02x02 - Chocolate Bananas

[bunniefuu]

Hey, guys, we've got
the whole g*ng here,

and we're gonna play
Messy Musical Chairs.

Frankie, tell 'em how it works.

Well, it's musical chairs,
except it's messy.

- Very helpful.
- Thank you.

Let's do it!

Round one: cake.

Here we go!

- You can't touch it!
- I'm not!

Yes! I didn't lose! I did not lose!

Frankie is out!

Round two: lasagna!

Nobody cheat!

- Athleticism.
- Don't stop! Go, go, go!

Yes! Yes! Who's out?

- I'm in! I'm in!
- Who's out?

It's my chair!

It's open!

It's open, yo!

- Who's out?
- I sat first!

It was not me! It was... No! No!

Frankie and Amelia are out.

Round three: raw eggs!

Here we go!

Go. Don't go slow.

Hey, stop, you can't push me.

Don't hover. You can't hover.

Oh, yo! Yo!

Bernie, out! Woo!

Frankie, Amelia, and Bernie are out.

Now, it's time for some nachos.

Okay, don't slip on it.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yes! Yes!

Final round: me versus Horse Face Guy.

And we're sitting in some random blue goo.

You're goin' down!

Horse Face Guy! Horse Face Fuy!

Hey, I thought we were friends!

Horse Face Guy!

No! No!

Come on! I thought we were friends.

♪ You could spend all day ♪

♪ On a swing eating a baguette ♪

♪ But why do boring things like that ♪

♪ When there's the Internet? ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos, hey! ♪

♪ You could watch Dirk
doing crazy dares ♪

- ♪ Saying, "Here we go" ♪
- Here we go!

♪ He'll do anything you want ♪

♪ Just don't try this at home ♪

♪ Or watch Amelia teaching ya ♪

♪ How to look your best ♪

♪ Making over people is
her never-ending quest ♪

♪ You could watch... ♪

Do you have constant foot odor?

♪ You could watch us make
ridiculously funny videos ♪

♪ Like the one with evil pop-up books ♪

♪ That punch you in the nose ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

And I... I missed it.

That was a great sh**t!

"Chocolate Bananas" is gonna be

the funniest video we've ever made.

Hey, cheers to that.

Now, time for the most exciting part

of the video-making process:

meticulously editing
for three to six hours!

♪ We're long and we're yummy
We hang out in your tummy ♪

♪ And if you leave us
in the sun we get really runny ♪

Something's not right.

Yeah.

Is it the dance we're doing?

No.

Is it the melody?

No.

Is it the fact that we look
like two giant dancing pieces of poop?

Yep, that's it.

How did this happen?

The costumes don't look like poop.

But I'm looking at the screen,
and I'm seein' poop!

Maybe it's not as bad as we think.

I'm sure the video gets better.

♪ We're brown and we're nutty ♪

♪ Boop, boop, boop ♪

Just keep playin' it.

♪ We smell kinda funny
Boop, boop... ♪

That's not even true! Chocolate
bananas smell like chocolate!

That only applies to poop!

Also, are we saying "boop" or "poop"?

We're obviously saying "boop."

Well, it doesn't sound like it!

Oh no, and there's that part about
flushing us down the toilet.

That can apply to chocolate bananas.

You can flush anything down the toilet.

But why would we say it?

Did we even say the words
"chocolate bananas"?

Oh, no.

I don't even know what we thought
this video was gonna be about.

You're right. We're never gonna
post it, nobody will ever see it.

You know what the worst part
about this song is?

- What?
- It's catchy!

Hey, Claire. How was your weekend?

Not good. I went to my
grandfather's funeral.

That's awesome. I bought a boat!

Aw, man, another funeral
I didn't get invited to?

I don't get it, Bernie. I've really
been workin' on my social skills

so I can make friends.

At Vuuugle, I don't have to try because
I can just talk about myself for hours

and everyone loves it!

Uh-huh.

But at school,
people talk about boring things,

that aren't me.

So, I made flash cards with
tips on how to talk to people.

You should've just come to me for help.
I'm great at conversation.

Hey, what's up, Russell?

I did my part.

You're so lucky,
you already have a best friend.

Right. Wait, who?

Dirk.

Really? You think we're best friends?

I don't care, I was just sayin' words.

I mean... Hold on...

Weather, Sports, Nice Pants...

No.

You know, Dirk's never actually
called me his best friend.

I mean, I've always thought
of him as my best friend,

but I don't know if he thinks I'm his.

Uhh...

You know, I've never
had a best friend before.

I mean, if I told Dirk he was
mine and he didn't say it back,

I don't think I could handle it.

Bernie, just tell Dirk
he's your best friend,

and I'm sure he'll tell you
you're his best friend.

You're right. Thanks, Amelia,
that's really good advice.

Yeah, it is.

I can't wait to get back to Vuuugle

and tell everyone how
good I am at conversations.

I'll bet they're all dyin'
to hear about it.

Uh-huh.

School is dumb? School is dumb?

School is dumb! School is...

Oh...

I thought you guys were my peeps.

I let you call me Karen.

Not principal. Not even Principal Karen.

Just Karen!

So this...

this is a betrayal!

Do you think she cares a little too much
about being friends with her students?

All right, who's the graffiti vandal?

Was it you, Brittany?

We got our ears pierced together!

This heinous crime happened
sometime last night.

If anyone has any information about the...
coward who did this,

I will be in my office, posting
my feelings on social media.

At "Cool Principal 18." Please
follow me, I post cool stuff.

We filmed "Chocolate Bananas"
right here last night.

You don't think we caught whoever
did this on video, do you?

Aaaah, it's so much worse
the second time!

Who's idea was it to squat so
much while we were singing?

Paige, look! It's the graffiti vandal.

We have proof, we have
to show this to someone.

Hold on. That would mean showing
someone "Chocolate Bananas."

♪ Beatbox solo! ♪

- No, just turn it off.
- Turn it off.

I'm telling you, this is a bad idea.

We shouldn't show Principal
Karen "Chocolate Bananas."

That woman can't keep a secret.

She even has a gossip board!

"Rebecca loves Tony."

Heh. With those eyes, get in
line, am I right?

Relax. We're not just gonna
hand over the video.

We'll feel out the vibe. If it
seems like we can't trust her,

we won't give it to her. Karen loves us.

Hey, Karen.

It's "Principal" now.

Ew, that sounds so weird.

I can't stay mad at you guys.
We're a trio!

Paige, Karen and Frankie!

PKF! Puh-Keff! Right?

- Yeah.
- Say it!

P... Puh-Keff!

Sorry, I freaked. This locker
vandal sitch is really...

stressin' my dressin'.

Ooh, I just made that up, I like it.

Do you like it?
Do you think it'll catch on?

Uh, sure.

A... Actually, we wanna
help you find the vandal

because it's also, uh, really, stressin'
our dressin'. I hate myself.

So, um, hypothetically, if someone
saw the vandal in action,

could that person
just describe it to you?

Sadly, no. Without evidence,

it's just one person's word
against another's.

Um... uh, okay, uh, what if,

hypothetically, the crime
was caught on video,

and that video made its way to you?

You'd keep that to yourself, right?

No way! I'd put that sucker online.

My followers need to know
what I'm up to.

In fact, I should be live streaming
this conversation right now.

- Uh, okay, good luck finding him!
- Or her!

Crime is gender neutral!

What's up, Dareheads? In today's video, I'm
joined by my partner in crime, Bernie!

And today,
we're playin' a game called...

Dirk bought a bunch of things
from the grocery store,

and we're gonna put them on our feet and
try to do various activities in them

to see if they work as shoes.

And if they do,
we'll flash these can be shoes!

But if they don't, we'll flash
these can't be shoes!

And we're not gonna need these!

Baby potties!

- Oh!
- Ow!

I was jumping, and it was,
like, landing on my foot.

Yeah, I don't know if I like these ones.

Watermelons!

Oh!

- What kind of watermelon...
- The juice, it feels weird on my toes!

Priceless works of art!

These are my grandma's.

Uhh!

Oh, yeah!

I really like the feel to these.

Stylish, too!

What is that, is that a Van Gogh?

Sub sandwiches!

- Mine already...
- Rippin'!

How are you going so fast?

Call 'em skate shoes! No, they're not!

No, they're not! Oww!

- Can't...
- Be shoes!

Ohhh! It feels so good!

Mac and cheese! Comfortable!

Whoa!

These can't be shoes!

This is good.
You can barely taste the foot.

Thanks for doing that, Bern-Man.

Always great making a vid with my bud.

Uh, speaking of...

uh, words, there's, uh, there's
something I've been meaning to tell you.

Dirk, we've been hanging out for a while
now, and I just... I just want you to know

that you're my bah... my beh...

beh, ah-bah dah, dah ah-dah
ba-dah ah-dah bah...

You can stop.

I know what you're tryin' to say.

- You do?
- Yeah.

You wanna start a jazz band!

♪ Bop bop bop bop bop bop diddley doh ♪

♪ Scot scot scot scot
scot scot diddley do ♪

Nose kazoo solo! Take it, Cady!

Big finish!

Whoo! Great practice, guys!
The gig's on Thursday!

And Cady... you can keep that kazoo.

Sweet!

Uh, Dirk.

Uh, that was fun and all, but what I
was really tryin' to say before is...

you're my best friend.

Aw... thanks, man.

Thanks?

It wasn't me, I swear!

What's going on?

There was more graffiti last night.

And our security guard, Clark, saw Amelia
leaving school around the same time.

I wasn't here, of course,
because I was at home,

listening to Ariana Grande.
Do you guys like her?

I like her, but I'm wiling not to.

I told you, I'm innocent!

And what about Security Guard Clark?

What was he doin' here last night?

What were any of us
doing here last night?

- We're all just a bunch of molecules...
- Okay, Clark.

Amelia, I wanna believe you're innocent,

but I need you to tell me what
you were doing here last night.

I can't!

Shouldn't we help Amelia?
We know she didn't do anything.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Okay, let's just see how this plays out.

Then I have no choice but to give you
two weeks of in-school suspension.

Ahh?

Let's... Let's keep seeing
how this plays out.

Amelia, you obviously didn't do it.

Why didn't you just tell Principal Karen
what you were doing here last night?

I couldn't.

It's too embarrassing.

Okay, Amelia. They'll all
be here for real tomorrow.

Let's just practice
normal conversations.

Hello, Janine. That sure is a
nice sweater and/or blouse.

I have one just like... No, Amelia!

The world does not revolve around you!

This is Janine's conversation,
not yours.

From the top!

I don't wanna sit in a room
by myself for two weeks.

Things were getting better for me here.

I even got someone
to eat lunch with me tomorrow.

Guess I'll be eating alone again.

Aww.

Well, we saw how that played out.

So, movies?

- Frankie!
- Ah-ha.

I know, you're gonna make me talk
about this for the next four hours.

Okay, B-Money. You told Dirk

he was your best friend,
and he didn't say it back.

Obviously, he isn't the kind of guy
to throw around the word "best."

Yo, Bern-Man!

You want some jelly beans?
They're the best!

The best? Really?
What makes them the best?

Well, on the outside,
they have a hard exterior,

but on the inside,
they're soft and warm.

That's how I would describe myself!

Also, they're really sweet.

I'm sweet!

And, they come in a box.

I've been in box.

So, is there anything else in the
room you'd describe as the best?

Nope. That's it.

Sweet! Pizza's here.

This guy is the best!

We have to hand over "Chocolate
Bananas" to save Amelia.

We can't. We'll be the
laughing stock of school.

Come on, Frankie. You know
it's the right thing to do.

Fine. But we're not showing that video.

I have an idea.

There's a fire drill scheduled tomorrow.

While everyone's outside,
including Amelia,

we'll spray-paint some lockers.

That'll prove that Amelia didn't do it,

and Principal Karen will
have to lift her suspension.

Wow!

You just came up with
that whole plan on the spot?

No, I've had it for a while.

I was saving it for something important,

but I guess we can waste it on Amelia.

Okay, I'm in.

Just like that? You're not
gonna list the pros and cons,

and say we shouldn't do it
'cause we could get suspended?

Hey, I don't always worry.

I can be cool. But seriously,
think we could get suspended?

There's my girl.

Hey, guys, Amelia here.

Wrongly servin' time
at in-school suspension.

So here's some DIY ways for you
to break me out of here...

Be quiet!

Hey, guys, me again. Grab a
shovel, a ladder, some perfume...

I can still hear you!

- Oo-yah an-kay...
- Pig Latin is still talking!

One more week's suspension!

- Subscribe below!
- Two more weeks!

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

Fire drill in three, two, one.

- You ready for this?
- It's go time.

♪ It feels good to be bad ♪

♪ So good to be bad ♪

♪ Outside the law, like an outlaw ♪

Ah, who am I kidding? I
can't go through with this,

even the fantasy made me uncomfortable.

Can we at least do the part where I run
out of paint and you throw me a can?

Ooh, yeah.

You two are the graffiti vandals?

My office, now.

I hate that you're making me raise my voice
in front of Jason and the cool kids!

Bern-Man? Who is that super cool guy?

Who? Oh-ho, you mean my boy, Bondo?

I'm surprised you guys haven't met.

We pretty much do everything together.

- Right, Bondo?
- True that, Barney.

Did he call you Barney?

Ahh... No, Bondo just has a weird
accent that makes his "errs"

sound like "arrs."

Or something. It's one of my
favorite things about him.

Bondo! Tell Dirk your
favorite thing about me.

I don't know, I just met you.

Ha-ha! Bond-O! This guy is always on!

Hey, wanna see Bondo jump the
couch on his motorcycle?

I don't know how to do that.

Ha-ha, classic Bondo!

Anyway, just wanted
to let you know me and Bonz

are headed off on a
cross-country motorcycle trip,

so, I won't be around for a while.

Cross-country?

Really?

Why? Does that make you jealous?

'Cause me and Bonderosa here are
pretty tight, like, the highest level

of really good friends, like, if there
were a word for better than good,

like, top, good, friend.

Yeah, man. If only.

Well, let me know if you need me to take
care of anything while you're gone.

Actually, if you could
water some of my plants.

Seriously, Bondo?

Okay, Dirk. I think it's
pretty clear how you feel.

See you around.

Hey, man. Take care of that little guy.
He's my best friend.

Aah!

I'm your best friend?

Of course, Bern. I love you, bro.

Thanks, man.

Thanks?

We're not the vandals!

I wish I could believe you, but
not only did you deface lockers,

you defaced my trust.

And for lying to me,
I have to expel you.

Sorry not sorry.

Expel us? Um, can Paige and I
chat in private for a moment

to discuss?

I say we take the expulsion.

What? Enough is enough.

We have to show her the video.

Or...

- Here's the plan...
- No!

No more plans.

Fine.

We have proof that it wasn't us.

We caught the real locker vandal
on video by accident.

All we ask is that you
keep this to yourself.

Of course I will! We're Puh-Keff! Right?

Say it!

Puh-Keff!

I found the real locker vandal.

Simon Vandalman?
How did I not see that coming?

Yep, he was just about to spray another
locker and I caught him in the act.

Or did he catch me
in the act of pondering my...

Okay, Clark!

Also, Simon, school isn't dumb.

Your attitude is. Ohh, slam!

Not from you.

How redonks was that? He walked in
right after you gave me this video

- of the crime in progress.
- Which you no longer need, right?

Actually, I'll take that.
The cops could need evidence.

We are in deep, deep chocolate bananas.

You know what? I'm glad
we turned in that video.

Someone has to step up
and do the right thing.

You made us wait three days, and we
only turned it in when we had to.

Uh, whatever. At least it's over.

And finally tonight, a vandal was caught

at a local high school,

and a so-called comedy duo
named Bizaardvark

captured it all on video.

♪ We're brown and we're nutty
Boop, boop, boop ♪

♪ We smell kinda funny
Boop, boop, boop ♪

♪ And it stinks
when we get on your shoe ♪

- ♪ And if you hold us... ♪
- We did the right thing!

♪ Then put us in the toilet
and don't forget to flush ♪