02x16 - Wombat Wuv
Posted: 11/20/21 07:34
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALARM RINGING)
(SLURPS)
(LIGHTSABERS HUMMING)
(expl*si*n)
(LOUD SNEEZE)
(SNEEZES)
(COUGHS)
(MOANS)
Oh, honey, how are you feeling?
Oh-oh, I-I...
I am perfectly miserable.
You poor thing!
Let me feel your head.
Ren, you are still burning up.
I know, I know,
but I have to get going.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You are staying
right where you are.
Mom, I have to go to school.
No, you need to rest.
Mom, I can't miss school.
I haven't missed single day.
Do you see that empty
frame over there?
Well, that is for my award
for my perfect attendance record.
If I don't go, I'm not
going to get the award
and I'm not going to
be having a picture frame
with a little gold thing
on the side...
Ren, Ren, honey, you're babbling.
Okay, you're sick.
You are staying home
and you are staying in bed.
What am I supposed to do all day?
Well, you're going to rest
and you're going to feel better.
I have a great idea.
Why don't you watch
one of these great old musicals?
You love these.
(MUSIC PLAYS)
Aw, look.
(LOUD SNEEZING)
Don't worry, I'm on it!
(LOUD SNEEZING)
That was some sneeze, son.
Are you all right?
No, not really. I got a lot of, um...
a lot of phlegm.
You know... a lot of mucus.
So, I'm calling it, um...
uh, phlucus.
-Phlucus, huh?
-It's bad.
-Wow. Sorry to hear that.
-Yeah.
Dang it, I didn't really want to miss
Coach Tugnut's obstacle course test.
It was really important to me.
It's something I could excel...
(LOUD SNEEZE)
Sorry, Dad.
Sorry about that. Sorry.
There you go.
So, uh, am I burning up or what?
I don't know.
I'm just resting my hand
while I look for something.
-Here, let me tuck you in.
-You know what? I'm tucked in fine, Dad.
I'm tucked in fine.
Aha!
-No.
-Give me that!
-No.
-Give me that! Come on!
(THROUGH LOUDSPEAKER):
You're faking it!
Now get dressed for school.
Move! Move!
Hurry up! Come on!
Not that belt!
All right, let's go!
See you later, Dad.
-Okay, son.
-Yeah.
I'm ridin' the range in
I'm sittin' on my best pal
Named Curly
I sing to my horse
There something
Wrong with that...
(SNEEZES, COUGHS)
I've got to get that award.
(MUSIC ENDS)
Ren, you're late.
(COUGHS)
I know. I'm sorry, sir.
I felt a little sick this morning
but I think I'm okay now.
Well, grab yourself a tardy slip
and take a seat.
-I gotta do the morning announcements.
-Thank you.
(MUSIC STARTS)
(SINGING) Lawrence Junior High
Won't you lend me an ear?
I hope this PA system
Is loud and clear
Now, listen up, people
I got something to say
These are the morning announcements
For today
Be sure to check the lost and found
Between classes
There's a comb in there
And a pair
Of really thick glasses
Looks like somebody, hmm
Lost their pants
There's a full salami sandwich
And some complementary ants
Oh!
I hope you seventh graders
Got a lot of rest
Because today's
Your physical endurance test
Tugnut's wearing a crazy grin
Sixth period in the gym
-Let the pain begin
-Let the pain begin
That's all for this morning
Oh, did I mention
There's only one name
On the list for detention?
He's never been accused
Of overachieving
He's that goofy little troublemaker
Louis Stevens
-Who?
-Louis Stevens
-Oh!
-Now I'm leaving
Out
Well, Ren, what do you think?
That was interesting.
WEXLER: Well, thank you.
(LOUIS LAUGHING)
Oh, sorry, Ren.
So, Mom and Dad made you
come to school, too, huh?
(COUGHS) No. I begged them to let me go,
and I still had to sneak out.
Oh, really? I like that, Ren.
Twitty, take a note.
Every time I'm dealing with my parents,
do everything backwards.
It's called reverse psychology, actually.
It's very effective.
I don't want to psych anybody out.
I really like school.
I like school, too. Except for
the classrooms, teachers and tests.
Like Coach Tugnut's
physical endurance exam?
Yeah, exactly. Like that.
I'll never take that test.
How are you gonna get out of it?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, well, right now I'm not
at liberty to say.
What does that mean?
Uh, that just means
he hasn't figured it out yet.
Louis, you better think fast
'cause the test is sixth period.
Oh, Connie, please, don't worry about it,
okay? I always find a way.
-(COUGHS)
-(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)
LOUIS: (SINGING)
I'm not strong
I'm not fast
When it comes to endurance
I just can't last
So I'll get out of gym
Like I have in the past
Like the time you wore
The huge full-body cast
I always find a way
-He always finds a way
-He always finds a way
No one can produce
An excellent excuse like you
What can I say?
He always finds a way
-A pathetic wheeze
-(WHEEZES)
-A powerful sneeze
-(SNEEZES)
The time you filled your ears up
With cottage cheese
And said it was because
Of my sweat allergies
That one got me
Out of gym with ease
I always find a way
-He always finds a way
-He always finds a way
He can easily create
Ways to abbreviate
-His gym period stay
-His gym period stay
-I always find a way
-He always finds a way
He always finds a way
But not today
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Oh, we should...
-Yeah, probably.
-Yeah, probably.
I'm having
the weirdest day, you guys.
I can't even wait till it's over
and I'm home in bed.
Yeah, well, I'll just be happy
when our science presentations are over.
Yeah. I know you're going
to win that science medal.
I hope so.
I've been dreaming about it
since the day I was born.
Well, you'll find out sixth period.
Why? What's happening
sixth period?
That's when our presentations
are due.
You're doing yours
on the space program, right?
I am?
Ren, that assignment counts
for half our grade.
You sure it's today?
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
She's kidding.
(LAUGHING) That's good.
(LAUGHING)
Hey, guys.
Ren, I think you should know
my science presentation
is so awesome.
Whoo! I can start polishing
that science medal now.
I doubt it, Larry.
Ren's going to kick
your butt as usual.
No, guys, I'm sorry, but...
I don't know if it's the fever but
I really, really don't remember
anything about this presentation.
Yeah, right, Ren, okay.
You've been working
on this thing for months.
Well forget about it, okay?
'Cause I'm not
letting my guard down.
RUBY:
Ren, you're serious?
You haven't done any research
on the space program?
No. I have to get to the library.
(POP ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING)
What's the matter with Ren?
She's usually so responsible
Tell me, could it be possible
She's losing her touch?
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
She's usually so reliable
-But her flakiness is undeniable
-Sorry.
Oh, this is too much
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
The space assignment's
Something that she knew about
And it really isn't like her to forget
But instead of knowing about space
She is spacing out
Ironically, Ren's now a space cadet
Everybody's asking me again and again
So I'll tell you what's the matter
What's the matter with Ren
She's cracking under pressure
'Cause when it comes to science
Larry Beale is one of those
Academic giants
Finally, I'm gonna get
My chance to shine
'Cause that science medal
Is gonna be mine
She used to keep me down
But this is now, that was then
And that's what's the matter
What's the matter
With Ren
-What's the matter with Ren?
-My book bag.
-LARRY: What?
-She used to be so dependable
-I just told you
-She doesn't seem like our friend at all
What's happened to her?
What's the matter with Ren?
-She can't take the heat
-What's the matter with me?
-LARRY: She's smelling defeat
-What's the matter with me?
My victory will be sweet
What's the matter with me?
What's the matter with Ren?
(SIGHS)
Okay, find info
on the space program.
Find excuses
on how to get out of gym.
Come on, come on,
I don't have all day.
Come on, come on,
you adorable computer, please.
Work your magic.
There we go.
-(COMPUTER BEEPING)
-Did it. Did it.
-(BEEPS)
-I did that twice.
-(BEEPS)
-"Man first landed on the moon in ."
Okay, I already knew that.
What else you got?
COMPUTER:
Good-bye.
No! No, no, no, no,
not good-bye.
Don't say good-bye.
Please don't say good-bye to me.
Oh come on, I wouldn't even do that.
That's physically impossible.
-(YELLS)
-(YELLS)
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
-STUDENTS: (SINGING) Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period is drawing near
To ruin my junior high career
That test run by Tugnut
It's gonna kick my butt
Oh, how you fill my heart with dread
Sixth period
STUDENTS: Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
-I'll tell my college plans farewell
-Gee, we remember when
-When I hear that sixth-period bell
-We could rely on Ren
-I think I ate bad shrimp
-Stevens, don't be a wimp
Try and be a man instead
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
-Ren's presentation time has come
-Oh, I can't wait to see
-Oh, no, I'm gonna look so dumb
-What Ren's prepared for me
We hope we leave the gym
With all of our limbs
And of course
With all our heads
Steve, Ren's not in her bed
-We better find her
-Yeah, let's hustle
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, I think I pulled a muscle
(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES)
-Wow, these halls get so crowded
-ALL: Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Boys, it's been pointed out
that my little obstacle course here
is dangerous,
cruel and sadistic.
Also, that I personally...
am dangerous, cruel and sadistic.
So, I have decided...
to cancel sixth period.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Just kidding.
I'm also funny.
I should add that.
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
-Uh, Coach. Coach.
-What?
Um, I don't think Louis is gonna be able
to run the course today.
I'm afraid he's
suffering from green nose.
Green nose?
Yeah, the dreaded
green nose disease.
You know, first your nose
turns green and then...
Mommy, can I have
my buttercup?
You start shouting off these
stupid phrases, and you can't control it.
Well, that looks pretty bad.
-Yeah.
-I'd better twist it off.
No! you shouldn't do that, sir!
Because, uh, because, uh... it's...
it's, uh...
Whoa, look at that!
It's only paint.
Some of the guys probably did it
'cause I'm so popular in school, you know.
All right, enough nonsense.
Let's start the test.
Okay, boys, all you
need to do to pass gym
is complete the tire run...
...jump a little rope,
jog on the treadmill
and climb this rope.
That's it?
That doesn't seem bad.
That's nothing.
Oh, and, uh...
survive seconds
in the Cage of Doom.
(LAUGHS)
-(SOBS)
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
Welcome, lads
Now I must enforce
Your participation
In the obstacle course
Designed by me
With no remorse
I'm the master of the gym
-(TWITTY GROANING)
-Master, I'm the master
-(GROANING)
-I'm the master of the gym
Faster
For the master's
-Patience has run thin
-Whoa!
This is a test
That you won't forget
You'll be soaking wet
With sweat
Hurry up or you will regret
Ending up like him
-(SCREAMING)
-Master, I'm the master
I'm the master of the gym
Move faster for the master
Or your future will be grim
How much more of this
are we gonna take?
I mean, there's of us
and one of him.
(SINGING)
You have lost your authority
This here is a mutiny
From now on
It is plain to see
We're the masters of the gym
Masters
We're the masters
-(SCREAMING)
-We're the masters of the gym
-(WHIMPERING)
-Move faster for the masters
Or your future's looking grim
Masters
-We're the masters
-(TREADMILL BEEPING)
-Now we're getting back at him
-(YELPING)
Masters
We're the masters
-(SOBBING) No!
-We're the masters of the gym
Stevens! Oh!
(LIQUIDS BUBBLING)
As you will see, by rearranging
a few of these measly molecules
I can actually turn this
revolting slab of liver
into...
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(LAUGHS)
...into a delicious
slab of chocolate.
One for you.
Mmm... delicious!
-Yummy! Well done, Larry.
-I know.
You know, there's only one
thing standing between you
and this beautiful,
shiny science medal,
and that's Ren,
who's been longing for this
ever since she was about...
hmm, born.
Ren, you're up.
Good luck.
I'm toast.
Come on, you can't
let Larry Beale b*at you.
-Guys, I have nothing.
-You're smart. Make something up.
All I know about the space program
is that the guy went to the moon in .
Good enough.
-Go!
-Go!
Go.
(CHUCKLES)
(GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)
Well...
(SINGING)
We went to the moon in
Um...
Not , but a year later
We went to the moon in
That's when the astronauts
First walked inside a crater
-We went to the moon in
-(ALL VOCALIZING)
Not , but a year sooner
We went to the moon in
That's when they made a landing
That was lunar
STUDENTS:
We didn't go up to the sun or stars
We didn't go to Mercury or Mars
But we went to the moon
In
Not , but the year after
And once they got there
The astronauts felt fine
They smiled at each other
And there was laughter
We went to the moon in
Not , a year before
Uh-huh
The rocket that flew
Had a really neat design
When it took off,
The engines made a roar
(ROCKET ROARS)
We went to the moon in
The trip wasn't all that easy
And when we got there,
We were surprised to find
That it was solid
And it wasn't cheesy
ALL:
We went up to the M-double-O-N
We went up to the moon
Sing it again
We went to the moon in
Not , but a year sooner
We went to the moon in
That's when they made a landing
That... was...
Lunar
(MUSIC ENDS)
Ren, that was brilliant, inspiring,
and quite a toe-tapper.
Thank you, Ms. Lovelson.
No, wait a minute.
Okay, she didn't say anything except...
(SINGING) "We went to the moon."
I know, Larry. That's why Ren
is receiving a failing grade.
I'm failing?
I got an F?
(LAUGHS)
Well, what do you know, Ren?
(MUSIC RESUMES)
Ren got an F
That's got to be a first
I can't believe that
She messed up so badly
Ren got an F
This is my lucky day
I'm sorry that it
Had to end so sadly
ALL: Ren got an F
-Ren got an F
-Ha, ha!
Ren got an F
-Ren got an F
-Stop singing!
Stop singing!
No, just stop singing.
Stop singing.
Stop singing!
(SNEEZES)
(SNIFFLES)
Hey, Ren.
Feeling better?
Yeah, much.
Yeah, Ren, sorry you won't be getting
that attendance award.
As a matter of fact, we all
wanted to tell you how we feel.
-(MUSIC RESUMES)
-(SINGING) There'll be no award
You missed a day of school
You never should have gotten influenza
It's just an award
It doesn't mean a thing
I think that we should sing
Another stanza
It's just an award
It's just an award
It's just an award
-It's just an award
-(SCREAMS)
EILEEN: Ren, Ren!
Ren, honey, honey.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm really awake, right?
Of course you are.
You just had a bad dream.
Hey, you know what?
Your fever's broken.
I do feel better.
Hey, I can go to school now.
No, no, no.
Sweetheart, no.
It's : in the afternoon.
You slept all day.
School's over.
There goes my award.
EILEEN: I'm sorry.
(SIGHS)
You know what? It's okay.
At least the pressure's off.
Well, good.
I'm glad you feel that way.
Now, I made you some soup,
and Louis is going to bring it up.
Oh, that's great.
(SINGING) I've got hot soup
Delicious chicken soup
(SCREAMS)
What?
What?
First, your nose turns
green and then...
Mommy, can I have
my buttercup?
Mommy, I'm now
allergic to dairy.
Mommy, can I have
my corn niblet cake?
...you start shouting off these
stupid phrases, and you can't control it.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALARM RINGING)
(SLURPS)
(LIGHTSABERS HUMMING)
(expl*si*n)
(LOUD SNEEZE)
(SNEEZES)
(COUGHS)
(MOANS)
Oh, honey, how are you feeling?
Oh-oh, I-I...
I am perfectly miserable.
You poor thing!
Let me feel your head.
Ren, you are still burning up.
I know, I know,
but I have to get going.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You are staying
right where you are.
Mom, I have to go to school.
No, you need to rest.
Mom, I can't miss school.
I haven't missed single day.
Do you see that empty
frame over there?
Well, that is for my award
for my perfect attendance record.
If I don't go, I'm not
going to get the award
and I'm not going to
be having a picture frame
with a little gold thing
on the side...
Ren, Ren, honey, you're babbling.
Okay, you're sick.
You are staying home
and you are staying in bed.
What am I supposed to do all day?
Well, you're going to rest
and you're going to feel better.
I have a great idea.
Why don't you watch
one of these great old musicals?
You love these.
(MUSIC PLAYS)
Aw, look.
(LOUD SNEEZING)
Don't worry, I'm on it!
(LOUD SNEEZING)
That was some sneeze, son.
Are you all right?
No, not really. I got a lot of, um...
a lot of phlegm.
You know... a lot of mucus.
So, I'm calling it, um...
uh, phlucus.
-Phlucus, huh?
-It's bad.
-Wow. Sorry to hear that.
-Yeah.
Dang it, I didn't really want to miss
Coach Tugnut's obstacle course test.
It was really important to me.
It's something I could excel...
(LOUD SNEEZE)
Sorry, Dad.
Sorry about that. Sorry.
There you go.
So, uh, am I burning up or what?
I don't know.
I'm just resting my hand
while I look for something.
-Here, let me tuck you in.
-You know what? I'm tucked in fine, Dad.
I'm tucked in fine.
Aha!
-No.
-Give me that!
-No.
-Give me that! Come on!
(THROUGH LOUDSPEAKER):
You're faking it!
Now get dressed for school.
Move! Move!
Hurry up! Come on!
Not that belt!
All right, let's go!
See you later, Dad.
-Okay, son.
-Yeah.
I'm ridin' the range in
I'm sittin' on my best pal
Named Curly
I sing to my horse
There something
Wrong with that...
(SNEEZES, COUGHS)
I've got to get that award.
(MUSIC ENDS)
Ren, you're late.
(COUGHS)
I know. I'm sorry, sir.
I felt a little sick this morning
but I think I'm okay now.
Well, grab yourself a tardy slip
and take a seat.
-I gotta do the morning announcements.
-Thank you.
(MUSIC STARTS)
(SINGING) Lawrence Junior High
Won't you lend me an ear?
I hope this PA system
Is loud and clear
Now, listen up, people
I got something to say
These are the morning announcements
For today
Be sure to check the lost and found
Between classes
There's a comb in there
And a pair
Of really thick glasses
Looks like somebody, hmm
Lost their pants
There's a full salami sandwich
And some complementary ants
Oh!
I hope you seventh graders
Got a lot of rest
Because today's
Your physical endurance test
Tugnut's wearing a crazy grin
Sixth period in the gym
-Let the pain begin
-Let the pain begin
That's all for this morning
Oh, did I mention
There's only one name
On the list for detention?
He's never been accused
Of overachieving
He's that goofy little troublemaker
Louis Stevens
-Who?
-Louis Stevens
-Oh!
-Now I'm leaving
Out
Well, Ren, what do you think?
That was interesting.
WEXLER: Well, thank you.
(LOUIS LAUGHING)
Oh, sorry, Ren.
So, Mom and Dad made you
come to school, too, huh?
(COUGHS) No. I begged them to let me go,
and I still had to sneak out.
Oh, really? I like that, Ren.
Twitty, take a note.
Every time I'm dealing with my parents,
do everything backwards.
It's called reverse psychology, actually.
It's very effective.
I don't want to psych anybody out.
I really like school.
I like school, too. Except for
the classrooms, teachers and tests.
Like Coach Tugnut's
physical endurance exam?
Yeah, exactly. Like that.
I'll never take that test.
How are you gonna get out of it?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, well, right now I'm not
at liberty to say.
What does that mean?
Uh, that just means
he hasn't figured it out yet.
Louis, you better think fast
'cause the test is sixth period.
Oh, Connie, please, don't worry about it,
okay? I always find a way.
-(COUGHS)
-(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)
LOUIS: (SINGING)
I'm not strong
I'm not fast
When it comes to endurance
I just can't last
So I'll get out of gym
Like I have in the past
Like the time you wore
The huge full-body cast
I always find a way
-He always finds a way
-He always finds a way
No one can produce
An excellent excuse like you
What can I say?
He always finds a way
-A pathetic wheeze
-(WHEEZES)
-A powerful sneeze
-(SNEEZES)
The time you filled your ears up
With cottage cheese
And said it was because
Of my sweat allergies
That one got me
Out of gym with ease
I always find a way
-He always finds a way
-He always finds a way
He can easily create
Ways to abbreviate
-His gym period stay
-His gym period stay
-I always find a way
-He always finds a way
He always finds a way
But not today
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Oh, we should...
-Yeah, probably.
-Yeah, probably.
I'm having
the weirdest day, you guys.
I can't even wait till it's over
and I'm home in bed.
Yeah, well, I'll just be happy
when our science presentations are over.
Yeah. I know you're going
to win that science medal.
I hope so.
I've been dreaming about it
since the day I was born.
Well, you'll find out sixth period.
Why? What's happening
sixth period?
That's when our presentations
are due.
You're doing yours
on the space program, right?
I am?
Ren, that assignment counts
for half our grade.
You sure it's today?
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
She's kidding.
(LAUGHING) That's good.
(LAUGHING)
Hey, guys.
Ren, I think you should know
my science presentation
is so awesome.
Whoo! I can start polishing
that science medal now.
I doubt it, Larry.
Ren's going to kick
your butt as usual.
No, guys, I'm sorry, but...
I don't know if it's the fever but
I really, really don't remember
anything about this presentation.
Yeah, right, Ren, okay.
You've been working
on this thing for months.
Well forget about it, okay?
'Cause I'm not
letting my guard down.
RUBY:
Ren, you're serious?
You haven't done any research
on the space program?
No. I have to get to the library.
(POP ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING)
What's the matter with Ren?
She's usually so responsible
Tell me, could it be possible
She's losing her touch?
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
She's usually so reliable
-But her flakiness is undeniable
-Sorry.
Oh, this is too much
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?
The space assignment's
Something that she knew about
And it really isn't like her to forget
But instead of knowing about space
She is spacing out
Ironically, Ren's now a space cadet
Everybody's asking me again and again
So I'll tell you what's the matter
What's the matter with Ren
She's cracking under pressure
'Cause when it comes to science
Larry Beale is one of those
Academic giants
Finally, I'm gonna get
My chance to shine
'Cause that science medal
Is gonna be mine
She used to keep me down
But this is now, that was then
And that's what's the matter
What's the matter
With Ren
-What's the matter with Ren?
-My book bag.
-LARRY: What?
-She used to be so dependable
-I just told you
-She doesn't seem like our friend at all
What's happened to her?
What's the matter with Ren?
-She can't take the heat
-What's the matter with me?
-LARRY: She's smelling defeat
-What's the matter with me?
My victory will be sweet
What's the matter with me?
What's the matter with Ren?
(SIGHS)
Okay, find info
on the space program.
Find excuses
on how to get out of gym.
Come on, come on,
I don't have all day.
Come on, come on,
you adorable computer, please.
Work your magic.
There we go.
-(COMPUTER BEEPING)
-Did it. Did it.
-(BEEPS)
-I did that twice.
-(BEEPS)
-"Man first landed on the moon in ."
Okay, I already knew that.
What else you got?
COMPUTER:
Good-bye.
No! No, no, no, no,
not good-bye.
Don't say good-bye.
Please don't say good-bye to me.
Oh come on, I wouldn't even do that.
That's physically impossible.
-(YELLS)
-(YELLS)
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
-STUDENTS: (SINGING) Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period is drawing near
To ruin my junior high career
That test run by Tugnut
It's gonna kick my butt
Oh, how you fill my heart with dread
Sixth period
STUDENTS: Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
-I'll tell my college plans farewell
-Gee, we remember when
-When I hear that sixth-period bell
-We could rely on Ren
-I think I ate bad shrimp
-Stevens, don't be a wimp
Try and be a man instead
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
-Ren's presentation time has come
-Oh, I can't wait to see
-Oh, no, I'm gonna look so dumb
-What Ren's prepared for me
We hope we leave the gym
With all of our limbs
And of course
With all our heads
Steve, Ren's not in her bed
-We better find her
-Yeah, let's hustle
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, I think I pulled a muscle
(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES)
-Wow, these halls get so crowded
-ALL: Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Sixth period
Boys, it's been pointed out
that my little obstacle course here
is dangerous,
cruel and sadistic.
Also, that I personally...
am dangerous, cruel and sadistic.
So, I have decided...
to cancel sixth period.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Just kidding.
I'm also funny.
I should add that.
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
-Uh, Coach. Coach.
-What?
Um, I don't think Louis is gonna be able
to run the course today.
I'm afraid he's
suffering from green nose.
Green nose?
Yeah, the dreaded
green nose disease.
You know, first your nose
turns green and then...
Mommy, can I have
my buttercup?
You start shouting off these
stupid phrases, and you can't control it.
Well, that looks pretty bad.
-Yeah.
-I'd better twist it off.
No! you shouldn't do that, sir!
Because, uh, because, uh... it's...
it's, uh...
Whoa, look at that!
It's only paint.
Some of the guys probably did it
'cause I'm so popular in school, you know.
All right, enough nonsense.
Let's start the test.
Okay, boys, all you
need to do to pass gym
is complete the tire run...
...jump a little rope,
jog on the treadmill
and climb this rope.
That's it?
That doesn't seem bad.
That's nothing.
Oh, and, uh...
survive seconds
in the Cage of Doom.
(LAUGHS)
-(SOBS)
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
Welcome, lads
Now I must enforce
Your participation
In the obstacle course
Designed by me
With no remorse
I'm the master of the gym
-(TWITTY GROANING)
-Master, I'm the master
-(GROANING)
-I'm the master of the gym
Faster
For the master's
-Patience has run thin
-Whoa!
This is a test
That you won't forget
You'll be soaking wet
With sweat
Hurry up or you will regret
Ending up like him
-(SCREAMING)
-Master, I'm the master
I'm the master of the gym
Move faster for the master
Or your future will be grim
How much more of this
are we gonna take?
I mean, there's of us
and one of him.
(SINGING)
You have lost your authority
This here is a mutiny
From now on
It is plain to see
We're the masters of the gym
Masters
We're the masters
-(SCREAMING)
-We're the masters of the gym
-(WHIMPERING)
-Move faster for the masters
Or your future's looking grim
Masters
-We're the masters
-(TREADMILL BEEPING)
-Now we're getting back at him
-(YELPING)
Masters
We're the masters
-(SOBBING) No!
-We're the masters of the gym
Stevens! Oh!
(LIQUIDS BUBBLING)
As you will see, by rearranging
a few of these measly molecules
I can actually turn this
revolting slab of liver
into...
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(LAUGHS)
...into a delicious
slab of chocolate.
One for you.
Mmm... delicious!
-Yummy! Well done, Larry.
-I know.
You know, there's only one
thing standing between you
and this beautiful,
shiny science medal,
and that's Ren,
who's been longing for this
ever since she was about...
hmm, born.
Ren, you're up.
Good luck.
I'm toast.
Come on, you can't
let Larry Beale b*at you.
-Guys, I have nothing.
-You're smart. Make something up.
All I know about the space program
is that the guy went to the moon in .
Good enough.
-Go!
-Go!
Go.
(CHUCKLES)
(GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)
Well...
(SINGING)
We went to the moon in
Um...
Not , but a year later
We went to the moon in
That's when the astronauts
First walked inside a crater
-We went to the moon in
-(ALL VOCALIZING)
Not , but a year sooner
We went to the moon in
That's when they made a landing
That was lunar
STUDENTS:
We didn't go up to the sun or stars
We didn't go to Mercury or Mars
But we went to the moon
In
Not , but the year after
And once they got there
The astronauts felt fine
They smiled at each other
And there was laughter
We went to the moon in
Not , a year before
Uh-huh
The rocket that flew
Had a really neat design
When it took off,
The engines made a roar
(ROCKET ROARS)
We went to the moon in
The trip wasn't all that easy
And when we got there,
We were surprised to find
That it was solid
And it wasn't cheesy
ALL:
We went up to the M-double-O-N
We went up to the moon
Sing it again
We went to the moon in
Not , but a year sooner
We went to the moon in
That's when they made a landing
That... was...
Lunar
(MUSIC ENDS)
Ren, that was brilliant, inspiring,
and quite a toe-tapper.
Thank you, Ms. Lovelson.
No, wait a minute.
Okay, she didn't say anything except...
(SINGING) "We went to the moon."
I know, Larry. That's why Ren
is receiving a failing grade.
I'm failing?
I got an F?
(LAUGHS)
Well, what do you know, Ren?
(MUSIC RESUMES)
Ren got an F
That's got to be a first
I can't believe that
She messed up so badly
Ren got an F
This is my lucky day
I'm sorry that it
Had to end so sadly
ALL: Ren got an F
-Ren got an F
-Ha, ha!
Ren got an F
-Ren got an F
-Stop singing!
Stop singing!
No, just stop singing.
Stop singing.
Stop singing!
(SNEEZES)
(SNIFFLES)
Hey, Ren.
Feeling better?
Yeah, much.
Yeah, Ren, sorry you won't be getting
that attendance award.
As a matter of fact, we all
wanted to tell you how we feel.
-(MUSIC RESUMES)
-(SINGING) There'll be no award
You missed a day of school
You never should have gotten influenza
It's just an award
It doesn't mean a thing
I think that we should sing
Another stanza
It's just an award
It's just an award
It's just an award
-It's just an award
-(SCREAMS)
EILEEN: Ren, Ren!
Ren, honey, honey.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm really awake, right?
Of course you are.
You just had a bad dream.
Hey, you know what?
Your fever's broken.
I do feel better.
Hey, I can go to school now.
No, no, no.
Sweetheart, no.
It's : in the afternoon.
You slept all day.
School's over.
There goes my award.
EILEEN: I'm sorry.
(SIGHS)
You know what? It's okay.
At least the pressure's off.
Well, good.
I'm glad you feel that way.
Now, I made you some soup,
and Louis is going to bring it up.
Oh, that's great.
(SINGING) I've got hot soup
Delicious chicken soup
(SCREAMS)
What?
What?
First, your nose turns
green and then...
Mommy, can I have
my buttercup?
Mommy, I'm now
allergic to dairy.
Mommy, can I have
my corn niblet cake?
...you start shouting off these
stupid phrases, and you can't control it.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)