04x06 - Polytropos

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Casual". Aired: October 2015 to July 2018.*
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"Casual" centers on a newly divorced single mother living with her brother and her daughter. Together, they coach each other through the crazy world of dating while raising her teenage daughter.
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04x06 - Polytropos

Post by bunniefuu »

["Kodiak" by Ultimate Painting playing]

♪ ♪

JAMES: ♪ Just leave my name ♪

♪ Never before have I seen ♪

♪ A void like this ♪

♪ Staring out into this wise ♪

♪ The eyes of suspense ♪

♪ Covering the lines in my hands ♪

♪ So Kodiak ♪

♪ Gives up the ghost tonight ♪

♪ Break through right ♪

♪ Breaking in sunlight ♪

♪ Never before have
I found my way down ♪

- Ova, make two espressos.
- [electronic chime]

OVA: Coming right up, John.

[coffee machine whirring]

Wow.

She does, like, everything you ask, huh?

It's consensual.

Maybe you should follow her lead

and take my car on your trip.

Nothing like a luxury vehicle

on a road to hell.

You won't regret it, I promise.

The car or the trip?

[laughs]

I keep telling myself,

"Don't worry. It's three against one."

And surely, the emotional damage

- is done by now, right?
- Tell me this isn't

the greatest espresso known to mankind.

Ova, shower on in the master bath.

OVA: The shower is heating up.

Ova,

what horrors does my mother
have in store for me today?

OVA: I'm sorry.
I can't answer that question.

Then you're no good to me.

[jaunty music]

♪ ♪

It's pretty good.

♪ ♪

There will be no questions in any format

until I deem myself fit to respond.

Also, I must be fed and watered

with relative frequency.

These are the conditions
of my participation,

and there's no room for negotiation.

Got it.

You look like you were

dragged through a hedge backwards.

That was a statement,

not a question.

[plucked string music]

I'd like a banana
strawberry sandwich, please.

Mom wants a banana strawberry sandwich.

Oh, there we go. That's a good piece.

- Mm, mushy.
- Mm, yeah.

RAE: Beautiful.

Do you want to maybe

talk about last night, or...

Yeah, it feels like we probably should.

- Right?
- Right.

'Cause this

kind of pretty big thing happened.

Why are bananas yellow?

That's a good question,

- Monkey.
- That is.

[clears throat]

Uh, "Bananas turn yellow when they ripen

"due to the decreased amount
of chlorophyll,

in a process similar to leaves
turning from green to red."

However, "Not all bananas
turn bright yellow,

"and some varieties have red,
purple, or green skins,

even when ripe."

I like bananas.

- RAE: [laughs]
- Good.

Um...

So... sorry, you were saying?

I, uh, was n...

no, I thought you were saying...

- VALERIE: We're here.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- What?

ALEX: Yep, your best friend.

Look who it is!

Is that who I think it is?

Auntie Val!

Hi!

I like bananas.

What? Oh.

Carrie, you're not going
to believe this,

but I like bananas, too!

She's gone banana-crazy this morning.

Oh, do you want to get up?

How can I say no?

Are you ready to rock this?

Yeah, let's do it.

- Yeah?
- What happened to her?

Oh, the accused is not
taking any questions.

I see some bananas for the
road I wouldn't mind taking.

RAE: All right, uh,
give my love to your mom.

Absolutely not.

So I'll, uh... I'll see you when you

get back?

Yeah.

- Definitely, yeah.
- Okay.

Okay, um,

boop. [laughs]

- Ah, bye.
- ALEX: Yeah.

VALERIE: Thank you.
I am going to cherish this

forever and ever.

She doesn't give them out to everyone.

- No?
- No, very rare.

Oh, why thank you!

Go to Mama.

Okay.

Have fun.

Oh, thank you.

Bye, Rae.

- RAE: Bye!
- Bye, Carrie.

Okay, let's get this over with.

Let's go.

[quiet upbeat string music]

ALEX: Has anyone seen my car keys?

I'm driving.

♪ ♪

Uh, what?

♪ ♪

I mean,

if you're gonna have a midlife crisis

15 years ago,

this is the car for it.

I actually like the Defender.

Classic off-roading vehicle.

But I guess that's not John's thing.

Vinyl was an interesting choice, huh?

Not a ton of leg room, is there?

Think that might bother me.

Yep, it would.

Oh, wait, sh*t.

No USB port

for my "Road to Nowhere" playlist.

Kind of a bummer.
I spent a decent amount

of time on that.

Guess it's Top 40
and religious rock radio

for us.

[static over radio]

Hm, that's weird.

No radio presets.

[radio beeps]

Should we get CDs?

I'm thinking best of The Eagles.

[laughing] Oh-ho!

I've hit the mother lode.

Is that a cognac tan?

Okay, you know what?
How about you just sit here

in this luxurious, high-end vehicle

and enjoy the ride.

Fine.

[sighs] Laura, you want some water?

[retches]

- Oh.
- LAURA: [retches]

- sh*t.
- [Laura whimpers]

LAURA: Ah.

I told you I should've sat in the front.

Oh, it was that f*cking banana.

This is a bad omen.

Ever since we got in this car,
things have been off,

and not just the upholstery.

What if this awful car
is trying to send us a message?

What message?

[deep voice] "Stay away, children.

Quit while you're ahead."

What about "Hey, kids,
it's been four f*cking years.

- Get it over with"?
- Four years.

- Wow.
- Look.

Mom's our Olympics.

We've been training for this.

This is our sh*t

and if we miss this cycle,

she might be dead.

I can make peace with that.

Okay, everyone,

big news.

I'm not going to puke again.

Right, I'll alert the media.

Look, Val, we tried. Let's just call it.

Oh, come on, Alex!

All for one, one for all.

There is no I in "team."
We're stronger together.

All right, I'm having flashbacks

- to JV basketball.
- Okay, get in the car.

Can I drive?

Fine.

ALEX: Yes!

[light rock over radio]

How you doing over there?

Two thumbs up.

[laughs]

Hey, remember the time
I got food poisoning

from a squid in Maui?

Oh, yes. The purge.

LAURA: What happened?

Mom made him eat more squid.

- [laughs]
- [mouths] Oh, my God.

She suspected I'd been possessed

by the Hawaiian god of the underworld.

Oh!

both: Kanaloa.

Kanaloa! That's, uh, who she used

to pray to when she drew her baths.

Sure. God for every occasion.

God.

Um, do you guys remember

when Mom told me at Dad's funeral

that he wasn't actually my dad?

[laughter]

I do.

Oh, halcyon days.

Ah. [laughs]

"Oh, Valerie. He's not your father."

ALEX: You know,

it is nice to leave LA
sometimes, isn't it?

Makes me miss it.

- Been gone three hours.
- [cell phone vibrates]

I really like where I live.

Oh, yes.

Nice.

Are you sexting at the table?

Uh, no, the interior designer

sent over some graphics.

I thought you were
the interior designer.

I am, but...

uh, John has a person

I'm using as well.

Uh, okay, so...

just scroll, and then you can see

what the store looks like now.

Okay.

[entry bell dings]

LAURA: His person is way
more modern than you.

VALERIE: Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to mix it up

a little bit.

I liked the pink wall idea, though.

VALERIE: Mm. Do you like the taps?

Do you? Because I was on the fence,

and now I think I'm just starting
to come around on those.

LAURA: I mean, I know they're a thing.

Um, I gotta go to the bathroom.

Oh, okay.

Wait! Hey, hey.

- Wait, wait, wait, Alex.
- ALEX: [laughs]

This is a work in progress, okay?

What do you think?

"Under the Tuscan Sun"
meets "Basic Instinct."

It's a bold statement, at least.

- Do you like it?
- Sure.

John's new store looks great.

His celebrity friends
are really gonna love it.

If you like it, I like it.

I do like it.

Pay the check.

[country music over radio]

[jaunty music]

♪ ♪

Mm.

♪ ♪

Man, what is his problem today?

There was, like, so many things
I could say to him.

At least I'm trying to change my life.

I mean, hey, Alex,

who d*ed and made you the spokesperson

for healthy relationship choices, huh?

Did "The View" call

and ask you to comment on...

I don't know, monogamy?

[toilet flushes]

No, they did not.

You okay?

Yeah. You know, just your average

existential crisis hangover.

You want to talk about it?

'Cause we got some hours to k*ll.

I'm okay.

You know, Alex's problem

isn't with John.

It's with Rae.

Why? I thought they were okay.

Clearly, 'cause after the party ended,

they had sex with each other.

No.

Didn't you see their good-bye?

That awkward nose boop?

And she was wearing the same clothes,

and he's a teenager
with no subtlety, so...

[jaunty music]

♪ ♪

I'm driving.

Cool.

Hey, um...

when did you tell Rae
we'll be back tomorrow?

I said around lunchtime.

Cool, cool.

So did you have a chance to talk to her

after the party, or...

- Yeah, she was good.
- Oh, good.

- Oh, that's great.
- Mm-hm.

Friends first, right?

Yes.

Yeah.

'Cause you wouldn't want to do anything

to f*ck that up,

like...

um, sleeping with her last night.

[sighs] Jesus, I knew it.

For your information, she kissed me...

- Oh.
- And she was sober.

Oh, okay. Well, that changes everything.

Uh, it does. How many times

have you had sober sex in your life?

Really? That is completely

beside the point.

No, it is the point,

and by the way, the sex was great,

and everything's working out
like it should.

Oh, yeah? Then how come it was

so awkward this morning

when you were, like... did that little

f*cking finger boop thing.

You know, every once in a while, Alex,

I think "Wow, did he really
listen to me?

This time, it's gonna just
be different."

I am so sorry you don't approve.

I guess I'm not allowed to love
the mother of my child.

No, just convenient
that you declare that love

as soon as she finally gets a boyfriend.

Actually, she and Jeff
had a fight last night.

Oh, okay. All right, never mind.

Sorry. All's well.

- What are you doing?
- Well, because...

I mean, you know...

You know what this reminds me of?

Don't f*cking say it.

What? You're Sarah Finn'ing her.

Sarah Finn is not a verb,
and this is nothing like that.

Except it's exactly that.

Heaven forbid I might have
actually learned something

from what happened with Sarah Finn.

You never learn anything.

What are you talking about?

As... you... all you ever do

is just push all your feelings
onto everybody else,

and then as soon as anybody
tries to love you back,

you just self-destruct.
[ratcheting sound]

Why is it doing this?

- What is that noise?
- I don't know.

- What did you do?
- I didn't do anything.

- Just what's that noise?
- Did you hit the gear shift?

I didn't touch a f*cking thing.

God damn it.

Does anyone else feel like the gods

are conspiring to keep us
from our destination?

Oh, finally.

[low rustic guitar music]

♪ ♪

Nice knowing you.

Howdy! Haven't seen one of those

in a while. What'd you all do to her?

VALERIE: I don't know.
She's working fine,

- and then all of a sudden...
- Starts sputtering,

- and it stopped.
- CY: Stopped?

Yeah, in the middle of the road.

Did you fill her up with, uh,
pump gas, unleaded?

- Yeah.
- CY: Yeah?

Well, that was a bad idea.

Oh, you m*therf*cker.

That is both a ridiculous place

and font to put it in.

LAURA: We are gonna be so late.

ALEX: We should've turned around
when you vomited.

- It really was a sign.
- LAURA: Oh, no, you don't.

This is a you problem, not a me problem.

I got distracted at the pump.

There was a woman.

A woman?

You don't say.

Well, she

was not of this world.

Well, there's good news and bad news.

- Uh-huh?
- The good news is

I'm gonna have your t*nk
flushed by sundown.

- Okay.
- The bad news is

you may have compromised
your fuel system.

Um...

What does that mean?

Means you might need a new fuel pump,

filter, injector, spark plugs...

You know, I'm not gonna know
till I take it apart,

but that's gonna be
mañana at the soonest.

You know, there's a, uh,
motel down the road

and a pretty decent bar and restaurant

across the street.

Tell them Cyril sent you.

- All right, thank you.
- Yeah.

Sorry, sugar.

Ah...

This feels like good news, right?

I bet good news.

[muted string music]

VALERIE: Call Mom.

ALEX: I'd really rather not.

VALERIE: Why? She loves to hear

about your failures.

ALEX: If we'd brought my car
in the first place,

we could be there in person
to tell her about

all your errors in judgment.

Eh, I'll text her.

VALERIE: Check us in.

ALEX: God.

I mean, did I do anything so wrong?

LAURA: I mean...

Hey, uh... [laughs]

You were right.
That car's a dream to drive.

Um, in fact,

I may not give it back to you. [laughs]

Anyway... oh, I love

the graphics that you sent over,

so, uh, call me and we can
go through them.

Okay. Bye.

[calm classical music over speakers]

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Oh, um, sorry. Could you please, uh,

bring me a very large glass of red wine?

Thank you.

Oh, God.

Whatever.

sh*t.

Is that her?

Yeah.

LAURA: Um, I see what you mean.

She's highly distracting.

- Right?
- Yeah.

Well, too bad you're off-limits now,

Casanova.

Ugh, God, I need something
for this hangover.

- Do you mind?
- Okay, I'm fine.

[quirky acoustic music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- MAN: Hi, how can I help you?

Get, uh, two rooms, please,

and could one of them...

specifically mine...

be as far away as possible

from the woman who just checked in?

♪ ♪

Thank you.

[rock music over radio]

♪ ♪

- Hey.
- Hi.

You got something to cure a hangover?

Dealer's choice.

Uh, do you want to slip

gently into a sweet oblivion,

or feel like you've taken
a heavy-duty tranquilizer?

Both.

♪ ♪

- Thank you?
- BARTENDER: Thank you.

♪ ♪

[classical music over speaker]

♪ ♪

CY: How you doing tonight, Kassie?

What do you got for me?

Uh, it's the bison burger.

Medium rare, and my wine.

- You know it.
- All right.

[cell phone vibrates]

♪ ♪

- Hey.
- Hey!


- You there already?
- VALERIE: Um...

No, no, no. We just, uh,

just making a quick little pit stop.

So you want to keep her, huh?

VALERIE: Huh? Yeah, I do.

Um...

You know, Alex really likes her, too.

JOHN: Well, he can't have her, either.

Right. Well, he was asking

- about the diesel...
- JOHN: Well, you know,

before the whole world went electric,

diesel was considered an ethical choice.

Did you ever accidentally, like,

you know,
put gasoline in the t*nk, or...

JOHN: Uh, once.

- Yeah.
- What happened?

Just got it drained.
It's not a big deal.

So...

didn't need new spark plugs or anything?

JOHN: Oh, babe, diesel engines
don't have spark plugs.

[laughs]

Really?

♪ ♪

[ukulele music]

♪ ♪

[phone chimes]

["Shake" by Nathaniel
& The Night Sweats playing]

♪ ♪

NATHANIEL: ♪ Shake, baby ♪

♪ I feel you when you shake, baby ♪

♪ I really want to ♪

♪ Shake baby ♪

["Why Not Tonight" by Jimmy
Hughes playing softly]

JIMMY HUGHES: ♪ To deny ♪
♪ Your feeling, yeah ♪

♪ When you know ♪

♪ It's just a matter ♪

♪ Of time ♪

♪ Oh, why not ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Oh, why not ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Don't push me away ♪

♪ When you know I'm right ♪

♪ You know ♪

♪ You want me ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Not tonight ♪

♪ ♪

[slow dance music playing]

♪ ♪

[classical music over speakers]

♪ ♪

Hey, darling.

How you faring out there in the world?

Well, you know, I could be better.

Yeah, well, let me just say,

I'm gonna get to the Rover
first thing in the morning.

I know what this looks like, but...

It's a school night. Don't worry.

- [laughs]
- Okay.

I appreciate your help,

but I want my car,

and I want it tonight.

Well,

you know, my mommy used to say, "Son,

sometimes you ain't gonna get
what you want."

♪ ♪

But I tell you what'll help.

Little of this. Come on.

This is the good stuff.

♪ ♪

Come on, now.

Ah, yeah.

♪ ♪

NATHANIEL: ♪ Get on your knees
and come to me now ♪

♪ I hope you really like to swing wild ♪

♪ Why don't we step just see now ♪

♪ Curl your lips gonna be while ♪

Do an old-fashioned, please.

BARTENDER: Mm-hm.

NATHANIEL: ♪ Stick out your hip
and squeeze me a while ♪

♪ Curl your back, start to swing now ♪

♪ And let me think it's what you mean ♪

♪ Shake, baby ♪

♪ I feel it when you ♪

♪ Shake, baby ♪

[sighs]

JIMMY HUGHES: ♪ Why not ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Oh, why not ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Don't push me away ♪

♪ When you know ♪

♪ I'm right ♪

♪ You know you want me ♪

♪ So why not tonight ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Your soft lips reveal ♪

♪ All your feelings ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I feel them tremble ♪

♪ When they're ♪

♪ Crushed under mine ♪

♪ Why try to deny ♪

♪ Your feelings, yeah ♪

♪ When you know ♪

♪ It's just a matter ♪

♪ Of time ♪

♪ Oh, why not ♪

CY: Oh, and I know what you're thinking.

"A one-eyed mechanic?

"That guy can probably
hardly drive a car,

- let alone fix them."
- Mm-hm.

But no, it's, uh...
ever since I lost my eye,

all my senses are heightened.

Oh, so that's how you smelled
the gasoline.

CY: Exactly, yeah. I don't really have

the best, uh, what do you call it,
depth perception,

but I don't need it. You know?

Yeah, no, I'm just...

in tune with the world, man.

Can you excuse me? I'm just gonna...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Go to the ladies'.

- Go do your lady business.
- Gotta do my business.

Powder your nose.

Gotta do it.

CY: [laughs]

["Juvenile Thrills" by
The Launderettes playing]

♪ ♪

WOMAN: ♪ What's that book
you're reading ♪

♪ Upstairs in your room ♪

♪ Been out here for hours ♪

♪ Wanna have a look at you ♪

♪ Hiding behind the trees ♪

♪ Hoping that my wish comes true ♪

♪ I'm on the outside, looking ♪

WOMAN: ♪ Staring at you ♪

WOMAN: ♪ I'm on the outside ♪

♪ And I'm not... ♪

[gravel crunches]

♪ ♪

♪ You know I'm waiting ♪

♪ For nothing to happen ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, can I get a vodka soda, please?

BARTENDER: Yeah, sure.

[country rock music over speakers]

Okay. Enough.

What are you, huh?

Some kind of siren?
Is that what this is?

Y-you're tempting and you're testing me?

W-well, I'm not gonna do it.

Okay, no, no, no. Don't go anywhere.

We're gonna talk. Ever since we got

to this stupid f*cking town,

you have been everywhere,

w-with your face and your body

and y-your hot tubbing.

W-what's going on?

I have someone waiting for me at home,

someone I love very much,

and nothing you can do

will make me want to have sex with you...

[sputters] f*ck!

[coughing]

- Alex?
- Is that Laura?

Laura, help! Laura, I'm down.

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

You know, he's been
following me all day,

staring at me while he pumps his gas,

spying on me in the pool.

He's f*cking everywhere.

- ALEX: You were beckoning.
- Oh, my God.

I was being polite.

ALEX: My whole skull is on fire.

LAURA: Okay, I'm sure she'll be...

- Is that her?
- LAURA: Yeah, that's her.

VALERIE: Guys, we gotta get
the f*ck out of here.

Come on. Come on, come on, come on.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Do I even want to know?
- Just drive.

- VALERIE: Okay.
- ALEX: Ah, God...

- VALERIE: Are you okay?
- ALEX: No.

VALERIE: Ah, God, Alex, what did you do?

ALEX: I was assaulted.

LAURA: This chick nailed him
with pepper spray.

- VALERIE: No!
- LAURA: It was f*cking cool!

So then I swiped the keys,

and I broke into the place

like a real f*cking outlaw,

and I used the car lift and everything.

I can't see you right now,

but I'm assuming you're smiling?

I am, triumphantly.

[clears throat]

We're not going to Mom's, are we?

Oh, God, no, not tonight.

We're going home.

Maybe we'll go next year,

or the year after.

Oh, man.

Sorry for being shitty
about John earlier.

He obviously makes you happy, and...

a relationship's
about two people, right?

Collaboration and compromise and...

all that good stuff?

Okay, you're clearly delirious

and in need of medical attention.

No, seriously.

I felt bad at the diner
as soon as I said it.

Well, okay.

And as long
as we're being sentimental...

I'm sorry I doubted
your feelings about Rae.

Only you know how you feel about her,

and it's not on me to tell you
what to do.

I mean, you're a grown-up.

Sort of...

a grown-up.

Thank you, I think.

Yeah,

and I think she's really gonna like

the pepper spray story as much as I did.

It really f*cking hurts.

Oh, thank you.

- You ready?
- Uh-huh,

and I'm driving.

Thank you.

So I just dump it in my eyes?

All right, put some music on

and get us out
of this godforsaken place.

["In a Big Country"
by Big Country playing]

Oh, no!

[radio beeping]
["In a Big Country" continues]

♪ ♪

So it's gonna take what,

like three hours to get home?

Yep.

Good.

'Cause I'd like to talk
about some stuff.

What kind of stuff?

Life stuff.

Tathiana stuff.

["Going Back to My Roots"
by Odyssey playing]

Okay.

All right, well,

lay it on me, sister.

♪ ♪

ODYSSEY: ♪ Zipping up my boots ♪

♪ Going back to my roots ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ To the place of my birth ♪

♪ Back down to earth ♪

♪ I've been standing in the rain ♪

♪ Drenched and soaked with pain ♪

♪ Tired of short-term benefits ♪

♪ And being exposed to the elements ♪

♪ I'm homeward bound
got my head turned around ♪

♪ ♪
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