06x25 - A Baby in the House

[bunniefuu]

[Whistling]

an african animal, legs,

letters, that starts with a "g."

A gnu.

Maybe. Let's see.

Hmm... Yep.

What's next?

City in new york, letters.

Buffalo.

That doesn't have the right number of letters.

I used to know a lady who lived in buffalo.

I corresponded with her for years.

Yeah, but buffalo's got letters.

What's it start with, pa?

I don't know, but the fifth letter is an "n."

"N."

I don't know why they make those things so difficult.

Albany!

Hey, yeah, maybe that's it, ope.

Wonderful, ope. Good. Yeah, good.

[Telephone ringing]

[clearing throat] I'll get it.

H-hello?

Yeah... Yeah, sarah.

Well, yeah, she's right here.

Aunt bee, it's long distance for you from jacksonville.

Jacksonville? Oh, that's my niece martha. Yeah.

Oh, I hope there isn't anything wrong.

Hello, martha, are you all right?

Is everything all right?

[Sighing] oh, good, good. Everything's all right.

Oh, good.

Ooh! Isn't that nice.

They're going up to new jersey for her sister's wedding. Huh.

That's my second cousin.

Are you gonna take the baby with you?

Oh.

Oh, j-just a minute. I wanna speak to andy.

She wants to know if she can leave the baby with us for a few days.

Leave the baby with us?

Oh, how exciting. How old is it?

Evie-joy should be about months.

Oh, that's a... That's a little...

[Stuttering] no, that's too... That's too little.

How big was i, pa? Oh...

Andy, she's waiting.

Well, tell her no.

Oh, uh, martha, would you just wait a minute?

Andy's so overcome, he's speechless.

Don't tell her that.

But we can't turn her down.

Oh, aunt bee, a baby that small takes a lot of care.

Now, who's gonna do it?

And they cry... Did I cry, pa?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I could do it, andy.

I have a way with babies. They love me.

Oh, andy, I'll help out.

No! Oh, andy.

Just a minute, martha. Andy's so, uh, overjoyed

he had to go get a drink of water.

Could you hold on for just a minute?

We can't let them down.

[Groaning] besides, I could never face martha again.

It wouldn't be any trouble.

It'd be lots of fun. I'd love to.

[Mumbling] oh, let her do it, andy.

Well, you'd have to do the whole thing, aunt bee.

You wouldn't even know the baby was in the house. Oh, yeah, sure.

Andy says "wonderful."

Oh, he's in th heaven.

Well, when should we expect you?

Fine, fine.

All righty. All our love. Bye.

It's all settled.

We're going to have the baby for a whole week.

They're coming on sunday.

Now, remember what I said.

You're going to have to handle the whole thing.

Oh, andy, I'm just so excited.

I just can't wait to see the baby.

Just imagine, a baby in the house. Yeah.

Oh, andy, you're not gonna have to do a thing.

You'll be just delighted.

Will you quit dusting? The baby isn't here yet.

Andy, it's important.

Some babies are allergic to dust.

Oh. Says so right in the book.

What book's that?

Dr. Walker's.

It's entitled: {\i }from the cradle{\i } {\i }to junior college,{\i }

and sold over , copies.

Oh.

Hey, andy. Hey, aunt bee.

Oh. Oh, hello, goober. Oh, hi, goob.

Opie let me in. Oh.

I brung over some of my old toys.

I've kept these ever since I was a little kid.

Thought the baby might like 'em.

Oh, that's very sweet of you, goober.

See? Lookie here.

A checkerboard?

Yeah, of course I know a baby can't play checkers,

but if you set 'em up, they get a big kick

out of knocking the board over.

Oh. Yeah, I guess they do.

And look at this.

It's an old cigar box.

Mama said I used to open and close it by the hour.

I guess I kept thinkin' there was something in there. My.

Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

And then there's this.

Your old teddy bear.

My favorite toy.

Mama said I wouldn't go to sleep

unless he was on the pillow next to me.

Oh, isn't that sweet.

His name's buster.

I gave him that name when I got old enough to talk.

I guess this baby don't talk yet.

No, she's just months old.

Well, it'll take a while yet.

Mama said I didn't talk till I was years old.

?

[Laughing] I guess I didn't have anything to say.

[Chuckling]

well, I gotta be going.

Well...

Well... Well, thank you, goob. Thank you very much, goober.

Good-bye goober. Good-bye. I'll see you.

Oh, that was sweet of him. Yeah.

There's buster.

(Bee) oh, what a darling baby.

[Chuckling] isn't she a doll?

Andy, did you ever see such a beautiful baby?

No, I guess not.

Absolutely precious. Hmm.

Well, opie, what do you think of your little cousin?

She's ok.

Who do you think she looks like?

Well, most people say she looks like darryl.

Well, I guess.

Martha.

I think the baby should be put to bed right away.

It's been a long trip, a long trip.

Darryl, she slept all the way.

It wasn't a restful sleep.

Well, in a moment, darryl.

Is there anything special I should know about, martha?

Not really. She's such a good baby.

Almost never cries.

You hear that, andy? Yeah, that's good.

You'll find her formula in the bag and everything you need.

Just make sure it's warm. Not hot, just warm.

And feedings a day.

: , : , : , And : .

I know.

And she should be held when she's fed.

That's very important, very important.

Opie, would you like to hold the baby?

Ok. Oh!

Uh, well, uh...

There we are.

Uh, gently, opie, gently.

And hold her under the neck.

The neck.

[Cooing]

she seems to like you, opie.

Yeah, I think she does.

Well, I think I'd better take her now, opie.

Ok.

[Baby crying]

oh.

Well, maybe she's hungry.

Yes, that's it. Maybe she's hungry. Huh.

She sure got hungry sudden.

[Baby crying] she just had a bottle in the car.

Well, maybe it's traveling.

Traveling always makes me hungry.

H-here, you take the baby, andy,

and I'll warm the bottle. Ok.

[Chuckling]

[baby cooing]

hey, she stopped crying.

Yes, that's strange, all of a sudden.

Well, probably something was sticking her.

And, yeah, that's probably it.

Well, come on, martha. We'd better get going.

Yes. Well, now, don't you worry, martha...

Yeah, well, have a good trip.

And we'll be at grace's in jersey city yes, yes, right.

In case of an emergency. Yes, I have the address.

Now, remember now. : ...

[All repeating together] : , : , and : .

(Bee) yes, now, don't you worry one minute, darryl. Bye.

Have a good trip. Have a good trip.

(Martha) bye. Good-bye, martha.

All set? Mmm-hmm, I think so.

Yeah, well, she must be tired after that long trip.

Do you want me to put her in? No, no, I'll do it.

There we are.

[Baby crying]

she's crying.

Andy, what did you do to her?

I didn't do anything to her.

Oh, maybe she needs to be changed.

Here, you take her.

She stopped crying.

Well, maybe she's just a little confused

in her new surroundings.

Yes, that's probably it.

That's... Probably it.

Hmm.

[Murmuring soothingly]

[baby gurgling]

oh. Oh, you're happy now.

Oh, isn't that nice.

[Gurgling]

would you like to come to your aunt bee?

[Baby laughing]

oh, of course, you would.

Here we are.

[Crying loudly]

[baby gurgling]

[baby cooing]

[baby laughing]

[cooing]

[whistling]

[crying]

oh, my.

Oh, my. Oh, my.

[Doorbell ringing]

hi. I just came by to see how everything's going.

Aunt bee, are you crying?

No, no, of course I'm not cr... Helen, I'm not crying.

Why should I be crying?

Everything's fine. The baby's fine and...

I'm fine.

Oh, helen, I have to tell somebody.

Well, what is it?

The baby hates me, helen. She just hates me.

What? Every time I pick her up, she cries.

Everybody else can pick her up.

She hates me, helen. She hates me.

Oh, what am I going to do for the next days, helen?

♪ [Humming]

[crickets chirping]

she's asleep.

Sound asleep.

So peaceful.

Think you better take her upstairs.

Helen, why don't you take her up?

You haven't had a chance to hold her yet.

Oh, yes. I've been looking forward to it.

Oh.

Oh, my. She's such a good baby.

Yeah. She seems to be.

[Telephone ringing]

I'll get it.

[Muttering] here, I'll just put it there.

Hello.

Yeah, yeah, hi.

I'll take her on upstairs. All right, helen.

[Groaning] they did?

Oh, for heaven's sake. Yeah.

Well, I'll get up there as quick as I can.

Right, yeah, bye.

What is it, andy?

(Andy) oh...

The darlings are having another family fight.

Oh, my. Yeah. It must be a bad one, too.

One of their neighbors saw their washing machine

go out through the kitchen window. Oh, no.

Well, I better get up there

and see what I can do.

Tell helen I've gone, will you?

Now, you take care, andy.

I will. I'll be back as soon as I can.

Oh, andy. Hi.

Pa. Oh, you look exhausted.

Well, you stay up all night

with the darling family, you'd be exhausted, too.

How come you had to stay up with them all night?

[Sighing]

to keep them from k*lling one another.

Every time I thought I had 'em quieted down,

they'd start up again,

just fight, fight, fight, fight.

Fight with everything that was loose.

What were they fighting about?

Christmas. Christmas?

Yeah.

Jedd told carl there was no santa claus,

and carl got mad and then they all started fightin'.

Oh, well... I'll get you some breakfast.

I'm too tired to eat.

I think I'll just go up and see if I can get a little sleep.

I hope everything's gonna be quiet.

Hmm? What do you mean?

The baby.

And don't let her start cryin' or anything.

[Sighing]

wake me up about : , will you?

Mmm-hmm.

What's the matter, aunt bee?

Hmm? What?

You look worried about somethin'.

Oh, no. No, I'm not worried.

Why should I be worried?

Well, I better get goin'.

Oh, just a minute.

Opie, do you have to go right away?

Yeah. I gotta stop by for pete.

Well, I was wondering. Would you like to give evie-joy her bottle?

You mean now?

I can't now, aunt bee. I'll be late.

Oh, well, everybody's late once in a while.

I could write you a note.

But we have gym first period, and I don't wanna miss it.

Oh, opie, a big, strong boy like you,

you can overwork your muscles, you know.

Well... Gee, aunt bee, I wanna be there.

Oh, all right. Go along.

Bye.

[Baby crying]

[door closing]

(andy) aunt bee? Aunt bee?

Yes, andy?

[Baby crying]

evie-joy is whining.

Oh, it's nothing, andy.

She's expecting a bottle. It's her feeding time, you know.

Well, do somethin'. Make her quit.

I got to get to sleep.

Well, don't worry, andy. I'm heating the bottle right now.

Oh. Ok.

Hello, sarah?

Would you get me goober at the filling station?

Oh, yes. The baby's fine.

[Baby continues crying]

hello, goober?

Goober, I'd like to order a quart of oil,

and could you bring it over right away?

Weight? Goober, I don't care what it weighs.

Could you just bring it over right away?

Thank you, goober.

[Baby crying incessantly]

I still don't understand what you wanted the oil for, aunt bee.

Well, I wanted to oil some things.

Well, what kind of things? That's pretty heavy oil I brought.

Well, I like heavy oil.

It oils things that need oiling so much better.

Oh.

The baby sure was hungry.

Yes. And I thought, as long as you were here

you'd like to feed her.

Well, she's finished.

[Baby cooing]

[clicks tongue]

well, I gotta get back to fillin' station.

Thank you, goober.

Oh, goober, if I should do a lot of oiling,

I may order another quart.

Yes, ma'am.

[Baby crying]

aunt bee. Oh, andy!

Oh... No, evie... Evie-joy is whining.

Now, she must need something.

Well, I'm just going in to feed her, andy.

Well, I wish you would. I've got to sleep.

I'll have her quiet in a jiffy, andy.

Well...

[Baby crying]

I know. I know, evie-joy.

You want your : feeding,

but could you just wait just a little longer?

[Baby crying]

oh, dear.

[Crying more loudly]

oh!

[Doorbell ringing]

[stuttering] oh, i... Evie, I'll be right back.

I'll be right back.

How do you do?

Uh, I represent the martin phillips company.

Uh, we're introducing a new line of kitchenware that I'm sure

all housewives'll really be interested in.

No. I'm very busy today. I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no! Do... Do come in. Come in, just a minute. Oh.

It just so happens I am desperate for some kitchenware.

Thank you.

I need some, uh, uh, a can opener and an eggbeater and...

Oh, well, actually, uh, most of our line

consists only of pots and pans.

Oh, well, I need some of those, too.

Won't you come upstairs?

[Chuckling]

and I'll take this one, too.

Oh, fine.

Well, all finished.

She seems mighty happy.

Yes, she does, doesn't she?

Well, why don't you put her back in the crib?

And then I'll figure out what I owe you.

Oh, ok.

[Baby crying]

[muttering]

well, I just thought you might stop by

and we could discuss the sunday social.

Well, I understand, but I would imagine

you might have some interest in your parishioners' plans.

Well, reverend, if you can't, you can't.

Good-bye, reverend.

[Sighing] evie-joy's cryin'.

Andy, would you give her, her : feeding?

[Mumbling] uh, yeah. Uh, I don't understand.

[Crying] oh, andy.

I just don't know what I'm going to do.

[Aunt bee crying]

what's the matter, aunt bee?

She hates me. Who?

Evie-joy.

Every time I pick her up, she cries.

She can't even stand to have me touch her.

What?

It's true, andy.

I was ashamed to tell you,

but I can't keep it from you any longer. I just can't handle it.

That's all there is to it.

Aww, oh, aunt bee.

She cries every time I hold her.

Everybody else can hold her, and she's happy.

But the minute I touch her, she cries her heart out.

Well... I'm gonna have to call them.

Who?

Martha and darryl. Oh.

I know the wedding's tomorrow,

but they'll have to come right back after the wedding.

Well... She hates me.

I don't know why, but she hates me.

I'm going to call them

and you'll have to feed her.

Will you feed her? Please!

Sarah... [Baby crying]

yes, she's fine. She's fine.

Now, evie-joy has been fed and changed,

and if she should cry, all you have to do

is to give her one of her toys to play with. Ok.

Now, I'm going down to mr. Foley's and the bakery

and I'll be right back, but you boys promise

you'll stay right in the house, won't you?

Sure, aunt bee. Yeah.

Good. Bye.

What do you wanna do, ope?

Hmm, wanna watch t.v.? Nah.

You wanna play checkers? Nah.

You wanna go up and see the baby?

What for?

Well, sometimes she is kind of funny.

Once in a while, she makes a face

that looks just like benjamin franklin.

If there's nothin' better to do.

Got anything to eat?

I think there's some blueberry pie in the refrigerator.

Hey, yeah.

[Whispering] oh, there it is.

(Pete) is that all she does?

Well, what do you expect? She's only months old.

What does she eat?

Mushy stuff. Mashed up fruit and stuff like that.

Hey, do you think she'd like some of this?

Well, it looks like the stuff she eats.

Here, baby. Here, baby.

Hey, kid.

Huh. Hey, she likes it.

I think I'll give her some.

[Gurgling]

there, evie-joy. Yeah.

[Chuckling] look at that. She eats it right up.

[T.v. Blaring] oh, andy, you're up.

Hmm. Would you put those in the kitchen?

I have to check on evie-joy. Ok.

Give me a hand. Come on. Come on.

So you boys have been baby-sittin', huh?

Yeah, kinda.

It sure is a nice baby.

Yeah, you think so?

Sure likes pie.

Did you boys give her pie?

Not the crust, pa, just the blueberries.

Boy, she gobbled 'em right up.

Well, I guess it's ok.

I wouldn't give her any more, though.

Oh, we can't. There's none left.

Oh.

(Aunt bee) andy! Andy! Andy!

Andy! Andy! Andy!

Andy, call the doctor, quick. Let's get to the hospital.

There's something terribly wrong with the baby.

Take it easy, aunt bee. What's the matter?

Look at her. Look at her. Her mouth is all blue.

[Laughing] oh, I was afraid something might happen.

Andy! What is the matter with you? This is serious.

When a baby turns blue, anything in the world can be wrong with it.

W-w-we know what's wrong.

Oh, this is no time to talk. Let's get in the car.

Wrong? What do you mean, wrong?

We know what's wrong.

Blueberry pie. Right, boys?

That's right. It's blueberries, aunt bee.

Blueberries?

From the pie.

Blueberries?

Oh! Oh!

Thank goodness!

She's sure crazy about them.

Oh! Oh!

Hey, she isn't crying.

What?

You're holding the baby and she isn't cryin'.

Oh, she isn't, is she?

Looks happy as a lark.

Why, she is.

Why do you think that is, andy?

Gee, i... I don't know.

Why, that's strange.

All of a sudden. Yeah.

I should have thought she would have screamed her head off

the way I grabbed her.

Hey, I bet that's it.

What?

She's not crying because she feels safe in your arms.

What do you mean?

Well, you were probably nervous about handling her before,

and she sensed that.

But this time, when you picked her up

why, you just... You just picked her up to protect her

and she sensed that, too.

Oh, do you think that's it, andy?

Yes, I do.

Oh.

Do you mean she... She doesn't hate me?

[Chuckling] it sure doesn't look like it.

Oh!

Oh, you sweet little dear.

Oh.

♪ [Andy strumming guitar]

[crickets chirping]

♪ golden slumber ♪

♪ kiss your eyes ♪

♪ smiles await you ♪

♪ when you rise ♪

♪ sleep, pretty baby ♪

♪ don't you cry ♪

[whistling] ♪ and I will sing you ♪

♪ lullaby ♪

♪ lullaby ♪

hmm.

She asleep?

Would you like me to take her upstairs for you, aunt bee?

Oh, no, no. I'll take her.

She's so used to me,

if anybody else picked her up it might disturb her.

Here we go.

♪ [Andy whistling]