02x12 - Easy Crier

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALARM RINGING)

Hi, honey.

Mom.

Okay, what smile
should I use

for my class
picture tomorrow?

Should I do, you know

the whole bored-
fashion-model look?

Or should I, you know,
do the Mona Lisa?

Honey, I know that you
are very self-conscious

about your braces.

Well, sure. I don't want people
to remember me

as the girl with the fence
across her teeth.

Well, I spoke
to Dr. Paz this morning.

He said you didn't have
to wait until next week

to get your braces off.

That he could squeeze you
in tomorrow before school.

Mom! That is so...

-I know you must be.
-I am.

Oh, I knew you would be.

Hi, there.

Listen, I hate

to interrupt what's clearly
a beautiful mother-daughter

moment here, but, um...

there's a small little problem
in my bedroom.

It's very scary.

Louis! How many times
have I told you

not to leave leftover sushi
under your bed?

Look, I'm sorry. There's
so many rules in this house

it's hard to keep
them all straight.

Copy that. I'll k*ll the alarm.

Guys, watch
my bed frame.

What's going on?

There's spacemen
all over the place.

They're not spacemen.

Louis just left a
platter of raw fish

under his bed
for two weeks.

So, then, that created
an environmental disaster

and Mom had to call
the hazardous waste removal team.

Louis, it is going
to take two weeks to k*ll

whatever is growing
in that room.

Mom, where am I going
to sleep for two weeks?

Well, you should
have thought of that

before you turned your room
into a teeming bacterial pit.

Oh!

Hey, look, you can bunk
with me, bro.

-Yeah? Really?
-Yeah.

You're sure you want
to live with Polluto Lad?

Well, you know,
we haven't been spending

much time together.

I figure this will
be fun for us, huh?

Except my room is
a strictly no-sushi zone. Okay?

Right. Oh, yeah, not a problem.
I'll just get my PJs.

I'm going in.

Got 'em.

Good. Let's go.

Ah... Sorry I was late.

Two of my patients have
a little romance going

and their braces locked.

(LAUGHING MERRILY)

Oh, that always tickles me.

Ah... extremely painful
for them, though.

(CLEARING THROAT)

So, how's your brother
Louis doing?

It must be fun living with him.

(MUMBLING)

Yes, he's a delightful young man.

(MUMBLING)

After three long,
sometimes painful years

I imagine
you're anxious to see

how your teeth
came out, huh?

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Of course.
Who wouldn't be?

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

You've got
a slight infection there.

Uh-huh? Uh-huh-huh?

Oh, it's nothing to worry about.

I'm just going to have
to keep the braces on

for another three years.

Huh?

Ah, it's just
a little orthodontic humor.

Okay, now, brace yourself.

(LAUGHING)

There I go again.

Okay.

I'm just going to dab on

some medication there.

Okay. Let me
get over there.

Ah...

And... voila!

(HAPPY SHRIEK)

You smooth little angels.

I could just stare
at these all day.

Yes, except you'll
be taking up

some expensive chair time

and you need
to be back at school

for your class picture.

Oh, school. I'm late.

Oh, Ren, don't forget
to watch out

for some mild side effects
from the medication.

Right. Whatever.

(GIGGLES)

Don't worry.
You will smile again.

Oh...

Here's my next victim.

MAN:
Zellpepper.

Yeah, that-- that's me.

Okay.

Look at Mr. Happy Bunny

and say "Crappizi."

-Crappizi?
-(SHUTTER CLICKS)

Mr. Zellpepper,

you're my last masterpiece.

I-- I think my face
was kind of distorted.

Oh, relax, kid.
They'll touch it up at the lab.

You'll look just
like Regis Philbin.

But I don't want to
look like Regis Philbin.

He's a very attractive man.

Oh, thank goodness
you're still here.

I'm Ren Stevens.

Park it.

I'm really sorry I'm late.
My orthodontist...

Spare me the sob story,
will you?

It's kind of funny.

I'm never really late.

Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Look at Mr. Happy Bunny

and say "Crappizi."

-Crappizi!
-(SHUTTER CLICKS)

Okay.

That's it. You're done.

Did I look okay? Eyes open?

No blinks?

Oh, no.
You looked perfect, kid.

You're going to want
an eight-by-ten

to hang on the wall
and little wallets

for Grandma to hand
out at the home.

(GASPS)

Thank you so much.

If you're happy,

I'm happy.

Bye-bye, Mr. Happy Bunny.

Wow. Look at her.

Hello.

Wow!

Oh, hi.

Oh, hey, Louis.

Notice anything different?

No braces...

Oh, no braces, right. Sorry--

I was distracted
by your cheeks.

Why were you distracted
by my cheeks?

It looks like
you're smuggling

meatballs from
the cafeteria.

Here, look.

Oh, my...

I look like a...

Blowfish.

Good, Louis!

Hey, is that
going to go away?

No. Yes.

The medication
that the guy gave me...

Okay, I just took
my class picture looking like this.

What am I going to do?

You know what you do? You go to
the guy and you schedule a reshoot.

A reshoot.
Thank you, you genius.

Thank you.

Oh... Mr. Crappizi?

You said that my picture
was perfect.

Yeah? So.

Didn't you notice my cheeks?

How could I miss those babies?

I thought
they always looked

freakishly huge.

I didn't want to insult you.

Ah. How very sweet of you.

I demand a reshoot.

Huh! Forget it, kid.

-It's against company policy.
-What?

"No reshoots."

Oh, no.
Sir, please.

Oh... please.

(SIGHS)

I'll tell you what, kid.

If your principal will
spring for the dough,

-I'll give you a--
-Reshoot.

-Sh!
-(GASPS)

This is great.

I am Principal Wexler's
favorite student.

This will definitely
not be a problem.

Ren, this
is definitely a problem.

I can't authorize any reshoots.

But my-- my orthodontist,
he gave me some medicine

and it made my cheeks swollen.

They look fine to me.

Ren, I can't tell you

how many requests
I've had for reshoots.

If I give one to you,
I have to give one to everybody.

Okay, so the swelling
went down

but, Mr. Wexler... it's me.

I fed your cat
when you went to Club Med...?

Ren, I can't believe

a talented, accomplished
student like yourself

is so concerned
about a silly picture.

It's my eighth-grade
yearbook picture

and instead of happy memories,

every time I look at it,
I'm going to remember

what a miserable day I had.

I'm sorry, Ren.

-But I...
-Case closed.

Hi, honey, I'm home.

You're late.

Oh. Was Mom worried?

No. She just figured that
you got in some trouble

and Wexler gave you
paper pickup again.

You know what's ridiculous?

You make one rude sound
during the Pledge of Allegiance

it's like a whole federal case.

Look, yearbook photos are here.

Where are they?

(SCREAMS)

(DERISIVE LAUGH)

What is going on here?

(SHRIEKS)

Oh. Uh, honey...

it's not so bad.

(YELLS)

Louis. Don't rub it in.

Oh, it's my picture.

It's the most embarrassing
thing I've ever seen in my life.

Oh, now, Louis, you look
very handsome in this picture.

I made the best
shaved-dog-butt face

and this hack
totally missed it.

Shaved-dog-butt face?

You're comparing your

shaved-dog-butt face
to my situation?

No. Yours is
much worse, you see.

Yours will be plastered
all over the yearbook

whereas mine
will only be in once.

What are you
talking about?

Well, don't they put
your picture in

for every activity?

I mean, school
policy monitor

editor of the paper,
that lost-and-found thing...

And you're probably going
to be valedictorian.

-There you go.
-Okay, enough.

I can't believe

this is how people are
going to remember me.

That's what you get
for being a high-achiever.

Oh, honey.

You know, it's not even
about the picture.

It's... it's an injustice.

Well, there is
an alternative.

What? Transfer schools?

Let me show you something.

You know, Ren,
when I was in college

we petitioned
the administration

to offer some courses
in women's studies.

They wouldn't even
listen to us.

It was so unjust.

We organized a protest.

Hey, Mom, that's you.

"Girls Whine For Rights."

That's totally chauvinistic.

Well, that's what we
were fighting against

and I even wrote
a protest song.

Hmm.

Okay, I'm going to see
if I can remember it.

Hey, Mr. Man-Male

You're not our master

Sisters stand strong

Sisters stand strong

You may think fast

But we think faster

Sisters stand strong

Sisters stand strong

Come on, Ren, sing with me.

Sisters stand strong

Sisters stand strong

Sisters stand strong

Sisters stand strong

Don't let them push
you around at school.

You fight for what
you believe in.

Sisters stand strong

-Yeah.
-Sisters stand strong

Come on.

Oh! Aah!
Scores off the rebound!

Ohh...

Bring it back. Bring it back!

That's right.

All right, all right.

-Hey, good game.
-Yeah, it's a good game

except for the little
victory dance.

You know, I think
stinky-sock basketball

needs to be
in the next Olympics.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Hey, Louis,
where did you get

the hardware for this rim?

Off of your bed.

What?

No, I did a little
structural test, though.

I mean, it's sound. It's good.

See?

Yeah.

Hey, you know, it's been pretty fun
having you as a roomie.

Yeah, it has been fun.

Except for the fact that
all my stuff is in the attic.

Well, you know, if you want

to bring in a couple of things,
Louis, that's okay.

-You sure about that?
-Yeah.

Mi casa es su casa.

I'm going to use the can.

All right.

Oh! Aah!

Louis!

What'd you do to my room?

Donnie, if you weren't the best
big brother in the world

then I demand a recount.

I love you, man.

(GROWLS)

Ah! I love you, too,
you little whackball, you!

Too much love.

What?

-Too much love.
-Ah!

That's right, people,
keep it moving.

See-- this could
happen to you.

What in the Sam Hill
is going on here?

Mr. Wexler!

We're exercising
our constitutional right to protest.

About what?

We stopped serving porkadillas
in the cafeteria weeks ago.

It's not about the food,
Mr. Wexler.

We want the chance to take reshoots
for the yearbook.

We are... The Blinkers.

-CROWD: Yeah!
-What do we want?

-CROWD: Reshoots!
-When do we want them?

As soon as it's feasible

but sometime within
the next six weeks.

We're trying to get
a snappier chant.

Ren, are you still whining
about those yearbook pictures?

"Whining"?

Ha-ha!

You still don't get it,
do you, Mr. Man-Male?

-You are not our master.
-What?

Okay, the point is

the photographer--
he just wanted to get the money

and get out of here
as soon as possible.

Ren, this protest
is embarrassing

to the school
and to me personally.

It will stop now.

Okay, Mr. Wexler,
whatever you say.

Good.

Just as long as you authorize
those reshoots.

Let me be clear:

No reshoots.
Not now...

not when it's feasible...

not ever.

That's fine, then.

We'll just be out here
every day

before and after school.

Ren, if I ever see
that group again

you won't have to worry
about a yearbook picture

because you will
be expelled.

So what are we
going to do?

I mean, uh,
are we giving up?

I don't know.

(SIGHS)

(THUNDER CRASHING)

There's one big storm
brewing out there.

Louis!

Hey, bro.

What's going on?

Oh, I felt bad
about messing up your bed

so I strung up a couple
of hammocks for us.

-Great. Hammocks?
-Yeah.

You know,
in certain civilizations,

the hammock
is the ultimate luxury.

Who cares?! Get out!

I get the top.

I'm so bushed, I could sleep
anywhere right now.

You know, Louis,
the way I figure it,

you're only living here
one more week

so all I have to do
is suck it up...

and relax.

-Hey, Donnie.
-Yeah, Louis?

-Hey, I have another surprise for you.
-What?

Well, uh, I know how you always
wanted a skylight in here, so...

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(SCREAMS)

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Remodeling tip:
never seal up a skylight

with elastic
from your underwear.

-Louis?
-Yeah?

Get out of here!

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(SCOFFS) Power's out.

Never let Donnie win at stinky-
sock basketball ever again.

Hey!

-Lou!
-Donnie!

Why are you whacking
me with the pillow?

I was practicing my swing.

The power's out.

What?!

The power is out.

You think?

(CHUCKLES)

Look... I just came down to say
I'm sorry for yelling at you

and threatening
to break you in half.

You didn't thr*aten
to break me in half.

Oh. I guess I just
thought about doing it.

-Yeah.
-Hey,

what do you say, man,
still roomies?

Yeah. Yeah, still roomies.

Cool. Except for the fact

that my room's kind of
underwater right now.

-That's no problem-- we'll bunk here.
-Cool.

-Good?
-Yeah.

-I got this side.
-I got this side.

Nice.

Scoot over.

Hey, you have the remote control
for the television?

The power is out.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

(BOTH SCREAM)

Mom and Dad's room?

I'm right behind you!

You want reshoots?

Ren, Ren, Wexler's coming.
What do we do?

Why is this my decision?

Because you have
the most to lose.

Right, the whole
"expelling" thing.

(SIGHS)

Look, right is right.

Let's go. It's on!

Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!

ALL:
Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!

That's right, people,
loud and proud.

Sing until the cows
come home.

Ren, I warned you.

I'm sorry, sir,
but sometimes you just

need to stick to your principles.

Do not talk to a principal
about principles.

My office, after school, today!

STUDENTS:
Give a hoot!

Let's reshoot!
Give a hoot!

Wow, Ren,

you actually stood up to Wexler.
That was so great.

Thanks, Ryan.

I'm really going
to miss you.

STUDENTS:
Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!

Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!

Hi. Uh, you are not
going to believe this.

What, you got
paper pickup again?

-Alert the media.
-No. It's what I found

when I was picking up the papers
that might interest you.

Louis, my whole
academic career

is about to go up
in smoke, okay?

What could you possibly...

Holy Moly.

Oh... Louis...

-I love you.
-And there's more...

That's too much love!
That's too much love!

Ren.

Hi, Mr. Wexler.

Holy Bundt cakes!
Where did you get these?

Oh, well,

I was just wondering
which one of these pictures

you would like in the yearbook.

Ren, you don't understand.

The principal's photo
has to have

a certain amount
of dignity.

Oh, and exactly
how many reshoots did you do

until you found one
"dignified" enough?

-(PRINCIPAL WEXLER COUGHS)
-Excuse me?

-Seventeen.
-Hm.

You may not know this about me

but, uh, I have
some vanity issues.

That is no excuse
for being unjust.

That photographer was
an incompetent, bumbling jerk

who should have
never been hired.

I know, but he came cheap.

And giving everyone
reshoots

would just be admitting
to the school board

that I made a horrible mistake.

(PAPER SHREDDER GRINDING)
But you're right.

I'm the principal--

I need to set a good example.

It's like they say at Club Med--

"If you can't stand the heat,
stay out of the hot tub."

So I'm not expelled?

Of course not.

Truth be told,
I admire your pluck.

Well, it's nice to
have my pluck admired.

And I'll arrange for you
to have that reshoot.

Oh, as well as
everyone else's, too.

Ren.

Principal Wexler.

We won.

(CHEERING)

ALL:
Reshoot! Reshoot! Reshoot!

Reshoot!

This is the part
where you scatter.

Now!

God!

Stevens!

One, two...

Uh...

Did I look like
a shaved-dog-butt face?

Uh, pretty much.

Well, there you go.
Perfect.

Uh...

Ren Stevens.

That's me.

Ready?

One...

two...