03x04 - The Game

[bunniefuu]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Zack's voice:
I am in love, really in love.

Check out those lines,
those curves.

Have you ever seen anything
as beautiful as this

' Mustang?

Lisa, get off the phone,
it's for business calls only.

Boys are my business, honey.

(scoffs)

Don't forget who got you
this job, Miss Snippy.

Good morning,
beautiful women of the ' s.

- What's with him?
- He's in love.

But I think she's a hunk of junk.

Screech, that's an awfully
piggish thing to say.

It's true, even with
her top down I wasn't thrilled.

What?

You guys are disgusting.

Relax, Curly,
he's talking about a car.

Not just any car --
a ' Mustang convertible.

Good luck, Preppie, I've gotta work.
The lifeguard tower calls.

I've got lives to save.
Hopefully pretty ones.

And I've gotta make a deal
on a ' dream machine.

Touch this phone and you die.

Okay, I'll use my own.

Zack, you're late for work,
my father's looking for you

- and he's hungry.
- What else is new?

Good morning,
Mr. Greasy, sir.

It's Carosi with a C
and you better have my breakfast

or you're fired with an F.

Okay.

Bon appétit, my leader.

Those eggs were overdone,
I'll get you some better ones.

(cell phone rings)

- Hello?
- Hello,

I'm calling about the Mustang for sale.
How much is it?

A steal at $ . ,
not a penny less.

That's a lot of money
for an old car.

I know. I'll take cash
or certified check.

I'd like to test drive it first, but my
jerk of a boss won't let me off early.

I know how those guys can be.
Why don't you stop by after work?

The name's Carosi, Leon Carosi.

- Carosi?
- Morris?

Morris, is that you?

Oo-ooh, would you like
a refill, sir?

- Nice day. Nice shirt.
- Nice try.

This jerk of a boss is not gonna lower
the price of that car one red cent.

is all I can afford.
Please, sir?

Pretty please?

No.

But keep begging, I enjoy it.

Look what the tide dragged in.

Why don't you stay
at your own beach club, Monty?

I'm here to make
our annual volleyball bet.

Unless you're afraid
North Beach will wipe you out again?

Your club was just lucky
the last years.

Well then,
we'll bet the usual $ .

No bets,
we're not playing this year.

Is chicken on today's menu?

Excuse me, sir?
May I speak to you privately?

I told you I'm not lowering
the price of that car, get lost.

It's about the volleyball match.
You could win.

What? Are you dizzy
as well as dopey?

- We don't have a decent team.
- You do this year.

Kelly is captain of the volleyball team
and Slater's All City in four sports.

And Jessie and I are really good
and we're undefeated.

Are you sure?

The bet's on, big mouth.

Slater: Zack, how could you
tell Carosi that we're undefeated?

Well... we haven't lost to anyone.

- We haven't played anyone.
- See?

Guys, this is the perfect opportunity
to make Carosi treat us better.

We've got him over a barrel,
just let me handle this.

How's my team?

- Ready to b*at North Beach on Sunday?
- Well, that depends.

Depends? On what?

On what you might do for us.

We scratch your back,
you scratch ours.

Would someone scratch mine? I've got
a mosquito bite that's driving me nutty.

- Ooh, ooh.
- Better?

Morris, I bet North Beach $
'cause you said your team could win.

I know.

Okay, I see your game.

You can have
afternoons off for practice.

All right!
I mean that's important.

- Now win.
- Nah, nah, nah...

not so fast, Mr. Crotchety.

If you win your bet, you can
sell me your car for $ less.

- No way.
- Then you lose again.

- What is it, years in a row?
- This is blackmail.

All right,
and not a penny less.

and a full t*nk of gas.

and buy your own gas.

, Leon,
and not a penny more.

Deal.

And you have to be nice
to us from now on.

A little change
in your attitude wouldn't hurt,

Mr. Fancy-Pants-Big-sh*t-Boss-Man.

Okay, everybody
get back to work now.

I haven't heard the magic word.

Please.

So this is the great team
I've been hearing about.

Screech: Yeah, we're gonna
win by touchdowns.

Oh, that makes me
feel much better.

Stacy, Stacy, don't worry about it.
We have it under control.

I pity the team
that has to play us.

Oh, no, the bozo brothers are back.

Stacy, what are you doing here?

You told me you were moving
to Africa to be with your dying aunt.

She recovered.
It was a miracle.

Okay? Bye.

Stacy, aren't you gonna
introduce us to your boyfriend?

- He's not my boyfriend.
- (guy scoffs)

Yet.

These amoebas
are Tad and Ted Pogue.

They're so California.
They play for North Beach.

Screech: Meet the team
that's gonna cream you guys.

Really? Do you wanna
hit a few or what?

- Us against you guys.
- You're kidding.

Okay, give you a little taste
of what you're up against.

Okay, remember
our strategy -- win!

- Zack: Yeah!
- Slater: Let's do it! Let's do it!

Zack: Kelly!
Yeah, all right!

Screech:
I got it! I got it!

Hey, Screech, are you okay?

I'm fine, Kelly.
Football's a tough game.

Screech!

I knew my father was crazy
to believe in you guys.

I should warn him so he could
try to get out of this bet.

The game isn't till next week.
We'll win, I promise.

You're crazy,
you're never gonna b*at those guys.

Stacy, give us a chance. Zack's
pulled off crazier things than this.

Okay, I'll give you one day
to come up with something,

or I'll have to tell my father.

(Zack sighs)

- (sighs)
- Oh, man.

So, Preppie,
you got any ideas yet?

Yeah, just one --
pray for a miracle.

Hey.

Excuse me, I'm looking for this
hot-looking lifeguard that works here.

You mean the great-looking, unattached,
dying-for-a-boyfriend brunette.

Yeah, do you know where she is?

- Uh--
- Maybe.

- How tall are you?
- ' ".

Somebody up there loves me.

- Can you get me a date with her?
- It depends -- you play volleyball?

Screech!

You barked?

This coffee's cold
and these rolls are stale.

- You told me to serve them anyway.
- Not to me, you twit.

- To the employees.
- You work here, you're an employee.

I own the place,
that makes me an employer.

Well, smell you!

Didn't your mother
teach you any manners?

- (growls)
- Uh, uh, uh -- remember volleyball.

I remember and stop touching me--
get back, get away!

Didn't you hear that fat people
are supposed to be jolly?

What's up, Screech?

- Excuse me, Mr. Caloocci.
- It's Carosi.

I have a small,
but important favor to ask.

Forget it.

You'll change your mind
once you meet him.

- Meet who?
- Gary Lucas.

I hired him,
I thought the club could use him.

You have no authority
to hire anyone.

Oh, that's too bad.

I guess we're gonna have to kick
Gary off the volleyball team.

What a shame,
you should see him spike a ball.

Look, I--

You sure are tall, kid-- Gary.

Welcome to the Malibu Sands.
Have a seat, son.

- Have a roll?
- Thanks, I love rolls.

Have a dozen.

Maybe you ought to double
that bet with North Beach.

I'm gonna triple it. It looks like
you might get my Mustang after all.

- Hi, Zack.
- Gary, Gary this is Kelly;

Kelly, this is Gary.

- Hi.
- Yes, you are.

Being tall has its advantages.

The air's much better up here

and I'm the first one
to know when it rains.

- Cute.
- So are you.

Matter of fact,
you're the prettiest girl on the beach.

I can see all the way
from here to San Diego.

- Gary, I bet you're a great net man.
- The best.

- Let's practice volleyball! Let's go!
- Slater: Let's do it, do it!

That includes you, Spano.

Put that sissy water down
and get on the court.

Now, now, now!

Kelly:
All right, let's go.

Zack:
Here you go, Gary.

(Zack cheering)

Slater: All right, Gary,
that was a nice job, good serve.

- Stacy: Who is this guy?
- It's our newest member of our team.

I told you I had a plan.

How are you two kids doing?

Zack, I am so glad
you introduced me to Gary.

I'm getting a stiff neck looking
at him, but he's real sweet.

Enough, when is the first date?

We're going
to the movies tonight.

Gary, you sly dog.
Yes, buddy!

How's my man stretch?

I can't wait to watch him bury
North Beach's volleyball team.

In a few days, sir,
we'll both have our wish.

I just hope mine's
waxed and gassed.

No problem, son.

Thanks to you, I suckered
Monty into tripling the bet.

Remember, don't just b*at 'em --

crush 'em!

I hate to admit it, Zack,
but you're good.

I haven't seen my father this happy
since Mom remarried

and he stopped paying alimony.

- Good, can I have the day off?
- You're not that good.

Now get back to work.

Out of my way!
Lady with a baby.

- Ow!
- All: Oh!

- Oh, his foot!
- Someone call a doctor.

Boy, Zack,
you are one roller coaster ride.

First we can't win,
then we can't lose,

and now with Gary injured,
who even knows if we can play?

Okay, let's not panic.
I'm sure it's nothing serious.

Lisa's mother is looking at Gary's foot
and she is a great doctor.

She must be great,
look how well his cast fits.

Jessie:
Now is a good time to panic.

- Stacy: Oh, no.
- Zack: Sit right here.

Well, guys, it's broken.

- In two places.
- Does this mean he can't play?

- I can barely walk.
- Answer the question, will you? Jeez.

Mr. Carosi--
quick, hide Gary's foot.

Hurry up, hurry up,
here he comes. Hide it, hide it.

(Carosi whistling)

- What's going on?
- Nothing, we're just practicing.

It's called "Inner Volleyball."

We play the whole game
in our minds.

- Okay, someone set me up.
- I will, aim high.

Okay, go for it. Spike!
All right!

- (all cheering)
- Our point. Good teamwork.

- What are you doing down there?
- Nothing, just hiding Gary's foot.

Oops.

- Why? What's wrong with it?
- Nothing, it's just fine.

Ow!

Mr. Carosi...

- Gary is injured, he can't play.
- I see that.

But we still have a great team,
don't we? Stacy?

Uh...

maybe..

Maybe...

Maybe I overstated a bit
about how good we are,

like we're not-- great,
but we're definitely okay.

I bet a lot of money on you kids,
'cause you said you couldn't lose.

If you don't win that match,
you're all fired.

Okay, bub, this time
you're way over the attitude line.

- (growls)
- Nice, boss, nice, nice.

Whose clothes are these?

Jessie's, who else?
Around here she's the pig.

I'll pick everything up
this weekend, I promise.

Oh, no, no, no.
I'll get them.

Lisa... I'm so impressed
that while we're living together

you're so accepting
of my faults,

like leaving
my clothes around and--

- What are you doing?
- I just wanted to air them out for you.

Strong wind outside.

- Anyone need a blouse?
- I'll take those.

Girls, we brought pizzas.

We might as well worry about the game
with extra cheese and pepperoni.

We still have to figure out a way
to win or we can kiss our jobs goodbye.

(doorbell rings)

I'll get it.

Oh, it's me.

Great news, fellow
and fell-ette volleyballers.

I found these great
replacements for Gary.

You guys pick --
first we have Eva.

She's the best athlete
in her school.

- Great, where does she go?
- UCLA?

- USO?
- Near there.

Smiley Face Preschool.
She's the tallest one in her class.

Do I get my candy now?

Screech, we need a real athlete.

Yeah, and someone a little older.

I anticipated that.
Meet Ida May Ross.

She was on the US volleyball team.

When do I serve?

Uh, Screech...

I thought you said
she was on the US team.

She was in .

- And this is the best you could do?
- Nope, I saved the best for last.

Come on down, Big Pete.

Zack: Big Pete.

Big... Pete?
(laughing)

Big Pete. All right, Big Pete,
you play volleyball?

Just hand me a racket
and point me to the court.

Screech, is Eva, Ida
and Big Pete it?

- There's nobody else.
- Well, Big Pete,

I guess you're in.
Welcome to the team.

Ow! I'm telling.

This is hopeless,
there's no way we can win.

Ooh, here's a good job, Jessie.

Cleaning freeway graffiti?

- You call that a good job?
- If you stay away from the cars, it is.

Here's one for you, Screech.
Food taster.

- Where?
- Happy Kitty Cat Food.

I worked there last summer,
the food's great,

if you don't mind
eating on your knees.

- What are you guys doing?
- We're all looking for new summer jobs.

After tomorrow's volleyball game,
we're gonna need 'em.

Come on, I don't believe you're
giving up before the game starts.

- When should we give up, Kelly?
- We're not giving up-- hear me-- ever.

You guys are not
gonna believe this telegram

we got from
those jerks at North Beach.

North Beach, huh?

- Maybe we can get a job there.
- Listen to this --

"Dear Losers, We hope
you can breathe underground,

because we're gonna bury you
in the game tomorrow.

You stink.
Your friends at North Beach."

Who do these guys
think they're calling losers?

Are we gonna let them
get away with that?

Yes! I mean no.

Let's show them what
we're made of, Big Pete.

That sounds like a team
I'm proud to coach.

Let's go out there
and practice, practice, practice.

- All: Yeah!
- Kelly: Whoo, all right.

I'm really glad
I sent this telegram.

I hope you're a
good loser, Carosi.

Listen up, everyone.

Remember, when you're out there
it's not how you play the game,

it's whether you work here
next week or not.

Oh, yeah,
thanks for the pep talk.

Referee:
Teams take your positions.

Malibu Sands Club serves first.

(whistle blows)

- Zack: Is everybody ready?!
- Slater: Ready! Let's go!

Not me. My feet are k*lling me.

- All that practice gave me blisters.
- Ooh, what--

- Pete--
- We don't have enough people to play.

- Great, we're gonna have to forfeit.
- No, you won't. I'll play.

- Stacy? All right!
- Stacy!

All right, let's do it.
We've worked hard for this guys.

(all cheering)

One, two, three, win!

Hey, babe. Wanna do yourself a favor
and go out with me tonight?

I'd love to...

but I'm relacing
all my tennis shoes tonight.

(crowd cheering)

Zack:
Set it up, set it up, set it up.

(crowd groans)

Got it, got it, got it--

Come on, teamwork!

- Kelly: Get it, get it!
- I don't want it, I don't want it!

(all cheering)

It's all in the wrist.

(all cheering)

Zack: Got it!

(groaning)

(crowd cheering)

(cheering continues,
whistle blows)

Hey, Tad, I changed my mind.

I'd love to go out with
a handsome guy like you tonight.

- Really?
- (grunts)

Nah, forget it.
I don't date dweebs.

It's match point.
Let's do it.

- Here we go.
- Whoo!

Yeah! Let's do it.

Come on, Zack,
this one's for the car.

(cheering)

All right!

(instrumental theme music plays)