02x32 - Nugget of History

[bunniefuu]

That's why you
should never keep

a snapping turtle
in your back pocket.

That is the last time
I ask you what's new.

Hey, Mr. moseby, guess
where Zack got bit by a turtle.

I don't have time
for your turtle tales.

My grandmother's coming.

Well, that's
nice.

No, it's not. She's constantly
embarrassing me,

telling me that I
have to loosen up.

Me.

Yeah, 'cause you're
Mr. loosey-goosey.

Woman: Oh, Marion.

Grandma is here.
Ha ha ha!

Ooh, I see you, peanut!

Looks like someone
hasn't grown

since my last visit.

I love her. It's just that
we are nothing alike.

Hi, grandma.

Mwah! Ha ha!

Ok.

Boys, I want you
to meet my grandmother,

rose moseby.

Hi.
Nice to meet you.

Look at you. Nice to meet
you, young fellows.

Sweet as sugar.
Ha ha ha!

Uh! Mmm!

Isn't he a strapping
young gentleman?

Mm-hmm-mmm. You get
your looks from me.

You know that,
don't you, little peanut?

Come on. Give your Nana
some sugar.

Grandma, please!

Oh, Marion,
you need to relax.

It's just lipstick.

Now, you'd be used to it
if you had yourself a wife.

Yeah, it's hard
to believe

a catch like him
is still single.

That is funny!
Up top!

And then we get
a little uh! Ha ha!

Hey, maybe I
haven't married

because it could lead
to children.

Marion...Get.

Now, you leave
them alone.

All children are
sweet and wonderful,

except for him.
Ha ha ha!

Oh, but grandma
loved you anyway.

Come on. Give me
a little more sugar.

Mwah! Mwah!
I love kissing

that little
bald head.

♪ Here I am in your life ♪

♪ here you are
in mine ♪

♪ guess we have
a suite life ♪

♪ most of the time ♪

♪ you and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ it's you and me,
and me and you ♪

♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

♪ you and me, we got it
all for free ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ this is the suite life ♪

♪ we've got a suite life ♪

Maddie, I have
terrible news.

Daddy's making me
get a...

I can't even say it.

Really? Well, it must have
more than syllables.

No. This word only
has syllables--

a...Job.

You...Have to get a job?

Yes. Daddy says
it will give me

a sense of
"accomplishment"

and "pride"
and teach me

"the value
of a dollar."

I'm not even sure
what this...Is.

But I'm starting to think
it's an obscene gesture.

Well, I'd like to sympathize,
but I work jobs--

here and at
the cluck bucket.

I'm saving up
to buy a used car.

Does it come with
a used chauffeur?

You know what?
Your dad is right.

It'll be good
for you

to live off
the money you earn.

But I'll starve!
Daddy's so cheap,

he's only giving me
a thousand dollars

for every dollar
I make!

Oh, you poor thing.

My dad just installed
a pay toilet.

Maddie, please.
Some of us have real problems.

Mmm!

And so, in conclusion,

the 's was a decade
filled with fascinating firsts,

from the invention of
the bipolar junction transistor

to the--Zack!

True! False!
All of the above!

Sorry to wake you,
but it's almost time

for you to go to sleep
in French class.

Bonsoir.

[Bell rings]

Wait. What about
our homework assignment?

Oh, yes.
Thank you, Cody.

Each of you
must choose

a fascinating first
from the 's

and write a -page
paper on it.

And dismissed.

Think of a fascinating
first from the 's.

Like what?

Dibs on the introduction
of daylight savings time!

Just thinking about
this assignment

is giving me goosebumps.

Is that
what those are?

I thought those
were your biceps.

Coming right up.

Thank you so much for
promoting me, Mr. fliegel.

Frankly, wearing
the hilary hen costume

was kind of
embarrassing.

It's so much more dignified
to be working back here.

Now, working
the counter isn't easy.

Remember, you have to
b*at the timer.

If a customer
gets a free meal,

it comes out
of your pay.

Don't worry.

I won't let you down, sir.

Welcome to cluck bucket.

Would you like to try
our thigh cruncher?

You sell
exercise equipment?

London, what are
you doing here?

I was in the neighborhood
looking for a job,

but no one's hiring.

You're looking for a job?

Mm-hmm.

You can work here
if you'd like.

What?

You're going to hire her
without an interview?

You're right.

Can you say, "would you
like fries with that?"

Fries? I would never
eat something

so greasy
and disgusting.

Close enough.
You're hired.

Uh!

Yay me!

Hey, guys,
I shouldn't be long.

Rose and I are going
to the mall.

Yep. I'm ready to
shop till I drop!

No, I'm serious.

I have
a fainting problem.

If it happens,
I have

some smelling salts
in my purse.

Let me just
find them here.

There's some...
Oh, moisturizer.

Don't want to
get ashy.

Oh, let's see here.

Uh...Lunch. Mm-hmm.

Boys, while I'm gone,

I want you to do
your homework.

How?

No fascinating historical first
happened in the 's.

Horse feathers!

The 's
were captivating.

Take it from someone
who was there,

like me and your
mama here.

Me? Got something
to clean

your glasses with
in there?

Of course I do.
There you go.

Oh, why don't you write about
the black sailor, Hugh mulzac?

Oh, ok. Now, in ,
Hugh mulzac earned

his captain's stripes
in the merchant marines.

But all they offered him
was command

of a ship
with an all-black crew.

Cool.

Not cool. She's talking
about segregation.

Correct. Now, Hugh didn't
think that was right.

So he turned
them down.

years later,

the Navy built
the "s.S. Booker t. Washington."

You keep an anchor
in your purse?

It's my keychain.

Oh.

Oh!

In ,

captain Hugh mulzac
finally took command

of the m*llitary's first
integrated crew.

Now, how is that for
a fascinating historical first?

Fascinating!
Where'd you read it?

Read it?
Boy, I lived it.

I was a dancer
in the u.S.O.,

performing at
the ship's sendoff.

[Music playing]

Ooh! Look. Just like that.

Ah!

Look at that.

Shake it. Shake it. Shake it.
Then we go like this.

Ooh. Oh, yeah, girl.
Yeah. Whoa!

Don't break nothing,
girl! Whoo!

Whoo! You save it
till we go clubbing.

Whoo. Yes.

[Music stops]

Oh, I stood
on that dock,

and I waved
to Hugh and his crew

as the tickertape flew.
Ha ha ha!

Whee-hee-hee-hee!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

You know, I'd like a guy
who won't be dissed.

I'm definitely writing
about Hugh mulzac.

Now, if you have
any questions,

please feel free
to ask me.

Mm-hmm?
I have one.

You got a vacuum
cleaner in that purse?

"You got a vacuum
cleaner in that..."

Try that on for size.

[Vacuum cleaner whirring]

[Bell dings]

Ok. That means there's
a car at the drive-thru.

Use this script
to take their order.

Ok.

"Welcome to cluck bucket.
May I take your order?

Take finger
off talk button."

Oh.

[Static]

Huh?

They said they'd like
a cluck-muncher meal.

Push this button.
Use the script!

"Will there be
anything else?

Suggest whatever
is getting cold."

Oh.

[Tires screeching]

Good job, London.
They left.

Thank you. Cluck again.

Ok. So the drive-thru
is not for everyone.

Let me show you how to
make a cluck-muncher.

Okey-dokey, boss.

It's really easy,

but has to be done
in the right order.

First you take
a toasted sesame bun

and a smidge
of honey mustard,

one supple
chicken breast,

slices of tomato,
sour-pickle disks,

a mound
of shredded lettuce,

and squirt of
pepper herb sauce.

Huh?

It's easy...

If you use this little
trick I made up--

the s's.

Sesame, smidge, supple,
slices, sour, shredded, squirt.

Use it? I can't
even say it.

Just try.

Ok. [Sighs]

Sausage, soup,
slettuce--

slettuce?

That's not
even a word.

Uh!

Sesame, smidge, supple,
slices, sour, shredded, squirt!

Oh, stop
saying that!

Ok. Sesame, something,
something...Oh!

How about one "s"?

Salad!

Ok, this is the simplest job
in the whole place.

Just stand there
and cluck.

Do you think
you could do that?

Mm-hmm. Quack, quack.
Quack, quack.

Forget it.
You're hopeless.

I'm sorry. Please.

I need this job.

Without it,
I'll be poor

and have to eat
at dumps like this.

Fine. Just stand
by the door

and keep
your beak shut.

Oh. Wow.

Tell me about it.

Welcome
to cluck bucket.

Would you like to try
our wing-a-ding dinner?

Uh, no. I'd like
a half-chicken.

The left half,
but take off the skin;

coleslaw, but pick out
the carrot bits,

and a root beer,
stir out the bubbles.

[Ding]
Go!

Hey, maddie,
check it out.

I gave hilary hen
a makeover.

She's a hot chick
now. Get it? Chick.

London, you
can't do that!

The employee manual
clearly states that--

[alarms ringing]

Yes!

Free! Free!

Free!

This is your fault!

If you're not
going to try,

I am not going
to help you!

Maddie, that is not

how flock members
speak to each other.

If you're not going to be
a team player...

Then you're not ready
to work the counter.

[Whines]

I can't wait to get
my report back.

Oh, man, I've never
seen you so excited

about your homework
before.

Well, you see, the more I
learned about Hugh mulzac,

the more into it
I got.

I just hope Mr. dwosh
doesn't notice

I cheated the margins
a little to get it

all to fit
on only pages.

I've never felt
closer to you.

[Bell rings]

Good morning, class.
I've graded your papers.

Cody, you don't have to
take notes on this.

Oh, I know.

"Don't have to
take notes on this."

Cody, excellent,
as usual.

Zack.

A "d"?

Now let's dive
into the 's,

the decade
of rock-and-roll...

[Cheering]

And radial tires!

[Groaning]

Uh...Mr. Dwosh,
I don't understand.

I mean, I thought I did a really
good job on this report,

and look, it's
not even written

on a cafeteria napkin
this time.

Yes, it's refreshingly
devoid of pudding stains...

But also devoid
of accuracy,

starting with
that first sentence.

"The first time
an integrated crew

"served under
a black captain

was in when Roosevelt
was president."

Except that the Navy
wasn't desegregated

until , when Truman
was president.

It's in your textbook,

that thing you use
as a pillow.

Yeah, but, you see, I'm not
talking about the Navy.

I'm talking about
the merchant marine,

which during wartime, was under
control of the m*llitary.

And the book doesn't even
mention Hugh mulzac.

Hugh mulzac? Is that
like the name

you added to my attendance
sheet--Hugh jabutt?

Ha ha. Yeah, man.
Right?

Ha ha...No.

Hugh mulzac
was real,

and I don't
deserve a "d."

Well, perhaps I should
invent a new grade for you.

Maybe a "z" for all the times
you've snored in my class.

Don't take it
personally.

I sleep in all
the boring classes.

In that case, why don't
I give you a d-plus?

Well, I guess that's
a little better.

As in a "d" plus
a week of detention.

Bawk.

Welcome to cluck bucket.

Try our egg-citing new
cluck-muncher salad.

Bawk.

Hey, hilary...

Why'd the chicken
cross the road?

Why?

She didn't.

She stayed here
while her boss

went out
for a shiatsu.

You're getting a massage
in the middle of the day?

We're not busy, and
London is doing fine.

Here we go.

One whole chicken
cluck bucket

and a kiddie
cluck truck.

[Honk honk]

[Ding] Maddie, I don't know
why you're always complaining

about having to work.
It's easy.

Except right after
a football game ends.

Hmm?

[Loud voices]

Help...Me...Please!

Sorry.

My wings are tied.

I don't know if this
is such a good idea.

I already have
a week of detention.

I don't want to go
for a month.

Well, Hugh mulzac had
years of detention,

working as a cook

when he should have
been a captain.

Why?

Because
he wasn't afraid

to stand up
to the man!

You know what?
You're right.

And I'm not
afraid either.

Mr. dwosh: No humming
in the hallway.

He's coming! Quick,
hide me in your purse!

Look! Look! Look!

Come on, child.

Go be brave, son.

[Exhales deeply]

Zack, you're here
early for detention.

I know you said
my paper was wrong,

but I brought proof--
living, breathing proof.

[Snoring]

Well, she was living
and breathing when we got here.

Grandma moseby?
Grandma moseby.

Hmm?

Oh! What? What?
What? What? Ooh!

Whoa!

Why am I wearing
a wooden skirt?

I make it work, though,
don't I? Uh, uh.

Uh, uh. Uh, uh.
Shake it. Shake it.

Shake it. Shake it.
Ooh. Ok.

Zack: Rose moseby...

This is my history
teacher, Mr. dwosh.

Ooh. Char...

Wait a minute.

You're the nitwit who's never
heard of Hugh mulzac.

Ow!

Don't talk back
to grandma!

Stop it!

I will stop it
when you admit

that you were wrong
about Hugh mulzac.

He was real.
Trust me. I know.

I was there.

Well, I'd like to take
your word for it,

but to be honest,
you seem a bit batty.

I'm batty?
I'm batty?

You want to know
what's batty?

This bat is batty!

I'm coming to get you.

Wow!

This bat is signed
by Jackie Robinson!

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He was sweet on me.
Mmm. Jackie.

[Chuckling]

See, I like
to carry around

a few mementos
from my life.

That's it.

Got it. I got it.

I have something
the night

the "booker Washington"
was launched.

You better not have
the ship in there.

Oh, pish posh.
Ha ha ha!

Oh, you know what?

I left it
in my other purse.

Oh, what a pity.
In that case--

here it is.

Ok. There.
Oh, look at that.

Hmm? Hmm?

Captain
Hugh mulzac.

Wow.

And that's an integrated
crew saluting him.

And look
at the date--

September ,
.

Ok?

Well, I guess
the textbook was wrong.

Well, not just
the textbook.

I think you owe
somebody an apology.

I'm sorry
I called you batty.

Uh! Not me.

This little slice
of sponge cake right here.

Zack, I'm sorry I didn't
give you a fair shake.

I'm going to regrade
your paper.

And?

And you don't have to
serve detention.

And?

What? What else?

Well, I don't know.
I was just gonna see

what else
you offered up.

Don't sass your teacher.

Ow!

Don't laugh
at his pain.

And you.
Watch it now.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
I could do this all night.

You better watch out.

[Loud voices]

Excuse me. Excuse me!

But I think these fries
are a little underdone.

I'll be right with you.

[Horn honking]

I heard you
the first time! Here!

[Alarms ringing]

That means my chicken
is free!

Yeah! Fine!
Take them!

Take them all!
Whoa!

Oh, I got them!

Uh! I have chicken fingers!

Please, maddie.
Please help me.

If I get fired,

daddy's going to
cut me off, remember?

Yeah, I remember.
But this time,

I'm not
bailing you out,

no matter
what you say.

I'll give you the down payment
for that used car you wanted.

Hilary hen to the rescue!
♪ bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk ♪

[Loud voices]

Back! Back!

Oh!

Now form
a single-file line!

I just want a--

back in line,

or you'll be eating
the pepper sauce.

That's what I
wanted--more sauce.

Oh...Ok.

[Blows]

Wow! You are
really good at this.

London, I have a little
something called "experience."

Since I was years old,

I have been working
my tail off.

Mommy! Mommy! What's happening
to hilary hen?

Maddie,
your feathers

must have got
into the fryer!

Aah! Aah! Get
the fire extinguisher

and put out
the tail! Aah!

Oh!

What is happening here?

Hi, Mr. fliegel.

You're not supposed to wear
that costume in the kitchen.

It's highly flammable!

Well, that seems like
a poor design choice,

don't you think?

That's it!
You're fired!

No! No!
I'm begging you!

Please! I need
this job!

Maddie, have
some dignity.

You're
fired, too.

No!

My daddy
will cut me off!

Please!
I'm begging you!

I'm on my knees.
I'm on my nose.

These floors
are really filthy.

London, don't beg.

We're better than that.

Let's walk out of here
with some dignity.

Huh!

Ooh!

[Thud]

Order whatever
you want, honey.

It's not every day we get to
celebrate an a-plus.

[Ahem]

From Zack.

I just can't believe
he did better than me.

Well, I did. See?

Ha ha ha. Yeah.

Oh, you got it
framed...Nerd.

Hey, guys, what would you like?
It's on the house.

Well, thanks,
but won't you

get in trouble
with the owner?

Nope. It's fine
with me.

London, you own
the cluck bucket?

I do now. I bought it
with the money I earned here.

$ , an hour
doesn't seem like much,

but after a while,
it starts to add up.

Wow! Can I get
a job here?

Sorry. None available.
Daddy was going to cut me off,

but by buying
the cluck bucket,

I was able to hire
myself as manager,

give maddie her job back,
and best of all,

check out hilary hen.

Can I please change my name
to Ronnie rooster?