02x01 - This Isn't Real

[bunniefuu]

Lacey?

No... no, please!

Shh.

Why did you do this to yourself?

I'll just... I'll just
take it right off.

No!

Everybody, this is Margot
performing on the piano.

Thank you, thank you.

- I'll just talk to the manager.
- Go talk to him, yeah.

- Okay, I'll be right back.
- Yep.

Hi.

Hey.

Tim, he knows. Jason knows.

Does he know because
you told him?

- No. He asked me.
- Well, I didn't tell him.

He asked me if
something happened.

Just 'cause we're crippled

don't mean we have
to take the crumbs.

What, you got some secret way

we get back up on
the chairs now?

- New phone?
- Hey.

What the heck are
you doing here?

You didn't think I'd let
the whole summer go by

- without coming home, right?
- Um...

I'm, like, your only friend.

Oh, thanks.

This is nice.

Yeah, we could have been
doing it all summer,

but somebody had to
go back to school,

take more classes.

You sure you didn't fall in love

with some married
professor or something?

No, I don't catch feelings.
Ever.

You could come back
with me, you know?

We could get an
apartment off campus.

Margot.

Come on, I'm so
over my suitemates.

They're really lame.

Is it sweetmeats or sweetbreads

that's, like, the
neck part of the cow?

Probably breads, right?
'Cause it's counterintuitive.

It's like the whole Iceland,
Greenland situation.

All right, so you're
just gonna keep

living at home with
your mom in the past.

You really don't have to save
me from my life, you know?

But thanks.

Hey, guess who I'm
meeting up with

at Hall Pass later.

Am I literally
supposed to guess?

JT. You should come.

Ugh.

You know how I feel
about activities.

- Hey, Jules.
- Oh, hey.

Where have you been all summer?

Margot's been such
a recluse lately.

Mom!

My flight's at five,
so I'm heading out.

Try not to auction yourself
off online or anything

- while I'm away.
- Okay, we'll try.

All right, so you're
coming tonight, right?

Mm-hmm.

Come on.

When was the last time
you legit had fun?

When was the last time
that you were touched

in a non-platonic way?

I told you, nobody
understands me.

Eh, yeah, you should
handle this dry spell.

You want to start a forest fire?

You could set this whole
neighborhood on...

I did not deserve that.

Yeah, you did. You did.

Oh, my God.

Someone just sent me
this really weird video.

Yeah, me too.

Really?

Yeah.

Should we get in the water?

Uh, yes. We should
get in the water.

Okay.

Okay, ready?

Hey. What's up?

- Hey.
- How are you?

Hey, what's all that?
What is that?

- Show me.
- A snake.

Okay. All right.

That's my favorite sea
creature, definitely.

Good pirate ship, love it.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, JT, stop trying to be cool.

We knew you as a child.

We saw you go through
puberty, you know?

Sorry.

Hey, uh, where's, um, you know?

Oh, he had to bail.

Who did?

Your date.

She told me to bring
someone for you.

Margot. Margot, wait!

Wait, hey!

I didn't want you sitting
at home being grim.

Well, I have a right to be grim.

- Yeah, you do, but...
- Yeah.

I get it, I apologize,

and, you know, he couldn't
find anyone anyway, so...

Oh, makes me feel great.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm sor... no, I'm sorry.

I just... I'm not feeling it.
Can we hang tomorrow?

You leaving already?

What?

I just... I saw you walk in here

and take one look at
this place and leave,

so I figured you were
kind of a misanthrope.

Like me.

Okay.

So you're... so you're going?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm just really tired.

Um...

Well... well, nice to meet you.

I hope you get some sleep.

Night.

Ugh.

So, so tired.

All right, well, you should go.

- Have fun.
- Thanks.

- At your house.
- Okay.

- Jeez.
- Dude.

I think a little bit.

He's doing his best.

So, uh... you seeing
anyone at the moment or...

Nope, single as a Pringle.

You know.

So you're a cat person?

I like cats. They're smart.

Yeah, but guys with cats are all
like weird loners, you know?

No, sorry.

I mean, if you think
about it though,

that's kind of my type, I guess.

I always have this dream
where I get att*cked

by a horde of puppies, and
they start eating me,

and they're very cute.
It's horrible.

Okay, JT, what are you doing?

Just do it like you're...

you know, like you're
moving through water.

Instead of just, you know,
poking at the ball and...

No!

JT! What are you doing?

Don't do that.

Yeah, sorry. You're
probably right.

Too weird.

What? Come on, it's fine.

Why are you back in town anyway?

You ever heard of
the No-End House?

I have this nightmare where
I'd be at my grandma's house,

and I'd be walking down
this, like, long hallway,

and then at the end there'd
be this standing mirror,

and there would always be
someone hiding behind it.

And I'd wake up so
scared every time.

Yo, Margot, show me your phone.

Why?

Last time it was in the U.S.
was six years ago,

somewhere outside Detroit.

Since then it's been in Eastern
Europe, South America.

It just shows up.

The only advanced warning
is people in the area

start getting these teasers,
texts, a post on your Instagram.

Most people have no
idea what it is,

But in the past couple of days,
it's been happening here.

This is, like, one in a million.

Yeah, I don't even
know where it is.

There's no, like, address on it.

Yeah, the address comes later.

There'll be a commercial
or something.

I don't know.

Sounds just like a super-bougie
haunted house to me.

It's six rooms,

each is supposed to be
scarier than the last,

but it's psychological.

Gets in your head.

Everybody who goes in describes
it totally different.

Most people don't even
make it to the sixth room,

and the people who do...

never seen again.

Definitely not.

Yeah, well, you live
and learn, right?

You live and learn.

I read that the nightmares
that you have as a kid

are usually about
a fear of change.

Really?

Then mine were foreshadowing.

Do you want to talk about it?

Mm.

I don't really know you.

Yeah, I guess that's fair.

Do you remember in,
like, second grade,

they'd take us into
town to the library?

This one day Margot and I
found this book about myths,

and there was this
chapter on the succubi,

and all of a sudden

my neck and ears got all warm...

because, you know,
for whatever reason,

that was just... you know,
it was like every urge

and every impulse and
every scary adult feeling

that I just didn't
understand yet.

I can see the appeal.

Tell me something
about yourself.

I grew up in foster homes.

What was that like?

I just felt different.

You know?

Because I was always trying
to blend in, make friends,

I met a lot of different kids,
a lot of different homes.

People come and go, you know?

My dad d*ed.

What happened?

He had allergies.

Imagine dying from
something so dumb.

Yeah, he was taking these
prescription meds,

and then he had a really
bad allergic reaction,

and he f*cking d*ed.

I actually found him.

In there.

This hunter often must
begin full sprint

from a half mile out

just to hope to catch a
single member of the herd

who got caught flatfooted
just a moment too long.

And even with the
long lead time,

cheetahs can spend
up to two miles

in full-sprint pursuit

before needing to
rethink and regroup.

The TV was still on

like he had just fallen
asleep watching it, you know?

It was last year,

and I was supposed
to be home by ten.

I always just think, like,

if I had actually just
been home by ten,

maybe...

Or maybe not.

I'm getting chilly.

How you doing? I knew
this was my day.

What... what do you want?

That's an easy question.

But I'm in a little
bit of a hurry,

a little bit of a rush.

You... you're the convict.

I was, but I'm out now.

I'm gonna stay out.

And you're gonna help me.

You better get out of here.

My husband will be
back in a few minutes.

Now you see, you're off
to a bad start already.

Your...

Out to get the harvest.

Well, I think it was...
it's an Egyptian invention.

Oh, right.

Margot?

What's up?

I don't know, man.

- It's kind of a trip, right?
- Yeah, this place is dope.

Hey, how was it?
You guys have fun?

Oh.

You all right? It's okay.

Okay. Ooh.

I heard they use
subliminal images

and sub-aural sound waves to
make you more vulnerable.

Totally messes with
you psychologically.

Could you simmer down, JT?
It's a haunted house.

They just tricked you into
thinking it's special

'cause they didn't invite you.

He wouldn't even
tell him though.

- No way.
- That's crazy.

Oh.

- Okay.
- Here we go.

Hey, man. How'd you
hear about this place?

Been looking for it.

- Come on.
- You're gonna go in for sure?

Yeah.

We heard it's crazy in there.

Boo!

I also heard they spray the
area with a hallucinogen,

so we're all gonna be tripping
by the time we go in.

Oh, yeah, it makes
perfect sense.

- Ready as I'll ever be.
- Sure.

You guys gonna make it
through all the rooms?

Hell yeah.

Whoa.

Wait. Already?

Damn, did it eat them?

You scare easy?

It depends on the type
of scare, I guess.

I guess we're gonna find out.

This isn't very scary.

Mitch...

it's you.

- Oh?
- Oh, my God.

- Here's you, Tamara.
- Here's me.

Oh, my God.

I mean, it kind of
looks like me, right?

- That's insane.
- I think that's yours.

That's crazy.

That's weird, my
phone's freezing.

Mine too.

So wait, how did they
do this so fast?

They must watch us
while we're in line.

Use some kind of 3-D printer

and software that
translates our image.

f*cking wow, dude,
this is brilliant.

I don't like this.

There should be an exit light.
Where's the exit light?

- Where's your hand?
- What?

It reminds me of that Douglas
Gordon installation, you know?

Mine's fine.

I want to know how
they did that.

You know what? No,
forget it, I'm out.

Don't smirk like that.

They must have permits
for this place.

I mean, the city must
know about it, right?

Yeah.

There are no windows.

You a cannibal?

You okay?

Margot?

Guys, they're just actors.

They're actors. Relax.

Yeah. I mean, they've got to be.

Right?

Yeah, this is amazing.

So confrontational.

Margot?

Ready? Next room?

You guys should leave.

What?

Go on, it's not too late.

All right.

You think he was an actor too?

Or just some crazy guy.

Yeah.

Hey, Margot.

Hey, what... what did he
say to you back there?

He said, "Welcome
back, Martian."

Martian?

Let's go home.

Margot.

No, I want to know.

Margot!

Can you hear me?

Margot!

Margot!

And I was supposed
to be home by ten,

but I wasn't.

I always just think, like,

if I had actually just
been home by ten,

maybe...

Ha ha! I win!

- I have water in my ears!
- Which one?

Dad, we get it. Don't... stop!

Cool. Thanks, guys.

- Okay, throw me high.
- Ready, ready?

Hello there.

Hello there, Margot.
How are you?

I better clean up before dinner.

What's the first
rule of the pool?

- Don't go in by myself.
- That's right, that's right.

What's the second
rule of the pool?

Don't run by the pool.

You're so smart!

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

You're so smart.

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

Cream and sugar?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- Cream and sugar?
- How are you?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- Cream and sugar?
- How are you?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- How are you?
- Cream and sugar?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- How are you?
- Cream and sugar?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- How are you?
- Cream and sugar?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- How are you?
- Cream and sugar?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- How are you?
- Cream and sugar?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- How are you?
- Cream and sugar?

Hello there. Hello
there, Margot.

- How are you?
- Cream and sugar?

Hello there, Margot.
How are you?

- Cream and sugar?
- Hello there, Margot.

How are you?

No... no, no!

I want to go home!

You have to go through

to go home.

One, two, three.

You really think they would
have left before us?

I don't know.

God, it's almost dawn.
What time did we get here?

I don't know how much
time really went by.

Okay.

Are you serious right now?

Hey, um, I know I
never really ask

because I just figure if
you wanted to bring it up,

you'd bring it up,

um...

and I know it's been more
than a year and everything,

but sometimes I just wonder

how you're doing
with everything.

How are you doing?

I'm okay.

You wanna just crash here?

Oh, yeah, I got some
clothes in my car.

Walk of shame backup. Nice.

What shame?

Hey, Martian. How
was your night?

Dad?