04x23 - Andy Saves Gomer

[bunniefuu]

( whistling sprightly tune )

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also starring Don Knotts.

Paw, Paw! Here's a letter from Barney!

A letter from Barney?

Barney? Letter from Ba... What's it say?

What's it say, Paw?

Well, here, let me read it to you.

FLOYD: Yeah, oh, I'd love to.

Oh, I bet he and his Cousin Virgil

are having themselves a time in the city, huh?

Well, what does it say, Paw?

Well, wait. Let me get it out of the envelope.

Let's see here.

Ah...

Well, he starts off, he says, uh, says

"Dear peasants, ha-ha."

Peasants!

"Would have written sooner,

"but Virgil and I have been on the go every minute

"since we got here and checked in at the 'Y.'

"It sure isn't like Mayberry,

"where they roll up the sidewalks every night.

Ha-ha."

Roll up the sidewalks every...

That's good.

Why does he say, "ha-ha"?

Uh, 'cause he, uh, he just said something funny.

FLOYD: Yeah, see, when they roll up

the sidewalks, they, well, they just...

well, they really don't roll up the sidewalks.

No. But it's funny!

( laughing ) ANDY: He goes on.

He says, "Last night was really wild.

"We went to the arcade

and played four games of skee-ball."

Four games? Huh.

Boy, he is having a time for himself. Yeah.

"There was a magic store there,

"and I bought a tin ink blot

"that looks just like the real thing.

"Can't wait to put it on Aunt Bee's tablecloth

and watch her face. Ha-ha."

Oh, he's a devil, isn't he?

"Next... Next, Virgil had a tie painted for him

"while I sh*t at a tin bear

"with an air r*fle.

"Let me tell you,

old sharpsh**ter Barn really pinged up the place."

( mumbles )

Yeah.

"Then we went in a booth

"where you get four pictures taken

"for a quarter.

"I was going to send you one,

but it turned all brown later."

Oh, that's too bad. Yeah.

"After that, we had supper at a waffle shop

"where the waitresses all dress alike

"in peek-a-boo blouses.

And let me tell you..."

( low muttering )

Peek-a-boo... Yeah.

Oh... ( both chuckling )

I'll say he... ( mutters )

( chuckling fades )

Uh...

ANDY: And then, um... Well, what's he say, Paw?

Oh, just about, uh... supper.

Yeah, just about what he had for supper.

What was that about "peek-a-boo"?

Is that like, "ha-ha"?

Uh... something like that.

Uh... "Have to close now.

"Having fun, but money sure doesn't last.

"Been here only three days,

and already gone through ten dollars."

Ten dollars? Yeah.

"Well, see you in the funny papers. Ha-ha. Barney."

( both chuckling )

Oh, he sure is having a time for himself.

He sure is, yeah. Boy.

I'll take this over and show it to Gomer later.

He'll get a kick out of it. Hmm.

You better get on to school, Ope.

You'll be late.

Paw? Huh?

Ain't peek-a-boo something you play with babies?

Why would Barney...? Ope, uh... uh...

You better get on to school, Ope.

Bye, Paw. Okay.

Bye, Floyd.

Yeah, bye, Opie.

Bye.

( laughing )

Oh, kids... they want to know everything.

Yeah, they sure do.

Say, Andy? Yeah?

Would you mind reading that part again?

In the letter it's kind of down toward the end of the letter.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

( clears throat )

"where the waitresses all dress in peek-a-boo blouses,

and let me tell you..."

( chuckling )

( inaudible )

( sniffing )

Something's burning.

Gomer?!

Gomer, you got a fire going on in here!

What? Wake up!

( gasps ) You got a fire!

What? Oh, for...

Shazam!

A fire! A fire!

Get some water!

Some water, where's the water?!

G-Gomer!

( sighs )

I can't find the can!

It must have burnt up, too!

Got to have a can to put out a fire!

Gomer! Gomer, Gomer, Gomer! Where's...?

Gomer, Gomer, Gomer! Gomer! Gomer! Gomer! Gomer! Gomer!

It's-It's out. It's out, Gomer.

It's out. The fire's out, Gomer.

I put the fire out.

But you tell Wally to be more careful

where he throws his cigar butts.

Especially with these old oily rags around.

Shazam, an oil fire!

Well, more smoke than anything else.

Sure a lucky thing you come by here, Andy.

Why, flames could have come sh**ting out there any minute,

and then the whole place would have gone up,

and then it'd spread to the gas pumps.

And then, kaboom!

Well, it didn't, and it's out.

There I'd have been, trapped in that chair...

Burnt to a turn.

My life snuffed out, completely dead!

Well, I hardly think that would have happened.

You know what you just gone and done, Andy?

I'll tell you what you just done.

You saved my life.

That's what you just went and done.

Well, not really, Gomer.

I didn't do that at all.

But I do hope it'll teach you and Wally

to be more careful around here.

Oh, here, letter from Barney.

Thought you might like to read it.

I'll see you.

Hey, Andy, want some gas or oil?

Everything's free.

No, thanks, Gomer.

How about a -point lube job?

No, thanks.

Well, here's some wiper blades and a radiator hose

and a fan belt.

After all, you saved my life.

Really, Gomer, it was nothing.

You mean my life's worth nothing?

No, Gomer, I don't mean that.

Well, then take something.

Here's some spark plugs,

and I'll get you a flashlight,

and here's a rear-view mirror.

N-No, thanks, Gomer. No, thanks.

Some other time.

I got a lot of work to do.

I'll see you, okay?

Okay, Andy.

Thanks for saving my life.

Morning, everybody.

Morning, Andy. Morning, Paw.

Boy, I'll be glad when Barney gets back from his vacation

to spell me on some of this night duty.

You'll perk up after you've had a good breakfast.

Hey, Andy! Hey, Gomer.

Hey, Aunt Bee!

Hey, Gomer.

Hey, Opie.

Hey, Gomer. ( sighs )

( screams ) Whoa!

What in the world?!

Beauties, ain't they?

Well, yeah.

They're yours.

Ours? ( stammering )

You've been out fishing already this morning?

Yes'm. Since : a.m.

I know how the Sheriff likes his fish,

so I got up special early

to catch him a mess for breakfast.

Little enough for the man that saved my life.

Saved your life?

Now, look, it w... it was just a few old rags smoldering.

A roaring blaze swept through the filling station

yesterday afternoon,

and I was trapped inside... a goner!

Then Andy battled his way in.

I'd have perished for sure if he hadn't of.

Did you really, Paw?

I didn't hear anything about a fire.

Because it was just a little bitty two-bit thing, that's all.

Now, now, now, look, Gomer, let's call it square.

You got your life, I got the fish.

It evens out.

The patrol car's out front, all washed and polished.

It's just sparkling.

You didn't wash the car, too?

Uh-huh.

What really did happen at the fire, Paw?

Nothing, Ope.

Believe me, nothing.

I'll fix the fence

as soon as I trim the back hedges,

'lessen you'd rather I sweep out the garage

and clean out the eaves troughs first.

No, no, no, no. There-There's nothing you have to do, Gomer.

Thank you, but there's nothing.

Come on, Ope, I'll take you to school.

Do you want me to take him?

I'll carry him in my arms every step of the way.

The first-born child

of the man that saved my life.

No, thanks. Come on, Ope.

Then you want me to drive you?

No, no, no... You can sit

in the back seat with your feet up.

No, no. Come on, Ope.

Andy, your breakfast!

There goes a hero.

A real hero.

GOMER: Hey, Andy!

I brought your rubbers and your bumper sh**t down.

It's getting a little cloudy outside.

We might be getting a drop of rain later.

Well, thanks, Gomer, but you really didn't have to bother.

Well, think how I'd feel if you caught the pneumonia,

for having saved my life and all.

( clears throat ): Thanks, Gomer.

I'll-I'll see you.

Hey, is there anything around here you'd like me to do

with Barney being gone and all?

Oh, no, thanks Gomer.

Would you like me to sweep up, make the beds,

or wash out a few things?

Uh, no, thanks, Gomer. I'll see you.

Do you need any handiwork done?

Any electrical repairs? Or car...?

Uh, no, no, thanks, Gomer. I'll see you.

Is the plumbing all right?

Fine, Gomer, fine.

( thudding )

GOMER: Hey, Andy.

I'm doing your winders.

Gomer, you don't have to do that.

Oh, they was a sight. I bet you had

the dirtiest winders in this town.

But, Gomer... It ain't right for the sheriff's office.

Why, I could write my name with my finger.

That's how dirty they was.

Well, Gomer, it's nice of you, but you shouldn't.

The county sends a man around regular to do that.

It's his job.

Well, he hasn't been doing his job.

Sheriff ought to be able to see out his winders, I say.

Hey, folks, you know what I'm doing?

I'm washing winders for the man that saved my life.

Gomer... That's right,

the Sheriff saved my life yesterday.

Gomer, don't start that again.

A roaring blaze swept through the filling station

yesterday afternoon, and I was trapped inside... a goner.

And then the sheriff battled his way in,

and he saved my life for sure...

( inaudible )

Hey, Andy!

Gomer, what in the world are you doing?!

Getting you set up with some firewood.

I figured on surprising you.

Well... well... well... You are surprised.

I can tell by your face you are.

Come on inside.

Gomer!

That ought to last you a while.

There's enough wood there for seven winters!

Ain't there though?

Gomer, I really wish you hadn't done that.

Now, look, you're probably tired.

You've had a big day.

And you have, too, I bet you.

Did you save any more lives today?

Come on over here and sit down

in your chair, and read your newspaper, No, no...

and I'll fetch your slippers... Gomer, no...

No, Gomer, no, no, no.

Now, Gomer, Gomer, you've done enough.

You've done more than enough.

Now I really appreciate it, Gomer.

Let's call the whole thing quits. But, Andy...

I'll see you over the filling station this weekend.

We'll have a bottle of pop.

Oh, I thought I heard you come in.

Gomer insisted on straightening up the attic.

You know, it took me an hour

to put things back where I could find them? I know.

Aunt Bee, what are we going to do

with all that wood?

I don't know.

Carter French called.

He said they're having a boiled dinner

down at the firehouse and cribbage afterwards.

Hmm. I think I'll go down there.

Maybe some of the boys can use some wood.

What's wrong?

I'm just making sure

there's no sign of "the shadow."

Gomer's not still here, is he?

Well, I won't take any chances.

I'll go out the back way.

There'll be some rhubarb pie for you

when you get home.

Hey, Andy.

I just remembered

they're having a boiled dinner

over at the firehouse tonight.

You want me to take you?

Uh, no, Gomer, I, uh, I won't be going.

Well, that's too bad.

Where are you going?

Nowhere. I was just putting out the cat.

Well, I'll do that for you.

Here, puss-puss. Here, puss-puss.

You ain't got a cat.

No. I was just practicing for when I do.

When you do get a cat, you just let me know.

It's little enough for the man that saved my life

helping out with his p*ssy cat.

A lot of folks'd forget a good deed like that, but not me.

I believe that, Gomer. I really do.

No sir, if I live to be a hundred,

I intend to be by your side

to help you out every day of my life.

Well, good-bye, lifesaver man.

Every day of his life.

Morning, everybody.

Morning, Paw. Morning, Andy.

How many fish did Gomer bring us this morning?

None, Paw.

We ain't seen him.

Hmm?

You don't reckon he's forgotten about us?

Well, you know Gomer.

Nothing stays with him too long.

I guess that's right.

I'm doing my baking today.

Now, which would you rather have,

applesauce cake or angel food cake?

Oh, either one.

Well, you choose which.

You can have your favorite.

Okay.

Applesauce cake.

I think I'll make angel food.

I have a lot of egg whites left.

Bye, Paw.

Hey, Ope, come here.

Yeah, Paw?

What's today?

Saturday.

What happens on Saturday?

The grass gets cut.

Mm-hmm.

Strange looking lawn mower on your shoulder there.

But gee, Paw,

Tommy Griff's got a new cement driveway

without any cracks.

All the g*ng's going to skate there.

You can, too, right after

you give the grass a good haircut.

Go on, now, the next sound I want to hear

is the lawn mower cutting away.

( lawn mower whirring )

It's Gomer.

Hey, Gomer. Hey, Ope.

Oh, it was too good to be true.

Hey, Aunt Bee.

Gomer.

Hey there, lifesaver man.

Hey, Gomer.

Your grass needed cutting.

Gomer, that's Opie's job.

I'll do it for him.

Anything to be of service to you and yours.

No, that's Opie's regular job,

and I want him to get used to the idea.

Oh.

Well, then I'll take the clippers

and trim the hedges for him.

Lessen, you'd rather I go down to the jail with you,

and help out down there?

Oh, no, no. No, no.

Okay, I'll trim for Ope, then take him roller-skating.

I picked these flowers for your table vase.

I would have picked more,

but the lady rapped on the winder.

Let's get started, Ope.

Paw... Oh, hi, son.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Certainly.

What's on your mind?

Gomer.

What about him?

Well, he puts on my skates for me,

and picks me up when I fall down

and dusts off my clothes,

and he keeps giving me his handkerchief

in front of the whole g*ng.

And all the guys laugh.

Well, son, you have to understand...

Here he comes now.

Do I have to go with him?

No. I'll talk to him.

Hey, Andy.

Hey, Gomer.

You seen Opie?

Who? Opie.

I thought he came this way.

You seen him?

Oh, he's probably around somewhere.

But, Gomer, you've done enough.

Opie will be fine.

But he needs me.

He falls down an awful lot.

He'll probably come by here looking for me, so I'll wait.

Gomer, hadn't you better be getting to work?

You're gonna lose your job staying away like this.

Now ain't that just like you, Andy.

Always worried about somebody else's problems.

Fact is, Wally told me that I could take off

all the time that I wanted

after I told him you saved his place from burning up.

Oh.

So I'll wait.

But Opie will probably be heading home.

That's it. That's it.

Aunt Bee's cake-baking today.

And Opie likes to be close by

when there's any cake baking.

Aunt Bee baking a cake?

That's right.

Hey... hey, Gomer.

Gomer?

Gee, thanks, Paw.

You think Gomer's going to try to help Aunt Bee?

I'm afraid so, son.

I'm very much afraid so.

Gomer, it's no work.

I enjoy doing it.

But I'd be glad to help.

That's what I'm here for.

Let me bust these eggs for you.

I can do that.

No, no, no, Gomer.

I only need a few eggs.

So don't... I don't need many...

Gomer. Gomer!

No, no, no.

Oh, I'm sorry. I can get the next one.

No, don't do that.

Here.

Oh, I'll get that, Aunt Bee.

Gomer, isn't there something else

you'd like to do on a nice Saturday morning?

No, ma'am. I'm here to help.

I'm a good sifter.

Let me sift for you, hear?

Now, Gomer, please.

I can do it. I can sift.

I can do it, Gomer.

Oh, Gomer, please!

( Andy whispering ): Oh, boy, that was good, Aunt Bee.

( Aunt Bee whispering ): More chicken, Opie?

( whispering ): No, thanks, Aunt Bee.

Probably saving room for the cake.

There isn't any cake.

Gomer got me so flustered.

Andy, I don't know what I'm going to do

if Gomer insists upon...

Opie, I want you to understand,

Gomer's still our friend.

He's got the best of intentions.

He's just a little carried away right now

because he's so fond of us.

And we're still very fond of him,

aren't we, Aunt Bee?

Of course, we're very fond of him.

Well, I think I'll be going.

I think I'll do a little shopping

while I'm in town.

I don't want to go home too soon

while Gomer's there.

Probably has the floor all waxed by now.

I may be a little late tonight.

I've got to fix this heater that's been leaking.

Well, I'll see you later.

Okay.

Paw, are we going to have to eat down here

all the time?

No. Things will get back to normal

once Gomer figures he's done enough.

Of course, with him,

he may not figure we're even till he saves my life for me.

Uh... Run on, Ope.

Bye, Paw.

Sarah... I'm fine. I'm fine.

Would you get me my house?

That you, Gomer?

Gomer, I wonder if you'd do me a favor.

I know... I know you would, Gomer.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I know you would, Gomer.

I know you would.

Would you bring me my jacket from the hall closet?

The gas heater's broken down here,

and it's chilly.

No real problem, Gomer,

unless the gas should start to leak

and then it would asphyxiate whoever was here.

But you'd smell the gas if that was happening.

You understand?

You'll bring the jacket.

Right, Gomer.

Thanks.

( gas hissing )

( hissing stops )

( door opening )

Paw?

, , .

Just doing my exercise.

Always like to do at least push-ups a day.

What do you want?

My skate's caught out there in the sidewalk grate.

Well, play with something else.

Well, can I stay here and help you?

I'll get the skate. Come on.

I smell gas, Paw.

I'm fixing the heater.

Hey, Andy?

Shazam. There's gas leaking.

It's leaking, all right.

( gas hissing )

( hissing continues )

Gomer!

( hissing stops )

Gomer? Gomer?

Gomer, Gomer, wake up, Gomer.

Gomer, wake up. Wake up.

Come to, Gomer.

Come to, come to.

It's all right, Gomer.

It's all right.

It's just lucky I came back.

Oh, here we go again.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Where am I? What...?

That you, Gomer?

Thank heavens, you come by when you did.

Huh?

Fast thinking, Gomer,

to turn off the gas like you did,

and pull me away.

No two ways about it, Gomer...

You saved my life.

Huh?

You wasn't even here when I come in.

Oh, yes, I was.

You didn't see me at first,

because I was laying crumpled behind the desk.

But even in your dazed condition,

you found me and saved me.

And if I live to be a hundred,

I'll never forget it.

I'm going to be by your side every day,

bringing you fish,

washing your pickup truck,

bringing you wood, washing your windows.

Ah, you don't have to do all that.

Oh, yes, I do... Oh. Oh...

I get what you mean.

Since you just saved my life,

we're even from my saving yours.

We're square.

We can go back to being what we were before.

Aren't you the clever one?

It's absolutely fair.

( door opening )

Andy, would you pick up a package...?

Oh, Gomer.

Wait a minute, Aunt Bee, wait a minute.

You'll never guess what happened.

Deadly noxious fumes filled this entire structure.

I was a goner, then, in came Gomer.

With absolutely no regard

for his personal safety, he battled his way

through the choking blinding clouds of gas

on his mission of mercy and saved me.

GOMER: That's right.

Go on, and tell her the rest of it.

There I was,

right there, as helpless as a kitten...

Andy, wasn't that taking a chance?

Oh, not really.

And all's well that ends well.

Gomer feels like everything is even between us,

and we can go back

to living without fish every morning.

I'll be able to bake a cake all by myself.

Absolutely.

Opie can go roller- skating by himself.

I don't have a mother hen

hovering over me all the time,

bringing me umbrellas and rubbers.

Yes, sir, happy days are here again.

GOMER: Hey, Andy. Hey, Aunt Bee.

Hey, Gomer. Hey, Gomer.

I brought your jacket up from the jailhouse.

Gonna be chilly out this morning.

I thought you said everything was square.

Oh, we're square all right.

That's all over.

But I got to thinking about what happened in the jail yesterday,

with the gas and all.

Yeah?

Well, you may not realize it, Andy,

but you're what they call accident prone.

There's no question about it.

You need somebody around to keep an eye on you.

And besides, you saved my life

before I saved yours.

So I decided I'd be around

for as much of my spare time as I can.

And what would you like me to do first?

b*at the rug, wash the winders,

sweep the floors, wax the furniture...?