Thanksgiving Roast (2021)

[bunniefuu]

♪ Givin' thanks on this special day ♪

♪ Special day

♪ Family love is the only way

♪ Gather round

♪ Let the children play

♪ That's the reason

♪ That's the reason we give thanks ♪

♪ Giving thanks

♪ As I look around

♪ Sittin' by the fireplace

♪ I could see all the
smiles fill the place ♪

♪ The sweet smell that lingers

♪ Lingers in the air

♪ I pray that all the food
is handled with care ♪

♪ Mac and cheese, turkey, collard greens ♪

♪ Boy you don't know that really means ♪

♪ Hey, yeah

♪ Hurry up 'fore the food gets cold ♪

♪ I can watch my favorite
team kick the field goal ♪

♪ Whoa

♪ Giving thanks on this special day ♪

♪ Family love is the only way

♪ Gather round

♪ Gather round

♪ let the children play

♪ Let the children play

♪ That's the reason we give thanks ♪

♪ We laugh, we cry

♪ When it's time to say goodbye ♪

♪ Hoping we don't leave

♪ That last piece of pie

Hey, where are we going?

Just wait a second and you'll see, okay?

Okay.

All right, take your blindfold off.

Ooh, this is nice.

Is this our new Airbnb.

No.

Madison, this is our new home.

This is our new home?

This is the new home for us.

You're lying.

I'm not lying, baby.

Are you serious?

I love this.

Oh, my God, babe.

Yes.

This is the best surprise.

Oh, I love you.

I knew you would be surprised.

This is so beautiful.

So check this out.

We're gonna walk around
and we're gonna look

at our new house, all right?

Babe, I knew you had
something up your sleeve like-

I told you.

This is beautiful.

Do you love it?

I love it.

I love it.

You know what I think we should do?

Right now.
What?

We should toast to our brand new home.

We should toast.

Ooh, champagne.

Nah, that's a little wine, baby.

Oh, okay.

You know I like to do things different.

I love it.

Let's do this toast.

Thank you.

To a perfect woman, to a perfect evening

and to our perfect brand new house, baby.

Love you.

Mm.

I love you, too.
Ooh, this is good.

I really love this space.

I can really feel my
interior design touches

on this open concept.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, look at this fireplace.

It's on both sides of the room.

It's beautiful.

Oh, my God.

It couldn't get any better than-

Babe, what are you doing?

Oh, my God, Preston.

What are you doing?

Madison Givens.

You're my world, baby.

I wanna be with you forever.

I love you with all my heart.

So it's my job to ask
you will you marry me?

Oh, babe, get up, get up, I love you.

Oh, my God.

So, whoa, is that a yes?

Not yet.

What do you mean?

I made a promise to my dad

that I would never get married

unless he approved of the guy.

But I don't understand,

I thought you would say yes.

It's not that I don't want to.

It's just that I made a promise

and I have to keep that promise.

But, Madison, I've never met your dad.

Your family lives in D.C.

How am I supposed to get to know him?

We can go there for Thanksgiving

and spend a week there.

I'm sure you could win
him over in a week, right?

Yeah, but remember we were supposed

to go visit my parents
for Thanksgiving week.

They had the week planned for us.

Like what am I supposed to tell my parents?

Just tell them the truth.

You have to meet my family because

we wanna get married.

You know what?

I'll do anything to marry you.

Thanks, babe.

Let's go to D.C.

Oh, they're gonna love you.

They are going to love you,
trust me, I can't wait.

Let's go break this house in.

Yeah.

Let's go break it in.

I love big booty hos.

I love big booty hos.

Kim got a big old butt.

What the f*ck?

What the hell you stabbed me for.

Get out of the room.

Get your sh*t out.

Damn, I thought he was at work.

Go.

Not there.

Get your sh*t.

Under the bed, I can't...

What the hell y'all doing?

Y'all talking to somebody in here?

No, baby.

You see what we doing.

I thought you was supposed
to be at work anyway.

The club got raided.

Feds came in and shut that joint down.

What?

Well, since you're already here,

do you want some of this?

Hell, yeah.

Come on, baby, come give me some of that.

Why don't you girls get started for me.

I'll be there.

What the f*ck is-

Round 1, fight.

♪ Hey, my baby

♪ I heard you want some action

♪ Hey, along the way

g*dd*mn.

You like that?

Oh, yeah.

Aw, man.

♪ Hey, my babe, I heard
you want some action ♪

Damn, baby, that was good.

You must have been backed up.

Man, I told you I was just thinking

about both of y'all while I was at work.

Well, whatever you did, you need

to do that again.

Damn near broke my back.

Yeah.

sh*t, oh, g*dd*mn.

I like that.

You girls ready for round two?

Mm-hmm.
You know it.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, f*ck no, I ain't about to play

the side n*gga to some father m*therf*cker

with a pile of sh*t in his g*dd*mn drawers.

What the f*ck you doing under my bed?

You f*ckin' my women?

Oh, uh, hell no, f*ck
no, f*ckin' your girls, no.

Them my cousins.

That's my cousin.
We friends.

We family, that's
family right there, baby.

Now that fam in the window
was f*ckin' your girls.

Ooh, sh*t, f*ck, f*ck 'em.

Get the hell out of my house.

Scandalous hos.

Aw, wait a minute, I ain't no ho.

sh*t.
Catch his ass.

f*ckin' b*tches, get
the f*ck out my house.

Well.

Round two.

God.

Hey.

Hey, look at this f*ckin'
broke knee bastard.

I f*cked both your b*tches.

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, look, you little fat m*therf*cker.

You smell like sh*t.

I'm gonna get your ass.

And when I do, I'm gonna
put about 10 b*ll*ts

in your ass.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

m*therf*cker, you drive Prius?

f*ck you, man.

Hey, I got video of both
of them hos sucking my d*ck

at the same time last night.

You wanna see it?

I'm outta here.

I'm gonna get your ass, oh!

Oh, and them precious hos.

Hello?

It's your big brother, Lonzo.

Hey, Lonzo.

Mom told me you were on
your way to pick me up.

Yeah, I'm out here right now.

We're at the rental car place

trying to get a rental right now.

Oh, nah, nah, meet me out here.

I'm out here waiting.

All right.

Okay, okay, here we come.

We?

What the hell you mean we?

I ain't no damn taxi.

Oh, wow.

Alonzo.

Yes!

My hair.

You look so cute.

I'm sorry.

Who the f*ck is this Bama?

Alonzo, this is my man, Preston.

He's gonna be spending the week with us.

Zo, what's up, man?

Those pants, those shoes on fleek.

Man, thought you had a friend.

I know this n*gga ain't
just try to call me Zo.

Then he gonna say my
pants and shoes on fleek.

This a cr*ck ass n*gga right here.

Yo, yo, hey, my bad,
I didn't mean no harm.

Yeah, he didn't mean any harm.

He's a great guy, you'll see.

Man, you got some gas money?

I don't drive Bamas around for free.

I'm a professional driver.

Oh, yeah, let me see here.

What can you do for me?

Oh, yeah, got $100 for you.

That should cover it.

Man, I'm an executive chauffeur.

This little hundred dollars ain't sh*t.

I usually charge 300
for something like this.

Well, yeah?

Okay, so this is want I'm gonna do.

This is one butt cheek at the club.

Well, look, here's what I'm a do.

What you got?

Giving you an extra two.

That's a whole 300, that should cover it.

This might work, that
may be two cheeks slappin'.

Alonzo, let's go, we're cold and tired

and we need some rest.

All right, come on, let's go.

This week's gonna go great.

Yeah.

All right, I gotta make
one stop along the way.

It's not gonna take long.

Alonzo, no, come on.

Babe, it's not a problem.

Just let your brother handle his business.

We're good now.

Fine, one stop and it
getter be quick, too.

My man, Preston.

Zo.

Call me Zo again and I'm a leave

your body in the baggage claim.

Sorry about that.

Oh, no, be nice.

Oh, yeah, Lonzo in the house.

Let the tribe say A, yeah.

Can I have some, please?

Ah, yeah, you know what time it is.

Anything for my little snow bunny.

You get a big one this time, too.

Yeah.

Babe.

I really have to go to the restroom.

Can you please call your brother?

Oh, no, okay.

I'll call him right now.

Geez, it's been over an hour.

♪ Big booty hos, help with us

f*ckin' phone, man.

What it do?

Alonzo.

We have been out here for over and hour.

What are you doing?

And Preston has to use the bathroom.

Tell him take his Bama ass down

to the gas station if
he gotta piss that bad.

No, you get your ass out here right now.

I don't have time for you
and your bullshit today.

Aight, aight, aight, man.

Tell him come on in here
and use the bathroom then.

Yeah.

sh*t.

sh*t.

Gettin' motherfuckin' married
to my motherfuckin' sister.

What'd he say, what'd he say?

Go ahead, he said come to the house.

All right, cool, yeah.

Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.

This dude crackin' to get
that soda with my sister.

Y'all know what to do.

Hey, who the hell at the door?

Oh.

Man, what the f*ck do you want?

My name is Preston.

Alonzo told me I could come here

to use the lavatory.

Lavatory?

Bring your stupid ass in here, man.

Come on, n*gga.

f*ck.

To the right.

To the right?

Go, n*gga.

m*therf*cker, I said to the right.

Whoa.

You stupid ass, man.

This is disgusting.

Ooh, uh!

God, I hope this doesn't smell like sh*t.

$25 to make you holler twice, baby.

What?

Who is that?

Come on, baby, let
met make your toes curl.

I'm a show you what a real woman is.

Ugh!

Give me all that black cock, daddy.

Get you crazy lady, get
this crazy lady off of me.

You people are crazy.

You got my money m*therf*cker?

I'm a get it.

I haven't had sleep.

My mother had to have surgery.

This ho named Sandy Stone.

I got jerked by this crackhead Boo-Boo.

Come on, man, don't k*ll me.

Man, f*ck no.

n*gga, I need all mine right the f*ck now.

Aw, damn.

What in the f*ck is
you cryin' about, man.

I just shitted on myself.

You got that f*ckin' g*n pointed to me,

what you expect?

Listen, if I don't get my bread

in the next 30 seconds, n*gga, you dead.

Please, what does he owe you?

Whatever he owes you, I have it.

Don't k*ll him, please, man.

What he, what he, what he owe me?

What do I have to do, please?

What the f*ck he owe me?

Man, I owe this n*gga $500.

Okay, that's no problem.

Yeah, $500, n*gga.

I have it right here.

Run before he sh**t your ass.

No, nah, nah, f*ck
that, give me all that.

Okay.

And your f*ckin' watch, bruh.

Just please don't k*ll him.

Run, get the hell outta here, now.

Preston, save yourself!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

n*gga, that your motherfuckin' peoples.

I told you, boy.

That's your peoples.

I told you how we do it, brother.

Why you do your peoples that way?

He's a f*ckin' nerd, f*ck that dude, man.

Why you doing your peoples that way?

We all right, man.

Here's your cut right there, baby.

You that man.

She love him?

Eh, I don't know, he's weak, though.

Nerd ass n*gga.

My man, no.

What, we ain't splitting that 50/50?

I told you $200, that's it, man, we good.

You aight.

Bruh, all the f*ckin' actin' I did, bruh?

Yeah, you right, you right.

You gonna give me $200?

You right, you right.

I said $200, take it or leave it

before I throw your dead
ass in the alley somewhere.

Yeah, aight.

You foul n*gga, though, snuff.

Foul as sh*t.

Oh, my God.

Honey, is that you?

What are you doing?

Your brother, we got
hold up, money, sh**t.

Are you okay?

Babe, he's crazy.

Where is he?

Here come his ass right now.

Alonzo, what the hell just happened?

Don't say sh*t.

You know what?

See, this just don't make no g*dd*mn sense.

Can y'all remember the last time

the family got together?

Can you say hot mess?

Hot mess.

Okay.

Cuckoo for cocoa puffs child.

Oh, that's probably
Leroy and Pork Chop now.

Hoo, time to get started.

Leroy.

Pork Chop.

I'm so glad you made it.

Thanksgiving wouldn't
be the same without you.

g*dd*mn, this house big as sh*t.

We damn sure don't need no hotel Pork Chop.

Brea, I mean, what you and my brother

done got yourselves into?

Y'all pimpin' hos around here?

Y'all so silly, let me take your coats.

Hell, yeah.

I mean, y'all done moved up

to the east side like
"The Jeffersons," huh?

I'm about to get on Plenty 'O Fish.

Uh-huh, leave your catch outside.

How was your trip?

It was all right, you
know, you drive once,

you drive twice, you drive.

Oh, what the hell?

What the f*ck?

Get this m*therf*cker off of me.

Roy, get him.

Hey, make him get off my brother.

Get off my brother, get
off my brother, man.

Get this m*therf*cker.

Roy, go up out the truck.

I'm about to put a cap
in this m*therf*cker.

Crazy bastard.

sh*t.

Ol' wildebeest looking m*therf*cker.

I'll sh**t him myself.

I think it's her.

My baby is here.

Oh, man, it's just your stink breath ass?

I thought you was somebody important.

I knew it smelled like a pig threw up

in this m*therf*cker.

Uncle Leroy, what, I am somebody.

Oh, y'all thought it was the
little princess, Madison?

Well, I hate to disappoint y'all.

Anyways, baby, how are you?

Mama, why is everybody so excited

about Madison getting here?

And how come you ain't never throw me

a welcome home party?

Girl, you live down the street

and you've never been outside the DMV.

Whatever, Ma.

Where is she anyway,
I gotta go to work tomorrow.

Miranda, you haven't seen
your sister in four years.

You can wait a little while
longer, miss antsy pants.

Ma.

Ah, ah.

Okay, all right, all right, fine.

I'll wait, but I'm not waiting all night.

Get on my nerves.

Go girl.

Not you, Mama, I'm sorry.

Hello?

♪ Been hard tellin' all these lies ♪

♪ Gonna stay up all night,
all night, all night ♪

♪ All night, all night

Good grippin' motherboard,
that ass is poison, mm.

Ha, what's up my n*gg*s.

It's Lonzo in the house!

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Mama.

Hey, 'cuz.

Yes!

You look so good.

Come on, give Uncle Leroy a hug, girl.

Hey, Uncle Leroy.

Baby girl.

Daddy!
I missed you.

I missed you, too, oh, my God, Daddy,

we have so much to talk about.

Who the hell is this n*gga?

Daddy, this is my boyfriend, Preston.

He's gonna be with us for the week.

Your boyfriend, huh?

What the hell you doing
here with my daughter?

I'm here to spend Thanksgiving week

with you and your family, sir.

Did she tell you I was crazy as hell?

Oh, no, sir, she didn't.

Daddy, stop.

My daddy wouldn't hurt anyone.

He's just joking, babe.

She done went down to Florida

and came back with Peewee Sherman.

Whoa, exactly, what the
hell is Smeegle doing here?

Is precious trying to find the ring.

It's just my uncle.

How you doing, nice to meet you.

My man, Von.

What's going on, Pops?

All right, how you doing, son?

I'm good.

All right.

Bet you came to see your girl, huh?

What girl?

No, don't worry about it, no.

Uh, uh, uh, whoa.

Who the f*ck is

this little mini n*gga clearing his throat?

Von, this his my boyfriend, Preston.

Preston.

What?

How the hell is he your boyfriend

when I'm your fiance?

Von.
No.

We are not going to do this right now.

I broke that off four years ago, okay.

Yeah, okay, but I'm your first.

She can never get rid of her first,

especially not for no baby Smurf ass n*gga.

This family's disrespectful, I see.

I'm sorry.

Excuse me, anyway.

Daddy, where is our room?

Our room?
Yes.

Baby, your room is downstairs.

Your little boyfriend
can sleep in the garage.

Garage?
Wow.

Anyway, babe, can you take
our bags downstairs, please.

Yes, I will.

Whoa.

Get his ass, Rufus, get his ass.

Hey, you went to the Smurf convention

and found a Smurf?

Where the hell you get this dude from?

You gonna pick him over Von.

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

Uncle Rufus, eat Smurf.

Maurice, you gotta do
something about this.

Everybody, I just wanted to say

that it is so good to have

the whole family here for Thanksgiving.

We are truly blessed.

I always prayed for a large home filled

with the love of family.

Now can y'all do me a favor

and be on your best
behavior this week, okay?

Y'all see how she
looking at me like that?

I don't even appreciate it.

Anyway.

Hey, Amaya, oh, my gosh,
you are getting so big.

Hey, big cuz, yeah,
it's been a long time.

Mm.

Girl, what you looking for?

Your man.

I'm done.

Why are you so bad?

Why are you so ugly?

Oh, Pork Chop.

You don't be disrespecting me up in here.

I wish you would, I wish you would.

Amaya Jackson, uh-uh, you
apologize right this minute.

I'm sorry you're so ugly.

Oh, now.

Amaya, you take your
butt downstairs right now.

Damn demon child.

India Foulri, you about to get this belt.

Girl, I am so glad to see you.

It has been way too long.

Why are you here?

You haven't been here
in four or five years.

Well, I wanted everyone to meet Preston

and I missed everyone, too.

Where's David? Is he coming?

Girl, please, you know
damn well David left me

a few years ago.

Oh, wait, that's right, you don't know,

'cause you was off in Florida living

in your little fairy tale world.

No, I don't know because

you never tell me anything.

Pick up the damn phone.

Miranda, why are you so bitter?

I have never done anything to you.

Please, I'm not kissing your ass

like everybody else in this house.

You still my little sister.

You still the same little girl

that used to piss the bed every night.

You know what?

I came here excited to see you

and you still got that stick up your ass.

And you better watch his ass

before somebody steal him.

What?

You heard me.

Whatever, Miranda.
Whatever then.

Oh, man, look at us.

The three amigos together again.

Boy, get off of me Alonzo,

we ain't close like that.

Whoa.

Please.

You over here because the
little princess is here.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I see why.

Girl, I been dodging that breath.

Girl, your breath smell
like Grandma's house

after she been cooking chitlins

and she ain't scrape all the doo-doo out,

'cause she says she thinks it spicy.

On my nerves.

Oh!

I'm a be sick!

Babe, I really don't think

I should ask your dad now.

I just don't think he likes me.

No, babe, he's just like that

when he first meets people.

But did you see how he shook my hand?

He almost broke it.

I'm still in pain.

Well, once he gets
to know the man I know,

he's not gonna be able to say no.

You think so?
I know so.

Let me take these glasses off.

Let's have some fun.

♪ Don't need to be all up in

♪ Show me all you

♪ Show me you're true

♪ I wanna love

♪ Show me all you

If you don't get your g*dd*mn hands

off my baby girl,

I'm gonna sh**t me a m*therf*cker.

Daddy, no.

Please don't sh**t me, please.

I told your ass you're
sleeping in the garage.

Now, n*gga, get your sh*t.

Please don't k*ll me.

Daddy, he didn't do anything.

Please put the g*n down.

Preston, can you go upstairs

so I can talk to daddy please.

Please.

Oh.

Really, Daddy?

Where you find this man?

Daddy, can you please
give him a fair chance.

Look.

Since it's you, I'll try,

but why don't you give Von another chance?

That boy loves you.

I just don't know, something
wrong with this new guy.

Daddy, once you get to know him,

I know you're going to love him.

Trust me, okay?

Okay.

I'll try.

Thank you.

And I can't believe you
pulled a g*n out on him.

Are you crazy?
Hell, yeah.

I only want the best for my baby girl.

Okay, Daddy, I
understand, but you gotta be

a little more nice.

Uh, uh, uh, only the best

and I'll go crazy if I have to.

I know you will.

I don't know what to do with you.

You come with me.

Sure, sir.

This is where you're gonna sleep.

Why does it look like this?

Well, usually that's my
brother-in-law, Rufus' doggie bed.

By the way, you're responsible

for walking him while you're here.

Mr. Givens, why does he think he's a dog?

About 20 years ago, Rufus went crazy.

He was cheating on his lady.

She was into all this voodoo sh*t,

but she put a root on him

and ever since them he's
been acting like a dog.

Oh, wow, that's crazy, man.

Look, my daughter tells
me you're a good man.

Yeah.

So I apologize for
everything I did earlier.

You know, Mr. Givens, that really means

a lot coming from you, man, thank you.

Don't worry about it.

Just get some rest and we got a long day

ahead of us tomorrow.

Yeah.

By the way, keep your g*dd*mn hands

off my baby girl.

Yes, sir.

You have a good night, sir.

I will.

Oh, this isn't gonna work.

This isn't gonna work.

Just do what I have to do.

Get my wife

and get up outta here.

sh*t.

Wake up.

Wake up, man.

What?

Be quiet before you wake Uncle Rufus up.

What the hell are you waking me up for?

You need to get dressed.

We gotta make a run.

This can't wait till in the morning,

I got jet lag.

Look, you wanna get in
good with my father, right?

Yeah, Lonze, I wanna
get in good with him.

Call me Lonze again and I'm a throw you

in the alley somewhere.

What?

Hurry up and get dressed

and make this run with me.

And hurry up.

We wastin' time.

Bring your nerd ass on.

Get your blind ass up and come on.

Don't wear them weak ass dress shoes again.

My n*gga, my n*gga.

Yo, what up?

What's happening n*gga?

Ready to put this work in?

What's up little bitch?

Wait a minute, what's going on?

What is this guy doing here?

Like I said, we gotta make a run.

Yeah, but you said this was gonna get me

in on your dad's good side.

Be patient little man.

You a little uptight n*gga, ain't you?

For Pete's sake, I wish you guys

would stop calling me a n*gg*r.

It's not funny.

This Bama said for Pete's sake.

This n*gga said n*gg*r.

Man, we ain't in Mississippi.

We said n*gga.

N-I-G-G-A, n*gga.

What's wrong with this man.

Yo, I can tell my sister
ain't getting satisfied.

I can look at the look on her face.

That's a huge lie.

I'm satisfying your sister.

That's why you don't see her going back

to this chump.

Let me stop this m*therf*cker real quick.

You better not be f*ckin' my sister.

I'm a take all the snacks

out your Keebler elf ass.

Slap his ass.

Just stop, you having
sex with my sister, bruh?

I, I, I, no, sir, I'm
not having intercourse

with your sister, man.

Man, I ain't ask you about

no g*dd*mn college courses and sh*t.

Do my dumb ass look like

I'm about to enroll in school?

I said is you f*ckin' her?

No, no, I'm not, no.

Please.

This guy.

Let me find out you f*ckin' her.

That's your ass little n*gga.

Y'all wait.

You know what time it is.

Where are we?

Man, look, listen,
look, Trevor or Bradley

or whatever your name is,

I need you to go inside

and meet with this chick
to get this package.

You gotta enter in from the back.

Hoo, you gotta go in the back.

Huh!

He might like that.

I've gone in the back door before.

But, why can't you?

I don't go into places
where I'm not invited.

Man, I told you he wasn't black.

Man, you gonna get your ass in there.

Okay, okay, okay, man.

I'll go, but hopefully nothing screwy

is going on in there.

Get your dumb ass out the car,

marble head m*therf*cker.

You guys are crazy.

We know.

Oh, that n*gga stupid.

I can't believe he fell for that sh*t.

Oh, just wait, when I'm finished

with this man, he gonna
be a n*gga for real.

My sister ain't gonna want sh*t

to do with his ass.

Hey, honey, what you drinking?

I'll have me a glass of ice water please.

Look, if you gonna be in my bar,

you got to order a real drink.

Oh, well, in that case I'll have me

a Shirley Temple, please.

You want some Hennessy in that?

Some what?

f*ckin' lightweight.

What's up girl?

Hey.
You fine.

Thank you, usual?

Absolutely.

Hey, my main man.

I'm Preston.

So, uh, who invited you to the shindig?

Oh.

n*gga, why the f*ck are we hiding?

Man, you see that big ass
vanilla gorilla over there?

That f*ckin' redneck caught
me f*ckin' both his girls.

You want a straw with
your Shirley Temple?

Yes, please, I would love it.

Yeah.

Ooh.

n*gga, g*dd*mn.

You on your own man.

Whoa, what you doing, man?

You gonna go and leave me?

What the hell?

We bros, come on now.

He right over there with Preston.

Oh, man, n*gga, you
might as well start digging

your grave, man.

Hey, handsome, you wanna buy me a drink?

Who you talking to, me?

Of course you, who else
would I be talking to?

All right.

I don't think I can buy you a drink.

My fiance wouldn't appreciate that.

Really.

Yeah.

That's too bad.

I was hoping you would buy me a drink

and take me to the bathroom.

Whoa, wait a minute, stop.

Are you sure?

Don't you do this to me, stop that.

No, no, stop, get off of me, lady, stop.

Damn, fat bastard in the f*ckin' way.

Man, Von, you gotta go get that sh*t.

n*gga, why the f*ck I gotta go get it?

That's your mans.

What's you mean.

Bruh, eat me or something.

That n*gga see me, I'm dead.

I'll tell you what.

You go get it, I'll cause a distraction.

I ain't gonna forget that sh*t either.

That's f*cked up, bruh.

All right, man.

It just might work.

All right.

Yeah, girl, I do security for the stars.

I be getting paid.

Oh, really?

So you wouldn't mind
buying me a drink then.

Nah, girl, I got you.

After that, let's hit up the bathroom.

Sounds good to me.

All right, sh*t.

Hey, bartender, give me some more

of that Rodney Cool sh*t, keep it coming.

Hey, you fat m*therf*cker,

get your hands off my girl.

The f*ck you say?

You heard me,

you big goofy pale Q-tip
looking m*therf*cker.

Man, I told you to give his ass the bag.

I'm not trying to get dicked down

from some fat m*therf*cker.

His black ass don't even like women.

I basically threw the p*ssy at him

and he act like he's scared.

Man, I gave you one damn job

and you couldn't get that sh*t right?

Wait till I tell my daddy.

Listen you Puerto Rican m*therf*cker.

You and your daddy can kiss my ass, n*gga.

Boy, I'm a leave your ass

and I saw you up here with that girl.

Hey, fatso.

This m*therf*cker said
he gonna f*ck you up.

Come get that n*gga.

Oh, sh*t.

You mother, get ah!

Ah sh*t!

Oh, damn, hey, come on.

Go over there, man.

Come on man, damn, fight
his ass or something.

Help.

Ah!

f*ck!

Oh, sh*t, man you still
made about them hos.

I told you I was gonna get your ass.

Damn, m*therf*cker.

You f*ck m*therf*cker.

Don't you ever f*ck with my-

Get, get, come on, man, get the f*ck.

Get the f*ck off me, get the f*ck off.

Damn.

It ain't over.

Yeah, I got your bag.

I bet you're gonna need this sh*t.

f*ck.

Get the f*ck off me man.

Remind me why I'm carrying
this m*therf*cker again.

Drunk off one g*dd*mn
daiquiri, mother f*ck.

Should have let the gay
n*gga take him home, man.

Get the f*ck off the bed.

Move this, f*ck, f*ck, come on n*gga.

Get your ass to bed.

It stink in here.

Good morning, Ma.

Good morning, baby.

You need a hand?

Sure, I'll wash, you dry.

Okay, at least you gave me

the easy job.

So, what's on your mind?

Ma, is Daddy involved
in anything illegal?

No.

Your dad?

Absolutely not.

How can you afford this house?

This house is huge and you know we grew up

in that little three-bedroom
apartment so...

Look.

Your father has worked
for this all of his life.

This is the product of his hard work.

He wanted a place everyone could come to

and enjoy themselves.

Okay, I guess so.

But, Preston wants to marry me.

What?

Yes.

Oh, baby, when are you getting married?

I didn't exactly say yes to him.

Why not?

He seems like such a nice young man.

Because I made a promise to Daddy

that if I was to ever get married

that he would have to approve of the man.

Oh, Lord, you know how your
father is with those things.

So when is Preston planning to ask him?

I don't know, Ma.

Preston just trying to
win points with Daddy.

I think he's gonna ask him sometime

during Thanksgiving dinner.

Mm, well, we'll see how that works out.

Oh, Ma, you know you do
have a dishwasher, right?

And I know I wash dishes
better than the dishwasher.

Okay, Ma, I'm going get dressed.

All right, baby.

Hey, wake up boy.

We have a busy day ahead of us.

Oh, hey, beautiful.

How are you?

I'm good, but what the
hell happened to you?

You look like you been in a train wreck.

I just, my head is k*lling me.

I think I need an ibuprofen.

Oh, damn, you stink, too.

What the hell you been doing?

All right there young
fellow, rise and shine.

I'm including you on our annual
Thanksgiving hunting trip.

Hunting?

Daddy, Preston doesn't believe
in the k*lling of animals.

Don't believe in k*lling animals?

How the hell this n*gga eat then?

Preston's a vegan.

No, it's cool, it's cool.

I don't mind going hunting.

You don't?

No, it'll be fun.

Okay.

Plus it'll give me a chance

to bond more with your dad.

Boy, what the hell happened to you?

You look like sh*t.

He smell like sh*t, too, but no, Daddy,

he just had a hard time sleeping last night

in there, that's all.

All right, go wash
your ass and get dressed.

Yeah, bye stinky.

You did what?

I didn't tell you to take him

on a damn money pickup.

Look, I needed an extra body.

I could have pulled
that sh*t off by myself.

Just give me my money and
get the hell outta my face.

Yeah, about the money.

This albino silver back
named Desmond got it.

How the hell a silver back
named Desmond got my money?

Preston f*cked the whole thing up.

You got 48 hours to give me my money.

And I want every dime of it.

How I'm supposed to get it in 48 hours?

m*therf*cker, I don't
care how you get it.

Get the hell outta my face before I knock

you into next week.

But Dad, it was Preston.

What?

What's wrong?

Madison, what in the
world is your dad into?

My dad has a custodial business, why?

What's going on?

What custodian do you know

that can afford a house like this?

What are you trying to say?

He doesn't do custodial work anymore.

He owns the business.

Madison, I'm sorry to break
to down to you like this,

but I think your dad's a drug dealer.

Wait, my dad, a drug dealer?

No.

I know you don't wanna believe me,

but I'm dead serious.

I overheard your dad and your
brother discussing a bad deal.

Plus the way your brother was acting

at the bar last night, it's crazy.

The bar? What bar?

What bar?

Oh, here y'all are.

Hey, Daddy.

Let's go big man.

Those rabbits not gonna sh*t themselves.

Yes, sir, I'm ready to bust a cap

right up their asses.

I think I'm finally starting

to get through to your dad.

Yay!

Good luck, babe, have fun hunting.

I love you.

I love you.

All right, y'all it's time

to get in these woods.

I know we ain't taking this Nate Robinson

chicken nugget looking m*therf*cker.

Uncle Leroy.

Wow, I see everyone's going, huh?

How is he going and
Rufus thinks he's a dog?

How the hell you go hunting

without a good hunting dog?

Yeah.

We gotta be in the woods in two hours.

Wait a minute, you're going, too.

Hell, no, I got business to tend to.

Business.
Business?

Come on let's go, she
about to cheat on you anyway.

What are you talking about.

Man, get your ass on.

That sh*t is crazy.

Right?

Oh, my God, I miss being home.

Miss Madison might be
getting married soon.

Oh, Ma, that was for your ears only.

Oh, I'm happy for you.

Just tell us, how good is he in bed?

Ooh, girl, is he packing?

Ooh, girl, everybody is packing compared

to your husband, Aiesha, everyone.

You leave my husband
out of this, Miranda,

when your no d*ck getting bitter ass.

What, girl, you the one that's backed up.

You the one that got sex toys

and dildoes all packed up in your purse.

Remember that time you told me

about your husband and how he bought

that extension for his little d*ck?

Remember that guy that told everybody

on social media about your
genital warts, Vernon?

Keep talking sh*t and your ass

is gonna get f*cked up.

All you do is talk sh*t, Miranda.

I guess you can't help but talk sh*t

with breath like that.

Girl, my breath don't stink.

Smell my breath, smell it.

Your breath smells
like Uncle Rufus' sh*t.

My breath smell like-

Your breath smell like Uncle Rufus' sh*t.

Stop y'all.

You know what, Miranda.

You and your sister need
to run some errands for me.

I don't wanna go with her,

I wanna b*at her ass.

Where's Alonzo?

Come on.

Look, Miranda, I'm not gonna tolerate

this mess in my house.

Go with your sister and
clear your damn head.

I'll f*ck yo ass up later.

You better not be here
when I get back bitch.

Get out.

Hey, man, what the hell's wrong with you?

Oh, man, I gotta drop a load.

I've been holding it a little bit.

I think I sharted a little bit.

You take your ass over
there behind that tree.

Nobody tryna to be smelling your funky ass

all the way home.

Damn.

Ol' crop dusting ass, smell like sh*t.

You always got Mama trippin'.

Whatever.

You need to stop talking so much sh*t.

Put your daggone seatbelt on.

God.

Oh, hell, no, he can't come.

Oh, yes, he... Get out.

Get out, Von.

What you talking about?

This is my car and I say who comes and goes

and he can definitely come.

Yeah.

Damn, at least somebody appreciates me.

I appreciate the hell out of you, baby.

Oh, sh*t.

Ooh.

sh*t.

Oh.

Damn, I told her about
them damn fiber pills.

Oh!

All right, yeah, you see that.

Man, I just blasted the
sh*t out these rabbits.

Wow, man, a human hunting dog, go figure.

That's right.

That's my secret w*apon
right there, ain't you boy?

Wow.

Hey, man, you think I could do it?

Man, I don't know.

You don't look like no hunter.

Man, come on, man,
just give me once chance.

Man, all right, you got one sh*t.

You better not miss either.

Here, nerd.

See what you got.

Come on Rufus, you know what time it is.

That a boy, Rufus.

You're gonna go find Preston some rabbits.

Come on, Rufus, let's go.

Come on, Rufus, I know you can dig.

I think he got something
for real this time.

Hey, I think he got another one.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

That a boy, Rufus.

Why does Preston have a g*n?

Wait, ain't Mo back that.

Aw sh*t.

Get him Rufus.

Hey!

Yo!

Hey!

Get that rabbit.

That's Mo you stupid son of a bitch.

Put it down.

Ah!
sh*t!

m*therf*cker.

Got me in my ass.

Mr. Givens, I'm so sorry.

I thought you were the rabbit.

Man, do I look like a rabbit?

I'm sorry man, get up.

m*therf*cker, you sh*t my brother

you Callitory Lanes looking m*therf*cker.

g*dd*mn, Mo, he blew a hole in your ass.

I'm sorry, man,
I thought he was a rabbit.

f*ck you.

Hey Mo!
Hey!

Mr. Givens, please.

Damn.

I'm sorry, it was an accident.

How the hell you sh**t my daddy?

You supposed to be sh**ting rabbits.

Give me this g*n you blind m*therf*cker.

Man, I told you it was an accident.

Maybe for the time you
was disabled Stevie Wonder.

Ah!

Man, we should sh**t you in your ass?

Aw, man, please, man, I'm sorry, man,

I'm sorry, man, please don't.

Man, bend that little m*therf*cker over.

Toot it up.

Hi, uh, may I help you?

Good evening.

We are Preston Mitchell's parents.

Is this the Givens residence?

Yes.

Where is Preston?

He went with the men hunting.

They'll be back soon.

Hunting?

Since when does my son hunt?

Please, come in, it's cold out there.

How lovely.

Hey, you got anymore of that drink.

Yeah, why?

Yo, come back here with me.

Oh, you ain't got to tell me twice.

I'm coming, baby.

Here you go.

I got something for that Preston.

Oh, really.
He don't know-

He don't know the real Madison.

Oh, but...

I'm a get some of this liquor in her.

Mm-hmm.

Watch how she be.

She is so sick of you though, honey.

She is too good for this brown n*gga.

Yeah, I know.

I'm about to f*ck they
whole relationship up.

Mm.

I don't know though, baby.

I mean, she is my sister.

Yeah.

Just can you do it for your man?

Sure I can.

Want some gum or something?

Mm, no I don't need any.

I insist.

I mean if you insist.

Oh, thank you.

Babe, can you drive home?

Yeah, I got you.
Okay.

Rushing. Okay.

You really think I can't drink this?

No, we don't, that's
why we say drink more.

I can drink this.
Well, then do it.

Take it to the head.

She can't do it, told you.

I did drink it, Miranda.

You had a little baby sip.

Do not let your sister disrespect you

like this, aight?

Take it to the head, man.

I took it to the head.

She tryna dig you.

That would never happen.

Okay.
Ever.

That ship has sailed and you know it.

Okay, we gonna find out.

We sure are not gonna find out.

Please do come in.

Hannah, you are so sweet

and I love what you've done with your home.

Oh, thank you, Rene, I can't wait

for my husband to meet you both.

Anyway, how was your trip here?

Oh, it was lovely.

The weather was just magnificent.

Excuse me?

When are they expected to be back?

Oh, dear.

They should be back.

You know what?

They should have been back by now.

Maybe that's them.

Excuse me.

Dear, they have such a lovely home.

Value city.
Oh, dear.

Oh, hi, Jenny.

What brings you by?

I was actually looking for Mr. Givens.

I have some documents for him to sign.

He has not been answering his phone.

Oh, he's out hunting with the fellows.

They should be back soon.

Why don't you come in and wait for them.

Make yourself at home.

Okay, thanks, Mrs. G.

Stan, Rene.

This is Jenny, my husband
Maurice's accountant

and a family friend.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Oh, you are gorgeous.
Thank you.

Isn't she, Stan.

♪ That sh*t's extraterrestrial

♪ Yeah, booty so fat g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Booty so fat g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Booty so fat g*dd*mn

♪ Booty so fat g*dd*mn

♪ Break a n*gga heart g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Break a n*gga heart g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Booty so fat g*dd*mn

♪ Booty so fat g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Uh, uh

♪ She threw the p*ssy like
a sh*t g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Put the b*llet in your
pop, g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Be your number one
fan, g*dd*mn, g*dd*mn ♪

♪ Uh, uh

Stan?

Stan?

Stan!

Close your mouth, dear.

Delightful.

Yes, she is delightful.

Mm, I miss you, baby.

sh*t.

How come you don't
never come and visit me?

Girl, you told me go to hell.

You told me you hated me.

Nu-uh, I love you, baby.

Dammit, I'm like all hard.

Remember, remember, remember that time

we made a movie.

Hell, yeah, I still got it, too.

I wanna.

I wanna make another movie.

Ew.

Dammit, so close.

Oh, yeah.

What?

Ooh, woo!

Man.

Your sister back there man, f*ck.

That's some good sh*t, mm.

You know what, babe.

Let's do it right now.

Let's not.

Right now in the back seat.

I'm gonna get your-

Come on.

Man, your sister back there.

Uh-huh.

We gotta wait.

Yeah, I'm back here.

Nuh-uh, f*ck you, ho

and your cobweb lined p*ssy.

This is my motherfuckin' car.

Y'all ain't f*ckin' back here.

Her breath is d*ck deterrent.

That's f*cked up.

That's right, I said it, blocker.

Pull this damn car over.

Pull the car over.

That's why you don't got no d*ck now.

I don't know,

I ain't pulling this car over,

it's cold as sh*t outside, girl.

Von, make her ass walk home.

Oh sh*t, what?

I ain't walking nowhere.

I'm walking right into him.

g*dd*mn right you are.

Oh, boy, just you wait, ooh,

I got something special for you.

Don't be a hater, Miranda.

If you huh, could use a
mint, you could get a man.

That's f*cked up.

Shut up.

And don't mind her.

She don't get out much.

What you tryna do, girl.

Oh, don't you worry,

you gonna wait and see.

Pop up with that vest on, girl,

furry as a m*therf*cker.

Scratch you all up.

Scratch me up.

Ooh.

I'm still back here.

And?

What's that supposed to mean?

You got somewhere to go?

You got a date?

No.

We know the answer to that one, don't we.

Man, Peewee Sherman just sh*t my brother.

I told you I'm sorry.

Who the hell raised this
assh*le in the first place?

Hold on, Mo, it's gonna be all right.

Shh, shh.

Girl, you wear your hot-

See, look at you.

Get in the damn house.

Don't g*dd*mn rush things, shut up.

This fool dyin' man,
what's wrong with you.

Can't see sh*t.

Oh, my God, Maurice, what happened?

Are you okay?

This n*gga done sh*t daddy
right up his ass cheek.

Preston!

What on earth is going on?

Mom and Dad, what are
you guys doing here?

Who are these misfits
you're associating with?

What the hell is a mick rit?

And this whore?

Stanley, apologize to these people.

These people.

Aw, hell no, go to the car and get my sh*t.

I don't know who the f*ck
Kamala, Oprah, Obama thinks

he's talking to.

No, sir, you will not
speak to my wife like that.

Do not let this suit fool you.

I will whoop your ass.

Aw, sh*t, I got three to
one on this black cr*cker.

No!

Stanley.

These hands do more than sign contracts.

Leroy, that goes for you, too.

sh*t, it's cool, 'cause
it ain't gonna be no fight.

It's about to be one-sided
than a m*therf*cker.

I'm a whoop bougie Daisy-Bell ass.

Oh, say lesser.

Well, bring your ass, n*gga, let's go.

Dad, no, no, no.

No, I'll do more, I'll do more.

Grab my coat.

Y'all just gonna leave me
laying here on the floor.

Hannah!

Hannah!

Bruh, b*at this n*gga's ass.

Stanley, let's go.

No.

I'm ready to leave.

Why?

Fine, I'm leaving.

I'm going... Mom, no.

No, I'm tired of it.

Oh, my God, what is going on?

Dad, please, no.

You can't do this.

Nobody, I mean nobody's
associates with me like this.

Dad, it's your death wish.

You lose, and you walking home.

sh*t, I ain't losing sh*t

to a m*therf*cker with
a Steve Harvey mustache.

Fake ass Marvin Hagler.

All right, all right,

we got these two in here tryna fight.

Let's get it on.

Whoever lose get to corner
my ass to the ground.

Both of y'all get your
asses over here, let's go.

Oh, sh*t.

Long time.

Ooh, baby.

You the best.

Come on, take me.

Girl, you ain't got to
tell me twice, g*dd*mn it.

Girl, I'm a tear your ass up in here, girl.

I'm about to b*at the pants off that thing.

You better b*at it up.

Every night once we get married, boo.

That's right, girl.

Let me warm up right quick.

Okay.

Girl, I'm about to
b*at your p*ssy up, girl,

b*at the p*ssy, b*at the
p*ssy, b*at the p*ssy.

I'm about to give you that
strong, strong ass iron, girl.

Baby.

Baby.

Man, f*ck.

I was this close.

Come on awake, girl, come on, wake up.

My d*ck all heavy, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t!

Let's go Leroy, he's down, he's down.

Oh, somebody call an ambulance.

Somebody call an ambulance, oh!

Dad, wake up.

I told you not to come down here to fight.

This is ridiculous.

Hey, Miranda, have you seen Madison?

I thought you two were together.

Oh, she was with me.

Here and that Von have been spending

a lot of time together.

I don't know, Preston.

Oh, okay.

Thanks.

Oh, honey, I am so sorry you had

to find out this way.

My sister really is an inconsiderate ho.

Hey, any more of these
uppity mofos up in here

that sacked Daddy in the ass going hunting.

Rufus, get off him.

f*ck that.

I ain't staying in the same house

as this old uppity ass n*gga.

Tell him, Mo.

Listen here.

I am just as black as any man here.

I cannot help, get back from me, man.

I cannot help that I can actually read

above a third grade level, Mr. Pork Chop.

m*therf*cker, read these.

There's plenty of room for everyone

and I don't wanna hear
nothing else about it.

Let him say something else to me.

You think Leroy whooped you,

I'm about to b*at that motherfuckin' ass.

Stop!

Enough!

This is my house and I
say who comes and goes.

That goes for you too, Jenny.

You're staying.

It's late.

No one's going anywhere,
there's plenty of room.

Wait a minute, she's staying here?

Huh.

Chop gonna stay put exactly where he is.

Damn!

Thank you, Ma.

You the best.

Look at here, the hour's getting late

and you know we got that
football thing tomorrow,

so how about we all go to bed.

Jenny, let me show you to your room.

Damn, boy.

Damn.

♪ Yams

♪ Oh, yams

g*dd*mn yam for me.

Big ol' booty, big ol' booty, big ol booty.

I'm coming, Jenny.

Papa ain't gonna let a b*llet stop him.

Ooh.

Oh.

Man, I gotta climb up all them damn steps.

I'll be damn.

She f*ckin' him again.

I'm a have to tell Preston
about this dumb sh*t here, boy.

Oh, what you go through
to get some booty.

Yeah, phew.

Oh, I'm comin', Jenny.

I made a special trip for you, baby.

Lord, look at them mule muffins.

g*dd*mn, girl.

I knew my brother was hittin' that.

It's not what you think?

I was just checking on Mr. G.

Like hell you were.

Look, girl, you better give me something

before I go on and tell my sister

about what's going on.

Look, I'll give you one dance.

sh*t.

You can nothing but a word.

Come on over here and
make it do what it do.

Ooh, wee!

Yeah.

Oh!

Get up in there.

Slow down, girl.

Oh, sh*t.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Jesus.

All right.

Beta-Luther, Meta-Luther, who was better?

Well, what the hell is going on here?

Oh, it's not what you think.

I was just checking on Mr. Pork Chop,

he doesn't seem to feel well.

Listen, maybe you can give me

a little bit of that
attention if you don't mind.

You know that I'm still-

You f*ck me again, legs.

What's up, girl?

That ass fat as sh*t.

I'm trying a horse bit in that thing.

Oh, man, I been tryna
hit it for a minute, too.

Pop over there hating this.

Tell me something?

You ever let him in?

Uh-uh.

Well, let me tell you something.

That n*gga use a fake ass d*ck.

He bought this sh*t
called a penis extender.

I heard my mother telling
my aunt about that sh*t.

Boy, you about to get f*cked up.

Daddy, you f*ckin' Jenny.

Wait till I tell Mom.

Nah, I'm not having
sex with that young girl.

Well, she give me head sometime,

but I ain't hit it yet.

You a dirty old man, Daddy.

You got that fine girl licking

them old ass wrinkly balls.

Well, you better not tell
your mother about none of it.

Hell, no.

I'm telling Ma and I'm a
make up a bunch of lies

like sh*t, too, that you let me hit her.

You better focus on giving me my money.

If you don't get my money by tomorrow,

it's gonna be hell to pay.

sh*t, get in the bed.

Hey.

This could be between me and you, baby.

My wife doesn't need to know.

I don't want her to, anything.

It's our first scene.

Come here.

f*ck, come here, girl.

Wait a minute.

What the hell?

Gay sh*t.

Where you going,

where you going with that gay sh*t?

What you gettin' in my girl.

What are y'all two doing in her bed?

Man, we in here for the
same damn reason you in here.

n*gga, we tryna f*ck, you didn't see

that fat old ass walking down there.

Listen, I was merely trying

to check on the young lady

and make sure that she was okay, no sex.

You old nasty n*gga.

Youse a g*dd*mn liar, that's bullshit.

And I'm a tell your wife you in here trying

to put your thing on that n*gga.

Look.

What are you doing
hitting my son like that?

He deserved it.

He's a freak, that's
what he is, a pervert.

Coming up and touching on our asses.

What in the world is going on in here?

Hey, Ma, I can explain everything.

Yeah, I wanna hear this.

You see, uh, what happened was, uh,

that girl Jenny, she said she saw a mouse.

A mouse?

A rodent, yes, a rodent.

So, so, and big ass teeth.

I, I got Daddy-

Yeah, I came to help.

And Mr. Mitchell-

Yes, he enlisted my services, yes.

To help me find that big ass teeth mouse.

Well, look, I got a house full of people.

I need you to call the
exterminator first thing

in the morning, Maurice.

Oh, okay, no problem, baby.

Looks like you're feeling better.

Come on, let's go to bed.

There the mouse go right there, Ma.

Run, run my dear.

Thanks son, you a lifesaver.

Yes, yes, quick thinking my boy.

Thanks my ass.

Both of y'all shriveled
up wrinkly ball sack

having ass mofos owe me a thousand dollars

and you better not stop me

from hitting that sh*t either, Daddy.

I don't owe you nothing.

Get outta my face.

A thousand dollars, my man?

Mere chump change.

I bid you both ado and goodnight.

What?

If he snitch, bury his ass in the backyard.

Preston.

Morning, baby.

Von, ooh, what is you doing in my bed?

Come on, girl, you
don't remember last night?

We back together again.

I don't remember anything last night.

Hell, man, look, girl,
stop being so modest, man.

All that freaky sh*t you did to me.

Girl, my toes still hurt from curling

them sh*t so much.

Ugh, no, get up and get out.

I don't care, whatever happened last night

was a mistake.

Get out now.

Okay, all right.

Get your sh*t, get your little Jordans.

All right, let's see how Preston feel

when I tell him.

Uh-uh, you can't tell him.

No, please, do not tell him.

I could never hurt him like that.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

Break up with him or I'm
a tell him everything.

Fine.

I'll call it off,

but you can never tell him.

Look.

Get out.

What the hell you laughing at?

What? I am happy.

Everybody's here, we got
the whole family here, okay.

It's almost Thanksgiving,
I'm in a good mood.

You know damn well,
doo-doo butt breath lying

like damn sh*t.

You know damn well you can't stand us.

Please, I am in the holiday spirit.

My ass.

Good morning, Leroy.

Patti LaBelle, Dionne Warwick,

Laura from "Family Matters."

Don't none of y'all get your damn eyelashes

in my food, okay.

Where the hell them Mitchells at?

Oh, I see they ain't want nothing

after that ass whippin' last night, huh?

Hey, so Uncle Leroy,

so what's up with that Thanksgiving day

football game this year?

Hey, man, shut up, you
ain't even on my team, man.

What?

Everybody know I always whip

this little Rudy Goldberg
lookin' m*therf*cker's

team every year.

It ain't gonna be nothing but
holiday tradition up in here.

I'm a hit him with the walk.

This guy.

Leroy, you know Maurice
is in no condition

to play this game.

He just got sh*t yesterday.

Hold up.

I didn't say I wasn't playing.

Come tomorrow, my team
is gonna b*at your ass.

Maurice, you need to go to the doctor

and get your butt cheeks checked.

Oh, I'm all right, Hannah.

But I got something for his cheatin' ass.

Yeah, Daddy.

What's up, bruh?

Old bootleg Carlton Banks looking.

What's wrong with you, bruh?

Somebody steal your bow tie or something.

I bet he know where
the end of the rainbow is

and damn pot of gold.

Don't you be touching me.

Get the hell off of me, man.

♪ Magically delicious

I'm sick of you guys.

Hey, wait!

g*dd*mn it.

You forgot your hat and my f*ckin' wish.

Hey, leave him alone.

Babe, wait.

Madison, how could you
cheat on me with Von?

How do you know?

Who told you?

Your sister told me

and it was confirmed once I seen both

of you all laid up in the bed together.

I'm sorry, babe.

I swear, I don't remember what happened.

The last thing I know is driving

on the way home and that's it.

And you think I'm
supposed to believe that?

Well, I don't.

But you know what?

I don't even care, 'cause
we can call it even.

Your sister, she showed me
a great time last night.

You slept with Miranda?

Really, Preston?

I can't believe you.

Well, believe it.

I'm done with you.

I can't believe my
sister would do this to me.

Look, everything needs
to seem normal around here.

I don't want your mother finding out.

I need you to get my money.

If we don't get that money back,

it's gonna be hell to pay.

I can't do that sh*t myself.

It's Preston's fault.

Make his ass do it.

Okay, you get him and Von,

but don't back here till you got my money.

All right, Dad.

Hello?

Mr. Givens.

Oh, yeah, I was just about to call you.

The money should have been

in my hands days ago.

Looks like we have a major problem.

Yeah, uh, uh, I'm just about

to send my son to pick up the money now.

It'll be a shame for your daughter

that's visiting you to suddenly disappear.

My daughter?

How the hell you know who's visiting me?

Just deliver me the package

and no one gets hurt.

Look, you better not touch neither one

of my girls.

Nobody wants the raggedy one.

I'm talking about the hot one.

m*therf*cker.

Hello?

Hello?

n*gga, why the f*ck are you standing

so close to me, dawg?

'Cause I'm your daddy, n*gga.

n*gga, get your, n*gga I'm about

to slap the sh*t outta you, bro.

And I'm gettin' a f*ckin'-

Get your stupid ass in the car, man.

n*gga, you ain't getting in front of sh*t.

Get your little ass.

Get in the g*dd*mn car.

I ain't going m*therf*cker.

Get your ass in the car.
f*ck this sh*t.

Come on, n*gga, get the f*ck in the car.

Thanks, n*gga.

I don't know why the f*ck you brought

this stupid n*gga anyway.

Still need a g*dd*mn car seat.

n*gga, where the f*ck you taking us?

I'm supposed to be ring shopping.

Look, we gotta go to

that m*therf*cker Desmond's house

and get that bag of money back

or else we all dead men.

You know what, you know what,

you could have that bitch.

I got another girl any way

and I still should kick your ass, n*gga.

Oh, yeah?

You can kick my ass, let's see that.

Look, would you two cut that sh*t out

till after we get the money.

Come on n*gga.

Yeah, this n*gga crazy as sh*t.

Are you pickin' this
n*gga up from a robbery?

sh*t, 10 of 'em n*gga.

After he smoke a stone, this n*gga

just went on a f*ckin' spree.

We need his ass.

Who the f*ck is this n*gga?

Yo, yo, yo, chill.

This my first cousin, Boo-Boo.

He gonna help us get this bread.

Yeah, that's a nice
watch you got there, man.

Boo-Boo, shut the f*ck up.

Hey, man, how the f*ck we supposed

to get this sh*t, man?

I am not tryna to get knocked out

by the "Wreck It Ralph"
looking ass n*gga again.

Chill, chill, chill.

Just follow my lead.

I got a plan.

♪ I been in the kitchen
baking cake, whippin' ♪

♪ Bad chick dropped me to her knees ♪

♪ Throw it back fully Betty

♪ See all the show

♪ Hey

♪ Drop

♪ Check

♪ Let's go

All right, he leave out for the club

every night at 7 o'clock.

When he leaves, you gonna go in there,

get our sh*t and then bounce.

Madison, why you cheat on me, girl?

You still gonna make me f*ck this n*gga up.

Homie, I swear to God
if you don't get rid

of this n*gga.

Listen, you gonna stay

your little cryin' ass inside.

The rest of us, we gonna
go and get the sh*t.

It's about 7:20.

Ain't nobody came out yet.

Since when crackheads got nice watches?

Boo-Boo, wait a damn minute.

Where the hell you get that damn watch?

I got it from him.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my God.

Man, Boo-Boo, you gotta
lay off the g*dd*mn cr*ck.

n*gga, I'm keeping this watch.

What the hell is going on?

Look, I'm keeping this watch.

I don't give a f*ck what you say.

This dude need an intervention, man.

Oh, sh*t, what the f*ck.

Shh!

g*dd*mn it!

Damn, that's a dirty m*therf*cker.

f*ck, he came and spend
my money on all these hos.

Damn, she fat as sh*t.

n*gga, won't you focus, g*dd*mn.

My bad.

Boo-Boo, go in the car
and get the g*n, man.

You better not smoke
no cr*ck, m*therf*cker.

Ass so big it's like
dancing with water buffalos.

Oh, my.

sh*t.

What the f*ck?

n*gga, that's my watch.

Give me my watch back.

Why you still taking about our watch?

n*gga, this my watch now.

Stay your ass in the car.

n*gga, I ain't scared of no f*ckin' g*n.

I'll come out there and f*ck you up.

Where this f*ck this n*gga at?

I don't know.

He better not be f*ckin' smoking.

Why the f*ck you choose him?

Man, he'll be there
for getting sh*t done.

Yo, n*gga, what the f*ck.

Here, here, look.

Now what?

Now what?

Stop smoking cr*ck.

I suggest you go to rehab.

Now, look, all right, Boo-Boo,

you gonna go in and cause a distraction.

Me and Von gonna come
in and sneak this n*gga.

All right, you got a plan.

You mess up, I'm a b*at your ass.

No, no, all right, all right.

You got it, you got it.

I got it, I got it.

Do not smoke a rock on the way.

Don't you...

Should have sh*t his dumb ass.

This m*therf*cker.

Put your hands up, give
me, give me the pizza box.

Give me the box.

Give me the hat, too, run, run.

Man, who the f*ck is bangin' on my door?

♪ I been in the kitchen baking chicken ♪

Man, I ain't order no damn pizza.

Nah, nah, I know, I
know, it's a special prize

for being our number one customer.

There you go.

Oh, sh*t, for real?

Okay.

Hell, yeah.

♪ Drop it to the floor

♪ Make it clown for me

Oh, you got some d*ck going on here,

girl you look good like a
buttermilk biscuit, mm, mm,

let me get some.

Hold up.

Get your ass off my women.

Hold on, hold on, hold
on, I thought we was cool.

Crackhead, get the f*ck out my house

before I f*ck you up.

Them's my women.

Well, who gonna get f*cked up.

Who got to come in here now?

Oh, you ain't sayin' nothing now.

Yeah, you ain't saying nothing now.

Where the f*ck my money at?

Yeah, yeah, where his money at.

You stupid m*therf*ckers.

I took that sh*t two days ago

and you just now coming back for it?

Well, I been busy with family.

Now give me my damn money.

Oh, it's on the table back there.

Von, go back there on the table

and grab the money.

Watch his ass, n*gga.

I got it.

Come on, Von.

Damn, put the money in the bag.

Hold on, dawg, grab all that.

Grab that, too.

Hey, wait a damn minute.

Where's all the damn money at?

This look like half.

Oh, man, I spent that sh*t.

Oh, and I had fun doing it, too.

Got me some of the
baddest hos on the planet.

You freak ass silver back.

Boo-Boo, grab all the money

and the jewelry off these skeeze ass hos.

I got it, I got, I gotta take down.

Don't leave nothing.

Give me that.

Boo-Boo, what you laughin'?

Can you g*dd*mn get the sh*t.

Damn!

Put your hands down, put your hands down.

Yeah, hold that, hold that.

Tie his Sasquatch ass up

and make sure it's tight.

That way he can't come after us again.

Desmond gonna come back.
What the hell is that?

Wait up.
m*therf*cker.

n*gga, what the f*ck.
What's up, n*gga?

Wassup.
Oh, sh*t.

Get the f*ck back, get
the money, get the money,

go, go, go.

Man, this garbage, come on.

Hey, tie a n*gga up.

Hey, Boo-Boo, you neighborhood crackhead.

Get your ass up.

Boo-Boo, won't you bring

your crackhead ass on.

Punk m*therf*cker.

Bitch!

You bitch ass n*gga.

Uh-huh, that's a nut crush.

Take that sh*t, bitch.

My favorite, n*gga.

Balls in you bitch.

Yo, bitch, I saw you f*ck

that nasty breath bitch.

How her mouth taste?

f*ckin' whore, she f*ckin'
licked your face, didn't she

and your beard you stinky bastard.

You punk m*therf*cker.

Get the f*ck off me, n*gga.

There go the police, m*therf*cker.

You about to get your
f*ckin' ass locked up.

Oh, sh*t.

A 40, I'll try to get the three,

a bunch of females.

Roger.

This is the police, get your hands up.

Black lives matter, m*therf*cker.

Take it all back to
the sound of my voice.

I don't f*cked you up.

I told you I was gonna
b*at your ass, bitch.

70140 Rogers, 7851 a family dispute.

4972 West 21st Street.

Tell me again, how am I missing $150,000?

Explain that sh*t.

We took that sell-out Preston

and he took all the money

and spent it on gambling
and hos at the casino

and I mean he was spending
it on bad b*tches, too.

Man, they make Jenny
look like Whoopi Goldberg

with doo-doo flats.

Yeah, yeah, Dad, but I
seen him with the flats.

Yes.

Broke finger and all that sh*t.

Don't you touch me.

And then...

This is unbelievable Preston.

I can't believe this.

Preston, have I not taught you anything.

Do you not know who we are these days?

Me and your mother.

You ain't no ordinary n*gro, Preston.

I'm tired of this.

Oh, baby, are you okay?

What was he thinking?

I have no clue.

Yeah.

Baby, I have a terrible hangover.

I'll make you some tea and soup, okay.

Yeah, I'm never drinking again.

Please do not, son.

You know how you get with a little bit

of alcohol in your system.

Why would you get pissy drunk like this?

Mom and Dad, could you please excuse me?

I need a word with Madison.

Fine, let's go, honey.

Please.
I'm sorry.

Babe.

Listen, baby, I don't care what happened.

I realized I can't live without you.

I can't live without you, either.

The m*therf*cker stopped
pointing the g*n and sh*t,

start p*stol whipping me like this.

Is that why you look like sh*t?

I gave you the task of handling

this transaction Alonzo.

But this Joe wants his money.

We all gonna be dead.

Damn, Daddy, don't you
got some money stashed away?

I mean, how you let this sh*t happen?

I don't have enough
funds to liquidate it.

By the time I get it,
it's gonna be too late.

What you gonna tell Ma?

I ain't gonna tell her sh*t

and you better not either.

I'll figure something out.

Please forgive me for everything I did.

Please forgive me for my behavior.

I do.

Yeah, but there's only one more thing.

What's that, baby?

I got to talk to your dad.

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you.

Let's go.

Okay.

I'm gonna whoop your motherfuckin-

Get off me, let me go, let me go.

Good God, you will not touch one hair

upon my son's head.

Your son owes me $150,000.

I want my sh*t now.

How the hell he owe you Daddy?

Stay out of it baby girl.

Stay away from that
lyin', cheatin' bastard.

Cheatin'.

He owes me $150,000.

He spent it on them hos and gambling.

No, wait, wait, wait, a minute,

what are you talking about, sir?

You stole my money.

Alonzo, get my sh*t.

Aw sh*t!

Wait, wait, wait, dammit, wait!

This doesn't make any sense.

Preston doesn't need to steal.

Yeah.

That n*gga ain't need to cheat neither,

but he did that sh*t, too.

Come on.

Preston wouldn't cheat on Madison.

I would never Oh, really?

What?

Okay, I bet you 10,000 he did.

And I got proof.

Look, my son, I will take that bet, sir.

You'll take that bet, sir?

All right, well, let's have a look then.

Let's see, mm.

What is he talking about.

Let's see the proof.

Let's see the proof Von.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's you, g*dd*mn it Jerry Springer.

You f*ckin' Miranda.

Ease up, ease up, Daddy.

It's just Miranda's ass.

Everybody done hit that, here.

Aw, sh*t.
Oh, my God.

Wait a minute.

You and your family get
the f*ck out my house.

Pack your sh*t up.

Listen, I don't have to put up

with this anymore, I'm out.

Come on, Preston,

let's go pack your things.

We can see where we're not welcome.

You'll not be seeing us again.

You uncivilized f*cking children.

Daddy, what you doing?

It's ridiculous, I'm leaving, too.

If he wanted to make a wish come true

he'd have gave us
continue to knock him out.

Come on, y'all, let's
get ready for this game.

Stop, Von.

Let me see your phone.

Dang.

How the hell we gonna play this game

we got these monster Bamas
looking for you, Dad?

Look, it's Thanksgiving.

They ain't doing nothing on Thanksgiving.

Hey, baby.

I'm gonna pack my bag, too.

No, you stay here.

I don't want you to have any more tension

with your family.

Baby, I don't care about any of that.

I just want you.

Get the hell off of me.

Look, it's for the best.

We need some space, Madison.

Preston.

Madison, I said it's over.

I shamed both of our families,

can't you see that.

Just let me go.

Whatever, I am gonna clear my head

and I suggest that you do the same.

I'm not doing anything.

Daddy!

No!

Boy, if you playing quarterback,

let me tell you right now.

I'm be like Deon Sanders.

I'm talking about prime time.

Leroy, you ready to get your ass whooped?

Man, shut up Dirk Fisher.

Got your son over here dressed like

and African bottle of Sunny Delight.

Let's do this sh*t.

Oh, sh*t, let's do that.

We about to whoop on Lamont Sanford.

Junkyard ass.

n*gro, please, I'm 'bout to put

your ass to sleep.

Plain and simple.

Baby girl.

Daddy, please!

Hey, what's wrong.

These men said they're gonna k*ll me

unless you pay them their money.

Mr. Givens, you did not keep your word.

You told me I would have my money.

Now I'm gonna show you how I keep my word.

If I don't get my money,

I'm gonna make sure I send

your daughter back in pieces.

Bring the money to Iverson Mall in an hour.

No police or she dies.

Daddy, please.

Madison!

Maurice, what are they talking about?

Why do these people have our daughter?

I'll tell you why?

Huh.

It comes from all of his drug dealing.

How else do you think he's able

to afford this big old fancy house.

What?

Drug dealing?

Maurice, what in the
hell is he talking about?

So this is all your fault?

What else haven't you told me?

No, it's his fault.

He gambled all our money away.

That's bullshit.

Your son and Von lost all of your money.

None of this is important right now.

We all have to work together
to get Madison back.

Let's just put our
differences aside and think.

Where are they holding her, Maurice?

Well, I know where they're holding her,

but the problem is how am I gonna get

$150,000 in cash.

Hold up.

Yeah.

You have the money?

Chop got 20 on him.

Ain't got time for your jokes right now.

Listen, everyone focus.

How much money do we have, honestly?

Well, I got a little
over $150,000 in the bag

plus some jewelry.

Here, take these.

None of this material stuff is important.

I just want my baby back.

I want her back, too.

Would you calm down.

Let me see.

Oh, okay.

Put something in it, dweeb.

Dad, I love her.

Alonzo, can you go downtown

and see if you can get all this finished.

Yes, sir, I got you, Daddy, okay.

Need her back now.

We're gonna get her back son.

Mr. Givens.

I hope you're not wasting my time.

I'm sorry.

But the bag feels quick light.

No, the code word is
Megan Good can get the wood,

yes, it is me, Mr. Disco.

I have my broker here on the line.

He's ready to wire you $135,000.

Do you accept?

Nobody is there.

Is she worth this son?

Yes, she's worth every
cotton pickin' cent.

Okay, give me my baby girl back.

As soon as the money hits my account.

My money is good everywhere, son.

Excuse me.

You're lucky you have rich friends.

You really f*cked up this time, though.

I'm through with your ass after this.

Grab the girl.
Where is she?

Baby, sweetie, you all right.

Get off of me.

Yes.

Baby, girl, did he hurt you?

Did they hurt you?

They're no gentlemen that I know of.

Are you all right.

Get her out of here, let's go.

Thank God.

You enjoy that money.

Okay.

So ridiculous, f*ck.

They didn't touch me.

Made me pay $135,000.

Amaya.

Amaya!

What?

Can you get me some hot sauce

out of the cabinet, please?

I'm not your maid.

Amaya, I am getting really tired

of your smart mouth.

Would you rather me have a dumb mouth

like cousin Alonzo.

Oh, Lord, please don't
let me k*ll this girl.

You better not touch me

or I'm gonna call CPS.

You wouldn't.

Watch me.

Either you b*at her
or I'm gonna b*at you.

No, stop, I'm sorry.

That's right, whoo!

Whoo!

About damn time.

Girl with the belt like this.

Bad ass little girl.

sh*t.

What's up, girl?

Hey, um, you coming over later tonight.

And what the f*ck am
I coming over there for.

Well, you said that
if I did what you asked

that, you know, we would be together.

Girl, I was just f*ckin' with you man.

Nobody want your stink ass.

Oh, man, go brush your damn teeth.

Damn, man.

Smart ass.

No shame, son.

She gonna do it again.

Keep b*ating that ass.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Yeah, she feeling it now.

Girl got a nice swing, don't she?

Mom, please, I'm sorry.

I love you.

Excuse me everybody, I would like

to make a toast.

You mean halitosis.

Anyway, this toast is for

the most self-centered, arrogant,

son of a bitch that I know.

This toast is for that conniving ass Von.

I would also like to say
that Madison didn't sleep

with Von and I didn't sleep with Preston.

It was all just a lie created by Von

to break you two up.

Don't do this sh*t, no, shut up.

Madison, Preston, I would like to apologize

for my part in all of this.

Please forgive me.

Oh, um, and Daddy, Alonzo and Von here,

they lied about all that
money that came up missing.

What the hell?

Why you gonna say my name.

Oh, you lie like sh*t.

That's why your breath smell
like rotten eggs and sh*t.

I knew it.

Bullshit.

You are trash.

Yeah, uh, can I get
everybody's attention please.

So I've been wanting to
say this for a while,

but I just was waiting for the right time

and I feel now since we
have the whole family here

that this is the right time.

So Mr. Givens, I wanted to let you know

and your family that I love
your daughter, Madison,

more than words could ever express, right?

And I want to spend the
rest of my life with her.

Would you be so kind and let me have

your daughter's hand in marriage?

Marry my baby girl?
Yes.

Oh, hell no.

Ain't nobody good enough for my baby.

I don't care how much
you paid them earlier.

Maurice, how could you?

He ain't good enough for her.

Oh!

If you're gonna act like this,

get outta my house.

I'm not gonna let you ruin
these young people's future.

Get your drug dealing ass outta my house.

All right, Preston, I'm happy.

Speak up!

All right, Preston.

I'd be happy if you'd be my son-in-law.

Now that's better.

And by the way, you're
sleeping on the doggie bed

and you better pay him every time back.

Now, Preston, dear, isn't there something

you wanted to do?

Madison Givens, I...

I want to know...

This ring.

Make me, Preston Mitchell,

the happiest man in the world

by marrying me and being my wife.

Yes, yes, yes, Preston, yes.

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah, hallelujah!

Yeah.

See that rock.

You see that rock.

So look, so family, just briefly,

I have to take care of some business,

may I step away for a second?

Don't be too long.

Mrs. Mitchell.

Yes.
Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Come on, you can do it, you can do it.

A chip off the old block.

Married man now.

Oh, Von.

Congrats bitch, I mean.

Whoa.

Bro.

I'm happy for you, man.

Know what, Von, thank you, man.

Hey, dad, hey, guess what?

I'm about to b*at the
brakes off that thing.

Oh, no you not, aw!

Hey, Ma!

Guess what?

Oh, boy, just get the hell outta my face.

And that's what I thought, too.

Don't forget that sh*t either.

Once you strip it up, wreck that boss

like heaven ass, whoo hoo!

Ham hocks, were are you girl?

Damn.

What took you so long?

I had to take my pills again,

you know, get this baloney pony ready.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm the type of m*therf*cker
to give up anything.

Well, you about to have
the time of your life.

You ready?

Yes.

I'm ready.

What the f*ck is that?

Oh, sh*t, that's a!

That's a f*ckin', f*ckin' d*ck.

f*ck, big ass d*ck.

What, I thought a n*gga was tryna f*ck.

♪ It's you, uh-huh

♪ That got me thinking
what I can live without ♪

♪ It's you, uh-huh that these n*gg*s ♪

♪ Know I don't play about now girl ♪

♪ How to us came and made one

♪ Had your fears and now they're gone ♪

♪ I stole your heart

♪ And now I'm out here on the run ♪

♪ Doubters say we won't make it ♪

♪ Don't give him your
heart, he'll just break it ♪

♪ And your crew saying I'm not true ♪

♪ Girl, you tell them that I got plans ♪

♪ For me and you

♪ Doubters said we won't make it ♪

♪ Don't give him your heart,
girl he'll just break it ♪

♪ So I guess I gotta prove

♪ That I got plans for me and you ♪

♪ I'm not ashamed to say it

♪ No you ain't gotta worry
if I love you, girl ♪

♪ No, you ain't gotta worry

g*dd*mn it, man!

Hey, who got the Tiger Balm?

I'm on the, baby, on top!

Man, I'm tired of whipping

your g*dd*mn Rod Hopper looking ass.

Been whippin' y'all ass every year.

Look, I told you I got
something special for your ass.

Man, you ain't got sh*t

but another ass whippin' coming.

I got my secret w*apon.

What?

Hey, Boo-Boo.

Boo-Boo?

Oh, sh*t, huh.

I'm about to play the game.

Let's really rock and roll.

Hey, can you even catch?

Yeah, I could catch.

Well, catch this mitten.

Fire breath, hut.

I'm running past your holy ass.

You don't want none of this, Unc?

Yo, yo, yo, get, get, get, go.

Touchdown!

You ready.

Are you ready?

Yo, ready, hey, give me the ball.

Encyclopedia page 44,
42, a second opinion.

f*ckin' nerd.
Go!

Go.

Your dad's open there.

Ready, get, get, get till you love me,

get, get, till you love, set, go.