03x10 - Amends Patrol

[bunniefuu]

Hey Buddy? You okay?

It's okay.

You're gonna be okay...

- Larry?
- I'm good. We're good.

Are you all right?

This is bad.

We've been here before,
Battered, bruised.

But we lick our wounds
and rise from the ashes,

stronger than ever before.

Are you seriously trying to give
us a rally speech right now?

I am. Because that's exactly
what we're going to do.

Rally and march to Florida,
and save Cliff.

Oh, I get it.
You've flipped your pancake.

Have you not been paying attention?

The bus is totaled.

Larry's worm is going haywire.

Look at Jane!

Jane will spring back. She always does.

Everything will be fine.

It's gonna be fine. She screamed.

Kids scream all the time.

Kay?

See?

She's back, like a spring lily.

Not a moment too soon.

These two were of the mind
that we should turn around

instead of continuing
to Florida. Can you believe it?

Yeah, I don't think I'm in any shape
to help anyone right now.

So, that's it?

Are we really just
going to abandon Cliff?

We can fix this.

We have to fix this.

Don't you get it?

We didn't crash because Jane screamed

or Larry lost control of that thing.

He's right. We're not built for this.

Not anymore, no.

Since I've known you all,
we've always argued this point.

but now, I finally see
your side. Crystal clear.

We're not a super team.

Oh, no!

I thought we were done with all this.

No. Whatever you're up to,
I want no part of it.

You were unsatisfied with
the results of The Flagellation.

But if only you could see the effect

it had on people across the globe,

The only thing I saw was Laura de Mille

waltzing off completely
unscathed and unrepentant.

- You don't know that.
- Nor do you.

So, I'm going to do with my bare hands

what you couldn't with song and
dance and masked f*cking birds.

Is this what Malcolm
would've wanted for?

We'll never know.

She betrayed us all, Rita.

But I know she isn't completely lost.

And neither are you.

- Oh, f*ck!
- Bonjour, madame.

Where the f*ck am I?

This is where the Brotherhood
deposits its garbage.

What?

Look on the bright side.

I've spent the better part of an evening

debating whether or not to toss you over

and you're still alive.

Well, you best get on with it
because when I get out of these

I am going to rip you apart.

I will have your hand for an ashtray.

We had it good here.

But you have ruined everything

Now The Brain has his new body

and the cycle of conquest
will begin anew.

I realize I must put
this business of "Evil"

behind me and move on.

And so, I thank you,

for being the catalyst for my change.

Well, you could thank me by
getting me off this f*cking gurney!

You are every bit as cunning
and devious as The Brain.

Cut from the same awful cloth.

I have no doubt you'll figure it out.

Mallah!

Uh, you can't just leave me.

You f*cking son of a simian whore!

f*ck!

sh*t.

Oh sh*t!

Look, I don't know
what you have in mind,

but I'm not ready for "this".

We heard your distress.

And it was high time we find you anyway

Hey, Hammerhead?

Oh, you're gonna eyefuck me?

Hey. You bag of sh*t!

- Jane!
- Jane!

Wait up!

God damn! What the hell is that thing?

It's trying to k*ll me!

It hates me. It f*cking hates me.

Keeg doesn't hate you.

You can talk to this thing?

Keeg?

I am fluent in most languages.

Including light and color.

He needs to merge with you.

That's not gonna happen.
That's not who I am.

Not anymore.

Then he will die. Soon.

I hope you assholes are happy.

The Girl is f*cked because of you.

The Girl made it plain as day she
doesn't want us around anymore.

So, field trip's over. We need
to get everyone out of here now.

Dr. Harrison says
we are safer in The Fog.

And when exactly did you become
Dr. Harrison's little bitch?

We only exist because of The Girl.

What?

There's something you need to see.

Ooh!

Ladies!

Gary, you dog!

It's a good day to be The Brain.

You going somewhere, you little sh*t?

Holy Mother of God!

Where am I? I feel weird.

Yeah, well, you're a giant robot now

and we're about to exact
revenge on the little sh*t

that stole your body
and tried to k*ll us.

Congratulations and you're welcome!

This isn't fair.

I don't deserve this. I'm The Brain...

You're what? Dog sh*t
on the bottom of my shoe?

Uh, question. Was that the sound

of my one and only body being pancaked?

Yeah, it was phenomenal.

Next stop? Doom Manor
and Rita f*cking Farr.

Remember when we all
thought you were an Ottoman?

Oh, my God!

Are they all sick?

Jane!

I'm sorry.

I was scared.

I didn't want to be alone.

It's going to be okay.

We'll fix this.

Now is not the time for you to
burst in and rile everyone up.

- Something's happened to The Girl.
- I heard.

Good thing we got out when we did.

The Underground crumbled and collapsed.

Just like everyone in here.
It's connected.

- That's certainly a theory.
- Cut the sh*t.

What's it going to take
for you to come back

and get the others to go with you?

You're angry. I get it.

But can't you just leave
me out of your sh*t?

Sorry. This thing runs on brain power.
Even the dimmest of bulbs.

So you're sh*t out of luck.

Come on. I've known you
for a couple of days.

But that's been long enough
to know you're not

really all the way, next level "evil".

Yeah, well, I am who I am.

Bull. f*cking. sh*t. There's
always a chance to change.

Take me for example. I'm
every bit the dickhead you are.

But back in that pickle jar,

with my brain cut off
from all sensation,

I had a revelation or whatever.

I'm going to do everything I
can, work as hard as possible,

to try and change myself.

And if I can do it, I know you can too.

So stop this thing now.

Stop!

Stop!

Cliff?

What did you do?

Um...

Go!

Check it out, Shitbird.

Look who's in control now!

Cliff.

Change it back.

What? You'll k*ll me? Go ahead.
I'm already f*cking dying.

Wait.

What are you doing?

Not to say every moment
is a teachable moment.

But let's pause and celebrate the
fact that you didn't m*rder me.

Which means there's a non-fuckwad
person deep in there.

Hello?

f*ck. What do I do now?
I'm trapped in a robot body.

Wait. I'm always trapped
in a robot body.

Reel it in, man.

He's not looking too good.

In other words, time to sh*t
or get off the pot.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Am I being too contemplative

how I just parted ways with
the previous alien creature

who made me his home
for absolutely shitty years?

Look, I get it.

My uncle has a Golden
Retriever named Bo.

I loved playing with Bo
every time I'd visit.

But as I got older, Bo always
stayed fit as a fiddle.

Then, at a certain point
I finally realized it.

The Bo I was playing with at

was not the same Bo that I
played with when I was eight.

Every time Bo gets old and he dies

my uncle couldn't handle the
pain, so he gets another Bo.

- Let Keeg be your Bo.
- Oh, God.

That's kind of f*cked up, right?

To keep naming it Bo.

Yeah, it's also a gross
misrepresentation

of what I'm going through.

Look, until this moment,

every major event in my
life was forced on me.

Society forced me into my marriage.

The Chief pulled the strings to have me

cross paths with the Negative Spirit.

But if I let him in,
it will be my choice.

And if it goes sideways,
which it always does,

then I'm the only one to blame.

Maybe I should've just
left him in the woods.

To the elements.

All I've really done is just
drawn this experience out.

Hey.

Forget who you were and
the choices you didn't make.

You chose not to leave Keeg in the woods

and you're not about to
abandon him here now

because that's not the person you are.

Do you remember the conversation
that you had with your subconscious

during the Flagellation?

You told yourself that
you needed to let love in.

This is your chance.

The Spirit was closer to you
than anyone else.

It chose you.

Let it in.

Cliff.

What did they do to you?

Take a guess.

You're The Brain.

And you're Rita Farr. f*cking Garguax.

Love me.

Love me.

You're new.

Rita, you clever pain in the ass.

Madame Rouge powered up the vessel,

ready to burrow through space and time.

But then the question came to her.

Burrow to where and when exactly

Anywhere but here. Any time but now.

I need to stop myself from ever
working with The Brotherhood.

Wait. What am I thinking? I need
to go back farther. I can...

stop myself and save the others.

I can save Malcolm.

She suddenly found herself
awash in humanity.

Grasping the gilded handle
of a noble cause.

No. Further. Before I was me.

Before Rouge. Before Laura De Mille.

But then, she had to ask herself,

who was Madame Rouge before
she was Laura De Mille?

I'm not sure, but not this.

I just want to start over.

She mused. Not yet aware that
the past could not be changed.

Oh, go and sh*t in your
f*cking your hat.

She tried to play it off.

But she knew the machine
was quite correct.

What has happened will always be.

What do you mean? How do
I make things right then?

How do I make myself right? I...

I need to change. Enough with
the "where" and the "when"!

I just need some f*cking answers!

Why am I talking to
another f*cking robot?

So, where and when would you like to go?

Kay needs us. And I need
you to make that happen.

The others respect you.
They listen to you.

Why would we give up our freedom?

We can go anywhere The Fog goes.

I could just have The Fog
give you all the boot.

- She likes me.
- But she'll do whatever I say, if need be.

I want you to ask yourself,
If the roles were reversed

and we were on
the other side of the rocks,

do you think that girl would dig us out?

I know Kay well enough to know
that she would never let

any of us crumble away to nothing,

which is what happens
as long as we stay here.

Do you realize what you're
asking us to give up?

We've only just begun
to embrace our freedom.

Holy sh*t.

You don't care about freedom.

What you love is control.

You'd rather die, and k*ll
all of us, than give that up.

Or maybe we can do something about that.

Go on.

- Hurry up.
- I'm trying.

Something's not right.

It just keeps swiping at your bandages.

They're designed to be radiation proof.

Maybe they're too strong for him.

- Let me carry him.
- What? No.

Are you insane?

Just until we get back to the house
and we can use your room.

- It's radiation proof.
- Vic. It could k*ll you.

That's my choice. Rita was right.

I was afraid to go after
the Brotherhood of Evil

because I don't have my powers anymore.

I let Cliff down. I'm not about to
make the same mistake with you.

All right.

Now, we don't know each
other, but I'm here to help.

We're hearing reports of a giant robot

wandering the suburbs
of Panama City, Florida.

Ah, jeez.

Where's the Justice League
when you need 'em?

- Hey, Clara.
- What the f*ck?

- So, your dad popped by.
- Hi, honeybun.

It's me!

Dad? What the f*ck happened?

- Are you in that thing?
- I guess I kind of am this thing now.

I assumed you'd be worried

and I wanted to swing by and
let you know that I'm okay.

I even have central A/C!

And I know this is, like,
my ninth second chance,

but I came because I know

you want me to change, and I'm ready to.

Yeah, I didn't mean like this.

I know you meant "real" change.

I thought I'd start with the
good old-fashioned

"apologies-in-advance" tour.

And, you had to be the first stop.

Okay, You don't need to worry
about the credit card stuff.

We just need to get your meds checked.

This is beyond that.

I've been a shitty dad.

Way before Parkinson's,
before becoming dumb robot.

I pulled sh*t when you were
too young to remember,

but I can't forget. I guess...

I always wanted to be special.

You know? I wanted to be "the man".

I was so focused on being
great, I forgot to be good.

- It's okay, Dad.
- No, it's really not.

But I know now, the only people
I need to be special to

are you and Rory.

I don't need you be special.

I need you to get healthy.

I can do that, too! You'll see!

But I should go.

We'll have to make things right
for my friends.

And before the cops come.

I accidentally stepped on a
Prius a couple of streets over.

"I want you to know that I cherish
our time spent together

as well as our friendship,
which was one for the ages.

In the interest of offering
both of us a fresh start,

I have left behind anything
connecting me to you.

And the Brotherhood of Evil.

Best, Mallah".

Can you believe this?

- Mmm-hmm.
- A lifetime as friends and partners,

leader and acolyte,
and he skidoos on me.

I taught him everything he knows,

and all I have to show for it
is a bandolier

an extremely temperamental ray g*n,

his teleporter, and my
Alanis Morissette CD

that he assured me was stolen
from our car years ago.

Less than hours ago, I had
the world by the short hairs.

- And now...
- No legs.

Life's a bitch, right?

The good news is that I still have
the blueprints for this body.

- You do?
- I can rebuild.

But I need some help.

- Oh?
- Come on.

It's obvious you've been
dancing around the darkness.

How 'bout this? You help me rebuild,

and I'll help you k*ll Rouge.

And then, you will truly know evil.

You can... guarantee this?

That I'll get Rouge?

Miss Farr, if you team with me,
We could k*ll Madame Rouge,

Colonel Mustard and Professor
f*cking Plum for all the shits I give.

Hmm.

There we go. That's a good girl.

I suppose Rouge and I are alike.

However, we are different in one regard.

And what's that?

Rouge is driven by one thing.

Power.

She couldn't get enough.

I am motivated

by love.

My love for a very sweet,
brave man she destroyed.

And my love for my friends.

I think I'm done dancing
around in the dark.

I'm ready to take that plunge.

- Right now.
- Please. I can give you anything you want.

I can give you the world!

All right.

We're almost there.

I got you.

Here we are. Home again.

Partially safe.

- Mostly sound.
- Thanks.

Were you really just...

helping the others?

Or were you trying to draw me in?

Which answer might get you to
come and search for me again?

f*ck me sideways.

This is bad.

Finally, it's my time to shine.

From here on, we're ants.

We're going to start at the top
of this mess and dig down.

Ants, m*therf*ckers!

See? We made it. Touchdown.

Shut up.

Thank you, Vic.

I swear... I will try my best

to do right by you.

Always.

It's okay.

Go on.

Welcome.

Larry?

It's all right, everyone.

It's happening up above.

Let's focus on the task
at hand. Come on.

What the f*ck did you give up

to get Harrison to come back down?

What does she love
more than anything else?

Control.

Are you f*ck... Is she primary now?

Can you even give that away?

What's Kay going to say about this?

I'll worry about that
once I know she's safe.

That rumbling have anything
to do with your moron buddies?

What do you think?

Come on. Get back to work, everyone.

I'm no one's bitch.

Now get back up there.

Come on, get back to work.

What in the hell?

What the f*ck are you doing here?

Okay. Who exactly are you?
'Cause, I know I know you.

A note.

For me.

"You are Madame Rouge.
You are a terrible person,

but trying to change.

You will come across people
who despise you.

Jane dresses like a...

deranged sock puppet".

- Fair.
- "And Larry...

Boris Karloff".

- No, no, Larry?
- He's indisposed. He just had a baby.

It's Larry's story to tell.

"And Vic. Track suit, stick up ass".

Oh, it's you.

"And everyone hates you
especially, Rita.

You k*lled her greatest love".

Oh my God, am I that horrible?

Bitch, you turned into
a k*ller baby, so, yeah.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me
with this sh*t.

- Hey, guys! It's me.
- Cliff?

Oh. "A drug addled android".

Please don't hate me.
I've come to make amends.

I even brought back most
of the sh*t I stole from you.

Incoming!

- You're scuffing my sneakers!
- You're breaking my vinyl!

f*ck me! What's going on?

Slow down, assh*le!

I can't stop! God...

f*cking Parkinson's disease!

He's headed straight for town.

Jane! You're here!

Does that mean things
are all good with us?

Shut up and tell me
how to stop this thing.

Uh, I'm not sure.

Sort of took control from Rouge,
but I'm still figuring it out.

And I f*cked up. And I have
Parkinson's. So, there's that.

Why can't you stop yourself?

I thought you were taking
fistfuls of meds.

Well, that? That went out the
window when I got kidnapped.

and shoved into a f*cking transformer.

Can you transform?

No.

f*ck!

So, do you do anything heroic, or?

I'm still figuring that out.

Got it.

You're a useless person.

Larry?

If you're in there,
we need you to help stop Cliff.

He's the big ass robot.

That was rubbish.

Wait here.

Okay.

"These people you will meet are morons.

If they get into trouble, and they
will, you can and should help.

This is the key to your redemption".

Wait, I can help!

You're not doing anything.

You must be Rita.

It's okay. Just Flit outta
here and save yourself.

f*ck that! I am not leaving you.

Okay, okay.

One of these buttons or switches
should shut your sorry ass down.

Okay.

What's that?

What's happening?

Uh, pretty sure you just
pulled the self-destruct lever.

What?

You fucker!

I'm the fucker?
You're the f*cking one...

f*ck you! That was
a very important detail!

You don't remember me, do you?

Don't look at your notes!

Look at my face.

I want you to remember.

Malcolm! Malcolm!

How could you do this to us?

- w*apon.
- We were a family.

I destroyed it.

You built a beautiful life with Malcolm

and I destroyed it all.

I'm sorry, Rita.

You have every right to k*ll me.

- But...
- But what?

I'm not worth it.

So, we explode, destroy a baseball game,

maybe take out a mini mall.

Then NORAD scrambles the jets.

Cool! Maybe some
of those stealth bombers.

Yeah. Silent but deadly.

Well, I just wanted to say thank you.

for always calling me on my bullshit,

and for always forgiving me
for my bullshit.

Yeah, well, you're pathetic.

So it makes you easy to forgive.

That's it? That's all I get?

No.

Robot!

Cliff, stop!

We should have waited
another minute to say goodbye.

I'm uncomfortable.

Please, just shut up.

Let's explode in peace and quiet.

Cliff. Are you alright?

I want to go home.

We can do that.

Reports say the menacing
robot's path of destruction

stretched all the way from Florida,

until it was halted by a group
of super-powered eccentrics

before it could destroy
the small suburb of Cloverton.

As many will recall...

"Eccentrics"?

That's an upgrade from "misfits".

We're lucky. We could have caused
serious damage to Cloverton. Again.

Or maybe there was no damage

because we are different from
the careless, clueless people

who strolled into town the last time.

Am I the only one who is tired
of letting the world label us?

"Misfit", "Eccentric",
"Good", "Evil", "w*apon".

It's time we choose to label ourselves.

Who are we?

What are we?

Why are we?

Maybe we are weapons,

but a w*apon is only a tool as dangerous

as the hand that wields it.

What if we choose
to become weapons for good?

Are you saying you want us
to become super f*cking heroes?

So you wait until after I ditch
my gear to come around to this?

We did something great today.
We were of service.

- We saved a town.
- From us.

We're not perfect, but...

we're trying to be good,

which is more than most.

I'm in.

Yeah.

Keeg and I will give it a try.

Hell yeah! I'm all in.

I'll do it.

If you'll have me.

Are you honestly expecting me
to believe that you've changed?

I haven't.

But I want to try.

- Like the rest of you.
- I'll vouch for her.

Fine.

I suppose this is the easiest
way to keep an eye on you.

Yeah. Up, up and away or whatever.

f*ck yeah! I got our
team name. Doom Force.

It'll be sweet.

We'll get costumes with a
bunch of pockets and sh*t...

Wait, shh. Hold on.

We take you live to the Suez Canal,

where moments ago, a creature

has emerged from the Mediterranean Sea

and caused utter devastation.

Witnesses on the ground...

What kind of monster is that?

That's not a monster.

That's a big nut sack with demon pubes.

- Bingo.
- Actually,

that sack is fate.

Are we not a super team?

Do we not need a super foe?

And how do we even get to the Suez?

Oh, any chance Flit could...

I have an idea.

Where's Kay? Is she alright?

We'll get to that soon enough.

But first, we had a deal, Jane,

And it's time for you to make good.

This has to be the most people
I've ever had inside me.

Came close at an infield party
in Talladega back in the day,

but, yeah, this is the record.

It looks slightly less
scrotal in black and white.

That about covers it, right?

Looks good to me.

Everyone ready?

Hey, don't worry, buddy.

Okay. Well, I think I'd feel more
comfortable if I was driving.

You'll pilot nothing.

You are lucky to be here.

You have yet to earn the trust it takes

to steer us through space and time.

How is everything
looking down there, Rita?

We're set to arrive at the Suez Canal

three minutes into the future.

Are we maybe rushing into this?

Absolutely.

Now then, shall we?

Let's kick those balls in the nuts!

Doom Force!

No!