03x02 - Where in the World Is Pookie Stevens?

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

(SLURPING)

(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)

(expl*si*n)

(DRUMMING)

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, b*at it, kid,
this is my fantasy.

I love you.

Dad, I got to talk to you
about my drum set.

You don't have a drum set.

Exactly. But I've figured out
a way to solve this problem.

And that would be?

I'm going to let you
buy them for me.

Louis, let me
show you something.

Remember these skis?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember them.
I wasn't much of a snow person.

Or this scooter?

Or this suit of armor?

And this churro machine?

Right. Huh.

I'm picking up
what you're putting down.

So, you're saying...

a drum set would be a wonderful addition
to my family of things.

No drums, Louis.

There's too much of your junk
down here already.

What?

Steve, not all of this
junk belongs to Louis.

What are you
talking about?

Well, don't you remember when
you joined that Gizmo-Of-The-Month Club?

Yeah.

Here is your electric
back scratcher

your shrink-wrapper

and, of course, we can't forget
your atomic fat-buster.

Oh, yes, right next
to your inflatable foot spa

and your solar hairdryer.

Well, at least I don't have
a Dalmatian collection.

Hey!

Those spots are adorable.

LOUIS:
Guys, guys, guys, stop.

Now, we've all made mistakes
and I'm not pointing any fingers.

But the question is

how do we turn all these
mistakes in here... all this...

into cold, hard cash?

Now, folks, I'm thinking
about a yard sale.

-That's not a bad idea, Louis.
-LOUIS: No.

All right, I'll make you a deal.
You're in charge.

You do the advertising,
the organizing, everything.

Then if you make enough money,
you can buy your drum set.

-Deal.
-Deal.

How much... do you think
we could get for this hat?

Why am I so nervous?

Maybe it's because you have a study date
with Scott Brooks in ten minutes.

No, it's not a date.
I don't even know if he likes me.

Anyway, what's the deal with him
and Sandy Smithers?

That's why I'm here,
to get the dirt.

But first, let's make
this room boy friendly.

We'll start with the lighting.

Lighting?

(LAUGHS)

Cool.

A little fragrance.

-(SNEEZES)
-(COUGHS)

Less is more, Ruby.

-What else can we do?
-Guys love snacks.

Snacks? I don't
have any snacks.

Relax.

Oh... you!
You are good.

Hey, there, Ren!
Hey, it's yard sale time!

-So, grab your box. Come downstairs.
-No. You know that I can't help you today.

Oh, right, right, you got that
big date with Scott Brooks.

It's not a date.

We're studying for a test.

Yeah, whatever. Contributions?

No, I put my box
downstairs already.

All right, then.

So annoying.

(SIGHS)
Ren, what about Mr. Pookie?

What about
Mr. Pookie?

Definitely not boy friendly.

Oh... Come on. I have nothing
to be ashamed of.

(CHILDISH VOICE)
Do I, Mr. Pookie? No, I don't.

Okay. You're going to have
to lay low for a while.

His little chair.

Bye.

(SIGHS)

DONNIE:
Vroom, vroom! Whoosh!

(DONNIE LAUGHS)

DONNIE:
Vroom! Vroom! Whoosh!

Donnie, what are you doing?

I used to love playing with
these things when I was a kid.

Look, this one...
it's got a horn.

(HONKING)

Hey, why don't you take those

down to the yard sale,
where they belong?

Look, don't be so uptight, Ren,
just because you have a date.

It is not a date!

October is not a date!

What are you thinking?!
Hey, Scott. Come on in.

-Hey.
-(REN CHUCKLES)

Cool room.

-Thanks.
-Thanks.

Go.

Cookie?

Whoa, don't mind me,
laundry patrol.

You must be Ren's
study date, huh?

Uh, Dad, uh, laundry...
it's in the closet.

Right. Pretend
I'm not here.

See you later.

Hmm. Bye.

(SCREAMS)

Nice, Donnie!
Nice, dude!

Turning your cherished memories
into cold, hard cash. I like that.

Yep, I'm going to clean up.

(SNIFFING)

-Who wouldn't want these babies, huh?
-I would.

I was wearing them when
I scored the winning touchdown

against Lodi
at the State Finals.

It was third and long.

I took the snap and...

Lou?

Lou?

It was a good game.

There you go.

Ooh.

Ren is selling Mr. Pookie?

Yeah, it was in her box, right?

Guess everybody's getting
into the spirit.

-Okay.
-Out with the old, in with the new.

Just put them down.
Just put them down.

Forget about them.

Hey, look, you guys both use
blue-ink pens instead of black.

Sometimes I use black.

Me, too.

Wow, you guys sure do
have a lot in common.

(WHISPERING)
He is so cute.

(WHISPERING)
I know.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Ladies and gentlemen, with the
Incredible Inflatable Foot Spa

you can have an amazing
foot soak anywhere, anytime.

But I work in an office.

How could I possibly soak my
feet in a corporate environment?

I'm glad you asked me that,
little lady

because the Amazing Inflatable
Foot Spa is so compact

you can give your feet
an oasis in any places.

And it's only ten dollars?

Why, that's crazy talk!

I'll tell you what's even crazier:

Act now, and I'll throw in

this free Dalmatian oven mitt
absolutely free.

-MAN: I'll take it.
-Ah, young man, you won't be sorry.

Mrs. Dutton, listen, if you buy this vomit
and you put it out at your next book club

I guarantee big laughs.
I guarantee it.

I'm telling you, it works.
Two dollars. There you go.

All right. Have a good day.
Exit's over there.

No, you don't understand.

If I washed these tights

then it would've
lowered the value.

What?!

(WHISPERING)

So, Scott, what's the deal
with you and Sandy Smithers?

We broke up two weeks ago.

Ow!

Uh, that's got to hurt.

I guess.

Mrs. Goodman, come on, you've been holding
the leg warmers since forever.

How about this?
How about I throw in...

the Flashdance T-shirt
and matching headband? Come on!

-Okay.
-Yeah, nice!

There you go.

Thank you, Mrs. Goodman.

Have a good day.

How much for the pigeon plate?

Beans, it's a rooster!

Now b*at it, Beans.

Hey, I'm a serious customer.

I'll give you cents.

I'm not taking
less than a dollar.

Final offer: cents.

Fine!

You b*at me down, Bean.
Just take the plate.

Sucker.

Well, I got to go.

Thanks for helping me
and stuff.

Sure.

-It was Ren's pleasure.
-Bye.

(SHRIEKING)
He's so cute!

One more for the road.

(LAUGHING GIDDILY)

Oh!

Hey, dude, knee pads
from the Gilroy game

going really cheap, man.

Uh, no, thanks.

(SIGHS)

(CAR SPUTTERING)

(CAR BACKFIRES)

You guys got
any Dalmatian stuff?

Sorry, Coach,
all sold out.

Darn, I just had to have
that second stack of pancakes.

-Donnie!
-Hey, Coach Tugnut.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Aren't those the cleats
you wore against Lodi?

Yep.

I'll never forget that game.

Your baseball helmet,
your football

your novelty basketball lamp?

And all of it autographed!

This is the sale of the century!

Yeah, that's what I thought.
But no one bought anything.

Well, I'll take it all.

-All of it?
-Yeah. This stuff is priceless.

I'll give you bucks and...

cents.

Awesome!
Yeah.

Well, it's official.

He's available,
and he definitely likes you.

How can you tell?
He hardly said a word.

It's only so obvious.
He came back for an extra cookie.

And when he said, "One for the road"
he looked right at you.

Really?

I'm so happy for you.

All right. See ya.
Bye. Call ya.

(SIGHS)

Mr. Pookie?

I cannot believe
that we sold everything!

We sure did.

Louis, where
are your pants?!

I sold them for six bucks.

It was a very good day.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHANTING)
Louis! Louis! Louis! Louis!

Louis! Louis! Louis!
Louis! Louis!

REN:
Louis? Louis?

-Louis!
-Yeah?

Have you seen Mr. Pookie?

Pookie, right. Didn't you put
him in your yard sale box?

No. Why would I do that?

He's part of the family.

Right.

Humm! Honey, honey.

Yeah?

Ren, honey, do you remember
your parakeet, Fifi?

Do you remember when
she flew out that window

and we said to you,
don't worry

maybe someday
she'd fly back home?

Uh-huh.

This is nothing like that.

Mr. Pookie's been sold.

He's never coming back.

Mr. Pookie's gone?

(KNOCKING)
Come in.

Hi, honey.

Ren, I feel so terrible
about Mr. Pookie.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm realizing
it's time to move on.

Besides, stuffed animals
are sort of childish.

Oh, okay.

Guess my little girl's growing up, huh?

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello.

Ren, I've got some
not-so-good news.

Scott's back with Sandy.

Oh, this is just too perfect.

Apparently, she IM'd him,
like, a hundred times

until he agreed
to get back together.

I'm really sorry, Ren.

No. Me, too.

Grab Mr. Pookie.
You'll get through this.

-Okay. Bye.
-Okay, bye.

Mr. Pookie.

♪ I always remember ♪

♪ How you knew just what
I'm going through ♪

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ 'Cause you would always be my friend ♪

♪ All the times together ♪

♪ Some were happy
Some were kind of blue ♪

♪ Sad and blue ♪

♪ But one thing we both knew ♪

♪ Forever you would always be my friend ♪

♪ I don't know just what
The world would mean... ♪

(RECORD SCRATCHES)

(SNORING)

How could you sell Mr. Pookie?

Ren, I'm a growing boy.
I need my sleep.

You're going to grow a lump on your head

if you don't tell me what happened
to my Pookie.

Ren, relax, Mommy and Daddy
will buy a new one tomorrow.

They don't make Mr. Pookies anymore.
This is your fault.

If you weren't so obsessed
with your stupid drum set!

Wait a second. My fault?

I didn't put the stinky
sock monkey in the box

in the first place, Ren!

Now, leave me alone so I can sleep!

You sold him. Who'd you sell him, too?

I had a million customers today.

I want you to think. Think!

-Hey!
-Stop it! Stop!

-Think!
-STEVE: What's going on here?

She's snapping at me, Dad!

What?!

Mom, Dad, I know I said
that I was grown-up but...

I'm not and I... (CRYING)
miss Mr. Pookie and I want him back.

EILEEN:
Oh, sweetheart, come here.

We all miss Mr. Pookie.

Yeah.

-(SOBBING)
-Ren, I promise

this family will do whatever
it takes to get Mr. Pookie back.

Isn't that right, Louis?

(SNORING)

Louis?

(AIRPLANE DRONING)

(SIGHS)

Okay...

-(PHONE RINGS)
-EILEEN: Hello?

Pookie...

Oh, sorry.

Really, really sorry.

Hey, you know what,
take care of that animal.

Make sure he's never
out of your sight, ever.

You okay, son?

You know, this whole Pookie thing

just makes me realize how
much I miss my sports stuff.

-Hmm.
-Any luck?

Sorry, Ren.

Ren, check this out.
Come here. Come here.

Look.

Four. Here we go.
Look.

ANNOUNCER: He's hip, he's cool,
he's the baddest dude in town.

He's the new
"Hip-Hop" Mr. Pookie.

And now he talks.

MR. POOKIE:
One time for your mind!

Keeping it real.

Hip-hop you don't stop.

Look. See?

He's street, yet cuddly, Ren.
All your problems are solved.

Louis...

you just don't get it.

I don't get what?

-Hey, Coach.
-Hello, Donnie.

-(CAR SPUTTERING)
-(BACKFIRES)

Hey, that's my stuff!

Yes, Donnie.

I'm bringing back
your beautiful sports treasures.

I can't keep them.
It wouldn't be right.

These are your memories.

-Someday when you're old...
-Like you?

-Uh, yeah, like... like me.
-Oh.

Well, you're going
to want to look back

on your triumphant career
and wallow in nostalgia.

You hold onto your
mementos, son.

Soon, they'll be all you have left.

Wow, Coach, you really are
a sentimental kind of guy.

Yeah, I wanted to set up a little shrine
to your accomplishments

but the missus said there's no room
for any more junk in the trailer, so...

Thanks.
This means a lot to me.

Oh... well.

Hey, listen, uh, I'm going to need
my money back.

I, uh, can't come
home without it.

Uh, what about my cents?

$ , hundred, bucks.

Hey, Smitty, after you finish
unloading that stuff

pack up the skins.
I think I found 'em a nice home.

LOUIS:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Is that a... is that
a Mr. Pookie doll up there?

Yep. Just came in yesterday.

Yeah, let me see that.

It's missing an eye.

That's Ren's stupid
old sock puppet.

Listen, I'll tell you what.

Um, I got two bucks left.

-How about you throw it in with the drums?
-(LAUGHING) Two bucks?

Kid, this is
an original Mr. Pookie.

They don't make
these anymore.

Do you know how much
this baby is worth, huh?

(SQUEALING)

Ren, are you okay?

It's Mr. Pookie,
he's back.

Oh, ho! I can't believe
he found his way home.

Honey,
where did you find him?

He was in my bed.

Well, there must be
some explanation.

Off to do another good deed, are we?

What are you talking about?

I saw the tag from Gus's pawnshop.

I know you found Mr. Pookie.

Yeah, well, he was looking
a little homesick, all right?

Why didn't you tell me you bought him?

'Cause you know how you get.
You get all...

you get all mushy
and jumpy and huggy

and screaming and kissing.
Just horrible.

Zip it. Point taken.

Ren, what am I supposed
to do with the drumsticks?

Ren?

Ren? Ren?

ALL:
Surprise!

No way.
No way...

-Yeah!
-Woo!

(SQUEALING)

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much!

Thanks for not
getting mushy.

Oh...

Oh!

(LOUD, UNRHYTHMIC DRUMMING)

Upstairs!

(TV PLAYING, CHANNELS CHANGING

Young man, this is an amazing piece.

Can you tell us where you got it?

I got it at a yard sale
for cents.

Did you know this plate
dates to the th century?

I just like bird plates.

Well, this is a rare
and beautiful piece.

What do you think it's worth?

cents?

How about $ , ?

Who's the sucker now, Louis?

(YELLING)