01x10 - The Main Man (2)

[bunniefuu]

I am the Preserver.

You are Lobo, the most ruthless
bounty hunter in the galaxy.

I want to hire you.

I think you're
a certifiable madman.

Lights out, Clyde.

You are the last Kryptonian.

Therefore, your place is here.

Actually, there is one other being
I need for my collection.

Hey!

The last Zarnian.

I can't believe it.

Not only has Lobo failed to deliver
your thieving brother, Sqweek...

...but now you tell me
that Lobo's taken a bribe...

...to let Sqweek escape.

It's true, Emperor Spewge,
on my honor as a bounty hunter.

Lobo has broken his word.

He'll pay for that!

Find him, Gnaww.

Drag Lobo and that worthless
brother of yours back here...

...alive or in pieces!

Got it.

Thanks for returning my uniform.

Now how about my ship?

Impossible. For ages, I have preserved
many rare creatures...

...even some from your
adopted planet Earth.

I'm not an animal to be stuck in a cage.

Normally, I don't take sentient beings...

...but you and Lobo are all that survive...

...from your respective home worlds.

The Zarnian seems to be adjusting
to his new surroundings.

I suggest you do the same.

Rise and shine, big boy.

Pinch me, I'm dreaming.

No, I'm not. It's a party, right?
I can deal with that.

You babes sit tight,
and I'll grab us some suds.

Man, I don't know where I am
or how I got here, but I'm glad l...

- Morning.
- Suddenly it's all coming back to me.

Where's that little creep
that locked me in here?

When I get my hands on him, I'll...

Take it easy, swookums.

No need to get rowdy.

Gas! Back off,
you blasted robo-bims.

There. Nice and peaceful.

No one fights here.

Sorry, fella, but you're
my ticket out of here.

A disturbance in the south wing, sir.

Send the security probes.

Yo, Supes.

You ain't gonna bail without
your old pal Lobo, are you?

If any creature in the galaxy deserves
to be locked up, it's you.

Why, you dirty...

Lobie, are you getting rowdy again?

Oh, no, no. I'm cool.

Come on, cut me a break. They keep
me so pumped with gas, I can hardly move.

I gotta get out of here.

So you can att*ck the Earth again?
I don't think so.

All right. I don't need you!
I'm the Main Man.

You hear me, you rag-fragging
geek-wad.

Oh, my. Such language.

It might take me a week.

It might take me years.

But I'm gonna bust out...

...and kick that big red S
of yours all over the galaxy.

Right after I'm done nuking
the Earth into guacamole.

And that's...

...a promise.

If I let you out...

...do you swear to leave me
and everyone else on Earth in peace?

The Main Man's word
is his bond, man.

Oh, jinkies. The Preserver
won't like this one bit.

Come here, sweet things.

Dang, that felt good.

Hey, blue, thanks.

What was that for?

Didn't want you to think
I'm going soft on you.

Return to your enclosures.

Who's gonna make us?

- Thanks, bigmouth.
- I didn't know they were armed.

Neither one of us is back to full strength.

If they drag us back, they'll probably strap
our butts to the floor with razor wire.

Not that it ain't a pleasurable
way to perk up an evening.

But I do have me that prisoner to deliver.

- We need a decoy to draw their fire.
- Elected.

Hey!

Fragger.

Come on.

Soon as that gas wears off...

...I'm grinding that Preserver into kibble
and feeding him to his varmints.

- We should just get our ships and leave.
- You want to run? Fine.

Your wimpy little toy rocket is in the
south hangar, where I left it.

Me, I'm staying to feed Wrinkles
different flavors of pain.

I give the lessons in discipline here, Zarnian.

I think I stepped in something.

Thanks. I owe you.

Whoa, that's gonna hurt.

Lobo, thought you said you owed me.

What, now?

Oh, whoopdie-fragging-do.

Belt?

I may have to capture them myself.

Preserver, another ship is hailing us.

We've tracked the bounty hunter
Lobo to your ship.

Hand him over at once.

Better yet, come and get him.

This is sweet. Quench me, babe.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Say "aloha," babe.

The docking bay's on the other side
of the jungle. We're home free.

Don't bet on it.

Move in, boys. Without their powers,
these wimps are dead meat.

Let's go get them.

Hey, Lobo, remember us?

- Friends of yours?
- My bridge club.

It's my brother, Gnaww.
He's come to rescue me.

In your dreams, Sqweek.

We followed your bike's ion trail.

It was stronger than your breath.

Hey, watch what you say about my bike.

We're no match for their weapons.

Tell me about it.

They're trying to surround us.

At least I'll go down fragging.

Wait.

I see something else. It's...

What? What?

Get to the docking bay.
I'll hold them off here.

Your funeral, Clyde.

Now, what were you up to?

Oh, I get it.

You were going to sic one of the
Preserver's bloodthirsty beasts on us.

Well, maybe we'll let whatever's
in there rip into you.

- You don't want to do that.
- Oh, yes we do.

Throw him in.

That's a bloodthirsty beast?

Not quite.

It's a dodo from Earth.

Earth?

The old hog never looked so good.

Yeah. I was hoping I'd get
a piece of you before I left.

As much as I dislike taking
a personal hand in this matter...

...you leave me no other choice.

Return to your enclosure immediately.

Who's gonna make me?

I'm gonna have to stop saying that.

How could I ever think trash like you
was worth saving?

I got a cute smile?

Sqweek, old buddy, you're about to
witness my good deed for this century.

You're gonna let me go?

Funny.

Hey, Supes!

Hang on!

And that's how come I was
so late getting back here, Spewgie.

I knew you'd never let me down, Lobo...

...despite rumors to the contrary.

But what about Superman
and the rest of those creatures?

That's the weirdest part.

Me, I'd have let the critters drift,
or maybe host a three-year barbecue.

Not old Supes. Said he had a place
all picked out for them.

I guess that boy's just a sucker
for hard-luck cases.