03x01 - Mission: Breakout

[bunniefuu]

Welcome
to Tivan Tower... Huh?

...my new permanent
exhibit space

for the greatest collection
the galaxy has ever known.

A collection that now includes
the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Drax.

Groot.

Quill.

Gamora. What's going on here?

Each of you will be preserved
in a specially designed habitat.

And stocked with everything
I need to bust outta here!

Specially
designed to achieve

maximum humiliation and
punishment.

Aw,
come on! Let me at it!

For all the one-of-a-kind
artifacts from my collection

that you have
stolen or destroyed,

and all the personal indignities
you have visited upon me.

Enjoy your cage, rodent.

Seriously?

Not even the good kind!

What am I supposed
to eat around here?

Feel free to root through this.

Aahh!

I'd like to root through
your frizzy white skull!

Aha!

Anything's possible,
long as you got a role of duct tape.

End of the roll?

It's okay. I can work with this.

Huh?

Security drones to
the rodent's habitat!

I can definitely work with this.

Back off, spark plugs!

Face the Wheel of Doom!

Yes!

Time to bust out
those other losers.

Ain't a prison or habitat
built can keep me.

Floor, please?

Huh?

Weapons vault.
And make it snappy.

I got some collecting
of my own to do.

Welcome
to Tivan Tower,

my new permanent exhibit space

for the greatest collection
the galaxy has ever known.

A collection that now includes
the Guardians of the Galaxy.

What is this place?

It looks... nice.

Too nice.

Anything this nice
has to be a trap.

Each of you will be preserved
in a specially designed habitat.

Specially designed to achieve

maximum humiliation
and punishment

for all the one-of-a-kind
artifacts from my collection

that you have
stolen or destroyed,

and all the personal indignities
you have visited upon me.

You're not fooling me with all
this useless luxury and comfort.

What are you hiding?

Greetings,
Miss Gamora. How may I be of service?

Cool beverage?

Greetings,
Miss Gamora. How may I be of service?

Perhaps a massage?

Greetings,
Miss Gamora. How may I be of service?

Care for a manicure? Kree mineral
bath? Xandarian dressing gown?

I can make it fire hot,
ice cold, rock solid,

airy soft,
or anything in between.

Greetings,
Miss Gamora.

Greetings,
Miss Gamora. How may we be of service?

I'm sure I'll think
of something.

Greetings,
Miss Gamora.

Greetings,
Miss Gamora. How may we be of service?

This is literally why
we can't have nice things.

Coming?

One sec.

Man! The Collector must've
put you through the ringer.

Actually, I feel pretty relaxed.

Security drones,
apprehend the escapees at once!

I have important
business to attend to,

and I am not to be disturbed
under any circumstances.

I am Groot?

You are simply too
unique a specimen

not to study immediately.

I see you are in
the early stages

of one of your
regeneration cycles.

No doubt you will
be more docile.

Now, open wide and say, "Ahh."

I am Groot.

No, no, no, no, no. "Ahh."

I am Groot! "Aahh"!

That was collectible.

Perhaps we should
test your reflexes instead.

Sap!

Huh?

Hmph!

Let's try listening
to your pulse.

I am Groot!

Huh?

I am Groot.

Very well. I accept
your apology.

Security
to Collector. Sorry to report

we were unsuccessful in
apprehending the escapees.

I told you...

I am not to be
dis...

I'm not to be disturbed
under any...

circums... circumstances!

Security to Collector.

Sorry to report
we were unsuccessful...

Should've listened
to the toaster.

Easy,
bud. I'll have you outta here in a...

Eh? Well,
why didn't you do that in the first place?

I am Groot.

Can't argue
with logic like that.

Warning! Security breach!

All collectibles return
to your habitats at once!

Why would I ever wanna leave?

This place is perfect!

Whoo.

Except for one little thing.

Sweet.

There we go.

Right back in the cent... Uh...

Come on. Stay right there.

Okay.

Perfect... St... Hey!

Center!

Center! Ahh.

Center!

All right!

Now to complete the scene,

some super-awesome tunes.

Must be defective.

Okay.

Perfect except for two
little things. It's all right.

Nothing that can't be worked out with a
little target practice...

on the official Star-Lord
Super-Awesome Element Blaster Range!

Heh. Yeah,
there's always one bad coin slot.

This will require steady nerves

and two quarters.

Aha!

Awww!

Fine.

Perfect except for
three little things.

Ready
Player One. sh**t!

Aha!

Ugh!

Ugh!

"From the official Star-Lord
Fan Club Collection"?

Oh,
this can only mean one thing.

I have fans! Aah!

And apparently a lot
of fan mail to answer.

All right. You win.

It was a good idea to
bring along the Collector.

Quill,
let's go. This place is nothing

but cruel psychological t*rture.

I know.

But I'm finally getting
the recognition I deserve.

Uh...

Okay, fine. Let's go.

I am Groot.

I know,
bud. I can never unsee that either.

- Warning!
- Security breach!

All collectibles return
to your habitats at once!

Okay, people. We need to free Drax,
get to the Milano,

then make like a tree and leave.

I am Groot! What?
It's an express...

You know what?
You're worse than Drax.

Speaking
of the green cue ball,

his cell's a few
floors up from here,

on the Maximum
Security level.

I am Groot?

How should I know which
button opens Drax's cell?

I am Groot?

But I know it ain't that one!

Must be a dud.

I am Groot?

Eh, how much damage could
one blown generator cause?

Hold, furry creature,
and prepare to battle Drax the Destroy...

We need to
get Drax out of there.

Floor, please?

Maximum Security level,
and make it snappy.

Only authorized personnel
are allowed up there.

I,
uh, personally

authorize these personnel,
for I am the Collector.

Really?

You're authorizing them to
access the Maximum Security level?

Drax the
Destroyer...

does not fear...
squishiness!

Sorry. I can't authorize you
access to Maximum Security level.

Well, then,
fine. We'll authorize ourselves.

Go on. Knock yourselves out.

Heh. Must be a retinal scanner.

That's disgusting!

Did I mention the controls for the
upper floors are voice activated?

Please stop that.
It is very annoying.

Huh? I'm awake!

Fools! You cannot
escape the Collector!

Take them to Maximum Security level,
now!

Drax the Destroyer will
not go down without a fight!

Several fights, if necessary.

Ah!

Ugh!

Uhh...

What,
do I have something stuck in my teeth?

Okay. We managed to
escape the Collector's habitats.

Now we just have to get to
the roof and retrieve our ship.

Hold it, kid. I'm the one who
pushes the buttons around here.

I am Groot!

Not bad for a nonagenarian.

This is why you need
an elevator operator.

To push the right
button.

I am Groot,
I am Groot, I am Groot...

I am Groot,
I am Groot!

I am Groot?

Yes, technically,
you pushed the right button,

along with a hundred wrong ones!

You know what,
I'm gonna get the next one.

So that's where all those
missing socks end up.

Rooftop. Please watch your step.

Yes! Home free!

I told you,
no one escapes the Collector.

Drax the Destroyer
will tame this beast!

Whoa!

It is a rhinopus,
a very popular house pet among my people.

Who is a good rhinopus?

You are. Yes. You are.

No, no, no, no, no!

They are also
very easy to train.

I am Groot?

No, we can't go on "that
awesome elevator ride again."

Yeesh!

I am Groot.

I am, too, fun!