08x10 - Larry vs. Michael J. Fox

[bunniefuu]

( Theme music playing )

( Knocking at door )

- Hi.
- Good evening.

( Laughs )

- I'm running a little late.
- Okay.

I need five minutes.

Man on tv:
Welcome, designers!

You've heard the expression "she'd
even look great in a potato sack"?

Well, you're going to prove that
point with this challenge.

You will be creating a party-worthy
look out of burlap...

- Oh.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- My name is Greg.

- Is it?
- Yes.

- My name is Larry.
- Hi.

A great pleasure to meet you.

- Oh, thank you.
- You're very welcome.

- So what are you drawing?
- Oh, I'm just doodling.

That's a h*tler mustache.
That's h*tler hair.

- What's a h*tler?
- h*tler was a bad man.

- A bad man?
- A very bad man.

- Oh my God.
- Yes, he started a w*r.

He didn't-- He didn't
really care for Jews.

He thought they were
a bit much.

( Scoffs )
I would kick his butt.

- Would you?
- Yes.

Good for you.
What-- What are you watching in there?

"Project Runway."

- Good show.
- And what do you like about it?

The fashion!

It's like the best show ever.

- You like fashion?
- Yes, I do.

Hmm.

Ooh, what's that right there?

Oh, that's called a swastika.

I like how the lines
just go straight

and then up and then down

and then straight and
then up and then down.

It's beautiful.

My birthday's coming up in a
week, so can you get me one?

- A swastika?
- Yeah.

Uh, I-- I don't know, Greg.
I'll have to think about that.

They should start selling them

in every gift shop
in New York City.

I don't think
Jews would like that.

Get a life, Jews!

Hmm. Yeah.

Okay.

Uh, is your mom ready?

Okay, sweetie,
Nana's waiting for you.

- She's gonna give you a bath, okay?
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Take good care of her. Bye.

( Laughs ) Thanks.

He's something else, isn't he?

- That's an understatement.
- Aw.

- So, are you ready?
- Ready.

So Susie tells me
you're quite a piano player.

Oh.
Eh, I don't know.

It's background, so don't
get your hopes up too high.

- What do you mean it's just in the background?
- No, you'll see.

( Piano music playing )

( Loud chatter )

Hey. Shh!
Come on.

A pianist is playing up there.

She's playing.

- ( Chatter continues )
- Larry: Hey, shh! Quiet.

So rude.
Unbelievable.

How are you doing? My assistant called.
Table for three.

- Hey, it's Larry. I'm gonna go say hi.
- Man: Okay.

- What's up?
- Larry: Hey. Hey, Mike.

- I hear we're neighbors now.
- Yeah.

You live downstairs.
You got the place downstairs.

Yeah yeah, shh.
Try and keep it down. She's--

- Sorry?
- She's playing. Shh.

But she's--
It's background music.

Yeah, I know, but still,
just try and keep it down.

- Wait, you know her?
- I'm dating her.

- Oh, you're dating her?
- Yes. Shh!

It's not Carnegie Hall.
It's just a bar.

- I know, but it's rude to talk, that's all.
- Okay, all right.

- Well, see you around the building.
- I'll talk to you later.

See ya later.

What were you saying
about the frog?

There was an inflatable frog that came
out of a French restaurant in Vegas.

You're getting one of
those foofy drinks, right?

No, I'm gonna go
with straight Tequila.

Hey, Fox.
Fox! Fox!

Shh!
Come on.

- She's playing.
- Yeah.

( Piano flourish )

( Scattered applause )

Larry:
Yeah, clap.

I don't know how you do it.
I really don't.

It's atmosphere.
It's a nice setting.

- I'm really glad you're here.
- I found it really annoying.

- Hey, you got to know Greg a little bit.
- Yeah, I did.

He's quite a--
Quite a young man.

He's really like one of my favorite
people in the world, obviously.

Yeah. Well, I mean
it must be very...

You know, challenging
to have a son like that.

You know, I signed up
for single motherhood.

It's not like a big-- to me that's
part of the deal, you know.

No, but I mean,

you know, his being so...

Flamboyant.

I think the fact that he can
sort of sell a song and--

I don't know where he gets it.
There's nobody like him.

It makes him really special
and unique and different.

Okay.

His birthday's next week.

We're probably gonna
have a party.

You're welcome to come.
Probably just like a little family thing.

- No, I don't wanna go.
- Oh.

A kid's birthday party--
Nah, I'm not that guy.

I guess it'd be kind of boring.

- Hey, you know what?
- What?

I'll buy him a birthday gift.
How about that?

Larry, that would be so great.

- If it helps with the sex, of course.
- It will help with the sex.

Then I get him a present.
What's the debate?

Yeah, there's no debate
whatsoever.

Of course,
what do you--

What do you get
a kid like that?

He loves everything.
You met him.

Can't get him a baseball.

Sure you can.
Don't worry about it.

- Can't get him a football.
- Why not?

Anything-- It can be anything.
Just get him whatever.

- Did you see that?
- It was Michael J. Fox.

Yes. See that kind of
head shake he just gave me?

He's upset because
I shushed him earlier.

You know he has a condition.

- He shakes.
- Yeah, you're right.

Maybe it was
a Parkinson's shake.

It could have been
a Parkinson's shake.

So...

Was it pissed or Parkinson's?
I don't know.

I don't think that it's the kind
of question that you can ask him.

No. He lives right
upstairs from me.

- This could get awkward. - Oh.

Maybe just say
"I'm sorry I shushed you."

Yeah, okay.
Good idea.

( Elevator dings )

( Scoffs )

- I'm sorry?
- No no.

It's just, you know,
you hit two floors

and I'm in a little bit
of a rush, that's all.

What a terrible inconvenience.
My God, I'm so sorry.

Well, as a matter of fact it is a
little bit of an inconvenience, yes.

You don't know where I'm going.
I'm in a little bit of a rush.

I didn't mean to waste 12
seconds of your precious time.

- It's not really about the 12 seconds, is it?
- What is it?

It's about the fact that
you hit two buttons.

Who doesn't know what floor
they're getting off on?

I decided to go someplace else.

I realize that that's illegal
in your little world, isn't it?

When you realized
you'd hit the wrong floor,

- you just get off on 31, go up to 32.
- Oh really?

- Take the stairs.
- Suppose I wanted to go to 40.

You mean because
it's one flight now--

- You wanna go to 40 as well?
- No, I'm saying what if I did wanna go to 40?

Why don't you go to 40?
There you go.

Now you're going to 40 as well.
You wanna go to 33, 34?

- How about that, huh?
- I think I wanna go to 36 too.

All right.
I changed my mind.

- I think I'm gonna go to 36 and 37.
- Good good.

- You know what? I changed my mind again.
- I think I'll go to 39.

- Why don't I go to 43?
- I'll go to 40. I'll go to 42.

- Oh my goodness, look.
- There you go.

Terrific!
Now we're going to every floor.

Yeah, enjoy that ride up to 44.

31-- I think I'll get out
here and take the stairs.

- Yeah.
- Enjoy your ride.

Enjoy the walk!

Larry: Anyway, I just
wanted to tell you

that I hope you weren't
upset about the shushing,

because a lot
of people think--

I'm not gonna lie to you--
Nobody likes to be shushed.

Yeah, nobody likes
to be shushed.

- My kids-- I don't shush my kids.
- Exactly, exactly, yeah.

Because I did notice
before you left

you were looking at me
and you kind of,

you know, shook your head.

Uh, yeah,
my head shakes, Larry.

I have Parkinson's.
I-- I'm a head-shaking fool.

- I always shake.
- So you're saying it was a Parkinson's shake.

Yeah, it wasn't
a Larry's shake.

Got it. Okay.

But she was playing
background music.

It was not a performance.
I mean, per se.

To me it's a little rude.

If I went to see
one of your movies

and I was talking, you
probably wouldn't like it.

I'd be surprised.
Where are you gonna see one of my movies?

It was like 1985
last time I was in a movie.

Okay, if I saw one
of your movies in 1985,

you wouldn't like it
if I was talking.

This is getting into time travel.
This is getting weird.

So just to be clear,
you're not upset?

- ( Phone rings )
- Let me get that.

I'll be back in two shakes.

( Sighs )

What the f*ck?
Lar, what are you doing?

Oh, I was just drawing
a h*tler mustache.

- On my father-in-law. That's my father-in-law.
- That's your father-in-law?

Yeah, he's a businessman.
He's on "businessweek" magazine.

You're kidding! What the hell is he
doing on the cover of a magazine?

- Well, he's the fuehrer now.
- Oh my God, I'm sorry.

I just like to see what people
look like with h*tler mustaches.

He looks like h*tler.
The mystery is solved.

My father-in-law
looks like h*tler.

I've gotta get rid of this
because he's coming over here.

- And if he sees this...
- I'm sorry again.

That's all right.

Can I get you a soda
or something, Larry?

Oh sure.
That'd be great.

You know, I mean, the thing is

h*tler really ruined
that mustache for everybody.

Because it's really--
It's an interesting mustache,

and now nobody could
wear it, you know.

Oh, thanks.

Oh Jesus Christ!

- What the hell?
- You want--

Did you shake that up
on purpose?

Parkinson's.

I think the shirt's ruined.

I'm not really surprised, man.
He has Parkinson's.

So he's got Parkinson's.
Of course it's Parkinson's.

- Yeah.
- He was shaking.

He would never do anything
like that on purpose.

Michael J. Fox?
Never in a million years.

But he shakes, right?
He hands you a soda that's shaken.

He can't stop f*ckin' shaking.

- So you don't believe me.
- I'm just not buying it.

See that f*ckin' milk you
got in your hand right now?

You hand that man a carton of
f*ckin' milk-- Guess what.

- It's gonna be a f*ckin' milkshake.
- That was not Parkinson's.

Thank God he didn't
hand you his d*ck.

He could've been shaking
and shook that d*ck up,

handed you the d*ck, and the
d*ck sh*t sperm in your face.

Yeah, but why would
he hand me a d*ck?

- I mean as an example.
- What kind of example is that?

I'm just comparing it to other
things you can shake up, right?

- With Parkinson's, right?
- You just live in a total d*ck world, don't you?

- It's a good example.
- Right?

( Loud thumping )

What's that?

Is that Parkinson's, hmm?

- You think that's Parkinson's?
- sh*t. Wow.

( Thumping continues )

- He's pissed.
- He's pissed.

( Knocking )

Hi. Oh, look at--
Hey, Greg!

Larry brought you something
for your birthday.

- Greg!
- He's gonna be so excited.

Happy Birthday!

Hmm.

Oh my God. Let me check.
What is it?

- What is it?
- What is it?

It's a sewing machine.
It's a sewing machine.

( Screaming )

It's a sewing machine!

Oh my God, I'm gonna make the
"gone with the wind" costume.

"Meet me in St. Louis,"
"the wizard of oz."

- You're gonna make "the wizard of oz" costume?
- Yes!

- Which one?
- Dorothy.

I love it, I love it,
I love it!

( Kisses ) Thank you, lord.

"Thank you, lord"?
Thank you, Larry.

- Thank you, Larry.
- You're welcome, Greg.

( Screams ) Nana, Nana!

- A sewing machine?
- Yeah. He loved it.

What, are you trying
to turn him gay?

He is a happy, healthy,
normal seven-year-old boy.

What is the matter with you?

I think he might be gay.

( Loud thumping )

( Sighs )

Leon! You up?

Yeah, I'm up.

This dude is out of f*cking
control right now.

What is going on with him?

All this f*ckin' clomping
around all f*ckin' night?

- I can't f*ckin' sleep like this, man.
- I know. God!

You'd better hound
this dude, man.

You'd better go up there
and handle this f*ckin' guy.

This sh*t don't go down in a black neighborhood.
You know what I mean?

All right, I'm gonna
go up there.

Unless you want to.

If I go up there, I will
k*ll this m*therf*cker.

Michael J. Fox about to be Michael J.
f*cked-up in a minute.

But if you go up there,
you and him--

That's a fair fight and sh*t.

- You know what I'm saying?
- How is that a fair fight?

Shaking m*therf*ckers
like that, you know,

little kids and sh*t,
old people,

m*therf*ckers who can't
defend themselves, and you--

That's perfect.

You two face off--
That's just even Steven.

- That's not even Steven.
- That's even f*ckin' Steven, Larry.

You don't think I can get
the better of him in a fight?

That shaking sh*t might come in handy.
I don't f*ckin' know.

Right? You don't know
this m*therf*cker's skills.

- All right.
- Right?

All right, you watch me, okay?

- I wanna see this sh*t.
- You watch me.

This sh*t don't happen in a black neighborhood.
I'm telling you.

( Knocking )

- Hey, Larry.
- Hey.

Um...

What's going on up here?

Why? What do you mean
"what's going on"?

There's a lot of clomping
on the floor.

- It's keeping me up.
- Oh oh, it's the boots, the boots.

Yeah yeah.
My feet cramp.

It's called dystonia and I
have to wear stiff shoes

to keep them from cramping.

It's in my book. It's chapter one.
You should read it.

At the very least it'll
help you get to sleep.

Your feet are cramping?
Is this a new thing?

No. This has been going on
for about 20 years now, Lar.

Oh really? How come I haven't
heard the clomping before?

You haven't lived here.
You've lived in California.

I've been living here for over a month.
I haven't heard any clomping.

- What am I, bullshitting you?
- I don't know.

I'll tell you what I think.
You wanna know what I think, Fox?

- I'm hanging on it.
- Are you?

I think you're upset
about the shushing.

I think you were pissed off about the
h*tler mustache on your father-in-law.

I think you shook up
that can of soda on purpose.

And I think you're clomping now

and you've made up some bullshit
excuse about your feet,

and it's all under
the guise of Parkinson's.

That's what I think.
Huh?

I thought I was the sickest guy on
this block, but you're the new champ.

I have a sickness in my brain.

You have a sickness
in your mind.

- Your mind, it's gone over.
- Oh, has it?

It's fascinating if it wasn't
so f*cking tragic.

Huh. So you deny
the whole thing?

It's all Parkinson's, Larry.
It's all Parkinson's.

- The head shake at the bar?
- Parkinson's.

- The soda?
- Parkinson's.

- The clomping?
- Parkinson's.

Are you sure?

Yeah, Larry, I'm dead certain.

Okay.

- All right, there you go.
- Susie: Hello?

- Hey.
- Hey, Lar,

- what the hell were you thinking?
- What?

You give
a seven-year-old kid--

A boy-- a Sewing machine
as a gift?

- Yeah. So what?
- Totally inappropriate.

No, not inappropriate.
He loved the gift.

He went in that room,
figured out in two minutes

how to work
that sewing machine.

And he was working on a
frilly thing immediately.

I don't like the
implication, all right?

- It's not an implication.
- He's seven.

Being gay means that you're attracted
to the person of the same sex.

He's too young to be
attracted to anybody.

He will be gay.
He's just-- He's pre-gay.

I don't know that you can
make that assumption.

I think it was an insult

and I think you'd better get
another f*cking gift, okay?

Why does she stick her nose
into everything?

What, I gotta get the kid
another gift now?

- You got to get him another gift.
- What am I gonna get him?

- I have nothing to get him.
- What about a slinky?

- A slinky's always--
- A slinky?

- Eh, that's pretty gay.
- Well, you're handling a ball.

- Both: You're handling balls.
- Yeah.

- So this is the way--
- That's what a slinky is, really.

- Both: It's handling balls.
- Yes, that's what-- My point exactly.

- So it's gay.
- I mean, maybe roller skates?

Nah, that's got
the ice skating thing.

You don't wanna
even touch that.

- A musical instrument.
- Oh, that's not bad.

No sexuality involved
unless you get him a harp.

You wanna keep away
from the flute, I think.

- No flute, no harp.
- Okay.

- It's your turn.
- Okay. There you go.

You realize that might've been the dumbest
move you could have possibly done?

Seriously, I'm not
thinking straight.

I'm so-- He's keeping me up--
Michael J. Fox-- Every night,

clomping around upstairs.

- Still clomping?
- Yes. I can't sleep.

- Michael?
- Yeah.

Let me tell you something.
That Tracy--

His wife Tracy Pollan--
She's a saint.

What a relationship
those two have, huh?

I know.
You're right.

- Such devotion. It's incredible.
- Larry: Yeah.

As a cynic it kind of sickens me,
but he'd take a b*llet for her.

He would take a b*llet for her.

- True love.
- Jeff: Yeah.

- How about you, Jeff?
- What?

Would you take a b*llet for me?

Of course I'd take
a b*llet for you.

What, are you kidding?
Without a doubt.

- You think he would?
- He just said he would.

Saying and doing-- Two different things.
I doubt it.

- You know what people say...
- Jeff: What?

- ...When you guys leave a room?
- What do they say?

- ( Tisks ) "Poor bastard."
- Oh jeez.

Susie: You can leave now, Larry.
Get the f*ck out!

I'm going home.

See you, folks.

- Hey, John!
- Hey, Larry.

- How are you doing, man?
- Pretty good. How's it going?

Real good. Thanks for
the Yankees tickets.

- Anytime, man.
- I really appreciate it.

- Anytime.
- See you around.

( Scoffs )

Was that, uh...
Parkinson's?

No, that wasn't Parkinson's.
That was just bad timing.

- Bad timing?
- Yeah.

Oh okay, so that one
wasn't Parkin--

By the way, still a lot
of clomping I'm hearing.

- What's going--
- You need to take it up with the board.

- I am gonna take it up with the board.
- That's great.

- Let me know how that works out for you.
- I will. I can't sleep.

Mr. Fox, is there
a problem here?

As a matter of fact,
there is a bit of a problem.

You need me to call the police?

- No, I think you can handle it.
- All right.

Eddie, get Mr.
Fox a cab, please. Thank you.

- Thank you, Eddie. Thanks, John.
- You got it, Mr. Fox.

What's the problem?

I'll tell you
what the problem is.

He bumped into me on purpose.

- Did you see that?
- I did see it.

- He has Parkinson's disease.
- I know he has Parkinson's.

He's using it to harass me, okay?
I swear to God.

He shook up soda and
spilled it all over me.

- He's clomping around--
- Here's the deal. Here's the deal.

You can bump into any tenant you
want in this building, all right?

I don't give a sh*t.

But you don't touch Mr. Fox.
Do you understand?

You touch him again,
me and you got a problem.

Oh, you don't touch
Michael J. Fox.

Oh yeah.
Let me tell you something, okay?

I'm very sympathetic
to the Parkinson's!

But just having Parkinson's
doesn't give you carte blanche

to take advantage
of the non-Parkinson's!

Larry: Honest to God
, I can't sleep.

He's banging on my ceiling
with these special shoes.

He's wearing combat boots.

And yesterday he shoved me

when I was coming
out of the elevator.

Shoved me.
Michael J. Fox

shoved me, okay?

Mr. David, are you
aware of the fact

that Michael J. Fox
has Parkinson's disease?

Of course I'm aware
of the Parkinson's.

Don't you understand
what he's doing?

Nobody understands this.

He's using the Parkinson's
to do whatever he wants.

You think Mr. Parkinson, the
first guy who had Parkinson's--

You think he would like
what he's seeing here?

Mr. Parkinson would be appalled if
he knew how Mr. Fox is behaving.

Mr. David,
I'd like to ask you

about the incident
in the elevator.

That guy told you about that?

Are you serious?
He came to the board--

( Mocking ) "I got in the
elevator with Larry David"?

Oh, come on.
Give me a break.

Mr. David, you're not allowed to play
with the buttons on the elevator.

I didn't play with the buttons.
He played with the buttons.

( Indistinct whispering )

Mr. David, I'm afraid it's
the decision of this board,

in view of the two offenses,
that you are on probation.

I think I don't have to
explain that a third offense

will mean you will be asked
to leave the building.

It's not fair.

Well, perhaps you could
make amends to Mr. Fox.

He's holding a fundraiser

tomorrow afternoon
in our courtyard

and it would be a good thing
if you showed up.

And a contribution

to the Parkinson's charity
would probably go a long way

towards resolving this.

How much are you thinking?

$10,000.

Hey, look at that.

- Oh, hey.
- Hey!

- Huh?
- Hi, Lar.

- How are you? What--
- What is it?

It's another present for Greg.

- Oh!
- Very good.

- It's beautifully wrapped.
- I heard the voice of the people and,

like any great leader,
I responded.

- What did you get?
- Very well done.

Well, that's really
none of your business.

Susie: How is it none
of my business?

I wanna know if you've
f*cked up again.

I got a good gift and I'd like to
surprise him, if you don't mind.

He could be surprised.
We don't need to be surprised, okay?

Yeah, I don't wanna
be surprised, Larry.

- It's a violin.
- Oh.

- That is great.
- You like that, huh?

He's been asking
to take lessons.

- And she's a musician.
- Yeah, so duh.

- Wow. All right.
- Yeah.

That sewing machine's gotta go.

Yeah. I'll box it up.
I'll give it back to you.

I don't want it.
What am I gonna do with it?

- You can take it back. I don't want it in the house.
- I'm not taking it back.

- It's your sewing machine. It's not mine.
- You know what?

You make such a big
megillah over everything.

I'm a megillah?
Why am I a megillah?

I have to buy two gifts now
and take one back?

- Will you give the kid the f*cking violin?
- I'll be happy to.

And be gone with you.
assh*le.

Greg!
Come here, honey.

- Hi, sweetie!
- Hey!

Look who's here.
It's Larry.

- Heya, Greg.
- Oh, I like your bag.

- You do?
- Yeah. Where is it from?

- Yeah, it's cool, isn't it-- The fringe?
- Yeah.

- Guess what.
- What?

Larry got you a present to
replace the sewing machine.

I love my sewing machine.

- Larry: What?
- I love my sewing machine.

Oh, he loves
his sewing machine.

- And I made something for you, Susie.
- You made something for me?

Oh, by the way, he likes the
sewing-- He wants to keep it.

- He made something for you.
- What is that, honey?

- I made you a pillow sham.
- A pillow sham?

A pillow sham!
He made you a pillow sham.

- Oh my God.
- You made that?

- Look at this.
- Unbelievable.

- That's really nice stitching.
- This kid--

What the--?

What? Where did you learn
about this symbol?

Larry taught me
how to make a swastika.

He wrote it
on a piece of paper.

- He was doodling, like, this evil man...
- Greg.

Who hated Jews.

- What was his name again, Larry?
- h*tler?

h*tler!
Yeah, h*tler.

- Susie: Larry taught you how to make this?
- No, I was--

- You taught him how to make a swastika?
- I did not.

- What the hell are you thinking?
- I was doodling!

- On a pillow sham?
- I was just doodling.

You think this is
an appropriate symbol

- to be petit pointing on--
- Susie, look out!

Ahh!

( Screams )

- Jeff! Jeff!
- ( Groaning )

Are you okay?
Honey, are you okay?

I took a b*llet for you.

Well, it was a bike
technically.

Michael:
Good afternoon.

I wanna welcome you all here
and thank you for your support

of the Michael J. Fox foundation
for Parkinson's research.

It's really great to see you.

And a very special thank you

and a very warm welcome
to mayor Bloomberg...

- Woman: Thank you so much.
- ...Who's with us today,

supporting us as he has
since our inception

and throughout our progress
toward a cure for Parkinson's.

- Before I go much further...
- Ah, hey.

How are you feeling?

- My side is just k*lling me.
- What a shame.

- Oh God, it's terrible.
- I think you saved her life.

- She owes me.
- Yeah.

Well, I got a doctor's
appointment this afternoon.

I'll get the whole thing
straightened out.

- So what did you end up getting Greg?
- I got him a--

- Hey! Shh! Michael: And we figure
we have to tackle road blocks

- that other funders have not addressed.
- ( Mouths words )

But--

Larry, what are you doing?

Why do you have
to come here and do that?

Give the violin sign
in front of all these people?

He made the violin sign?!

- He was making the violin sign!
- ( Crowd grumbling )

I got a kid a present.
It was a present.

The violin sign, Larry.
Come on, please.

Wait a second, Mike.
Let me handle this. I'm the mayor.

I'm not gonna stand here

and listen to anybody
denigrate Michael J. Fox.

He's a great new yorker
and a great American.

- Man: Yeah!
- I wasn't denigrating-- I didn't denigrate!

Larry, let me
tell you something.

This guy is trying to put
Parkinson's out of business

and I'm here to put you
out of this city.

- Get out of town.
- What?

- I'm a new yorker!
- Get the f*ck out of here.

- I'm-- I'm--
- Get out of here!

( Crowd shouting )

I'm a new yorker.
You can't do that to me.

I'm a new yorker!

- ( Door closes )
- Man: I got your results.

- You're gonna be just fine.
- Great.

Now listen, there is a small
amount of internal bleeding.

- What?
- It's nothing to worry about.

It's small.
We're gonna handle it.

- I wanna give you some antibiotics, okay?
- Antibiotics.

And considering
the area of the injury,

I think the best course
is to do some suppositories.

- Suppositories?
- They call them b*ll*ts.

Oh, hello.

- Larry.
- Oh, hey.

You know, I really
owe you an apology.

I wasn't mocking you
with the violin.

I bought a violin
for this little kid.

I couldn't say it out loud because
I didn't want to disturb you.

So I was telling Jeff
that I bought him a violin.

It's over. Forget about it.
It's just a clean slate.

- Let's not dwell on it.
- Really?

If there's anything
I can do for you,

you just let me know.

It's funny you should say that,
because there actually is.

Tracy and I are doing this event
for the children's hospital.

- Oh.
- And we're having this event.

If you wanted to, you could
come and spend the day with us

- at the hospital with the kids.
- Ah, with the kids.

Yeah, there'll be games
and we'll have lunch.

- And there's putt-putt golf and--
- Putt-putt with sick kids?

Putt-putt
with sick kids, yeah.

- It's gonna be great. They love that.
- This is nice.

Some of them even wear masks
so they don't get infected.

- They're infected?
- Precautions-- Make sure you don't get sick.

You don't get them sick,
they don't get you sick.

Boy.
Yes, I'd love to.

- I'd love to.
- Great, excellent.

- When is it?
- This Saturday.

- That's unbelievable.
- Can you make it?

- I have to be out of town on Saturday.
- Really?

Let me make a couple
of phone calls.

Possibly I could--
No, I can't.

- They won't let me out of that.
- Where are you going?

( Stammering )

( French music playing )

Ho!
Heh-hey.

Yeah.
Heh-hey.

So how long are we gonna
be in this town?

I told Fox two months.
What are you eating?

It's a chalupa inside a burrito

- wrapped the f*ck up.
- You know, you're in Paris.

It's got the best food in the world
and you're eating a chalupa?

If I could've put French toast

in this m*therf*cker,
I would, okay?

Look at this.

Huh?
Do you believe this?

- I gotta say something to him.
- Oh no.

( Speaking French )

( Both arguing in French )

assh*le.
assh*le.

( Arguing continues )

( Theme music playing )