04x07 - All About You

[bunniefuu]

[mellow music]

sh*t.

What do you want for breakfast,
Care Bear?

Pancakes.

Mommy's not making pancakes.

How about some applesauce?

ALEX: Oops.

[laughs] That's... honest mistake.

I'm, uh, I'm very kissable.

- Yep.
- Can we just...

can we maybe not do this
in your pantry/panic room?

Totally. Let's do it on a date.

- Smooth.
- Think about it.

We do everything backwards...
living together, sex, children.

A date is just the next step
in our natural regression.

- CARRIE: I'm hungry.
- Uh, yeah, I'm coming.

Come on.

If you don't like it,
I'll never ask again.

For at least two weeks.

Okay. You're not giving up, huh?

Nope.

Okay, fine.

Just no beach bars,
craft beer, or Hootie.

- Rae, I'm not a bro.
- You're a dad bro.

That's what happens when bros have kids.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

[alarm rings]

Did you hit snooze or off?

- Off.
- Really?

Maybe I hit snooze.

Can we talk about setting
realistic alarm goals?

Huh?

Like, if you wanna get up at 7:30,

could you maybe not
set the alarm for 6:45?

Yeah, but I like
to ease into my morning.

But I wake up and then
I can't get back to sleep

and then I move, and then you wake up,

and you think it's intentional,

and then my first feeling
of the day is guilt.

Also, can we
spend the night at my place,

like, once in a while?

'Cause Malibu is so far away.

Of course. I'm so sorry, okay?

I didn't know about the alarm thing.

- Mm.
- All you had to do was ask.

Thank you.

All right, well, I'm up.

Let there be light. Ova, turn up.

OVA: Good morning, John.

[blinds whirring]

[smooching]

Hi.

Surprise.

That is the word for when someone

shows up at your door unexpectedly.

Um, I got you this.

It's stupid and small,

which is coincidentally
how I feel right now.

- How are things?
- A little busy at the moment.

- Is that her?
- No, it's my ex-girlfriend.

- HENRY: Why?
- I don't know.

- HENRY: Is she tall?
- Uh, no.

HENRY: How about skinny?
She's skinny, right?

- TATHIANA: She's...
- Uh, what's going on in there?

Our fit model is a no show,

and we have a critique tomorrow,

and Henry's about to have an aneurysm.

HENRY: f*ck it. Does she have legs?

If she has legs, I'll put her on a box.

I can stand on a box.

Pajama day. That's fun.

I slept on your couch.

- Leia and I are splitting up.
- Very funny.

Hey, where do you take someone on a date

when you actually care about them?

This is all very new to me.

We're going to see a mediator.

Hopefully it'll be amicable.

Wait, seriously?

Oh.

You two are the paradigm,
the pinnacle...

[stammers] The... I can't
think of another p word.

- But this feels wrong.
- Maybe it's right.

We moved so quickly
that we didn't consider

that we might have
wanted different things.

So, what, you're just gonna

find another woman
and have a child with her?

Maybe. I don't know.

Worked for you.

- Leon.
- Oh, I'll be fine.

Go on, enjoy your date.

Take her somewhere that she likes.

♪ ♪

- [device beeps]
- No breathing.

You are one with the pin.

One with the pin.

Little breath in. Yes, there we go.

And out.

[exhales]

This will work.

I think that if we
pin in the back a little bit

so that it's a little tighter.

WOMAN: Absolutely. Yeah.

The hardest thing will be shared assets.

Receipts help.

And if there are certain objects

or pieces that you want, make it known.

You don't wanna
move into your next place

and realize you don't
have your favorite chair.

I don't have a favorite chair.

- Me neither.
- I have a favorite plant.

You can keep the plant.

TANYA: What about bank accounts?

Anything in both your names?

Just a checking account.

TANYA: Cut it in half. Easy peasy.

And you said no children?

- No children.
- TANYA: Great.

That makes this all
very easy... relatively.

Pew, pew, pew, pew. Pew.

- You guys heading out?
- Let the mystery date begin.

It's gonna be fun. We'll have fun.

There are kid snacks in
the pantry if she gets hungry,

but she'll probably
just go down any minute.

I let her run around the park off leash.

Also, our phones
will be off for a few hours,

- so if anything happens...
- We will handle it.

I know, it's hard to believe,

but there's actually
people walking around

who were raised
before cell phones, right?

Millions of them voted for Donald Tr*mp.

Actually, text me hourly updates.

Okay, you. We're off.

Bye. [smooches]

Bye, love you.

- Okay.
- All right.

Have fun you two. You look adorable.

Bye.

- After you.
- RAE: [indistinct]

So where are we going?

Third Eye Blind show.

Sister Hazel's opening.

[chuckles]

[laughs]

[sighs] Ah. Okay.

I'm glad we're doing this.

Yeah, me too.

[radio playing softly]

Is she asleep?

Mm-hmm.

You know what I think we should do?

What's that?

I think that we should
raid Alex's wet bar...

Mm-hmm.

And then take ourselves a hot tub.

- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.

- That's perfect.
- Yeah.

I wanna go for a quick run,
then come back,

soak my muscles in the tub.

Wait, you're gonna go for a run?

Yeah, it's Thursday.
I always run on Thursday.

Isn't it sorta dark outside?

And you don't really
know this neighborhood.

The streets are very, very windy.

It's the Hollywood Hills.
It's not Aleppo.

- I think I'll be okay.
- What are you gonna do?

- You gonna run in your jeans?
- [laughs]

No, of course not.

I have shorts and shoes in the car.

I'll be fine.

I'll be back before you know it, okay?

- Okay.
- Fire up that tub.

RAE: You hate horror movies.

ALEX: Generally, yes, but you love them.

And just this once,

I'm willing to overlook
your questionable taste.

And who knows? Maybe I'll like this one.

World looks different every day, right?

I mean, five years ago,
you were my Airbnb guest.

It could've been anyone in the world,

- but it was you.
- [soft chuckle]

- Hey.
- Yeah?

I'm really glad that we're a family,

with our perfect little girl.

What's that they say in "The Road"?

"We're carrying the fire."

I like that. "Carrying the fire."

[sobs]

[sniffs]

I still think it's too much.
Make it thinner.

I don't want it to dominate.

[sewing machine whirring]
WOMAN: So maybe do it...

Just do it like that.

Oh, thanks.

You don't have to stay.

Well, he's gotta do a final fitting.

Yeah, but he can do it on me.

It's fine, really.

I... I wanna be here.

Why?

I like standing in silence,

playing out what I'm gonna say
to you as soon as we're alone.

That's a long time to practice.

It better be good.

[soft quirky music]

♪ ♪

[shutter sound]

He got offered a job in Austin...

some teaching thing with a tenure track.

The film scene's growing.
They need crew.

And he could transition,

and I could maybe
become a department head.

I wanted to tell you, but, you know,

you said all those wonderful things,

and I thought, maybe I could stay.

Maybe nothing has to change.

Maybe, you know,
we could just be together

and it'd just be really easy and good.

[sighs]

But I do think I wanna go to Austin.

And I want Carrie to come with.

But I don't know
what that means for you.

[voice breaks] I'm really sorry.

[sniffs]

[sobs]

[door clicks]

[Al Green's "How Can You Mend
A Broken Heart" playing]

♪ ♪

AL GREEN: ♪ How can you mend ♪

♪ A broken heart ♪

Wine or whiskey?

AL GREEN: ♪ How can you stop the rain ♪

Okay.

Rae's in love with Jeff,

and Jeff wanted them to move to Austin,

and she freaked out,
which is why she slept with me,

and now they aren't speaking,

and she and I...

are...

I don't know what we are,
but it doesn't look good.

You okay?

I don't know.

Are you angry?

Surprisingly not angry.

Anger would be the obvious emotion,

but no.

Okay.

I'm definitely sad.

[soft laugh]

I'm really, really sad.

Yeah, you can be sad.

- [sighs]
- It's okay to be sad.

- You know what's weird?
- Why don't you tell me?

Like, I'm sad for me, obviously,

because it's sad
when the person you love

tells you they're in love
with someone else.

But,

I think I'm more sad for her,

because she's in pain,

and it's my fault.

- It's not your fault.
- I could've just said nothing.

I could've put those feelings
onto other relationships,

until they went away, and I didn't.

Well, sure, but would've
felt it every time you saw her.

- You always would've wondered.
- Okay.

But now I'm wondering
what happens to us,

because this is the one
I couldn't f*ck up,

and...

I f*cked it up.

You'll find a way.

You always do.

I don't know about that.

How was your night?

Not as eventful as yours... [sighs]

You two have fun playing house?

Where is John, by the way?

He better not be going through my sh*t.

- Oh, holy sh*t.
- What?

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct PA announcements]

Thank you.

Hey!

So I take this corner down the hill,

and of course, the shoulder
is narrowed down to nothing.

And I'm feeling good, you know?

I'm pacing at 6:45. I'm running strong.

So I make the push,
I try to burst out of the turn,

and then all of a sudden, headlights.

Mm.

The guy was driving dead center.

Oh, no.

Probably bridge and tunnel,
lost on his way to Sunset.

Anyway, I didn't have any time to think,

so I just took a leap
off the side of the road,

and I must've clipped
a rock or something.

Oh, my God.

When I woke up, I was in an ambulance.

Honestly, I'm grateful
that they called it in,

'cause I could...
I could still be out there.

I knew it.

I mean, these canyon roads at night...

they're a real death trap.

It was a freak accident for sure,

but I guess we have to accept

that some things are out of our control.

But running in the dark,

that's in your control though, right...

I think it would've happened regardless.

I think it was fate.

Okay, so,

how long do you have to stay here?

We can go now. They discharged me.

- They did?
- Yeah.

Hey, is it okay
if we stay at my place tonight?

I just really need to be in my bed,

with you.

Yeah, of course.

Thanks... [groans]

TATHIANA: Do you
feel ready for tomorrow?

[scoffs] Not even close.

[laughs] You are ready.

Thank you, Laura.
You're a passable mannequin.

LAURA: You're welcome.

Wow. Did you hear that?

"Passable mannequin."

A new career path reveals itself.

Yeah, put it on my resume
above "turnip polishing."

[chuckles]

I guess I should open this, huh?

It's nothing.

One more for the wall.

[laughs softly]

You could've texted or called.

You didn't have to stand around all day.

Text apologies aren't real apologies.

So, yeah.

I'm sorry.

I just...

I was really immature about everything.

I reacted poorly and
I'd like to make it up to you.

Can I take you to dinner?

I'm seeing someone.

It's early, but it's something.

Oh, okay.

But if you're okay with that,
I could do dinner...

just maybe when it's not
six hours from a critique.

[chuckles] Yeah, that would be great.

- You sure?
- Totally.

Just let me know when,

and, uh, good luck tomorrow.

Okay... [chuckles softly]

[mellow music]

- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

♪ ♪

I don't wanna say I saw God or anything.

That's too much, but I felt something

while I was lying on the ground

waiting for the ambulance to come.

There was this spirit or this aura.

It was just willing me to go on,

endure.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How'd you sleep?
- Great.

Well, I'm sorry about the alarm.

My head feels like Swiss cheese today.

I'm gonna go out for a quick run,

and then I'm thinking maybe
we could do a late breakfast.

Oh, and don't worry...
I'll watch out for headlights.

♪ ♪

Hey.

- Mommy.
- [laughs] Hi.

You ready, Care Bear?

- My jacket.
- Okay.

[sighs softly]

Hey.

Let's go to Austin.

[sniffs]

[sobs quietly]

[gentle guitar music]

ALEX: Okay?

♪ ♪

[horn chirps]

Is Jeff here?

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, bud.

Look, I know I'm the last
person you wanna see

right now... [grunts]

[hisses]

[groans]

[panting]

Are we okay now?

I think so.

All right.

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

Are you trying to hurt yourself,

'cause that's what it feels like lately.

LAURA: Agreed, you've been
acting particularly stupid.

Huh.

LEON: Well, it's better
than trying to drive

into a bloody wall.

Thank you all
for your unwavering support.

It'll get good light there.

Hey, at least we get a pity dinner.

♪ ♪

Hey, will you...

- will you chop these for me?
- Oh.

Thank you.

How's John, by the way?

He's good. He should be here soon.

- I heard he almost d*ed.
- Is that what he told you?

Yeah, he posted this
weird Instagram story

with a bunch of religious iconography.

I'll pull it up for you.

Oh, my God. He got four stitches.

He didn't even spend a night
in the hospital.

God, I'm gonna go insane. I really am.

One of these days, I'm just gonna snap

and I'm gonna go crazy and
you're gonna have to visit me

in the asylum 'cause
God knows nobody else will.

I'm just gonna...

[package thuds, Kn*fe clatters]

- I'm just gonna cut these.
- Okay.

It... it was life-changing.

- Life-changing?
- Absolutely.

Honey, would you say
I'm someone who's generally

in control of his life?

I guess, I... - Exactly.

I'm an answers guy.

How much will it cost to remodel?

What's our turnover rate?
It's my bread and butter.

- Pun intended.
- Ha.

Then something like this happens,

and you're not in control,

and there are no answers,
it starts to make you think.

Excuse me.

What...

Oh, a cheese plate. Cool.

What are we in control of?

Anything?

[soft music playing]

Deep breaths.

- Please, put me to work.
- We're basically ready.

Oh, my God, Laura, this looks amazing!

No, we'll see how it tastes.
I'm a little rusty.

- Teach me your ways, daughter.
- [laughs]

[doorbell rings]

Um, will you
bring these out to the table?

Yes.

Hey. You got this.

- Yes.
- Okay.

♪ ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hi.

Mm, come in.

Oh, this is intimate.

Oh, well, um, you sort of
caught me off guard,

and I didn't wanna miss my window.

But hey, compared to them,
I'll seem totally sane.

Tathiana, you remember Alex?

Hi. Sorry about my face.

Oh, nice to see you again.

- This is Leon and his plant.
- TATHIANA: Hi.

LAURA: And John is my mom's boyfriend.

- Hi.
- Hi, perfect timing.

We need a new perspective.
Just to catch you up,

I got in a little bit
of a running accident.

Hence the stitches.

They're under here, I could show you...

Okay, I think we're ready to eat.

Mm, great.

I'm so ready. Come on.

- After you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my god, this looks amazing.

[all talking at once]

So, uh, where was I?

Uh, did I say I was running?

- So, I was running...
- Sweetie.

And there's a bit of a visibility issue.

John, sweetie, I think we've
all heard enough of this story.

You fell and you hit your head.

But you're all better now,
and that's the important thing.

Yay, so, let's, uh,

now enjoy Laura's amazing dinner.

LAURA: Let's start... uh, bread.

- VALERIE: Yay...[laughs]
- LAURA: Mushroom mélange.

How was your critique?

Well, the dresses held together,

- so that's something.
- Mm.

Did Henry do okay?

Henry got in a screaming
fight with the fit model,

and they had to be physically separated.

- Oh, wow.
- He says hi, though.

- Tell him I say hi back.
- [cell phone buzzes]

[softly] Oh, excuse me.

- What's up?
- Um, nothing.

Sorry.

I may have to leave early.

All good.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Leon?

It's gonna be okay.

I know right now it feels not okay,

but I think that's gonna pass.

Thank you,

but I don't know if that's true.

Excuse me.

[clears throat] Hey, Val.

Can I... can I talk to you for a second?

In private?

The mushrooms are great.

♪ ♪

Earthy.

I hit my head, and I'm better now?

- What?
- That's what you said...

that I hit my head, and I'm better now.

Is that not how you would describe

your current state of being?

No. No, it's not.

Do we need to go to the hospital?

[scoffing]

John, I don't know what
you expect from me right now.

- A little empathy...
- Really?

Would be nice... yeah.

Instead of diminishing my experience.

You had four stitches,

and you went running the next morning.

Wow.

And I rushed to that hospital
in a state of panic

after telling you
not to run in the dark.

And when I got there,
you were hanging out,

taking a selfie.

I had a traumatic experience, okay?

I don't know if it was technically

a near-death experience,

but it's the closest thing
I've ever had to one,

and it affected me profoundly.

And I'm doing my best
to share my emotions...

- Mm-hmm.
- With you.

The least you could do
is meet me halfway.

- Meet you halfway?
- Yes.

I don't think that's too much to ask.

[laughs] Okay.

And now you're laughing at me.

No... [laughs]

- What is that?
- [giggles]

[knocking]

Leon?

- ALEX: Hi, Leia.
- Is he here?

Oh, yeah. I think he's in his office...

I'm not doing it, okay?

All my life, I have been

surrounded by people
who have given up on me,

but you don't get to do that,
not like this.

- Can we, uh, do this in the...
- I don't wanna have a baby.

I wish that I did,
but right now, I don't.

But also, everyone says when you hit 35,

your biological clock
turns into Big Ben, so...

Big Ben is silent now.

Ugh, whatever.

I have all of these new clients,

and all of our friends that
need our emotional support,

and all the alerts on our phone
that tell us every single time

we auto-pay a bill we can barely afford.

I don't know if
I'll ever hear the clock.

Maybe. Or maybe I'll change my mind.

I don't know, but I just need us

to take this one day at a time.

Please.

I know you want a family,

and I want you to have everything,

but I need you to hang in with me, okay?

We are a family.

I love you. That's all that I know.

I love you too.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

Do you want some food?

[laughs, sobs] I do.

- I really do.
- Okay.

Um, there's some mushrooms
that are very, very tasty.

[sniffs] Mushrooms?

I know, but they're really good.

[laughter]

- She's gotta head out.
- All right, nice to see you.

- Bye again, good to see you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I didn't even know
you could do probiotics.

- You do probiotics, exactly.
- You do them?

You were not kidding. [laughs]

We're an acquired taste.

[chuckles]

I liked it.

And I liked eating your cooking again.

Yeah, yeah.

Um...

Listen,

I kinda do this thing

where I cycle through people.

Like, we dance to song,
and when the song ends,

I move on.

But...

I really don't wanna do that with you.

I want you in my life.

And if that's as a friend,

okay.

But please don't be a stranger.

Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

BOTH: Good night.

[indistinct chatter]

[Van William's "Revolution"]

Let me help you? Let me
help you, help you with it.

- I don't know.
- What?

I don't know.

♪ ♪

VAN: ♪ Lost my valentine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You could never
keep my meaning straight ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And I won't wait in line ♪

♪ ♪

♪ For you to give me any time of day ♪

♪ I want a revolution ♪

♪ You want a short solution ♪

♪ We never could see eye to eye ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You wanted retribution ♪

♪ I came to the same conclusion ♪

♪ It's a story as old as time ♪

♪ I heard you crying in the other ♪

♪ Roo-oo-oo-oo-oom ♪

♪ ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

[dramatic musical flourish]

[bright tones]