your feminism is cute, Rainbow, but see,

I want to live in a world
where a man orders for me.

It's how I discovered
shrimp scampi. Hey.

- Grandma, you're not getting it.
- DRE: Careful.

Don't jump into a conversation
about feminism

unless you're sure you can hang.

♪ Equal Rights Amendment
was a good idea ♪

♪ But we're still waiting
to pass it here ♪

Whoo!

- So, you're an expert?
- Yep!

For men, feminism is simple

if you remember these three things.

Women are the same as men,
never look at their cleavage,

and never ask her if she's pregnant.

Ohh, Dad, I love you, but that
is antiquated as...

What?

If I was at my place, I could say it.

She has a point, Dre.

♪ My anaconda-conda don't want
none unless you got buns, hon ♪

♪ I like big butts ♪

Ow!

You are all crazy.

I understand women issues.
I have daughters.

And no man with daughters
has ever mistreated a woman.

Yeah, that's enough, Dad.

Just admit it... you're a dinosaur.

I am not a dinosaur. Mama, back me up.

He is not a dinosaur.

- Bam.
- Look at Rainbow.

He lets her have her own bank account,

he lets her work,

he lets her talk reckless to his mother.

Diane, don't let her paint
a picture of feminism

that does not exist.

And I have an idea.

I was thinking that maybe the two of you

should come with me
to my next women's meeting.

ZOEY: Oh... [Clears throat] I would.

I actually just have plans
doing anything else.

- Oh.
- But I promise that whatever I do,

I will embody my feminist values.

Huh, okay, that's something.

Diane, you're coming with me.

[Sighs] You can't tell me what to do.

I am gonna tell you
what I have been telling you

since you were two years old...
"Yes, I can."

And they're gonna have doughnuts.

Fine, I'll go.

- But only for the doughnuts.
- Yeah!

That's my girl.

- Huh?
- Suit yourself, Rainbow.

But Susan B. Anthony would've changed

a lot more minds
if she'd shown a little skin.

Mm.

DRE: A dinosaur?

Can you believe this?

[Meteor approaching, fart noise]

CHARLIE: Of course I can.

I mean, obviously,
the dinosaurs are extinct

and not living on some secret

government island near Galveston.

No, man, my... my kids think
I'm a dinosaur

because I don't know
much about feminism.

That's crazy, Dre.

You're the biggest feminist in here.

You've got daughters, for God's sakes.

That's what I said, man!

I don't need to change.

[Laughs] You do not.

Thank you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh... Maybe your cologne.

I found a bottle in your office
and I used it,

and now everyone thinks that I
wear it better than you do.

My family is nuts. Okay?

I have a female dentist,

I definitely read a book
written by a woman,

and Janet is my favorite Jackson.

Every lady in this office should
be patting you on the back.

I don't think we can call them
ladies anymore.

I-I believe the kids are saying
"Woman-Americans."

[Groans] See, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.

Why does this generation always
have to complicate things?

They're bending over backwards
to change a system that works.

- Let me ask you something, Dre.
- Mm-hmm.

Would you ever let a woman
pay for you on a date?

- No!
- Would you ever let a woman

drive you around
while your legs are working?

- No.
- Would you ever go see a movie

with a female James Bond?

- Hell no!
- Hell no.

Oh, God, I may have a problem.

[Video game playing]

Okay. [Sighs]

I think I'm gonna need your help.

Mm. You were right to come to us.

Mm-hmm.

The first step is admitting
that you're a disgusting,

hairy, misogynist beast.

I'm gonna need you to say it.

I was headed for a crash course
in feminism, and so was Diane.

WOMAN: Hey, guys, welcome!

Uh, I brought my daughter today.

Her name is Diane.

The next generation of activists

- is going to be the fiercest one yet.
- [Applause]

- And...
- I was promised doughnuts.

They are right over there.

Having Diane here is a good reminder

of what we're all fighting for.

- Mm-hmm.
- Equality for all women.

We know that we can create change,

and we are not gonna
back down or give up.

Mm.

Not while we're all living

through the worst thing

to ever happen to women in this country.

[Applause]

Hey. Whoa, whoa!

I mean, these are really
bad times for women...

but it's not the worst thing
to ever happen in our history.

- What is she talking about?
- I'm confused.

- WOMAN #2: I don't know.
- sl*very.

Because black women were slaves.

- Ohh.
- Right.

So, this is your squad?

Hey, welcome home!

How was the Future Cat Ladies
of America convention?

So she's just here all the time?

Yeah, and she has an apartment
six miles away.

- Oh.
- DIANE: Grandma.

- Huh?
- You were right.

Those women don't care about us.

And the snacks were trash, too.

You're gonna bring six doughnuts
to a group function?

Sounds about right.

Okay, let's not blow this out
of proportion, all right?

It was... an ill-informed comment.

Give it up, Mom.

Obviously, feminism is canceled.

No! Okay, feminism is not canceled.

Some people have blind spots.

- Mm-hmm.
- But our group is doing really good work.

We flipped a Congressional district.

- Yes, we did.
- Oh, really?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Wow! Why didn't you say so?

- Still canceled.
- What?

No. Diane, we need your voice.

I looked around tonight and I was like,

"When did it get so White in here?"

- Mm.
- We need more diversity.

We got to...

We have to shake things up.

- That's right. We need to shake it up.
- Mm-hmm.

- Yes!
- And you know what?

I am gonna bring
some of my other friends

to our next meeting.

- Can I tell you something?
- Mm.

- I love it.
- See? Bow and Abby are doing things.

- Oh, my God.
- We do things together.

All right, all right.

Well, how about your change your
doughnut game, then we'll talk.

Diane, you come with me, baby.

Grandma is gonna teach you

the subtle art of getting men
to buy you things.

We're gonna start with tacos

and then we're gonna work
our way up to diamonds.

[Laughs]

So, do you have any girlfriends in mind?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

Hmm.

[Shrieking]

Oh! Mm!

Look at you!

Oh, my God!

Oh! Oh, it's been too long!

♪♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

If you guys are trying to change

my attitude towards women,

why are you bringing me to a restaurant?

Shouldn't you be taking me
to, like, Lululemon,

or Black Girls Rock?

[Sighs] We have so much work to do.

It's 2019, and when it comes to women,

you're still stuck in the '90s.

It's not just women.

"Humpin' Around" should not
be your ringtone anymore.

So, we brought you here
to observe your behavior

in the wild and correct as needed.

Wait a minute, I thought y'all
brought me here for my birthday.

We ready? Okay, let's go.

Hey, hey, hey. Ladies first.

What the heck was that?

I was being a gentleman.

Chivalry is a tool of the patriarchy.

Women don't need
to be protected at every turn.

Yeah, they can do things on their own.

I was being polite.

Okay.

Okay. Note taken.

I'm starting to lose hope
that this ends with a cake.

[Chuckles]

- [Yelling]
- Oh, my goodness!

I'm so glad you all could make it.

Hey, when my college roommate
calls, I answer.

Yes, we're there through thick and thin.

Girl, give me more.

- Okay!
- Give me more.

I mean, I didn't answer because,

uh, you know, all the minutes on
my burner phone have run out,

so thanks for DM'ing me.

Oh, that is so cool! That's so cool!

Okay, you're doing that Bow thing.

- What?
- Where you compliment us

before you ask us for something.
What do you need?

Yeah, okay, I need your...
I need your help,

uh, with a group of
well-intentioned White women.

- Oh. So basically what you're saying
- Mm-hmm.

is you need Black-up.

I need it desperately.

[Indistinct conversations]

We are so lucky to have
Rainbow's friends here today

as we get ready for the
Equal Pay March this weekend.

Remember, we're all stronger together.

- [Applause]
- Yes, we are!

You guys, these signs look really cute.

Oh, I like this one.

"Equal Pay... Because I'm Worth It."

"Unequal Pay Is Not Okay." Yeah.

"77 Cents On The Dollar
Is Not Good Enough."

Damn right, and 77 cents
is just what White women make.

For Black women,
I believe it's... it's 63 cents?

- Mm.
- And Latinx women make even less.

RAINBOW: Tina makes a really good point.

I think the sign should say that.

I thought we should just focus
on the overall numbers...

No. No, they're... they're right.

Uh, Sue, why don't you get
started on a new sign?

- Go, Sue.
- Okay. I'm doing it.

I'm breaking out my puffy paint.

[Laughs]

Hey, guys. Can I get you anything else?

Yes.

Could we have some more
ice teas and a smile?

I mean, your day
can't be going that bad.

Hate to see you leave, but love
to watch you go, go, go.

- Oh, man.
- [Groans]

I cannot believe what I just saw.

Yeah. Pops, way to be a creep.

- Unh-unh.
- Not him. You.

You can't just tell a woman to smile.

I was being nice.

It looked as if she
was having a bad day,

so I was just trying to cheer her up.

By telling her what to do with her face?

When's the last time
you told a man to smile?

Pops was so much worse!

He's too old to be learning new tricks.

He'll be dead soon! No offense.

None taken.
I'm just here for the free meal.

And maybe a personal sized
cobbler with a sparkler in it.

- Ah.
- Hmm? Hmm?

Oh, here she comes. Apologize.

I don't have anything to apologize for.

Will that be all?

You know, can I ask you a question?

Did I make you feel uncomfortable

when I told you to smile?

If at any time during this conversation

you feel uncomfortable, just use
the safe word "calamari."

Also, we'd like to order
some more calamari.

Oh, yeah, this is b*mb.

Honestly, it was annoying.

I hear, "You should smile"
from creepy dudes every day.

That's not how I meant it, okay?
I'm not creepy.

All right, the... the... the...
the... the... the...

the rules just keep changing around me.

You know, I can't be a gentleman,

I can't try to cheer you up.

Next you're probably gonna tell me

I can't call you "little mama"
or "baby girl."

Chad, we have a code blue.

It's my break. Chad's got you.

Okay, that's it.

I give up.

I'm never gonna get this.

It's too late for me.

[expl*si*n]

[Screaming]

♪♪

[Grunts]

Get out of here!

Save yourselves!

[Echoing] It's too late for me!

Cool.

[Sultry music plays]

Aoogah!

So, calamari for the table?

You gonna tell him to smile?

[Laughter]

Hey, did you guys hear
that Catherine Jameson

might run for that open
Congressional seat in the Valley?

I didn't hear that. That's cool.

Yes! I think it could be
so great for women.

I feel our next project coming on.

- [Laughs]
- Wait, she's the former sheriff, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I remember reading
that her department

had problems
with excessive use of force.

Well, still, having a woman in
that seat would be great for...

I know, but, Abby,
don't you think we should dig

into some of the stuff
that Tina just said?

Oh, yeah. No, of course, of course.

I mean, I'm sure there's got
to be a great Black woman

that could run for that seat, right?

- It's such a good idea.
- Oh, yeah.

- Uh-huh.
- I mean, I know a few.

What a great dialogue. Yeah.

Hey, Bow, can I talk to you
for one second?

- Yes, of course.
- Okay.

Wait.

Isn't this great?

Oh, my God, they're so amazing.

Yeah, oh, my God, they are amazing.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's fun.

I just... Um, I feel like
we keep getting off track.

- Really?
- Yeah.

The conversation keeps
drifting toward race,

and this group's more focused
on women's issues.

I thought you said you wanted
more diversity.

- Is that a problem now?
- No, I just, you know...

I didn't think that you were gonna

come in and take over the whole group.

[Chuckles]

What do you mean by "take over"?

I'm just saying, like,
this group does what we do

for not just a specific group
of women, but for all women.

Oh.

Okay, Abby, when you say "all women,"

you mean, "White women."

- No, no, no.
- Yeah.

Yeah, that's what you mean.
That's what that means.

Bow, you're talking to me
like I'm the bad guy.

- I'm your friend. I just...
- Okay, you're asking me to choose

between being a woman and being Black.

I don't have that privilege.

No, I just... I feel like

you're distracting
from the bigger issue.

This is the issue.

I...

Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go.

Diane, sweetie, let's go.
I think we should go.

- Oh, wait.
- All right, I'm gonna...

My coat is by the door.

I'm gonna go.

But, uh, good job on
the doughnuts, though.

Like...

Ugh. Ruby.

Yes?

I hate to admit it, but I think
you might have been right.

About how Skinny Luther Vandross

and Fat Luther Vandross
are two different people?

No, about Abby.

Oh, Lord.

It's just that we were both
so passionate

about the same issues that it covered up

the fact that that group
had a big old blind spot.

Well, don't b*at yourself up about it.

I mean, we've all been there.

At least she didn't try to tell you

that Irish people were slaves, too.

Ugh.

I really miss Tammy.

Mm, she had the best seven-layer dip.

You know, Rainbow, you are
looking at this the wrong way.

Now, you're upset,
you don't know who to trust.

But on the bright side... hey!...

You're not a feminist anymore.

Ugh, mm.

- Okay.
- Wow.

I'm glad that is not my mama.

Yeah, and she's wrong
because I am still a feminist.

- Yes.
- It took me a long time to claim that word.

- I'm not just gonna give it up.
- Damn straight.

I thought that group was
different, and I'm bummed.

Aww, I know this is hard, Bow.

But you're one
of the strongest women I know.

Yeah.

Girl, my divorce was hard, too.

I don't know how I survived that.

- [Chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, we... we just gonna sit up in here

and talk about how hard Bow has it?

You are no stranger to hard situations.

- Mnh-mnh.
- So, what you gonna do about this one?

♪♪

I turned my back for a second
and the world passes me by.

How am I supposed to catch up?

It's nice to be out of touch.

In about 10 years,
you'll be able to really

- slide into sweet ignorance.
- [Chuckles]

You know, you guys aren't the
only ones with this problem.

What? Come on, man.
You know all this stuff.

You're Generation Woke.

Yeah, but, you know, it's still
easy to get tripped up.

I posted something on Twitter
in support of LGBTQ people,

but I forgot IA,
and now I am getting dragged.

What's IA?

Uh, you're not ready to know yet.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

If a kid isn't up on all this
stuff, what chance do I have?

You know, maybe there is no point.

How many times have you had to explain

Black Lives Matter at work?

Hmm.

Man, I lost count.

[Scoffs]

Those guys, they...
they should get it by now.

They should.

But why do you think they don't?

Because every time
it becomes uncomfortable,

they all start to tune out.

Mm. And they have all the power.

- Mm-hmm.
- So what are you gonna do?

It's exhausting, son.

And it's... It's not even like
I'm asking for a lot.

- Yeah.
- You know, I... I try to tell them

what they can do to be better,
and it's like

they can't even wrap
their head around it.

Which sounds a lot like...

Me.

Hey.

Do men treat feminism
like White people treat racism?

Mm.

So, men are the White people of gender?

Damn.

I can't believe
I have been White guy-ing

these women all this time.

Do I have any other blind spots?

Oh, well, you're a terrible listener...

No, I'm good.
Pops, can you believe this kid?

[Sighs]

You know, it makes me glad
I wasn't around enough

for you to teach me any lessons.

So, Bow decided.

If she wanted a more inclusive group,

she'd have to build one from scratch.

So, these are the women who
are going to save the world?

- Mm-hmm.
- [Chuckles]

I wouldn't trust them to save me a seat.

Oh.

Everybody, let's get started,

- shall we?
- WOMAN: Whoo!

All right, you are all

the founding members
of L.A.'s newest activism group

for women of color.

Ooh. Hear, hear.

Because we know
that allies are important,

but we need to have our own safe spaces

where our voices matter.

[Applause]

Mom, when you put it like that,

it doesn't sound totally terrible.

Diane, you're not buying this.

A group of five or more women
should be a church meeting.

Or a Mary Kay party.

Ruby, you don't think
that women deserve equal pay?

They deserve more.

And I know you wouldn't let
a man talk down to you.

Now, you know ain't no man
talking down to me.

And you'd fight for a woman to be able

to make her own decisions.

With my fist!

- Grandma.
- Mm?

You're a feminist.

Just like Mom... and me.

Aww.

All right.

You listen to me.

If any of you ever call me a feminist,

I'm gonna slap your salty little mouths.

Now, I'm going to put on two bras.

Just because.

That's right.

Two of 'em.

Here we go! Some snacks
for my strong women Americans.

- Thank you.
- All right.

- My man...
- Bow.

- What?
- What is wrong with this man?

Just snatching it out
of her hand like that?

Doesn't your husband
know how to be a gentleman?

Well, the... Well, the gentleman
made the sandwiches.

- Sweetheart.
- Hmm?

Ladies first.

But... it's 2019, babe!

What about the patriarchy?

What am I doing wrong?

I've been asking that question
for the past 20 years.

♪♪