03x08 - Venus

[bunniefuu]

VALERIE: Previously on "Casual"...

- LAURA: We have a rat!
- Jack is bringing traps.

I miss us, and I know
that with my celibacy,

that I couldn't ask you to try again,

but I want to... try again.

VALERIE: You and Casey
seem really close.

Yeah, I guess so.

Something going on with you two?

What do you mean?

VALERIE: You know, you have a tendency

to sort of complicate
relationships with sex.

Wow, that's so sad
that's what you think of me.

My girlfriend, she's
threatening to go full Ophelia.

You are shouldering too much weight.

Just tell Val. She'll understand.

Mom told me you have a half brother.

[coughs]

It's crazy, right?

I have to...
take a rain check on this game.

I've had a really long week,
and I'm so tired.

- Did you talk to Val?
- Mm-hmm.

What, weight lifted or...

No, not exactly.

[beeping]

["Nimble Girl" by Hotel Eden]

♪ ♪

HOTEL EDEN: ♪ Confess
to the nervousness ♪

♪ As we stumble to the close
of a troubled chapter ♪

♪ These months have been fun,
but we're done ♪

♪ Now the truth burns through ♪

♪ It's a total disaster ♪

♪ But if you could see ♪

♪ What your eyes reflect
from your soul ♪

♪ It's revealing ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Nimble girl, show me love ♪

[lively rock music]

♪ ♪

- Oh!
- Oh, sh*t!

I plant these cans
on behalf of Clan Cole.

Ahhh!

Ah!

♪ ♪

BOTH: f*ck!

Okay, all right. This is fine.

It's a terrible mistake,
but we were drunk

and high on rat death euphoria.

- Oh, gross!
- Gross?

Oh, a f*cking bro, Rae...

Please tell me we didn't f*ck
to Matchbox .

How dare you?

God. Don't look at me. Turn.

I've already seen everything.

Do you remember it?

Not really.

I've got perfect nipples. Turn.

- All right.
- Gross.

God, you look like the villain
from "Legally Blonde."

Gross.

You said "gross" three times now.

All right! Don't.
Don't look. Don't look.

Look, I'm just saying this as a friend.

You should buy a toenail clipper, okay?

[sighs]

God damn it.

[timer beeping]

God, shut the f*ck up, oven.

I see you two have finally met.

[sighs] Surprise!

Ugh! Is this pathetic or what?

It depends what you're trying to do.

Well, I'm trying to do
a room service thing,

since you used to love that,
but we don't have any trays.

Oh, no, I'm fine. I'm not hungry.

You're not? What?

I mean, you don't want anything?

No, I'm good.

I hate to waste it.

Oh, I'll pay you back for it.

I don't want you to pay me back.

Mom, I'm f*cking with you.

I don't make any money, remember?

[doorbell rings repeatedly]

_

_

Rule number one: never f*ck a roommate.

I should be restrained at night,

chained to the wall like the Wolfman.

That was Benicio, right?

And Emily Blunt phoning it in?

How far we've come.

Okay, I need to re-home her.
Can she stay here?

Not if she's in heat.

Come on. I need a game plan.

Why don't you make her breakfast

and have an honest conversation
about what happened?

No, terrible idea.

Agreed. Ignore her.

Normalize the transgression,

and gaslight her
if she brings it up again.

- Laura.
- You should run for office.

So what are we doing today?

Korean barbecue? sh**ting range?

Korean barbecue at a sh**ting range?

Well, Laura and I are looking forward

to doing a staycation kind of thing.

We're gonna just watch TV...

Actually, I'm heading over to Dad's,

but I will take this donut, thank you.

Hey, are you sure it was Rae you f*cked?

Or was it Tybalt, the sorcerer?

Ha ha ha.

[door closes]

Did you know

that for a large portion
of his adult life,

Jack Nicholson thought
his grandmother was his mom

and his mom was his sister?

Oh.

That why you didn't tell me about
my half brother, the mystery guy?

Afraid of upending
my thriving acting career?

[sighs]

I just wasn't sure
you would want to know.

Oh, really? Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

But now that I do know,

I should probably look into it, right?

I mean, for Laura's sake?

In case she needs a kidney or something?

Yeah, good thinking.

Probably best to start
harvesting those organs now.

Yeah.

I really should.

CASEY: Hey.

Hi.

Cool place.

Thanks. Happy to provide asylum.

How's your mom?

Well, I'll head back home

as soon as her bitterness fades
to exhaustion.

Jane, Dylan, Nigel, Laura.

Hi.

So what's on tap for the day?

Well, I have this interview thing,

but you're welcome to hang
as long as you'd like.

Cool.

Um, you have...

Do... do you need...

A tampon? No, not really my thing.

Gotcha.

That's... cutting out the middleman.

Hon? You're up in the shower.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

- Elena, Laura.
- Hi.

Oh, you're Casey's girlfriend. Hi.

Her wife.

Oh.

It's nice to meet you.

[light music]

[scoffs]

Oh, hi. It's Alex Cole calling.

No, this has nothing to do
with reverse mortgages.

Yeah, I'm Dawn Cole's son,

trying to contact old friends,
lovers, whatever.

Is Gary there?

No, I'm not asking for money.

[loud whirring]

You know what? Forget it.

Enjoy the time you have left.

Hi.

Hiya.

Hello, young man.

That's a fun and loud toy.

I'm training him
for future government work.

Clark, honey, why don't you play
one of your games, okay?

I don't normally bring him
to the office,

but his dad's running
a bit behind today.

- Dad's not coming.
- Yes, he is, Bear.

You always say that.

Seven out of the last ten times,

he hasn't shown up at all.

He's very good at data collection.

Can he spreadsheet? Put him on payroll.

I wish, but child labor laws.

I'd go to jail, and he'd just end up

dating bacon-withholding women.

- This is so boring!
- Clark...

I hate your office.

Do you really want Alex
to see you like this?

This guy? I don't care about him.

- Clark.
- It's okay.

I don't care about me either.

I'm just gonna... Yeah.

Sorry.

You know, maybe just to spite Alex,

I'll track down my half brother
and throw him a party.

Do it as a pay-per-view event,

and charge money, make a little cash.

Yeah.

Nah, never gonna look for him.

Really?

No, it's a no-win.

I mean, if he's happy and successful,

it'll just be this painful reminder

of what could have been.

If they're a bunch of losers,

then you got to worry
about shared genes.

Yeah, exactly.

Best-case scenario is, they're normal,

which would be just boring.

Don't you kind of want to know

what your original surname is, though?

Like, what if you have
an awesome last name

like Bonvillain or McClintock?

- What if you're a McClintock?
- I don't know. It could be terrible.

I knew a Gracie Cumster
in middle school.

[laughs]

Oh, whoa.

- What?
- Uh...

- Mapplethorpe?
- Oh, sh*t, of course.

What kind of Mapplethorpe
we talking about here?

I don't know. Is it portraits, sculptures?

Tulips and assholes.

Oh, got the whole potpourri.

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

- You know what?
- What?

- I hate tulips.
- Really?

Yeah, it's a terrible flower.

And my great-great-great-great-
great-grandmother was Dutch.

- What?
- And when the bubble burst,

she got real f*cked.
She was on the streets for a while.

She took a hit. Yeah, yeah.

- So I can't do this.
- I'm so sorry.

Thank you. Yeah, out of
principle, I shouldn't do this.

- Yeah, no Mapplethorpe.
- No Mapplethorpe.

- How about coffee?
- We could do coffee.

- Okay.
- And talk about...

- Hey, we're not gonna do Mapplethorpe.
- No.

As much as you guys try to make us,
we're not gonna do it, okay?

Kitchen's just like the one
in "Downton Abbey"

but less modern.

Oh, is it private enough
for hushed gossip

about the Crawleys?

[chuckles] Did you hear

Lady Edith was sent to hospital again

for f*cking another horse?

That's ten this week.

- [laughs]
- My goodness.

Speaking of...

Oh, you're just gonna saunter
through here, d*ck swinging,

like you didn't use
all our hot water again.

And I'm invisible.

What am I? Elena?

Dude, seriously.

Usually Casey at least
mentions the green card.

Which is super insulting, by the way.

They don't f*ck
like a green card marriage.

Now I feel bad,

like maybe I missed something she said.

Oh, doubt it. Casey's like a dude.

Adjusting the facts as she pleases.

And gone three nights a week.

Well, I'm pretty sure

she's just sleeping at work, right?

On a pillow of intern vag*na.

Classy.

You watch lactation p*rn.

Wait, what?

Aw, you homesick, Dylan?

- Oh, sh*t.
- [laughter]

[door opens and closes]

Just, I am trying to talk to you.

[muted conversation]

- Just stop.
- Here we go again.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm here.

No, I'm not Valerie.

I'm looking for her
baptismal birth certificate.

Hang on just a sec.

Hello?

Eric doesn't work here anymore.

Hello? You there?

Pastor?

Come on.

JUDY: Clark, please, just...

You were supposed to take me
to the aquarium, Mom.

I know, but I...
what do you want me to do?

What can I do?

What can I...

Clark.

I mean, I've only known
the guy for nine years,

and I knew he'd blow it.

What's your excuse?

[phone ringing]

Take it. I got this.

Ugh, thank you.

This is Judy.

Aquarium, huh?

What's the point?

Global warming's gonna get us anyway.

You're right.

But Florida will be the first to go,

literally underwater,

electoral votes set free,

which shifts the map,
maybe slows things.

- Still...
- I know.

Even if we fix it all tomorrow,

the sun will still expand,
boil our surface water,

and turn our planet into Venus.

Scary and inevitable.

But given our history of innovation,

maybe our descendants,
even your anxious grandchildren,

will have found a way
to move on to other planets.

I guess that's kind of cool.

That's very cool.

And the interplanetary exodus,

total bonding moment.

There'll be a space-wide love fest.

[phone buzzing]

Hang on.

Hello.

Oh, Gary!

My man!

Yes! Can you email me the photo?

All right, yes.

Great. You're an absolute lifesaver.

Here we go!

Photo of who?

My sister's birth father,

who is...

Not that guy.

sh*t.

Oh, man.

Okay, okay.

What do we know?

Val's born in ' .
Mom's already a groupie.

- What's a groupie?
- A slut for musicians.

- Like John Mayer?
- Exactly, yeah.

Now, who was Mom stalking in ' ?

"Born to Run" is out,

but E Street Band's a boys' club.

Kiss, maybe?

No, Mom frightens too easily.

' , ' , ' .

Oh, yes. Fleetwood Mac.

Who's Fleetwood Mac?

[outraged] Who's Fleetwood Mac?

Jeez, look at this
incredible awkwardness here.

"Plan going as intended.

"I'll get her

"some very early-morning
Cabernet Sauvignons

and impress her with the fact
that I know the word 'Matisse.'"

- Mm-hmm.
- Little fake phone call alert.

"Please, somebody call me.
Somebody be dead."

And just like that,

we've run out of everything to say.

- Try one of these.
- Hmm? Oh.

- They're good, huh?
- Oh, very good.

So I don't mean to sound overly
clinical here, but, um...

how is... how's this gonna work?

I mean, obviously, no penetration.

Shoving meat in your mouth

was a little suggestive, wasn't it?

[laughs] Just a smidge, maybe.

I... we're waiting.

Right.

- That's all.
- Uh-huh.

Is anybody else... waiting?

Just you.

And... and we're waiting because...

- I'm rewiring.
- Yes, right.

'Cause I want, you know,
the next time around

to be about us.

I want the sex to be,
you know, about us.

Yeah. Thank you.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

Yes.

I mean, it's just,

when I think about our time together,

it was spent doing... things.

And I just... I'm trying to picture

how to be with you
and not do those things.

But there's... we can do
different things.

There's, you know, knitting, gardening.

- Those are all on the table.
- Right.

Board games. Most board games, anyway.

And we can do things
like this, you know.

Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Aw, Alex would love this rug.

How's he holding up?

Uh, tortured,

living a life of unspeakable privilege

and just depressed enough to resent it.

Who's Alex?

Oh, her uncle.

His house has incredible water pressure.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that's Ben.

I really love your house.

Make yourself at home.

Right, so you want
to talk about burners?

We'll talk about burners.

You want to talk about fracking?

I want to talk about the
city council meeting next week.

Oh, okay, whatever you want.

Um, if you get bored,

there's mailers in the living room or...

Cool. I'm on it.

WOMAN: Frequently employing photographs

from local publications,

Jude constructs a visual language

that, placed in sequence, tells a story

that might seem out of place,
mysterious...

the duality of the urban and rural,

the bustle of city life
and the solitude of the outdoors

often juxtaposed in a single frame.

Born in Los Angeles in

but raised in rural Idaho,

Jude took inspiration
from his dichotic upbringing

for his landscapes, portraits...

Excuse me.

WOMAN: Snapshot of America

captured in democratic and observant...

Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

WOMAN: The world of his childhood.

In the desert, Jude explores
some of his earliest memories.

ALEX: They were the biggest,

and they didn't need
the internet to get there.

"Rumors" sold million copies
in its first year.

That is a staggering number.

Justin Bieber's last album
streamed million times.

Mm-hmm, don't ever mention them

in the same sentence again.

Sorry.

Now, "Tusk" sold
million copies, a ton,

but that was considered a failure.

That's how big Fleetwood Mac was.

And the entire time...
I'm talking decades here...

they were partying harder than anyone.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Why are you giving
my nine-year-old a music sermon?

We're trying to find
Alex's sister's dad.

Oh.

Is your mom still alive?

I think so.

Could you ask her?

But we've been having so much fun.

[Fleetwood Mac's
"Second Hand News" playing]

You really should ask her.

I know, Clark.

WOMAN: from Paris's
Museum of Decorative Arts,

Rodin's sculpture depicts a scene

from "The Inferno,"

the first section
of Dante's "Divine Comedy."

The shades, or the souls of the damned,

were meant to stand
at the entrance to hell,

staring down at those who would enter.

Asked to conceive
of an inviting entrance

to a planned decorative arts museum,

Rodin chose the shades

but was unable to complete the project

before his death in .

Even before this commission,
Rodin had developed...

[fast-paced guitar music]

Too divorced from reality.

Printed in "Le Matin" in ,

Rodin said, "For a"...

[sighs]

[soft music]

♪ ♪

Where'd he go?

Oh, he said something

about an assh*le with bad
taste in music and took off.

Oh, that's funny.

Bathroom.

I'm sending you a playlist.

Make sure he listens to it in order.

No shuffling, no skipping,

as it was meant to be heard.

Did you put any Foreigner on there?

Watch it.

Hey, have you thought about

limiting his internet use?

I think it might be making him paranoid.

Hmm, I heard

that Florida's doomed
and we're turning into Venus.

But what was that? Less internet?

I should write that down.

- Good night, Judy.
- Godspeed.

[light guitar music]

♪ ♪

[music intensifies]

♪ ♪

Can we go?

- Yeah.
- Leave?

Are you okay?

You know, the end of my marriage

was a relationship without sex,

and it was not pretty.

I felt really alone

and undesired,

and I just... I just don't think

I should start something new
in that place.

That's not us, though.

But I... I think the smartest thing

is to table this until
you're on the other side.

Oh.

Okay. Um...

I feel like this assh*le

who's just throwing pebbles

at the window of your halfway house

and begging you to come out
and do an eight-ball with me,

and nobody likes that guy,
including that guy.

I get that, and I appreciate it,

but what do you want?

You want to take a few months off

and see where we're at or something?

I think that would be best.

Okay.

Okay.

Uh, so I guess I'll see you around.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[soft music]

♪ ♪

You know...

I was like you...

, trying to make my mark.

But it left me lonely.

And then I meet this woman

who suddenly treats me
like I have something to offer,

like I can make things happen.

One morning, there's a knock on my door,

and... and she's holding
this Joni Mitchell CD,

tells me to listen to the song "If,"

based on the Rudyard Kipling poem.

Kipling says that
if you endure long enough,

you inherit the Earth,

but Joni Mitchell says
that that's bullshit,

that young people need to wake up,

fight.

She makes you cum in ways
that you never thought possible.

She performs Reiki
that cures your migraines.

She cries mid-story, and you think

that you're the only one
who's ever seen her tears.

And then, like the Sun, she sets on you,

shines on someone else.

That's just what she does.

I've never had a migraine.

Lucky you.

Good news and bad news.

Bad news: your biological dad
is no longer with us. Sorry.

It was a car accident, though,

not some scary genetic thing,
so that's good.

That said, if you want to spit in a cup,

I'm happy to go down that road for you.

Anyway, good news:
I found your half brother.

And he's in Fresno,
which is weird but great.

It's close. [clears throat]

And I mapped out some stuff
for us to do along the way.

They've got yurts,

three-star glamping.

No.

I thought you wanted this.

No. Why would you think that?

- Because you said.
- I didn't say.

Alex, this is my thing!

Mine.

And you can't just
f*cking insert yourself.

This is when you leave.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Wow.

Don't get too excited;

this is an intervention.

- Foreigner?
- [laughs]

Were you raised in a roller rink?

- Guess what.
- What?

You can use your regular voice.

Clark can sleep through anything.

Oh, I'm not doing this for Clark.

I've been told
I sound like Harrison Ford

when I speak in hushed tones.

[laughing] I'm sorry.

That's... that's not even remotely true.

How dare you?

Who told you that?

Several people have told me.

Mm, I doubt it.

["Free Translator" by The Books]

[light guitar music]

THE BOOKS: ♪ And I see, and I see ♪

♪ And I see, and I see ♪

♪ And I see ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The hold-out boy and the weathergirl ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Know the wind moves in a patient way ♪

♪ Like a two-decade day ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The man in the mouth of a drain ♪

♪ Laughing and chewing erasers ♪

♪ Like a black dog in the snow ♪

♪ Write in relief and sleep again ♪

♪ And you can't believe your eyes ♪

♪ And you can't find your pen ♪

- ♪ The man in the hole ♪
- _

♪ Is your new friend's friend ♪

♪ Write in relief and sleep again ♪

♪ And you get in the hole ♪

♪ With your new friend's friend ♪

♪ And he can't believe his eyes ♪

♪ And he can't find his pen ♪

♪ And the meteorological man ♪

♪ With a whirlwind girl ♪

♪ And a mote in the sun ♪

♪ And a squid in a bag ♪

♪ And a raccoon hat ♪

♪ And a talking plant ♪

♪ And a careful goat ♪

♪ In a sewer system shaft ♪

♪ And I see ♪

♪ And I see, and I see ♪

♪ And I see ♪

♪ And I see, and I see ♪

♪ And I see ♪

♪ And I see, and I see ♪

♪ And I see ♪

♪ And I see, and I see ♪

♪ And I see ♪