Hey, arwin,
break out your chainsaw.
I need help carving
my zack-o-lantern.
At least when you stick
a candle in his head,
He'll be bright.
[laughs]
Hey, wait a minute.
I wonder where arwin is.
Hey, he got
a brand-new picture of mom.
Whoa!
Yeah, you're right.
Her make-up's all wrong.
She's a winter,
and she needs to embrace it.
Zack?
Zack?
Where are you?
Zack: I'm behind
the bookcase.
It won't budge.
Wait, mom's picture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know, she's a winter.
Get me out of here now.
No, I think
the bookcase opened
When I picked it up.
Ow.
Zack?
Zack?
Where are you?
Right here.
So, books never hurt
anyone, huh?
Wow.
A secret room!
Aah!
Well, apparently
the spiders know
about it.
Ooh, what's behind
that secret door?
Uh.
Hoo hoo.
Zack, I know reading
isn't your strong point,
But that sign says
"danger. Keep out."
What's the worst that
could be in there?
It's probably just
a teeny tiny mouse.
[growling]
With a nasty chest cold.
Well, maybe he needs
some vitamin c.
[breathing heavily]
Aah!
What a baby.
Well, I think my baby brother
put it best when he said--
Aah!
♪here I am in your life ♪
♪here you are in mine ♪
♪yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪most of the time ♪
♪you and me,
we got the world to see ♪
♪so come on down ♪
♪just me and you
know what to do ♪
♪so come on down ♪
♪it's you and me
and me and you ♪
♪we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪
♪you and me,
we got it all for free ♪
♪so come on down ♪
♪this is the suite life ♪
♪we've got a suite life ♪
Hear me, hear me.
I have an announcement
that will make
your humdrum lives
A little less humdrumier.
I'm having a Halloween party,
And I want all of you
to be there.
Ohh!
Serving food and drinks
to my friends.
Oh, oh! I cannot think
of anything better to do.
But I'm gonna spend
the night trying.
You know,
I'd love to,
But I'm taking my fish
trick or treating.
He's dressing up
a
There's going to beust don
a costume contest,
And the winner
gets diamonds.
Whoo!
I'm there!
Oh, I can't believe
I'm gonna miss
london's Halloween party
To visit mother.
Last year I had a costume
That scared the bejeebies
out of the entire staff.
Oh, yeah?
What did you go as?
You!
Dun-dun-dun!
I had a tiny little suit
and a tiny little nametag.
Oh, and I got down
on my tiny little knees.
I was like, "esteban,
pick up that luggage. Ding!
"arwin, fix that
radiator. Ding!
Boys, stop having fun."
Ding.
Maybe next year
you can go as an unemployed
hotel engineer.
Ding.
Arwin!
There's something
in the basement
in your secret room.
I don't know anything
about a secret room.
The one behind
the bookcase.
I don't know anything
about a bookcase.
Arwin?
I don't know any arwin.
Ok, come here.
Listen, whatever you do,
Do not go beyond
the creepy gate
Insithat I knowpy room
behinothing about.
Bu--
da-da-da!
It's a matter of life...
And death.
Have a nice day.
Don't step on that!
Don't...Step on that.
Why you wearing
a bike helmet?
'cause mom says always
to wear it
When we do something
dangerous.
That thing could be
an alligator
That crawled in
from the sewers.
Alligators can't
peel oranges.
Maybe it's a monkey.
Or...Maybe it's both.
Maybe it's a monkey-gator.
Or an alligonkey.
Right.
Like in fifth grade
when you swore you saw
a vamp-poodle.
Well, let's open it up
and see.
Ok, it's one of
these two.
I still think
we shouldn't disturb it.
Especially this close
to lunch.
We're not going to
disturb it.
We're gonna catch it,
Teach it how
to skateboard,
Sell tickets,
and make a fortune.
Are you sure this trap
is going to work?
Positive.
This is a cherokee
trigger snare.
Guaranteed to catch any
simple-minded creature
That comes close to it.
We can only hope
the alligonkey
Is as simple-minded
as you are.
Get me out
of this thing.
Ok. Well, you got
to stop struggling,
And maybe--
I'm trying to.
I--the key is caught,
the key is caught.
Oh, that's why.
Ok, well, if you'd
stop struggling--
I'm trying
not to struggle,
But it doesn't work.
A key caught
is a key caught.
No, it's not caught.
Thanks.
I didn't do anything.
[growling]
Cody?
Did you just growl?
No.
Did you?
Uh-uh.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Stuck.
[both panting]
Well, at least it wasn't
an alligonkey.
Oh, miss london.
Which of these
do you think is
the scariest?
The one in the middle.
Have you ever heard
of moisturizer?
Miss london,
What is the scariest thing
you've ever seen?
Portia tenenbaum
without makeup.
London, about
the costume contest--
Sorry, the only way
to win my contest
Is to have a great costume.
Just be creative.
[gasps]
Like carey, the hopelessly
haggard housewife.
Great costume.
I just went out
for a jog.
Why would you jog
in your costume?
Both: Help! Help!
Help! Help!
We're saved.
Unless it's
the monster.
We're doomed.
Man: Aah!
Push harder.
Arwin: Guys, it's me.
Oh.
Whoa!
Uhh.
Who said books never
hurt anybody?
Arwin, what are
you doing here?
Well, there are
theories.
One is evolution.
The other--
No, we mean here
in the basement.
Oh, well, I came back
from mother's early
Because I thought you
two would try to see
what's behind--
Oh! The open gate!
Oh, no!
Who opened the gate?
Why did you two
come down here
After I told you
not to?
Well, we thought
you might have
an alligonkey back there.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
I tried that once
and it ate itself.
Whatever it was,
it kind of
looked like you.
It all started
on a Tuesday.
No, you know what,
it was a Monday.
No, it was a--
you know what it was?
I think it was
a long weekend,
So it was a Tuesday
that felt--
Both: Arwin!
It was early in the week.
You mean to tell us
That that thing
that we saw
Was actually a robot?
And you built it
from scratch?
Well, I don't know
if you'd call it scratch.
I got a kit out of
a cereal box.
To construct my creation,
I used the latest
in robotic technology.
[machine whirs]
Ha ha!
[humming]
[timer dings]
Here we go, big guy.
[grunts]
Ha ha!
[beeping]
Yah!
Wrong switch.
Oh!
[electricity zapping]
Yes!
He's moving.
He's moving.
Or we're having
an earthquake.
No, no, no,
he's moving.
He's moving!
[beeping]
He's alive!
He's alive!
He's alive!
He's walking.
He's walk--oh!
You know what,
my fault.
I forgot,
finishing touch.
Come here.
Come here.
[groans]
come on,
come here.
Come here,
come here, big guy.
Here you go. Wait.
Hold on, hold on.
Ready? Ready?
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Oh. Huh? Huh?
Yeah.
[growls]
Yeah.
Ahh!
Yeah. Ok. Ok.
What?
Oh, you want
a little toast?
Aah!
Or a toaster.
That's fine.
Lots of iron.
Ok, good boy.
Ok, ok. Aah!
Aah-aah!
No light bulbs
until you finish
your toaster.
[whines]
Well, life isn't fair.
Gah! Aah!
Do you want a timeout?
Goh.
I was so proud
of my little arwinstein.
Ahh, but unfortunately,
I couldn't work out
all the kinks.
Kinks?
What kinks?
Oh, pssh.
Nothing major.
He has a lurch
when he walks.
One of his ears
is a little crooked.
And occasionally
he goes into
an unstoppable rampage
And destroys everything
in his path.
Occasionally?
Only when he sees bright
flashes of light.
And broccoli.
I feel the soh, for me it's
brussels sprouts.
Hey, hey. Can we return
to this episode
Of my least favorite
vegetable
After we capture
the monster
That's somewhere
in the hotel?
You're right,
you're right.
But don't even get
me started on kale.
Whoo! We'll be here
all night.
Monster!
Right. Let's go.
[screams]
Oh!
Aah!
Aah!
Oh, it's you, arwin.
Good costume.
Aah!
You're welcome.
Arwin, back from
your mother's.
How was it?
Arr!
Oh, you've said
a mouthful.
That's how I feel
after I visit my mother.
[growls]
arwin, what are you doing?
That's my pen.
Hey, arwin.
There you are.
Arr!
Arr we here to tell
you that the pipes
need fixing?
Yes, we arr.
Arr!
Ok.
[whispering]
ok, let's go.
[clang]
How we gonna move him?
I got an idea.
He loves oranges.
Oh, you're right.
Come on, boy.
Ahh! Ahh!
He's right.
That's a tangelo,
An aromatic hybrid
of a tangerine
and a pomelo.
And you're a nork--
An annoying hybrid
of a nerd and a dork.
Ha ha ha!
You see,
he agrees with me.
Come on, boy.
Ahh.
Ahh!
This robot is amazing.
The attention
to details,
The elaborate
circuitry,
The cybernetic
matrix.
Zack: He's eating a flower.
Let's see if
we can access his
verbal subroutines.
Huh?
Get him to talk.
Oh.
Oh.
[clears throat]
say "cody."
Arr!
Let me give it a sh*t.
What letter comes
after "q"?
Arr!
You see, you were
just asking him
all the wrong questions.
Now, forget talking.
Let's teach him how
to sing and dance
You are not going
so wto put arwinstein
someon display.Of hi
You know, you got
to treat him with
some dignity.
[soda hisses]
Hey, guys.
[gasps]
Mom.
Uh, we didn't know
you were home.
Oh, yeah. I'm here working
on my Halloween costume.
What do you think?
I'm static cling.
Ahh.
Uh-ah.
[growls]
Thank you.
Hey, guys,
london invited you
to the party, too.
Why aren't you putting on
your costumes?
Uh, we're
wearing them.
Mr. Moseby says
we're scary
enough as it is.
I better keep
working on me.
It stinks.
Especially compared
to yours, arwin.
I need a picture of this.
Boys: Uh, no.
Aah!
[growls]
[crash]
Somebody doesn't like
having his picture taken.
[dance music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
Daah!
Aah!
Ha ha ha.
[gasps]
hey, carey.
When are you gonna put on
your costume?
Right after
I grab a snack.
'kay.
'kay.
So much for winning
the costume contest.
Great costume, moseby.
What are you?
Well, I'm the bottom
half of a horse.
My head's home
with a head cold.
Now I'm just
a horse's--
Never mind.
What a pretty
princess costume.
Oh, it's not a costume.
It came with
the country I bought.
[gasps] wanna be
my prime minister?
Ok.
Ding!
Dingbat.
Hey.
Hey!
Can you hand me
some candy?
Some candy?
[chuckles]
all right, but it'll
go right through you.
I'll handle
the jokes.
What do you mean,
that didn't tickle
your funny bone?
Seriously,
you're annoying me.
Ok.
Hear me, hear me.
It is time to start
the costume contest.
Dazzle me
people and creatures.
Line up over here.
[indistinct chatter]
Stop it!
[scoffs]
real original, esteban.
Abraham lincoln?
Next!
I am the mighty
lobster.
I'm allergic to you.
Next!
I am corn.
Hello, corn.
And what are you
dressed as today?
Uh...Corn.
With no butter?
[scoffs]
next!
Aah!
Aah!
[indistinct chatter]
Whoo!
Ahh.
Aah!
Ahh, yeah,
know what you mean.
I hate broccoli, too.
If I eat one piece
of that candy,
This dress will pop
right open.
Aah!
Clich?
Using your own warts?
That's cheating.
Next!
Arwin, you're gonna miss
the costume contest.
Ahh.
Oh, don't be shy.
You look great.
It'll be fun.
Ahh.
Aah!
Aah!
Great costume, arwin.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
[giggles]
Ok, we have to find
that monster.
We're never going
to find him.
Found him.
Ooh, shiny.
I like it.
Aah!
London: And the winner
of the costume contest is...
Arwin!
[applause]
Oh, well.
Always a zombie bridesmaid,
Never a zombie bride.
Congratulations, arwin.
Thank you.
Wait, if you're here,
then who's that?
Ok, it's time to get
a picture with
our contest winner.
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no!
Not a picture!
Aah! Aah!
[crowd screaming]
[growling]
[screaming]
You mean I was talking
to a real monster?
No, no, no, no.
He's not a monster.
He's a robot.
[growls]
aah!
That sounds a lot
like a monster.
I'll stop him!
[growls]
Aah!
[thud]
Carey, run!
[growls]
Like this! Aah!
Mr. Moseby!
[growls]
Aah!
[growling]
aah!
Well, on
the bright side, mom,
Someone finally swept you
off your feet.
Everybody, after
the monster!
Now...
Technically,
not a monster.
Robot.
Very monsterish robot.
[growls]
[groaning]
I know, I know.
I gained a few pounds.
I go jogging every day.
Ahh?
Would you believe
times a week?
Ahh?
Ok, I went yesterday.
Are you all right?
You want me to get you
a glass of water?
Or motor oil?
Ahh!
Ok.
Ahh! There he is.
Get him! Get him!
[crowd shouting]
Stop it!
No!
I'm telling you,
he's harmless.
It's true, he's
really sweet.
He ate carey!
I'm right here.
And apparently
she didn't agree with him.
Man: Get him!
Arwin: No, no, no!
No, no!
Leave him alone!
Can't you see
he's just afraid?
He may not be human,
but he still has feelings.
Wow. This from a guy
who wanted to turn him
Into a sideshow freak?
Well, I was wrong, ok?
Underneath all those
nuts and bolts
There's a wonderful,
warm heart.
Actually,
it's a coffee maker.
Uh, but lovely thought.
Keep going.
He may not have hurt
carey this time,
But I can't have him
running around my hotel
causing havoc.
I have you two for that.
Arwin, dismantle him
immediately.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Aah!
No, you can't.
No, boys, mr. Moseby
may be right.
I think maybe
my little arwinstein
Has too many glitches.
[whines]
Dadda.
He said
his first word.
Actually, his first word
was "arr."
But still, aw.
Aw. Son,
I can't dismantle you.
I mean, everybody
has glitches, right?
So, can we keep him,
mr. Moseby?
Yeah,
can we?
Well...
Arwinstein: Fr...
Fr...Fr...
Friend.
Aw, he likes you.
Oh. All right,
the big lugnut can stay.
[all cheering]
Just until we find
another home for him.
Ha ha ha!
Arwin!
Start making calls! Now!
I'm on it. Whoa.
Ha ha ha!
[rap music playing]
Wow, arwinstein is
really good at doing
the robot.
That's because
he is a robot.
Oh, right.
Ha ha.
Hey, great news.
Mother wants
arwinstein to come
stay with her.
Aah!
No, no, no, no.
You'll love her.
She's got the cutest
little refrigerator.
[whistles]
Heh, you two are gonna
get along great.
[growls]
Well, I'm gonna miss you,
big guy.
[clang]
Ow!
[clang]
ow.
[clang]
[growls]
03x12 - Arwinstein
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Comedy centered around twin brothers Zack & Cody living at the Tipton Hotel with their single mother who is a lounge singer.
Comedy centered around twin brothers Zack & Cody living at the Tipton Hotel with their single mother who is a lounge singer.