08x15 - Howard's New Life

[bunniefuu]

Well, it was so nice

you could have dinner
with us tonight, Howard.

Well, I certainly
appreciate Andy asking me.

Well, we can't have
you eating at the diner.

I hope it wasn't
too much trouble...

You know, the unexpected guest.

Oh, of course not;
We always have plenty.

I just had to run out
and get a couple

of extra lamb chops,
that's all... only cents.

Howard, is there anything new

at the county clerk's office?

Oh, never much new there,
aunt bee

just the usual routine.

In my office
one day's just like another.

Aunt bee, isn't your program on?

Good heavens,
I didn't realize it was so late.

Opie, put on the set.

Howard, I hope you
like travelogues.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

We'll leave the
dishes until later.

Sure, there you are, Howard.

Well, I hope we haven't
missed too much.

I hope not.

Tonight it's about
the Caribbean islands.

Oh, maybe we'll see
some dancing girls, huh?

And now, bill,
we're going to leave

the major islands behind
and set sail

for some of the smaller,
unspoiled tropical isles

that dot the clear blue waters
of the Caribbean.

Isn't that beautiful?

Sure is.

As we approached the shore,
we were enthralled

by the natural beauty
of the many graceful palms

curving out over the white sands
of the still lagoon.

Wouldn't you love to go
to a place like that?

Sure is pretty.

Beautiful.

I hope they show
some land crabs.

Temperature here only varies

a few degrees
the whole year round.

Between the gentle ocean breezes
and the tropical sun

man can find a virtual paradise

where food is plentiful and
money is of little consequence.

Not bad, huh?

Here, just a few thousand miles
off the beaten path

men have found a haven

from routine...

Freedom from the daily chores
of modern civilization.

Easy life, huh?

Mmm.

It's no wonder
that many men have escaped here

to these gentle islands

where there are no deadlines
to meet, no clocks to watch...

Where men have found
health and happiness

and time to pursue
the real values of life.

Makes you stop and think,
huh, Howard?

Howard?

Hmm?

Makes you stop and think.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

With a heavy heart,
we weighed anchor

and sailed away from our
little island paradise...

Sailed away to the rigors
of civilization

where we again picked up
our humdrum way of life.

Hi, Mr. Sprague.

Hi, ope. What can
I do for you?

I need a new bike license.

Oh, is it that time
of year already?

Yeah.

Yeah, just a year ago today.

Well, that'll be,
uh... cents, ope.

Yes, sir.

There you go.

Thanks.

cents...

And bike licenses...

cents.

Yes, sir. There you are.

Looks like you're busy.

Yeah, well, just the usual routine, ope...
Usual routine.

Do you do a lot of stamping?

Well, yeah, you've got to
stamp them when they come in

so you can stamp them
when they go out.

Oh.

It sounds kind of dull.

Well, somebody has to keep track

of all the city's
official documents.

Like this bike license of yours.

Now, years from now,
if somebody wants to know

I've got to be able to tell them
the exact date you bought it.

Well, who'd want to know that?

Well, I don't know.

I mean... just in case
somebody wants to know.

You know.

Oh.

Will you still be working here
years from now?

Yeah, I guess so.

Oh.

Well, I gotta go.

I'll see you, ope.

years?

You want to turn that thing off?

It's blowing right on my neck.

Look, this happens to
be a place of business.

Well, you sure ain't doing
nothing to build up good will.

Hi, fellas.

Oh, hi, Howard.

Oh, hi, Howard.
Hi, Howard.

Fixing a fan, huh?

Hey, you're really
on the ball today.

Well, goob, that ought
to just about do it.

You see what you made me do?

What's the matter, Howard?

Hmm? I said, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

Hey, I certainly enjoyed
that meal last night, Andy.

Oh, good, I'm glad you did.

And that was a very
interesting travelogue, too.

Yeah.

What travelogue was that?

It was on the Caribbean islands.

Oh, I saw part of that.

My tube blew out on me
when they were in that lagoon.

Andy, do you really suppose

there are guys
who just pull up stakes

and take up life
on those islands?

Well, I guess everybody's
thought about it

at one time or another.

I dream about going to a
tropical island lots of times.

The volcano wipes out Bob hope

and I get Dorothy lamour.

Could be a good life, I guess

if a fella had
a notion to try it.

Yeah, but you'd have to be
a special kind of person...

You know,
kind of devil-may-care.

Yeah.

Trouble is,
we get nailed into a routine

and get in a groove,
and that's our life.

Well, I don't know about that.

If a fella just had
some gumption.

Oh... looks like old Howard's
getting the island bug.

Oh-ho-ho, not Howard.

He's not the type.

Yeah, a conscientious fella
like Howard

would never do a
thing like that.

No.

Sorry, Howard,
we just voted you out.

Well, I've got to be running.

I'll see you.

Back to the old
sawmill, huh, Howard?

Yeah. Quarterly
sales permits.

Yeah.

Well, I'll see you.

Okay, Howard.
Take it easy.

Bye, Howard.
See you, Howard.

It's no wonder that many men

have escaped here
to these gentle islands

where there are
no deadlines to meet

no clocks to watch...

Where men have found
health and happiness

and time to pursue
the real values of life.

Sounds kind of dull.

Will you still be working here
years from now?

Yeah, but you'd have to be
a special kind of person...

You know,
kind of devil-may-care.

You did what?

Quit my job.

Bought a plane ticket
and I leave Thursday.

A one-way plane ticket,
incidentally.

Well, now, wait a minute,
Howard, wait a minute.

You know, the other day

we were talking about how guys

think about doing
a thing like this

but so far as actually doing it

well, now, that's
another thing entirely.

Andy, I've given
it a lot of thought

and I'm going to a little island
in the Caribbean

where there aren't
any rubber stamps

where they throw away the clocks

and a man can find contentment.

Well, have you got the island
picked out and everything?

Yep. St. Benedict's...
Pearl of the Caribbean.

A little strip of sand
about four miles long

four miles wide

surrounded by clear,
blue waters.

You land in Trinidad
and get there by boat.

Is your mind really made up?

Yes, sir.

Well, won't you have to
make a living or something?

Well, you know I've saved
my money over the years

and, uh, well, actually
living down there

costs practically nothing.

Well, Howard, I...
I don't know what to say.

I just never figured you

in a million years,
would do anything like this.

Andy, some men are talkers
and some men are doers.

I've discovered that...

I'm a doer.

Being a doer, well...

Time comes when a man's
just got to follow his rainbow.

Nothing yet.

Well, Howard

here's just a little something
for the bus trip.

In case you get hungry.

Well, thank you, aunt bee.

Hey, Howard,
this is from us guys.

Oh, hey. Well, I'll certainly
have plenty of time

to learn how to play them.

We didn't know
what else to get you, see.

Didn't know what you'd need.

Well, actually,
a man has very few needs

when he chooses to lead
the simple, carefree life.

Yeah.
Yeah.

You mean you're going to loaf?

Ope.

Oh, I'll find
plenty to do, Opie.

Hey, here comes the bus.

Yeah, there she is.

Seven minutes late.

Yeah.

Hey, listen to me...
Still in the old rut.

Who cares if the bus is late?

From now on, time is forever.

Hey-hey, that's good.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll write some poetry

while I'm down there, too.

Well, listen, I guess
this is it, then, Howard.

Good-bye, Howard.

Good-bye. We're
going to miss you.

I'll miss you, too, aunt bee.

Lots of luck, Howard.

Well, listen,
maybe aunt bee and I

can come down there sometime.

Well, you're all
more than welcome.

Just leave your cares behind.

Okay. Well, hey,
help get the stuff, ope.

Take care, Howard.

Give me that, give me that.

You got it?

Bye, Howard.

Bye.

Okay.

Aloha!

He's got the wrong ocean.

I still don't understand it.

An intelligent man like Howard

with a good job

throwing it away
to go to some island.

Doesn't make sense, does it?

No, it doesn't.

Make more sense if it was me.

Well...

Oh! Hey, wow!

Look at that.

Does this serve your needs, sir?

Oh, yeah!

It's perfect, just what
I've been lookin' for.

I-I can use the beach, can't I?

Yes, sir. Sun is one thing
we have an ample supply of.

My own beach.

Wowee!

A blue lagoon
and swaying palm trees.

Yeah, well, this is gonna be
just perfect, just perfect.

Ten dollars a month you say,
huh?

That is correct, sir.

There ya are.

Thank you, sir, and I hope
you enjoy yourself.

Thank you very kindly.

See you around.

Ah...

Howard sprague, you've done it.

You're a real island man.

♪ Ah, the apple tree

♪ swaying in the breeze

♪ da-da-da-da dum

Oh!

What are you looking
for, mister?

Oh, well, I...

Actually, I'm just
horsin' around a little.

Uh, what's your name, son?

Sebastian.

Well, pleased to meet you,
Sebastian.

I'm Mr. Sprague.

Just call me Howard.

No sense in us islanders
being formal.

Where do you come from?

Mayberry, north Carolina.

You have rock 'n' roll?

Yeah.

And movies?

Sure.

And you like falling
in the water here better?

Well, no. It's, uh, the life
you people lead down here...

A life of peace and contentment.

I have to go now.

You have to go now?

Yes. I have to take the fish
to the general store.

They buy them.

Oh, the general store, huh?

Hey, that's an idea.

Uh, I mean,
I haven't been there yet.

How do you get there?

Just follow the beach.

You can't miss it.

But if you do, you'll just
end up back here anyway.

This little island just goes
around and around and around.

Oh.

I'll see ya, Sebastian!

Hi, there!

I imagine you're the proprietor.

I'd like to introduce myself.

I'm Howard sprague,
just down from the states

a couple days ago.

I'm gonna be a new
customer of yours.

No credit.

Oh, oh, well,
I'll be payin' cash

right on the old barrel head.

Yeah...yep.

Yes, sir.

I imagine this is gonna be
my home from now on.

'Course, I'm pretty well fixed,
you know.

Yeah, got enough
to last me for a while,

but, uh, later on, I figure,
just to keep busy,

I might get involved
in native handicrafts.

Make little ships in bottles,
maybe, and sell 'em.

Yeah, well, I'll probably
come up with something.

Actually, I just dropped in

to meet some of
my fellow islanders.

Okay.

Grover...

Grover!

Huh?

Is it sunday already?

No, no, not yet, grover.

I just want you
to meet somebody.

This is, uh...
What is it?

Uh, Howard.

Howard.

This is grover, this is Wes

and this is...

That's norm.

Well, it certainly is a
pleasure to meet you fellas.

How long y'all been down here?

Oh! , years.

Oh!

Grover used to be a big lawyer

back in Detroit.

Oh! Well...

Wanna buy a ship in a bottle?

Uh, uh, no, thanks.

Hey, why don't you fellas

all come out to my
place for a swim?

I got a set of bongos.

We could take turns.

Or maybe we could
just have a picnic.

We ought to get acquainted.

There must be something
we could do.

There ain't nothin' to do.

Those guys probably never had
any ambition in the first place.

Bet he wasn't much
of a lawyer, either.

A bum before he got here.

Those are the kinda guys that
end up talkin' to themselves.

Hi.

Hello.

No credit.

No, we're not looking
to buy anything.

We're trying to get
some information.

A dear friend of ours came to
live here a couple of months ago

and we're just trying
to get the address.

Howard sprague?

Howard what?

Sprague.

Uh...

Tall, distinguished-looking man
with a little moustache?

Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's over there.

That's Howard?!

No.

Yep. That's him,
all right.

He went down faster than most.

Oh, Howard.

Howard?

Howard, it's Andy and aunt bee.

You wanna buy a ship
in a bottle?

Oh... dear.

How... how did
it happen?

You know.

Poor Howard. He had
such high hopes.

He was the county clerk in
Mayberry, where we come from.

Oh, yes, a highly
respected citizen.

Loved by all his friends
and neighbors.

Why did he leave such a
productive and useful life?

Howard, why did you do it?

Howard?

Andy, come on, let's...

Just a minute, goob.

Well, if we're gonna
go bowlin', let's go!

Hi, fellas.

Hey, Howard!

Well, Howard!

For goodness sake!

What in the world?

I just got off the
bus, saw your light.

Well, what are you doin' here?

Well, I've come home.

For good?!

Yeah.

Well, that's great, Howard.

That's just great!

What happened? It wasn't as nice
as you thought it would be, huh?

Oh, well, it-it was
nice, all right.

I mean, the island
had everything

just like the travelogue
said it would.

Yeah?

Broad beaches and blue lagoons

swaying palm trees and all.

But I discovered something.

I-I discovered
that the average man...

And I guess I'm about as average
as you can get...

Can't just sit around
doing nothin'.

He's got to have some incentive

to make life interesting
and worthwhile.

Well, I certainly agree
with that, Howard

but I thought you wanted
to follow your rainbow

and everything.

Yeah, well, I guess I just
followed it to the wrong end.

My pot of gold's
right here in Mayberry.

Ah, that's pretty.

You always did have a way
with words.

Well, I'm kind of
bushed, fellas.

I just wanted to say hello.

I'll be gettin' home.

Oh, okay, okay.

Hey, uh, Howard...

Uh, your job is still open,
if-if you want it.

Oh, I sure do.

Oh.

Thanks.

Oh, well, good.

I'll see ya in the morning.

Bye, Howard.
Bye, Howard.

Well, we'll see you
tomorrow, Howard.

Good night, fellas.

Good night!
Good night!

I sure am glad to see him back.

Yeah. Me, too.

I never said it before

but I always figured

that was a pretty stupid
thing he done...

Goin' away like that.

Well, maybe, maybe not, goob.

Fella has a dream

he goes after it,
it doesn't work

he comes back.

A fella like that's kinda
lived a little, you know?

I guess.

Hmm.

Hi, guys!

How you doin'?

Beautiful night, huh?

Yeah, you gettin' used

to the old place again, huh?

Almost like I never been away.

Say, how about
some pop for fellas?

My treat.

Good idea, but I'm buyin'.

Nobody buys at my
gas station 'cept me.

I'm the one that
ought to be buyin',

to welcome myself home.

Nothin' doin', nothin' doin'.

There we are, good old pop.

Hits the spot.

There we are.

There you are, good, huh?

Nice night.

Nice little breeze
from the west.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That one of Wendell's dogs?

Must be.

Yeah, there go the rest of 'em.

Huntin' again.

Yeah.

Good pop.

Sure is.

Hits the spot, doesn't it?