02x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

ANTHONY: A few weeks back,

I might have proposed to Yvonne.

MIMI: Yeah, and the worst part
was waking up to discover

that I had partaken in a one night stand

with one of your friends.

See, I thought you left her.

It ended. What's the difference?

You were wiping food
off each other's chins.

Hey, do you think you'll be able
to come on the road with us,

- or is work too full-on?
- On the road...?

Just some away sh**t.

Nothing's been locked
down yet, or anything.

Let's talk every day.

Okay. I love ya.

(CHUCKLES) Mwah!

- Let's do this!
- Yeah.

I love you, too.

Oh, no, it's revolutionary.

It's like Uber for people who
don't have time to go to a salon.

And, all you need is this machine.

Basically, it's a pyramid scheme.

So, this is what you've
been doing with your time?

Well, a girl needs a hobby.

Okay, I'm gonna set it
to, um... to goddess.

But just natural, like the
slightest tinge, Sim.

This one is, it's like a healthy tint.

Something that says, "So what, Jack,

"if you've been gallivanting around

"with your custard stuffing ex
for the better half of the last..."

Four weeks.

"...four weeks.

"I've been outside, just living
my life, getting into...

"tennis."

Tennis?! Jack has met her,
he's not gonna believe that.

Actually, it's been fine.

The first week was all...

Blissful, blissful freedom.

Just plucking nipple
hairs whenever you want.

And period undies.

And then, the second
week, I came to realise

how much I'd come to rely on him.

So, we decided more contact was needed.

And that was great until the third week,

when we kept missing each other.

(PHONE RINGS)

And then...

Fourth week!

What happens on the fourth week?

PETE: It's actually way
better than I expected.

And, Mitch has always
got food in the fridge.

Every night, he puts a glass of
water beside my bedside table,

just to be thoughtful.

It's awesome.

Just you, your ex, her new partner,

and a baby.

- Living the dream.
- Living the dream.

Living the dream.

(HEAVY MUSIC PLAYS)

Nothing, just more of the same.

LILY: Okay, Erica and
Nikkii are on Beauty Bar,

and then it's sign-offs,

and that's it.

- It's gonna be a good show, everyone.
- SASHA: Will it?

Because I've just spent
the last three hours

in a white wine frenzy,

convincing upstairs that we
have a clue what we're doing.

Ooh, did they take you to Vue de monde?

Jeremy, be less of a dickhead.

So, do we have a clue what we're doing?

DALE: I would say, rarely.

Are they still worried about
the three host situation?

Gee, what do you reckon?

Uh, Nikki needs to change her lipstick,

we're both wearing Lip Chick.

And I haven't had one
minute. If it's an issue...

Lily, could we just get someone down
here from the make-up department?

Girls, come on, hey!

Come on, you're both
bigger than lipstick.

- I'm not a girl.
- I'm not bigger.

SASHA: Also, gird your loins, people,

because it's that time of year.

- Already?
- But we just finished the last one.

Television's night of nights.

(GASPS)

Now, secretly, people might
like watching arseholes,

but they do not vote for arseholes.

And, right now, these three look like...

- Arseholes.
- Get them in here.

Nobody is leaving until
they are working together.

Are upstairs really that freaked out?

Look, Logie season isn't
helping anxiety levels.

Yeah, Eric's won it for less.

And, this year, we're
launching a proper campaign.

(PILLS RATTLE)

Do you want some water
with that? I can...

And then, the... the
details of this campaign?

Work in progress.

But in terms of tonight...

(SIGHS) Look, everyone's
been on -hour days,

and I think, for morale's sake,
it would be really great...

What's going on with
the shitty fake tan?

Were you planning on having sex tonight?

Jack's been away for a whole month

and we're still at the
three times a week stage,

so, technically, that's
times overdue.

Interesting. Do you know
when I last had sex?

- No.
- No, neither do I.

We in trouble, Jeremy?

Feels like detention.

I wouldn't know.

Okay, Logie noms are fast approaching

and the powers that be
want The Breakfast Bar

to be f*ring on all three cylinders.

ERIC: Maybe we need to fire
one of those cylinders.

I'm kidding.

- Eric.
- I'm kidding. I'm so kidding.

- Not really... I am.
- You're all brilliant.

But there's too much overlap.

You're muddying each other's bandwidth.

We need to find your individual
brands, your unique voices.

And, when I was at Harvard...

Was that a short course?

...our professor had us do an exercise.

Where your goal intersects
with your strength,

there lies our special spice.

And, that spice...

is our brand.

- How cool.
- Mm.

That's really cool.

- It is cool.
- But...

Let's all find our brands.

That's what I'm suggesting.

PETE: Hey!

Hey. Working late?

Ah, just waiting on notes from Jeremy.

- Show's going well, then?
- Yeah, I think so.

- It's almost ready to pitch.
- Great.

Hey, um, listen, the other
night at your place...

- Yeah... just...
- The whole thing was just...

Alice, hi.

So, I have wine, eggnog, turkey,
ham, tomato and onion pie,

but if you guys wanna bring anything...

Sorry, uh, to...?

Vince's party.

He told you it's
Christmas in July, yeah?

- Yep. Jack and I will be there.
- Yep, me too.

Oh, don't bring pudding,
I brought pudding.

I'm bringing pudding. Pudding.

- No, pudding.
- Pudding!

You gotta be less weird about this.

The other night, we just
passed out. It was harmless.

I mean, apart from the hearing
damage I got from your snoring.

I'm not being weird with you.

You're being a bit weird.

- I'm not...
- Guilt makes you weird.

I'm not guilty!

I'm... or at least, I won't be
because I'm going to tell Jack.

Why wouldn't I? Obviously.

It was just a harmless
pass out, like you said.

Uh, okay.

Lily, join us.

Okay, so, we've established

that Erica's goal is the Gold
Logie, which is terrific.

And, her strength is conviction.

So, we think her spice is,

- your lesbian best friend.
- Best friend.

Awesome. Now, we just
need to translate that

into an actual segment,
or a campaign idea.

(SIGHS) Micro, Lily.

Try to think big picture!

Yeah, well, it's not awesome because
my goal is Best Newcomer Logie

and I think my strength is "fabulous",

and so my spice is fun best friend.

No, you're fun flirty friend.
You're, "Knickers-off Nikkii"!

No, she isn't.

No, you're the one they
have to wanna bang.

ERICA: 'Cause no one would
wanna bang a woman over .

Right? Am I right, Eric?

I would.

I'd love to make love
to a -year-old woman.

Or a year old woman.
Any woman. All women.

Metaphorically speaking.

Reformed misogynist on
quest for enlightenment?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

I'm rebranding my spice
from the inside out.

And... (STRUMS UKULELE)

♪ They say the best
things come in threes ♪

♪ Why not give us all a Logie, please? ♪

- (CONTINUES SINGING)
- Hey, Lily, could we just...? Eric!

Could we have a word, please?

(PLAYS SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT ON UKULELE)

The network has supported his
Gold Logie bid for nine years.

Meanwhile, what am I?
What, chopped liver?

No, I think it's better to
focus on tomorrow's show

than external awards.

- Yeah, but...
- Just... That's down the tracks.

Yes, but now he gets to be
the rose between the thorns.

Being me and that...

everyone's favourite
sex toy at the moment.

You're genuine, Erica,

and that is why you're loved
and you are respected, okay?

Yes, but where's it got me, Lily?

Nowhere.

So... okay, now just stick with me.

I'm not going to be the lesbian friend.

I'm going to be

the relatable, expectant mother.

- Wow.
- (CHUCKLES)

- No, that's... Congratulations!
- No!

No, no, not yet. No, but
I will. I'm going to be.

And I'm gonna take Australia
on that journey with me, okay?

From insemination to delivery suite.

Or, maybe water birth. What
are your thoughts on epidural?

- Yeah, Erica...
- 'Cause it can be a bit controversial.

Uh... you can't have a
baby to win a Logie.

Lily, you're... you're talking to me.

Do you really think that I would
have a baby, just to win a Logie?

- Uh...
- No!

No, me and Carol have been on
about this for years and years

and I just figure, why not?

Especially if it makes great TV.

Now, I'm gonna have a chat to Alice.
I wanna do some polls because...

(CONTINUES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Why vote for the Breakfast Bar?

JEREMY: (SUCKS AIR BETWEEN TEETH)

It's hard to be creative
under time pressure.

I could work up some ideas
if you want, run 'em by you?

Really?

Yeah, it's not about taking credit.
It's just sharing the love.

Go on, get out of here, kid.

Actually, it'd be super helpful.

- Yep.
- Thank you. Thank you, Jeremy.

It's nothing.

Oh, at some point, we should
address the Sasha situation.

It's not the first time she's
been drunk in the office.

It's not the first time this week.

Sasha's the best in the business.

Okay, but... what does
it say about our brand

if the head of
television is unravelling?

That's something my father
would like to hear about.

So, if you're ever wondering,

this is what she meant about
being less of a dickhead.

Hi!

Sorry.

I had this whole plan that
included clean surfaces

and a home-baked meal.

(CHUCKLES) Liar. You were
never gonna bake me dinner.

(CHUCKLES) Well, that's true, but...

I was gonna take it out
of takeaway containers

and put it in really nice bowls.

- Hi.
- Hello.

Mm. So, I have a whole lot to tell you,

but first, I missed this face.

Body, not so much, but the face.

Speaking of, yours looks... different.

- Sun-kissed?
- Mm-hm.

The orange people, they're a cult, yeah?

Oh, you got funny while you were away?

And got into wrestling.

Hey, Willy Wonka called, he wants
his worker back immediately.

(MOANS)

- Ah! Ow!
- Oh! Sorry.

No, it's okay.

- Ow! You're on my...
- Sorry.

What? It is not a skin disease.

- I think I need a shower.
- (SIGHS) Really? Now?

It's been a long day.

Okay. Well, hurry back.

We have to do it at least
times before tomorrow.

It's called a sex debt.

(PHONE ALARM CHIMES)

(WHISPERS) Jack.

Babe?

♪ Cause you're a star on the screen... ♪

Well, that's it for us, this
sunny Saturday morning.

We'll see you back here, on
the couch, tomorrow at six.

NIKKII: For all the
hottest breaking news.

And, that's still news you can trust.

Indeed, it is.

Folks, I am contractually
obligated to have the last word...

What's Nikkii doing to her face?

She's been chanting "Knickers-off
Nikkii", since : am this morning.

ERICA: Thank you, Eric.

ERIC: Thank you, Erica.

Ha! And, thank you, Nikkii.

And, we're clear.

Clear. Not a moment
too soon, I'll tell ya.

Speaking of clearing...

So, what did you think?

What did you think?

I think, "Meh."

I think, "Keep sleeping,
Australia. Nothing to see here."

I think, solid.

I think we can't have a
sugar hit every show,

and we need vegetables.

Vegetables make me constipated.

I don't know why I said that.

How'd you go with the Logies pitch?

Mm. Work in progress. (CHUCKLES)

I've been thinking...

fun friend is working
really well for you.

Maybe flirty is a bit of a misstep
at this time of the morning.

Oh, you don't think I can do flirty?

- I... Of course, you...
- Because you're the expert?

Because you've been up all
night shagging the hot chef?

No. I-I genuinely am trying to...

I have a highlights appointment, so...

ERICA: Oh, Lily! Can I get your...

Hey. Can I get your producer brain
on something? I'll call you back.

Sperm donor shortlist.

Look, we've vetted them down,

but we're at a bit of an impasse.

Carol wants the atheist.

- Mm-hm?
- I don't trust that overbite.

Looks like a rabid chipmunk.

I've always thought I'd be a
good father, genetically.

I've just such little
interest in parenting.

Submit your headshot and a bio.

Perhaps I will.

ERIC: J-man, I love it! (CHUCKLES)

- This is great!
- Yes, so...

And it's never been done!

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Do you have plans this afternoon?

Well, there's the Early Bronze
Age exhibition at the university.

They call it a nuanced narrative
of Chalcolithic creativity,

but it's basically pottery.

Uh-huh.

What do you think about
keeping an eye on them instead?

I have a feeling this has
the potential to spiral.

And, I've got Vincent's July
Christmas extravaganza.

(PLAYS UKULELE)

- Is that yours?
- That's mine.

Okay, we're just putting
in an appearance

and then the rest of the
day, it's just you and me.

- I don't mind.
- I do.

I still can't believe
you slept on the couch.

- I just wanted to read for a bit.
- You could've read beside me.

No, I didn't wanna disturb you on a
show day, and then I just crashed.

Look.

- Gillian!
- Hey!

- Hi. Welcome back.
- Thank you. Hey, co-star.

Hey, Gill.

So, I made gingerbread men and a house.

- They will love you.
- Yeah.

In there. (CHUCKLES)

- Why'd you invite Gillian?
- I don't know.

Actually, I thought her and
Pete might hit it off.

He needs all the help he can get.

Why, should I not have invited her?

No, n-no, it's good.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (JINGLE BELLS PLAYING)
- (GILLIAN CHUCKLES)

- Really?
- Yes.

- Okay. I'm gonna introduce you to Pete.
- All right.

- Pete, hi. This is Gillian.
- Hey.

- Gillian, this is Pete.
- Hi.

Gillian speaks three languages

and she does things to pastry
that will make your eyes water.

Wow.

Pete once wrote a book about Radiohead

and it sold about copies.

Uh, well, that's fantastic.

Oh, it was , but I'm humble.

What's a Radiohead?

You two are gonna get along great.

Um, if you'll excuse me,
I'm just needed over there.

I'm kidding.

(SIGHS) Good. Good.

(CHUCKLES)

She is a huge fan. She's underselling.

- She watches everything you do.
- Oh, good.

I am not as big a fan
as some of my friends

but I was just asking Anthony

how you two were coping
with the separation?

Well, I just got him back, just
now, for a couple of weeks,

so we're trying to make the most of it.

Okay. TMI, Lil. A father doesn't
want to know that sort of stuff.

- TMI?!
- Sorry, Lil...

- Since when do you know TMI?
- I thought I told you...

we have to do pick-ups
down the coast tomorrow.

- No you didn't.
- I'm sure I did.

- Oh, I don't think you told me that.
- YVONNE: Communication,

it's the only way to
survive long-distance.

Bugger that, I don't let this
one out of my sight. (CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Anthony.

♪ Old man winter comes to town... ♪

I'm loving this. Lily, outside work.

VINCENT: I know, she's
like a... animal in the wild.

(CHUCKLES)

LILY: Uh. (CLEARS THROAT)

Co-hosting.

This definitely has the
look of co-hosting.

Stop it.

Don't you think things are
escalating a little quickly?

I know you're just dying to interfere,

but I like Alice.

Of course you like Alice.

It's like liking puppies.

Is there something up with Sim?

The hobbies and the...

She seeing anyone at the
moment? Lucas maybe, or...?

I haven't heard anything.

MIMI: (GASPS) Merry Christmas!

sh*t!

Did you prep Mum about
Y-vonne coming? Because I didn't.

I deliberately didn't
invite any of them.

Mum, you look... so beautiful.

Oh, my gosh, you made
my favourite potatoes!

Mum, you look so beautiful.

What do you need? What do
you need? Meditation nap?

Valium? A hunting Kn*fe?

(SIGHS)

No, no, darling, it's fine.

We're all adults.

Yvette's marrying your father,

so, she has every right to be here.

- So, a gallon of wine, then?
- (CHUCKLES)

Actually, a glass of
wine would be lovely.

Thank you.

Lily! Sorry I'm late.

I didn't know you were invited, Bernard.

- Is this a family function?
- It wasn't meant to be.

Your mother... hell of, hell of a lady.

- Should we clear the air?
- No, no, no, we don't need to.

- Just because of what happened...
- We don't need to talk about it.

- It's... fine. No.
- I just wanna make sure we don't dilute

what... you know, what
you and I, what we...

- We? Never. Sim! Sim, Sim!
- You know, like, takes or something...

- Hey!
- Hi, look, Bernard's here.

- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
- Bernard's here.

- Cool, how you going?
- Hey.

Hey. Oh! You've got a hickey.

- Is that a hickey?
- Um, no, no.

It's actually a leech bite. I've
been getting into kayaking.

- Right.
- Are you, um...?

Jesus.

For my culture. (CHUCKLES)

Ah. Happy... birthday.

- GILLIAN: What, how old were you, ?
- Uh, I don't know.

Well, anyway, we got locked
out of this dodgy hostel

and we ended up having to sleep
on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur.

German backpackers start
singing Karma Police.

- Oh...
- Yeah, and then all these people

from all around the world are
singing Radiohead, together.

Oh, my God. Awesome.

It'll always be one of my
top five life moments.

Sorry, is that a High Fidelity
reference? I love that movie.

Yeah, I... I prefer the book.

Me too.

Uh, you want another drink?

Jack? You good?

So, assuming you didn't
mention anything to him?

Classic guilt move, deflect
attention with a set-up.

I'm sorry for plonking a hot
celebrity chef in your line of sight.

Do not need a set-up, by the way.

I think we both know that's not true.

So?

Yeah, she's... she's amazing.

I mean, she looks way
too much like you, but...

first impression, she's
like a perfect woman.

Settle down.

Also, there's um... something weird
going on between her and Jack.

No, there isn't.

What do you mean, weird?
What, like exes weird?

I don't know. That's the
full extent of my intuition.

SIMONE: Pete has no intuition, okay?

- I have intuition.
- Mm-hm.

Permission to start a reconnaissance?

Okay, look at the facts.

It's a comfy couch,

but you don't choose to sleep
on it after four weeks,

unless there's something wrong.

Maybe he wanted to be
closer to the toilet.

I mean, is your relationship
at that level of intimacy

where he would tell you
if he had diarrhoea?

Well, what level is that?

And now, there's something
weird with him and Gillian.

Maybe it's a desire discrepancy.

You know, when he and I were together,

um, there was a definite
cooling-off period.

From memory, no offence,
but that cooling-off period

seemed to happen around the
time he was breaking up with you.

But he loves you.

- He asked you to marry him, Lil.
- Four weeks ago.

And now, he's sleeping on the couch.

- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- BERNARD: Hello?

Is the party in there?

- Go away, Bernard.
- Lily!

Go away!

By the way, Mims,

Bernard told me he wants to do
some pretty glorious things to you.

Oh, I know. He's been texting me
very explicit language. (CHUCKLES)

- Love it.
- Sorry, darling.

Re-joining the world now.

You know, with Anthony,

I never got the, kind of, impression

that my pleasure was
his number one priority.

So, why are you hiding in here, Mims?

God, poor Yvonne.

You're right.

You are absolutely right.

Go out there and get him.

I had an uncle who reversed his.

Oh, they don't reverse it these
days, so much as they...

- Can we not discuss this right now, darl?
- they suck it out of the testes.

Look, I know it's not the
most romantic solution,

but the results are amazing.

Mimi! Hey, how are you?

Um, you must, have you met, um...

- Yvonne!
- Yvonne?

- Hi. Hello, lovely to meet you.
- It's great to finally meet you.

I've heard so many
wonderful things about you.

Sorry, whose testes?

Oh...

- Your testes, Anthony?
- No one's testes.

Come on, Mim.

What about the children
you already have?

Why do you feel the need
to invalidate everything?

- Hey! What's going on?
- Nothing's going on.

Look, this is Vincent's party.
Can we just not do this now?

Well, I wasn't the one talking
about testes, Yvette was.

And, by the way, he never
ever changed a nappy.

Not once. That's something
you might have to put up with.

Just grow up, Mim. And, by
the way, her name's Yvonne.

I'm sorry. I know this
must be very hard.

No-no, no.

It's not that hard. I'm used to it.

BERNARD: Sorry, I just realised

I haven't actually shown you
my Vespa, out the front.

Have you seen my Vespa?

- I don't know...
- Yeah, let's go...

- Go check it out, yeah.
- Check it out, Mum.

I've never been so embarrassed.

You have nothing to be
embarrassed about, okay?

I'll take her home. All good.

Hop on.

- Thanks, Bernard.
- Allow me.

- Oh!
- Thanks.

Oh, boy.

Come on, let's get out of here.

(HORN HONKS)

PETE: Is she all right?

Thanks to Bernard.

- Man's a prince.
- Mm.

We're gonna kick on for a
drink, if you feel like escaping.

I wish I could.

- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

You... you guys go have fun.

- All right.
- See ya.

- See ya.
- Bye!

Bye.

(PHONE RINGS)

Dale?

It's not a spiral, so much as a
roller-coaster descent into hell.

What? (STAMMERS) What's he doing?

Listen...

(UKULELE AND INDISTINCT SINGING)

JEREMY: From the chest now.
Vowels too stiff, Nikkii.

Come on, open!

He's turned the campaign
into a musical number.

Why?

He says, "Everyone loves a musical."

Which is not empirically true.

Okay. You've gotta reel him back in.

He thinks he's Ryan Murphy
and Eric is enabling.

Look, I have full faith in you.

- (SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
- Look, he's ordered glitter bombs

and cleared a hole in
tomorrow's run sheet.

- Did he really?
- I need you. I need you in here.

I'm sorry, it won't take
long. Jeremy's gone rogue.

- It's fine, Lil.
- It is work.

Yeah, I know.

Did something happen
with you and Gillian?

Just... like, accidentally?

I know... I understand
that lines can get blurred.

And, if that's why you're being
weird and guilty with me...

Lil, if I've been weird with Gillian,

it's because she gives me the shits.

I forgot how much she
talks, all the time.

- Really?
- (GROANS)

- She's not perfect?
- No, I just needed a day off.

(CHUCKLES)

So, what was with the couch then?

Was that a stomach thing, or...?

I mean, I don't get how a
book can be that compelling.

Yeah, no. Uh...

No, I slept on the couch, 'cause I...

I don't know how to
sleep next to you, Lil.

Know how?

As in, you forgot, or...?

- It's...
- ANTHONY: Lil! Lil!

- Hey.
- Hey.

Lil, I think everyone's got
the wrong end of the stick.

Yes, Vonny wants a
family, and I get that,

but me, I'm just not
convinced at this point that...

Dad... not now.

Hey.

Lil, sorry, now's not the right time.

Well, it's gonna have to be.

Okay.

For the first three weeks,
I really missed you, Lil.

Like, everything felt wrong.

But then...

You stopped missing me?

You said no.

Like, I made it pretty clear

I wanna spend the rest of my
life with you and you said no.

I said, not yet.

Not yet.

And you said you understood.

Yeah...

Look, Lil...

I've been thinking about
this for the past month.

Like, I've worked with you.

Like, I've seen you.

You make decisions
fast, you're instinctive,

you know what you want and you get it.

I love that about you.

And you don't want to marry me.

I don't know how to keep being with you,

if you don't see a future with me.

- ALICE: I am so, so, so sorry.
- It's all right. It's all right.

- It's not your fault.
- I invited them.

Yeah, you're right, it is your fault.

I'm kidding.

I just... I got overexcited.

You guys are all so close,

which is like the opposite of my family.

It was crazy, right? I was
hopped up on crazy juice.

It was pretty cray.

PETE: Uh, it was a book first.

- You did the words and everything?
- Yeah, the whole deal.

You know, and that paid
me about five bucks,

so, I tried to turn it
into a doco series.

But, I don't know, apparently
it needs more of a hook.

But it's about love songs?

Ah, I don't know, like
the stories behind them.

It's a bit of pop history about
romantic love in general.

Oh, so you're a romantic?

No, I'd say more a sceptic.

I'm violently anti-soulmate, anti-fate.

The idea of being with
someone, just one person,

both arrogant and frightening.

Yeah, there's that.

Wow.

Holy sh*t, you're giant-sized.

I'm gonna get a photo for my mum.

- Eurgh! (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- Wow. Oh, Mum's gonna love this.

So, this girl who obviously
gouged your heart out

and ground it down into pate...?

- Was that a...
- Yes, just a little bit of chef humour.

- cooking metaphor? Good.
- Yeah.

Um, more like a diced and
fried situation, but...

(CHUCKLES) Was that a recent thing?

I mean, like, if you were to have
sex with someone else tonight,

would you cry during?

Uh... no.

No, I don't think I would.

Good to know.

- Drink?
- Read my mind.

MIMI: No, I'm fine. I just...

Yeah, I felt like an idiot.

Yes, he took me straight home.

Okay. All right, well,
I love you, my Lil.

Okay, bye.

Phew, you are such a good mum.

Oh, and I am such a bad liar.

Well, he's an idiot, I reckon.

- Yeah, he is.
- Yeah.

Bernard... you don't
mind if we just, like,

- walk for a bit, do you?
- Mmm.

'Cause I... I'm just
not sure if I, um...

Oh, no, no. Say no more.

No, no, that's... that's cool.

That's all good. But we had a
good time, though. We had fun.

We had a pretty... pretty sweet night.

That wasn't my best, obviously, but...

Bernard... you rocked.

Yeah?

Cool.

Right. We agreed to you
brainstorming ideas,

not gutting my run sheet.

Eric won the heart of the
nation with his song for Erica.

- And it was lightening in a bottle.
- Exactly.

And now, we're doing it again
with all three of them.

Who's paying for their overtime?

That's why you're so great in
the control room, it's the details.

(PHONE RINGS)

It is not a detail to say
we do breakfast television.

We do news, we do
weather, we do not sing.

Every time I try to offer you
something you just sh*t all over it.

No, I don't.

I don't!

I want us to be partners with
complementary strengths.

But you are not a good sharer, Lily.

: .

No costumes, no glitter b*mb.

One verse.

Verse and a chorus, : ,
Eric wears his sequin jacket.

: am.

Gold jacket.

No sequins.

SASHA: Sounds like a good save.

I don't... (SIGHS) I thought
maybe it would be catchy?

I don't know.

I'm starting to doubt my instincts.

- Have a drink with me.
- Thanks.

Shouldn't you be at home right
now, desecrating the Kama Sutra?

God, I'm old. (CHUCKLES) You
just download p*rn. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, I am avoiding home tonight.

Well-trodden path to happiness.

Thanks.

(SNIFFLES)

- Woodward.
- Sorry.

We're behind the camera. We
don't bring our tears to work.

Um, I might be overstepping
the mark a little bit...

but... (SIGHS)

Jeremy's started making comments.

- About?
- Ab...

About me? (CHUCKLES)

Oh, the little prick.

Yeah, I guess...

I'm just asking too.

Are you okay?

You're the one sniffling in my office

with a half-baked Logies campaign.

(SNIFFLES)

Go home.

Make it right with the nice
man with the broad shoulders.

Thank you.

PETE: The thing is, Ni... Nikkii,
I'm not really sure what I...

Yeah, just... just up
here on the left, thanks.

Uh, no. Yep, sure thing.

I'll... Yep.

All good?

Uh, no. A bit of a drama
at work, actually.

I might need to go into the office.

Oh. Do you wanna come by after?

I mean, I'm filming tomorrow,
so if it's not too late then...

Uh, it might be. I just... I don't know.

- Okay.
- I'm sorry.

No, that's okay. Don't be sorry.

Okay. I still kind of feel
like I should say sorry.

I mean... it was honestly
great meeting you.

- And I definitely think we should...
- Yeah. Yep.

Okay.

NIKKII: Look, I know we don't
know each other very well.

I don't even know your last name.

Uh, Barnett.

Okay. But I really appreciated
the burkini segment

and I feel like your writing
really suits my voice.

So, do you wanna go over
tomorrow's show, or...?

I need an outside opinion.

That's why I'm here.

I'm not sexy.

That's the issue. I need to be.

Last in, first out. Everyone knows that.

Sexy has become critical to my survival.

Well, I mean, sexy's uh...
it's a state of mind, isn't it?

You know, it's like a... (SNAPS
FINGERS) a chemistry thing.

- You can't force it.
- (SNAPS)

You can't...

force it.

That's good.

I mean, sometimes you
can find someone sexy

without wanting to have sex with them.

- You can?!
- Mm. Definitely.

And, even if you do want
to have sex with them,

you can still get stuck in your head

because, I mean, there
are consequences to sex.

- Herpes?
- And children.

Heartbreak, disillusionment...

And then sometimes you go eight
or nine months without having sex

without even realising it.

Which is possibly a
sign of unresolved...

mild depression even.

Two years.

Really?

Well, I mean, that's not...

Four years.

Wow.

- And a half.
- Okay.

My fiancé and I decided to wait.

That's just natural.

I mean, was it, like,
religious reasons, or...?

Mainly, because it turned out...

he was gay.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (LAUGHS)

MESSAGE: (ON PHONE)
You have one new message.

JACK: Hey,

I thought I'd start
driving down the coast.

I thought we could use...

Well, I'm not sure if...

more space is a good or
bad thing at this point.

Anyway, I've said more than I meant to.

I love you, Lily.

I know that.

(PHONE DISCONNECTS)

(PHONE RINGS)

Sim, hi.

How's your night?

Bet you my last bagel
it's less shitty than mine.

SIMONE: Um, I'm less sure.

Where are you?

LILY: Sim?

- Lil?
- Sim!

Lil!

- (CHUCKLES) Lil!
- Wha...? What are you doing?

I can't get up. I had
a core strength fail.

Oh, here.

- (GROANS)
- Oh!

- (CHUCKLES)
- (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

What have you... What
have you got in here?

- It's this clip. What...?
- Rocks.

Ah. Ugh.

Ah.

- (SIGHS)
- Rocks?

Why?

I'm training for a hike.

- What...?
- Into the wild.

What, you crawl into a bear
and you die of frostbite?

No, no, the other one.

Reese Witherspoon.

Still, why?

You gotta fill your life with something.

You've been filling
yours with a lot lately.

Are you crying?

(WEEPS) I've missed it.

And, if I sit still for too long,

I remember how much
I've missed the window.

I love him.

I love him so much...

that my bones hurt.

Oh, Sim.

Tell him.

(SIGHS)

He's happy.

He is...

the happiest that I've seen
him since the accident.

There's a good chance that
I've missed my window, too.

With Jack.

Bad?

Mm.

Can you wedge it open?

I don't know.

Do you want to wedge it open?

Or is it closed for a reason?

Fu...

Nikkii.

- (GROANS)
- Nikkii.

Nikkii, Erica's wearing
your dress today.

- Oh, my God! What are you doing?
- I'm just...

- Get off me!
- Ow.

Oh, my God!

How did this happen?

♪ Teach me tiger ♪

♪ How to kiss you ♪

♪ Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa... ♪

And then, you asked
me to host your show.

You said I was the hook.

Yeah, I do not remember
that. (CLEARS THROAT)

No one can ever know about this. Ever!

Hand to God, you have my word.

Don't look!

Well, I don't know.

I'm only gauging that
from the length of his tie.

Look, I've gotta go. Love you, bye.

Medical records, high school
and university transcripts.

The primary baldness gene
is on the X chromosome,

not to obfuscate the issue.

Ah, I didn't know if that was a
factor in your selection process.

You just said obfuscate.

- Yeah.
- In context.

Mm-hm.

Tick, tick, Dad.

No. No, Eric is washed out.

No, I need pop and I need sparkle.

What light is pop and sparkle?

Seems a bit flat in here,
lighting wise, doesn't it?

Five minutes.

(SIGHS) Get Lily.

ERIC: That always been that high?

- So what flavour?
- Um, just Twisties.

- Just, generally, Twisties.
- (PHONE RINGS)

It's Jeremy.

I don't wanna know.

- Lily?
- I took a personal day, sorry.

I cleared it with Sasha.
I thought you knew.

Who's gonna call the show? Tell me that.

Well, I guess you'll have to.

You know I don't do details, Lily.

It's your run sheet now. I'm
sure you're more than capable.

Lily, don't do this. Please come in.

Sharing the love.

- ALICE: Four minutes!
- Okay. I can do this.

It's Jeremy time.

All right...

I need a fill on Eric,

and can someone please
bring Nikkii to the floor?

Remedy that!

- You don't mind, do you?
- N... no.

Good to keep my hands dirty.

Yeah, no, if... you need to
do this you, then go for it.

Yep. Okay, let's do this, guys.

ERIC: Little bit of a... Hi, Nikkii.

- (APPLAUSE)
- Yes.

Wow! Huh?

Little bit of Broadway right there.

Stunning.

You been practising this?

What?! She looks amazing, doesn't she?

- Yeah, I picked that.
- Did you?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm sure you did.

I haven't done this for a while.

- That's fantastic.
- There was a tone when you said that.

Leave the dress alone, just sit down.

Gillian. Gillian, hi.

What... what are you doing out here?

Is he here? I really
need to talk to him.

(CHUCKLES)

- Where are you?
- I'm here.

Well, I'm here. (CHUCKLES)

You are?

I'm really here.

I'm all there heres, in fact.

With all... all the heres
in all the senses.

You don't have to do
that, Lil. Honestly, I...

That's what I came back to say.

I should never have... I don't
know... threatened like that.

I'm... opening the window.

And the doors and...

the skylight.

Honestly, Lil, I reckon,
screw the future.

You, now, that's enough.

No, but you see, I just... I realised...

I want more than enough.

Jack Winters...

I want forever.