07x30 - Goober's Contest

[bunniefuu]

How's my car?

Well, it was
your carburetor

but she's fixed now.

Oh, good.

Something wrong?

I'm depressed.

About what?

No business, Andy.

Here it is the end of the day

and I've sold a grand total
of gallons of gas.

If things don't improve

I'm going to have to find
a new career.

Maybe it's
just a slack period.

It's not that at all, Andy.
It's unfair competition.

Every gas station
in the area

are running contests giving away
cash prizes

and I can't compete with them.

Floyd.

Well, he hasn't been
in here in a month.

Hmm.

Hey, maybe that's
a sign of good luck.

Welcome back, Floyd.

How many?

pounds all around.

You might check
the battery, too.

You mean, you don't want no gas?

No, thank you.

I got it filled up
out on the road.

It's very kind of you
to ask, though.

Just air in your tires
and check the battery?

They had so many
customers over there.

You hear this, Andy?

They running a contest
at this place, Floyd?

Yes. Over to earlie gilley's.

Wonderful contest.

"Line up for loot."

Big cash prizes.

Goober, are you going to check
these tires or not?

You can bet I'm not.

That's a pretty
snippy attitude, I'd say.

Why should I
when you're not gonna buy gas?

Good will, my boy...

First law of good business.

Now, look, Floyd...

Kindly remove your hand
from the door of my car.

I'm leavin'.

Well, that's
the final straw.

What does Wally say
about all this?

He says if business
don't pick up

we're going to have
to shut the place down.

He's the boss.

That'd be an awful shame.

Andy, I was just thinking.

Why don't I start
a contest here?

Well, there's no reason
not to at all.

Yeah, yeah.
I'll check with Wally

and see if he'll put up
the prize money.

That's a great idea.

I tell you, Andy.

To survive in business,
you got to have brains.

How much is times five?

.

I was kinda sure of it

but two heads is always
better than one

when you're dealing
with higher arithmetic.

Yeah.

How much did Wally say
he'd put up for the contest?

$ in prize money.

Boy.

Well, I better be
getting on home.

Ope, we better check
the rest of these prizes.

Okay.

Let's see now.

multiplied
by three is... .

Did you know that?

Yeah.

That fast?

Uh-huh.

I guess they teach you
good in school.

Yeah.

Did they ever
teach you that in school?

No.

That's to make your numbers
darker when you write 'em down.

You might mention that
to your teacher.

I will, goober.

Well, now, with these
five-dollar prizes

and three and two,
that ought to add up to $ .

But we better check it
to be sure.

Okay.
Okay?

Nought, nought,
carry the one...

Nought, exactly $ .

Huh?
That's right.

Whatcha gonna call
the contest, goob?

Well, I was gonna call it
"goober's gusher of gold,"

but Wally, being the boss,
decided it'd be

"grab bag for cash."

I like yours better.

Thanks.

I better get this list
to the printers

and get things started.

Okay. Good luck
with your contest.

Thanks, ope.

There you are.

A list of all
the prizes.

And you want me
to print little slips

with the amounts on them
and stick them in envelopes?

Yeah, that's right.

And then in the envelopes
that don't win nothing

print up slips of paper

that says "better
luck next time."

That's so they'll
come back and try again.

Yeah, I got you.

Uh, day after tomorrow
be all right?

Yeah, fine.
I'll pick 'em up.

I'll see you.
Okay, goober.

See ya, Joe.

Bye, goob.

Hey, Joe.
Yeah.

You want to set up
the type on these prizes?

Okay.

"Two dollars,
three, five..."

Hey, goober's really got
a jackpot prize here.

"$ ."

No kidding?

Right there.

Huh?

I didn't know he could afford
to give away anything

as big as that...
A $ prize.

Okay. Go ahead
and print it on up.

Well, that's
ten gallons, sir.

Ten more gallons.

Yeah. Big difference,
huh, goob?

Been like this
all day long.

Two envelopes.

You get one envelope
with each five gallons.

"Better luck next time."

Same.

Too bad.

Well, I'll try again.

Thanks.

Pull on up, aunt bee.

Hello, goober.

Hey, aunt bee.

Five gallons.

Right.

Well, keep your
fingers crossed.

Did you win anything?

No. Got three envelopes.

Struck out every time.

Fellow in front of me won $ .

Goobers given out, oh,
four, five prizes already.

Well, I won't win anything.

How do you know
you won't?

Because I never do.

How many chances have I bought
at the church raffle?

at least.

Church raffles are
no good, anyway.

Even if you win something,
you just have to donate it back.

Opie.

Well, it's true.

Well, maybe so, but to criticize
the church raffle

is a sacrilege.

Well, important thing here is,
if you do win something

you don't have

to give it back.

Five gallons, aunt bee.
Here's your envelope.

All right.

Can I open the envelope,
aunt bee?

Yes, dear.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Five dollars!

What?

You won five dollars!

Congratulations.

I!

Well, how about that?

Andy, I won five dollars!

Five dollars!

Look, I won five dollars!

Here it is, aunt bee.

Here's my five dollars.

Look at my five dollars.

Aunt bee, I think
they get the message.

I've never won anything
before in my life.

Aunt bee, listen...

Came like a bolt
out of the blue.

Aunt bee, I've got
other customers waiting.

Oh, yes, of course.

I'm sorry.

Five dollars!

This is better than
the church raffle, isn't it?

You can say that again.

Well, I'm glad she won.

Maybe if folks like
Floyd hear about it

they'll bring their
business back again.

Yeah, and I'll just see
that Floyd hears about it.

I'll see you, goob.

Okay.

Bring it on up.
There's plenty of gas.

Good

aunt bee sure was excited
about winning.

She sure was.

When we drove home,
she waved the $ bill

at everybody we passed.

She did?
Yeah.

Well, that's good
advertising for goober.

Yeah! Well, his business
sure is great

since he started
that contest.

Yeah, I guess just about

everybody in town's
gone back to him.

What about Floyd?

Well, I had a long talk
with Floyd

about patronizing
goober's...

You know, especially since they
got the contest there now too.

I think I got him convinced.

Paw, is Floyd stubborn?

Um...yeah, you might say so.

I thought so.

I've been trying to get him to
part my hair on the other side

just like yours
for a year now,

but he won't do it.
He won't?

He says it won't fit
my facial contour.

Oh, well, maybe he's right.

Yeah...

When do you think he's going
back to goober's?

Ten days, two weeks...
He says he's got a t*nk full.

I just hope
he wins a few dollars,

otherwise I'll never hear
the end of it.

Well, it took you
long enough to come in.

Today's the last day
of the contest.

I had an ample supply
of fuel

if that's all right
with you.

Well, I'm glad you
finally come in, anyway.

Merely a civic
obligation, goober.

After that little air episode

I planned never to set a tire
in your station again.

/ gallons.

Here's your change
and your envelopes.

There's still a few prizes left.

I don't expect to win
anything here.

Well, you just might.

I won four dollars
at "line up for loot."

Would you mind opening them
back at the barber shop?

I've got customers waiting.

All right, all right.

I suppose you're aware

that you didn't get
my windshield, either?

Next time.

He's getting right out, sir.

Hey, Floyd,
did you go over?

Andy, look, look.

"$ "?

Yeah!

Oh, wonderful boy,
that goober.

I had no idea
he had a prize this big.

He knows
how to build up good will.

He's a smart businessman.

Well, you really hit it,
didn't you, Floyd?

Yeah. Buy a lot of things
with $ .

Yeah. I guess the next thing's
to go down and pick it up, huh?

Hey, Andy, if you're going
by there, give goober the slip

and tell him I'll be by
when I close the shop.

Right. I'll be glad to.

I'll see you.

Andy, Andy

and tell him I'll
take it all in $ s.

Hey, Andy.
Hi, goob.

Just checking some receipts

looks like I might
have had another big day.

Great, great.

Floyd asked me
to drop this by.

Said he'd be by after
he closed for the cash.

Floyd won a prize, huh?

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad of that.

Yeah. It's some prize.

You really ran
a contest, goob.

I'll see you.

Hey, Andy!

Yeah?

Tell Floyd I'll be here
till : .

Okay!

And tell him that he ought
to deal from now on

with his local gas station.

All right.

"$ ."

"$ "?! Andy!

Here it is.

See it yourself,
goober.

That $ is marked there

just like the rest
of your figures on the sheet.

If you wanted us to know
it was the total

you should have drawn
a line across.

But you ought to know

I couldn't give away
no $ prize.

I didn't exactly
walk in here

wearing a tuxedo,
you know?

We figured it was
kind of a jackpot prize.

What are you going to do?

I don't know, except this...

Wally ain't going to hand out
no more prize money.

I'm sorry, goober.

You say Floyd won it?

Yeah.
What're you gonna tell him?

I don't know.

If it'd been anybody else,
they'd understand.

Start printing up
get-well cards.

I suspect there'll be
a lot of folks

wanting to send them to me.

Oh, Floyd, I just had to
come and congratulate you.

Andy told me.

Well, thanks, bee.

I'm just looking through
the barber catalogue here

to see how I'm going
to spend it.

I'm going to modernize
the whole shop.

a*t*matic washer-dryer-shampooer

with a patented
foam-free rinse control.

That should be
a big step forward.

Yeah. It brings shampooing
into the th century.

Well, you got goober
to be grateful to for all this.

Yes. I was a little wary

about that contest
in the beginning.

I thought there might be
something phony about it

but he sure ran
an up-and-up contest.

Oh, he's a fine boy.

Yes. Well, congratulations
again, Floyd.

Thanks, bee.

Well, bye.

Bye, bee.

Oh, hello, goober.

Oh, hey, aunt bee.

I was just in
congratulating Floyd

on his winnings.

Oh, yeah.

You know, goober, you should be
very proud of yourself

giving so much pleasure
to so many people.

And, you know,
everyone has commented

how honest and fair
the contest was.

Good.

Especially Floyd.
He's floating on air.

He knows exactly how
he's going to spend it.

He does?

Goober, are you all right?

I'm fine, aunt bee. Fine.

Well, you look a little peaked.

I'm okay, aunt bee.

Well, maybe it's the strain
of the contest.

Now you listen.

You go home
and you take a hot bath

and you go right to bed.

That takes care
of everything.

Bye, goober.

Bye, aunt bee.

Hey, Andy.

Oh, hi, goob.

Things slow down a little bit
at the filling station?

Yeah, a little.

I got spooky Vincent
to take care of it for me.

Yeah. You sure have
been working hard.

That was a fine contest.

Yeah.

Sit down and rest yourself.

Thanks.

Andy, I suppose

they's got laws on everything,
ain't they?

Just about.

I was just thinking.

I bet they even got them
on contests.

I imagine.

I mean, not that I care
or anything

but I was just wondering

if a person was to run a contest
and something went wrong

what could they do to him?

You mean a hypothetical case?

Yeah, one of them.

You know how things like that
run through your head.

What went wrong, goober?

Huh?

I don't know
what you mean, Andy.

What went wrong?

When I was making out the
list for the prize money

I wanted to be sure
I had exactly $

and I made out
five-dollar prizes

and three-dollar prizes
and two-dollar prizes

and everything that
added up finally to $

but I left out the line
before the total .

I just didn't put the
line before the !

I left out the line
before the !

Well, how do you think
Floyd's going to take it

when I tell him there
ain't no $ prize?

Well...

You remember that tornado that
hit town about years ago?

Yeah.

About like that.

Well, Andy,
it was a honest mistake.

I know it was, goober.

So I guess about the
only thing you can do

is go to the barbershop,
plant your feet firm

tell him the truth.

Then what?

Well, after he yells
and screams a while

maybe he'll calm down and
realize it was a mistake.

I guess I got no choice.

No.

Good luck, goob.

Yeah...

Oh, come in, goober!
Come in, my friend!

Hey, Floyd.

You bring the
money with you?

Well, no, I didn't.

Oh, of course you
wouldn't carry around

that kind of money.

I'll drop by when
I close the shop.

Well, you see, Floyd

uh, the reason I come
in here was because...

Or I'll pick it up tomorrow.

There's no hurry.

And I want you to know

that you got a free haircut
coming, and a shampoo

and I'll use my French soap.

It'll make you smell
like Maurice chevalier.

Well, that's nice
of you, Floyd

oh, not at all.

Not at...

Say, you seem
a little bit jumpy, goober.

Anything wrong?

Well, there is just a little
something that's come up.

Oh, I know.

It's one
of those everyday annoyances.

Let me put the vibrator on it.

On those neck muscles, huh?

No, thanks.
Floyd, I...

Hi, guys.

Did you tell him, goob?

Tell me what, Andy?

Tell me what?

About the prize.

Well, what did you
want to tell me

about the prize, goober?

Did you have something
you wanted to tell me

about the prize, boy?

Well, it was a mistake, Floyd.

I made a mistake when I took
the list to the printers.

There ain't no $ prize.

Fraud!

I charge fraud.

Floyd, don't be ridiculous.

Andy, do your duty.

What?

You're the law in this town.

It was an honest mistake, Floyd.

I demand that prize money.

Look, Floyd...

Wait outside, goober.

Now, now, look, Floyd...

I went in that gas station
in good faith.

I know, Floyd.

He didn't even give me
my windshield wipe.

Well, he was busy.

And the last time
I was in there

he wouldn't give me any air.

Look, Floyd...

I demand justice.

I want my $ .

Now, Floyd, you've got to
be reasonable about this.

Reasonable?!

I've been swindled, Andy.

Everybody else gets
their prizes.

And I'm warning you
if I don't get satisfaction

I'll take this to the highest
court in the land.

I already ordered my shampooer
with a foam-free rinse.

W

Oh, you can't talk to him.

Well, what am I going to do?

I don't know, goober.

I just don't know.

You got to think
of something.

I don't want to go
to jail or nothing.

I didn't do it of a purpose.

It could happen to anybody.

Hello.

Yes, aunt bee.

That's right...
What you heard's true.

Well, well, I'm doing
what I can about it.

Andy.

Come in, Floyd.

Well, li...

Well, listen, I can't...

I can't talk to you now.

Right. Bye.

Andy, I just want to know

what you're doing
about this.

Well, Floyd, I got
to thinking about it

and I realize that there is
a matter of law involved here

and so I'm taking
the necessary steps.

Good. What have you done?

Only thing I could do.

You locked him up?

Yeah. I realize that
what goober did was a mistake.

Still, the law is the law

and you want justice done,
don't you?

Well, of course, of course.

You... you lock a fella up
for a thing like this, huh?

Oh, sure. Till his trial.

Well, I got things to do, Floyd.

Comfortable in there, goober?

Fine, Floyd.

Just fine.

How long are you going
to keep him in there, Andy?

Till the trial.

Less, of course,
somebody comes up with bail

which, I think,
is pretty unlikely.

I'll put it up!

Well, you're the one
making the charge.

Oh.

Oh, yes, I forgot.

I'm sorry, goober.

It's very pretty, goober.

Thanks, Floyd.

Andy, you don't think you're
being too drastic here, do you?

I'm just doing
what the law says, Floyd.

Oh, Andy, I had
to come right over.

I'm very concerned

about this thing
between Floyd and goober.

Now what do you plan
to do about it?

There's what he plans to do
about it.

Puts a man in jail

who's not even
been convicted yet.

Goober.

Hey, aunt bee.

Andy, what do you mean
putting goober in jail?

Aunt bee, the law says...

I don't care
what the law says.

You get him out
this very minute.

Well, a charge has
been made against him.

Oh, fiddle-Dee-sticks

you've got no right
to put goober in jail.

What's he ever done to you?

Well, he's never done
anything to me.

Well, then he's not staying
in there another minute.

It's a clear case
of police brutality

but he won't get away
with it.

We're not gonna let you stay
in this place.

Right.

That $ prize was
just an honest mistake.

We'll take this

to the highest court
in the land.

You knew all the time that Floyd
was going to act that way

when you threw
goober in jail.

Yeah.

Deep down, Floyd's
a good guy.

His bark's always
worse than his bite.

That was a real
smart thing, paw.

You're just like
king Solomon.

I am?

Yeah... remember
that story?

When both women said that
the baby was theirs,

so king Solomon
took out a sword

and said he'd give
each one of them half.

He knew that the real
mother would scream...

And she did!

Just like you knew
how Floyd would act.

You know, paw...

If you'd have live in those days
you might have been a king.

Probably.

That would have made
me a prince!

That's right.

We were just born in
the wrong century.

What are you
going to do?