03x12 - 99

[bunniefuu]

VALERIE: Previously on "Casual"...

- $ for the lot.
- I need at least $ .

How about I give you $ for the table?

So why you going to Sac-to?

LAURA: Volunteering.

So you're leaving tomorrow?

Why are you being crazy right now?

Can we just have a nice evening?

[mellow music] _

♪ ♪ _

VALERIE: Hi, this is Valerie.
I'm not here right now.

Please leave a message.

I'll make breakfast.

Oh. No, I have to pick up Clark.

Oh. You still have that son?

Hey, this is Alex.
Leave a message. Or don't.

I'll look at my call log, decide
whether or not to call you back.

Stop ignoring me.

This is what you wanted.

You and Jack are happy.
Me and Judy are happy.

Everything's working out.

[men singing in Spanish]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ ♪

[breathes sharply]

♪ ♪

What time's the movie?

: .

In the afternoon?

Yeah, it's a matinee.

We have volleyball this afternoon.

Yeah, don't worry. We're gonna make it.

We're just going for the previews.

What are you talking about?

I have no interest in seeing
"Meet Joe Black."

We're going to see
the "Star Wars" trailer.

"Episode I."

You're gonna pay $
to see a movie preview?

Mm-mm, $ .

It's a matinee.

This is stupid.

I've been waiting years for this,

and it's finally here,
and it's gonna be awesome.

Darth Vader as a little kid.

Huh? Kid Vader.

You get to see how he becomes
that spooky shitty dad.

I wanted to see "Meet Joe Black."

Well, that's ridiculous.

You're gonna pay to see a movie preview.
You're ridiculous.

Maybe this isn't working.

Whatever.

You're just gonna play "Mario Kart"

while we're dining?

Brad Pitt pays Death.

Like, Death, Death.

He gives up all his powers
to come to Earth

to find his one true love

and then comes to question
his position on mortality.

I want my sweatshirt back.

[Local H's "Bound for the Floor"]

♪ ♪

Them shits is impossible.

Thanks.

♪ ♪

MAN: ♪ Born to be down ♪

♪ I've learned all my lessons
before now ♪

♪ Born to be down ♪

♪ I think you'll get used to it ♪

- ♪ And you just don't get it ♪
- Hey.

Hey, didn't we meet at
the Kappa Sig luau last week?

Grass skirt?

MAN: ♪ You know you're so pathetic ♪

[Tori Amos' "Pretty Good Year]

♪ ♪

AMOS: ♪ Tears on the sleeve of a man ♪

♪ Don't want to be a boy today ♪

My life is over.

You watched "Legends of the Fall" again?

You're such a f*cking guy.

You're such a f*cking guy.

That's unfair. I'm just...

I don't know. What band broke up?

[sighs]

AMOS: ♪ Greg, he writes letters
and burns his CDs ♪

♪ They say you were something
in those formative years ♪

♪ Hold on to nothing ♪

Two stripes.

Oh, f*ck.

AMOS: ♪ Still, pretty good year ♪

You weren't, like, pulling out?

- Gross.
- Alex, I'm smarter than that.

Most of the time.

Sorry.

You told Mom?

She doesn't know I'm active.

Probably doesn't think
you're active enough.

AMOS: ♪ Is gonna bring you back,
back, back ♪

What did Drew say?

- f*ck Drew.
- No, it's not his fault.

We just weren't careful.

He doesn't know.

You gonna tell him?

AMOS: ♪ Well, let me
tell you something ♪

[lively music playing]

♪ ♪

Did you try more than one?

Like a second opinion?

Sometimes they come in two-packs.

- Like f*cking Pop-Tarts?
- Exactly.

- No, thank you.
- No, thanks.

Do you mind?

Sorry.

What do you want to do?

Why is it my choice?

I thought that was the whole thing.

Your body, your choice.

Oh, that's convenient.

I'm not ready to be a dad.

Well, I guess we both
should have thought about that.

We did think about that.

[scoffs]

What?

We always use a condom. Alway...

The odds of something happening
in the first half are nothing.

The back half is the dangerous half.

You don't have a very precise
gauge about what is half.

Do you want to be with me?

Like, do you want to, like, be with me,
be with me?

I hadn't thought that far
down the line, I guess.

Okay.

I mean, there's still things
I want to do.

Do you mean like there's other
people that you want to do?

No, I mean...

I don't know.

Maybe. I don't know.
This is all confusing.

I just...

[sighs] I just... I just need
some time to think about it.

Yeah, I guess we...

I think we both should take

a little time away from each other.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

- That's pretty shitty.
- I know.

♪ ♪

Why are we seeing "Meet Joe Black"?

We're leaving
after the "Star Wars" trailer.

[sighs] "Meet Joe Black"
doesn't look very good.

We're not staying for it.

Well, I just don't know
if I feel really good

about giving them my money.

We can see "The Waterboy" instead.

Adam Sandler is a waterboy.

Yeah, that sounds better.

Okay. Two for "The Waterboy," please.

You feeling okay?

No, not at all. Like, not in any way.

- Drew's a d*ck.
- I don't blame him.

I mean, been together a year.

It's like, he had plans. We both did.

Plans change. People change, sort of.

I don't have to have it.

I could get my master's,

meet someone in a few years,

try again when I'm, you know,
more ready.

Is that what you're thinking?

I don't know.

Why are you trying to solve that?

'Cause it's mocking me.

Well, just get a book
and learn how to do it.

That's cheating.

No, that's how people
learn to do things.

I should just know how.

It doesn't work that way.

_

That was f*cking awesome!

Oh, my God, this is gonna be amazing.

This is gonna be the best
"Star Wars" film ever.

Holy sh*t!

Holy sh*t! Wow!

Sorry. How are you feeling?

Still pretty overwhelmed
about the whole pregnancy thing.

Of course. Sorry.

Real quick... what'd you think?

Not bad.

What?

Pizza and egg rolls. Nice.

Mm-hmm. She has to start eating for two.

Healthy.

Yeah. I'm an awesome mom.

You took care of me.

Mm, that was different.

This one might listen.

What if I don't know how?

What if our role model was just so bad

that I just, like...
just, like, f*ck her up?

Her?

I'm just picking a gender at random.

You're not gonna f*ck her up.

[Folk Implosion's "Free to Go"]

♪ ♪

MAN: ♪ I didn't leave my room
till I learned how to drive ♪

♪ I was sweet ♪

[Sugar Ray's "Every Morning"]

♪ ♪

- Bonjour.
- Mm.

- [chuckles]
- I prepared breakfast.

MAN: ♪ Do it again ♪

Why?

I'm being domestic.

You don't know what that even means.

- Come on.
- Mm?

I think we could do this.

Together.
If you're planning on keeping her.

Her?

Yeah, I trust your intuition.

Mm.

Okay, what are you suggesting?

Oh, I just want to help.

I'm into it.

And I owe you one.

That's very sweet.

Very misguided.

Did you... [laughs]

Did you microwave this?

Yeah.

You're supposed to toast it.

The box said you could do either.

- It's really disgusting.
- It's not that bad.

Yeah, it is. It's bad.

I have to go to the doctor.

Oh. I'll take you.

On your skateboard?

I'll accompany you.

Great, thank you.

It's cold.

Mm.

Adorable.

What a proud father.

I'm her uncle.

Hmm.

Is there anything wrong with her?

It's a little early,

but she looks healthy
from what I can tell.

How old are you?

Um, .

I'm .

[smooth music playing]

♪ ♪

I'm not that hungry.

I know someone who's hungry.

- This is weird.
- It's not that weird.

I can tell that you probably
think that this is like

a really fun project and beats
thinking about finals, but...

it's not a hobby for me.

- It's, like, the rest of my life.
- I know that.

You have no idea what the rest
of your life means.

Sure, I do.

Anyway, all we're really
talking about is or so years.

Then she's on her own.

I'll be , headed into my prime.

I'll be in my s, rolling downhill.

Stop it.

sh*t! Volleyball.

It's okay. Go.

No. I'm good.

When do we start Lamaze classes?

[laughs] Ew!

[Crash Test Dummies' "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"]

Black & Decker
four-slice Belgian waffle,

nonstick, even on the outer lip.

Check the action on the flip.

Oh, I like that.

Of course, you can find
a cheaper waffler,

but it's gonna stick on you.

And when she doesn't flip,
you're gonna flip.

Don't want that.
What makes a waffle Belgian?

The size of the squares.

More space for the syrup.

Oh. That's important.

Bet your ass it's important.

MAN: ♪ Had turned from black
into bright white ♪

[waffle maker sizzling]

♪ He said that it was from when ♪

♪ The cars had smashed so hard ♪

♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Once there was this girl who ♪

♪ Wouldn't go and change with
the girls in the change room ♪

♪ And when they finally... ♪

I put shaved hazelnut in the batter.

Alex, this is amazing.

Right?

[phone ringing]

Mm.

MAN: ♪ She couldn't quite explain it ♪

♪ They'd always just been there ♪

Hello.

Hi, Mom.

Hmm? Yeah, it's fine. Everything's fine.

No, I have not been doing the exercises.

Yes, I know about elasticity.

Well, you know what?

If anyone still wants to sleep with me,

then they're just gonna have
to settle, I guess.

Mom, if that's all you called about,

then I think we're done here.

Uh-huh.

No, he hasn't decided yet.

Okay, bye.

[sighs]

MAN: ♪ Ah-ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah, ah, ah ♪

- Come on.
- I am.

- Okay.
- All right.

No, wait. Hold on.

Okay, that's good
with the hair like that.

- Yeah. Wait.
- Yeah.

MAN: ♪ Ah-ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ ♪

Do you know what a mucus syringe is?

It sucks out baby snot like a vacuum.

Never even thought about it,
but, like, obviously.

Babies don't know that trick

where you snort deeply and just swallow.

Gross.

Oh, yummy. What is this?

That's the best one they had.

The choices were awful.

And I did take both functionality

and fashion into account.

- Ugh.
- But here's the thing.

You see the... the clip at the top?

Mm-hmm.

That's for when the baby's hungry.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

We got to get you back out there.

I think I'm good on dating
for a little while.

I'm gonna put you on Yahoo! Personals.

What's that?

It's a place on the Internet

where strangers have sex.

Seriously?

I don't... I don't want the Internet.

She just kicked.

- Really?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come here, come here, come here.

Oh, my God.

Right here. Right down here.

I don't know. I can't feel anything.

- Oh, wow!
- [laughs]

- Yes.
- You got that?

- Yeah, yeah.
- It was big.

Look at her go. She's a regular Pelé.

Have you thought any more
about her name?

Yeah, I was thinking about Lau...

[knock at door]

Oh, hold that thought.

- Hey.
- What do you want?

Look, I just want to talk to Val for...

- Can we talk?
- No.

Just come on in.

I'm so sorry.

Look, I f*cked up.

I did.

But it won't happen again.

Okay? I promise.

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

And... and I want to be there

when it happens.

And after.

If you'll have me.

Please.

[Goo Goo Dolls' "Name"]

♪ ♪

MAN: ♪ Don't it make you sad
to know that life ♪

♪ Is more than who we are ♪

I don't know. I kind of liked it.

The little boy was cute.

How could they?

Maybe the next one will be better.

MAN: ♪ Now there's nothing to believe ♪

♪ And reruns all become our history ♪

[sighs]

MAN: ♪ A tired song keeps
playing on a tired radio ♪

Hey, how's the cubing?

I think it's broken.

You mind if I see?

MAN: ♪ And I won't tell 'em your name ♪

♪ ♪

Seems fine to me.

You just need to learn
the algorithms, man.

[sighs]

I wonder who you'll be.

[Active Bird Community's "QB Sneak"]

[water running]

MAN: ♪ I've had two weeks
of bad dreams ♪

♪ Now I'm living on caffeine ♪

♪ And there's a place that I could go ♪

♪ Where there's a pretty little thing ♪

♪ Feel like I'm stuck
behind the scenes ♪

♪ I'm smoking too much shitty weed ♪

[sighs] Thanks.

Where do you want me to drop you?

Um...

Oh.

You're regretting me already.

No.

It's okay.

I know the look. I've seen it before.

No, it's not... no, it's not that.

It's just...

No, it's...

No, it's just, um...

I've never, uh,
cheated on anybody before.

I mean, I've been an accomplice,
just never... you know.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

You have to start building
a timeline, like a criminal.

Oh, yeah? Since last night?

Everything was crazy,

and then you lost track of time,

and you passed out in your car
on the side of the road.

Wow, that's embarrassing,
even for fictional me.

Maybe you just tell him the truth?

I didn't really consider that
as an option.

He'd never expect it.

No, might not even believe it.

So... honesty, then.

Yeah, honesty.

Do you regret last night?

Nope.

[speaking indistinctly]

[laughs]

Laura.

What are you doing here?

Right.

Laura.

No.

f*ck you.

[sighs]

Oops.

I'm sorry.

Just that? That's it?

No story?

I mean, show some ingenuity here.

I've been up all night waiting for you.

Well, I'm not good at stories.

f*ck.

Wow. All right.

Well, maybe it doesn't matter.

No.

Don't forgive me.

Do not let me off that easy.

What are you looking for?
Am I supposed to punish you?

Am I supposed to walk out
and disappear for a week? What?

Yeah, maybe that's what I deserve.

Do you know why I called you?

Do you know why I asked you to lunch?

'Cause I thought we could be
fuckups together.

I thought we could have roof sex and...

hotels, incoherent fantasies.

[laughs]

This is just... this is...

I mean, this is... this is real.

This is just real.

It's real, and it's... boring.

Sorry.

Well, you're a normal,

slightly selfish, mostly okay guy.

Even your addictive tendencies
are basically under control.

I cheated on you because
I wanted to be with someone

that could just drag me down
as far as I could go.

I thought it could be you.

Well, that sounds exhausting.

Why aren't you angry?

'Cause there's no point.

We're not in our s.

I'm not expecting this to be perfect.

That's it?

It doesn't have to be perfect?

We're not getting married.
We're not having kids.

Maybe this is just who we are.

But every time you look at me,
you're gonna feel sick.

I mean, I look at me. I feel sick.

It goes away. It'll go away in a month.

And it'll pop up every once in a while

when I'm sad or angry,
but I can deal with it.

Is that the goal?

To deal with it?

You know, I don't know.
Maybe there isn't a goal.

Maybe relationships don't even
have to be every day.

- Hmm?
- I mean, I don't know.

We could take a weekend off
here and there or something.

We'll... that sounds all right.

Maybe we'll just make up rules as we go

or just work on something that...
that fits us,

fits what we need.

I have no idea what I need.

But it's not me.

[sighs]

Fine. What happened to your table?

Laura?

[men singing in Spanish]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ ♪

[sniffs] Mmm.

Oh, hey, fun. Tacos.

Breakfast tacos.

In Mexico, I think
they call them "migas."

Or maybe they don't have tacos
in Mexico.

Or is that burritos?
They don't take credit for Mexican food,

which I think is a huge mistake.

Oh, damn it, we should have
gotten horchata.

They make it fresh here.

Oh, well.

I might have to get mine to go.

I have to pick up Clark from karate.

Oh.

That's too bad.

Well, you can come back.

Life's really busy right now.

He's got a lot going on.

Aren't all nine-year-olds
going through a lot?

I mean, their bodies are preparing

to go to w*r with their brains.

Of course, but with his dad and me

and school, it's a really full plate.

That's the world, right?

We're all pulled in so many
different directions.

- Exactly.
- Mm.

I'd be happy to help.

You know I taught Laura there
for a second.

I didn't know that.

Mm-hmm. Just saying.

I really like spending time with you.

Yeah. Me too.

But it's a lot of time. [chuckles]

I mean, a lot of time.

Like, so much time.

You know?

And I need to make sure
that I have space for Clark.

You know what I'm saying.

Yeah. No. Right. I get that.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, good.

I'm glad we had this talk. [chuckles]

I have to get going.

It's a full-time job, you know?

Oh.

Oh, right now? Okay.

But I'll see you at work.

Of course.

♪ Ooh, bop! ♪

[En Vogue's "My Lovin'
(You're Never Gonna Get It)"]

♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪
♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Never ever gonna get it ♪
♪ No, not this time ♪

♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪
♪ My love ♪

♪ Never ever gonna get it ♪

♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪
♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Never ever gonna get it ♪
♪ No, not this time ♪

♪ No, you're never gonna get it ♪
♪ My love ♪

♪ Never ever gonna get it ♪

♪ Ooh, bop! ♪

♪ I remember how it used to be ♪

♪ You never was this nice,
you can't fool me ♪

♪ Ooh, bop! ♪

♪ Now you talkin' like
you made a change ♪

♪ The more you talk, the
more things sound the same ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah! ♪

♪ What makes you think you
can just walk back into her life ♪

♪ Ooh, ah, ah, ah! ♪

♪ Without a good fight? Oh ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah! ♪

♪ I just sit back and watch you
make a fool of yourself ♪
♪