02x15 - A Slip Down Memory Lane

[bunniefuu]

Hiyah!

- Oh!
- Yeah!

Did it again. I am on fire!

[High-pitched] ♪Fire!

More bricks, Eddie.

Okay, just think, in a couple of hours,

Jack is gonna break the world record for
most bricks broken by anyone under .

And I'm breaking a world record too.

For most bricks wheelbarrowed from
one place to another. Right, Rudy?

Yes, you are.

[Mouthing]

Some of the records
in this book are crazy.

There was a woman in
Michigan who ate her own car.

Come look at this picture.

Wow. She literally has
a trunk in her junk.

Yeah.

Would you let him focus, Kim?

The Judge from the Burgess Book of World
Records is gonna be here in a few hours.

He's right. This is my last
chance to break the record.

After I turn next
week, I won't be eligible.

You know...

You getting your name
and, more importantly,

this dojo's name in that record book.

Is like the biggest thing
that's ever happened to us.

Come on, Rudy. The biggest?

When I became a Sensei,
I had two goals...

Saving the President
from a ninja att*ck.

And getting my dojo's
name in a record book

that's read by millions
of people on their toilets.

I'm out!

[Exhales] What up, yo?

Record breaker in the house.

What record are you gonna break?

A record I've been
training for my whole life.

Yeah, world's longest armpit hair.

Check it.

Wow, that is pretty long.

[Chuckles]

Please.

Oh, sweet pit hair!

- Oh ho ho!
- I know, right?

Ooh, it's so soft. What
conditioner do you use?

And I'm gonna smash the
yo-yo record for the,

two-handed synchronized
round-the-world, baby.

Check this out.

[Inhales sharply]

[Screams]

[Groaning and yelling]

[Rock music playing]

- ♪ Don't...
- ♪Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

♪That's just how we do.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.

♪Here we go, let's start the party!

♪Chop it up like it's karate.

♪Everybody!

- ♪Don't...
- ♪ Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪ Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

♪That's just how we do.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.

Oh, Kim. The whole
mall's talking about Jack.

There hasn't been a buzz like this since
the escalator ripped off my security pants.

Thanks, Joan. I, uh, finally
got that image out of my head.

Now it's back.

Oh, I can still hear those construction
workers hootin' and hollerin'.

Begging you to cover up isn't
exactly hootin' and hollerin'.

Well, when you're my age, Kim, the
definition of a hoot gets mighty loose.

Yeah, I'll see you later, Joan.

Hey, uh, Jack.

I made you something to wear
when you break the record.

Oh, sorta like a good luck bracelet.

Uh... yeah.

But it's also more of a...

What, like a friendship bracelet?

Uh...

Yeah.

Great! It's finally official.

We're friends.

Jack, you know I think
of us as more than just...

More than just what?

Um...

I don't know. It's just a
dumb bracelet. I gotta go.

Wait, Kim!

Come on, Kim. Wait a second.

[Bo staffs rattling]

Jack!

Are you okay?

Yeah. I think so.

Just one question, though.

Who are you people?

This is not good.

- He's gonna die.
- All: What?!

My pen light. His batteries are sh*t.

Do you really have to
call your pen light "he"?

Listen, Jack's gonna be fine.

But we're gonna have
to operate... [all gasp]

On a need-to-know basis.

[All sigh]

So here's what you need to know.
We don't have to do any more tests.

Jack only has a minor concussion.

He suffered some memory loss,
but he's probably gonna be fine.

Probably?

Maybe. I don't know. It's not
like medicine's a real science.

[Laughing]

Dr. McCrary, I called Jack's
parents, but they're out of town.

Is there anything that
we can do to help him?

There is one thing you can
do to speed up his recovery.

Talk about the things he's forgotten.

[Cellphone ringing]

Excuse me.

Yes?

Hello.

What?

Oh, no.

I just lost a patient.

I got this one.

See, it sounds like he's
saying he just lost his patient.

But what he really means is
he just lost cell reception.

No.

My patient is dead,
you insensitive punk!

Uh...

Hey, Jack. Do you remember last
week when you loaned me bucks?

- No.
- He's fine.

Ow!

Jack, we're gonna help
you get your memory back.

Is there anything that you
can remember about this dojo?

Sorry.

Come on, Jack. You have
to remember this wall.

Gotta go. Sorry about the wall.

Who was that kid?

All: Jack!

So I'm a karate student.

Oh, no. This is worse than I thought.

We're gonna have to start from scratch.

You, Jack!

Me, Jerry!

You good at karate!

Me better!

Did this guy also hit his head?

Jack, check out these trophies.

You won half of 'em.

And the other half Rudy bought.

You're holding the one
for poodle grooming.

The point is, you're really good, Jack.

What's the big deal, Jack?
You've done that a thousand times.

[Blows]

All: Whoa!

Man, I didn't realize I was that good.

I gotta try some of that.

There you go! See, that's the spirit!

[Exhales]

- Come on.
- Oh!

- Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
- Yo, hey.

Is that how I look when I do karate?

No, Eddie. You're not that good.

This is awful. It's so upsetting.

I know a way to help
him get his memory back.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm gonna smack him in
the head to jog his memory.

What, no! Give me that!

What, no. It totally works.
I've seen it in a cartoon once.

I'm sorry. You guys seem really
nice, but I don't know who you are.

Well, maybe if you told me a little
bit about yourselves, I'd remember.

Oh... I'll get this party started.

Well, I'm Jerry.

Woo.

Oh. Hey, you guys.

Shouldn't you be in detention for putting
a toll booth in the boys' bathroom?

I should be. But when you sit me in
the back and leave a window open...

I'm what they call a flight risk.

Break a board? I can barely
cut a well-cooked piece of fish.

- Just believe in yourself and do it.
- I can't.

When I was born, my parents thought
they'd given birth to a baby bird.

- I mean, that's...
- Do it, Krupnik!

Ah!

Holy Christmas nuts!

[Latin music playing]

Eddie, I don't know
how to tell you this.

But you are never going
to be a good dancer.

Oh, that's okay.

I don't come here for the dancing.

That was technically flawless.
You are a model of efficiency.

Wow, uh, you hear that, Jack?

It called me flawless.

So, anything?

Ah...

No. Still nothing.

I know what'll help you remember you.

Talking about me.

Oh, I'm more than your Sensei.

Father figure, sure.

Role model, you betcha.

Idol? That's you talking, not me.

Look, I appreciate all
you guys trying to help.

But I don't know the
guy you're talking about

and I'm not gonna be able
to break any kind of record.

I think I know what can help, Jack.

- A psychiatric study suggests that...
- Oh, forget that.

- Just give me one good swing at his head.
- No, just let me tell him more about me.

Wait, I know what'll help. I'll
read to him from my friendship diary.

No, that is absurd!

[Overlapping chatter]

Guys?

Guys? Guys!

Jack's gone!

Oh, this is bad.

Jack has no idea who he is and he's out
there on the streets of Seaford all alone.

We have to find him!

I'm taking your falafel ball and
there's nothing you can do about it.

[Laughing]

Oh. I'm sorry.

Jack! I didn't see you there.

Here, man. Take my falafel balls.
I just don't want any trouble.

You're scared of me?

So...

You wouldn't mind if I did this?

And this? [Laughing loudly]

And this?

And this?

And this?

Hey! Careful, Frank!

I hypnotized Jack.

And when I snap my fingers
three times, he'll be back.

And he'll probably
wanna pull your ears off.

Don't do it, man. I have
dreams of being an ear model.

[Screams]

Sorry I ran out, guys.
I just needed a second.

Thanks for saving me, Milton.
You must be the hero of the group.

I have my moments.

There was this one time...

Holy Christmas nuts!

[Voice cracking] I'm huge!

First of all, that didn't really happen.

And second of all,
there's not just one hero.

We're the Wasabi Warriors.
We stick together.

Woo!

Wow! We're a pretty awesome group.

- You guys are like ninjas.
- [Chuckles]

- Of course we are!
- Absolutely. Look at us.

Guys.

We also have our...

Not so ninja moments.

- All the time.
- Every day.

Aw, check out that squirrel
up there. Cute little fella.

Ah! Get it off!

Oh! Dude.

I did it! I did it! I did it!

Oh!

[Kim screaming]

Whoa!

She's smiling. I think she's into it.

Whoa!

- [Cloth tearing]
- Oh, no!

Rudy, are you sure
you're doing this right?

Yes.

Now her stomach is filling up with
air. Gently apply some pressure.

All: Oh!

A little too much pressure, Jack.

Oh, that's too much pressure!

[expl*si*n]

Hey!

You're a cute little fella, aren't you?

How you doing? I'm doing good.

[Hisses]

[Air whipping]

Guys guys.

The Judge from the Burgess Book of World
Records is gonna be here any minute.

Lucky for us, I've come
up with a foolproof plan.

Great! What is it?

I made this hand for you
out of a sledgehammer.

Looks perfectly natural. Now,
quick. Just slide it up your sleeve.

And no shaking hands. And whatever
you do, don't salute anyone.

You'll k*ll yourself.

This is gonna work, won't it?

Sure it'll work. It has to work.
Of course it's gonna work.

Somebody tell me it's gonna work.

- It'll work.
- Don't you lie to me.

I gotta get a backup.

Is this guy always like this?

Yeah. We call it "going all Rudy".

What is wrong with you people?

I bought a thousand boxes
of candy for us to sell.

We're doing the best we can, Rudy.

[Mocking sobbing]

[Groaning]

Fire choco-balls!

[Indistinct singing]

[Shrieking] Fire choco-balls!

Come on! Daddy needs his nuggets.

Come on!

[Shrieking]

[Groans]

What's up? How's it going?

Slap me some skin... all
right, all right. I feel you.

Jack, Jack. We heard what
happened. You're going to be okay.

Yeah. I bumped my head
once and I was fine.

Of course when I woke up I was in
Mexico married to a ferret farmer.

As an action hero,

I've been in hundreds of movies where I've
been kicked in the head countless times.

And I can say with complete authority...

I'm sorry, what was the question?

Please tell me these aren't my parents.

Nah, just good friends.

Who do you think you are?

I am...

Bobby Wasabi.

What's up, fresh meat?

I'm Norma.

[Snoring]

Ow. Ow. Stop poking me.

You can't act when you're asleep.

You can't act when you're awake!

[Gasps]

Yo, check it.

[Coughs]

What it do, girl?

Wow! Very nice form.

You're a fast learner.
You feel the burn?

Woo-wee! I feel it!

Hey! Look, my butt's
looking better already.

Karate-la-dee!

I'm in!

Have these delinquents clear
their stuff out of the dojo.

[Swallows sob]

And while this hurts
me, because... whoa!

I am going to miss you.

If you ever set foot
on these premises...

I will handcuff you to a water
pipe and use my nightstick to...

I think they get it, Joan.

- Bobby, welcome!
- I'm sorry, I...

Was hoping to slip in unnoticed.

There he is. That's Jack.

Guys, this is Winston Burgess from
the Burgess Book of World Records.

If we could just have
a little more time.

I don't have a lot of time. I gotta go
watch a woman not blink for hours.

I don't think I can do this, but
I don't wanna let you guys down.

I'm sorry, Katherine.

Again, it's Kim.

I don't care about this record.

I just want Jack back.

You know what?

I don't remember you
guys or this place, but...

From everything you've said...

We don't give up.

And I don't wanna start now.

I'm a wabooboo warrior!

Wasabi warrior.

Right. It's got a better ring to it.

[Whispers] Use this.

[Screaming]

[Murmurs]

- Jack...
- All: Wasabi!

Yeah!

[All cheering]

- Yeah!
- Yes!

Woo!

- Yeah!
- Yes, you did it!

Yeah!

I can't believe it. My memory's back.

I remember you and the dojo
and Milton and Rudy and Jerry.

You owe me bucks.

I'm Eddie.

- What?
- Congratulations, Jack.

You'll now be listed as
the official under- ,

world record holder for brick-breaking.

[Cheering]

Let's go to Falafel
Phil's and celebrate.

Falafel Phil's?

I believe that's the Restaurant
that holds the world record,

for largest roach infestation.

That's the place.

Jack, you did it.

- How do you feel?
- I feel great.

- Jack is back!
- We missed you.

Hey, I've got one question.

Do you remember anything that I had said
right before you fell and hit your head?

No. No, I don't. Why?

No reason. I'll see you over at Phil's.

Okay.

[Rock music playing]

♪ Hey!

♪ Come on!

♪ Kickin' it with you!

Well, I was hoping we could have
a day of cultural enlightenment.

Hey, lady! How do we get to
the dog toy museum hall of...

What?

When we sparred this
morning, did you let me win?

[Voice cracks] What?

[High-pitched] What?

What? What?

[Voice cracks] What?

[Laughing]

Out of my way, folks!
Lunch ladies first!

[Laughing]

We lost the Principal's baby!

It's not like losing... huh?

- I found it!
- You did? Nice.

It's not like losing some English
teacher's baby, man! This is big time!

We're doing the best we can.

[Mocking sobbing]

Yeah, that'd be great if your
job was to not sell candy bars!

[Laughing]