01x22 - M-A-- MAY-JAY

[bunniefuu]

Darling, you're still in your pajamas.

- Here, let's get you dressed.
- Dylan: Don't.

JJ wants to be more independent.

He wants to unbutton
his own shirt today.

I tried to do it, and he bit my hand.

JJ...

that's very resourceful.

All right, darling, you let me know

when and if you need my help.

- "Never."
- What?

"Can you just watch without..."

H-E... "helping at all?"

Are you kidding? I can
do absolutely nothing...

for as long as it takes.

[The New p*rn'
"Dancehall Domine" plays]

♪ Ooh, oh, oh, ooh ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Ooh, oh, oh, ooh ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ They love you with the lights on ♪

♪ Repeat it, recite it ♪

♪ Whenever you feel gentle ♪

♪ Whenever you'll be knighted ♪

♪ Some will have to brave the line ♪

♪ But they're letting you right in ♪

♪ They love you with the lights on ♪

♪ Turn them on or don't bother ♪

♪ Never been so loved ♪

♪ But you're handling it well, lover ♪

♪ Just like every idea ♪

♪ Was to be like no other ♪

♪ What we call the dancehall domine ♪

♪ Embedded, indebted, don't let it ♪

♪ No, never let it be said ♪

♪ I've got, got the floor ♪

♪ In the heart, in the
heart, in the heart ♪

Look at you.

Already dressed for bed.

You're ahead of the game, love.

♪

Oh! Oh, Ms. DiMeo! Thank you for coming.

You're probably wondering
why I asked you here.

You did?

I just came to take some pens.

Oh, what a happy
coincidence! [Chuckles]

Please, sit.

Um... I-I wanted to discuss

the timing of Kenneth's summer hiatus.

What summer hiatus?

Well, once school is out,

the district won't pay for his services.

I'm afraid that you'll
have to do without him.

Really?

What, like all summer?
I mean, he doesn't...

He doesn't come back
during July or something?

- He does not.
- Oh, my God!

So I get my JJ back all summer!

Ooh, I could kiss you,

you nervous little bird of a woman!

Come here! Come on.

[Laughing]

Oh, they warned me about the crazy.

No one prepared me for your heart.

♪

What are you doing to our air?

Modern dance.

I'm telling a story with my body.

I've never felt so
supple and expressive.

Cool.

Where would you like me to punch you?

My arm.

My gym grade is dragging down my GPA,

so I'm doing Honors Modern Dance
as my Phys. Ed. requirement.

Ray, I've done a pretty good job so far

of staying out of your shame radius,

but the splash zone on
this one is just too big.

You're gonna bring me down with you.

Let me teach you how to
run so you can stay in gym.

Thanks, Dylan.

You easily could've filmed that
and used it to embarrass me.

I'm glad you decided to help me instead.

I played this totally wrong.

Oh! Darling, you look nice.

Oh!

Tucked in shirt? [Chuckles]

- What's with the trying?
- There's no trying.

I'm stuck having dinner
with a dad I barely know

because our wives thought
we might like each other.

Oh, darling, don't judge.

Maybe you'll like Dane.

You know his wife, Sarah. She's lovely.

Yeah, and if he's anything like her,

he'll be dull as dirt with a...

kind-of nice butt.

Okay, then.

Uh... JJ, Kenneth,

there's something we need to discuss.

Please have a seat.

What's wrong?

You, Kenneth my friend...
You're going away...

for the whole summer! [Laughs]

I was aware.

Kenneth: You're taking it well.

I can't believe it, actually.

In two weeks time, it's
the return of the May-Jay.

- May-Jay?
- Our summer nickname.

And we're gonna need it for
all our mother/son adventures.

Where are May-Jay?

Oh, they're at the beach
on a bike with a sidecar.

What's that cool thing
May-Jay are wearing?

Matching hats!

Oh!

[Laughs]

You don't have a more recent picture?

All right, two weeks,
pal. Get it out now.

Dude, when are you gonna tell her

you want to go to camp all summer?

[Sighs]

"There's never a good time,

and she's so thirsty for summer."

[Sighs] Well, you're
running out of time.

But good use of "thirsty."

So, what are you gonna say?

"No idea.

What do you think she'll buy?"

Yeah... I don't know, buddy.

We're getting into a weird area.

There's some things that
an aide is supposed to do,

but providing tips on
how to manipulate moms...

That's definitely not on the list.

But, you know, on an unrelated note,

I have this friend... J.I.

Yeah, well, J.I., he wants
to go to winter camp.

But his mom, Paya,

won't let him go.

I think he should use
Paya's vanity against her,

make it seem like going to camp
shows what a good mom she is.

[Chuckles]

That's just a story about

my good friend J.I. and Paya.

It's clear I'm talking
about y... Yeah, okay.

We're fully booked tonight.

I'm sorry. I don't
think we can seat you.

Oh, that actually works out
'cause I don't want to be here.

- Jimmy!
- Hey!

Oh, Mr. Richmond!

I didn't realize he was with you.

Right this way.

Thank you, Tina.

Tony!

That's Tony.

He is the worst guy.

Let's see what we're dealing with.

We'll just run around the block.

Should I get some of that black stuff

that sports people put under their eyes?

Maybe once you're a sports person.

♪

Hey, let's throw down some apps.

Jimmy, what looks good to you?

How spicy is the eggplant dish?

Archie, get my man here an eggplant.

No spice... He's got a delicate palette.

No, actually, I like spicy.

Archie, bring him the spiciest eggplant

anyone has ever seen.

I want people to die
making this eggplant.

Archie: You got it, Dane.

Anything else?

- Nah.
- Jimmy, come on.

- Uh...
- It's your night, baby!

Does the band take requests?

For my Jimmy, yes, they do.

[Playing "Blitzkrieg Bop"]

[Giggling]

What is going on here?

How are you so connected?

I got a little juice
here, I'm not gonna lie.

It's all about being a regular

and knowing the right people.

Cool! Very cool!

Dane noticed you eyeing
the other table's soufflé,

so he had me bring you the last one.

[High-pitched] Dane?!

♪

Nice!

This is a good pace
for a beginner like you.

Now let's slowly ease up to top speed.

Wh-Wh-What the...

♪

- [Breathing heavily]
- That was fun.

So, uh... how hard were you trying?

Wait a minute.

You were trying your
hardest, weren't you?

[Panting]

Oh, my God!

I'm the fastest runner in the family.

I b*at you, Dylan.

I'm a sports person!

It was amazing, Maya.

The flatbreads flowed like wine.

At a certain point, I was like, "Aah!

Enough with the flatbreads!
We still have entrées coming!

And Dane, he laughed at that.

Wow.

I haven't seen you this giddy

since someone mistook you
for their state assemblyman.

I just like Dane.

I told him next time we go
out, I'd return the favor.

How?

You don't get special
treatment anywhere.

A-Are you suggesting
I don't have juice?

- I... I have juice.
- Where?

Oh! The Carl's Jr.,
where you eat for free

'cause you got beaten
up in the parking lot.

I have juice in other places.

No, y-y-you have no juice, darling.

[Laughing] You're juiceless.

Okay, I do have juice,

and you could take
a note or two from Dane

on how to make a man feel good.

[Alarm beeps]

♪

Morning, Ray! Have a good sleep?

Good. Want to go for a race?

Ready, set, go.

Is this because I b*at you?

It was a fluke, and I demand a rematch.

Why would I give you a rematch?

I've never lost a race.

I'm retiring at the top of my game.

Let's see.

What do sports champions
do after they hang it up?

Oh, God, they lose everything!

Oh, wait.

George Foreman turned out okay.

I'll just invent something.

Ray...

running fast is my thing.

If you take this from me,

I can assure you, you will regret it.

You also assured me that
you were the fastest DiMeo.

And...

that turned out wrong.

Ooh, Sports Ray has some sass to him!

"The summer my mom taught me to.."

F-I... "fish."

[Voice breaking] I remember that.

"The summer my mom taught me to"...

F-L... "fly a kite."

Darling, it's so lovely.

I mean, I know Mother's
Day isn't for a few days.

Is this my gift?

No? Good.

'Cause you know I love my brunch.

I'd really like to have both things.

Aww, empty.

What will fill it? It's poetic.

You get that from me. [Chuckles]

So, what do you want to do?

[Sighs]

"I'd like to go to camp."

Oh, they have those, do they?

Mother/son camps?

Looks a bit light on the mothers.

weeks?

No, wait. I don't understand.

Summer's going to be our time.

It always has been.

What's changed?

"What changed is me,

thanks to the greatest
mother in the world."

"Your..." L-O-V-E...
"love gave me the..."

S-T... "strength to spread my wings."

Oh, that's what changed, is it?

"And it is on the wings of your love

that I will soar."

[Chuckles]

Paya looks mad, J.I.

Where do you get the nerve
helping my son manipulate me?

"I asked Kenneth to help me.

"I really want to go to..." C... "camp."

It's why I've been working on my..."

B-U-T-T... "butt."

Button, button.

It's our summer.

I mean, what?

Am I supposed to just
spend it with someone else?

May-Ray?

That just sounds so stupid.

You can't just spring
this on me, darling.

weeks is too long away from home,

and I'm... I'm sorry,

but I just don't think you're ready.

Maya, you are wrong on this one.

Are you still here?

'Cause this is between
me and my son, okay?

- No.
- Excuse me?

He wants to push himself.

And I know you want to protect him,

but you need to get out of his way.

And I think I see this
more clearly than you.

He's going.

♪

Two pieces of good news...

One, your summer starts now.

Farewell.

And two...

I'll give you a little
bit of a head start.

Before what?

Ten, nine...

three...

Okay, bye.

[School bell rings]

Hello, Raymond.

Hello?

How 'bout those seven new planets

they discovered in
the TRAPPIST- galaxy?

What?

How do you know about that?

I'm smart now.

I'm taking your identity.

But I could give it
back... for a rematch.

Mm.

All because I b*at you.

Beet... a red vegetable
eaten by weirdoes.

Like looking in a mirror, ain't it?

I'm not racing you again.

Oh, I'll get my rematch!

What?

At whom are you looking?

[Groans] I hate being smart.

What is it?

JJ...

Oh, darling, I get the point.

You are capable.

But we can't do another
button day yet, love.

It's too soon.

I know Kenneth is filling
your mind with big ideas,

but I do know you better.

And that camp looks lovely,

but you've never spent a
single night away from home.

Easy, JJ.

"Don't blame Kenneth for
something I want to do."

Oh, come on, JJ.

As if I would ever do that.

- [Thud]
- [Gasps] Are you okay?

Thanks a lot, Kenneth!

How are you doing, my brave man?

- Good.
- "Good."

Right, you meant JJ. That makes sense.

We made it here in
record time, didn't we?

Practice makes perfect.

Right, we'll go and
register. You bring JJ.

On it.

Hey, sorry.

I will move my car as soon as I can.

No problem, Mr. DiMeo. We know you here.

- We'll keep it in front.
- Really?

We'll throw in a wash, too.

Do I have juice...

at the hospital?

[Crystals' "And Then
He Kissed Me" plays]

- How you doing?
- Hey, Jimmy!

Hey, Loretta!

Hey, you don't have to wait
out here. Right this way.

Man: You see that?! They
just took him straight back.

Hey, guys! Jimmy's back!

Orderly: Jimmy DiMeo?

- Hey, Jimmy.
- Hey, Jimmy!

Jimmy: Hey, guys!

There's the crew! Looking sharp!

- What's good Jimmy?!
- How are you, man?

Kids are good?

Nurse: Oh, my God! Hey, Jimmy!

Every time, you two. Don't you work?!

- Jimmy!
- Hey, Jimmy!

- Jimmy!
- Uh-oh!

Jimmy: What's up!

Come on, we're gonna take a shortcut.

[Woman groaning]

Uh... it's a boy.

Hey, good eye, Jimbo!

♪ ...wait to see him again ♪

- Loretta, you're the best.
- Right there.

DiMeo's in the house!

Hey, Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Nurse: Jimmy!

Doctors.

All: Hi, Jimmy!

Nurse # : Jimmy, where are
you going? Come back here.

- Jimmy! Nice to see you.
- Hey, Jimmy!

Unh-unh! Aah! [Chuckles]

- Hey, Lucy, is open?
- It is now.

Kick that amputee out of !

♪ And then he kissed me ♪

Anything you need,
Jimmy, just let me know.

Mr. DiMeo!

♪ And then he kissed me ♪

Something to drink, Mr. DiMeo?

Juice.

Dylan: You see that tree?

Who do you think could
make it out there faster?

You.

But we ain't gonna find out.

JJ, buddy!

Thank God! When I heard...

[Laughs nervously]

You look good.

Real... real good.

[Exhales sharply]

[Sighs] Rookie.

I'm sorry. You look so...
So small and so washed out.

And the wires... What's with the wires?

[Voice breaking]
What did they hook him up to?!

They control the television, Kenneth.

JJ's gonna be just fine.

He dislocated his kneecap.

We're just waiting to see
if he's gonna need surgery.

He had the same procedure
done on his other knee

a few years ago.

Oh, kids?

Do you want to grab a soda?

How you holding up, JJ?

Let's take a look.

[Winces]

You're k*lling him! Get away!

Jimmy: Okay. All right, Kenneth.

Thank you so much. You're a rock.

So, we are gonna have to
perform a lateral release.

I'll talk to the surgeons.

You know the drill.

You're gonna do great.

Oh, darling.

It's all right.

"Forget"... C-A... "camp.

You were right.

I can't do it."

Darling, we'll talk about it later.

Just...

You rest now.

"No, it's fine.

I can't undo a button

without putting myself in the hospital."

Hey, hey, hey.

I am connected here.

Do you want to name a baby?

I am so sorry. I didn't get it.

Don't send him to camp.

Protect that child!

Lock him away.

I judge you for letting me near him!

You don't know me! Who am I?

Some groundskeeper
you met off the street?

Yeah, I need you to talk to JJ.

Don't make me talk to him!

I'll fall on him!

Get your head on straight,

and explain to him he is going to camp.

What?

He just told me that I was right,

he can't do it.

Now, I am not the person

who convinces him what he cannot do.

So, that's not taken?

I-I can be that person.

It's his time to soar. Those
are your terrible words.

He used to listen to everything I said,

but, for whatever
reason, you have that now.

You've come to matter.

Get ready to matter.

♪

Wasn't this nice?

I know we're fighting,
but it's important for us

to be here for each
other in times like this.

Yeah, it's so much more important

than that stupid stuff
about who's faster.

Totally.

And JJ's gonna be fine.

Surgeries like this are old hat to him.

I know.

And I have to admit,
one thing that I like is

how JJ's always so nice
to me after surgery.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

It's a tender moment between brothers.

The fact that it's aided by pain K*llers

only subtracts from it slightly.

Not sure if you've
noticed, but I'm always sure

that I'm the very
first person th he sees

after he gets out of surgery

so I can hog up all that sweet JJ love.

I have noticed that.

It's almost like you'd do anything

to make sure you were the
first person by his side.

What are you getting at?

'Kay, not proud of it,

but I kind of turned your ringer off.

And JJ kinda went into
surgery and is getting out...

- kind of now.
- No!

JJ, I'm coming for you!

Let's make it official! Ready, set, go!

You're good at hurdling, too?

♪

Yes!

[Breathing heavily] You won,

fair and square.

Go ahead.

I deserve it.

You were pretty fast.

Like the sun revolving around...

whatever.

Hey!

You did great!

[Chuckles]

You, uh... you looking here?

L-O... "Love"?

Yeah?

Don't mind if I do.

Ahh.

Brightening some kid
in the hospital's day.

I really am a star athlete.

[Knock at door]

Hey, buddy.

You feeling okay?

So, your mom told me

you decided not to go to camp.

"It's too much.

I'm not ready."

Oh, yeah, but you were so
excited about going to camp.

What about challenging yourself?

"Why are you not..."

L-O-O... "looking at me?"

Whaaat?

I gotta be looking at you all the time?

Like you're soreat.

I just happen to be
looking at other things,

like that wall,

or... or... or that TV.

Oh, boy.

So many wires in my little buddy.

[Clatters]

Oi!

Oh!

That floor's slippery. You're gonna...

want to watch that spot.

[Door closes]

Okay, listen.

All that nice stuff that

Kenneth said about me before as a mum,

I don't know how much
of that came from you,

but it's spot on.

I am good.

I'm damn good.

But it's only because

I am determined to be the
mother that you deserve.

You... I know you hate
it when people say this,

but I am not people.

You inspire me, darling.

You always have.

More so now you're growing up...

taking risks.

Darling...

you will do whatever
you want in your heart.

Your body doesn't get a say.

If you don't want to go to camp,

I suppose we could have a fun summer.

I mean, who knows?

I haven't really given it much thought.

But if you do want to
go, we'll get you ready.

Together.

Believe that.

♪

It's been a long day.

Sleep on it.

What? What is it?

Damn right, you're going.

Dane: Whoa! You can't park here.

Jimmy: It's okay. They know me.

- We're taking a right.
- Okay.

No peeking.

I'm not peeking.

And... open!

I know what you're thinking.

How did I get a room this nice

on such short notice?

I've got some juice.

Normally, these would just be

a gift for a new mother.

Tonight, they're a
gift for my new friend.

So, we're eating steaks
that were intended

for mothers who had just given birth.

- Yeah.
- This is...

awesome.

We're losing him. Get the paddle!

Oh, ho, ho! Dinner and a show!

- Very nice.
- Cheers, pal.

Clear!