03x02 - Zack's Birthday

[bunniefuu]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Zack: Starting today,
this is where I work.

Pretty nice office, huh?

You see, the whole g*ng
landed summer jobs

at the Malibu Sands Beach Club
with a little help from Lisa,

whose parents are club members.

Oh. Girls on the beach,
fun in the sun,

money in my pocket -- this is
going to be the best summer ever.

I've owned this club
for years.

So I know exactly what you
new employees expect.

Girls on the beach,
fun in the sun,

money in your pocket.

You think this is going to be
the best summer ever.

Boy, this guy's really sharp.

Well, you can forget it.

You're here to work
from the moment you punch in--

- Good morning Mr. Carosi.
- Hello, Mrs. Henderson.

My! What a gorgeous outfit.

--to the minute you punch out.

And don't forget our motto,

"The members are always right."

Excuse me, what if a member
says the earth is flat?

Do we correct him
or do we just let it go?

Don't mind him.
His head is flat.

- Who are you?
- Oh, Zack Morris.

- I'm your new head waiter.
- Really?

I think someone like you is
more suited for Social Director.

Social Director?
Sounds good. What do I do?

If a member
wants a chair, you get it.

If a member's kid
wants to bury you

in the sand,
start digging. Get it?

- Do they tip you for that?
- They never have,

but maybe you'll get lucky.

We hired you as a lifeguard?

I'm a senior lifesaver,
Mr. Carosi.

But you're a little bit of a thing.
'Round here we save our shrimps

for cocktails.
(laughs)

Hey, Mr. Carosi,
Kelly is a terrific swimmer.

- She'll be great.
- Did I ask you, beef boy?

No.

If you don't want
to hire Kelly as a lifeguard

just because she's a woman,
that's discrimination.

You like to throw
your two cents in, don't you?

Boy, you have no idea.

All right.
We'll hire you as a lifeguard.

You won't regret
that decision, sir.

Chat, chat, chat. You're gonna need
sunblock for that tongue.

Okay, we'll try you
as a receptionist.

We'll see how that big mouth handles
all the members' complaints.

One question, sir.
My birthday is Saturday.

Can I leave a little before : ?
Say, : ?

Sure, and if you do

you're fired.

Now, get to work!

I think he likes you, Zack.

Excuse me.
Let me help you with that.

It's a new service of the club.

- Can you do me next?
- Oh, why wait?

I have two hands.

Oh, boy!

And thank you.
Enjoy your stay.

Hey, Screech. Could you
run into the Sand Cafe

and get me and Kelly
a couple of sodas?

Certainly. We have cream soda,
club soda, orange soda, diet cola,

- cherry cola, ginger ale...
- Just a couple of waters, okay?

- All right. Spring, tonic, sparkling--
- Regular water, Screech.

- Cool, cold, or warm?
- Get out of here!

Hey, babe, are you
the new lifeguard?

Yeah, but the name is Kelly.

So, what do you gotta do
to get a little mouth-to-mouth?

Try drowning. Excuse me, I have
to concentrate on the swimmers.

Ms. Kapowski, could I have
a word with you?

Yes, sir.

- Don't flirt with the members.
- But I was--

- Oh, Norman, how are the folks?
- They're great, sir.

That is so unfair.

That goon was hitting on me and Carosi
acted like it was my fault.

Hey, Slater, did you want
crushed ice, shaved ice,

or no ice with that water?

Good day, sir. My name is Samuel
and I'll be your waiter.

Screech, it's me.
I don't need a menu.

I know that, Zack,
but I need the practice.

Please take the menu.

Fine. I'll have a coke.

Hi, Zack.
May I join you?

- Sure, Lisa.
- Oh, allow me.

Thank you... I think.

Now, may I tell you
today's specials?

We have linguini, fettuccini,
or eenie meanie tortellini.

- I'll have a salad.
- Mixed or greeny?

- Greeny.
- Large or teeny.

Will you get out of here,
you wienie!

Why, hello Mrs. Holmes.
Lovely to see you. You're looking fit.

- Hi, Mr. Carosi.
- Lisa, lovely to see you.

- What are you doing here?
- I'm on my lunch break, sir.

The dining room
is for members only.

Oh, but Zack is my friend,
Mr. Carosi.

I'd like to have lunch with him.

Well, far be it from me
to displease a member.

I miss seeing your parents.
I know they're busy surgeons,

but it's a joy watching them
cut their meat.

Never eat here again.

(phone rings)

Hello?
Beach Club.

I'll connect you.

- That's no way to answer the phone.
- (phone rings)

I'll show you how it's done.

Hello? This is
the Malibu Sands Beach Club.

We are having a beautiful day
and I hope you are t--

No, we don't give
family discounts.

Not even to you, Mom.

What are you staring at?
Get back to work.

Hi. What's the latest
on Zack's surprise party?

It's on. My parents' beach house,
Friday at midnight.

Technically, : a.m.,
the first minute of Zack's birthday.

It's perfect. He'll be so primed
for something Saturday night,

he'll never guess this.

We can get the place ready
when we move in with you tonight.

You're so nice to let us
stay with you this summer.

Aw, well I've always
wanted sisters.

Now that the party's set,
we better start inviting everyone.

Yeah, but don't tell
Screech yet.

He's such a blabber mouth,
we might as well tell Zack.

- Shh! Here he comes.
- Our break's over, huh, Kelly?

- Better get back to the beach.
- Yeah, great idea.

Bye, Jessie.
Bye, Zack.

- How's it going, Zack?
- Oh, not great.

Carosi's a real pain.
Maybe working here wasn't a good idea.

I take that back.

Hi there.
Can I help you?

Maybe. I'm looking
for someone--

Oh, aren't we all,
and sometimes we get lucky

and find that someone
we're looking for.

That's so profound.

I'm looking for Leon Carosi.

What do you want
to see that jerk for?

Because that jerk's my father.

Oh.

I was just kidding. Guess what?
You're on "Totally Hidden Video."

How can you get up to run
at : in the morning?

Easy, you're snoring
woke me up at : .

It sounded like there was
a pig under the bed.

Did you have to whistle
the theme from "Rocky"

while you were putting
on your sweats?

Some people
are so "inconsiderato."

And some people are such slobs.

- Do you do that at home?
- Oh, I see. I have a summer mommy.

Who belongs to this mess?

Messy Jessie.

Do me a favor. Clean up you act,
then clean up the bathroom.

Morning. Can we offer
you ladies a ride to the club?

- Oh, thanks guys.
- But first,

- what do you say to breakfast?
- Great idea. Where?

Here, Mama. Get in that kitchen
and make me some French toast.

- I don't do French toast.
- Oh. Bacon and eggs will be fine.

- Make my eggs scrambled.
- And if you don't shut up

I'm gonna scramble you
into a dork omelet.

Zack, we heard you really blew it
with Carosi's daughter yesterday.

Yeah. The word is,
you needed a shoehorn

to get your foot
out of your mouth.

Just wait.
By the end of the day,

Ms. Carosi will be
eating out of my hand.

Kelly: Oh, yeah right.

This is my daughter, Stacy.
She just flew in from New York,

where she goes to school.
Stacy is now the assistant manager

and in charge of the summer help.
Stacy, they're all yours.

Thank you, Dad.

Great.

We're working for a woman.

Excuse me.

Would you like
to share your comment?

Well, I was just saying
it's great working for a woman.

We'll get along better
if you don't

think of me as a woman,
but as your boss.

How about as one boss woman?

I'm sorry. You see
I'm from the east coast.

Was that California humor, dude?

Were you being
awesome and gnarly?

I was just trying
to make a joke.

Well, next time try harder.

Now, listen up. A club
is only as good as its staff,

so, I demand
that you be the best.

As long as that's clear
we won't have any problems.

Any more quips for us, dude?

Uh... no, not right now,
Ms. Carosi.

Well, you sure got her
eating out of your hand, Preppie.

Okay, Courtney, why don't
we just practice serves?

- Go for it.
- I don't know how to do it.

Okay, I'll show you how.

Right over there.

Give me the ball.
Now, you take the ball

and you put it
in your left hand.

Like so. Okay?
Hold it right there.

Take your right arm and you
bring it back, nice and smooth.

Nice and smooth.
Smooth.

Okay, that's smooth enough.

- Hey, you want to join us?
- No, but won't you join me?

Practice. Girls, practice.

You listen up, bud.
You are not being paid

- to party with the members.
- I am a Social Director.

Can't get more social than that.

What is it with you
California guys?

Too much sun bleaches the brain?

Let me make it clear. I catch you
goofing off with the girls

one more time
and you're out of here.

Stacy-- Stacy, wouldn't you enjoy
your job more if you lightened up?

- I mean, it's the summer--
- Look, airhead...

I'm not interested in lightening up,
or chilling out or hanging , okay?

I've got a job to do, and my job
is to make sure you do your job right.

Yes, sir.

Yes, and I want the cake
to say "Happy Birthday Zack."

No. Zack.

Z. A. C...

by the sea.
Our beach club is by the sea.

Good job, Jessie. And if they're
looking for a different beach club

give them the wrong directions.

Mrs. Axlerod,
love that new hair color.

- It matches the ocean.
- (giggles)

Still there?
Okay, let's try again.

Happy Birthday Zack.

Z. A--

--a wrong number.

- I have had it.
- What's wrong?

I took this job so I could
get a car and meet some girls,

but I'm just getting hassled
by Mr. Carosi

and his little
stuck-up daughter.

I love my job.

- Is all that money from tips?
- Yep.

One lady gave me five bucks
just to go away.

Too bad Mr. Carosi won't
let you be a waiter, Zack.

The real money's
in food service.

Screech, if I can't
get near the money,

I'll bring the money to me,
and you're gonna help.

- I am.
- Mm-hmm.

Jessie, I've got to talk to you
about Zack's party.

Everything's under control
and everyone's been invited.

Call them back. I forget to ask my
parents if I could use the beach house.

They're throwing a party there
themselves this Friday.

Lisa, how could you
forget something like that?

Hey, I'm beautiful, I'm charming,
I'm always in fashion.

You can't expect me to worry
about minor details too.

Whoa! Check out
those dolls.

Slater, you should be
more serious about your job.

I have never been more serious.

Hot dogs!
Right this way!

Get your hot dogs!
Half the price of the Sand Cafe

and twice the taste!
Hot dogs!

Right this way!
Get your hot dogs!

All right. Keep it up,
Mr. Wiener.

Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here!
Right here!

- Hello there, Mr. Grossi.
- Carosi. What are you doing?

Just trying to make a little
extra money on my lunch break.

You're stealing business
from my dining room.

Really?

Well, you see,
your property line ends right there,

and this is a public beach,

so I guess I'm within my rights.

Now of course,
I might not need a little extra

if I were earning
as much as... say...

- a waiter.
- Okay.

Okay, I'll try you
out as a waiter,

but mess up just once
and you're through.

No one crosses Leon Carosi.

Zack, you gotta help me
get out of this suit!

There's a herd of fat kids
trying to barbecue me!

Here you are.
Enjoy your lunch.

Thank you, young man.
You're a wonderful waiter.

Thank you.

Mrs. Mancuso,

a free desert in honor
of your th birthday.

Come on, Zack.
We both know I'm .

Oh-- oh. Let me get that
for you, girls. Here we are.

Thanks.
Here's your tip.

Oh, you are very generous.

And I've got a tip for you two
lovely ladies, I'm free tonight.

Ms. Carosi, I'd advise you to leave
before your dad has a cow.

Employees are not allowed
to dine with the members.

Those rules don't apply
to the boss's daughter.

- (scoffs)
- Now, may I have a menu?

Why, certainly.

There you go.

Now, what about the specials?

A lot of girls think
I'm pretty special.

Look, surfer boy,

that wise-guy style
does not suit this club.

Okay-- okay.

We have a rosemary chicken
and a grilled salmon plate.

Well?

Well?

You're supposed to ask me
if I'd like anything to drink.

Excuse me, Ms. Carosi.
Zack, I need to borrow a comb.

I like a waiter who's concerned
about his appearance.

Here, you can borrow mine.

Thanks.
I'll be right back.

You know, you can learn
a lot from your friend.

- At least his shirt was tucked in.
- Oh, give me a break!

Don't use that tone with me.

If you like Screech so much, ask him
to be your waiter and I'll go surf.

Thanks. I spilled fettuccini
in Mrs. Mahoney's hair

and I had to comb it out.

It's a shame we can't have
Zack's party right here at the club.

Why can't we?
The club closes at : .

We could sneak in, have the party
and clean up afterwards.

- Great idea.
- All right.

That's it! I've had it!

This beach is not big enough
for the both of us.

Let me guess. Stacy and you
making nice again?

Will you excuse me, please?
I need to speak with him--

- alone.
- Lisa: Sure.

If you'd like to keep your job,

you'd better get back
to the dining room.

Okay, but not because
you told me to,

because I need the money.
We can't all be spoiled brats.

- What do you mean by tha--
- I mean you'd rather play

assistant manager and Princess Carosi,
than be anybody's friend.

You're too busy looking down your nose
at us to see what we're really like.

You don't even belong in this lounge,
so why don't you just stay out of it?

It's for real employees.

So the plan is to meet here
at : on Friday night and--

Uh, hold it a second, Lisa.

There's a strong undertow today.
You're out too far, come back!

I hope he listens.
Sorry, Lisa.

That's okay. So we'll all pitch in
and get the room ready by midnight.

- Slater will come by with decorations--
- Uh-oh.

He didn't listen.

- What's going on here?
- Norman Shmeltzer's

caught in the undertow.
Kelly's gone after him.

Kelly?

Here comes another lawsuit.

- Lisa: She's got him.
- She does?

If I had to go out and hire
a female lifeguard,

I said to myself "Leon, go out
and find the very best."

(coughing)

Are you all right, now?

Yeah. Yeah,
just a little embarrassed.

You were saved
by a girl, Norman.

You're just gonna have to find
some way to live with it.

Never let him swim out
that far again.

Norman, thank goodness
you're all right!

I felt like it was
my own son out there.

Slater, where are these three
hot babes we're supposed to meet?

They're right here.

Surprise!

Happy birthday, Zack!

You guys cheated.
My birthday's not until tomorrow.

No, it's : a.m.
Your birthday's right now.

Hey, how come no one
let me in on the surprise?

Because we wanted
to keep it a surprise.

Some surprise,
Zack knew it was his birthday.

(dance music playing)

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
dear Zack ♪

♪ Happy birthday
to you ♪

Slater:
Hey, what does that cake say?

Zack: "Happy Wrong Number
By the Sea."

It's a long story. Why don't you
blow out the candles?

Okay.

(cheering)

Did you make a wish?

You better all wish
for new jobs.

- Mr. Carosi.
- Well, birthday boy, I warned you.

Now you're gonna take your friends
down with you. You're all fired.

No, no, no! Please sir,
don't blame them. It was my party.

Don't blame him,
it was a surprise.

Don't blame any of them.

They had my permission
to throw a party.

I thought it would be a goodwill gesture
to the new employees.

Why didn't you tell me that
when the beach patrol called

and said there were
people at the club?

Because you ran off in such a frenzy
I didn't get a chance to.

- So I followed you here.
- Boy, is your face red.

Stacy, in the future, keep me
better informed of your whims.

Now I'm going back to bed.

(all sigh in relief)

Uh... I don't know
what to say.

You said enough
in the employees' lounge.

That's why I did what I did.

Even spoiled brats
have their moments.

But don't get the wrong idea,
because I want this place spotless

before the members
show up tomorrow.

(everyone groans)

Good night.

Hey, Stacy? If you want
to buy me a present,

I need a new surfboard, dude.

(instrumental
theme music playing)