04x05 - Doink

[bunniefuu]

Kane is in the building, n*gga...

Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top

When only heaven's right above it,
we on

'Cause we on

Who else is really trying to f*ck
with Hollywood Cole?

I'm with Marley G, bro

Flying Holly Grove chicks
to my Hollywood shows

And I wanna tell you something
that you probably should know

This that
Slumdog Millionaire Bollywood flow

And...

My real friends never hearing from me

Fake friends write the wrong
answers on the mirror for me

That's why I pick and choose
I don't get sh*t confused

Don't like my women single
I like my chicks in twos

And these days
all the girls is down to roll

I hit the strip club
and all them b*tches find the pole

Plus, I been sippin'
So this sh*t is movin' kinda slow

Just tell my girl to tell her friend
that it's time to go

Good morning.

- I'm here to see Sean.
- I know you.

- You played for the Dolphins.
- I did, yeah.

So exciting to have you here.

Why, thank you.
I'm excited to be here.

Hey, it's Mary in reception.

I have Jason Taylor here for Sean.

Okay, thank you.

Okay. Someone's gonna come right out
and get you.

Please, just have a seat.

Thank you, Mary.

Mmm-hmm.
- Mmm.

What are you having this time, Joe?

Dealer's choice.

As long as it ends in "uila."

Excuse me. I've had a sh*t day.

What do you say

you drink with me,
and then we go get lost

and share a beautiful moment together?

I'm sorry. I work here,

and we're not allowed
to drink with the guests.

- Quit!
- I can't.

I have a family to support.

Oh, what are your kids' names?

I don't have any kids.

Reload, Donny.

Thank you.

Hey, you got any cocaine?
You know where I can find cocaine?

Ow!

Give me my f*cking keys!

I can't do that, sir.

You're drunk.

Would you call me an Uber

so I can go back to my hotel, please?

You're staying at this hotel, sir.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Yeah, no problem.
I'm Spencer Strasmore.

I'm Sean. This is Nick.

We are
with Distribution and Acquisitions.

So you guys are in charge
of my channel.

Yeah, we are.

All right. Well, thanks for meeting
on short notice.

I never took you
for an action sports guy.

Because I'm not.
But I do like making money.

Well, how can we help you make more?

Let's start by getting me
a better channel.

Getting me out of the nosebleeds.

How do I get around
Fox Sports Net, NBC Sports?

I'm sure one
of your computer geek experts

can just type on the keyboard
and just move me on down the line.

It's really not that easy.
Besides, it doesn't really matter

where your house is located
if nobody will come visit.

You're referring to our fan base?

Or lack thereof.

You guys have no fan base. Zero. None.

- Are you exaggerating? Come on.
- No, he's not.

You polled at 0.001.

You went dark last week.

How many calls do you think we got?

- I'm guessing zero.
- Bingo.

You should be more concerned
about being dropped from our system.

Obviously, Lance didn't give a sh*t

about making money,
or ratings, but I do.

The dark days are over.

I need you guys
to help me help myself.

Well, as you said, in so many words,

content that moves the needle,

- like your old sport.
- Those rights are spoken for.

Yeah, I know. We own them.

Surf and skate will never work
in our demo, Spencer.

We know what works,
and we just want to get more of it.

- What about college football?
- We'd love that.

Our SEC Network is k*lling it.

Do you have exclusive rights
to anything?

- I don't, but I can get access.
- Great.

But we're only interested
in brand names.

Notre Dame, Ohio State,
or if it's a big market team like USC.

And prying them loose
ain't gonna be easy, as you know.

Well, let me worry
about the prying, huh?

All right.

Deliver that, and we can deliver
your net to prime time.

All right.

Hey, you guys see the Big Man today?

About eight foot tall, always angry?

No? All right.

- You see Spencer?
- He's MIA.

I haven't heard from him all morning.

- Kind of like you.
- Yeah.

He's probably hiding from me.

Hey, are you planning
on addressing the team?

Because they could def use

a morale boost.

- You can't avoid them forever.
- Um...

Yeah, sure. I will do that.

But first, I was thinking I might
make myself a Bloody Mary.

What do you think about that?
That's a great idea.

You know where Lance kept the liquor?

Well, we don't have liquor
in the office.

Are you f*cking kidding me?
I mean, come on. That's amateur.

We have a sh*t-ton
of opioids in the closet.

I will take that.

Enid.

You look amazing today.

- And you look drunk.
- Drunk!

No. Maybe drunk with love for you.

Hey, how fast do you think
you can give me a client breakdown

with a receivables report?

Oh, my God!

Okay.

No, no, no! Shh! Shh!
Give it to me. There you go.

Thank you. See?

Young lady, this is the benefits
of being old school.

- And you can't get hacked.
- And you can't get hacked, Jesse.

She doesn't care. She's a hacker.

Amazing work. I can't do without you.

I love you very much.

Ledger kiss.

Don't quit on me, Ricky.

You know,
where I'm from, you don't quit

unless your sh*t's about to snap,
or you're getting choked out.

sh*t! I'd rather be choked out by you
than taken down by Calais Campbell.

You say that now,

till I snatch up that neck,
put you to sleep.

Man, you need a hug or something. Man!

Give me one of them. Good work, baby.

- Take a shower.
- Thank you.

KT, what up, baby?

- Ricky m*therf*cking Jerret.
- What you doing out in LA?

Man, sh*t! I just flew out here, bro.

And my girl love it though,
so I might stick around.

I feel you. How is Tiffany
anyway, man?

T good, bro.

But I was talking about my girl Tasha.

Yeah, but she on some Cali love
sort of sh*t.

- What you working on?
- You know what? I'm working on being

a better man for my daughter
and her momma.

That's beautiful, Rick.

I was talking about
what body part, though.

- What you got going on?
- Oh... A leg day for me.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Mind if I jump in,
keep my black ass out of trouble?

- Let's do it.
- Take off one of them plates

- for me, baby.
- What?

You slipping, man.
Season's just around the corner.

Ain't like that.
I'm trying to lean up, bro.

Get quicker.

sh*t, I might even go vegan,
like Brady.

You know what? I could never f*ck
after I ate a porterhouse.

sh*t, the only thing
getting hard on me

after I eat a porterhouse
is my arteries, n*gga.

Yeah, the Dolphins got you playing
all three downs now, huh?

Nah, I'm done with the Fins, bro.

What? Going shopping, huh?

sh*t, yeah.

Like a m*therf*cking
lottery winner, baby.

Word is, Rams looking for a slot.

- You don't say.
- Yeah.

Jason gonna put you up for that?

Yeah. That's why I'm out here,

you know,
meet with Chuck, handle sh*t.

That's a good idea.

Yo, think you got some advice for me?

You know what I'm saying, like
old generation to new generation?

- Advice?
- Advice, yeah.

Why don't you get some new hands?

What you trying to say, I can't catch?

- Well, you calling me old?
- You are old.

Desperate times
call for desperate measures.

Look to your left
and look to your right.

These are your brothers
and sisters in f*cking arms!

These are the people
whose f*cking bodily fluids

are gonna be drenching your hands

as you f*cking shove their small
intestine back up into their body,

like, "Don't you f*cking die on me!

"You never walked away
from a fight in your life!"

- f*ck yeah!
- "Times are so tough."

f*ck you, times are tough.

We're tougher!

We eat glass and f*cking
crap diamonds, bro.

Doink! "Oh, another f*cking diamond.

"I'm rich because
I was f*cking tough."

But, like in all times of w*r,

there are casualties. Right?

And ours happen to be financial.

So, as of this moment,

I'm gonna have to freeze
all the expense accounts.

We're gonna have to cut back
in other ways too,

like I was thinking maybe
half-hour lunches for a while?

Just for a while.

Should've gone with Lance.

Hey, Kurt Cobain.
What were you just saying?

- Do you have a question?
- Just saying that

your motivational speech
was, um, motivational.

I don't think that's what you said
in that short amount of time.

What did he say?

That we should have left with Lance.

f*ck, dude!

Then why don't you do me the favor

of grabbing all your sh*t

and getting the f*ck out of here
because you're fired.

All right? Adiós.

Give Lance my warmest regards.

f*ck you. Who cares?

Hey, and also,
may as well get your sh*t too and go

because you're a snitch. Okay?

We're a troop of soldiers.

- Get out!
- This place sucked anyway.

It sure did suck

until you left, which is now.

For the rest of us, I know it's hard,

but we gotta get after it!

All of our remaining clients,
we gotta put back to f*cking work.

Book, book, book! That is your mantra.

And if we book, come Christmas time,

Santa Claus is gonna put a little
something extra in your stockings.

Yeah.

Thank you all for taking
this journey with us.

- Great stuff.
- Yeah. I'm drunk.

So Lance is on hold for you.

Do you want to take it,

or should I take
that pep talk to heart

and tell him to suck a bag of dicks?

Hey. Can I help you?

I doubt it. I'm here to see him.

You and everybody else.
He don't want to be disturbed.

sh*t.

Yo! What's up, brother?

Yo, Q!

Hold up.

- You must be Spencer.
- I am.

Yeah, my mom said to expect you.
What can I do for you?

Well, more like what
I could do for you.

- How do you know my mom?
- We're just friends.

Oh, you got a thing for her?

It's all right. Everybody does.

You ain't gotta be
all awkward and sh*t.

- It ain't about that, brother.
- No? What's it about?

Well, your mom thought that
I could give you some good advice.

Look, I've been through the league,

All-Pro, Super Bowl champ,
I'm up for the Hall.

You've got a lot of choices to make,
and I could help you with those.

Wow, I appreciate it.

But there's no need
for the resume, future Hall-of-Famer.

No need for the advice, either.
But I got some for you.

- Yeah, what's that?
- Be careful with my moms.

All right, boys, let's go!

I'm always f*cking careful.

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Wow!

And I thought it was an undertaking

when me and the wife
remodeled the kitchen,

but this place is really
coming together, Mr. Thompson.

No sh*t, Charles.
Mr. Kroenke is a visionary.

Might come as a surprise to you,

but these things don't happen
by accident.

No. No.

Why is it you wanted to see me, sir?

I just want to make sure

that we're all rowing
in the same direction.

Of course. My guys are ready.

Locked and loaded for free agency.

We've circled guys
like Alshon Jeffery, maybe...

What about Teague?
How we doing on Teague?

He's probably gonna be
a little pricier than we thought.

You should take a look around you
for a second.

How much do you think
we're spending here?

A few more dollars
isn't gonna do anything.

Hey, give me a couple of doubles,
all right?

I thought it was my job
to be smart and frugal.

No. Your job is to support
the wunderkind.

- Yeah?
- If he wants Kisan,

then just give him Kisan.

Hey.

- Here you go.
- Yeah, thank you.

- Thank you very much.
- Yeah,

but the GM's supposed
to make all personnel decisions.

It says so right there in my contract.

I don't give a f*ck
what your contract says.

All right?
Look, McVay likes the player,

and we just happen to love
his personality.

Huh?

His personality?

We've got some
great young talent on this team.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Coach is putting up

almost 30-plus points a game.

- Hell, yeah.
- But we need a little more swagger!

- Swagger.
- You know what I'm saying?

Other than McVay's.

Look, Charles,

no disrespect to you, okay?

But I wouldn't exactly
call you charismatic.

It takes a lot more than just wins
to succeed in LA.

You gotta do it with style,
with some panache.

- Panache.
- Yeah. You can't buy taste, Charles.

But you can buy yourself
some new clothes. Yeah.

Why don't you get yourself
a f*cking suit?

You'd look great in a suit. Okay?

All right.

It's a beautiful vista
you've brought us to,

or is this a mesa?

Well, technically,
to use the accurate geographical term,

- this is a bluff. Uh-huh.
- Bluff.

You should see it at magic hour,
Joe. It comes alive.

I thought with you and I,
everything was magic.

Yeah, well, it was. Then you brought
your beefcake boyfriend on the scene.

Okay.

I never had a brother.
Always wanted one.

- I know you don't have siblings.
- No.

Sadly, I was an only child.

And I still wasn't
my parents' favorite.

Yeah, I can relate to that.

Joe, I'm really sorry about everything
that went down between us.

Yeah, so am I.

Obviously, I can't reverse time,
but I can press reset.

Joe, I'm willing to give you
75 cents on the dollar,

buy my company back,
and then you and the glamorous potato

of whom you are peculiarly enamored

can go back to Miami,
focus on what you're good at,

where footballers need you.

I'll think about it. Okay? I will.

And I'll talk to the potato.

Don't be a dummy, Joe.

This world was never gonna work out
for a guy like Spencer.

I don't know. Maybe a world like this

is never gonna work for a guy like me.

One time, right here,

we have the league legend
against the young buck,

only at Unbreakable.
Step right up, folks! Step right up!

Come on, Rick, f*ck this bitch up.

Hey, watch your language,
Terrence Tyrone Darby!

Come on, man.
I run a place of business!

- Going down, Jerret.
- I don't go down for nobody.

- We'll see.
- Okay, guys on me.

Ready, ready, ready? Go!

Come on, Rick! Let's go, baby!

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

- Go! Go! Go!
- Smile for me, G!

- Don't go getting soft on me, baby!
- Time!

Don't be breaking Unbreakable.

Come on now! Come on! Let's go!

Must be the baby.
She keeping you up at night?

sh*t! I live in
a 12,000-square-foot mansion,

not a condo like yours.

Besides, the baby ain't the problem
'cause there ain't no problem.

I can do this sh*t all f*cking day.

- All day.
- You gonna need to.

You gonna need to!

Come on, Ricky. Do it for us old guys!

- I mean "veterans."
- Come on, man!

- Get him!
- Come on, man!

Getting tired of this, Jerret?

- Come on!
- Come on!

Fourth quarter, buddy.
We're going behind the rib cage.

- Let's go, Ricky. Come on, buddy.
- Get it, baby.

Nobody rolling up on me,
especially not this young boy.

You ain't never
gone deep in your life.

- Feel me, Jay?
- Got you, buddy. I like it.

That was cute.

That was real cute, Jerret.

Don't get scared now, Jerret.

Oh!

You can keep living
in a fantasy world,

or you might want to accept the fact

that you're getting
too old for this sh*t, bro.

No disrespect.

- Right?
- None taken.

And don't let that n*gga
get in your head, man.

- That sh*t will f*ck you up.
- Just you saying that's f*cking me up.

Get the f*ck out of my face, please.

Hey, we're going harder tomorrow.

Go pop a cryo and an IV. Good?

f*ck that high-jumping ass, n*gga.

- Hey, how'd it go?
- Well, it didn't.

- I was worried about that.
- Yeah. Me too.

I thought I had all the answers
when I was his age.

- Hmm. Did you?
- I still don't.

Join the club.

I think it's time to drill down
on that sweet child of mine.

- Can you come to dinner?
- Are you gonna force-feed me to him?

Yeah, that's how bad-ass moms do it.

Besides, I'm cooking.

Well, should I manage my expectations?

You should know
whatever I think is worth doing

is worth doing right. So...

Yeah, I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

Ciao.

Enough with the f*cking
"ciaos" already.

Jesus Christ.

Thompson's telling me
I gotta get McVay Kisan!

Telling me I gotta worry
about filling seats!

Talking about winning ain't enough.

What the hell he mean,
winning ain't enough?

These people are about
to give me an anxiety disorder

like my assistant got.

Mine's generalized anxiety.
Yours is specific.

You need to mind your business.

Good. Now we got some privacy.

I can't face-f*ck right now,
all right?

I can't get this image of McVay
out of my head!

Charles, how many times
do I have to remind you

it's La La Land.

You're not gonna start singing
and dancing again, are you?

No. I just mean it's LA, baby.
Embrace the glitter.

We got Jared Goff,
number one draft pick!

Aaron Donald, he breathes,
eats, sleeps sacks!

We put up 29 points a game
last season!

- That ain't enough glitter?
- Look at the Lakers.

They departed from what worked
with their prodigal son,

and how'd that turn out? Not so great.

But now they're back on track
with Magic.

Let me get this straight, baby.

So the Rams are the Lakers,

and you want me to be Magic?

All I'm saying is, you have to learn
to be a showman, Charles.

Give the people an experience.

I don't know, baby.
I just ain't that guy.

And you weren't
a front office guy, either.

Now you are.

It's time to rep the Greane family.

Show the world
who Charles Greane can be.

Now, I know it's not
easy being Greane,

but you wanna play the part,

you gotta act the part. You feel me?

Yeah, I feel you, baby.

- I hear you.
- But do you see me?

Well, I mean, I see you, baby.

And do you like what you see?

- Hey, Andrew!
- Yes, sir.

Go on ahead
and get up out of here, dawg.

You sure?

- All right.
- Mmm.

Have a good night, Charles.

Mmm-hmm.

You really trying
to make an impression, huh?

Well, I hope you like apple pie.

Hate that sh*t. Mom's in the kitchen.

Remember, you ain't the first,

and you won't be the last.

I see you still carry
that chip on your shoulder

even when you come home, huh?

When there's people
in my house I don't want to see.

Okay, well, it's just a dinner,
so lighten the f*ck up, huh?

Hey!

- Hey. Perfect timing.
- Thanks. You too.

- Dinner's ready. So sit. Let's eat.
- All right.

Uh, that includes you, Q.

Yep, let's eat.

Can't wait.

Ooh, I can't eat another bite.

That was amazing. Thank you.

I hope you don't mind.
I have a lot of homework to do,

- so I'm just gonna...
- I have a better idea.

How about the two of you chop it up
while I go get dessert ready?

- Thanks, babe.
- You're welcome, babe.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Mmm-hmm.

So why don't you save us
a bunch of time and bullshit

so you can get back to your pie.

We conversing
because you're dating my moms,

or are you just another
straight-up hustler?

- I'm just trying to be helpful.
- You gonna put me on a Wheaties box?

Show me how to do it the right way?

It's a little too late for that,
isn't it, Q?

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, I saw your $150,000 G-Wagen

that's parked down the street
at your neighbor's.

That's a really smart, elaborate ruse.

So I would say
that you are dirty as f*ck.

- Yeah? What else?
- And that discretion ain't your thing.

- You gonna roll on me?
- No. That's not my style.

- Then what is your style?
- Teaching you how to be discreet.

About wearing a nice suit
and some Italian monk straps?

That doesn't seem very discreet to me.

Well, it's not supposed to be.

Listen, I don't want to f*ck around.
I'm here to do business.

If you're gonna
jeopardize your eligibility,

at least make it worth something
not a $150,000 Mercedes.

You finally got my attention.

Don't lose it.

How would you like to own a piece
of a regional sports network?

It is an asset that has a chance
to be worth a half a billion dollars.

I knew you were a hustler.

Who wants pie?

I'm in.

Never pass up a chance
to grab a slice.

Me neither.

Hey.

When you sneak back into the house,

you're supposed
to do it barefoot, dumdum.

You know that?

Where the f*ck have you been, huh?

You been making deals or making love?

- Hit me, Donny.
- You got it.

I'm sorry about
not calling you back earlier, man.

I just had a crazy-long day.

But believe it or not, uh,
I've been working for us.

- Good. Me too.
- Yeah? Anything good?

I met with Lance today.

Don't say anything. Let me finish.

He's willing to buy back the company

at a respectable 75 cents
on the dollar.

We will take a big hit, sure,

but we'll eventually recover.

And we'll just chalk it up
to a failed experiment,

which is on me. It's on me.

And I really appreciate you
backing me up this whole time.

But, come on, it's time
to pull the ripcord

and parachute back to our oasis

with most of our company
and self-esteem still intact.

So what do you say?

I don't know whether
I should be appreciative right now

or call you out
for being a f*cking p*ssy.

- Oh, f*ck you, man.
- f*ck me? f*ck you.

Is that what you want to do?
You wanna sell Sports X back

at a $12 million loss
to that f*cking d*ck-bag,

or do you want to dig in
and grind it out

to be what you imagined it could be?

Well, of course, I want
to dig in and grind it out.

- I f*cking love w*r.
- Good.

Because we're gonna keep
your dream alive.

f*ck Lance, f*ck his culture,
and f*ck anybody who doubts us.

I got a plan.

Time to double the f*ck down.