03x18 - My Cousin Lexi

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

Is she here?

Is she here? I thought I heard dad's car.

I just got a text and your
cousin lexi's on the way.

Great, I just finished decorating her room.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine

what would a seven-year-old
from georgia really like?

And then I bailed and called her mom.

I'm sure she'll love her room.

I hope so.

It's gonna be lexi's for the rest of the year.

I'm finally gonna get to spend
time with my favorite cousin.

We'll be like sisters.

But cousins.

Sister-cousins.

Ooh, I love that.

From now on, I'm your sister-grandma.

(keys jangling)

that's lexi!

She's here.

The georgia peach has arrived!

Lexi, I'm so happy to see you.

Hey, girl, hey!

(giggling)

(stumbling)

whoa, you brought half the
city of savannah with you.

Other half's in the car.

Lexi, bring it in!

Has it really been a year since we last saw you?

Ugh, that was during my big hair-bow phase.

Goodness gracious, I can't believe

I ever thought those were cute.

They were. You were the hit at

great aunt betsy's th birthday party.

(chuckles)

she couldn't remember anyone's name,

so she would call you by the name of a food.

"honeybun, be a dear and fetch

"auntie's cane before I
start hootin' and hollering.

Thanks, puddin'."

and she would always call
me strawberry shortcake!

And uncle max was string bean.

You gotta be careful what you're
eating when you say hi to her.

Lexi, you must be so proud of your parents.

Big-time doctors volunteering in south america.

I am. And don't forget
they raised an amazing kid.

Their words, not mine.

You must be hungry after your flight.

I'll go fix you something special.

Thank you, ma'am.

Lexi, I can't wait to show you your room.

And me and koko can't wait to see it.

You brought koko!

Sure did. She goes everywhere with me.

She's my best friend.

Oh hush, koko. I'm sure
they're happy to see you, too.

She's a little shy.

I don't have that problem.

Well, come on, lexi, I'll show you your room.

(stumbling)

wow, lexi, this one weighs a ton.

What do you have in here?

Oh, that's not mine. It's koko's.

♪ Do, do, do, do ♪

(theme music playing)

♪ like father, like daughter,
we don't always agree ♪

♪ but looking at you is like looking at me ♪

♪ the more things change,
the more they stay the same ♪

♪ like father, like daughter,
from different times ♪

♪ taking all the best from your decade and mine ♪

♪ the more things change ♪

♪ the more they stay the same ♪

♪ do, do, do-do, do, do ♪

♪ do, do ♪

♪ the more they stay the same ♪

♪ ♪

here's your room, lexi.

So what do you think?

I love it!

Wow!

(gasps) wow!

You did all this for me?

I wanted to make you feel at home.

I hope it's not too much peach.

Syd, I'm from georgia,

you can never have too much peach.

Lexi, if there's anything you ever want or need,

you just come to me.

'ppreciate it, cuz.

Guess I better unpack the
most important thing first.

Aw, your miniature horse, winston.

Yeah, I couldn't fit him in my suitcase,

so I brought his blanket instead.

He must really be important to you.

Sure is. Winston's like a brother to me.

Well,

I'd like you to think of me

as a sister.

Really?

I always wanted a big sister.

And I've always wanted a little one.

Well, doesn't that work out.

I hope we get to be as close as our moms were.

Yeah, my mom told me

she and auntie alisha even shared a room.

They used to lie in bed and share secrets.

Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you and koko stay in my room tonight?

Really?

We can share secrets like our mommas.

I might be seven, but I got a few.

Here you go, lexi.

So, what would you like for your

"welcome to portland" dinner?

Ooooh... How about smothered
chicken with homemade gravy,

mac and cheese, and sweet water cornbread?!

How 'bout pizza?

As long as it's pepperoni.

Are you kidding? Without pepperoni, a pizza is

pepper-lonely.

(both laugh)

don't encourage him, lexi.

But it's the yeast I can do.

(both laugh)

"yeast I can do." genius.

♪ ♪

(knocking on door)

hey, leo.

Hey, buddy.

What's going on? Ooh, oozles, my favorite.

Nuh-uh uh.

These are for alisha.

Since she's been gone for two weeks,

I made her extra special
snacks to welcome her home.

They're just sour oozles.

Yeah, but they usually come in a bag.

These...

Are in a bowl.

Dang, this is gettin' serious.

(doorbell rings)

hi, max!

-Alisha! Welcome back!
-Thanks.

Care for an oozle?

Ooh,

and in a bowl.

Hey, cuz. How's the fam back in baltimore?

Aunt edna still mad at me
about that stain on her carpet?

I can't believe she called
me out in her christmas card.

The whole trip was incredible.
I saw all my old friends.

We walked around the
harbor, ate soft shell crabs.

Well, the important thing is you're back.

Well, for now.

What does that mean?

Being back in baltimore made me

realize how much I miss my life there.

The city, my friends.

That's why I wanna move back.

What?!

All I gotta do is convince my parents.

To let you move all the way across the country?

Without them?

Have you met your parents?

You're right. I better give
them some really good reasons.

Which I have to start working on, like right now.

See you guys later.

I don't believe this.

If alisha moves back to baltimore,

I'll never see her again.

Chill, dude. You got nothing to worry about.

No way her mom will let her go.

But she sounded so sure.

And you know how convincing she is.

Don't worry about it, man.

I can help you with this.

You're gonna make her stay?!

No, I meant the oozles.

♪ ♪

lexi?

Lexi?

Lexi?

Lexi?!

Noodle, what's wrong?

What's going on?

(sighs) I can't find lexi.

I woke up and she was gone.

First night here and I've already lost her.

Come on, syd, she's gotta
be in the house somewhere.

(sniffs)

wait a minute. Do you smell something

absolutely delicious?

Smells like heaven.

And it's coming from downstairs.

Then what am I doing wasting
my time talking to you people?

Lexi?

Mornin', y'all!

What are you doin' up so early?

Back home, I'm used to getting up early

to take care of winston,

so I made breakfast.

Now get it while it's hot.

Are those pecan waffles?

And buttermilk biscuits, scrambled eggs, bacon,

and sausage gravy.

You know, just the basics.

I didn't even know we had pecans.

I picked them out of the granola.

Which, if you ask me,

is the only good use for granola.

Well, it all looks delicious.

Lexi, this is such a nice thing to do

on your first morning here.

But you should've woken me
up, I would've done it with you.

Oh, you'll get a chance.

I do this every morning at : a.M.

: a.M.?!

Sounds like fun, syd.

Oh, don't worry, uncle max. You'll get your turn.

I made a schedule.

♪ ♪

so, what do y'all think of my smoothie?

Wow!

Dang!

Seriously, lexi, this is the best smoothie

I've ever tasted

in my life.

I'm gonna put this smoothie
on the menu right away.

I'll call it "lexi's southern delight."

me?! On a menu?

Wait 'til I tell koko.

Maybe I won't tell her.

Sometimes that girl can be so jelly.

I know. Sometimes syd can be so peanut butter.

(both laugh)

peanut butter. Good one, uncle max.

Are you two gonna be trouble?

Oh, that ship has sailed.

Hey, syd!

Oh, be right back.

Hey, olive.

-Is that lexi over there?
-Yep.

Aw, she's even more adorable than I imagined.

I just wanna pinch her cheeks, squeeze her,

and give her some hard candy.

Am I turning into my grandma?

Lexi turns every place we go
upside-down with her charm.

We went to nina's salon

and she taught a stylist a new braid.

And got a client to break up with her boyfriend

right there on the phone.

-Oh no, she didn't!
-Oh yes, she did.

Oh hey, lexi, I've got someone
who wants to meet you.

Oh my gosh! The famous lexi!

And you must be the famous olive!

I've heard so much about you.

And all of it's true, girl.

Lexi, I can't wait to spend time with you,

but right now, I've got a ton of math homework.

Which is almost as exciting as meeting you.

Wait, you love math?

Me too!

It's my favorite subject.

Quick! What's your favorite fraction?

Together: Three eighths!

She's a keeper.

Excuse me, ladies.

I gotta introduce that customer

to "lexi's southern delight."

she's so awesome.

I'm so jealous. You have lexi.

And I have four brothers who share underwear.

Anyways, I've gotta go finish
my homework before ned's party.

Oh, right, that's tonight.

I totally forgot.

I really wish you could come, syd,

but I get you wanting to stay with lexi.

Yeah, I mean, she's only been here a few days

and I wanna make sure she feels comfortable.

Now, don't you feel like a new person?

This smoothie is life-changing.

And you're right,

I think it is time I had
that talk with my boyfriend.

It's now or never.

On the other hand, she
looks pretty comfortable to me.

You know what?

Maybe I will go to ned's party.

Yes!

Oh, and just so you know,

emmy's wearing a jumpsuit,
sophia's wearing a mini,

and I'm wearing something amazing.

-What?
-I don't know.

I haven't looked in your closet yet.

Hey, max.

Wassup?

Well, you seem a lot happier than yesterday.

Well, I thought a lot about what you said

and you were right.

Alisha's parents would never
let her move to baltimore.

Did I say that?

I do not recall.

Leo, what are you talking about?

Well let's just say after our family dinner,

I may have been a little off.

What?

So what'd you hear?

Well, alisha was all,

"I have to go back to baltimore."

and her sister, essence, was like,

"if you love baltimore so much,
why don't you just marry it?"

and then uncle joe was
like, "I don't want you girls

thinking about marriage until you're forty."

and then aunt maya was all,
"that's their choice, not yours."

and I was like, "are we ever gonna eat?"

leo!

Anyway,

aunt maya and uncle joe said they'd consider

letting alisha do the rest of
the school year in baltimore.

No! She can't leave.

Leo, you gotta do something.

Max, have you met alisha?

You think she's gonna listen to me?

I couldn't even get her to
pass the potatoes last night.

Why would she wanna leave
portland? It's the best city.

Wait, that's it.

We've gotta convince her that
portland is better than baltimore.

Yeah, it's got mountains, it's
got lakes, it's got great food.

You're leaving out the best part.

It's got me.

Yeah, maybe we should lead with the food.

♪ ♪

okay lexi, I got everything on your grocery list.

-Great, so you got the--
-yeah.

-And the--
-two of 'em.

-And did you?
-Yes, I used the coupons.

Well, I'm off to my paintball tournament.

What do you think of my game face?

Too nice. Try this.

Grrr!

Rawr!

Nobody's messin' with you, grandma.

Thanks, lexi.

Now I gotta go teach some
college punks a thing or two.

Do you want me to have the
ice packs or heating pads ready?

Both.

Well, I'm ready to go.

Wow, you look like a princess going to a ball!

Aw, thanks.

I'm gonna need that dress in a few years.

It's yours.

Now lexi, you're sure you're
okay with me going out tonight?

Goodness gracious, I'll be fine.

Uncle max has the whole night planned.

Yep, we're gonna play some games,

then we're gonna watch rainbow pony.

It's winston's favorite movie.

He always gets a little teary

when the mom and baby horse are reunited.

Wait, they get separated?

Oh, boy.

(giggles)

now, give me some sugar before you leave.

Have fun. And don't keep this one up too late.

-I won't.
-I was talkin' to lexi.

♪ ♪

okay, this has got to work.

I don't want alisha to leave,

so we have to convince her that portland

is way better than baltimore.

But alisha can't know our
plan, so don't be too obvious.

Come on, who are you talking to?

You. That's why I said it.

(doorbell rings)

there she is.

Hey, max. Leo.

Hey, alisha!

Have a donut.

Whoa, you got vampire donuts?!

Yeah, I just happened to be walking
by the greatest donut store in the world,

which also happens to be
in portland, and I thought,

why not get a couple?

Which I can, 'cause I live in portland.

I love vampire donuts!

And you got my favorite, the cereal ones!

That's why they're the best.

Too bad you can only get them in portland.

Yup. Only in portland.

And baltimore.

Both: What?!

Didn't you guys hear?

The owner's opening up a
shop there right on the harbor.

-Why would he do that to me?
-Huh?

But speaking of great things in portland,

how about our aquarium, huh?

Yeah. Remember the time we hung out there?

I do, but what would really help
the memories come flooding back

would be watching the video.

-Sure would. -Whoa, talk
about crazy, I happen to
have it all cued up.

C'mon, leo, get in the video.

Don't worry. The sharks won't get you.

Wow, that day was so much fun. I love aquariums.

Yeah, nothing's better than our aquarium.

I know.

Except the aquarium in baltimore.

Both: What?!

Did you know you can spend the night there?

Me and my friends did it
once. It was so much fun.

Wait, you can spend the night there?

That sound awesome. Who wouldn't love that?

Not me.

You know what's another cool portland tradition?

Giving gifts for no reason at all.

Here. Open it.

Wow, that's so nice of you.

(loud screech)

ahhhh!

(laughs)

gotcha! That's from our favorite
prank store, frank's pranks.

Aw, man. I love going to that place.

Well, there's only one, right here in portland.

And I'm pretty sure frank's not
gonna open up a second location,

'cause he's barely hanging on here.

Hey, alisha. Your mom just
called. She wants to see you.

Really? That must mean they've
made their decision. I better go.

Thanks for the scare, max. See ya, cuz.

That was a bust.

What was that all about?

Alisha wants to move back to baltimore.

We were trying to get her to stay here.

I'm sorry, max.

I know how sad you'd be if she left.

If there's anything I can do, let me know.

Hey, why don't we move to baltimore?

If there's anything else I can do, let me know.

Sorry, buddy.

Hey, let's eat all the donuts
and forget about our troubles.

I'm not really hungry.

Okay, then I'll forget about 'em for you.

♪ ♪

oh, hey, syd.

Oh, hey, dad. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

Wow, that is a lot of tissues.

Rainbow pony's momma got better,

but it was touch and go for a while.

Where's lexi?

When I fell asleep, she must've gone upstairs.

Well, I'll go up and check on her. Night, dad.

And hey, maybe sometime we
can all watch rainbow pony together.

No way. I'm not that strong.

Oh, you're still up.

So, did you have fun tonight?

I guess.

Lexi,

what's wrong?

You know you can tell me anything.

(sighs)

I wanna go home.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I can't believe lexi wants to go home.

I thought everything was going great.

Syd, she's still a seven-year-old
girl away from home for the first time.

(door opens)

woo!

Get ready to par-tay.

You are looking at the winner

of our college's paintball championship.

Can I get a "woohoo?"

I always pretend to be interested in your stuff.

Lexi's unhappy and wants to go back to savannah.

Aw, poor kid.

And it's all my fault.

I shouldn't have gone out tonight.

Syd, it's not your fault. She's homesick.

So what do we do?

Well, clearly lexi can't go home.

Her parents are in south america.

Yeah, but I hate the idea of her
being unhappy while she's here.

Too bad there isn't a way to bring
a little of savannah here to portland.

You know what?

Maybe there is.

♪ ♪

alisha?

Hey, max.

Sorry I didn't call first,

but I wanted to tell you the big news in person.

Let me guess. Your parents said
you can move back to baltimore.

Yeah, they did.

That's great.

I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun there.

I would... If I was going. But I'm not.

Seriously?!

Yeah, seriously.

I know you were trying to sell me on portland,

but it made me realize it's
not portland I would miss.

It's the people.

Oh yeah? Like who?

Well, my parents, leo,
my little sister, essence...

Right, right, of course.

And you.

I'd really miss you.

Really? You would?

I'd really miss you too.

And you know what else I'd miss?

Kicking your butt at everything.

(scoffs) you don't kick my butt at everything.

Oh yeah? I bet I can swing higher than you.

You're on.

(both laughing)

♪ ♪

hey, sweetie.

How ya feelin'?

I miss home.

I'm so sorry.

Have you been feelin' this way for a while?

Lexi, I wish I would've known.

I didn't want you to know.

I didn't want to disappoint you

after all the nice things you've done for me.

But that's the thing about being sisters.

They tell each other everything,

because, no matter what,

they're always there for each other.

Just like our mommas,

telling secrets in the dark.

Yep, just like our mommas.

Hey, let's make a sister pact.

From now on,

we're always honest with each other.

Okay. Pinky swear?

Pinky swear.

Well, what am I gonna do?

When you're not around, I
just keep thinkin' about home.

Well, when I was at summer
camp and I was homesick,

I would always go on the swings.

Did it help?

There's only one way to find out.

Both: Surprise!

Winston!

What are you doing here?

I know you're feeling homesick,

so I decided to bring a
little bit of home to you.

You did this for me?

Thank you, thank you, syd!

Oh winston, I missed you so much.

Where are my manners?

Everybody, this is winston.

You don't need to introduce us.

We chatted all the way back from the airport.

In fact, I'm a little hoarse.

(laughs)

little hoarse.

Winston, you're gonna love
uncle max. He's so funny.

And this is grandma judy.
She's basically the coolest.

She's not lying, winston.

And this is my sister-cousin, sydney.

Hi, winston. We spoke on the phone. I'm sydney.

Did you have a good trip?

(winston snorts)

aw, he's so cute.

Gosh, I have so much to tell you, winston.

But I should let you get settled in first.

Oh, he settled in alright.

In the car, in the front lawn,

over there.

(giggles)

well, the most important
thing is that he feels at home.

Like I do.

♪ ♪

you guys should see how happy lexi is.

She and winston are so adorable.

Noodle, I'm so proud of you for
taking such good care of your cousin.

And I have to thank dad for
letting winston stay with us.

Especially after I saw what he did to your car.

Well, I learned my lesson.

From now on, my one rule is
the little guy stays in the yard.

Hey, y'all!

Uncle max, is it okay if I show winston my room?

Please, uncle max?

Sure.

I thought you had a rule.

My second rule is there's no way I can say

no to a cute seven-year-old
with a miniature horse.

♪ ♪

(laughing)